Fun and Games
by Krystalana
Summary: Dalia is a cowardly girl that makes it a point to avoid problems at all costs. Seems like problems didn't get the memo. Also known as how a perfectly normal, human girl, ended up in the world of Kuroshituji, cheating her way into avoiding certain death, thanks to the power of games.
1. Prologue

**Welcome to my first story, I hope you enjoy it.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing, nor do I get any profit from this, this is merely for enjoyment.**

 **The 'the gamer' ability is taken out of the manhwa _The Gamer_ made by Sung Sang-Young and Sang-Ah. Even if I will be using this as the MC's ability, it won't be necessary any prior knowledge of said manhwa, as I will be explaining everything needed in-story.**

 **Black butler's characters don't belong to me, either. That honor belongs to Yana Toboso.**

 **This is a prologue of sorts, the story will properly begin in the next chapter.** **The story has a slow pace.**

* * *

 **The Gamer: fun and games**

"The specimen seems to be in healthy condition, but we have reasons to think its origins may not be... from this planet"

A cough

"Although its physical appearance closely resembles that of normal humans, its behavior clearly reveals the true nature of the specimen, which I will baptize as "Specimen Potato"."

"Excuse-"

"It seems to have noticed my observations, but more proof has to be gathered before concluding if it is a sentient being"

A sigh

"So far my conclusions have led me to determine that its current goal is to mingle amongst our race, although it still seems unsure if it's disguise will be good enough, and hangs around the edge of the crowd. It seems to be gathering information on human behavior before it tries to mingle."

"Please stop"

"Ah it speaks! The specimen is able to reproduce the sound of our language, and possibly learned its patterns, very interesting. I will now approach the subject. Hello alien being! Pray to tell what is going on inside that alien mind of yours?"

"You think you're funny, but you're not"

"Please, I'm hilarious! Alright, come on I just wanted to cheer you up, don't make that baked potato face"

"I don't-"

At this point it was pretty obvious that, no matter what I said, I wasn't going to win this conversation.  
So I did the mature thing and avoided unnecessary trouble by changing the subject.  
"Let's go inside, we're going to be late"

No one said I did so gracefully.

"Yeah, sure, I don't even know why we are going to University today, they should have closed it for the time being"

I blinked. "Why?" It wasn't supposed to be a non-working day, as far as I knew.  
"Gosh, haven't you heard? There's supposed to be high risk of earthquakes this month, and a lot of places are closed just in case, but the University sent a mail to say that there would still be class. Didn't you read it?"  
"Err." Not really  
"What would you have done if class was cancelled? I can already see you outside class looking lost, you have to be more aware of these things"

I knew that, it's just... hard. In an attempt to avoid looking at my friend altogether I fished my phone and turned it on to see the time. And evade the conversation, of course.  
I expertly ignored the rolling of my friend's eyes just outside my peripheral sight and unsuccessfully tried to turn the phone on.  
Why wasn't it working?  
"Alright, I get it 'shut your mouth Kim, I hate the sound of your voice'. Let's just go before we really are late and they decide to flunk us altogether".

They wouldn't fail us just because we didn't come to class for a day. Especially if it was a day that was supposed to be closed because of an earthquake alert.  
I was more surprised Kim hadn't decided to skip because of that very reason. She had skipped before for less reasons.  
She probably was already on the line and didn't want to push her luck.

Pocketing the phone, we entered our class, while I tried to think positively about the situation: the phone was already dead, I wouldn't have to silence it for class.

The teacher, a small man with a smaller voice, decided that he would start class early to inform his students of something he considered as important.

"As I'm sure most of you already know, yesterday was announced that sometime this month there would be a high probability of an Earthquake happening.  
I know most of you wouldn't want to be here knowing this, but the school cannot be closed for so long, as your schedules would have to be re-arranged and we would be unable to teach all the material we have to.  
Instead the University will close next week when that probability is at its highest.  
I hope that for the remainder of this week you will still come, as this will be important for the exam."

* * *

A rumble.

"Is the ground shaking?"

I didn't notice, at first, but now it was obvious, the ground, and probably the whole building, was slowly, but noticeably shaking.  
The teacher stopped the lesson once it was obvious no one was paying attention.

Some classmates decided to look out of the window.  
"Woah, the ground looks like water!"  
Are they stupid? Even I knew that during an earthquake you have to hide under a table (where I was now) or doorway.

"Edric, Edric!"

"Please!" The teacher tried to say something but I didn't hear it, and I at least was trying to pay attention. There was no hope for those classmates that weren't even trying.

"Hey Dalia look it up! The ground outside looks like it's made of water!"  
What? Nononono. "Kim! Come back here!" If she heard me, she gave no indication.  
Why was everyone so stupid? Can't they see this is not a joke? Sure the quake didn't seem to be that strong, but I had seen these things in TV and this here was a disaster waiting to happen.  
The moment I crawl out of my desk the ground will surely open under my feet or fall on my head.

"Everybody please go stand against the wall furthest from the window, stand in the doorway or crawl under your desks!"  
I don't think the teacher was going to convince the three fools that had decided to do exactly the opposite of what he just asked. If they even heard him.  
And one of those fools was my friend.

Everyone was talking, fidgeting and glancing at the three that seemed mesmerized by something outside the window.  
Another fool even dared to approach them by scurrying under the tables to get closer.

I was that fool.

Once I was under the table closest to the only window of the class I grasped Kim's hand and forcefully yanked her under the table with me.

She may have hit her head a little bit, but if she was good enough to complain about keeping her away from the window and not about her head, I don't think I should worry.

"HEY! LOSERS ARE YOU _STUPID_ OR SOMETHING? THE TEACHER SAID GET UNDER THE FREAKING TABLE!" Seeing as I was freaking out myself, I don't think I was in any place to criticize the hysterical voice of one of my classmates.

"Was that Ana?"

I understood her bewilderment, Ana was a very carefree girl that loved anime and drew like a mangaka straight from manga heaven. She didn't raise her voice. She talked, everyone listened.

I still sent her an accusatory glare. She deserved it fully.  
At least she looked properly chastised.

The other two fools seemed to have taken refuge under a table two rows away. Looks like they too were quite chastised, thanks to Ana, who could at least knock some sense into people.

"All-alright let-let's..." the teacher seemed more scared than myself, and the sight of four of his students going straight towards the window (sadly I had to include myself, even if I had a good reason) probably gave him a heart attack.

Not to say I wasn't scared, I was terrified. But at least I had managed to get in a place a little bit safer AND my best (and sort of only) friend was safe too.

I heard a crash and after a few more seconds of swaying and rumbling, finally everything stopped. And I meant everything, like the calm before the storm.

Kim seemed eager to get closer to the rest of our classmates, which seemed to have horrified faces and eyes the size of oranges, probably from the crash, something must have broken and fallen.

I was a little bit too scared to move yet, and my legs were... well my whole body was shaking. Or maybe it as the after a th of the quake.

Kim got her head out of the table... and instantly froze. "Dalia..."

Looking at her, she seemed paler, the situation finally getting to her. If it hadn't already. See why we had to get under the table?

She, of course, was in front of my vision of the outside that wasn't covered by the desk, so I couldn't quite tell what had made her freeze.

I hope she wasn't trying to look out of the window again.

With that in mind, I started trying to get in front or at least get a better vision so I could say that whatever she was doing she should stop.

I didn't get the chance.  
The ground opened under our feet.

* * *

Dalia wasn't a religious person. In fact, most religious displays usually made her uncomfortable, not because she hated any religion in particular or in general. She simply hadn't been taught to believe in any god, she had been taught that everything had an explanation, everything could be proven with hard facts, so any displays of faith always left her wondering what she should do with herself.  
She sometimes liked to entertain the possibility of a higher power that ruled their lives like she ruled her Sims. But it was that, speculation.

So, when her only friend started praying, she could only wish that her parents had been less aloof and decided to at least teach her their religion so she could join her friend and pray for their lives.

They were currently outside their University building, hanging from the remains of what was once a window, now a gaping hole that seemed to want to devour them whole.

After the power line right outside their building had fallen on it, taking with it their classroom's window, along with part of the wall, the floor under said wall had started to crumble, taking the desk and the girls with it.

Now they were hanging, almost a floor lower than they originally were, with Dalia holding for dear life from her friend, the only thing preventing her from becoming a pancake.

She knew her friend couldn't keep on holding from the crumpled remains of the wall, and neither could she keep hanging from her friend. She could already feel her hand slipping.

Ironically, to Dalia, this position in the movies always seemed like an overly dramatic scene, in which the protagonist resolutely declared they would not release their partner in hanging (usually the antagonist or another bad guy).  
Usually the bad guy ended splattering the floor.

Now she was the bad guy.

She was almost a thousand percent sure she was done for. The only thing she could do was let Kim go, to make her burden lighter (at least physically).  
She didn't want to die.  
She wouldn't blame Kim if she let her go, knowing that in the other's head something similar was going on.

She didn't want to die.  
She was afraid to die.  
She was afraid to live.

Her feet were dangling in the air, and maybe this wasn't the best time to admit that, but she had always been scared of heights. She would always deny it and climb high places to show she was not afraid. But in the privacy of her mind, high above the ground, she knew it. She was scared witless.

She looked down. She knew she shouldn't. But she did anyway. With the kind of resignation of someone who goes to visit a friend they are not that proud of, but still know they can't keep avoiding it.

Right underneath her feet was the pole of the power line, with its base broken and precariously perched against the remainder of the wall of the floor right underneath their classroom.

Dalia, as scared as she was, thought that if she could place her feet on top of the pole, she could give a lift to her friend, save her. At least save her.  
She had made peace long ago that when her time came, it would take her, and there was nothing she could truly do to avoid it.  
Now, when she clearly saw her death before her eyes, she couldn't embrace it like an old friend. She was afraid. Afraid for her friend. Afraid that, if she left now, she would be leaving her friend behind with a broken heart and body.

If she could try to save Kim, if she could save her friend, her life would have been worthwhile.

"Kim..." trembling as she was, she still managed to find her voice. "Let me go"

"NO! I will never!" Of course, she was thinking about their possibilities too, but hadn't moved past the cliches in the movies yet.  
"Stop being stupid, I can lift you". 'If the pole holds up', she could have added, but she knew that wasn't the smartest thing to say right now, besides, she was too scared that voicing the possibility would make it reality.

Kim did as told without question, at least it was the best idea they came up with.

Dalia managed to get her feet atop of the pole, and silently instructed Kim to put her feet on top of her.  
With the help of her shoulders, hands, and even her head she managed to push her friend to safety.

Now, what? Was this it? Was she going to die, now? She had saved her friend. She could die now and, as scared as she was, at least it would be different than before. Different than hanging from a pole high up. But maybe she wouldn't die. Maybe she could try to crawl into the window of this floor though the pole. Maybe this wasn't her time to die yet.

Well, she was already sitting on the pole, she only had to somehow hang from it and enter through the window that was directly under it.

She petted my head, as she usually did when she wanted to gain an ounce of bravery. 'Everything will be fine. Everyone will be fine.' She repeated in her mind like a mantra.

Lowering herself so she was instead riding the pole, she tried to open the window.

The pole was trembling. The window was trembling. Her fingers were trembling.

Then the world started trembling again and the pole fell all the way to the ground.

'You are dead.'  
'Reloading a previous save file... Previous save file not found. Reloading failed.'  
'Creating new save file... calibrating...  
Calibration complete. New save file created.'  
'Reloading save file...'  
'Reloading complete'


	2. Chapter 1

**So, I've started revising the first chapter with LittleSkyCompass who is helping me improve in my descriptions, there aren't any significant changes to the story and we merely put more descriptions.**

 **Beta Reader: LittleSkyCompass**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

 _'New save file loaded.'_

 _'Error in backup file found.'_  
 _'Err- bac- ... -n f-l-... -nd'_

I woke up with sweat on my brow and tears running down my face.  
I confusedly looked around, finding myself in my… bedroom?

 _'After sleeping in your bed you wake up with your HP and MP completely restored, all negative buffs removed'_

Yes, this was my bedroom.  
It was dark, I could barely see more than a foot in front of me, but at least the silence of the room allowed me to notice the slightest movement.

I heard footsteps, padding across the floor. Then a door opening.

The open door let some light inside, allowing me to see a familiar shape peeking into the bedroom.  
Finally, hushed voice could be heard breaking the silence. "Are you okay? I heard movement... and thought it was strange you were up this early. Did you stay up all night?"

It was my best - _and sort of only_ \- friend. We shared an apartment that was closer to our University.

"No" I denied, shuffling my feet under the covers. Despite being so quiet, I knew my friend heard me. "I just had a nightmare."

"Sorry" My roommate's eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Did you want to talk about it?"

"...It was..." The dream's memory was quickly slipping away, and I was having trouble to remember it contents already. I bit my lip, thinking. "…just a falling dream, there was a quake and I fell from a gap."

"Oh" Her lips quickly pulled upwards in a teasing smile. "I guess even the emergency earthquake alert would _shake_ someone like you" I noticed the smile was a bit too strained to be real, as she tried to cheer me up.  
She didn't like her own joke, but I did, I was a sucker for bad jokes.

She probably did it to cheer me up, and it worked.

I smiled, thankful for my friend's concern, my spirits felt a bit higher.

The joke attempt was truly pitiful, yes, but the intention behind it was pure.  
I plopped back into bed, the mattress whining a bit before accepting my weight, even if I was certain I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, but ultimately too tired to do something like getting up.

"So..." my roomie began. By the way her face contorted into a condescending expression, I knew she was going to make an offer I wouldn't be able to refuse. "You're gonna laze around in your bed all day? Or do you wanna watch" She paused dramatically, totally looking down on me. "A-ni-me~?"  
A sigh escaped me, that wasn't fair at all, as we both knew I couldn't say no to that.

"Alright" I agreed, thoroughly defeated. "Just let me at least eat breakfast or something."

"Sure" She complied, and I could hear the self-satisfied smirk just from her tone of voice. I could hear her footsteps walking away from my bedroom, soft thuds following her every step as I started stretching lazily.

 _'After sleeping in your bed you wake up with your HP and MP completely restored, all negative buffs removed'_

I tried to turn on my phone to check the time, only for the screen to remain off. Idly, I reminded myself to charge it. It was apparently dead.

Right as I got out of my room, I was cruelly and viciously ambushed and pounced upon by a dangerous predator.  
My cat. _Well_ , Kim's Cat, actually.

I sighed, pushing the cat away from me _-and subsequently my room door, the cat's true goal all along-_ with my foot before finally attempting to make my way to the kitchen.

Apparently everyone in this house was already up and ready to start the day, because as soon as I got just a few feet away from by bedroom door, my dog, _-and this time I am the owner-_ , chased away the nosy Cat, coming back to give me her greeting sniff of the morning, only to get back to the self-proclaimed job of driving Kim's Cat up the walls.

That's my girl.

Once in the kitchen, and _thankfully_ without more distractions, I fished a bowl from the cabinet and opened the fridge where I grabbed a bottle and started pouring. It took me a little bit longer than it should have to realize that I took the wrong bottle and was, in fact, pouring water into my bowl instead of milk.

Clearly I wasn't awake enough.

 _'After sleeping in your bed you wake up with your HP and MP completely restored, all negative buffs removed'_

I twitched. That has been there, right in my field of vision, following me since I woke up. And ignoring it wasn't helping, it would seem.

It was a blue... _box_? I couldn't see it properly as it seemed determined to obscure part of my sight by staying in front of my face, but it seemed to be two-dimensional. It actually reminded me of an alert from a game.

I tried to wave it away, push it away, _blowing_ on it, glaring at it. Not a thing changed. It seemed impervious against everything I tried.  
Body working on auto-pilot, I took out the milk and returned the water to the fridge, all the while looking at the floating blue box that was stubbornly still in front of me.

 _'After sleeping in your bed you wake up with your HP and MP completely restored, all negative buffs removed'_

Yeah, it definitely seemed like an alert you would get in a RPG game. Aaaand... there was a close button. At least I think that the 'X' situated in the top right corner of the floating thingy seemed to be one. I tried pressing it experimentally.

The box closed.

Thank goodness, at least that was done. Now I could forget whatever that was and keep eating breakfast.  
Suddenly, I blinked, staring once again at where there _should_ just be clear air.

Instead, there was another box beneath where the first one had been. Several more in fact.

 _Increased friendship with Kim!  
Decreased friendship with Cat!  
Increased respect with Cat!  
Increased friendship with Kala!_

A sigh escaped my lungs, leaving me deflated, looking helplessly at the bunch of two-dimensional boxes. I should… give them a bit of my attention, if they were so determined to keep appearing, right?

They were _apparently_ in chronological order, from what I could tell. With the one about Kim at the very front, the one about Cat the cat 'behind' it and then the one about my dear doggo Kala bringing up the rear.

 _'Through making deductions with the provided information you have gained +1 Wis'_

My eye twitched. Alright, I gave them my attention, now go away.

I closed them all.

I was going to eat, and after that _-and ONLY after that-_ life could try to fuck up my brain in any way it wanted. Certainly not before.  
After a few beats of waiting for any new appearing boxes, I relaxed when there was none. Perhaps whoever is responsible for this nonsense in the first place heard me and decided to give me a break.

Good.

Now onto more important things - _like eating_.

"I swear you're an alien." Kim's voice pierced through the silence, judging me.

I kept eating, nonplussed. None of this babble was new anyways.

"How can you eat like that?" She spoke in disbelief. "Everyone knows you have to put the cereal in the bowl first, and THEN you pour the milk."

I proceeded to put more cereal into my milk.

"Noooooo!" She cried in distress. "How can you?! You lawless creature!"

Right after I finished my cereal, another blue box appeared right in front of my face to obscure my vision once again.

 _'After eating a fulfilling meal you have gained the status [Full]'_

"Do you see that?" I asked my roommate. Maybe, if she could see it too, that meant my brain wasn't as messed up as I thought.

"Yes, I saw you" She huffed indignantly. "You don't need to rub it in, you lawless alien thing."

"Not that" I shook my head. "I meant the blue box"

"THE DOCTOR?!" She suddenly started screeching. "WHERE?! EX-TER-MINATE, EX-TER-MINATE!"

I smiled with obvious amusement. "Careful Kim" I warned. "Your true identity is showing." But _really_ , Kim? That was completely unintended. I should have worded that differently. Such a Doctor Who fanatic.

"Hah" She laughed. "Though really, what are you talking about?"

So Kim couldn't see it. Was I hallucinating, then? Had I finally gone mad? Then again, Kim was the only one I could confide to about my apparent madness. The question was, should I?

"Come on Dalia" She drawled. "It was a joke, I don't care about the cereal, what's gotcha so down? Is it about the nightmare you had?" Ah, I had already forgotten about the nightmare, actually. Just as it always happened with dreams, it was slowly becoming fuzzy and hard to remember as the seconds ticked by.

Making up my mind, I told her about the box problem. And, I mean the only box relevant to my life as of ten minutes ago. Not the Doctor-Who-Tardis-Box.

She looked at me funny, but otherwise seemed to be thinking hard about my words.

"Alright..." She finally noted. Carefully enunciating the words to give herself more time to think. "Let's say I believe you. Why does that box even appear?" She questioned. "And why would you be the only one to see it?"

"I don't know" I responded honestly. "I just realized it was there." Maybe only I could see it because I was slowly going crazy, it would make sense.

"Why didn't you tell me when I went into your room before?" She frowned, interrupting before I could even begin to think what words would I use to answer. "No- that doesn't matter. What matters is: What can you do with it? I mean, did you suddenly gain superpowers or something? _Can you turn green_?" I flatly stared at my friend, looking unimpressed.

"It's just a box saying things." I finally shrugged, as my stare seemed to be completely ineffective. "I don't think it can do anything"

"Come on, you just supposedly gained a superpower and you don't wanna experiment with it? Where's your sense of wonder?" I don't think I ever had one in the first place… "Who are you and where's my friend, huh? I guess you weren't serious about it after all..."

"It's not that I don't want to-" I started, but my friend decided to change tactics in a second's notice, leaving me with a case of whiplash.

"I'm _sooo jealous_ of you!" Kim interrupted. "Do you think you can do things like gain incredible strength, or make a hammer appear out of nowhere? Do you think you can fly? What will be next? Will you suddenly be able to socialize like a normal human being? Because I would pay money to see that."

I don't know where my friend got all of this from, but I don't think she realizes that my apparent "superpower" consists of making two-dimensional boxes with game-like alerts that only I can see. I felt like I was going to let down my friend if I attempted to clarify...

"If it's like a game can you do things like make a menu appear? Main Menu!" she paused her tangent, waiting for a second to see if there was any change in our surroundings. "... Nothing happens, maybe you have to be the one to say it? Let's try!"

She seemed so excited about this that I almost felt bad for not sharing her excitement. _Almost_. All of this was weird after all.

 **'Major New Quest! [Learning the ropes]**  
 **Quest requisites:**  
 **-Open the Main Menu and learn everything you can.**  
 **-Assign at least one point to any Stat**  
 **-Defeat 5 monsters [any]**  
 **-Learn 3 new skills [any]**  
 **-Level up a Skill at least once [any]**  
 **-Complete 2 minor Quests [any]**

 **Quest Rewards:**  
 **-Exit the tutorial**  
 **-1000$**  
 **-1000Exp points**  
 **-Armor [Common]**

How much money again?! 1000$!? Just for completition? It didn't seem like I could deny the "Quest" anyways.

Kim seemed to be patiently waiting for once, so I dismissed the box and looked at her.  
Her tomboyish face was locked into an expectant expression, almond shaped eyes unnaturally wide, and her fiery eyebrows high almost to the point of reaching her hairline.

She had the kind of face that would fit well for an anime character. Soft-looking caramel skin, hair as red as hellfire, and eyes made of molten gold.  
She was beautiful. And sadly, she was not oblivious to that piece of information, and usually took advantage of it whenever the chance arose.

The only reason she didn't have more friends was probably her reckless and at times brash personality, but she was undoubtedly an astoundingly loyal friend; if not a blabber-mouthed fool.

 _'A skill has been created through repeating a certain action, you have created observe'._

 _'Quest Update! Skills created 1/3"_

What.

Wait, this was too much. I just "started" this quest and I'm not even sure of what I have to do. Except apparently, I was already on my way to completing it.

"I created a skill" I monotoned tersely.

Kim blinked surprised, "...And the main menu?"

"And I gained a Quest" I continued.

"And the Menu?" She repeated

"No idea," I informed blankly.

"Did you even try?" Kim asked skeptically.

 _Not really._ Instead of voicing that, I called out softly to continue with Kim's plan, "Main menu"

I was really tempted to say that nothing had happened, if only to say "I told you so", to Kim.  
Unfortunately for me, a menu of sorts did appear, along with another one of those blue boxes.  
Why is it that every time I wish something doesn't happen, that thing will _surely_ happen? Did the universe hate me? Did I horribly insult its mother or something?

At least I got something out of all this… I advanced the quest I hadn't quite bothered to read.

 _'Quest Update! Main Menu opened!'_

The Menu was... very game-looking, for the lack of better words.

It wasn't blue this time, surprisingly. Instead it was a very pretty shade of yellow. Huh, I liked yellow. From what I could gather as I glanced at it, there were multiple... options? I was kinda expecting to see my stats…

Oh! I could probably look at it better if I dismissed the box about the update.  
Very smart Dalia, very smart.

Well, the menu had quite a few options. Indeed it did.

[Status Window]  
[Skills]  
[Inventory]  
[Quests]  
[Traits]  
[Relationship]  
[Map]  
[Settings]

 _'Quest update! Open the main menu and learn everything you can. -Completed-'_

 _Go. Away._

The thing that caught my attention the most was actually [Settings]. I had learned that when playing games the first thing you should look at was the options menu, because not only could you use it to avoid a nasty surprise, but it could also give you a hint about what to expect from the game. It was useful to do so, considering I had no idea what was this 'game' supposed to be about.

 _'Through a well thought out decision you have gained +1 Wis!'_

Dismissed.

I would worry about things when I can actually understand them.

"Settings"

"So... did it work?" Kim's fiery eyebrows furrowed in question, irritated at my lack of response.

Another floating box appeared. This time it took on a light shade of gray…  
Oh yeah, I forgot that Kim couldn't see the boxes.

Deciding to verbally inform her, I spoke "Yes, it worked".

There were three tabs, one named [Gameplay], another named [Sounds] and right between those two was another one that read [Video] – displayed.

 _[Gameplay]_  
 _Auto-enter ID: [On]/[Off]_  
 _Show quest markers: [On]/[Off]_  
 _Show name: [On]/[Off]_  
 _Show Title: [On]/[Off]_  
 _Stop time when in Menu: [On]/[Off]_

 _[Video]_  
 _Color Blindness Aid: [On]/[Off]_  
 _Illumination quality: 0-100_  
 _Shadow distance: 0-50_  
 _Shade Quality: [Simple]/[Advanced]_  
 _Texture Quality: [Low]/[Normal]_  
 _Shadow Quality: [Low]/[Medium]/[High]_  
 _Subtitles: [On]/[Off]_  
 _Language: [English]_

 _[Sound]_  
 _Background music: [On]/[Off]_  
 _General Volume: 0-100_  
 _Music Volume: 0-100_  
 _Background Volume: 0-100_  
 _Voice Volume: 0-100_  
 _Effect Volume: 0-100_  
 _Low-Health alert: [On]/[Off]_

"From what you just said" Kim deduced, "and your concentrated face, you just found the Settings of this thing." It wasn't even a question. By now Kim knew the meanings behind the smallest changes in my facial expressions.

"I'm gonna watch Kuroshitsuji II and you cannot stop me." She suddendly blurted.

Aha...

"And" she continued, not pausing to take a breath, "I will gush about Sebastian and Claude and every hot male that appears on screen."

"I don't even know who this Alaude is" I blinked.

"IT'S CLAUDE!" She hissed in offense. "Claude. And you would know who he was if you hadn't chickened out at the very first chapter with a 'this guy is scary and cruel, and the kid is an asshole' like you did."

"Cloude, Cloud, Cloudy..." I gibbered. "Doesn't really matter. And I didn't exactly say _asshole_ "

"Claude!" She corrected. "And what you said is not important! What _is_ important is that you can go play your new life-game or whatever you now have somewhere else - _because I can't see anything and I'm getting bored_ \- while I watch hot males fighting." She huffed. "One day I'll tie you to a chair and make you watch every chapter of Kuroshitsuji, and I would hate it if you had already spoiled yourself silly by seeing me watch it."

Having two conversations at the same time was getting confusing, and it's not like I particularly cared for what she saw or didn't see. Or what that guy's name is anyway.

The exact number of chapters I had seen of Kuroshitsuji was the astonishing number of two. They weren't even the actual first two chapters, either. I had seen the first chapter and that was enough for me to grasp the fact I wasn't made out to watch it, and the other one… was about curry? I didn't really get it. I had only accidentally caught Kim watching that particular chapter and had stayed a little bit longer than expected.

I could just go back to my room and explore the different options that this gave me... _or_ I could go back to my room and laze around, now that I knew that the anime in question Kim wanted me to see was Kuroshitsuji.

Cat the cat (Kim wasn't very original when it came to names) climbed up the table where I just now remembered I still had to clean my breakfast, and seated himself on top of said table.

I gave it a scratch on his head, which he appreciated if the "Increased friendship with Cat" was anything to go by, before I wrapped my arms around him and flung him towards the sofa.

Cat flew in a nice arc and fell straight on the sofa, paws first, right next to Kim and gave a slightly -just slightly- confused look at its surroundings before it decided it was time for its minion (Kim) to pay her tribute and give him the attention he (supposedly) deserved. Kim ignored him at first, preparing to watch her episode, until she finally settled down and pet Cat from time to time to appease his need for attention.

And speaking of pets, wherever had my own gone? As I went towards my room the question got its answer as I saw my beautiful lovely Kala sitting in front of my door. Likely guarding it from nosy cats.

Once inside my room with Kala by my side, seeing as she snuck in when I entered, I plopped on to my bed and arranged the [Settings] to my liking. Yes, I wanted the language in English, no. I didn't have color blindness. No I didn't want subtitles- I understood English well enough, thanks.

I had no idea what an ID was (apart from the obvious Identification Document) and why would I want to enter it. But as long as I had no idea, I would rather keep it Off. The same goes with the stop time thing.

Why would I even need background music was a mystery, but until I found a suitable use, Off it stayed. Showing quest markers would prove useful seeing as I had a very serious problem when it came to directions. Show title… I didn't quite get it but I would keep it off, just in case, and if it turned out I needed it, I could always turn it on again. Show names… er… No?  
No.

All of the other options, about shades and the like, I didn't bother touching. If I don't understand what they do, _I'm not touching them_.

Now that that was over with I could concentrate on this "game-power" I suddenly obtained. Making sure the Settings saved, I closed the box before opening them up once more. You know, just in case. Then I opened the [Main Menu] again.

 _Now what?_

I guess I could just explore the different options in order.

[Status Window]  
[Skills]  
[Inventory]  
[Quests]  
[Traits]  
[Relationship]  
[Map]  
[Settings]

Well, at the very top was [Status Window], so I guess that would be the first one.

The status window... was exactly what I had been expecting when I opened the Main Menu.  
Now that I thought about it, it made sense. The Main Menu would be like the pause or escape button from which you could access other menus. Among them the Status Menu, which gave information about my Stats such as health.

[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: None  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 3  
Exp: 21%  
Hp: 19/19  
Mp: 1/1

Strength: 1  
Vitality: 22 (2+20)  
Dexterity: 2 (2+0'1)  
Intelligence: 3  
Wisdom: 7  
Luck: 1

The highest stat I had was Vitality. Huh. Although it actually seemed to be enhanced by something. There was something that was giving me 20 points in Vitality, which, considering the rest of my stats, it was very impressive.

Wisdom was the second highest stat and this time it was natural without being enhanced by whatever was affecting my vitality. Huh, I mused. I never considered myself a very smart person. Then again, being smart wasn't the same as being wise. Wisdom the knowledge you have accumulated in your lifetime that prevents you from repeating the same mistakes.

With that line of thinkning, I'm guessing the _smarts_ and the ability to apply _-and remember! -_ calculus formulas comes from Intelligence instead. Therefore, the ability to understand what that knowledge is used for and why that formula is used would be Wisdom instead.

 _'Through the act of thinking hard regarding the meaning of your Stats and what are they are applied for, you have gained +1 Wis.'_

Hmm. I had actually gotten something similar before, hadn't I? I hadn't quite examined it closely at the time but it seemed that through doing actions I could actually increase my Stats naturally.

And what's with that single MP?! My stats are overall pathetic, yes, but this was downright embarrassing to see. 1 in Strength? I could (sort of) accept that, seeing as I wasn't that physically strong or even favored fighting in any part of my life. Aside from Shounen manga, that is.

The single point in Mp, though, said that I did have some kind of magic power or something (I was assuming that Mp meant Magic Points, Magicka Points or Mana Points perhaps?) but that it was so weak that it would be like I didn't have it in the first place.

I hope I could increase that by leveling up or by doing something, at the very least. It was rather pitiful to look at.

I sighed. Well, at least the stats reflected how much of a pathetic wimp I was. If it had actually shown amazing stats I would have been inclined to drive my head trough the Status Window.  
So far I didn't find anything particularly complicated to understand, so I guess I could go to the next menu and keep investigating.

[Skills] came next. I can only hope I'm not completely unskilled, seeing as my Stats are downright pathetic.

The skills Menu was divided in three categories: Active, Passive and Passive & Active.  
I wasn't enterely sure about the last one, but I would save it for the last. In my active skills I had [Observe] which I'm pretty sure was the skill I unlocked when I first opened the Main Menu... Or when I was looking at my friend, now that I was thinking back to it.

 _[Observe]: Level 1._

 _Through continuous examination you can identify and discover various hints, observations, traits and information about an object or person.  
Cost: 0Mp_

Well, at least I didn't need MP to use this skill, which seems to consist of simply looking around. It even has a description. Hm. It does say I can gain information about objects or people... I wonder if I can use it on pets too.

"Kala~" I practically sang her name and she quickly whipped her head towards me in a snap, wagging her tail in obvious excitement. She was so adorable. Maybe I hadn't really needed to bother her and instead just use the skill on her. I felt bad. She had seemed so relaxed.

What a fluffy ball of cuteness.

"Observe" I attempted as Kala blinked. That sounded like an order, but she wasn't sure what was expected of her.

Sure enough a box appeared.

And then Kala licked me. Her go-to reaction when she wasn't sure what I wanted. She found out I never got mad when she did that -even if I tried to turn my face away from her gross and slobbery love. Since then she had been getting away with more things that she rightfully should have.

Blerg! Disgusting.

I loved my dog. I really love her. However, that didn't mean I particularly wanted her spit in my mouth.

Turns out, the information in the box was as useful as Kala's spit was to my skin. Which meant not at all.

[Name]: Kala  
Lvl: 8  
Hp: 15/15  
Mp: 0/0

Alright this was insulting! My dog was higher leveled than me? She doubled my level! I couldn't look at her Stats like Strength but I was willing to bet that my dog was better than me in every single physical stat. Maybe I could give some fight in Vitality seeing as I still had more Hp, but everything else was a lost cause.

I looked at Kala like she just insulted my dead ancestors.

Poor Kala didn't get why I was angry and just licked me. Seeing no change, she decided to attack my face once more. For a much longer time period than before.

I couldn't stay mad at her in the end. I wasn't even mad at her in the first place if we're being honest. More like I was annoyed by my own uselessness. So I merely pet my dog like the beautiful thing she is.

 _'Increased friendship with Kala!'_

This message again. Does that mean that I can see my friends and acquaintances? Probably in the Relationship Menu I saw before.

 _'Through logical deduction and thinking you have gained +1 in Int.'_

Great! I feel smarter! Not really.

I closed the last two alerts and kept looking at the Skills menu. This time at the passive skills, where I found two skills I knew nothing about.

 _[Gamer's Mind]: Level Max_

 _Allows the user to calmly and logically think things through. Allows peaceful state of mind. Immunity to psychological status effects._

 _[Gamer's Body]: Level Max_  
 _Grants a body that allows the user to live the real world like it was a game._  
 _Hp and Mp completely restored when sleeping in your bed._

Those two seemed to come together as a packaged deal with this strange ability. I hadn't noticed before, but skills seemed to have a level, and these two were at max level.  
Does that mean I can only advance my skills to a certain point? Or are there some abilities that have no max level and you can continue to improve?

In my passive skills I found something I really didn't expect.

 _[Horse Riding]: Level 8._  
 _The ability to ride and guide a horse around._  
 _+16 Dex and Vit when riding a horse._

 _[Equine Care]: Lvl 15_  
 _Care for the well-being of Horses or other members of the horse family._  
 _+30% to Hp and Mp of any equine you take care of._

I quickly skipped those two, those skills brought back memories I didn't want to think about.

I suddenly didn't feel like looking at my skills anymore. I was afraid something I would rather forget would be shown there and I would find it. Would there be something similar in other Menus? Was I even safe by looking at them?

I grabbed Tofu and brought it close to my chest in an attempt to reassure myself and calm my slightly racing heart. Of course I was safe! It's not like anything would come out of the woodwork to eat me or anything.

I placed a hand on my dog, petting the soft fur. Even _if_ something did come, Kala and Kim -and maybe even that stupid Cat- would be there. I wasn't alone anymore.

I used [Observe] on my bed. I was trying to distract myself. I was avoiding the problem like always.

 _'A soft-looking old bed. It's yours'_

I was a coward, and I knew it. All of my life I had only been able to flee from my problems instead of holding my ground and _facing_ them. I took a deep breath and looked at the pair of pajamas I was currently wearing.

 _'An old and worn pajama pants. It has seen better days'_

 _'Observe has leveled up.'_

 _'Quest update! Level up any Skill at least once -Completed-'_

I should stop being so stupid. It wasn't like I could truly escape from my past. The memories weren't inside the game, they were inside me. They would follow me wherever I went regardless of this strange ability or not. That still didn't mean that the feeling of dread –the _shame_ _and distress_ went away just like that. It lingered and festered and fed itself off the thoughts piled into my head.

I looked at Tofu, silently asking for something, I wasn't sure what I was looking for, what was I asking for -maybe courage- the only think I know was that I was _looking_.

'[Name]: Tofu. ?  
Lvl: ?  
Hp: ?  
Mp:?

A well-cared for clown toy. It has sentimental value. It looks angry.'

Yes. I should stop being scared of my past. But it was far easier to say it than actually face those fears.

With a deep breath I looked up to the Skills Window. I had stayed in the passive skills long enough to make sure I didn't have any other important skill I should look into, and went to the Passive & Active skills.

I was not very impressed by what I found.

 _[Dish Washing]: Lvl 6_  
 _Allows the user to wash dishes and remove stains efficiently._  
 _+6% Str, Vit and Dex_  
 _+30% in Washing speed_  
 _Active effect: Power Wash - Doubles your current dish washing speed._  
 _Active cost: 25 Mp/minute_

I was the one who took care of the dishes while Kim cleaned the clothes (or at least put them in the washing machine), so it wasn't very surprising that I was level 6. I was more surprised by what I found beneath the Dish Washing Skill.

 _[Charm]: Lvl 2._  
 _The ability to endear yourself to others by being or acting cute._  
 _+2% to social actions._  
 _When active: All actions performed by the player give double the Relationship and the chance to be well received are doubled._  
 _Mp: 10Mp/min._

I wasn't cute! Was I? I was only level two so maybe I had been cute once or twice but that didn't mean I was actually cute.

Passive & Active skills seemed to give buffs like passive skills, but also could be activated to receive more benefits at the cost of Mp per every minute of usage. Which wasn't very useful because I only had a single Mp.

What happens if I don't have Mana to cast a skill?

Does it not activate? Does it bring my Mp to zero but I can use it for a single minute? Does it slowly take the mana that costs to cast, and when I don't have more it stops? And what happens when you have 0 Mp? You probably die if your Hp is zero, so does the same happen when your Mp is depleted completely?

 _'Through hard thinking about possible consequences to your actions you have gained +1 in Int, +1 in Wis.'_

All of this was giving me a headache. This was too much to take in, how was I this calm about any of this nonsense? Oh, the _Gamer's Mind,_ was it? That's probably it.

Ugh. It's barely morning and I already have a headache. Fantastic.

Now that I think about it, I have the whole morning to try to up my skills and maybe even gain some new ones while I'm at it. Maybe those points in Int are really working. I feel as if my mind thinks faster than normal. Maybe that explains the headache.

I was feeling giddy at the revelation. I could absolutely level up and grind my skills. Observe had leveled up surprisingly fast, so that probably means that, at higher levels, skills will probably level up slower.

At first I didn't quite realize, but Observe can actually be a really useful skill. I can gain information about my target's current Hp and Mp, and then maybe, at high levels I could even learn other information that would be impossible for me to gather otherwise.

And to level it up I just had to look around.

I was feeling so excited that I managed to drag myself up from my bed.

Standing in the middle of the room with Tofu in my hand and Kala by my side, who had roused when she saw me get up, perhaps under the impression I was going somewhere, I started looking at everything around me so I could power level observe.

 _'A soft-looking blue bed. It's yours. Very old. You can regain Hp and Mp by sleeping in it.'_

 _'Soft cushions that seem to beckon you into dreamland. These are new, Kala ate the last ones you had'._

That was information that I already knew, I noted. If I hadn't known that, would I have gotten the information I did?

 _'A phone. It's not new, but its owner doesn't use it very much.'_

Is there something I didn't know about my room? Maybe I should look at things I don't know much about and see what information I get.

 _'An old lamp. This lamp has seen at least twenty years, sometimes it stops working, but it just needs a soft hand to put it in place.'_

No. Nothing in my room is going to help me. I should go to another one… like Kim's.

I got out of my room and quietly snuck into my roommate's, feet silent with their mission. Kala stayed by the door looking from me to the living room, where I could hear Kim watching her anime.

I wasn't actually tiptoeing. That was stupid and made more noise than necessary, I knew my floor and where it creaked so I simply avoided those spots entirely. With ease that comes from experience, I opened the door noiselessly before trodding in.

 _'Stealth has leveled up by one!'_

I had a stealth skill? Most likely it was in the passive department where I had freaked out and left, thus meaning I hadn't had the chance to check it. With a whisper under my breath, I opened the skill menu and looked at the passive skills.

There it was, I had overlooked it completely.

 _[Stealth]: Lvl 17._  
 _Allows the user to move about silently and avoid detection._  
 _-34% less likely to be detected when sneaking. Effects negated if the user is directly in camp of vision, talks or makes loud noises._  
 _+17% in Dex._

It was astoundingly high leveled. And I knew exactly why.

Better start looking around.

I'm avoiding it again. My problems…

 _'A bed. Very messy. Looks very new, smells new'._

What the...? Observe should rely on vision rather than smell, shouldn't it? What is that doing there?

Perhaps Observe is not only about vision, but gathering information with every sense available?  
This is interesting. Would I be able to use Observe if I was blindfolded, then? I closed my eyes and tried to use Observe on Kala, who I could hear outside Kim's room pacing.

I could hear the clanking of her paws hit the floor and sometimes it would creak when she found herself trailing over certain areas.

I wasn't seeing any box alerting me to the fact it worked, although I _DID_ have my eyes closed. I opened them and glanced around. There wasn't any box in my sight.

Maybe it _was_ dependent of sight after all.

At least it was worth a try.

 _'A desk with a computer and papers on top. Slightly worn, there's dust beneath the table. Quite old. It's attached to the wall.'_

Yes that table had been mine. Maybe not the best choice, seeing as I snuck in here to look at new test subjects, rather than objects I was already familiar with.

 _'A modern-looking bookcase. It's new. It doesn't seem like the owner reads much.'_

 _'Two piles of clothes. One of the piles is massive, and it has warm and bright colors, the other pile consists of two black pants and a sweater you recognize as yours. Seems like someone forgot to do their assignment.'_

So there it was. I had been looking for them. I sighed and took my 'pile' of clothes clutching them to me as I returned to my self-appointed task.

 _'This sweater is well-worn and well-cared for. It's bright yellow with a black design that reads "Oppai" with a pair of breasts underneath. You bought this years ago when you saw it in an anime convention. Only afterwards you realized they were breasts.'_

I blushed slightly.  
Yes, _thank you_ , I remember. It was somewhat embarrassing to not have realized but I kept wearing it because I liked it and had become used to them. At the university, I was first known as the Oppai girl before my actual name was known. That could be because I didn't talk much with others...

It was cool. I should probably have realized it sooner, though.

In my defense, though, at the time I thought that it looked like the marine flag from One Piece upside down. Ah, I was getting distracted. I should go back to leveling up my [Observe] skill. At least I did gain more information with my level up.

 _'A fan. It's new. It doesn't seem like it has been used at all.'_

 _'Observe has leveled up by 1'_

Nice. It took longer than before, but I hope I gain something interesting with the new level.

 _'A carpeted floor, it's cream-colored. Looks new. Smells like new.'_

There goes the smell again. I had noticed, of course, everything in this room smelled very new, Kim must be doing something to keep that "new" smell. It was strange. Only new things smelled like... well, new. It was an obvious scent that practically screamed freshly store bought items, and was quite unique. I wonder how was she replicating it?

 _'An orange chair. Carelessly tossed aside by its owner. The owner probably was in a hurry and found this in their way. Smells like it just got out of the store.'_

I don't see much difference. The probability maybe?

I had noticed that when observing objects, it was vastly different from observing other living beings. I decided I would try to level up at least once more, then try using Observe on kala again to see if there was any diference, now that the skill was higher leveled.

I should try spamming the ability to level it up. I didn't really need to read everything, now did I?

 _'A stack of DVD about a popular anime, looks very precious to someone. It doesn't have a speck of dust on it.'_

 _'A stack of DVD about a popular anime, looks very precious to someone. It doesn't have a speck of dust on it.'_

 _'A stack of DVD about a popular anime, looks very -'_

Since I didn't find a way to skip the text I just stopped reading them. I would just close all the windows when I finished. It wasn't glamorous, but it had the job done.

 _'A stack of DVD about a popular anime-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD about a popular-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'Observe has le-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'Observe has le-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_  
 _'A stack of DVD-'_

Did I read an Observe among all the DVDs? As I started closing windows I noticed I had leveled up twice. Oops, I totally missed the first time it leveled.  
I should probably stop. Not only was it hard to be silent when whispering "ObserveObserveObserveObserve" continuously, but it was increasingly difficult to keep saying the same thing without screwing up and tripping over my own tongue.

I should go to my room to do this.

Sneaking back into my room I heard Kim gush about something in the background. Most likely anime.

Once in the safety of my room, I turned to Kala, the most beautiful and lovable doggo in my house -and my current test subject.

 _[Name]: Kala_  
 _Title: Cute doggo_  
 _Lvl: 8_  
 _Hp: 15/15_  
 _Mp: 0/0._  
 _An intelligent German Shepherd. Loves Dalia and anything coming from her. Likes to follow Dalia around and play with other dogs._  
 _Can be a bit fierce, but she is a Genuine Good Dog._

 _Status:_  
 _[With its master]: this dog is with its master. Gives: +10 Happy +10 Content,_  
 _+40% to Skill learning. +15% to social interactions._  
 _[At Home]: This dog is at home, and it will protect it with it's life! +10 Content._  
 _[Sated]: This dog recently drank water. +3 Content_  
 _[Needs to go]: This dog needs to go out, when nature calls it bellows. -20 Content._

What time was it? How hadn't I realized?! Kala needed to go out! I had forgotten with all the commotion regarding the game. I felt like a terrible owner.

Getting dressed in under 5 minutes should have been made into a skill, but sadly it was a skill I had already mastered, so it wouldn't have been very useful anyways.

I managed to fit into the black pants and yellow sweater in an impressive sixty seconds, and used two more minutes to lament having forgotten that I broke the strings that held my shoe closed, before fixing it to the best of my ability. It was hazardous at best, but it worked. Then I used the remaining two minutes to take the plastic disposable bags used to pick up my dog's "gifts", before taking the leash and shouting into the living room.

"I'm going out for a walk with Kala!"

Should I take Tofu? I didn't want him getting lost, but I simply couldn't leave him behind. In the end I put him in my sweater's pocket, took the keys (very important) and got out of the house.

Kala had a lot of fun. Once she relieved herself, we went to the park where all of her friends were and I simply lived vicariously through her, watching her play and have fun. I couldn't keep my eyes away from her (I really couldn't), so using that time to level up skills didn't even cross my mind as kala ran around the park buzzing with happiness.

It was only on the way home I realized that I could have used being outside to level up something. I wasn't sure if I had anything I would need to be outside for, to be able to practice, but it wouldn't hurt to have look.  
Maybe next time I went out with Kala, right now we were almost home and I had already lost my chance. I hope I didn't forget… which knowing me, I surely would.

After we made it home Kala simply walked to the living room, the very image of exhaustion, and dropped onto the floor seeing as Cat had stolen Kala's bed.

"You were gone for two hours" Kim scolded. "I tried calling to ask something but you didn't answer."  
"I left my phone charging in my room. What did you need?" I asked.  
"Something about the game" She replied. "I forgot what" At this she shrugged, not really bothered she had forgotten. Maybe because through the whole conversation she hadn't teared her eyes away from the screen.

I went to my room and retrieved the phone I had left charging before I went back to the living room. I tried to turn on the phone, but it was useless, it refused to indicate any sign of life.

"I think it's dead" I noted worriedly. Even if I didn't use it for nothing other than as an over glorified clock to check the time and have a bazillion of alarms set up just so I wouldn't forget to breathe, I still needed it.  
I expectantly held it out to Kim in order to get her expert opining, she was the tech-wizard of the house.

"Mhm?" She mumbled. "Let me look at it"

She gave it her attention for exactly five seconds, tearing her eyes away from the TV screen, barely glancing at my pitiful excuse of a phone, and just like that she turned it on.  
I sighed dejectedly. Sometimes I thought I had somehow gotten the soul of an old granny. Technology sometimes baffled me something fierce. I wasn't even sure what had I been doing wrong.

Another sigh escaped my parted lips.

"I will... keep looking at my menus." I informed her dejectedly.

"Go nuts" she responded distractedly, barely paying me any attention, completely enraptured with her anime.

She wasn't expecting a response from me, which was good because I wasn't sure what to answer to that.

What was the last Menu I had looked at? I had already forgotten.

"Main Menu" I pulled it up. I had to somehow learn of another way to open this. Kim knew what was going on, but anyone else might think I was crazy if I started saying game jargon seemingly out of nowhere.

[Status Window]  
[Skills]  
[Inventory]  
[Quests]  
[Traits]  
[Relationship]  
[Map]  
[Settings]

So far I had opened the [Status Window], [Skills] and the [Settings] Menu.

"Inventory" I went with the next thing on the list.

Sure enough, an inventory opened. It showed what I was currently wearing (the Oppai sweater looked very cool with the black pants, in my opinion) and showed where I seemingly had a lot of space to store things. Nothing was in it, yet.  
Looking to rectify that, I took off the tool belt I used to store... literally everything I had such as keys, phone and dog bags, and then put it into an empty slot of the inventory. It disappeared at the same time a new object appeared in the inventory.

It seemed to work. I wasn't sure if I had a limit number of objects or weight limitation -or any limitations at all. Regardless, I had a pocket dimension. Isn't that cool?

Wouldn't people see me make things appear out of nowhere if they saw me taking something out? This deserves some experimentation. Maybe Kim could be my rat lab for this particular test?

A rabid cry was heard from the living room, causing my thoughts to come to a screeching halt. Kim was fangirling. Either that or she was being murdered. It sounded too similar to tell…

I poked my head out of the room, just in case she was in fact getting killed. When Kala started to slowly but surely make her escape from the living room, I knew the culprit was not an insane killer. Merely an insane fangirl. Experimenting could wait.

Letting Kala into my room I decided to change into my pajamas again. I wasn't going anywhere until at least 17:00 when I would end up taking Kala for another walk.

I still had a lot of time, I would get dressed then and stay comfortable now.

Taking Tofu out of my pocket and leaving him on the bedside table, I got into my pajamas in a flash.

Alright, the Inventory seems easy to understand. I would have to experiment with it once Kim wasn't in a rabid frenzy, I would need her help and cooperation.  
What was next? I closed the Inventory and pondered. Wasn't there a Quests Menu? I think I was supposed to have a quest active right now.

"Quests"

I only had one quest active. It was under the Major Quests tab.

 _[Learning the ropes]_  
 _Completition requisites:_  
 _-Open the Main Menu and learn everything you can. -Completed-_  
 _-Assign at least one point to any Stat_  
 _-Defeat 5 monsters [any]_  
 _-Learn 3 new skills [any] 1/3_  
 _-Level up any Skill at least once -Completed-_  
 _-Complete 2 minor Quests [any]_

 _Quest Rewards:_  
 _-Exit the tutorial_  
 _-1000$_  
 _-1000Exp points_  
 _-Armor [Common]_

I was worried about the 'defeat 5 monsters' part.

The minor Quests tab was empty.

There didn't seem to be much more information I could gather from here. Maybe once I had more Quests? What else could I look at? I think I had a map?

That would be very useful, as I had a tendency to get lost. Unnaturaly easily.

"Map." I called out.

...

...

 _This is useless._

The "map" _-if it could be called that-_ was completely greyed out. I could see a location marker that read "my bed" which I suppose was my house. I could see two more named "High school" and "primary school" but I didn't see any marker for my University. I suspected that was because I actually didn't know how to get there from home by foot. I had to take the subway, from there I could manage.

Sighed dejectedly. So this map was pointless. The only things it showed were things I already knew. What more was there?

 _[Status Window]_  
 _[Skills]_  
 _[Inventory]_  
 _[Quests]_  
 _[Traits]_  
 _[Relationship]_  
 _[Map]_  
 _[Settings]_

Oh? Traits? What was that?

I felt the feeling of dread creep up my spine when I though about having to look at the Relationships tab, but in the end, I knew I would have to. In fact, I needed to. But that could wait until after I looked at this "Traits" thing.

As most other menus, this one was divided into tabs showing Psychological, Mental, Social, Learned, Temporal and Physical tabs.

 _[Soft-Hearted]: +25% to [relationship], +15% successful [Negotiating], -20% to [Intimidation] and -30% to quests from [Underworld]. Can't turn down requests._

 _[Solitary]: +20% better [Skill] learning if alone. -20% [Skill] learning if in a crowd._

 _[Shy]:-20% to [Relationship] unless friendship is above 20%. If friendship is above 30% then +20% to [Relationship] with them._

Were these my personal traits? It really did sound a lot like me, now that I look at them...

All of these were under the Psychological tab. I'm not sure why. What exactly makes these traits different from the Mental ones? I probably had to look at the mental traits to compare them, then.

 _[Bookworm]: +15% Skills and Stats learned from books, written assignments are +27% faster._

 _[Directionally Challenged]: Makes the user be unable to open the map unless they get a physical copy of it. Some markers will still be able to be accessed, but the map will be unusable._

Oh, that would explain the greyed-out map. That's not very useful at all. Until now all of these traits had at least a something good about them. But this was bad; really bad.

 _[Night Owl]: If awake (between 11pm and 5am) then +30% to [Skill] learning. If the user wakes up before 10am they receive a -30% penalty to [Skill] learning._

 _[Dog Person]: +40% to [Relationship] with Dogs. -40% to [Relationship] with Cats. Social interactions with Dogs have a +25% success_

From what I could see Psychological traits were related to... how a person _interacted_ with others? Maybe? It's just a thought.

The Mental traits seemed more like the personality? Perhaps. I could clearly see a difference between one and the other, but I didn't know what the criteria was in order to mentally separate them and to question why were they called as such, but I may find out later.

So far the psychological traits should have been inside the social, in my opinion. But maybe the Social Window was something else, though?

 _[Civilian]: -40% to [Relationships] in the [Underworld], -50% [Respect] from [Underworld], +15% [Respect] from other [Civilian]._

That's all? Just one thing? I know I'm not the most social person around but I can't even understand what this trait is even talking about. The Underworld? I really don't know what this is referring to. One thing left to do then! I would have to resort to my overused tactic of 'I will cross that bridge when I get there'.

From learned traits, I didn't expect much as I wondered why they were called "learned". All of the "traits" so far seem as if it was based on someone's personality (mine) and as such should change and evolve when habits begin to differ.

 _[Patient]: +30% to [Relationship], [quests] are -20% less likely to have a limited time. +5% to [Respect]._

This looked cool. I don't get the part about the quest but it does looks useful. Maybe "learned" means they are special traits? It would be nice, to be special.

 _[Herculean]: +20 to [Vitality]. +5% to [Dexterity]._

Really? This is what I get in physical traits? I was actually expecting something like [Wimp] or [Coward and Useless], if there was such a thing.  
The main reason I'm not fit, basically, is my own laziness. Ouch.

I don't have any temporary traits, apparently. I guess these are as they say they are and I'm not missing anything.

Relationships.

Relationships…

There's nothing else to look at.

"Relationships" The word slipped out of my mouth like a command. I closed my eyes as fast I could manage before my mouth could even shut once more. I wasn't ready! Not yet! I couldn't escape either becasue I couldn't close it if I didn't see the cross button to press! I blindly tried to do so anyways.

Calm down Dalia, _this is fine._ Open your eyes… good…

The Relationship Menu was... ouch, completely empty. Ah, no it wasn't -I was just in the family tab. There were four tabs for this one: Family, Friends, Enemies and others.

In _Friends_ there was Kim, which was expected but at the same time reassuring. Along with my roommate, Kala and Tofu were there. And that's it, nothing more. It was kinda sad. Very sad.

However, I gave a sigh of relief, beginning to get more confident as I peeked at the enemies tab. Nothing. It was empty. Considering I didn't make a habit of making enemies, this was not very unexpected.

In "Others" were... I recognized a few as dog owners I met at the park. One in particular was higher than others on the relationship scale and I even remembered the name of that one on my own, Aurora, and her dog Kira. They were both very nice.

...

The others were vaguely familiar -maybe from University? I couldn't really place them and I suppose that fact is not completely unexpected. That was it and I felt myself getting slightly disappointed that _he_ wasn't there, but at the same time… I was _so_ relieved.

The Relationship tab actually showed the Friendship, Respect and Romance I had with everyone I knew. The Romance was... completely at zero with everyone which was slightly embarrassing, but it would have been more embarrassing to find that I was someone's secret crush through these means anyways.

Not that I thought I would ever be someone's secret crush, but it would certainly be awkward to find out this way.

It even seemed to have an option to organize my relations depending of Respect, Romance or Friendship, with the last one being the default option. I even had an option to see...  
 _Oh_ , dead people.

I don't know why I clicked that option and I don't know why I went to the Friends tab. My fingers had moved on their own with morbid curiosity, but soon I was wishing I didn't do it.

Kaito was there.

 _He was dead._

...

I disabled the option and closed everything, heart almost seeming to stutter as I hid from the world under the covers of my bed. Footsteps approached my room in a flurry of motion, running, before Kim's voice interrupted my mental breakdown.

"Hey, I remembered what I wanted to ask! Can you learn skill books? Like in games? You could-" She cut herself off as she saw me under the covers, noticing my predicament. "Are you okay?"

"Ah" I found myself mumbling. "I'm fine… That would be nice. We can try."

Kim looked at me funny, expression pinched. When she spoke next it was softer tone, "Alright... do you want me to go see if I can find anything? If you can take care of the dinner..." she trailed off uncertainly, voice becoming hesitant and molten eyes flickering around nervously.

That would be a good idea, actually. I should probably do something instead of mopping around in my room. Cooking would distract my mind.

"Yes" I responded. "Don't worry about the food, I'll make it. Is there anything you want?"

"Not really" Kim shrugged. "Just something that doesn't move on its own"

My cooking ability wasn't bad -or good, depending on your perspective- enough to create a living monster with food. It just wasn't anything special either.  
I dragged myself out of bed and out of my room, dragging my feet until I got to the kitchen, where I began making a salad with my absolute concentration.

 _'Cooking has leveled up by one!'_

I barely spared the message a glance. It was probably another passive skill I skipped earlier.

What else should I do? Fried eggs. They were easy to make and consequently harder for me to screw them up.

"Do you think you can learn this? It's the closest thing I found to a skill book" Kim interrupted me. The question is, why would Kim have a book about ropes and different ways to tie them? I would never know and _maybe I don't want to know._

 **'You have acquired a skill book [rope tying], do you want to learn this new skill?'**  
 **Y/N**

I wasn't sure how that would become useful to me in the slightest, but at least it didn't hurt to know something new. So I clicked Yes.

 _'Quest Update! Learn 3 new skills [any] 2/3'_

"Could you learn it?" I responded to Kim's question with a nod. "Oh" she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "The book didn't disappear. I was expecting that it would be destroyed or something. Well, at least we don't have to worry about losing any books."

It was strange. I felt like I had known to tie knots all my life, and it was made weirder by the fact I hadn't known how to until three seconds ago.

"Hey!" my roommate suddenly exclaimed, making me look up at her. "I'm going to go buy a book and see if you can learn it. I'll be right back!"

"But" I tried to stop her. "The food is almost ready..." I was a futile attempt, the door slammed shut, drowning my complaints and signaling Kim's successful escape.

This was fine, I would just eat first, seeing as I didn't fancy eating cold eggs. I put Kim's eggs in the microwave so she could reheat them if she ended up staying out for too long.

After I had ate, seeing as Kim wasn't back yet, I began to wash the dishes since I had forgotten to get to them that morning after breakfast. Once done I took out the broom and started sweeping the floor.

By the time Kim came back I had gotten another passive & active skill [Cleaning] and had leveled it up twice during her absence. The result was rather amazing.

The house was sparkling clean.

On the upside, I now knew that if I used a skill that took more mana per minute than I had, it would take all my Mp, but I would have a whole minute to use the skill. I also found out that you don't die if your Mp reaches zero. Which is a good thing, of course.

Kim looked at the sparkling floor, then back at my face before shrugged and said, "The perks of living with an alien."


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Black Butler, and I honestly never will.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"Here, have this."

'This' was apparently a skill book. Well, a whole lot of them.

"You ate without me? How heartless" Kim was doing that thing with her eyes that creeped me out. Sparkles.  
"You left right as I finished, there you have your salad, and the eggs are in the microwave."

Kim had apparently went and bought... "The survival medicine handbook?"  
"It's basically figsht aid, thought it could be udgeful"  
"Don't eat with your mouth full."

As Kim stuffed her face, I gave a cursory glance at the books she brought.  
Kim was glancing at me from time to time.

 **'You have acquired a skill book [First Aid], do you want to learn this skill?**  
 **Y/N'**

 **'You have acquired a skill book [Sewing], do you want to learn this skill?**  
 **Y/N'**

 **'You have acquired a skill book [Photography], do you want to learn this skill?**  
 **Y/N'**

"Why did you get me a book about photography?"  
"Dunnow, I faw it in the library and fhought it waf cwool." I could barely understand her, with all of that food in her mouth.  
It was a miracle she hadn't choked.

I glared at her.  
She swallowed.

"Once you're finished with learning them I will bring them back to the library. At least we don't have to worry about losing them, seeing as they don't get destroyed. Ah, and show me how they work, I wanna see."

I learned all the skills books she brought me. At least I didn't have to worry about her spending all of her money in books for me.

Of course, it wasn't my business what she spent her money on, but I would feel bad if she spent it on me.

 _'Quest Update! Learn 3 new skills [any] 3/3 –complete-'_

"I'm done". Right now, the best I could do was level up the skills I already had.

"Okay, I'll return those books... after I finish this."

I used [Observe] on the aforementioned 'this'.

 _'Fried eggs. Quality: Decent. Rarity: Common. A fried dish that satisfies hunger and restores Hp._  
 _+0'3 Hp Regeneration_  
 _-20 Hunger._  
 _+3 Hp._  
 _Very bland, Could improve if you added something'_

Huh, so food gives benefits. I should improve my cooking skill then.  
If food can restore Health, then I will probably need it if I encounter a monster.

I hadn't forgotten the quest. Not only could I encounter monsters, but I also was supposed to kill a bunch of them.

I couldn't even harm a fly. Well, maybe I had killed my fair bit of flies, but only if they became annoying first, it was self-defense at best.  
I don't think I could kill anything bigger than a rat.  
Maybe not even the rat.

Even setting aside the morals of killing at all, my Strength Stat was laughable. My only chance to kill a monster was by making it laugh to death.

Well, thanks to that skill book Kim got me, I could try to tie up the monster and then kill it. But to tie up the monster I would need it to stay still. And if I could keep it still long enough to tie it, then I wouldn't need to tie it up in the first place.  
It's not like I could politely ask the monster to stay still while I bashed its skull in.

Sigh. This was complicated. Why did I even need to complete that quest, though? I mean, the money was nice and everything but... I didn't see any penalty if I took too long or failed... aside from the obvious 'death' that is implied when you fail to kill a monster.

I think I should practice the rope skill, maybe at higher levels I can throw the ropes or even tie them up faster.

Huh, I really didn't think I would actually find that skill useful.

But for that I would need ropes, which I don't have. Not so useful after all.

Sigh.

Where would I get ropes? Where _could_ I get ropes? Did I even _need_ ropes, or could it be something like a piece of cloth?  
I should try at least.

Going into my room I fetched some shirt I could break to get cloth. Didn't I have a shirt Kala munched on?  
I hGad been planning to throw it away or repair it.  
I had thought of learning to sew, to mend all of my clothes Kala had used as a chew toy.

Hey, now that I got that sewing skill I can actually mend all those poor shirts, thanks to the book Kim brought me.

I found a particularly ugly shirt, which I should have thrown away even before Kala destroyed it beyond repair. She had made me a favor by destroying it, really. And I was now going to extend its life expectancy.

* * *

 _'Rope tying has leveled up by one'_

The sound of my alarm jolted me out of my tying practice. And from watching anime.

The alarm was the one that was supposed to warn me it was time to go to class.

"What's that?"  
"The alarm to go to class"  
"But we don't have class today."

I blinked. "We don't?" As long as I was aware, it wasn't a non-working day.  
"Didn't you read the mail? The University sent an e-mail to say that, because of the earthquake risk, they would close the facility for the week. Gosh, you have to be more aware of these things, what would you have done if I hadn't warned you? I can already see you outside class, looking lost."

That... was suspiciously familiar, but different in some way. It was almost as if I had already had this conversation... but different somehow.

"I... guess." I was confused, I wasn't even sure why. This dreadful feeling had nested in my stomach, every word out of Kim's mouth making me terribly unsettled.

Uncomfortable, I got up from the couch where I had managed to level up [Rope tying] the great amount of five levels. After the fourth level, I had joined Kim in her anime watching (one punch man was the one chosen for this session), although the downside of multitasking was that I was less concentrated and only managed to get one more level before we were interrupted by the alarm.

I blinked, why had I gotten up from the couch? I forgot already. Not finding any good reason to be standing doing nothing, I ended up sitting again.

Kim was eyeing incredulously the knotted piece of cloth I had in my hands. I think she whispered something, but when I brought attention to it she denied having said anything of importance.

I kept tying and untying knots. We were both silent, although I didn't find it awkward. She had stopped the chapter when the alarm started ringing, and had failed to start it again, instead she was silently staring at the characters, stopped in time, in the middle of the battle, deep in thought.

I used that time to keep leveling up [Rope tying].

Suddenly, "Did you learn how to sew?"

I wasn't expecting that abrupt change of subject, and I only managed to get a "huh?"

She sighed exasperatedly at me, and clarified. "I got you a book about sewing, you wanted to learn to sew before, did you learn?"

Well, yes of course, she _had_ gotten me the book to learn it. A nod.

"Show me".

To say I was confused was an understatement, I couldn't see her goal in doing all of this. Maybe she wants to see my ability in action?

"I need sewing supplies" I would need at the very least a needle and thread. We didn't have any of that in our home, as none of us knew how to use them.

"If you pay for them I know a place where to get them, I can go buy them for you and you pay me when I get back."  
"I can purchase them myself, if you tell me where to do it."

Kim snorted so hard that it must have hurt. "And have you getting lost? Hell, no. You can get lost in a one way street, I'm not risking sending you somewhere you have never been to."

Hey, I wasn't... no, scratch that, yes, I _was_ that bad.

Even that... traits thing had been aware of it.

I could try practicing the [First Aid] skill I had gotten. I wasn't cruel enough to keep watching one punch man without Kim. Even if it was the fourth time we watched it.

Not much after Kim left someone called at the house's phone, but when I answered whoever was on the other end hanged up immediately.  
Probably a prank call. It wasn't very funny.

Would the [First Aid] level up, even if I wasn't treating real injuries? I wasn't about to injure myself, obviously, but it would be good to know if I need a real patient, or if I could do some mock-Healing as if it was a real situation to level up the skill.

After some time I gave up, this wasn't working, I would have to wait until someone got hurt to improve this, apparently. That, or I was doing something wrong.

I should stop, maybe I could give myself a breather or I would work myself to the bone.  
I was fearing that, now that my whole life was a game, it wouldn't really be the same to play other games and wouldn't be as fun as before.

Regardless, I took Tofu out of hiding, and sat it next to my computer, the newest thing in my room.

Tofu was there for moral support mostly, I knew it couldn't give any real support, but, back before I had Kim, back before I had any friends at all, Tofu had been there, next to me to face the big bad internet. Especially if it involved that scary world of the online and multiplayer.

I wasn't about to play anything like that right now, but it had become such a long tradition that it would feel wrong to change it now. I could never play at anything if it wasn't with Tofu by my side.

What should I play? I was feeling like some mindless playing like a tick tack toe against a computer. Strange, but a classic game that I would hardly get tired of. On the other hand, I also had this game I liked very much, and could play that instead. As I tried to make a choice, I looked at the toy by my side.

Tofu... was a gift. A very precious one. He may look a little bit scary, but I wasn't afraid.  
Most people, when asked to imagine an angry clown, got an unnerving image from some scary horror movie.

Tofu wasn't like that. He was a clown, yes, and he may be angry-looking, but... I just couldn't explain it, maybe it was because I had been with it for so long...

I just couldn't be scared of Tofu, there was something, maybe the way the hands were too big, maybe it was the way its feet would be easily as big as it's body, it could even be the way it's head was ridiculously big, paired with those small, angry eyes, that made me think, 'maybe it's not the cutest thing around, but it's definitely not scary'.

I was a master in getting scared, so the fact that I wasn't scared by it, made it impossible for me to understand people like Kim, who thought the clown was a possessed by the devil or something equally disturbing.

I didn't understand her very well, but apparently she didn't like Tofu. She didn't like me bringing him everywhere I went. She thought it was creepy and that I coddled it so much that it would somehow gain life and kill me in my sleep. Or her. Which didn't make sense.

I looked at Tofu. Nope, still not creepy. I just couldn't see him that way. I probably should know from an objective point of view that there was something unsettling in that toy, maybe it was the way its firebrick colored hair was always carefully in place, like he spent hours trying to look presentable.

Maybe it was the way its red nose was remarkably smaller than what would be expected in a toy. Or the paper-white skin. Maybe it was all of this. Maybe it was something else. Or it could be nothing at all.  
Whatever it was I just couldn't find it.

I yawned. Until Kim gets back what should I do? I really couldn't decide what to play.

Oh, maybe I could finish that book I was reading. I think I left it in my bookcase...  
Yes there it was.

Well, this seems like a good way to pass the time. Maybe not the most productive, but not a bad one.

...

As soon as Kala got up and quickly went to the door I knew Kim was back. Sure enough, not long after, the door started opening.

I had discovered that, even if a book wasn't a skill book, you could level up your Stats by reading. I had managed to get my Wisdom two levels higher.

Now that I remember, didn't I have a Trait about learning from books?  
I should make sure.

 _'[Bookworm]: +15% skills and Stats learned from books, written assignments are +27% faster.'_

Yes, I did have something like that, I should have realized sooner, then, that I could level up Stats from books. Not only that, but apparently I could also level up skills?

Maybe by actually reading the book that gave me the skill? It seemed like a possibility.

Uh, Kim had already returned the books she borrowed from the library. The one about [First Aid] would have been especially interesting to look at, as I couldn't level it up without having someone injured.

"I got what you needed. Now come here and start sewing. And pay up". As impatient as always. I could have sworn I heard something about eating her hat, but that didn't make sense, Kim didn't have a hat.

I retrieved the money needed to pay for the supplies and got out of my room.

As soon as I did so the cat tried to slip in. Luckily, Kala, who had been by my side as I got out, dissuaded Cat the cat from entering... by running after him like she was about to make him her next meal.

She wouldn't do it, and Cat knew that... probably. He still fled.

I went to the living room and picked up the supplies, paying for them.

"It's a bit pricey isn't it?"  
"You're just a stingy miser, this is good quality. It's called an In-vest-ment. In the time this will last you, you would have gone through three of the lower priced ones you like to buy. And this is even taking into account your stingy ways, and refusal to throw anything away."

Wao, I got all of this just by mentioning the price seemed a bit over the top, maybe she wasn't in the best of moods.  
I wasn't stingy, I just didn't like to waste; there was a difference.

Something must be on her mind.

And I wasn't the one who would pry it out of her.

I brought the Kala-ruined shirts and even a pair of pants that had a small hole, but were still serviceable.

I would leave them for last, just in case I messed up.

I grabbed one of the shirts and started sewing. It wasn't a masterpiece, as I just started, but I clearly knew the basics like I knew the back of my hand.

 _'Your [Sewing] has leveled up by one'_

By the time I got to the pants I had leveled up twice more, with notable effects in my sewing ability.

"I'll be damned, someone get me a hat"  
"What?"  
"Nothing, just... keep going"

There were times things just slipped past my radar, things I detected but was unable to understand, and sometimes I would know exactly what was going on before anyone else. This, sadly wasn't one of the last examples.

I knew something strange had happened to Kim, and it somehow involved me, but she didn't want to admit it.

Kim wasn't a coward or bashful. But she had a tendency to... deny very fervently any accusation of doing something she wasn't supposed to. Or not doing something she was supposed to. Like the laundry thing.

Either way, I apparently wasn't smart or wise enough to understand my own friend.

"I know you have more clothes that would need a mend, so you can go do that... while I go look for a psychiatrist or something."

Blink, what? Why would she-? "What, why?"  
"Joking, just... never mind. You're too nice, you know?"

What?! Wha- that didn't have anything to do with the conversation did it?

Was the psychiatrist for me? Or did she think she was crazy or needed psychological help because she had done something I should be angry about?

Was this about the price of the sewing supplies?

Had she pocketed a bit of my money? Had she knowingly picked the priciest one, knowing that I liked to save money?

I didn't mind! Just... well, maybe I _did_ mind, but not if she felt bad about it!

"Are you okay?"  
Turning to me, she teared up, and suddenly grabbed me in a crushing hug, tears flowing like fountains.

She was asking forgiveness for something I couldn't understand, with all that mucus and tears running down her face.

It was a bit disgusting, but I endured it stoically, such was the price for friendship.

I forgave her for... whatever she wanted my forgiveness for. And very awkwardly patted her in the back.

That was the most comforting stance I knew. Yes, I was a friendless, awkward wallpaper with the facial expression comparable with that of a turtle. Excuse me for not knowing how to comfort a sobbing mess.

This was beyond my ability.

I wonder if I could make this into an ability.  
Probably not, or it would have appeared already. Or maybe I wasn't doing a very good job.  
Both options were equally likely.

She sniffed and sobbed for a while, but when she decided he had enough of using me as a handkerchief she mumbled something about making it up for something.

I wasn't about to let her walk away in that state, so I offered to go with her to... wherever she was going.

"Sniff, you dun't hav' to. Sniff, I just... I want to..." she didn't get farther than that.

That just proved my point.

She couldn't go outside like that, she was a walking fountain, a blubbering mess, AND her hair was a bird's nest.

I went to the bathroom to retrieve a brush while Kim became closely acquainted with the box of handkerchiefs we stored near the TV (one never knows when an emotive death will appear in anime).

Kim's brush was under the mirror, as usual.

Taking a second to look at myself I met the usual sight: Dropping, tired blue eyes, shoulder length messy brown hair, pale skin that needed far more sunlight than it was getting, dried lips and an impressive case of insomnia-induced panda eyes.

If I took a little bit more care of myself I would look... pretty average. I was the epitome of a forgettable face.

My hair wasn't in an eye-catching hairstyle or dye, it was plain brown, loose and it looked a bit tousled (Kim hadn't been gentle when showing her sorrow).

My eyes, even if they were blue, they weren't that shiny sky blue that people imagined when wishing for blue eyes.

I had slightly long nails, and some scars on my fingers.

All in all, I was a wallflower, a side character.

It didn't help that my default expression was 'Deadpan', and I had a serious case of 'I had fun once and it was awful'.

It's not that I couldn't have fun, it's just... it didn't show on my face.

Extreme expressions ended up fake-looking when in my face, even if they were not. That is if they appeared at all. My face seemed made only for brooding.

I blinked, that's why I didn't like looking at myself in the mirror. Thoughts ended up becoming darker and more depressing.

I fled from the bathroom.

Dedicating myself completely to the task of combing through Kim's hair was slightly relaxing, I rather enjoy participating in this mindless task, I wish she had longer hair so I could enjoy it more, but she always complains that long hair is a hassle.

"When you go out later with your mutt can you buy some pads for me please?"

 **'Minor New Quest! [Grocery Shopping]**

 **Quest requisites:**

 **-Buy all the groceries needed and bring them home**

 **Quest Rewards:**

 **-Groceries**

 **-250 Exp points**

 **Y/N'**

Ah, yes of course. A nod.

"Thanks"

I kept brushing.

Cat came in like a rocket, Kala hot on his heels. Kim and I watched as Kala put Cat's whole head in her mouth.

After a while struggling Cat managed to escape Kala's play-attack and jumped at her face. Kala being the good sport she was, despite being easily the size of five or six Cats, let herself fall on her side like she had been defeated.

Cat wasn't about to throw away the advantage she gave him and pounced on my dog like a tiger pouncing their prey.

"Observe"

 _'Name: Cat_  
 _Title: spider cat_  
 _Level: 3_

 _Health: 2/2 Hp_  
 _Mana: 0/0 Mp_

 _Str: 1_  
 _Vit: 3_  
 _Dex: 7_  
 _Int: 2_  
 _Wis: 1_  
 _Luck: 1_

 _This cat may be a rescued stray from the streets, but in this house, he may as well be king. His master's 'little kitty'. Devious and sneaky. Nimble escapist._

 _Status:_  
 _[King]: This Cat is at its home territory, he is King and owner of everything there is._  
 _+10 Happy +20 Content_  
 _[Rival!]: The king is fighting valiantly against the menace of the big bad doggo, longtime rival of the king. It is his mission to win the fight and show everyone his superior skills against a bigger opponent._  
 _+20 Happy +30 Confident'_

Just 2 Hp? He was delicate.

But Kala's play fight didn't seem to be doing him a single point of damage, so they should be fine.

I knew Kala was careful when playing with smaller things, but I almost expected at least a bit of damage.

It was funny to read the [Rival!] thing. Who knew this was such a big deal for Cat?  
I wonder if it's any different for Kala.

The house telephone rang before I could find out.

I picked up the phone. No one was talking.  
Three seconds later they hung up.

You have to be joking, again?  
Sigh.

"Who was it?"  
"I don't know, some stupid that likes to pull pranks on people."

I should get going and go out with Kala. And buy pads for Kim.

"You need anything else?"  
"Ehh... I think we're out of milk?"

I went to look.

"No, there's still a whole pack of it in the kitchen."  
"And paper?"

We could use some more paper, yes.

"And more of my soda! I don't want to run out!" Kim's soda was... simply put, horrible.

"Observe"

 _'Lip-Soda. Carbonated water that tastes like tears and vomit. Acquired taste. Steel taste buds required to drink this._  
 _+3 to Mp Regeneration for 3 hours_  
 _-2 to Hp Regeneration for 3 hours_  
 _+2 Mp.'_

I don't know how she can drink that. Even the game coincides that it doesn't taste good.

I took a paper and pen and wrote everything that was needed. Yes, even the soda.

To buy things every week we both left a certain amount of money in a purse and when we next needed to buy something for the house or both of us, we would use that money.

I took the purse, the leash for Kala and got dressed.

I made sure I didn't forget anything: List? Right in my hand. Leash? Yes, of course, looped around my hips. Purse? Yep. Tofu? In its usual place inside my sweater pocket. The dog?

"Kala~"

Yes, right here. Keys? Inside the tool belt. I believe that is everything I need.

Gently but firmly pushing the Cat away from the door with my foot (the escapist description wasn't a joke), I ventured into the world, dog by my side.

* * *

 **'You have encountered an empty Instant Dungeon. Do you want to enter?**  
 **Y/N'**

What.

Eh?

I looked at my dog. She didn't look fazed or anything. She was the one who usually warned me if there was something wrong.

I might rely on her a little bit more than was normal, but I didn't have the best eyesight. Too much reading, Kim says.

I should go somewhere to have glasses prescribed to me but... that never happens. So I was half-blind at best.

Still, I made do. I usually took notice of movements, colors, sounds and smells before actual little details.

My dog, in the other hand was far more sensitive to anything that was slightly suspicious.

So I might have started to rely on her for a lot of things, when I was outside my home (which I knew like the back of my hand, and therefore didn't need help navigating)

Kala was like my danger alarm.  
And she wasn't ringing.  
But the game was warning me.

I didn't know what an instant dungeon was. Kala didn't seem to notice anything wrong except for the very fact that we had stopped.

I didn't notice anything that would hint to this 'dungeon thing'.

I could say yes and find out.  
Or I could say no and possibly dodge a bullet.

I had Kala with me, which was a confidence boost.  
On the other side I always felt less confident when I was away from home.

Would I be able to escape the dungeon afterwards? How would I escape? Would another alert warn me I could escape just like now?

This seemed to be related to the game, seeing as the only sign that there is something wrong comes from the alert.

Maybe I would be able to find out why I suddenly woke up with these abilities.

On the other hand, who said there was an answer at all? Maybe this wasn't related at all with my ability, and I could get in trouble for entering.

But... this said it was empty, right?

I opened the Inventory and dumped the groceries in it. Huh, this was convenient.  
Just in case I put a hand on Kala's side, as I didn't want to accidentally get separated, and very reluctantly pressed 'Yes'.

For a moment I thought nothing had changed. But by the way Kala's ears suddenly perked up I knew.

Something had changed.

It was silent.

In the city, you could always hear a car or a bird or the bustling of feet as people walked to their destinations.

This was strange, uncomfortable.

It was unnatural.

It wasn't quiet in the way that it was completely silent, I still could hear my own breathing, instead it seemed like the whole city had been abandoned by all life.

Unsettling.

Kala seemed to think so, as her ears seemed to dart around in an attempt to find out what had happened, why it was so silent, where had all the noise gone.

"It's alright Kala, everything's alright."

Except that it wasn't because I was dreading the moment something would crawl out of the shadows and attack us.

Except that it didn't happen.

 _'You have entered an empty instant dungeon, to exit use [Escape ID]'_

ID? Wasn't this famil- the Settings! I had disabled an option about automatically entering ID! I was lucky I had looked at the Settings, or I would have been very confused if I suddenly found myself here. So ID meant Instant Dungeon?

Escape ID, huh? And... How was I supposed to use it?

I halfheartedly raised a hand and called "Escape ID!" I think that when using active abilities I needed to say out loud the command, to activate them.

I'm not sure if I was expecting it to fail. Luckily it didn't.

 _'You have created a new Skill, [Escape ID]'_

Huh. It worked. Well, no it didn't, I was still here, but at least I had created the ability.

Opening the Skills Menu I looked at my brand new skill. Because I had no idea what I just did.

 _[Escape Instant dungeon]: lvl 1._  
 _Use your Mp to break the dungeon and escape from it or completely destroy it._  
 _-If the user created the dungeon_  
 _Cost: 0Mp_  
 _-If the user is different from the creator of the dungeon, then chance of destruction = (Skill Lv+((Int+Wis):100))+Mp spent - (Opposing Int+Wis)._  
 _-If the creator from the dungeon is not the user and creator is not within the dungeon then. Chance of destruction x4._  
 _Cost: Variable._

Oh, that was...  
I could create dungeons?  
Yes, that's most of what I actually got from all that. I wasn't a math geek. All of those formulas went right over my head.

I have very little Mp, so I doubt I can actually escape if the creator is around. But seeing as this is an empty dungeon then that means that the creator is not inside, right?

Maybe?  
I was suddenly less sure about this. I should get out, this was a bad idea, bad, bad idea. Bad things happen to adventurous people.

I should turn around like the coward I was and run home. Once there I could have a look at creating my own dungeons or whatever.

"Escape ID!"

 _'You have not enough MP to activate [Escape ID]'_

What?

Having a look at my status I saw that I must have somehow wasted my single Mp when trying to create the skill, because it was a pitiful 0/3 MP.

I could have started crying rivers. I didn't, though.

I just noticed I actually have 3 Mp now. And even then I was still needing to replenish it.

Didn't I have Kim's gag-inducing soda among the groceries?  
Didn't that heal MP?

I must really be desperate to be even considering drinking that.

I took it out.

Did I really need to? I mean how long does it take to regenerate Mp naturally?  
Did I even need to drink all of it, for its effects to be of use?

Crossing my fingers I took a sip.

Only highly developed suppression of gag reflex allowed me to drink that mouthful of soda.  
That didn't make it less awful.

Disgusting. I hope that is enough.

A wail of despair. It wasn't. I needed to drink all of it. I felt like puking.

I couldn't do it.

A growl.

A bark.

I knew Kala's bark better than I knew my own voice.

That bark wasn't Kala's.

OhMyGosh WhatWasThat?!

...

What.  
Was.  
A.  
Wolf.  
Doing.  
In.  
Here.

It didn't seem very happy with us.

The thing was big and black and the size of a freaking house. It was the size of an elephant!  
Not that I had ever seen an elephant in real life. I _think_ it was the size of an elephant.

Observe gave a name to call this hellish thing that could give Cerberus a run for its money.

 _'Name: Biscuit_  
 _Title: None_  
 _Level: 23_  
 _Hp: 149_  
 _Mp: 11_

 _Str: 48_  
 _Vit: 27_  
 _Dex: 29_  
 _Int: 2_  
 _Wis: 1_  
 _Luck: 1_

 _A Demon Hound. The Smartest of the Hell hounds, can breathe fire and change into a humanoid form. Don't expect to be able to negotiate with it though, the Demon Hounds only listen to those they deem worthy._  
 _It seems you invaded its resting place and it's not very happy. Don't expect to live much longer.'_

WHO THE HELL HAD THE BRILIANT IDEA OF NAMING THIS THING BISCUIT!  
AND LOOK AT THOSE STATS! LOOK AT THEM!

I was dead meat. I would become its chewing toy for the rest of my life.

I chugged down Kim's Soda like my life depended on it, because it did.

I was so dead. Kala would probably become this monstrosity's plaything, if she was lucky.

Was THIS the type of monsters I had to kill?! And five of them?! The game was crazy.

The game was crazy and it wanted to kill me.

"Escape ID!"

I was firmly grabbing Kala's collar in an attempt of preventing her from charging (or fleeing, she looked pretty scared, too) the monster.

'Escape ID failed.'

OMG this wasn't working! My chance was too low! I was too stupid!  
And here I actually meant with low Int, but I might as well be really stupid.  
Too stupid to live. That's what I was.

Of course Dalia, you see a mysterious alert, and what do you do? Meddle in things you shouldn't! And now we're going to dieeeee.

Kala started wagging her tail at the hellthing.

No Kala nooooo, this is way out of your league! This thing doesn't want to play! It's annoyed at us for being stupid morons!

I was in the middle of panicking and if Kala leaves to go play with a thing the size of a freaking mammoth I might as well surrender myself to insanity. My heart cannot take this.

Kala, brave, valiant Kala approached that big bad demon wolf thing.

And started playing.

"Biscuit" didn't seem very amused. _I_ could see that, and I wasn't a dog.

Sadly Kala was socially inept when it came to understanding when someone didn't feel like playing, and started running around the dog-wolf-Demon-devil-thing.

She even pulled her favorite move when playing: turn around and smack somedog's face with the side of her rear, followed by a sneak attack, Instant retreat or playful smile depending on how she was fancying.

Of course the thing was massive, and she barely smacked its left paw.

The difference in size between them was as big as the difference between Cat and Kala.

Meaning this thing could easily fit half of my dog inside its mouth.

I think my mind broke or something. I was much calmer.

Was this because of that Gamer's mind thing?

I could not defeat it, I could not escape.

I really didn't know what to do.

Apparently Kala already decided what she wanted to do.  
That happened to be something among the lines of 'play with this massive creature that has a resting face that induces nightmares and fear in the hearts of people'.

Sometimes I thought my dog was very smart. This was not one of those times.

I should probably look for a corner to start crying in, this looks like it will take a while.

At the very least the demon seemed to stoically accept all of Kala's attempts at playing, without really engaging in attempts of its own.

Maybe it was tired?

It somehow reminded me of Kala after our walks, when she's lazily trailing behind, or when Cat tries to play with her, but she just got back and doesn't feel like it.

Responding, but not initiating.

The thing sat, and for a moment I thought that quake alert had been true.

"Biscuit" was completely on its side, with Kala being a nuisance around it.

I think it though us too stupid to die.

At least I was pretty sure Kala was.

But, things had not changed at all.  
I still couldn't escape from here.  
I was apparently going to need to wait until the dog broke the dungeon or left. Or I could keep downing that horrible soda and trying to escape.

My stomach was still throwing a fit for my previous recklessness, so that was out. Urgh... my poor tummy... I gagged.

But now I had a slightly enhanced Mp Regeneration so I could keep trying to escape as my Mp recovered.

This was going to take more than a little while.

* * *

 _'Minor Quest Complete! [Groceries]_

 _Reward:_  
 _-Groceries_  
 _-250 Exp points_

"Hello..."  
"You look like shit. Are you okay?"

Why thank you, it only took four hours to get that mutt to break the dungeon for us.  
And for my trouble I got covered in slobber from head to toe, as thanks for having the great idea of offering my meat-groceries to a giant demon mutt.

"Yes..."  
"You took longer than normal... Did you get assaulted by the dogs at the park? You didn't buy the meat before going to the park, right? You know that never ends well, right?"

I knew, and while I had technically bought the meat before going to the park, everything should have been fine, because I had it in my inventory. Except that I got trapped by a Giant-Demon-Cerberus-Thing and only escaped after I gave it my food as sacrifice.

In the end it didn't matter, I went back and bought more meat. And soda. This time with my money.

My face must have said something I didn't because she sighed exasperated, and then started laughing.

"Go have a bath or something, I can cook today."  
"No, I will cook. After I bathe." I wanted to level up cooking. That would let me cook an item that could heal Hp and Mp. I could store it in the Inventory and see if they spoiled in there. Then hopefully this wouldn't happen again.

"Okay, definitely not complaining here".


	4. Chapter 3

**Third and last chapter I will be posting today. In the next one she will actually start her adventure in the world of Kuroshitsuji.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler. Ask Yana Toboso.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

 _'Steak. A fulfilling meal based on meat. Bland. Heals 10 Hp.'_  
 _'Steak. A fulfilling meal based on meat. Slightly flavored. Heals 12 Hp.'_  
 _'Steak. A fulfilling meal based on meat. Slightly seasoned. Heals 20 Hp.'_

 _'Your [Cooking] has leveled up by one.'_  
 _'Your [Cooking] has leveled up by one.'_

Hmm... I guess that should be enough for an emergency meal, right? I didn't want to make too much and let it spoil in my Inventory.

"Mhhm... this is delicious!"

Of course the better ones Kim and I ate for supper.  
"I almost don't mind you used all of our meat to make this."  
"I will go buy more... tomorrow."

I might have managed to wash the slobber out of my hair and skin, but the clothes were going directly to the washing machine.

Unfortunately, we had taken so long that Kala was too tired to go out one last time before going to sleep.

Sadly, that meant that I now needed to get up early to make sure she wasn't going to do her business inside the house.

Rolling out of bed wasn't my favorite activity before 10 AM.

In fact, my whole life was closely arranged so I wouldn't be forced to. I went to University in the afternoons, I ate breakfast when everyone was eating lunch, when it was around time for normal people to have a snack I was eating lunch, I skipped on snack and ate supper at the right time.

All of this so I wouldn't have to get up at seven or eight in the morning to eat breakfast.

So, to say that I was happy to get up at seven in the morning to walk my dog was an understatement. Especially when I had spent the night away reading to improve my wisdom.

 _'After sleeping in your bed you wake up with your HP and MP completely restored, all negative buffs removed'_

I zombied my way into the first clean clothes I found, took Kala's leash and walked out the door.

Of course then I had to walk right back in because I had forgotten the dog.

Kala was looking at me with big pleading eyes.  
"Yes... you're coming with me..."  
That was apparently all she needed as she got out of the house faster than my mind could process.

As we were walking I made sure I hadn't forgotten anything vital. Tofu? In the tool belt. Dog bags? In there too. Leash? In my hand.  
I blinked, in my hand?  
I looked at my hand and sure enough, there it was.  
I looked at Kala, sniffing a tree next to me.  
I was missing something.

Oh, the leash was supposed to be attached to her.  
My bad. I wasn't a morning person.  
In fact I tended to screw up badly when awoken before ten.  
Which was sad.

Now with Kala truly in a leash, I could keep going towards the park.

It wasn't like she would escape or something, she wouldn't, but people tended to get scared when they saw a dog bigger than a cat without a leash.

Kala stopped and looked around, I did the same, I don't know what she was looking for, but I didn't find it.  
Seeing this I attempted to keep going, only for all the sounds around us to disappear.

I immediately felt myself wake up more.

 _'You have been pulled into an empty instant dungeon'_

No.

No.

Nonono.

Now I knew why Kala had stopped, this was the place where she had played with her buddy 'the freaking demon horse dog'.

Kala you devil-

The dog was already here.

Unlike the last time, the demon was already where we were, and looked far less inclined to ignore us than before.

Had it purposefully pulled us in?

Kala all but begged to be let go to play with the thing.

I let her, I wasn't the one who would prevent her from bonding with the most likely cause of her death.

Actually, I was sort of hoping the Demon had pulled us in because it wanted to play, and once I offered Kala as a playing sacrifice, it would let us go. Preferably before another four hours passed.

Just hope it's not annoyed we're back.

Luckily it seemed far less apathetic. This time it actually chased Kala around (it didn't have to run much to catch up to her), and used its paws to push Kala around in a non-murder-y manner.

I sat and practiced Observe. That's the only thing I could practice without actually tearing my eyes away from the imminent danger upon my dog.

Who knew what kinds of horrible things could happen if I stopped looking for even a second.

They ran around and played like surprisingly normal dogs.

After a while playing, the thing turned up to me and started walking.

Towards me.

It was sniffing.

It was sniffing me.

Was it seeing if I smelled good enough to eat? Or...

"Inventory"

It started salivating, which made me worry. A lot. I hope it doesn't find me snack worthy.

I got out one of the steaks and prayed I wasn't about to dig my own grave.

Surprisingly the steak seemed to have been recently done, it was still warm and everything. Just like when I put it in the Inventory.

"Sit". Don't kill me, don't kill me, don't kill me. Please don't kill me.  
Kala came running and sat, her eyes on the prize. The demon was trying to get to the steak by pushing me away.  
I cut the steak in half (with my teeth, because I didn't have anything else) and gave one half to Kala. It was harder than it seemed, as I had a giant dog face in front of my very own face.

I looked at Biscuit.

Biscuit looked at Kala.

And sat.

I gave him the Steak.

Biscuit wagged its tail.

Now that it wasn't about to eat me whole... it was kind of cute.  
Its fur was very black and its eyes were very blue. A clear sky blue. I liked its eyes.  
And its fur.  
And... well, everything, really.

I petted both canines. Kala was appreciative, but seemed more interested in looking if the hand that was petting her had any meat in it.

Biscuit seemed to be having a great time.

"Ah, I need to go back, cutie, do you think you can let me go? I can come back to play tomorrow if you want." Yes, I baby talk to dogs.

I just hope it understands what I'm saying and lets me go.

Biscuit was wagging its tail. It didn't seem to really be able to understand anything beyond my tone of voice that implied it had done well.

It may be a demon or devil or monster, but it was a dog after all. Dogs don't talk. Or at least these don't.

Biscuit tried to pounce at me to play.

"No!" I don't want to play with a thing bigger than a car that could swing me around like a ragdoll.

The big dog immediately stopped, its eyes narrowed and the only thing I managed to do was get another steak and shout "Sit!"

Thankfully, It did and I gave it the steak. I petted it again.

Kala was meddling. She had wanted the steak too, and was getting jealous of all the attention her new buddy was getting.

I needed to escape.

"Escape ID"

 _'Failed to escape'_

I felt like crying. This was so unfair, I was terrified.

Biscuit seemed pretty happy with its reward. In fact it was so happy that he decided I deserved a reward myself.

And no, that reward wasn't letting me go.

It was licking me. Again.

Once again covered in dog saliva, Biscuit looked me up and down.

If I had to bet I would bet on it looking to see if I had more food.

Or considering if I was food myself.

Most likely the former, seeing as it gave me a bit of space afterwards. Or maybe it thought I wasn't that tasty.

Suddenly it turned around and licked Kala too.

I prayed that meant it was a goodbye, and it would let us go.

The world around us cracked and broke, and the world was full of sound once again.

Biscuit was gone.

Just like I did yesterday I wasn't about to look a gifted horse in the mouth.

I just hope it will not see me as a constant food source. I was starting to suspect it was already too late for that.

Seeing Kala all tired and panting I decided that our walk for today had been exciting enough and we could go back home.

Kala didn't seem to mind. She already did her business anyways.

I definitely didn't mind.

 _ **'Saving data.'**_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

"Hey, you're here early. And awake."

"Yeah, Kala played... with another… _dog_ she met yesterday. Now they seem like best buddies."

"That's good. You ate breakfast yet?"

No. But I was about to. Might as well eat like a normal person for today.

Going to the kitchen I fixed myself a bowl of milk and started pouring cereal.

"You know, I'm not gonna call you alien. At this point, after all that box thingy and ability stuff you're probably an actual baby alien stranded in our planet. Calling you out would be more of a praise than an insult."

Sigh.

Right then someone called at the house's phone. Lately that had been happening an awfully lot.

I picked up the phone, just like the other times, the line was silent. This time I wasn't going to take it.

"Do. Not. Dare. Hang. Up."

 _'Though performing an action, a new skill had been created [Intimidation]'_

The line was silent for a few more seconds.

Then someone started talking about selling me something.

I hanged up.

I felt awful. I had been so rude to someone I didn't even know. There was no way the other didn't hear, the new [Intimidation] Skill was proof enough that I scared witless some innocent woman that was only doing her job.

"I'm a monster."

Kim eyed me eating my breakfast. "Yes, yes you are."

At least I think no-one was going to keep calling to annoy us.

After washing the dishes I decided the best I could do was learn how to do that ID thing.

For starters I tried to do more or less the same as when destroying dungeons, but instead of saying "Escape ID" I said "Create ID".

To discover [Escape ID] had been surprisingly easy, I had merely imagined 'power' going through my hand to destroy the barrier around me.  
Creating was like doing the opposite. It was creating a barrier of sorts around me.  
Sadly I didn't have enough MP.

 _'A new skill has been created through performing an action [Create ID]'_  
 _'You do not have enough Mp to use [Create ID]'_

Great.

Thanks destiny, I really love it when you mess with me.

Not really.

How could I gain more Mp? Maybe by increasing my Wis and Int? It would be the obvious answer. One thing was sure: I wouldn't get more magic by leveling up Strength.

And how to do that? So far by reading books, thinking hard, making wise decisions... and probably leveling up.

To level up I needed to complete quests. Just like that grocery quest.

Conclusion: I needed more quests.

"Kim. Give me something to do."

"Eh? Don't you have a lot to do now? With that new power you have or whatever."

"Just give me something to do, a request, challenge..."

She smiled.

A Cheshire Cat smile.

Of course it wouldn't be a nice one.

"I challenge and request you to watch black butler with me!"

...

"No"

"Come on it was a request! Just like you asked!"

"Pick something else"

Sigh "Alright..." she thought hard for a while. "Can you do the laundry for me?"

I narrowed my eyes.

 **'Minor Quest alert! [Spring cleaning]**

 **Quest requisites:**  
 **-Wash the dishes**  
 **-Wash the laundry**  
 **-Clean the floor**

 **Optional:**  
 **-Clean the windows**  
 **-Dust the furniture**  
 **-Put order to your bookshelf.**

 **Quest Rewards:**  
 **-250 Exp**  
 **+20 Respect with Kim**  
 **Optional Quest Rewards:**  
 **+300 Exp**  
 **+50 Respect with Kim.  
** **Y/N'**

...

Sigh

"All right..."

 **'Quest Accepted!'**

"For real?!" She was way more excited than she should.

I was doing this only for the experience.

With a little luck, that experience will be enough to make me level up.

Just in case I would go the extra mile and do the optional quest.

Just in case

* * *

"You know, you're quite impressive when you get into 'working mode'"

I looked up from the book I had in my hands, about anatomy, I had been organizing from the bookshelf.

The bookshelf inside Kim's room.

I had saved it for last, as I had been considering reading it to see if I could level up my [First Aid] with this.

"Can I borrow this?"

"Sure, go ahead"

I heard a ring from the washing machine.

"The clothes are ready"

"Really? I didn't hear."

I turned around to see if she was being sarcastic and ultimately decided she wasn't.

Leaving the book in my inventory I picked up the dry clothes and put them on the table in the dining room.

I started ironing the clothes.

Kim was fascinated by the last chapter of Fairy Tail or Fairy Trail or whatever its name was.

 _'Minor Quest Completed!_  
 _Rewards:_  
 _-500 Exp_  
 _Optional Rewards:_  
 _-500 Exp'_

 _'Major Quest Update! Complete 2 Minor Quests'_

 _'Congratulations! You have leveled up by one!'_

 _'Congratulations! You have leveled up by one!'_

Yes! Finally, my first level! Well, my first two levels. Maybe this wasn't as hard as I thought.

Now I needed to have a look at my stats.

[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: None  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 5  
Exp: 21%  
Hp: 21 Hp  
Mp: 4 Mp

Strength: 1  
Vitality: 22 (2+20)  
Dexterity: 2 (2+0)  
Intelligence: 4  
Wisdom: 16  
Luck: 1

Points: 10

Huh. I'm very excited, finally I leveled up.  
16 wisdom? When did that happen? I know I stayed up late reading but... wao.

Where should I spend all these points I earned with the sweat of my brow?  
 _Literally_ won with the sweat of my brow. Cleaning wasn't easy.

Intelligence. I was having lots of problems with my low Mp. Seeing as I leveled wisdom a lot by reading, but the Mp barely changed, I probably need to level up Int to see any changes.

And becoming smarter was always a good thing. Except when it wasn't.

And... There they go... all my points... to Int. And hopefully Mp.

I should have put only one point into intelligence, see if my Mp changed and then decide if I wanted to put the rest of those points in another stat.

 _'Major Quest Update! Assign at least one point to any stat -Complete-'_

Wao, now I only needed to defeat 5 monsters to complete this major quest.

Except that those monsters could eat me easily as a snack. Like Biscuit.

They needed to be nerfed.

Let's see now...

[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: None  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 5  
Exp: 21%  
Hp: 21 Hp  
Mp: 17Mp

Strength: 1  
Vitality: 22 (2+20)  
Dexterity: 2 (2+0)  
Intelligence: 14  
Wisdom: 16  
Luck: 1

Points: 0

17Mp! This was way better than before! I need to level up again!  
Maybe it would be enough to create the dungeon?  
"Create ID!"  
 _'[Create ID] failed, not enough Mp'_

I definitely needed to level up again.

Kim seemed busy.

Could I give myself a quest?

Oh, now that I remember! I needed to buy more meat, as I used all of it when I cooked yesterday.

I could cook something else to replenish my stash of healing items. Afterwards I could go and buy everything I needed. Maybe even look around if there's anything worth purchasing that would restore Hp and/or Mp.

 _'Observe has leveled up by one'_  
 _'Observe had leveled up by one'_

I had found quite a few interesting things.  
Like that lemonade that restored 15Mp all the way. Or an apple that enhanced my Health Regeneration.

I had cooked some meals and stored them in my inventory.

As I returned home I saw the dreaded alert.

 **'You have encountered a Zombie Instant Dungeon. Do you want to enter?**  
 **Y/N'**

I was going to have nightmares with this, I swear.

But... this was different. I remember the other dungeon clearly saying "Empty Instant Dungeon", this one said "Zombie Instant Dungeon".

Don't tell me... the "empty" and "Zombie" are a type of dungeon, not the state of it. That meant that an empty dungeon doesn't have to be empty.

I felt stupid.

I wasn't going to enter.  
I wasn't stupid. Even if I felt like it.

I was weaponless. I was a pathetic wimp with almost zero chances of actually escaping if I entered.

On the other hand...  
Maybe Lady Luck would be generous and let me find an easy Dungeon with easy enemies I could get experience from.

Except for the small detail that Lady Luck hated my bones with a burning passion.

I looked around. I didn't see any store where I could buy a weapon. Even if said weapon was a bat.

Maybe in the supermarket...

But there's mostly food there.

If I'm lucky enough I will find a watermelon to open their heads up with.

I entered anyway.

Looking around I did see various objects I could use to bash my enemies' faces in.

Like a rolling pin.

Or a frying pan. Why didn't I think of it?

"Observe"

 _'Frying Pan. Last model, prevents the food from sticking into it. Very resilient. Can give a good hit._  
 _+10% to Cooking._

 _Damage: 12 Damage._  
 _Gives Status [Was that a frying pan?] to surrounding enemies which leaves them astonished and unable to attack. Reduced effect when used in a row'_

This was probably better than the pin, as it seemed to give a status effect.

I could even use it to cook.

If it survived my possibly suicidal adventure, of course.  
I'm going to regret this. I'm already regretting this.

This is a bad idea.

I don't want to do it.  
I need to do it.

 **'You have encountered a Zombie Instant Dungeon. Do you want to enter?**  
 **Y/N'**

Not really, but 'Yes'.

If the empty Dungeon could be described as 'silent' then the Zombie Dungeon could be best described as 'Dark'.

It was still the city, but it had suddenly become nightime, the moon was bright and red and I felt like fainting or dying. Or both.

Whatever relieved me from my own idiocy.

Why did I even need to level up anyway? I wasn't in any hurry. I could gain experience in other ways.

The Major Quest could go and die for all I cared, to kill 5 monsters, this was ridiculous.  
I couldn't do it.

A moan.

The Zombie dungeon hadn't been named for its flowers after all.

It looked human... or at least it closely resembled something humanoid. Its flesh was decaying and intdidn't smell or look very good.

It was covered in blood, and I really didn't want to find out why.

"Observe"

 _'Name: Bloody Zombie_  
 _Level: 2_  
 _Health: 1Hp_  
 _Mana: 0Mp_

 _Str: 4_  
 _Vit: 2_  
 _Dex: 1_  
 _Int: 1_  
 _Wis: 1_  
 _Luck: 1_

 _Blood covered zom-'_

I don't want to know where the blood comes from, thank you.

Alright, alright, I can do this.

This is far better than the Demon Dog.

I actually had a chance with this one.

I grabbed the frying pan like one would grab a baseball bat.

I let it come closer and, as the thing approached I took a swing.

 _'A new passive skill has been created [Mastery of Blunt Weapons]'_

Dead

 _'You have gained 150 Exp Points'_

 _'Major Quest Update! Defeat 1/5 monsters [any].'_

...

I don't even know what happened.

Alright let's put things in order: I let it approach, I hit it, and it disappeared like dust.

I looked at my frying pan with reverence.

All hail the frying pan.

This was... surprisingly easy...

It couldn't be that easy, right?  
That had to be a fluke.

I walked around until I saw another Zombie.

"Observe"

 _'Name: Crippled Zombie_  
 _Level: 2_  
 _Health: 1 Hp_  
 _Mana: 0Mp_

 _Str: 2_  
 _Vit: 2_  
 _Dex: 1_  
 _Int: 1_  
 _Wis: 1_  
 _Luck: 1_

 _A zombie that had its arm teared away. Probably by another zombie._  
 _Slow and not very strong, its rotten flesh seems to be about to fall apart.'_

1Hp?! Oh, well, this explains everything. For a moment there I thought I had become all powerful without knowing.

I feel almost bad for them. They seemed be having the same problem with Health I was having with my MP.

The zombie saw me, groaned and came... not running, but at a slightly faster pace.

I felt somewhat bad for them. Poor things.

Growl.

Hit.

 _'You have gained 150 Exp Points'_

 _'Major Quest Update! Defeat 2/5 monsters [any].'_

Well, maybe not, they were trying to kill me, after all.

I was far more confident now that I knew I could kill them with one hit.

I could get nice experience.

It gave less experience per monster than doing a minor Quest, but it also took far less time and effort than going through all the trouble of getting a quest and completing it.

I think it was way more productive to defeat zombies than to do Minor Quests.

"Graaaaah" another one.

It was somewhat hard to see them in this dark environment. Luckily, they weren't very smart, and made lots of noise.

 _'Name: BrainDead Zombie_  
 _Level: 4_  
 _Health: 1 Hp_  
 _Mana: 0Mp_

 _Str: 4_  
 _Vit: 1_  
 _Dex: 2_  
 _Int: 1_  
 _Wis: 1_  
 _Luck: 1_

 _This Zombie doesn't look like the smartest in the bunch. It only wants a hug.'_

Aww... it only wants some love...

Not mine, though.

They can hug each other.

Hit.

Miss.

"Eep!"

Hit.

 _'You have gained 250 Exp Points'_

 _'Congratulations! You have leveled up by one!'_

I tried to hit it a little too soon, luckily I could sneak another attack before the zombie reacted.

 _'Major Quest Update! Defeat 3/5 monsters [any].'_

I leveled up again! Monster killing was definitely the best way to level up.  
I was a feeling a little bad for the zombies.

Before I could have a look at my Stats another two Zombies came at me.  
Uh oh.

To fight two opponents was harder than a single one, as expected. Even if I could kill them in a single hit while I was distracted hitting one of them the other one didn't just wait patiently its turn, and decided to snack me.

It literally bit me. I didn't have time to even use Observe on them.

It took 2 Hp from me. And it did leave some ugly bite marks, but it was more of a nibble than anything. After some moments, the pain receded and I was feeling quite fine. It was vaguely uncomfortable, but not crippling.

Even if I still lacked a bit of health.  
They looked like little girls and came up to my chest. Even if I had the higher ground these things were like little devils, sneaking in attacks when I was about to hit them.

More importantly, I already hit them twice to the one on my right and once to the other one, and they were _still_ alive.

That meant that they had more health.

Which implied that they could very likely kick my ass.

I tried to keep my distance to use Observe.

 _'Name: Twin Zombiettes_  
 _Level: 3 & 3_  
 _Health: 2/4 & 3/4 Hp_

 _Mana: 0 & 0 MP_

 _Str: 1 & 1_  
 _Vit: 6 & 6_  
 _Dex: 3 & 2_  
 _Int: 1 & 1_  
 _Wis: 1 & 1_  
 _Luck: 3 & 4_

 _Two sisters that always go together. If one of them is killed the other one will go into a frenzy and attack anything in its sights until it dies or finds another single Twin Zombiette.'_

Great, they _did_ have more than 1 Hp.  
And apparently my frying pan only made 1 of damage.

And when I used Observe on one of them it immediately showed the information of both.

Does that mean that they are considered a single entity? But they have separated health bars. Will it give me twice the experience or just the amount for one of them?

And the Quest? Will it count it as one, or two?

I shouldn't distract myself so much during battle, as one of the sisters, the one on the left, decided it had gotten tired of waiting for me to make the next move.

That just meant I could hit her once more and jump away before the other sister got close enough to take advantage of that moment.

It seemed that its intelligence was really low, because when I once again failed to immediately attack again, the sister on the left tried to charge at me again.

Hit.

Jump away.

This really was rough on the legs.

Charge. This time from the right.

Hit.

Run.

The sisters looked barely human anymore. Chunks of their flesh flew with every hit I placed.

The sister on the right ran towards me.

The pan splattered against her head and, thankfully I was spared the rest of the gory vision as she became dust and disappeared, leaving some papers behind.

Was that money?

 _'You have gained 200 Exp Points'_

 _'Major Quest Update! Defeat 4/5 monsters [any].'  
_ Well, I guess they do give me separate experience.

The other sister roared and turned red, it grew sharp claws and started charging me, faster than ever before.

I didn't try my chances and simply kept my distance.  
I didn't want to get closer.  
Unlike the small cut I got from one of the sisters on my leg and the bite on my arm, any attack from her now will probably hurt very much.

I looked at the frying pan. I had been able to hit them when they were charging me before, as the frying pan gave me more reach than the sisters' bare hands.

But now, I didn't want to get close to the remaining sister. I wasn't sure how much Hp was she supposed to have, but I didn't want to miscalculate and get possibly wrecked.

I threw the flying pan.

 _'You have created a skill, [Throwing] through a continuous action.'_

The pan fell at the sister's feet.

At least, the zombie didn't even stop to consider grabbing it and getting an advantage over me, which was lucky on my side.

I went around the straight line that was the charge of the sister, to get to the position she had previously occupied and picked up my fallen weapon.

I threw the frying pan.  
The pan fell at the sister's feet.  
This was going to take a while.

* * *

As soon as I got home I felt my blood run cold.

"We need to talk"

I was in trouble. I didn't know why, but I was clearly in trouble.

"What about?" To say I was trembling was an understatement.

It wasn't rational. Kim had never given me reasons to make me afraid to talk to her, but the words she uttered, they were a promise that we were both going to hate this conversation.

'We have to talk'. It's not 'I want to talk to you', as in make small banter to starve off loneliness. It's not an 'I need to have a word with you' which would mean she had made an observation she wanted to share, and would imply that she would be doing all or most of the talking.

I wasn't even a 'we have to talk' as in, having a genuine imperious necessity to share an important piece of information which cannot be evaded, least we risk something important, be it a mission or a friendship.

'We need to talk' was like grabbing the worst of every other example and making a mish-mash of dread and tears.

It meant that while she would be doing most of the talking, because she had done something or reached a decision I probably wouldn't like, it was expected of me to somehow make an opinion of said decision in under ten minutes (the acceptable time to consider something before the other party jumped to conclusions) and express it in a calm and peaceful manner, least the conversation escalates into a full blown fight.

It was nerve wracking.

She took a deep breath. Unconsciously, I mimicked the action.

"You can sit"

Another red flag.

I did.

She braced herself, I did the same.

"I'm sorry for not believing you."

Eh? "Eh?"

"At first, I didn't believe you. I know you are not the type to pull pranks, but... I don't know I just... couldn't really believe it. So I might have made a bit of fun of you, but you didn't get it and, I know you can be a little bit dense, but you don't usually lie so I made you do that skill thing and I was like 'whaaat' and I..."

"Wait, wait, what?! You're talking too fast."

I didn't get half of what she said, after saying she made fun of me, she had started talking faster and faster, without breathing, almost. Scary.

She took another breath, calming herself down.

"I know you didn't notice, but sorry for making fun of you. And for not even giving you the benefit of the doubt, even though you're my friend, and I should have known better."

She had made fun of me? When?

"I... understand if you didn't believe about this power thing. I wouldn't have believed myself either... and... You made fun of me? I didn't notice, so it's alright."

"I know you didn't. All of that stuff about flying? You may not have noticed, but I that was sarcastic. That's why I was crying yesterday. And just because you're oblivious doesen't make it alright!"

It was? She hadn't looked sarcastic, more like excited or expectant. I was a horrible expression reader.

So that's what it was about. I feel horrible for making her cry.

"I'm sorry, I have been a pretty crappy friend."

"If you had wanted proof you could have just asked. I would have tried something like this." And I proceeded to open the Inventory and take out the frying pan.

She looked like a fish. Maybe she hadn't expected that? Or she had wanted me to reassure her that she wasn't a crappy friend! And she was surprised at how bad of a friend I was for not reassuring her.

"And you're not a crappy friend. You're the best one I have."

"Pff, I'm the only one you have"

True.

With Kaito dead, she was truly my only friend left.

Kaito.

He was dead.

Maybe we had lost contact a while ago, but we had been friends for so long, that I couldn't just stop considering him a friend.

Suddenly, Kim hugged me. For a moment I feared that she had somehow read my mind and knew what I was thinking.

"Thank you for not getting angry. You're a wonderful friend." Oh.  
No I wasn't. I was a horrible friend.

I awkwardly returned the embrace, even if it was uncomfortable, and patted her in the back.

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry." I wasn't sure what I was sorry about, but I was. Truly.

Maybe for being thinking about a dead friend when my living one needed my reassurance. Or for not knowing how to reassure her at all. Or for not being a good friend. or for making her cry. I had a lot of options to pick from.

Finally she released me. After another thanks, she got up and went to the kitchen. I heard her open the tea cabinet. Yes, I knew which cabinet she opened just by the sound it made when being opened.

I fiddled with my dirty shirt and finally took it out. I started to carefully fold it.

Kim returned with a cup of tea an unspecified amount of time later. I wasn't keeping track. "Alright, what else is in your mind that has you so depressed?"

"I'm fine." that was as good as admitting guilt, when it came to me. "What makes you think I'm not?"

"You're folding dirty clothes."

Yes, yes I was.

"And?"

"You only do that when you are so desperate for a distraction that you consider folding dirty clothes, that will go to the washing machine if not the trash can, an acceptable activity. And you do it like they were your baby or something."

I looked at the shirt. It was neatly folded, compacted into a rectangular shape. A few more folds than I usually bothered with.

"I just recently learned that someone I..." appreciated? Was friends with? Was very close to? "...used to play with when I was little, died."

"Oh, I'm sorry. My condolences."

I sighed.

Kaito had been the only one I could rely on, when I was little. I knew he didn't have any family, and he had a lot of problems. I knew that not all were fairies and roses in his life, but...

I had been avoiding thinking of this for so long that I felt stupid to be sad about this now, years later.

It was simple, really. I was a little friendless girl, he was a poor boy whose only friends were street dogs. We became friends, we played, we had fun, and then he left.  
He disappeared, just like that.

I took out Tofu, looking at it. I brought him closer to my chest.

Was I crying? I think I was.  
Tofu had been a gift. The last one he gave me.  
I didn't want to remember that.

Kim hugged me in an attempt to comfort me, but it wasn't working. If anything, it made me cry more.  
I pulled away.

I looked at Kim, she didn't know what to do.

"Hey... I completed a major quest"

She blinked. Then her eyes softened and humored me.

"Yeah? What was it?" She had recognized my poor attempt to change the conversation and graciously accepted it.

She offered me the tea in her hands. I declined.

"Something about learning the game mechanics or something. I had to defeat five monsters."

Kim blinked "monsters?" I nodded. Her eyebrows elevated up to her hairline.

"For real?" I nodded.

"There were Zombies and I defeated five of them. The hardest ones were two sisters. But, I got money from them, so it wasn't that bad."

The eyebrows had disappeared from sight. She was about to open her mouth, but instead closed it, and nodded.

"Then I was about to see if the first Zombies I defeated dropped something but I found a Zombie that was way out of my league. Luckily, I could escape without having to fight it."

In the end I had ran towards home as fast as I landed my eyes on that monster. I didn't even need to use Observe to know that thing was higher leveled than me.

I already noticed this, but it was very awkward to go around saying "Stats" every time I wanted to see my stats.

But I had already tried to think the command and it didn't work, when I tried to use Obser... no wait I hadn't. I tried to use Observe without seeing. Could I just think 'Stats' and have them appear?

 _'[Name]: Dalia_  
 _[Title]: None_  
 _[Race]: Human_  
 _Lvl 6_  
 _Exp: 93% (556 Exp)_  
 _Hp: 21 Hp_  
 _Mp: 17Mp_

 _Strength: 1_  
 _Vitality: 22 (2+20)_  
 _Dexterity: 2 (2+0)_  
 _Intelligence: 14_  
 _Wisdom: 16_  
 _Luck: 1_

 _Points: 5'_

Yes! I feel quite stupid, I should have tried this a long time ago, I just had thought I already tried, when I hadn't.

I should assign those points. I still couldn't create my own ID, but I also needed a bit in strength to kill those monsters, if I wanted to level up.  
Doing one damage wasn't very reliable. And my weapon was supposed to do 12 in Damage or something like that, so obviously, the wrong thing here was me.

On the other hand, I could potentially create Dungeons with new monsters to kill if I managed to use the damn Skill.  
And my luck... I swear half the fault of taking so long in hitting that last sister was my bad luck.

I will assign 4 points to strength, to be able to gain experience faster, and the last one I will put on luck.

On my next few levels I get, I will assign one on luck by every level and the rest on intelligence, until I have enough Mp to use the [ID create] skill.

Unless something unexpected happens. But hardly ever anything unexpected happens to me.

Except lately.

Lately everything unexpected happens to me.

Which would mean I just jinxed myself.

"Here, have this."

Eh?  
She was offering me a shirt. Not only any shirt, but a clean shirt.  
And not any clean shirt, but a special, black furisode with lotus patterns all over it.

I looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"I know you like it, I noticed how much you eyed it when I bought it, and I can't really be bothered to learn how to tie it. So you can keep it."

I stared.

And stared.

"And now you say: Thank you Kim! I love it. And I love you so much. And I will totally accept this gift you're giving me in an attempt to feel less guilty.  
And then I'll say: Why Thank you Dalia, I know I'm incredible, you don't have to sweet talk me. But please do keep going.  
And you: Oh, Kim! But it's true! You're an amazing friend and a beacon of hope and faith for everyone to see. You are the paragon of humility and selflessness.  
Now Me: Thank you, Thank you. I know I'm quite amazing."

Eh? Kim had started to fill in for my role in this conversation. I wasn't complaining, it was amusing how she fished praises from herself.

I put the furisode on.

It was supposed to be a dress, as it came up to my mid thighs, but there's no way I'm showing so much skin, so I kept my black pants underneath. It was very pretty.

I would be lying if I said I didn't like the cloth. It was breezy, but it could keep me warm enough even when the temperature started lowering. And it was very comfortable.  
I particularly liked its long sleeves. I could hide things in them and it was hardly noticeable.  
I moved Tofu to its new hiding place.

I wasn't about to refuse this. Even if I felt slightly ashamed of liking this so much.

"Just remember to clean this on hand.  
Don't even think about putting it in the washing machine.  
And now that it's yours, now it's your problem."

Kim didn't like washing very much, if it wasn't obvious. One of the reasons why this piece had fallen out of grace in Kim's eyes.

I could never understand how she could have things this pretty in her wardrobe, and never wear them.

The furisode was black, with lotus flowers all over it. It was tied with a red Obi.  
It wasn't that hard to figure out.  
Kim was just being lazy.

"Thanks Kim." I hugged her.

She gasped. "You initiated physical contact with me... the world must be ending, are you sick?"

Stupid.

I assigned the points to luck and strength, and with my new furisode on, I looked into the Quest menu.

 _'[Learning the ropes] -Completed-_  
 _Quest requisites:_  
 _-Open the Main Menu and learn everything you can. -Completed-_  
 _-Assign at least one point to any Stat. -Completed-_  
 _-Defeat 5 monsters [any] -Completed-_  
 _-Learn 3 new skills [any] -Completed-_  
 _-Level up a Skill at least once [any] -Completed-_  
 _-Complete 2 minor Quests [any] -Completed-_

 _Quest Rewards:_  
 _-Exit the tutorial_  
 _-1000$_  
 _-1000 Exp points_  
 _-Armor [Common]'_

Oh? There was a collect button.  
With the other, minor Quests, the Rewards has been given immediately upon completion of the Quest.

It seemed that Major Quests worked a bit differently.

I pressed collect.

 _'Congratulations! You have leveled up by one'_  
 _'Congratulations! You have leveled up by one.'_

 _'You received [Rib armor] (Common)'_

 _'You have gained 1000$'_

 _'You have Completed the tutorial, do you want to exit the tutorial?_  
 _Y/N'_

Wao, that was a lot of alerts.

I leveled up twice, I should put the points before I forget. After I read the rest of the alerts.

Rib armor? What is that? It sounds stupid. I hope its creator didn't break a brain cell trying to come up with a name.  
At least it sounds like it will protect my ribs.

I gained a fair amount of money, although it was harder than expected. I think I deserved every dollar I got.

Eh?

EH?

Tutorial? Exit?

Does that mean I have been in a 'tutorial' of sorts?

But... nothing changed since I got the ability, I don't get it.

How can I exit something I have never entered?

Is this a bug? Did the game break or something?

What would happen if I said I wanted to leave? Would reality break like the Dungeons did, and find an exact copy of my actual world?

But then... how was Kim in here?  
Was this even my friend?

...

For how long have we been living together? I couldn't remember.

Why were we living together?

I was getting scared. Very, very scared. No, this was stupid, Kim wasn't acting strange at all, she was the same as always, I was the one who's world had turned upside down.

...

Then why did all of Kim's things smell of new?

I looked at Kim sideways.

I was becoming paranoid, stop, this is unreasonable.

I breathed in.

I kept looking at Kim.

I looked at Kala.

Kala! And her? Was she even Kala-Kala? _My_ Kala?

Was everything a copy of the world I knew? Had I been living in an Instant Dungeon for the last few days?!

Suddenly I became calm.  
The gamer's mind.

I didn't know if this is really an Instant Dungeon.  
For all I know the 'tutorial' was actually not a place. Or maybe it was, and it meant this was saying I should go somewhere else.

Maybe it was a series of Quests and I was understanding this wrong.  
Maybe it was offering me to start a series of Quests?  
No. It very clearly asked if I wanted 'to exit the tutorial'

Maybe I was currently being aided by this 'tutorial' in a way I didn't know, yet. And was asking if I was confident enough in my knowledge of the game to retire that help.  
But then why use the word 'exit' instead of 'finish'?

I was going to give myself brain damage before I found out.  
The only way to know for sure would be by accepting to exit the tutorial.

I looked at Kim.

I still was slightly suspicious. Things were not adding up.

"I'm sorry."

Kim had been apologizing not even thirty minutes ago for not believing me.

Now I was suspicious of her.

Irony at its finest.

"Mmh?"

What should I do?

Now everything I knew was suspicious of being an illusion.

Could I say 'No', and keep living like this?  
Without ever knowing if I was living a lie?

Could I say 'yes', and possibly lose everything I have ever known?

I didn't know.

But there was a way to find out.

I would exit the tutorial, and depending of what happened, I would either come back here, or stay there.

Of course, the only option that would allow me to stay there was if all of this was a Dungeon, and I had been living a lie.

Any other outcome and I would be back here faster than I can blink.

I needed to prepare myself.  
This would not take much time, but I wanted to be prepared.  
I always felt safer when I was prepared.

I didn't even know if anything I took from this possibly-illusion would carry over to the "Outside of the tutorial", but this was more to calm me down than anything else.  
I put some food in my inventory.

What else?

My newest pajama set. It was very warm. And it had cute little sheep.

I wasn't planning on staying overnight but it could still prove useful. Somehow.

Anything else? Tofu was already with me... I went to my room to see if there was anything else I should take.  
A toothbrush, Hairbrush, and womanly necessities.  
Should I take the phone? Obviously.

If I ended up who-knows-where, the phone would be a reliable way to call Kim to assure her I hadn't been kidnaped.

I don't think I was forgetting anything. Was I?

I should totally warn Kim.  
I should.

If this turned out to be an illusion it wouldn't matter if I told her. If I was transported to the Antarctica or something, it would be nice to have someone that knew.  
It was a win-win situation to be sincere and tell her.

Of course I wouldn't tell her my suspicions that she was fake, but at least give her the bare bones.

"Kim."

She made a sound of acknowledgment, and kept sipping her tea.

I took a long breath.

How was I supposed to explain this?

"I got an alert telling me I can exit a tutorial of sorts."

"Yeah? That's nice. I guess you aren't as bad a player as you made yourself to be."  
That's it? I mean, that's all the information I truly know that is reliable.

I guess that is it.

I didn't like to lie, but this wasn't lying.  
But she wasn't getting the possible implications of this.

And I was taking advantage of that.

Was I overthinking this?  
Sometimes I tended to overthink things.

I guess it's good that I didn't bother Kim with farfetched possible outcomes.

"I guess"

Things wouldn't change.  
Then I would keep silent about my stupid fears, and I would feel good, because not only I hadn't gone anywhere, but I also avoided unnecessarily worrying my friend.

I pressed 'Yes'.

The world went black.

Remember that time when I said that nothing unexpected ever happened to me?

I think I really did jinx myself.


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler. The honor goes to Yana Toboso.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Everything was black.

Then it was not.

Suddenly there was light.

Then, sound came.

I wasn't sure what to expect when everything went black, but I definitely wasn't expecting a train.  
I was in a train station of sorts, with lots of people climbing down from the big machine.

Where was I? And what happened to Kim?  
Was I supposed to take the train?

I didn't have any ticket, so I wasn't getting in.

I walked away from the railway.

'Great Western Railway'. That didn't ring any bell.  
I was still in a city. Just not MY city.

I walked aimlessly, trying not to walk in circles. Which was very hard, considering I could get lost faster than I could spell my name.

The streets were... very fancy.  
The houses were made with red brick in very pretty patterns, with bay windows made of stained glass. Slated roofs topped with chimneys.

All in all it had an old time feel to it.

Everything was very pretty, and I would have loved to live in a house like one of those... except for the small detail that I was lost, and only wanted to go back home.

And the smell.

Goodness gracious, the smell was horrible.  
I wasn't even going to attempt to describe it. But I had to say, it smelled like the whole street had been covered in dung.  
Perhaps the whole city.

I walked, and walked and walked without destination.

I was _really_ lost.

As I walked I saw women in elegant dresses, carriages pulled by horses and very dapper gentlemen walking the streets.

Some were looking at me with confusion in their eyes.

I felt self-conscious. I knew it wasn't very usual to go around wearing a furisode, but surely in an advanced society like the one we were in, people usually ignored or looked at people that dressed strange.  
These people were outright avoiding me.

I think I walked past a canal at some point, but as I saw the railway terminal I had started in, I realized I was just walking in circles, made a 180 degree turn and walked the opposite direction.

Women wore all very similar looking dresses, with small variations, like the color of the dress, the hat, and type of parasol.

And the parasol! It was a little thing! What purpose could carrying that around accomplish?

Everyone I came across seemed dressed like out of a movie, but I saw no cameras around.

Was there a convention of sorts?  
Like, a convention where you have to dress like people from two hundred years ago, to remind you of your roots or something.

I didn't know.

And I was getting increasingly worried.

What had happened to Kim?  
Had she been astounded that I disappeared in front of her very eyes?

Had she arrived at the same conclusion I had?

Was she an illusion after all, and I didn't realize? While the real Kim was out there, wondering where I was?

And Kala?! Who would take care of Kala? I could hardly trust Kim to take care of her own cat, much less of my dog.

Today was definitely not my day.

First I was pulled into a Dungeon by a bully-Demon-Dog that wanted to eat my food.  
First thing in the morning. That should have warned me that today would be an awful day.

Then I acted as a stupid fool and landed myself in a place where Zombies crawled out of the earth like cockroaches.  
Then I had an awkward conversation my roommate, thought about a dead friend, depressing myself in the process, and became paranoid about the possibility of said roommate being a fake.

All of this before dinner.

Speaking of which, I was starting to get hungry.

Another thing to add to the list of 'bad things that happened today'.

If this continues this day would make it into the top twenty of the worst days of my life

I had a lot of those.

Oh. I felt just about ready to cry.

The fact that I cried not that long ago, when I thought of Kaito didn't help any.  
In fact it made me more sensitive to the dreaded waterworks.

Horses with carriages making their way through the street made it hard to walk across.  
And there didn't seem to be any determined time to pass, no street lights, nothing.

People simply made their way between carriages with practiced expertise.

Not only horses were used to pull carriages, I also saw a cute donkey or mule leading one of the less ostentatious carriages. It looked more like a sprung cart than a carriage.

I was pretty sure it was a donkey.

The cart went right past me and I could see it walking away in the direction I was going in.

I liked the donkey, it was a very pretty, chocolate brown colored doneky.

The cart, that was just now out of my eyesight, stood out in a way that still fit in with the rest of the carriages, and only was different in the sense that, while other carriages seemed to be made to inspire awe in the onlookers, this one was made with a purpose, and lacked the overbearing decorations of the others.

Extravagant carriages pulled by strong-looking horses everywhere I looked.

Some horses were carefully matched, while others were mismatched, others only had one horse.  
Some carriages had two wheels, others had four.  
Some carriages had a cover to protect its riders from the weather, others had no such protection, while others had a retractable cover.

High or low, made of wood, cloth or metal.

It was dizzying.

I walked and walked, no destination in mind.

I didn't know what to do anymore.  
I had planned to go back as soon as I made sure I hadn't been living in a Dungeon, but I had completely forgotten to plan how exactly would I go back.

Leave it to me to forget such an important and obvious detail.

I needed something to do.  
At this point anything was game, to calm myself down.

Didn't I get another level?

Maybe if I got my luck up I could stumble my way into somehow returning home.

As unlikely as that was.

By this point I was so lost, I don't think I could go back to where I originally started even if I wanted.

I sighed.

I stopped in front of a church, out of the way of everyone, and got out my Stats.

'[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: None  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 8  
Exp: 7% (56 Exp)  
Hp: 21 Hp  
Mp: 13Mp

Strength: 5  
Vitality: 22 (2+20)  
Dexterity: 2 (2+0)  
Intelligence: 14  
Wisdom: 16  
Luck: 2

Points: 10'

I did say that I would try to improve my luck by at least one point per level, and the rest of my points I would put in Int, but of course, that was before I somehow got myself in...

Seventeenth century Europe?

Something like that. I don't think Europe existed in this time.

Maybe.

Instead of spending my poi-... no, I would still need my Int, I hadn't forgotten about the ID create skill, it could still be useful, in another way.

The plan was still the same, spend points in Intelligence and one on luck until I was able to create my own dungeon.  
And unless there was someone like me, that could enter my dungeon, that would serve as a base of sorts. I could sleep there without fear of being mugged.

Yes, that was a plan.

Two points to luck... eight to Intelligence.

Now these were my stats:

'[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: None  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 8  
Exp: 7% (56 Exp)  
Hp: 21 Hp  
Mp: 33Mp

Strength: 5  
Vitality: 22 (2+20)  
Dexterity: 2 (2+0)  
Intelligence: 22  
Wisdom: 16  
Luck: 4

Points: 0'

33Mp! That was good, now I could surely create my own dungeon!  
'ID Create'

 _'Not enough Mp to use [ID Create].'_

 _'[ID Create] has leveled up by one.'_

Alright it had leveled up, even when I couldn't cast it.  
That means I can still TRY to level it up, and pray it costs less now.

'Not enough Mp to use [ID Create].'

You're joking.

Alright, I'm starting to think I got a very hardcore skill a little bit too soon.

Its fine, that just means I'm a little lower leveled that I should be.

But that's never a good thing.

In games, when a newbie enters a high leveled zone, it gets completely wrecked.

I want to go homeeee...

Alright, relax, calm down. That just means I have a very important skill. It will probably be very useful later, and because of that it takes a lot of Mp.

I blinked.

Did I?

I had chanced a glance up, and for a moment I thought I saw Kaito.

But that's impossible.

I walked away from the church.

Where had I seen it?

Had I hallucinated?  
Yes, I think I'm so scared and confused that my mind conjured the image of my long dead friend to give me a sense of security.

I fished Tofu from my robes. At least I had Tofu.  
And once I got back and profusely apologized to Kim, I would have her too. Even if she decided that I was a horrible friend and dumped me, at least I would still have a chance to beg for forgiveness.

It wasn't my fault that the game had plucked me out of my home and dumped me in this movie-like place.  
But I should have told her my concerns.

Returning to my original place by the church I got out my Stats.

Now... how would I keep leveling? I had no-one to ask Quests from, and the chance of me finding a Dungeon with monsters I could actually kill, was so slim that it might as well be nonexistent.

I was doomed.  
Dead.  
I was a walking corpse, I just didn't know it until now.

I was so horribly lost that it wasn't funny, I didn't know how to get home, I couldn't contact Ki-...  
The phone!

I took it out and dialed.

Nothing.

Was this even working?  
Yes it was.  
Strange.

It's like I had no signal.

I sighed. Of course that would be too good for me.  
I put the phone in my inventory.

Might as well keep trying to level up [ID create].

'ID Create, IDCreate, IDCreateIDCreateIDCreate'

Sigh.

I feel like I'm somehow cheating…

Hey, was that a donkey?

At the other side of the church I was in there was a very cute donkey, tied to a cart of sorts.  
After a second I recognized the donkey as the one that caught my attention a while ago, when I was lost in the streets.

My, it was a gorgeous donkey.

I was a sucker for cute animals.

I approached the animal and petted it.

I blushed. So cute.  
It was a terribly handsome donkey. In a non-romantic sense, of course.  
Its fur was a shining chocolate brown, and I absolutely adored the pattern it had on its nuzzle, typical in donkeys.

I adored the large majority of mammals.  
Donkeys, horses and mules were not exempt.  
Cats were. But only if I lived with them. Especially if they were named Cat.

It was a very well-mannered creature, as it accepted my gushing and swooning with a stoic facade.

It closed its eyes and let me scratch it between its eyes.  
So cute.

I think I was on the verge of having a cuteness overload.

Fortunately someone stopped me from fainting from sheer cuteness.  
Unfortunately it was its owner.

"Hi Hi Hi. Having fun?"  
I froze and felt my blood run cold.

I didn't even need to pray that they hadn't seen anything, from their amused voice I already knew they had seen everything.

And I hadn't seen them because they were right behind me.

A shiver went up my spine, not only from the knowledge that I had someone behind me I hadn't been aware of, but also because the voice that just spoke had a raspy, creepy drawl that made me want to crawl under my bed and never get out.

I slowly turned, ready to bolt out of there.

Until I saw Kaito.

I opened my mouth and gaped.  
I closed it.

No it wasn't Kaito... I think.

He had part of his face obscured by his bangs. A big, extravagant, black hat rested on his hair.

Hi long, white-silvery hair.  
Just like Kaito.

His tall body was covered in black robes, but I could easily imagine him with a tall, lanky body.  
Just like Kaito.

He had a pointy chin, maybe not as pronounced as Kaito's but enough to drive the point home.

I did not know if his eyes would be brown, like Kaito's, but I could already imagine them in that color.  
Kaito had always liked to hide his eyes too, maybe not as much as this stranger, but…

Because this was a complete stranger. He might have stolen my friend's face... and body, but this man clearly didn't know me.  
And I didn't know him.

And I had been staring at him like he was a ghost for at least ten minutes.

Gosh, I just kept digging my own grave deeper and deeper.

"Sorry." I looked at the ground.  
I don't think I could keep staring at my dead friend's face for much longer.

Suddenly I wished this stranger wouldn't hide their face, that way I could clearly see that this wasn't Kaito, I could move on. Instead I felt nauseated every time I looked up, as I imagined Kaito's stern face on top of this stranger's cheery one.

"Oh, not to worry, dear, I don't think he minds, in fact he seemed to enjoy the treatment very much~"

His laugh gave me the creeps.  
But I welcomed it. It was a distinction from Kaito. And at this point I would welcome any difference between the two.

I really didn't know what to answer to that, so I didn't.

Awkward silence.

I began squirming.

He smiled and chuckled.  
The bastard was enjoying my misery.

"Huh... sorry for disturbing..." I pointed at the donkey with an open hand, and them I brought that hand to point at the strange man in black. "And... huh... sorry."

I took two steps in any direction, it's not like I had anywhere to be, I was just fleeing.

I looked back at the donkey, then at its supposed owner. It wasn't worth it, going back to say goodbye to the animal.

Then I ran.

Anywhere was fine.

I ran and ran until I was even more lost than before, if that was possible, until I was so tired and hungry I couldn't keep running.

I swear I was still hearing his laugh, in the distance.

An alleyway.  
I took refuge there.

I needed that Dungeon now.  
It was the safest bet I had.

I needed a place to freak out in relative peace.

"ID Create!"  
I spent a good three minutes repeating the skill, only stopping to take a breath to keep going, before I leveled up again.  
Please let that be enough.

Just now I remembered that I could just think the order, instead of vomiting a string of 'IDCreate'.

I think the universe took pity on me, because I managed to create a Dungeon.

An empty dungeon. Which suited me just fine.

I welcomed the unsettling silence, as now that meant I was safe.

Kaito...  
Why does he keep haunting me?  
He was the one who left. Then why was he coming back again and again?

Was I really such a bad friend that he would dedicate the rest of his afterlife to haunt me?  
I felt my eyes watering, but no tears came out.

I took a breath.

I was so tired. Emotionally tired, physically tired. I felt I had gone through so much.  
And it wasn't midday yet.  
I was hungry, tired and emotionally drained.

"Inventory"  
I took out some bread I put there before leaving and ate. Just bread, I was hungry, but at the same time I felt too tired to eat. At least now I could wallow in despair with a fuller stomach.

I tried to sleep.  
There in the middle of an alleyway inside a Dungeon.  
At least, I think I know now, how Biscuit had felt when we entered its Dungeon for the first time.  
Or at least right before it, as no one had bothered me inside the Dungeon yet.

I needed to sleep. I was so tired...

* * *

 _'You have slept on the hard floor. Hp and Mp halfway restored.'_

Sigh.

Of course my Mp and Hp would only be restored halfway, I had slept in an alleyway. Even if it was a Dungeon it was still hard and cold. Very cold.

I walked outside the alley.  
Everything was empty.

Of course, I still was inside my empty Dungeon.

"Escape ID"  
Luckily it didn't cost me Mp to escape, as this was my ID.

 _'[ID Escape] has leveled up by one.'_

It was almost nighttime.

Really?

Sigh.

I was NOT about to walk anywhere in an unknown location, when it was so dark.  
Who knows what monsters crawl in the shadows.

Could I create another ID? Aside from the empty one?

How could I know?  
"Happy place ID? Err... create."  
Nothing.

Maybe I couldn't create other ID. Or maybe this one didn't exist. Which was most likely. It would be too good to have a place full of happiness and peace. Let's just throw anguish and sorrow!

Or… maybe I could look at the skills and see if I had any hint there, like a normal, rational human being of an average intelligence.  
Very smart Dalia.

Sometimes I think I was dropped on my head as a baby.

Let's see...  
Here it was. Create ID.

 _'[ID Create]: Level 2_  
 _Types of dungeons:_  
 _-Create Empty ID._  
 _-Create Zombie ID._  
 _Cost: 30 Mp'_

Thirty Mp! That's almost all the Mp I have. And that's after leveling the skill up twice.

But I could create a Zombie ID.

"Create... Zombie ID"

I just hope I don't come across another of these super-Zombies.

The world around me got into full midnight, the moon became a visible red eye, shining from above, and the only sound that I could hear were those belonging to the Zombies.

I was ready to get a few more levels.

At this point it was my best bet to survive in this unknown place.

Unlike the last time I didn't wait for the Zombies to decide to attack me and instead picked my target.

A bloody Zombie that was trying to munch on a lamppost.  
As soon as I got close enough it seemed to sense me and turned, ready to make me a nice side-dish for his mouthful of lamppost.

Needless to say that I swung my frying pan as soon as it turned its head.

 _'You have gained 150 exp Points.'_

I turned my attention to the nearest Zombie, who had turned to look when I smashed its friend's face in.

"I'm really sorry."

 _'You have gained 150 exp Points'_

I let out a long breath.

I didn't like it, but I needed to level up.  
At least they didn't seem conscious, in a way that allowed them to think farther than: 'eat this tasty lamppost, eat this tasty fleshbag.'

That did help a little with my guilty conscience.

It helped that they looked more like walking piles of rotten flesh than actual humans.

 _'You have gained 150 exp points.'_

Most of them seemed to give 150 experience points. What decided how many points I got?  
The two sisters gave me more experience.

I don't quite remember how much, but it was more than usual.

I looked around.  
I didn't see any sisters.

I walked away from the alley and well into the middle of the street.

Now I didn't have to worry about horses trampling me.

At the very end of the street I was in was a Zombie the size of two normal Zombies.  
That was the one I encountered last time.

Using Observe on it could prove useful if I managed to get some information.

Name: Legion Zombie  
Level: 8  
Health: 35 Hp  
Mana: 0Mp

Str: 14  
Vit: 18  
Dex: 3  
Int: 1  
Wis: 3  
Luck: 1

35Hp? I'm staying as far away from that thing as I'm able.

And its Level is only 8, I don't remember how much Health Points Biscuit had, but they clearly could snack it without batting an eye.  
I shuddered. I really had dodged a bullet there.

I walked in the opposite end of the street.  
As far away from the monster as possible, defeating any Zombie that targeted me.

 _'You have gained 150 exp points.'_

 _'You have gained 150 exp points.'_

 _'You have gained 150 exp points.'_

 _'Congratulations! Your level has increased by one.'_

 _'You have gained 150 exp points.'_

 _'You have gained 150 exp points.'_

Which were a lot.

Oh, I see a pair of sisters.  
I could use them to see how much damage I made now.  
I only made 1Hp before.  
Surely I would now do more damage than before.

I made sure to catch their attention and waited for them to attack.  
They did.  
I dodged one and hit the other.

I made 2Hp of Damage.  
Well, it was improvement.

 _'[Mastery of Blunt Weapons] has leveled up by one.'_

Oh?

Charge.  
Dodge.  
Fail to dodge and trip with my own feet.  
Miraculously avoid the swipe by falling to the ground.  
Run.

One sister pursued. The one I hadn't hit.  
Yet.

 _'You have gained 250 exp points.'_

Did I just one shot a sister? That's at least 4 Hp of damage! Just by increasing the Mastery skill?

I know what I would be doing from now on.

The other sister roared as soon as it realized I had obliterated its sibling.

I didn't let it finish.

 _'You have gained 250 exp points.'_

 _'Congratulations! Your level has increased by one.'_

I picked up the money.

Alright, I need a breather.  
They were easy, and I could kill them with a single hit, but I wasn't the most athletic person around and needed five minutes to rest and look at my Stats.

'[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: None  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 10  
Exp: 0% (6 Exp)  
Hp: 20/21 Hp  
Mp: 3/33Mp

Strength: 5  
Vitality: 22 (2+20)  
Dexterity: 2 (2+0)  
Intelligence: 22  
Wisdom: 16  
Luck: 4

Points: 10'

Alright change of plans, I needed to improve my Dex.  
My face hurts from when I fell. And my nonexistent pride is agonizing somewhere in the back of my mind.  
That single Hp I'm missing... it's from the fall, and my broken pride, I'm sure.

Not happening again.

3 points go to Dex. That would leave the round number of 5. I liked round numbers.

Now, the rest of my points... at least two go to luck. Which I'm sure was the responsable for letting me avoid that swing when I fell.

One second thought, I think all of my other seven points will go to luck.

But I do like round numbers... six points to luck, which would leave me with 10 luck and one to Int, that would make 18 in Intelligence.

I will wallow about my stupidity later.

Now...  
"Escape ID"

I jolted.

I wasn't in the alley.

I was in at the end of the street, where I defeated the sisters.  
I had moved outside the dungeon the same amount as I had moved inside it.

I was basically teleporting.  
Well, that explains why I went through so much trouble to be able to use the skill.  
It was good to know that all of those points in Intelligence were not going to waste.

I dodged a carriage that almost ran me over and went into another alleyway.

Even in the middle of the night I still manage to get almost run over by possibly the only carriage out at this hour.

I stared at the fancy, black, four wheeled carriage riding away.

"Create empty ID"

A soundless copy of the world I was in, snapped into place.

I wasn't sleepy, surprisingly.  
Well, not really surprising, I had fallen asleep a while ago.

It was getting could. Didn't I have a blanket or something?  
Inventory.

I had the frying pan stored there. Along with my pajamas, brush, toothbrush, toothpaste, Kim's pads, a book and an ungodly amount of food.

When had I stored so much food?  
I think I vagely remember cooking extra food to put it in my inventory, I don't know if that was this morning, yesterday or two days ago. Or all of them, which would explain the excessive amount.  
Seems like a lifetime ago.

I ate a decent meal this time, I felt refreshed after my nap, and I only ate breakfast and a little bread during the whole day.  
I think I deserved my prize.

I didn't have a blanket. But my pajamas were very warm. But it felt wrong to go around in pajamas.  
And the book?  
I don't remember storing a book before leaving.

An anatomy book.

Oh, I think I remember.  
I asked Kim to let me borrow her book, to see if I could level up first aid.  
Might as well try now.

I spent the rest of the night reading, in an alleyway, with my pajamas acting as a blanket.

Morning came.

 _'You have slept on the hard floor. Hp and Mp halfway restored.'_

Eh? Did I fall asleep? I must have, but I don't remember exactly when.

Yawn.  
I'm halfway through the book, and while I did level up [First Aid] twice, it only happened after I expressively began thinking on how to apply what I was reading to first aid.

On the upside I got +2 in Wis.

I got out of the ID.

Seems that whatever-this-place's-name-is it awakes pretty early.

Or at least earlier than me. Which was not that hard, now that I think about it.

And so, I walked.  
And I walked. Trying to find anything that would clue me to where I was.

I found a square. Or two. Or one and a half.  
It was a big square park of sorts, next to it was another, semicircular park.

I had been going through the alleyways I found, but of course if I wanted to find out more about where I was, I would need to go through the principal streets.

No matter how weirdly people looked at me.

There was another bigger street going through the semicircular park, but I could also go through the still big enough street I had been following.  
I needed to find out where I was.  
I walked though the bigger street. A roundabout.

I didn't have any preference, going right, left or straight ahead.

Let's go left, where nothing is right.

I walked more. I think I have walked more since I got here than my whole life put together.  
I saw kids entering a school. Or a church?  
It couldn't be both, right?

A Christian school? Maybe I was, indeed, somewhere in Europe after all. Or what would become Europe.

I kept walking.

As I walked the smell got worse.

A post office.  
Another roundabout.  
Straight ahead.

I got to a crossroads.  
Left or right?

Well, I did go left before…  
Let's go right, where there's nothing left.

Bad choice. Barely as I started walking I got to another roundabout.

But nearby seemed to be a bigger church...  
A... what was the name... cathedral? Yes that.  
It looked more like a cathedral. Not that I had been in one before.

Alright, this is frustrating, I don't even know what exactly I am looking for.

This I ridiculous, I should get over it and ask someone.  
That would be nice, if anyone I got close to didn't immediately turn around and walked in the opposite direction, whispering among themselves.

I gave up entirely and walked without direction.

I turned right and my mouth fell open.

I was stupid.

I wasn't a particularly savvy, or historically knowledgeable person, but even a half brained idiot would get that when there's a bridge, and near it it's written 'London Bridge' you are not exactly in Kansas.

Never mind the fact that this bridge didn't look like the London Bridge I had seen on TV.

I was in London.

What the fuck was I doing in London?

I took a deep breath. And walked away from the bridge.

...

Good things, I was in London.  
I knew where I was, so I just needed to learn why everyone has been wearing clothes from a century ago for two whole days straight.

Bad things, I was in London.  
I didn't understand how I got here, and because of that I could not ignore the possibility that I may have been somehow thrown into the past.  
Which spelled doom for my poor life.

I hadn't even considered the possibility I wouldn't be in my own time. That would explain why everyone was looking at me like I just got out of the circus.

I can feel a headache coming up.

It's not even about wearing Japanese clothes, but I was also wearing pants. Pants!  
In a Who-knows-how-much-time-ago society where. Every. Woman. Is. wearing. A freaking. Dress.

Alright deep breaths.

I took refuge in one of the alleyways I found.  
There were a lot of alleys here.  
At least that meant I could take some time away from the bustle of horses, people and carriages that were more present in the main, bigger streets.

"Excuse me, young lady."

Ahhhh!

My heart. My poor heart. I think it stopped working.

I breathed in, by this point ignoring the awful smell, and warily turned around.

It was an elderly woman, with a sobbing child under her arm.  
"Would you be able to help us, please? I'm afraid that some unruly boys stole this poor girl's flower, a pink carnation, that her mother gave her. Could you go down this street and buy one from the flower shop there?"  
Even before she had finished speaking I was already nodding my head in acceptance.

 **'New Minor Quest! [A mother's flower]**

 **Quest Requisites:**

 **-Get a pink Carnation for the crying girl.**  
 **-Optional: Get another flower for the old lady.**

 **Quest Rewards:**  
 **-Increased Friendship with Mrs Durland.**  
 **-Increased Respect with ?**  
 **-144 Exp Points.**

 **Optional Quest Reward: Quest [?]'**  
 **Quest accepted.**

"Yes, of course."  
Oh? This was made into a quest. And it was automatically accepted. Not like I would refuse.

I didn't expect the lady to especially approach me.

Well, I was the only one around here.

"Don't worry, I will get you a flower.  
It's down this street, right?"  
The woman gave an appreciative nod.

I went down that street.  
Only then did I consider that it could be a trap, or a scam.  
But… that poor child had been crying.

I had to believe this wasn't a scam.

I found the flower shop, among scattered shops here and there. I entered.

There were flowers everywhere.  
I was surprisingly well-equipped.  
It had lots of flowers I didn't recognize. Not like I was especially flower-savy.

"Hello, hello, what can I help you with~? Are you perhaps looking for a flower to give to a lover? I have some lovely roses you can give.

Or are you perhaps looking for a flower bouquet to put in a relative's tombstone?

Are you looking for a flower to wear to a funeral? I have some here that will go just perfect with whatever you need to wear.  
Or perhaps-..."

I put my hands up, to try to interrupt her without talking over her.  
Thankfully she stopped and listened politely.

"Eh... there was a girl outside... and huh... she... well I need a pink carnation for her...  
If it's possible, please."

The woman blinked.  
"Why of course, well, you didn't tell me you were making a good deed, in that case I will think of making you a discount. How about it, heh?" She tried to give me a knowing smile and a blink.  
I found it terribly awkward.

"You know, most of my customers come here to buy flowers for their dead, but that's to be expected, that's what one gets when one has a flower shop near a funeral parlor, but I can't complain, as the owner of the parlor stops here to buy flowers for the ceremonies. At least that gives me a constant amount of money, as long as he has business, I have business, and the dead don't stop dying, so he always has business.  
At least it's nice to have someone ask for something as light hearted as a pink carnation. I don't have many of them, but I do keep some just in case. What kind of flower shop would I run if I didn't have a little of everything?"

I was dizzy. She talked way too much. Did she even stop to breath? She didn't stop smiling even as she talked, it was unsettling.

Now I was reluctant to ask for a proper flower for the lady.  
To complete the optional quest. And because that woman was very nice.

"Excuse me, what flower would be appropriate to- ah... show... thankfulness? Because there is a lady now with the child and... I want to thank her."

From the diatribe she spewed out of her mouth I got that she would get me a field lily... or lilac. Field Lilac.

I was about to pay when I realized that I didn't have money with me.  
Well, I did have money, but it was in dollars, I needed ... pounds?

I silently opened the Inventory as she told me some juicy rumors about lady-this-or-Lady-that.

I blinked.  
My inventory now said I had 2,123£  
Was that a lot? I'm not sure if it will be enough…

And what's with the sudden currency change?  
I wasn't about to question it. Only bad outcomes can come from questioning good happenings.

Moreover, how was I supposed to take the money from the inventory?

I supposed I could try to reach for the inventory, like every time I tried to take an object from it…

…

But I have the woman right in front of me, what if she notices? Glancing at the woman, I tried to covertly reach for the money.  
It did work, at least, and the woman seemed none the wiser. But I took out all my money at once. Maybe I had to think a specified amount of money?

I paid for the flowers and exited the flower shop, returning the leftover money to my inventory.  
I hope I won't spend all my money too quickly, as I could use that money to buy food if I run out of my own. Maybe I could get more money from Quests, at least until I find a way back.

But this mission I was doing didn't give me any money, so not all Quests gave money… And I didn't have a constant source of Quests, so relying just on them was a bad idea.

As soon as I was in the street, I promptly bumped into someone.

Said 'someone' took me by the arms to prevent me, and the flowers, from falling.

"Tha-Thank you."  
I was looking at the flowers, they were fine. Good.

I looked up, and wished that I didn't.

Of course, _he_ had to be the one to be right outside the shop just as I got out.

The Kaito look-alike.

He blinked. Or, well I think he did. His eyes were covered. But from what I could see of his face, it displayed surprise. Then amusement.  
Great, he recognized me.

That cheeky smirk gave it away.

"Hello again little lady~ I have to say your little friend missed you very dearly~ hi hi hi. You wouldn't happen to be here to get yourself a coffin, would you~ hi hi hi. Someone as young as yourself should not have a need for it. He he he. I can get you one anyways~ it's good to be prepared don't you think? He he. Maybe for a friend?"

The _creepy_ Kaito-twin.  
He talked like a total creep, dressed like a total creep and even stood around like a particularly spooky creep.  
Conclusion: he was a creep.

"Ah... Thank you... ah... say- I mean- uh..."  
There were not enough words in the English language to convey how utterly creepy this man was.  
I even reverted to barely being able to talk.

I leaned away from him, in an attempt to create distance and find a way to escape.  
Sadly, he wasn't as lenient as last time, and leaned in. Or maybe he wanted a better look at my face.

Or he wanted to creep me out, in which case, it was working.

He got way too close for personal comfort. But any attempt to lean further away was met with him leaning in.

If I kept this up I would fall, I was already almost perpendicular to the floor.

I took a step back.

His smile widened at least twice as much as before, and took a step forward.

A step back.  
A step forward.

Why was he following me?!  
What did he want?

Why was he looking at me like I was a particularly foolish canary, and he was the cat?

We kept this dance of sorts until my head bumped into the wall of the street opposite of the flower shop.

Ouch.

I tried to slide away from the trapped position I had gotten myself into.

He made a step to the side, trapping me again.

Step aside.  
Follow suit.

Step-  
"Ouch"

I had bumped into a gravestone on the floor, almost taking down with me a flag of sorts that was resting on the tombstone, I looked to the place I had been sliding towards.

The funeral parlor the flower shop owner had mentioned. Of which I was starting to believe this man here was the owner.

The big sign above the shop read: 'Undertaker'. On one side of the door were two gravestones, one of which I had bumped into, the other side had a coffin.

Was that Garlic?

Not questioning.

I looked at the Not-Kaito. He was almost laughing his lungs out. He had been since I almost fell.  
Why thank you, such generosity, such concern for my wellbeing.

Ass.

But I wasn't about to let that chance pass.  
I ran while he was busy laughing out his innards.

I got back to the girl soon after I stopped hearing that man's laughter.

"Here you are. I brought your flower" I tried to smile reassuringly, I'm not sure it worked.  
"Bless your kind soul, young lady. Look, little one, look at what the nice lady brought you."

The little girl looked up. "My flower! Thank you, miss. Thank you."  
I gave the other flower to the woman tending to the girl.

"Oh, bless you, you didn't have to. Such a nice girl. You are really a kindred spirit."

This woman was making me blush. I wasn't as good as she said.  
If I was really that good, Kaito wouldn't have left.  
If I was that good, I wouldn't have left Kim.

"It was nothing." Really, it was.

 **'Minor Quest complete! [A mother's flower]**  
 **Quest Rewards:**  
 **-Increased Friendship with Mrs Durland.**  
 **-Increased Respect with ?**  
 **-144 Exp Points.**

 **Optional Quest Reward: Quest [?]'**

I hadn't really payed attention to the Rewards, but... who was this '?'.  
And I didn't get any other quest, why does it say I gained a Quest [?]?

The girl thanked me and the old lady before happily skipping away, the old lady thanked me again and followed suit.

 _'Through extended exposure to being followed you have gained a skill [Detect Presence]'_

Eh?

"That was a very nice thing you did there~ I really wasn't expecting it, he he he~."

A sound, not unlike the one made by a strangled cat, escaped my throat.

That just made him laugh again. Because of course _he_ had followed me.

"Why-why are you following me?"  
Alright this was completely surreal, normal people didn't go around following other people without reason.  
Even the game said he was following me, so this wasn't a coincidence.

He had to have a reason.

He tilted his head in a goofily confused manner.

"My, my. I was the one following you? How terrible. Hi hi hi. And here I thought you wanted me to fit you in one of mah' coffins. Hi hi hi~."

That- what- the-

"How does that make anything better?!"

I widened my eyes and promptly shut up. My eyes lowered to the ground.  
I hadn't meant for that to escape my mouth.

"Sorry"

He interrupted himself mid-laugh, (somehow) and I heard steps coming towards me.

I tensed.

Suddenly a hand fell on my head. Like I was a cat he was petting.

"My~ not to worry mah' dear, I don't mind, I don't mind~. Now look up, dear." I hesitated, his voice was still as creepy as ever, but it wasn't unkind.  
I looked up.

A covered face met my eyes. He looked so much like Kaito... and at the same time he was nothing like him. He had pale skin, and I think I saw ear piercings. Kaito would rather commit suicide before even _consider_ piercing his ears.

"Better, better~ what a good girl you are~ hi hi hi. You are quite amusing, when you die, I'll make sure to make you beautiful~. I'll give you a very nice funeral."

This man was far too happy to treat dead bodies.  
Of course, it was his job, but this went too far. Too Spooky.

I petted Tofu from inside my sleeves and took a deep breath. "What is your name?" I needed another name, aside from Kaito-twin, Kaito-lookalike, creepy man, stranger and other comparisons with Kaito, I didn't know what to call him. Maybe Mister Spooky. Or Old Man.

"You can call me Undertaker, mah' dear~, that's the only name I'm going by at the moment~. Would I have the pleasure of knowing yours? Hi hi~"

Not only he didn't tell me his name but he also asked for mine. And in a more refined manner than I could ever hope to be. Creepiness and all.  
I think I would call him Old Man after all. Creepy Old Man?

"Dalia" because why not. Let's give this stranger our name. Because I obviously haven't seen enough movies where they cursed, killed or trapped your soul just with the power of your name.

I could have used this chance to give myself a new name.  
A better one. Like Kalista. Or Akira. Or anything with the [k] sound. I like that sound. The main reason I named Kala like that. I love how that sound rolls in my mouth.

"Well, Little Lia~" why would he ask my name if he's not going to use it? This man is driving me insane. "I'm afraid I have some guests to attend to, but if you ever find yourself around here, don't pass to stop by my shop, I can always use a good laugh~ heheheee~."

Basically 'come and be my entertainment'.

"Uh..."  
Not likely.

"Hi hi hi~"

He turned around and went back from where he came from. Most likely his shop.

This man is going to give me a headache.  
I can already feel it coming.

As reluctant as I was to stay around where I knew the Creepy Old Man/Undertaker frequented, I was more tired than scared of him.

Which meant I was pretty damn exhausted.

Undertaker... wasn't scary. A little spooky, and very creepy, but not scary.

He was nothing like Kaito.

Kaito had always been serious, sure of himself, and as emotionally stunted as... well, myself.

This old man was anything but serious, and he seemed sure of himself, but in a different way than Kaito, like no matter what situation he got himself into, he would get out. Like he was so above others he could find amusement anywhere.

Like everyone around him was a pet he kept around to entertain and keep him company.

I didn't like it.

No one should have that kind of attitude.

"Create empty ID"

I sat, anywhere really, it didn't matter. As long as I managed to rest.

I had been walking the whole day.  
Might as well go to sleep now. I don't think I'm up to look for a hotel today…  
My legs are killing me...  
I was too tired…  
If I awoke too early, I could read or level up with the Zombies.

For now, I needed my beauty sleep.  
Not that sleeping would make me beautiful, more like, the other way around.

But I still wanted to sleep.

So I did.


	6. Chapter 5

**I didn't expect that so many would read my fic, I hope I'm up to the expectations. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler, that is Yana Toboso.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

 _'After sleeping on the hard floor you wake up with your HP and MP halfway restored'_

Sigh.

I needed to get a bed right now.  
By this point I was not above entering a house and sleeping in it while inside the dungeon.

While eating my breakfast I considered.

I couldn't keep this up forever.

Not only would my food run out, but I also needed at least a blanket or another type of coverage. As the days got colder I knew, not even the Dungeon would save me from the cold.

I needed to level up my stats and get a work somewhere.  
Maybe I could level up my Dexterity and work as a maid or something similar.

That would be the easiest way.

But I didn't know how to get a job here. Did I go home by home asking if they need a maid?

Besides, I only had these clothes, which, not only were they dirty, but also were not appropriate for... any job before the XX's. And maybe after, depending on which job.

First things first.  
I needed to be competent to get a job. That can't be much different, regardless of _when_ I was.

To be competent I needed to level up.  
To level up I had to go to a zombie dungeon and get experience.

To go to the Zombie dungeon I had to somehow warm me up enough to actually move.

Brr... Cold.

"Esc-Escape ID".

I managed to get up and move a little, to get my blood flowing.  
I needed to level up.

I created a Zombie Dungeon.  
And as soon as I entered I had to dodge.

A zombie had lunged at me and I didn't have enough time to get the frying pan out of the inventory.

Now, with weapon in hand I smashed its face and turned it to dust.

 _'You have gained 150 exp points.'_

At least I was warming up thanks to the exercise.

 _'You have gained 150 exp points.'_

Twin sisters!

 _'You have gained 250 exp points.'_

Rawr-

 _'You have gained 250 exp points.'_

I don't want to jinx myself, but I think I'm getting pretty good at this.

Woof.

A dog?

No.

Nonononono.

Not Biscuit, not Biscuit anything but Biscuit.  
No, scratch that, I prefer Biscuit before any other demon hound of those.

It was a Chihuahua.

That stupid _mutant-rat_ almost gave me a heart attack.

It was fighting with a German shepherd.

I didn't want to look.

A yip and a bark later I turned to look again. The Bigger dog had dusted the Chihuahua.  
But not before I used Observe on them.

 _'[Name]: Hellhuahua_  
 _level: 3_  
 _Health: 2Hp_  
 _Mana: 0Mp._

 _Str: 2_  
 _Vit: 3_  
 _Dex: 3_  
 _Int: 1_  
 _Wis: 1_  
 _Luck: 1_

 _A breed of hell hound in the form of a Chihuahua. It's the size of a rat._  
 _All bark, no bite.'_

 _'[Name]: German Hellpard._

 _Level: 7_  
 _Health: 13 Hp._  
 _Mana: 3Mp_

 _Str: 15_  
 _Vit: 8_  
 _Dex: 10_  
 _Int: 2_  
 _Wis: 1_  
 _Luck: 1_

 _A mid-sized dog, has high attack and decent Dexterity. Dangerous at low levels.'_

This could prove difficult, but I would most likely get good experience.  
Except for the fact that I would not hit a dog.  
Ever.

I turned away and went towards another Zombie.

It was easier to consider Zombies as a non-thinking, non-feeling entity than dogs.

I couldn't hurt a dog. I just couldn't.

The demon barely resembled a dog, it looked more like a monster. It was the size of a pony, its cold eyes looking for its next victim.  
I wasn't going to be there long enough for it to consider snacking me.

I had to kill two more Zombies to get far enough away from the dog.

 _'You have gained 250 exp points.'_  
 _'You have gained 250 exp points.'_

Two sisters actually.

And...  
I froze.

A Legion.

Not far away from where I was.

I will now... quietly... go away.

I didn't feel ready to face a Legion.

I sneaked past everyone.

 _'Stealth leveled up by one'_

 _'[Detect Presence] has leveled up by one.'_

Wait what?

I'm being followed.

By a...

 _'Name: Zombie Runner_

 _Level: 6_

 _Health: 12 Hp_

 _Mana: 0Mp_

 _Str: 7_

 _Vit: 8_

 _Dex: 11_

 _Int: 1_

 _Wis: 2_

 _Luck: 1_

 _Fast and dangerous, this Zombie follows the wake of Legions to pick off any fools that managed to escape, outrunning them.'_

Well... he looked fast.  
12 Hp... Maybe I could take it down.

It was already following me, and it's not like I could outrun it.  
The only option left was fight.

I managed to lure it in a side street that had less Zombies around, and waited for it to make the first movement.

It charged, and I dodged.

I hadn't been expecting for it to be so fast.  
My first instinct had been to get out of the way.

The Zombie, instead of keep charging like the twin Zombiettes did an impressive maneuver of flipping itself to face me again and kept running only losing a bit of momentum.  
At least it was impressive, considering it was a pile of flesh with extravagant red shorts.

This time I didn't dodge, instead hit the zombie right as it got into range.

The Zombie turned out to be lighter than expected. It flew for a whole second and landed on the ground.  
It was left with 7 of its original 12 Hp. It looked like I made five points of Damage.

I definitely couldn't take on a Legion.

But I could take on this one.

 _'You have gained 350 exp points.'_

Yes I definitely could.  
And I even got money for it.

I yawned.  
And escaped the Dungeon.

I hadn't leveled up as much as other times, but if I needed to, I could go again later.  
I don't want to be near when there's a Legion around.

I could read... or try to get lost and a little farther away from the old man that looked like a long lost relative of Kaito's.

Walking it is.

I walked... not very far, before I found a shop where they apparently sold meat.  
Just meat. Not a market. A shop.  
I didn't have any way to cook the meat so it was useless to me.

Until I somehow found a cheap home or a job, I don't have anything, except for the things in my inventory.

Yesterday I even had to use the bathroom outside.  
There was a toilet of sorts outside the poorer homes... and I had needed to go, very badly.  
I was literally homeless.

Sigh.

Wasn't there a bakery around or some shop I can buy already cooked food?  
It would be a good idea, just so I don't eat all the food in my inventory.

I kept looking around.

If there was a meat shop here, other food shops should not be very far, right? It would make sense.

I wasn't sure if I was near the meat shop or not, as I managed to get myself lost again, but I found the bakery.  
The baked goods... they weren't half bad.

Considering I felt ravenous, they could have tasted like poop and I would have eaten them just the same.  
Well, maybe I wouldn't have. As I still had the other food.

Now... where to go? I walked a little down the street. I found the meat shop again. So it wasn't that far from the bakery, I probably walked in circles.  
But that just means this is the way I came from, right?

One never knows, with me. I got lost surprisingly easily.

I turned around and walked the opposite direction from where I supposedly came from.

And I walked.

And I swore.

The flower shop. And right in front of it, a little to the right, was Undertaker's funeral parlor.  
How.

I had been purposefully walking in the opposite direction of where I thought this place was.

I looked right.

I looked left.

Just to make sure I looked up and down, this was important, I didn't want to mess up.

...

He's not here...

Is he?  
He's not.

I relaxed.

Of course he wouldn't be 24/7 outside his shop being creepy, trying to frighten poor people. Even he needed to sleep and eat. And an actual job to do.

I walked past the shop, carefully making sure no-one was going to jump me from inside it.

All clear.

Good.

Very good.

I felt way better.

It was silly, but I almost felt happy, with a spring in my step.

No creepy old men to talk to today~.

I kept walking the same street all the way down.

I got to a bigger street.

I wasn't sure how far away I needed to be from the old man to feel relatively safe, but here seemed like a good place to read.  
Inside a dungeon, of course. I didn't feel like being stared at.

Now that I think about it, the old man barely batted an eye at my appearance.  
Although he was strangely dressed himself, so that could be it.

I don't know how long it was until I stopped reading, but sun was slightly leaning towards setting.

It wasn't dark, yet. But in a few hours it would be.

I had leveled up [First Aid] twice, and my wisdom once.  
Getting out of the Dungeon seemed like a waste of mana.

I probably would sleep right here.

I could use the remaining daylight to level up other skills I had left forgotten.

Like [Rope tying].  
I could use the Obi of my shirt to practice.

 _'After sleeping on the hard floor you wake up with your HP and MP halfway restored'_

 _'After repeatedly exposing yourself to the cold weather you got the status: [Minor Cold]'_

Urgh... my head... why did it hurt so much?

I blinked my eyes at the alert.

Great.

Just peaches and roses.

I didn't feel like moving at all.

I didn't feel like doing anything really.

I got the book out of my inventory. At least I could do something productive.  
Yesterday I leveled up Rope tying, but just once, before I got too tired.

I sniffed. My nose felt a little obstructed. It wasn't a pleasant sensation.  
I could still somewhat breathe through my nose, but I felt harder to do so.  
My head is killing me.

I'm not sure I will be able to make sense of this book.

Surprisingly, I did, as I got another Wis point.

I yawned. I was so sleepy lately.  
I hadn't been having a good night's rest. But that's not surprising... the floor was hard, it was cold, and I was dirty.  
I felt uncomfortably filthy.  
I could _feel_ the sweat and dead skin clinging to me. Disgusting.

But it's not like I could just bathe in the Tamesis. That's just like asking for death.

Ow... my head.

I got out of the Dungeon.  
I needed to find a shop that sold clothes. Any shop that sold clothes. Or even just cloth.

Anything to keep me warmer during the night.

As I exited the Dungeon I looked around.

The city was as lively as ever, carriages hurrying everywhere, pedestrians walking and enjoying the day, women being run over by a carriage, a-

Wait what?

As a woman tried to hurriedly pass through the street a carriage couldn't stop in time and ran her over.

Luckily the woman had been in such a hurry that it barely scratched her.

I went to see if she was okay.

It was the lady from yesterday- err... two days ago.  
The one who was with the girl, while I went to buy the flowers.

The woman seemed to recognize me, as she begged me to bring a package to his husband.

Eh?

"Please, young lady, I need to bring my husband these clothes, for his ceremony, you have helped me in the past, I beg of you! Worry not about me! This is more important."

 **New Minor Quest! [Clothes for the dead]**  
 **Quest Requisites:**  
 **-Bring the special clothes for Mister Durland to wear.**  
 **-Do it before noon.**

 **Quest Rewards:**  
 **-Increased Friendship with Mrs. Durland.**  
 **-Increased Respect with Mrs. Durland.**  
 **-Increased Respect with Undertaker.**  
 **Quest accepted.**

What-  
Again?! The quest was automatically accepted.  
Of course I couldn't say no, she was begging me, but at least the game could hold the pretense of giving me a choice.

But... Undertaker again?

What's up with that, was he everywhere?  
Was he following me again?

I doubted it, but...

Sigh.

"Don't worry, please rest assured, I will give these to your husband."

"Bless you. Bless you." Someone had attempted to help Mrs. Durland up, but she seemed unable to.

"Bring this to the funeral parlor please, my husband is there... I want him to wear the clothes he wore when we got married."

Oh... so her husband... was dead?

"My condolences."

I took the package and brought it closer to my chest. I would bring these clothes.  
Even if I had to face that creepy old man.

Err... what direction was the funeral again?

Oh, didn't I stumble across it, yesterday? I came through this street, so logically thinking, there should be the shop.  
Let's just hope this doesn't, once again, prove my awful sense of direction.

Luckily my feet must have some kind of radar that brought me exactly where I didn't want to be.

I found Undertaker's shop in under half an hour. That was a personal record.  
Considering I was me, this wasn't bad at all.

I knocked on the door of the shop.  
I know it was a shop, I didn't need to knock, but I did anyway.

As I entered everything was silent.

I can already feel the dread.

My headache wasn't helping any.

I sniffed. Huh. It didn't smell bad. More like... incense.

It was dark, very dark, and there were coffins everywhere.

The room was decently sized.

More garlic. Was he a vampire hunter or something?  
Not questioning. Nope. I don't want to know.

Nothing was moving inside.

I hadn't gathered the courage to completely enter the shop. I was halfway leaning inside the shop.  
I took a deep breath and entered.

I left the clothes on the nearest coffin.

Maybe I could leave, and go back to the old lady to tell her I had done as asked.  
I didn't even need to face that stupid old ma-

"Aaaaaaah!" It was more like a dying squeal than a proper "aaah" shout. It sounded like a mouse that got stepped on.

The old man was behind me. He gave me a heart attack.

He even dared to laugh, like it was funny.  
Bastard.

"There, there~. I didn't think I would have the pleasure of seeing you this soon. I have a coffin that would suit you just fine~ would you like to try~?"

Not really-

'New Minor Quest! [Coffin tester]

 **Quest Requisites:**

 **-Test the coffins.**

 **-Tell undertaker what you think of them.**

 **Quest Rewards:**

 **-Increased Friendship with Undertaker.**

 **-New title.**

 **-100£'**

NO

 **'Quest accepted.'**

NO.

No please NO.

Why?

Noooo.

I might as well have said yes, because as soon as the quest accepted itself undertaker took me by the hand and brought me in front of a coffin.

"I think you'll fit nicely in this one~ and it accentuates the color of your hair~ Yes~ yes~ very pretty, don't you think?" He tilted his head sideways, waiting for my veredict.

It was a light brown coffin, it had little details to it, and the cloth inside was a cream color.  
Was... was I supposed to say what I thought?

"Huh... it's pretty... although I not convinced with the inside." I don't even know what I'm saying, I'm blaming the cold.

He made a humming noise.

"Yes~ the inside is very important, not everyone thinks so~ they think that what can't be seen doesn't matter..." Are we even talking about coffins anymore? "mhhh…we can try another one. Come here, come~" he didn't wait for me to 'come' instead, he dragged me towards a black coffin. "What about this one~ it's very solemn ~"  
Huh... Yes it was. Too much even.  
It was a regal black, with golden fittings, and with a red trimming inside.

"Too much... I don't think I could seriously use this"  
This was surreal. Was I really talking about coffins with a stranger?

I really was sick.  
I sniffed.  
Yes I was.

"How about this one? ~ it's not too ostentatious, but it looks very pretty~."

"You really are enjoying this."

"Hi hi hi. I love my job~"

Sigh.

I looked at the coffin. It was made of dark wood, a green inside, and barely any fittings outside.

"It looks nice."  
What else was I to say? I could not find any horrible flaw on it.

"Hi hi hi~ then let's try it out shall we~?"  
I widened my eyes. What?!  
I couldn't protest, as soon as he said that he had already shoved me in the coffin.

This was awkward. And uncomfortable.

"It's uncomfortable. And scratchy"

"Hi hi hi~ oh my~ I never had anyone complain about that before~. Good to know, good to know~."

He brought me to another one. A white one, and directly attempted to shove me inside.  
I somehow managed to avoid falling in. And instead I attempted to enter the coffin as dignified as I could. Like it was my choice.

Undertaker giggled like a schoolgirl high on hormones.

"It's a little too tight."

"Too scratchy"

"It's hideous"

"It's very comfortable, but why is it pink?"

"Pink is a very respectable color! It a precious color, worthy of a princess~ hi hi hi"  
It wasn't ugly.  
It wasn't completely pink.  
The exterior was white with a few golden fittings, the inside was a hot, princess fantasy pink.

"Very… nice" was all I could say to it.  
It really was nice. I just… don't think it was for me. I really wasn't a pink-person.

I told him as much.

"What a shame~ what a shame~ but it is very interesting having a second opinion~"

Second opinion? He meant he had already tested them himself?

 **Minor Quest completed! [Coffin tester]**  
 **Quest Rewards:**

 **-Increased Friendship with Undertaker.**  
 **-New title: Coffin Tester.**  
 **-100£'**

You have to be joking.

"Anyways~ why were you here? Not that I didn't appreciate your company ~ I had a lot of fun~. My usual guests are nowhere as fun as you~ hi hi hi."

"Mrs.…" What was her name again? "…Durland, gave me this to bring to her husband..."

"Another request? You are turning out to be quite the messenger girl aren't you~?"  
Of course not. It's just that the quests keep accepting themselves!

My face must have said what I thought of his claim, because he laughed.  
"I see, I see~ I will see to it that he wears what you brought~ it's good that you arrived when you did, I was about to see if I had to dress him myself for the funeral ~ hi hi hi."  
Yeah... good thing...

I can already see him thinking "too bad I couldn't get him in that pretty dress~" with that creepy drawl. I wouldn't be surprised. He looks like the type.

I managed to get out of the shop, but it was for naught, because as soon as I got out, I saw Mrs. Durland limping towards here.  
I went with her and assured her that, yes, I had gotten there in time, yes he had accepted the box, and her husband would be wearing their wedding clothes.

 **'Minor Quest Completed! [Clothes for the dead]**  
 **Quest Rewards:**  
 **-Increased Friendship with Mrs. Durland.**  
 **-Increased Respect with Mrs. Durland.**  
 **-Increased Respect with Undertaker.'**

I followed her back inside. Mainly because she was limping and I had to help her walk.

Surprisingly Undertaker seemed to have just finished dressing him up.  
I wasn't outside for that long, was I? Not even three minutes ago, he hadn't even opened the package.

I blinked at the fully dressed corpse, then at the empty package.

I guess Undertaker really is a professional.

Mrs. Durland had been using me as a crutch but she seemed to gain strength suddenly and threw herself at the open coffin. She mumbled something. Maybe prayers.

I looked at Undertaker.

He was solemn, and, although the amused smile still on his face, it seemed painted. Like he had forgotten to get it off.

I approached him.  
I was unsure to touch him, but after some consideration I finally bopped his arm with my finger.

He turned to me, seemingly having snapped out of whatever thought process he was having.

Huh... I hadn't thought this far, when I thought of snapping him out of it.

"Thanks"

I think he blinked, under all that hair and that extravagant hat he wore.

"What for~? I should be the one thanking you for making my job easier~ he he he. You are welcome here anytime~."

I blinked. I thanked him again.  
I thanked Mrs. Durland, too.  
And left.

I went to a nearby street and sat on the floor.

Sigh. My head was killing me...

What a day.  
But... I had fun. Somehow.

Didn't I get a title or something?

 _'[Coffin Tester]: able to sleep soundly in coffins. +30% more Mp and Hp when sleeping in coffins.'_

Ohh, so useless.

I didn't even have a coffin to sleep in.

My head...

I should rest.

No, I should not rest, I hadn't created the ID yet... and... and... I had to...huh?

Mmh... The book? No. I had other things to do... like sleep... no, level up.

I was really, really sick.

I sighed.

I the best I could do now is rest, at the same time, that's the worst I can do. I have to get something to cover myself up.

...

Maybe when I wake up.

* * *

Warmth.

I was having trouble breathing.

But it was warm.  
It felt good.

I opened my eyes.

 _'After sleeping in a coffin you wake up with your HP and MP completely restored.'_

I sniffed.

Huh?

"Good morning little Lia~ how are you feeling~? If you had slept a little longer I would have started to fit you for one of mah' coffins. And after you were so nice to test them all yesterday~ hi hi."

Yawn.

Wha... Yesterday? Where…?

"Where... am I?"

"In my shop, dear~"

I blinked. What was I doing in his shop?

"Why?"

"Why~? I found you yesterday sleeping not far from my shop~ you were so cold~ he he he, if I hadn't brought you in, I would have needed you to test a very final coffin~ he he he~ if you know what I mean~"

I yawned again.

I don't remember being picked up.

Undertaker sat on a coffin, in front of the very coffin I had been sleeping in.  
I vaguely remember trying Undertaker's coffins, helping out an old lady and then feeling so tired I went to sleep.

How had he plucked me out of the Dungeon? Had I even created it in the first place?

"Thank you"

"Oh~ you're welcome~, you're very welcome my dear~. May I ask what were you doing sleeping in the streets? It is very cold outside~"  
Huh... how to explain that I didn't exactly choose where to sleep.

Even under the warm blanket covering me from head to toe, I was trembling from the cold.

Undertaker got up. He didn't wait for me to explain, he probably already knew and only wanted confirmation, or he had figured it out by my reaction. Or he had something else to do.

"What a shame~ what a shame~ someone as nice as you~ the world is really a cruel place... hi hi hi~"

He came back with a cup of tea.  
Well, with a beaker with tea.

I refused on principle.

Even if he had cleaned it, or never used it for anything other than tea, a beaker was not made to store drinks. Science class had driven this into my head. _Don't_ drink or eat in the lab. Much less use the lab equipment to do so.

He shrugged, and left the beaker on the coffin he had been sitting in.

He offered me a cookie.  
I couldn't refuse cookies, even if they did look like dog treats.

I took one.  
Delicious.  
I have a new favorite food.

I felt better already.

"Hi hi hi~ Do you think you could stay here for a moment~? I have something to attend to. I won't take very long~"

I nodded.

This was one of the comfiest coffins I tried.

It was the princess pink one.  
Of course it would be.  
At least he remembered which ones were the ones I preferred.

The cookies were good. Very good.

I felt myself dozing off. The coffin was really comfortable. Yawn.

Ah... didn't I get a title about coffins? Might as well try it. I didn't have any other one to put in its place.

 _'[Coffin Tester]: able to sleep soundly in coffins. +30% more Mp and Hp when sleeping in coffins.'_

Huh. +30% more Mp and Hp? Does that mean I heal 30% more Hp and Mp? And if my bed was my coffin? Would it give me an extra +30% in Hp and Mp? Or is my max Mp and Hp the top I can restore?  
I don't think I'm completely making sense. My head still hurts.

Cookie.  
Delicious.  
Nom nom nom.

"Hi hi hi~ it's good to see someone appreciates my cooking~ he he he~. Say, you wouldn't be able to do a favor for me, would you?" He was smiling that stupid smirk.  
Of course he would ask for a favor from someone he just picked up from the streets, freezing and half-dead.

I nodded anyways.

"You see~ I need to clean up my tools, but I am a little busy getting another one of my guests prepared~"  
He got a wide variety of tools from... thin air, and put them next to my coffin.

"It would be much appreciated if you helped me out~ mhhmmm ~? Think of it as repayment for helping you out~ he he he he."

I looked at the tools I was expected to clean, then at the little basin and cloth I was given to do it.

 _'New Minor Quest! [Clean-'_

Yes, yes, I get it, do this, bla bla bla, you can't refuse bla bla bla.

I nodded.

His smile widened, if possible and left me to it.  
I took the first one and, after an inspection of said tool to find the best way to clean it, I started working.

I appreciated the task. I had needed this.  
A mindless task to relax myself.

This Undertaker... didn't seem like a bad person. A little off of his rockers, but not bad.  
He had helped me from the streets where anyone else would have ignored me.

I sniffed. Damn cold.

I was thankful. He was creepy as heck, but he was... kind of funny.  
At least when you weren't the one he was drawing amusement from.  
As far as he didn't torment me more than what I could take, I think it would be nice to drop by from time to time.  
Maybe he could give me Quests, as a way to go earning money and experience, while I was sick and didn't want to risk it in the Dungeons.

Brrr...

I might admit that it was nice to see someone who looked so much like Kaito have so much fun...

Kaito wasn't a very funny person.  
Had been.  
He hadn't been a very funny person.

 _'[Dish Washing] has leveled up by one'_

Atchooo!

Huh...

Urghh...

This thing worked with Dish Washing? Of course, I was basically washing the dishes, except that these weren't dishes, but tools.  
As soon as I finished I left them next to my coffin, where undertaker had left them in the first place and turned to sleep.

...

 _'Minor Quest Completed! [Clean tools, New job]_

 _Quest Rewards._

 _-Increased Friendship with Undertaker_

 _-Increased Respect with Undertaker._

 _-200£_

 _Optional Quest Rewards:_

 _-Increased Respect with Undertaker_

 _-New title.'_

Huh? Had I dozed off?

What's that?

...

Oh, the quest I hadn't even looked at.

And I don't know what I had to do to complete the optional quest, but I apparently did it.  
And got another title.

Yawn.

Suddenly I'm getting all of these titles. I don't even know what to do with them.

"Why~ you are awake~ hi hi hi, quite the sleepy one aren't you~" Not really, but it usually happens, when I get sick.

"You cleaned my things so well~ I might just hire you. He he he he. Hi hi hi hi" I think he started laughing at the face I made. Let me tell you it was not a pretty face.

"How about it~?" He hummed, poking my cheek with one of his long, black nails.  
How could he have such long nails?

I blinked.

Wait what?

Did- no I had to have heard wrong.  
Did this strange, crazy, creepy old man asked me to work for him?

...

It was a hard decision.  
On one hand I knew nothing about him. He could be a mass murderer, or a psychopath. He had already proved his lights were not all on upstairs.

On the other hand, it was cold out there, I had nothing to my name, no one who I could turn to for help. I was alone.

...

I think the decision is not that hard after all.  
I would set aside my uncomfortableness, and try to find a way back to Kim.

And to do that I needed to stay alive.  
A job was the best I could ask for.

I nodded.

"What would you have me do?"

"Nothing, right now, hi hi~. Once you feel better I will expect you to help me out with the parlor~ especially if I'm away in other business~ hi hi hi hi."

I nodded, determination in my eyes.  
I would start working on this.  
It was the only way, I needed to have hope that I would be finding a way home, somehow.

And the title?

 _'[Undertaker's little pet]: +20% to any interactions with Undertaker._  
 _+10% Respect with [Belongs to the Underworld]._  
 _Gives the buff [Protected] When around Undertaker._

...

...

THAT BASTARD!

I WAS NOT A PET!

He petted my hair, like I was a particularly filthy dog or cat, and dared to say to my face, in a very condescending tone: "You need a bath, little Lia, hi hi hi~"

I felt like drowning him in the bath I needed so much.

 _'You have lost a trait [Civilian]'_

 _'You have gained a trait [I think I know a guy]'_

What.

What the-

What just happened?

I lost a trait? How? Why?

And I gained another?

I needed to see this.

Looking through the traits I found the little culprit for my current confusion.

[I Think I Know a Guy]: Loosely related to someone in the [Underworld], but not a part of it. You don't receive any penalties to [Relationship], with either [Underworld] or [Civilian].  
-5% [Respect] with [Underworld] and [Civilian].  
+20% chance of confrontation with [Underworld] and [Civilian].  
Has access to the [Black Market], +20% buying prices for [Black Market], -20% selling prices for [Black Market].

What.

Black market? Like... a real black market, here? Huh…

And what's this about related to some-  
You bastard.

Undertaker was staring at me like he was looking at a very interesting movie.  
That ass.

That little piece of-  
Breathe.

Alright, calm down, it's not his fault, _or maybe it is_ , but he doesn't _know_ that.

I don't know what that trait means, but from this I understand two things: there was an... organization of sorts that sold and bought things, with a black market, probably even buying and selling stolen things.

Second: that bastard in front of me was a part of it.

Was he going to kill me if he realized I knew?  
I hope not.

Who was this guy?

...

Of course, I felt stupid, I had Observe.  
I have this amazingly useful skill and I forget all about it.  
Great job, Dalia, 10/10.

I wasn't going to voice out loud the ability, the man was right in front of me, there was no way he wouldn't hear me.  
Luckily, I could _think_ the skill, instead.

'Observe'

 _'[Name]: ?_

 _[Title]: Undertaker_

 _Lvl ?_

 _Exp: 64%_

 _Hp: 11290/11290_

 _Mp: 7819/8719_

 _Strength: ?_

 _Vitality: ?_

 _Dexterity: ?_

 _Intelligence: ?_

 _Wisdom: ?_

 _Luck: 59_

 _Status_

 _[Having a blast]: This person is having the time of his life. +20 Happy +30 Amused._

 _[In company]: people don't like to be alone for long periods of time, this one is not any different. +30 Content. -30 Lonely._

 _[New Pet]: Gaining a new pet is always a good reason to be happy about. +20 Happy, +20 Content. -20 Lonely._

 _'Observe has leveled up by one.'_

What. The. Frog.

He was not just an ass. He was a badass. He was a motherflipping monster.

His lowest stat was luck, and even then it was a whopping 59, which meant that the rest of his stats were even higher.

How much higher his stats were to be hidden away? And look at that health! He could laugh at any of Biscuit's attacks and take them like they were a simple caress.  
I wonder what else I could get now that I leveled up again.

I used Observe again.

And this time I also got his traits. Well, some of them. Some were hidden by ?. Like the first one.

 _'[?]: +30% Str +40% Wis -30% Luc +40% Vit. +20 Health_

 _[Excentric]: +5% to [Inteligence] for every level, inventions are +10% quality. -8% [Relationship] with [Civilian]. +8% [Intimidation] to [Civilian]. [Scientific Skills] are learnt +10% faster._

 _[Perceptive]: +35% chance of learning another's [Psycological trait], +5% to [Wisdom]._

 _[?]: Gains +20% [Relationship] for every interaction._

 _[Dedicated]: +30% chance of getting extra quests. +20 to [Relationship]. If failure to complete quest then -10% to [Skill] learning. –Blocked-_

 _[Fun Loving]: +10% to [Quests], +15% to [Skill] learning when having fun._

 _[Belongs to the Underworld]: -40% to [Relationships] in the [Civilian], -50% [Respect] from [Civilian], +15% [Respect] from other [Underworld]. +60% [Respect] to [Watchdog of the Queen]._

 _[?]: + 20% of successful order-giving. Gives others around a +20% in [Skill] learning and [Trait] learning._

 _Your level is too low to keep viewing more traits.'_

OMG.

This is...

He _is_ a badass alright.

And these are just supposed to be _some_ of them?  
I think I would rather take my chances in the cold, this old man can crush me like a grape.

And he is staring at me. He had been for a while.  
Could he read my mind? Was he able to see the alerts?  
Oh my god, had he noticed I had practically stripped him to try to learn his deepest secrets?

Wow, that sure sounded wrong.  
It's not what I meant.

Ugh, my head. I think I'm not in the best position to be making important decisions.  
Never mind I just decided my future in this world by becoming... a badass's pet.

Sigh.  
Pity me.

At least... the title I gained meant he would protect me, right? _Right?  
_ I needed to look into that, I wouldn't chance it.

"If you're so interested in my face you should just have said so~"

"Eh?"

"He he he~ I don't mind, you were making funny faces~ it was very amusing~." As if that made anything better.  
Stupid old man. I hope he goes bald.

Pfft... That would be very funny.  
I had to fight a smile of my own at what I just thought.  
Of course I didn't really want him to go bald. It's just... it was easier this way.  
And it's not like I said it to his face.

"Where can I get clean?"

"Hi hi hi~ follow me, dear."

I just might, though.


	7. Chapter 6

**Sorry I took a bit longer, I try to update during weekends, but this particular one I was horribly busy. I hope this chapter makes it up for the delay.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler, Yana Toboso is our god.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

The water was warm enough. But that's not surprising, considering the bath was next to some hot coals.

I used that time to find out more about the title I just gained.

 _[Undertaker's little pet]: +20% to any interactions with Undertaker._  
 _+10% Respect with [Belongs to the Underworld]._  
 _Gives the buff [Protected] When around Undertaker._

 _[Protected]: the user feels more secure when around [Protector]._  
 _+20% to Relationship gain._  
 _-20% to Respect gain._  
 _Not applicable to [Protector]._

So basically, by having Undertaker around as a buffer I felt less inclined to flee like the filthy coward I was. It also helped me not get wrecked by people from the Underworld at the cost of being a little harder to gain someone's Respect. Except Undertaker because he was the one doing the protecting.

What was the catch?

It seems unreasonably positive.

Too good to be true. There had to be a bigger downside I wasn't seeing.

Aside from the obvious downside of being more likely to get pulled into dangerous situations that old man gets into.  
Maybe this isn't as good as I originally thought.

He was strong. Incredibly strong if his level and stats were all hidden by question marks.

The highest level being I had seen was...  
Biscuit? I think.

I believe its Level was around 25 or something. And it still showed its stats when I was... I don't know, Level 3 or 6?

And even then, its Stats had not been high enough for me to be unable to see them.

That meant that the difference between our levels was... abysmal at best.

It was unlikely that Undertaker would find anything that he would trouble beating.  
Unless the anime law was applicable here.  
Which wouldn't happen because this wasn't a show.

The anime law dictated that, the stronger you are, the stronger your enemies will be.

I hope I'm not in an anime. I really, really hope this strange power just sent me across time-space and not dimensions or... whatever was applicable here.

Mainly, because that would mean it was very likely I would get the role of princess Peach. Or worst yet, the dog.

What's wrong with being the dog? Absolutely nothing. It's a perfectly good role that has a wide array of uses.

You want a sad moment? Kick the dog. A heartbreaking moment where one of the characters goes through hell and back? Kick the dog. You want to show how bad the baddie is? Kick the dog.

Basically meant that whenever the show wanted to build empathy with a character, they made them go through the worst kind of uncalled for karmic punishment, or whenever they wanted to show how bad someone was, they took a pitiful or lovable character and basically turned them into a mop for the baddie to clean the floors with.

I was the dog, wasn't I? I was pitiful, even I had to admit it, maybe not loveable, but definitely pitiful enough.

Scrubbing until my skin was raw, but clean as the day before I came here, I sighed contently.

Much better.

Once I was nice and clean I realized a problem I didn't think about.

Clothes.  
Luckily Undertaker had thought of that and left me a pile of clothes.

The bad side? It was a dress.

And... a lot of other... things.

Oh my, was that a corset?

How was I supposed to put this on?

Huh... what goes on first?

I can't ask Undertaker for help... right?

No, I can't. For starters he was male.  
Second it was shameful.  
Third it would be suspicious that I didn't know how to dress, especially when everyone wore the same type of dress.

Well, maybe not the same type, but close enough.

...

What to do?

I needed to clean my clothes.

Ah... But how?

I wouldn't use the water in the tub to clean my clothes, it was filthy. And I mean it was so filthy even pigs would have second thoughts, before going in.

I was naked and wet, while having a cold, without clothes. Bad idea. I needed clothes, now.  
There was an open chimney of sorts, with hot coals that warmed up the room, but I was still freezing.

I sneezed.

I heard someone outside the door.

Shit.

"Are you alive in there, little Lia? He he he~".

No! This is literally one of the worst things that can happen in a bathroom!

I threw myself against the door.  
"Don't open it!"

Silence.

I think I may have screwed up…

"Please" like that was going to make this any better.  
"I wasn't going to, dear."

I knew that.

I had known from the moment I didn't hear the knob turning as I threw myself against the door.

"Sorry"

I had just implied he was a pervert. The apology was completely justified.

"Do you require any assistance, my dear~?"

Huh...

I could ask how to put that... abomination on? No way.

"To clean my clothes...?"

"I will bring everything~ anything else? ~".

Uhhh... in fact, Yes.

Deliberately not thinking much of what I was about to do, I tried to fish a cloth from the pile Undertaker left me, just to momentarily cover myself.

Oops, not this. This is a skirt of sorts. Well, it's not like it matters, it's just for a second.  
Alright, this will do.

I wasn't even covering myself completely, just enough to lean out of the door, ignore the stupefied, hair covered, face of Undertaker, and yank the big black robe he was wearing over his head.

I needed it more than he did.

It came out easily enough. Considering the owner currently wearing it didn't put any opposition to the manhandling and theft. The only resistance I met was because of the scarf that tied the robe together, and a chain of lockets Undertaker kept as a belt of sorts. The cloth, as it was tied around the robe, came with me. The lockets were a separate part of the ensemble, and stayed around Undertaker's hips.

This will cover me enough, at least until I wash my clothes.

"Thank you." I just stole the clothes he was wearing, that's not going to cut it.  
"And sorry". Alright Miss Pathetic, cut down the kicked puppy expression. It's not like he can see it from behind the door.

I don't know what I was thinking.

What was I thinking again?  
Oh, yes that's it.

I wasn't.

I heard a sound comparable to that of a snort from outside.  
Then another.  
And another.

It kept going until it developed into a deep, full belly laugh.

I swear I heard something fall somewhere in the shop.

The laugh didn't stop, but it did slowly move away before returning. The laugh didn't stop the whole trip.

A knock.

It wasn't needed, I knew he was there.  
It was hard to when he was still laughing.

Poor neighbors.

With Undertaker's robe covering me I opened the door, took the clothes I needed to clean and waited until Undertaker left the washtub he brought, next to the open coals, before beginning to clean the furisode first.

Undertaker didn't do anything except laugh for another five minutes. It didn't look like he could do anything else. I think it was a miracle he had been able to walk and laugh at the same time.

He was even rolling around the place.

Only when I was about to give the furisode my 'clean' seal of approval, did Undertaker get his laugh under control.

Or he got used to the situation.

He didn't seem the type to even TRY to get his laugh under control.  
Maybe he was just horrible at it.

That didn't stop the occasional giggle, though.

He started draining the tub, as I started washing my pants.

The pants were black, so at least it would be easier.

' _Through making a repeated action you have created a new skill, [Cloth Washing].'_

In fact, only the Obi was showing obvious signs of wear, as the furisode was also black.

I think the obi will need to be ironed.  
Is it even possible at this time?

At least flushing toilets ARE invented, Undertaker has one.

That probably means I can iron my clothes. It makes sense to invent a way to straighten out clothes before something as fancy as a flushing toilet.

Once finished I took the clothes. Where was I supposed to let them dry?

I looked at Undertaker for guidance.

He was already looking at me, sitting on the edge of the tub, giggling.

Where do I...?

"Ahh..." he giggled again at my awkwardness.  
"Yeees~?"  
He knew what I wanted. I was sure of it.  
"Where do I...? Uh... dry this?"  
"Why, of course~ give it to me, my dear~"

I was reluctant at best.  
This were the clothes Kim had given me.

The last thing Kim gave me.

I carefully passed it to him.  
He took them with enough care to at least put me at ease.

I still followed him when he made to move slightly away, just in case.

Oh, what's that?

Undertaker took my pants and put them into a... machine of sorts.  
It wasn't a machine, it was...

It looked like one of these old sewing wheels, but it's not.  
Alright, maybe it didn't look anything at all like a sewing wheel, but I couldn't compare it with anything else.

It had what looked like a two rolling pins.  
The wheel I noticed was obviously made as a handle of sorts.

It had a... tray? I didn't know what to call it, but it was obviously made to pick up the water, that the rolling pins wringled out of the clothes.

Because this was a drying machine.  
Well, not really a drying machine, it was an obsolete, primitive form of the drying machine. The ugly cousin, if you will.

Giggles.

Yes, I imagine my face must be very entertaining. Thank you for pointing that out with your giggling. I hope you choke in your saliva and go bald.

Ass.

Undertaker slowly, deliberately slowly rotated the handle-wheel-whatever and started drying my pants.

Like I was so stupid I wouldn't understand what he was doing.

My glare only made him laugh harder. I hope his hair gets caught in the wringler and I have the _pleasure_ to cut it.

Once done, he showed me how to do the piece that tied my furisode together, the Obi.  
Lastly he let me do the furisode myself.

I think I did well, but he found it incredibly amusing somehow, and started laughing once again.

How could he laugh so much? Didn't it hurt? If I smiled and laughed so much my cheeks and throat would be sore before the end of the day.

The clothes were still slightly moist, so we let them finish drying by hanging them.

Undertaker walked out of the bathroom. I followed like a lost puppy.

I didn't know where anything was. Even if, from what I saw, the house was small, although larger than other houses of this time I saw from afar.

And my head was hurting again.

At least his clothes were comfy and warm.

He walked down a set of stairs, me hot on his heels, and we quickly found ourselves in the kitchen.

He somehow produced a pot of sorts.

Inside the pot where cookies.  
It was a cookie jar.  
Sweet, delicious cookies, sugary piece of heaven.

He barely had time to offer me any before I took the whole pot from him.

After eating two cookies and seeing his surprised but amused face I offered him one. Just one.

He chuckled.

We sat in the little table. This kitchen hadn't been made for more than one to inhabit, but it was good enough.  
A little cramped, but good enough.

"So~ How did a kind little lady like you end up in London's harsh winter streets? You don't look like the usual street rat, you know~?" This time his laugh was slightly deeper, and more intimidating.

Ah, so there it was, the interrogation.

"I got lost, and I don't know how to get home."

It was the truth.

If we let slide the tiny, insignificant detail that I was probably a time-traveler.  
Space-time-traveler.

This is the Dalek's fault.

Damn it Kim, this is serious.

Sigh.  
Kim...

"How terrible~ and you have no idea how you got here, or how to go back?"

I frowned.

I had gotten here... because of the game... maybe I needed to do something else in it to go back

Would finding out more about this ability, help me return home?

The exit tutorial reward... it had been when I completed a main quest... did I need to complete another main quest to go back?  
Could I even get back? Or would I be thrown into the French Revolution next time I completed a quest?

Suddenly, I was snapped from my reverie when a hand got close to mine.

And stole one of my cookies.

A shout of indignation. Mine, to be precise.

"You thief!"  
"I'm not stealing~ I cooked them~ they are mine too~ he he he~" his smile widened.

That doesn't justify anything! Why did he-

I blinked.

Had he been trying to distract me from my dark thoughts? That was... surprisingly nice of him.  
Maybe I would let him keep that cookie. Just that one.

Even if he was a bit nicer than he seemed, could I confide in him?

Could I say what had happened to me?  
No, He wouldn't believe me.  
I had told Kim, but I trusted her, I knew she wouldn't call me crazy at my face and throw me out.  
I didn't know this man. I didn't trust him.

I sighed.  
"I don't know what to do..."

...

What would happen now? Would I ever see my friend again? Would I ever see Kala? Even Cat, I would miss.

Damn it! Even Biscuit I would sort-of-miss.

I was alone, in a new, big, strange world that, so far, appeared to want to swallow me whole.  
And the only one so far that had shown me an inkling of kindness was this crazy, creepy old man.

I played with the sleeves of the big black robe I stole from Undertaker.

A hand on my head.

It wasn't reassuring, it made me feel like a pet. I wasn't a pet. I wasn't.

I stayed still as I fervently controlled the waterworks. Not even a teardrop escaped.

"I'm fine..." His hand kept tousling my hair.  
"Don't lie, little lady... it's unbecoming~ hi hi." I didn't like lying.  
At least he didn't look very angry I just lied to his face.

Maybe it was such a pitiful lie, he didn't even care about it.  
Maybe he knew that the one I was trying to fool wasn't him.

I sniffed. It was from the cold, not because I was crying. Because I wasn't.

I ate another cookie, this time slowly munching on it.  
I looked at the kitchen, it was small, warm and we barely could fit the two of us together without touching.

I examined the kitchenette. I think it shouldn't be too hard to use.

I needed to stop thinking.  
But my head wasn't going to let me.  
I needed something to do.  
Anything, to not go back to thinking about Kim, Kala, Cat... anything to keep my thoughts away from the possibility that I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life.

And I had been doing so well avoiding this...

A hand grasped mine.

I blinked. What?  
I stared at the offending limb. And blinked at it.

Undertaker must have found my face hilarious, because he was laughing.  
At least he was having his fun.

He got up and (still holding my hand) guided me to the kitchenette.

"May I show you how I made these~?"  
I perked up.  
"Yes! I mean... if you want to..." I blushed. Great. Way to go Dalia.

 _'[Charm] leveled up by one'_  
Wha-? shut up! I'm not cute!

Giggling, he told me what ingredients were needed and how to cook step-by-step the cookies.  
I don't think I got it, at all... but at least I now had more delicious, warm cookies.

At least he seemed willing to drop the subject surprisingly easily.

Not like I was about to question it.

* * *

A poke on my cheek.  
I groaned.  
Another poke.  
I tried to swat away the poking hand, but there was nothing there. My hand instead hit a wall of sorts. A giggle.

I awoke.  
I woke up in a coffin.

Urgh... what happened?

"Welcome back, little lady~ for a moment there I thought I had to permanently lend you this coffin after all. hi hi hi~."

Huh great...

"Wha' happen'd..."  
"Hi hi hi, Nothing~... on another note, you are very sick, my dear~ he he. I guess it is fitting then, that I left you this coffin to sleep in, that way if you die, I won't have to move you at all~ hi hi hi~."

Urgh, I barely remember feeling bad and going to sleep after cooking cookies.  
Where was Tofu? I don't remember where I put him...

A hand rested on my forehead.  
Oh... it was nice and cold...

"You're still a bit warm, but far better. Hi hi hi, I would recommend you rest for today, dear~."  
"I'm fine..." yawn.

I sat up from the coffin, and slowly got up.

It would be a whole new level of pathetic to say I was fine, and then immediately fall. A level I wasn't willing to cross.

I looked at Undertaker like saying: "see I am fine." Without actually opening my mouth.

Undertaker blinked and turned his head to the side, like a confused puppy.

But before I could even consider the action as 'cute', he got a devious smile, and suddenly, fearing for my well-being was the top of my priorities.

"Seeing as you are so weeell~... how about you help me clean the shop~ mhm~?"

Oh, that wasn't so bad... I was expecting worse.

Yawn.

I looked around, the coffin I slept in was inside the shop, along the other, for sale, coffin.  
It was... dusty.

Was that as spider web?

I felt my spine go ramrod straight. Suddenly I was completely awake.

I looked around.

No spiders in sight.

If I saw even one, I would be out of here faster that Undertaker can blink. Badass and everything.  
Maybe even setting the shop on fire. I would be doing undertaker a favor, really.

Filthy creatures.

I didn't even give vocal confirmation that I accepted the dare.  
It wasn't a dare.  
It was a mission.

 **'New Minor Quest! [Of Death and Dust]**

 **Quest Requisites:**  
 **-Clean the shop.**  
 **-Make sure there are no spiders around.**

 **Optional Quest Requisites:**  
 **-Clean the spider webs**

 **Quest Rewards:**  
 **-Increased Respect with Undertaker.**  
 **-Increased Friendship with Undertaker.**

 **Optional quest Rewards:**  
 **-Buff [No Spiders Around]'**

After a quick inspection I turned to Undertaker who was sitting on my coffin, looking at me like one looks at a very interesting movie.

"Broom"

And so I began cleaning.

* * *

 **'Completed Minor Quest! [Of Death and Dust]**

 **Quest Rewards:**  
 **-Increased Respect with Undertaker.**  
 **-Increased Friendship with Undertaker.**

 **Optional quest Rewards:**  
 **-Buff [No Spiders Around]'**

"It... sparkles..."  
I turned to undertaker, who only now seemed to realize what I had done.

Right now, I had just finished cleaning the windows. Previously dust-covered windows.  
Now clean, completely see-through windows.

The whole shop had lightened up a whole lot, just by that. The floors where so clean I could eat on them, and the previously spooky-environment had become a fairly amicable one, if slightly odd.

Undertaker had laughed so hard at my attempts to remove the spider web without actually touching it, that he didn't even try to help or stop me.

And now he realized his mistake.

"The atmosphere of my shop! It's... gone!"

I think that was the first time I heard him talk without a drawl or joking undertone.

His mouth had opened so much that I think his jaw was touching the floor.

...

Pff...

He...

He he...

I couldn't help it.

I started laughing so much that my whole frame shook with the force.

I tried to stop laughing, but I couldn't. It's been so long since I last laughed.  
Feels like a lifetime ago.

He just... looked so shocked! I don't know why it was so funny, but it was.

 _'[Charm] has leveled up by one'_

I covered my face with my hands. I think my face is red.

"S-Sorry... he he... I'm- so sor-sorry! He he..."

I was laughing at his face in the most literal sense of the word, I think this man is a saint of something, because he wasn't angry. At all.

He wasn't laughing either, but he was smiling. Not a very wide one, but it was a completely heartfelt smile. Maybe because of the Charm skill level up? But, I wasn't cute!

I couldn't see his eyes, but I had the impression they had softened, like when one looks at a beloved puppy fall on its face, and then get up, looking around to see what had happened.

Maybe I didn't need to be cute for others to find me cute? Maybe that was it. No, wait, but it was impossible for anyone to find me cute!

I stopped laughing.

I was uncomfortable. Usually I was the one looking like that, usually at Kala. Now... I was Kala. And he was me.

I blinked. He was me? No, of course not, that was a serious implication.

Before Kala... I was alone. No Kim, no Cat, no Kala. Just Tofu and me.  
Just like now.

Kala... She had been like a ray of hope in my bleak life. Seeing her so... carefree, playful, happy... making friends easier than I could. I felt whole and happy just by watching her be happy from afar. I was happy by vicariously living through her.  
Just being with her... made me feel alive. My dog and I...

It was a case of true love at first sight. And I meant it in the platonic kind of love.  
The moment I saw her, sitting amongst others like her, I remember my eyes falling on her, and being unable to look away.

I only remember her. Sick, tired, a pitiful mess, sitting in the middle of her brothers.  
It wasn't rational, but from then on she was the only one I saw.

It was clear that this wasn't that situation.  
I wasn't Kala.  
I couldn't be. She was so... happy, pure and perfect. So incapable of judging me for past mistakes, so accepting and kind…  
I couldn't be her.

And he couldn't be me.

This was a completely different situation.

...

I sat next to him, lost in my thoughts.

But then, why had he taken me in? I couldn't understand his motives.  
It was perfectly possible that he had taken me in because of some... characteristic, typical of this time that I couldn't understand, and probably never would. Like chivalry.

Maybe he had taken me in because of some hidden agenda of his own.

I didn't know this man, so I could be making completely wrong assumptions.  
But... maybe he was so creepy because he wanted people to... remember him?  
Maybe he was... dare I say it? ...Lonely.

I had been sleeping most of the time I have been here. But in all this time, I haven't seen anyone else.  
And all times I woke up he had been by my side. Like he didn't have anything better to do.

Maybe I was completely wrong. Maybe I was the most amusing thing around, and that's why he was here when I woke up.  
Maybe he was creepy because he enjoyed putting off others.

Yeah. Most likely the second option.

Still...

It has to get quite lonely, in here.

...

...

I think my head was trying to make this stranger more friend-able, because _I_ was the one lonely.  
I was projecting myself on him. It wasn't fair for him, and it wasn't fair for me.

"Is it really that interesting~? Hi hi hi~." Huh?  
I blinked. "What is?"  
He laughed. "My face! You have been staring at it for a while now~. He he."

I blushed. I had been doing that?

"Sorry." I scooted away, looking at the floor.  
"Why~?"  
"Huh?" I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.  
"Why do you apologize so much~? Even when you don't have to. Why ask forgiveness for something you have no fault with?"

I blinked. That... escalated quickly. Last time I checked this was supposed to be a lighthearted atmosphere.

Now he is leaning towards me, like he was trying to unravel the secrets behind my apologies. Now that I notice, his smile hasn't returned, either. In fact, I think he was frowning, behind that wall of hair that covers his eyes.

"Sorry..." ugh, that wasn't what I wanted to... "What I meant is... just because I... I don't need..." I took a breath. "Just because I'm not responsible for how things turn out, doesn't mean I can't feel sorry they went that way... and... if it helps, uh… to apologize... uhmm... if it doesn't, at least I tried... it's uh..."

Illuminate me! I am the master of words.

Not.

I will stop trying to explain myself now, it's just making it worse.

"Then why apologize for laughing?"

So that's what this is about? "I'm sorry for laughing at your face".

He blinked. He probably didn't understand why it was bad to laugh at someone else, seeing as he did it all the time.

"I don't get it~".

' _Increased Respect with Undertaker.'_

 _What._ Now why did I get this?  
This doesn't make any sense. If anything he should lose respect because of my horrible talking abilities, he literally just said he didn't understand my reasoning. It was a dead end of a conversation. Nothing should have been gained from this. This game is broken.

He didn't say anything else. Luckily.  
I'm quite sure I wouldn't have been able to refute anything he came up with.

"Can I have my robe back~?"

Huh?  
I looked at myself. Sure enough I was still wearing it.

He somehow produced my clothes, now dry.

I put them on by wiggling around inside the robe. Luckily it had plenty of room, it was quite loose on him, and it was even bigger on me. And if I had needed more space, I could have loosened the grey sash that tied the whole thing together. Although, then I would have risked the robe opening and showing all my naked glory to the world.

He laughed. Only after I loosened the robe and revealed my now fully clothed body, did he mention: "I could have just left the room, dear~"

I blushed. I wasn't very bright, alright?  
Don't need to rub it in.

He put the robe around his shoulders. He didn't even bother with tying it at all.

He got up. He said he had some guests to take care of. I didn't hear anyone.  
I hesitated to follow. Was I supposed to?  
He threw a glance over his shoulder.  
As good a confirmation as I needed.

Turns out the guests weren't alive.  
At least not anymore.

One was an old lady. The other was barely a boy. How sad.  
Undertaker approached the lady, I was glued to his side.

He started muttering to himself how he would dress her. Very creepy if you ask me.

He took a cloth and bowl and started cleaning the body.

I was by his side, watching.  
He seemed to realize I was there, and stopped muttering creepily to himself.

Sadly, that meant he began to mutter creepily _to me_. I think I would rather he mutter to himself.

"And now~... We're going to dry her and apply this to moisturize the body~ hehehe. Their family wants a public celebration for her, so we're embalming her, so she's all nice and pretty~, can you dry her hands, my dear? ~"  
Wha-? I was to-?

Huh... I guess... she's already dead... so I don't think she will mind...

I slowly took the offered cloth and carefully started drying her hand.  
"Don't be afraid to apply more force or take her hand, my dear~ she doesn't mind~ he he he~ I think a paler color than usual will be better for her lips, don't you think? ~ Yes, Yes~ definitely a pale pink, like a blooming pink rose in a winter night~ I love my job~."  
That was obvious at this point.

I don't know how he was letting me touch the body at all.  
Probably because it amused him, how gentle I was being with someone who wasn't alive to appreciate it anymore.

I was there mainly to provide laughs.

By the time I finished the hands he had dried the whole body, which was only covered by a thin sheet covering her modesties. Probably because I was there.

I didn't mind, really, I was female, I knew how the female body was, and I understood that, to do his job, he couldn't go around being prude.

He probably thought something along the lines of 'a lady shouldn't have to see this' or he simply didn't want to come across as a pervert. Especially after I already implied he was one.

He took a dress and left it next to the body of the lady.  
It was far simpler than what he gave me to wear.

Instead of putting the dress on, he left the woman at that, and moved to the boy.

This time I appreciated the modesty sheet a little more than before, even if I wasn't one to peek, at least it made me more comfortable.

The washing and drying process was repeated.  
This time the moisturizing process was skipped, as Undertaker told me, it wasn't needed for this one. it was a shame, the cream smelled sort of nice.

From time to time Undertaker went to see the first woman to make sure everything was alright.

I helped dress up the young boy. As with the woman he didn't have any exterior signs that hinted at the cause of his death.

At least not bloody ones I could recognize.

Undertaker started applying makeup. Or, well the equivalent of make up for dead people of this time.  
He even let me apply the lipstick.

He applied another, heavier make up to the side of the neck, where a bruise rested.

All of this... was far less gruesome than I imagined, when thinking about what being an undertaker implies.

Definitely not glamorous, but... it wasn't bad.  
It was like... I don't know... Recovering the beauty of life, so the mourning family can say a last goodbye to their loved ones, so the family is spared the pain of facing the ugly face of death, and can say what they couldn't, when the lost one was alive.

In a way, it was also a praise to the dead one. Making them beautiful one last time, so that the last memory their loved ones have is a precious, beautiful one, despite the pain of the moment.

Once finished I couldn't help but mutter: "it's beautiful".

Undertaker could have said something creepy in response, either agreeing or denying the claim.  
I think he would have.

Instead he wiped a single, small, treacherous tear from my cheek.

He petted my hair.

And sighed.

I blinked. And turned to him.  
He sighed?

Uh... I... don't know what to do?  
What happened?  
I was...

Why was he sad now?

I _think_ he was sad...  
He hadn't said anything, just staring at the body of the boy, his hand absentmindedly petting my hair.

Ah... what should I... what should I do?

Kim always forced me into hugs when she was feeling down.  
Maybe he needs a hug, too?

I tried to give him a hug. By that I mean I uncertainly wrapped my arms around his chest, lightly brushing the side of my head with his sternum. Avoiding as much touch as possible, but still making it qualify as a hug. It was awkward.

Very awkward.

And then he giggled.  
"What are you doing, my dear~?"

He sounded terribly amused.

I had gotten myself into this.  
I would get out. Somehow.

' _Increased Friendship with Undertaker.'_

Urgh... Why was he so... complicated?

"You seemed sad..." I left it at that.  
He accepted it.

Either that, or well, he was laughing so hard he didn't even hear me.

I put precious distance between us.  
I turned to the body of the woman, ignoring the laughing mortician.

We started dressing her, and then applying the cosmetic.  
I got a skill about applying makeup. I was so horrible at it, that it barely deserved the mention.

Once done he kicked me out, saying the next guests were "not appropriate for a lady to see."  
Which meant that those were the gruesome ones.

I appreciated the fact that he didn't make me go through that. I was fine after seeing the nice bodies, but I could barely stand seeing someone in pain. I don't think I could be in the same room as someone who was brutally murdered.

I went looking around the house.

The shop was on ground level, and it was the biggest room in the house.  
There were the coffins for sale, my coffin among them.

At the back of the room he had a small space put aside, where the corpses that were brought to undertaker were left. Although he actually treated them in the basement, or at least the bloody ones.  
Didn't want to dirty the shop's floor.

Even farther, at the back of the shop was the doorway to the small, but serviceable kitchen, and stairs.

The stairs went up, to a small empty space that led to two doors, one to the bathroom, the other I didn't know. Most likely a bedroom.

All in all, it was a small house, hard to get lost in. Which was perfect for me.

Now... my head was still hurting, but I felt better than before.

I could use that time to level up? I still didn't trust myself with an enemy... but I could kill the zombies easily. Decisions...  
Better leave the fighting out. One more day of rest, at the very least.

Then I would grind my skills like crazy instead.

But which one?

Let's see...

Well, Observe has proved incredibly useful...  
I could always improve that, if anything else is too taxing while sick.

Let's look at my actual skills... I could practice Stealth... or cooking... I think I would be fine practicing Rope tying, too.

Stealth looks very interesting... even if I already have it quite high.

I should definitely practice cooking, it's the most useful yet.  
I was considering Rope tying simply because I didn't need to move at all, to practice.

At first I didn't think Rope tying would be very useful, then I started thinking of ways to use it. Now I find that it really is useless.

Maybe one day I will find a suitable use for it.

...

Cooking it is, then.

* * *

' _Your [Cooking Skill] has leveled up by one'_

"Something smells nice~"

I turned to see undertaker right behind me, reaching over me so he could try to get a little-

I smacked his hand away.

It took me long enough to figure where everything was to start cooking, he wasn't about to ruin my first batch by snatching some for himself before it was even finished.

"When I'm done you can have some." At least it was nice to know that the food smelled good enough to get him out of the nook he was hiding in.

"I didn't know what you liked... so I made this... I hope is not too bad..."

 _'[Charm] has leveled up by one'_

Again with this? The game is stupid or something? I'm not cute!

Undertaker took my cheeks in his hands and pulled.  
Ah-?!

"Hi hi hi~ you are very cute when you make that kicked puppy face~ maybe I should hire you as a mute, too. He he he~"  
A mute? What's that? Is it like a mime?

And did he just say I'm cute?  
"I'm NOT cute!" It was hard to talk when your cheeks are being pulled, but I managed.

Undertaker made a sound in the back of his throat. It sounded a suspiciously lot like a squeal.

"You're even cuter when you say that~ he he he. Ahh~ such malleable cheeks~ he he he~ hi hi hi~ poke poke~"  
Noooooooooo!

Stop playing with my cheeks! It's not funny! And I'm not cute!

And the food is going to burn.

I turned my head away from him and to the food, it wasn't burning yet. Just in time.  
I took it out, and put it in a plate. I started looking for the cutlery.

I noticed from my peripheral vision a sneaky hand, getting closer to the food.

Smack.

A whine.

I found a single fork and knife. Really? This house seemed to only have the very basic for a single person to survive.  
It was like a bachelor apartment brought to the extreme.

It was more of a shop than a home.

I sighed, stabbed a piece of food and offered the fork to Undertaker. It was his home and his fork. And his food.  
And his kitchen.  
and his… well, everything.

Undertaker smiled and took the whole piece in his mouth in a flash.

...

I hadn't been about to steal his food. Stupid.

I waited for the review.  
Instead of that, I had a very funny view of Undertaker stuffing his face like a chipmunk.

If I didn't hurry I would be unable to taste it.  
But, I could always make more.

"You're in charge of making food~"  
Well, that went nicely with my plans to practice the Cooking skill.

I nodded.

"As long as you make the cookies."

He smiled.  
"Deal".


	8. Chapter 7

**Wao, I love all of your reviews, they make me really, really happy. You cannot imagine the great amount of squealing involved in reading reviews.**

 **Special thanks to redorlem1, jj510 and gauadominguez4 for your reviews.** **I'm really glad a lot of you liked my characterisation of Undertaker, he's a really hard one to make right. Thank you, all of you for your support.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"Where's Tofu?"  
"Whatever are you talking about, little Lia?~"  
A whole week and a half had passed since I got here.  
And this is the fourth time this happened.  
"Give him back."  
"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about~"  
Apparently either Undertaker was another person who didn't like Tofu, or he had a bad habit of taking my things and hiding them. Or both.

I approached Undertaker.  
I started looking if he had Tofu on him, by manhandling him around, looking through the big robe that was perfect to hide small to medium objects. Like Tofu.  
I produced Tofu from one of his sleeves.

He even had the gall to act surprised. While giggling.

"He he he~ I wonder what that was doing here~"  
As if he didn't know. I saw him snatch it from my coffin.  
"aha..."  
"Maybe he likes me more~"

In the time I have been here, messing around with me seems to be one of his favorite hobbies to pass the time.

While being here, I only could sneak around for a small while to level up, and I had been so worried to make sure I was there once Undertaker came back, that I could only level up once.  
At least I leveled up my cooking thrice and my sneaking by one level. I was now level nineteen! That was the highest level I have on any skill.

Thinking about it... It wasn't surprising then, that I had never been discovered sneaking out of the house to go play with Kaito, back then.  
I think those times we stole food helped level it up, and, as bad as I felt for stealing, at the time, Kaito had needed it more.

Anyways, that just meant that I really couldn't do much, while recovering, as I had a watchful eye on my back 24/7.  
Alright, maybe not all the time, as Undertaker still kicked me out from time to time, like when clients came, or when he had to treat his most unpleasant "guests".  
And maybe the watchful eye wasn't necessarily him following me around... more like the other way around.

At least I learned that, when he said "guests" he meant dead bodies. Clients were not guests, but they usually brought guests. Because clients brought dead bodies. See the correlation?

Undertaker perked up, and ran to me, shoving me into the nearest coffin.

That usually means clients were around.

I really don't understand how he knows that. Or why he hides me.  
Probably to annoy me.

After doing… probably something creepy, as I couldn't see inside the coffin, he took me out of the coffin, and gently shoved me towards the kitchen, saying something about making tea.

I don't even know how to make tea.

Apparently it wasn't needed, as Undertaker did it himself, I kept a watchful eye. From what I saw, tea was very common, I needed to know how to make it.  
Undertaker didn't seem that crazy about tea as everyone else, he didn't even have proper tea cups, well, not true, he did have one. Just one. At least he still kept around the necessary things to make tea.

He took out the tea for the... living guest. Client.

And I used my time in the kitchen wisely... By looking for the cookie pot.

"Little Lia~ if you are looking for the cookies I fear you may need to come out and meet the one currently eating them."

Say what again?  
Who's eating my cookies?

I was out of the kitchen before I could think my plan through.

My eyes immediately zeroed on the jar I knew contained the cookies.

Which was next to a stranger I could barely look at.

He was... handsome? I guess? Very pretty, at least.  
I would have described him as beautiful, rather than handsome, because there was something feminine to his beauty. But I wasn't an expert at identifying attractiveness even when it slapped me in the face.

But I could barely look at him, which meant that he was at least handsome enough for me to try to avoid him like he was diseased.

He was kindly smiling at me. Amused at my antics.  
Why was everyone amused at everything I did?  
I was starting to see a pattern here.

I looked at Undertaker.  
He was barely suppressing his chuckles.

Definitely a pattern.

I started making my way to put Undertaker between the stranger and me. Even if that also meant putting Undertaker between the cookies and me. It was a bad decision, but necessary.

Handsome people can't be trusted.

"Good morning, you must be the young lady Undertaker was talking about. My name is Vincent, pleased to meet you."

Vincent... looked like a nice person...  
I looked at Undertaker. He seemed to be good friends with this man.  
"My name is Dalia..."

I obviously wasn't miss conversation of 1669 or whatever year this was.  
…I still needed to find out what year I was in.

At least Vincent seemed to notice my lack of social skills, and thankfully steered the conversation away from my clumsy hands. Hands? Er... Mouth? Conversation abilities. Yeah, that.

Which meant that the whole conversation went right over my head.

I was reluctant to approach this stranger to reach the cookie jar, and leave the protection that hiding behind Undertaker offered.

If undertaker knew him, and seemed to be informing him of something I wasn't really paying attention to, which meant that, most likely, this Vancent was part of the Underworld, too.

Vancent? What was his name again?

My eyes were glued to the cookies, so the instant this Von-something put his hand on them I noticed instantly.

I peeked a little more around Undertaker. Eyes darting from von-someone to the jar of sugary goods.

Something funny must have been said, because Undertaker started shaking.

And then he exploded.

Not literally, of course. That would be worrying.

This explosion was more annoying than worrying.

He just started laughing like the maniac he was.  
Viscent or Voncent shook the jar to call me. I gave him my undivided attention.

"Eh?"

Undertaker's hysterical laughing became even stronger, if possible.  
"Do you want one?"  
Well, yes, or all of them really.

"I'm fine." My mouth was saying something, my eyes betrayed the truth.  
Vocent offered me a cookie.

I wasn't about to refuse it.

I like this man, Vacent, he was nice, and gave me cookies. Even if he was handsome.

At least he tried to not openly laugh at my face, like _someone_ else. I glared sideways at said someone.

He was currently laid against a coffin, as he was laughing so hard he couldn't get up.  
Dramatic bastard.

I hope he goes bald.

"You should come sometime to the manor and meet my twins. Diedrich and Pitt are coming soon, as well. You could even bring Miss Dalia with you. Mostly it will be so you all can be introduced to them."

I got nothing from that. Except that we were invited to see some twins? What kind of insane man would want UNDERTAKER near their CHILDREN?

I think I don't like this Va... Vanvent? This Vanvent anymore. He was a horrible father. I knew I shouldn't have trusted a handsome man.  
Unless it was an educational visit. In the kind of: "this creepy man is Undertaker, stay away from him, and be good children, least he take you away and eat you with ketchup and potato chips"

Alright, maybe it was a little cruel to put my benefactor in the role of the boogie man. In my defense, he seemed to actively want to be considered as a creepy bastard.

"Of course we will come~ I wouldn't throw away the chance to meet the little Phantomhives"

Phantomhive? That... was familiar. Somehow.  
I really can't place it.

Maybe it was a famous family in my time and that's why it's familiar.

Eh? Wait, rewind, what?

I had to go the house of some Lord or whatever he was? I barely knew how to act in private, much less in public!

This is terrible, why do I have to go?

Undertaker! He just went ahead and said we would both go!  
I'm not supposed to go there! I have nothing to do there! I don't wanna go there!

I looked at Undertaker with the best angry pout I could manage.  
"Awww~ doesn't little Lia like to meet new people~?" No, not really.  
I tried to explain my reasoning, but I don't think he understood. It was hard to explain oneself, when he was playing with my cheeks.  
You try to talk with someone pulling your cheeks. I'll go ahead and save you the trouble, no one will understand you. Not even yourself.

I blushed and weakly tried to pull him away. No way was I letting him do this in front of someone else. I had pride.  
Or, well, I liked to think I had some.  
Hidden somewhere.

Argh, the bastard was relentless, I had to squirm and trash to get him off of me, and even when I managed to tear his hands off, I couldn't turn away to flee fast enough, and he suffocated me in a hug.

Stupid bastard, why was he embarrassing me? Go bother Vascint.

Vascint in question, chuckled and said something about leaving us alone.

NO! I didn't throw you under the bus, I thought of it, but I wasn't going to! Don't leave me with this old man...

"He he he~ such funny faces~ if you really wanted me to stop you should stop making such funny expressions."

I don't make funny expressions!  
I am literally the less expressive person I know! I have a resting face of deadpan and I barely remember how to smile!

And that, is SAD, SAD not funny!

Insensitive bastard.

I had to admit...  
...It was funny.

Just a little bit.  
From an external point of view.

But only when he wasn't embarrassing me in front of someone else.  
Or at least when I wasn't the victim of his "suffocating hug of love and death".

I blushed. Alright, so maybe it was nice to play around with someone.  
Kim hadn't been as physically affectionate, I had been comfortable with her, she took what she needed, she just... needed a little less than I did. But I always had a pillow for free hugs.

Undertaker clearly needed to be reminded of the meaning of 'personal space', but even then... it wasn't uncomfortable, sure , he pulled me out of my comfort zone, and it made me feel awkward as hell, but I simply allowed him to. And the results were... nice.  
I never thought I could have this much fun just by having someone roughly pulling my cheeks. Or suffocate me in black cloth, arms and hair.

Now that I think of it... this is abuse.  
Never mind then, he is still a bastard that likes abusing my poor face.

Eventually Vasilent left after looking at me get trashed for a while. They may have discussed something else, but it was hard to hear with all the clothes and hair muffling most of the outside sounds.

The trashing didn't stop, sadly.

I tried putting my own hands on his face and pushing it away, but it wasn't working.

He was a cheating badass, I obviously didn't have a chance.

I don't know how, but I managed to pull slightly away from his grabby hands. I turned to the place Vivaldi had occupied, just to see the cookie jar empty, cookies gone.

Gone.

"NOOOOOOOooooo...! The cookies!"  
I felt rivers come to my eyes. That bastard! I definitely don't like him anymore!  
"That Vilvent took the cookies... I will never forget it!"  
Undertaker blinked at where the previously full jar was.  
"Even if you claim you will never forget this~, he he, I cannot help but doubt it~, after all, you already forgot his name~"

Err... it was Vivent wasn't it? Valvent? Viralvent?

Like it was usual at this point, he laughed at my face.  
It wasn't even a funny face. Just my completely unemotional face. Like my face couldn't comprehend that I got the name wrong.  
In reality I was waiting for Undertaker to illustrate me with his actual name.  
At last, he finally gave me a name to swear at. "Vincent."  
Oh, that was a little less strange than what I had been coming up with.

Determination setting in, I declared for everyone, mostly Undertaker, to hear: "I will never forget your name Vincent..." uhhh... I whispered to undertaker. "What was his surename again?"  
"Phantomhive"  
"Vincent Phantomhive I won't forget you!"  
Undertaker started giggling. Yeah he can laugh, but that name is written with fire in my mind, I won't forget it again!

* * *

"That guy that came earlier... Visvent..."  
"Vincent"  
" _Vincent_... do I really need to go to his home?"  
Undertaker blinked and turned to me, amused smirk, caused by my inability to remember names, fading.  
"I wouldn't force you to come, dear~ I will be going, if you want to come with, I won't forbid you from doing so." Ah... it's fine, then... I guess.  
Honestly, I'm not sure if I want to come or not.

"What can I expect?"  
His smirk returned.  
"Oh~? Interested after all~? There's nothing to worry about, you can follow me around or go around the house, I only ask you leave us if we happen to talk business~ you will be able to play with other kids~ he he he, other kids your age~" other kids my-?  
I wasn't that young!  
Unless he's so old that he considered me a kid.  
"How old are they?"  
"Six or seven I believe~"  
Alright now I know he's mocking me!  
I glared at him as hard as I could.

' _Charm Increased by one'_

Wha- NO! I glared, GLARED! It should be leveling up [Intimidation] not Charm!

Argh.

Undertaker got up.  
"Little Lia, be a dear and go see if Hercules is prepared to go~"

I swear I don't know how he knows when someone is coming. He's a psychic.

Or an alien.

Kim...  
Sigh...

I will find a way home. I have to.

As I heard the door of the shop open, I went to the backyard of the house, where Hercules, Undertaker's donkey, lived.

Such a beautiful animal.  
I took the opportunity to pet him a little more, he deserved it.

After a while, Undertaker came out and started climbing the carriage.  
"I'm afraid you can't come with, dear, be a good little assistant and stay here~. I will close the shop, so you can have some free time, but don't get lost~ alright~? I won't go around looking for you~."

Free time to level up!

I nodded.

I stayed, seeing his carriage getting farther and farther, until I couldn't see it anymore.

Alright, time to level up.

"Create Zombie ID"

 _'[Create ID] has leveled up by one'_

Smash time.

' _You have gained 150 exp points points.'_

' _[Mastery of Blunt Weapons] has leveled up by one.'_ _  
_ _'You have gained 250 exp points points.'_ _  
_ _'You have gained 250 exp points points.'_ _  
_ _'Congratulations! Your level has increased by one.'_ _  
_ _'You have gained 150 exp points points.'_ _  
_ _'You have gained 150 exp points points.'_ _  
_ _'You have gained 150 exp points points.'_

A runner.  
I had to be careful with those, I had no problem with the sisters anymore, and I could finish off Runners without problems, but only if I was careful.

Run.  
Turn around, hit them in the head.

' _Critical hit!'_ _  
_ _'You have gained 350 exp points.'_

Wha- oh.

Looks like luck is even more useful than expected.  
Speaking of luck, didn't I say something about putting some points in luck for every level I gained?

Let's look at my Stats.

'[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: Undertaker's little pet  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 13  
Exp: 62% (800 Exp)  
Hp: 69 Hp  
Mp: 56 Mp

Strength: 5  
Vitality: 22 (2+20)  
Dexterity: 5 (5+0)  
Intelligence: 23  
Wisdom: 20  
Luck: 10

Points: 10'

I vaguely remember something about increasing my Dexterity, although I don't remember what was my reasoning as to why.  
Let's just trust the Dalia of the past and put some points to Dexterity.  
And luck.

Five to each, because, why not?  
It's not bad to be a somewhat rounded character, at least not in real life. Being able to do a little of everything was useful when you don't have anyone to rely on.

Specialization was a luxury you couldn't afford when you are alone.

I couldn't rely on anybody. While it's true that I have Undertaker, seeing as I wasn't willing to spit out my secrets to him, then I couldn't count him on my team. Besides, he probably had better things to do. Like run a shop. No team for Dalia.

I was a solo team. I had experience with those.  
Let me tell you something about solo teams: they suck.

You need to put thrice the amount of effort to do something even a small team of two would easily do.

The most intelligent decision would be to confide in Undertaker, and try to use his high level to fight bigger monsters that gave more experience to level up myself.

But I wasn't going to do that. He wasn't confiding in me about the whole Underworld business, so I wouldn't tell him anything either.

That was lame.

It was very likely he was keeping the Underworld a secret to protect me.  
I was keeping my power a secret because I was a coward.  
There were key differences.

I was afraid that, even if he happened to believe me, he would disapprove or worse, kick me out of his home.

It was stupid, but... I didn't want to be alone anymore.

A roar right behind me.

I might have forgotten that runners were never too far from Legions.

I was dead meat.

That thing... I was higher leveled that it, but it still could clean the floor with my face.

'Name: Legion Zombie  
Level: 8  
Health: 35 Hp  
Mana: 0Mp

Str: 13  
Vit: 18  
Dex: 2  
Int: 1  
Wis: 2  
Luck: 2'

Huh... maybe I could take it down? No, there was no way.

Urgh... I had to try... I was sick of being such a scaredy cat!

I had to become braver! Become stronger!

The Legion Zombie was... big, and it honestly looked like a boss. A boss monster. I don't think it was, but it was the biggest thing I had seen in here.

Alright.  
Alright, Dalia, you can do it.

Be brave, be strong.

I took a deep breath, but it wasn't really helping.  
I would have tried to pet Tofu, but I needed my hands on the handle of my weapon.

I ran to it and hit it with my frying pan.

I did 10 Hp of damage.

Which was more than I was expecting.

It still had more than half its life left.

I miraculously avoided a kick of the thing, as I put distance to see if an opportunity presented itself.

I couldn't dodge the hit that followed and I received 8 Hp of damage.

Really? Just 8? I really had been scared because of nothing, this one was obviously made to take hits, not receive them. Or maybe it was because it didn't have any weapon? Because its strength is not much lower than its Vitality. And it was still more than the double of my strength.

The only reason I can see for my higher damage is the Legion's lack of a weapon.

This time more confidently I swung again at the Legion. 10Hp of Damage.

I could do it!

Another hit. 10 Hp.

Kick. Ouch, 8 Hp less for me. While it hurt to recieve damage, the pain quickly receded. That was good. I didn't want to be unable to dodge because I was writhing in agonizing pain. This power may not be so bad, after all.  
I definitely could take care of it.

And then I got this.

' _Detect Presence has leveled up by one'_

Another runner was trying to sneak up on me.

The Legion just needed a hit to be defeated, but the runner was fast, I don't know if I will be fast enough to hit the Legion and then turn around to hit the runner.

I ran to the Legion and gave it its finishing blow, right between the eyes.

' _You have gained 450 exp points.'_

Then instead of turning around to face the Runner I simply let it pass me by, stepping aside from its path, and right as it passed me, I kicked its back, making it fall to the floor.  
He had started trying to attack me from the back first, so it wasn't such a dirty move if he was the one to start it.

As it was left stunned I took the opportunity to finish it off with a good hit in the head.

Maybe it was my imagination, but zombie movies had led me to believe that you had to attack zombies on the head. And unless I was proven wrong, I would carry on with that assumption and hit their heads when possible.

' _You have gained 350 exp points'_

I let out a relieved Sigh.  
I had been so afraid to even engage the monster that, when I actually fought it, I was almost disappointed from how easy it actually was. Almost. I was more relieved than disappointed.

Maybe I should take a page from what just happened, and finally engage the metaphorical monster that was the dreaded conversation where I told undertaker that I wasn't from this world.

Or not...

Yeah, not happening.

Alright, I think I deserve a rest, this is the most hurt I have been after a fight with a monster. I need to recover.  
Although I usually get less hurt because I act like the coward I am, running around the place, not letting them hit me.

' _[Escape ID] has leveled up by one.'_

Kitchen.

Food.

Health.

Yes, I have my priorities straight.

Delicious food, smells so good...

After I scarfed down the food I decided to make some more for when Undertaker came back.  
I didn't want to hear him whining.

And then I would clean myself up. I look like I just rolled around in the mud with a pair of Zombies.

Cough cough, I was still sick, I had to be excused for my horrible comparisons.

Yeah.

After cleaning myself I could read the anatomy book. Or re-read it, as I finished it not that long ago.

Re-read it is.

* * *

"He he he~ something smells good~".  
I lowered the book to look at my savior. "I was hungry..." and hurt "...and ate early, I left some for you."  
He hadn't been gone for very long, just enough for me to cook, clean myself up and level up [First Aid] and wisdom once each.

He hummed and shook himself a bit to rid his clothes of some dirt and donkey fur that was clinging to him.  
He shook his hair a bit and deemed it good enough.

Really?

That's all he did to brush his hair? No wonder it was so messy.

Argh, it was making me nervous.

All of that hair... going in every direction...  
The only semblance of order inside that messy mane of a hair, was that braid he had on the side of his head.  
And even that I'm pretty sure he doesn't bother re-making.

My fingers twitched.

Control yourself, Dalia.

I can't. I have been doing a very good job ignoring that shaggy mess, but he just shook it around like he was purposely tempting me!

I don't think he realizes what he just did, he's currently eating the food, making pleased noises.

Grrr...

It was such a nice hair... it reminded me of Kaito's hair... to see it so unkempt put me on my last nerve.

I needed a brush. And I needed it now, or I would commit murder. Probably his.

I really don't know how I let him walk out with that hair in the first place.

I think it was because I was afraid I would anger him somehow.

Now, I blame my recent defeat of that Legion for that extra amount of courage and attitude that allowed me to get a brush and bodily keep him in place to get his hair into some semblance of order.

"He he... what are you doing~?" He questioned around a mouthful of stew, when I put a hand on his shoulder, preventing his escape.  
"A favor to society by brushing your hair, be thankful I'm not making a favor to humanity by cutting it off."  
"He he he~ I'm very thankful~" I think I saw him sweatdrop. But that's impossible.  
This is not an anime.

He let me brush his hair in relative peace. From time to time, he would try to turn around or move a little. I wasn't having any of that.

I hadn't let Kim walk around like a hobo, I wasn't letting him do the same.

If he wanted to keep his hair styled like that, he could go ahead for all I cared, but it had to be as soft as silk to the touch once I was done with it.

I had to say... his hair was difficult to tame. More than Kim's, even more than mine. But I did it.  
It was soft, even if his eyes ended up immediately covered with hair once again.

I did get a small peek at his face, even if his eyes were closed. He wasn't as old as I originally thought.  
I couldn't really call him an old man anymore.  
Or, well, I could. Just to annoy him.

He had a scar that ran down his left eye down to his right ear. Across his face. I hope it hurt less than what I was fearing.

I was done brushing his hair... maybe it was a good opportunity to...?  
No. I still was too much of a coward to explain how I got here.

If he asks again, I will tell him.

I know it's a coward move, but I don't think I can just say out of the blue that I had a power similar to that of a videogame character.  
I don't think video games are invented here, yet.  
Damn, I'm not sure _televisions_ are invented yet.

Sigh...

I didn't expect him to turn around and take the brush from me. But he did, and started brushing my own hair.

It was uncomfortable, I was used to do it myself, but apparently Undertaker was very touchy-feely. He loved to invade another's personal space.  
Extra points if that space was mine.

I had to become used to this.  
It's not that I didn't like being touched, I just... wasn't _used_ to being touched.  
I liked hugs. But I was very awkward at giving them.

It was slightly foreign, to have someone touching you at all times.

A hand caressed my hair.  
"Something on your mind, dear?"  
"Ah, just thinking..."  
"Sometimes, thinking things too much is not good, my dear." His voice wasn't playful, instead he sounded like a grandparent giving their grandchild advice about a problem they themselves had, when they were younger. It was the voice of the experience.  
But I hadn't needed that experience, I had enough of it myself.

I sighed, and tried to ignore the hands that had given up trying to make it look like they were brushing my hair, and had started to simply play with it.

Really, I should be the one playing with his hair, he has the hair for it. And it's not like I would be opposed to it.

You know what, I just might do it. He said to stop thinking things through, then I would do just that and play with his hair.

Just... not right now.

Sigh. A coward, that's what I was.

I leaned my head on my hands. I think I needed a hug.  
A pat on the head, a small lie telling me I wasn't a coward, or that I could become braver, and I would feel better.  
I just... wasn't confident enough to ask that of Undertaker. Or anyone.  
I should go look for a pillow.

I barely knew what made him angry or what set him off. He was always... quite agreeable, laughing all the time or finding humor in any situation.  
By this point I was sure that Undertaker wasn't one to get easily angered.  
Which meant that his fury was a terrible, scary thing to see.  
I was terrified that if I kept asking I would finally find what set him off.

If he at least told me "don't do this" or made clear what line he wasn't willing to cross, then I wouldn't be so scared.  
Instead I was left in a guessing game of sorts, I was blind, using my hands to move around, knowing that there was something in the dark that could set off the beast in the room.

But I was making excuses.

Because I knew that Undertaker didn't have a short temper. I was needlessly cautious.  
The most probable action Undertaker would take, in case I actually did something I didn't like, would be a small admonishing advice, a pat on the head, and then watch and laugh as I inadvertently screwed myself up.

I doubt that I could just stumble into doing something he didn't like, just because. But I still walked on eggs around him.  
Because I wasn't sure of myself.

I was the one with a problem here.

I sighed. I needed to change. I had to... unbury the backbone I lost so long ago.  
At least for myself. I needed to do this for myself.  
But... it was so hard... Kim always said I was too hard on myself. But I wouldn't need to be so hard if I just was... better!

I took a breath.  
Looking at the floor I turned around and let my arms awkwardly try to get a hug.  
Undertaker didn't say anything, but gave what I asked.

I wasn't crying. But I might as well have been.

This was so awkward... I don't understand why I needed this in the first place. I'm just... stupid.  
Undertaker didn't let me pull away, instead he started talking.

I'm not sure about what. A little of everything. Of good people and bad people. Of life and death. Of sorrow and hope. Of legends long past, and of new brighter days. He talked in a soft voice, so different from his playful voice or that tone he used when he wanted to creep out people.

He actually had a very soft and relaxing voice.

I burried myself in his hug. He smelled nice... like that cream he used on the bodies... funnily enough, he also smelled like the cookies he baked, and... some kind of citric. I liked the citrus smell, it made me think I was safe.

Most of what he said didn't make much sense, but I still understood, that was knowledge of generations long past. And I somehow didn't feel so lonely, even if I was now in another time, this past also had a past. It wasn't as different as my own world. We were still connected.

I'm not sure that was his intention, but, to me, it felt that way. It made me feel better.

And I think I actually took comfort from that particular hug.

* * *

' _After sleeping in your coffin you wake up with your HP and MP completely restored, all negative buffs removed'_

Huh?  
It's still nighttime... why do I have to be awake...?

Yawn.

I need to go... bathroom.

I walked up the steps, slowly, silently.  
Even in my sleepy state, I knew not to make sound at this ungodly hour of the morning.

The shop was especially creepy at night, all dark and silent.

Somehow, in the daytime it was less... gloomy. I really don't understand why.

The bathroom was cold. The coals had long gone cold, and the chill could clearly be felt.

Yawn  
Once done and out of the bathroom I looked at the door of what I presumed was Undertaker's bedroom.

I didn't hear anything from it, so either he's a very quiet sleeper, or he went to pick up a dead "guest". At least I hadn't waked him up.

I walked down the stairs and sat on my coffin.  
I don't think I can go back to sleep, I feel restless...

Suddenly a shiver went down my spine.

' _Through a special action you have created a new skill, [Detect Bloodlust]'_

My eyes widened as saucers. And right at that moment I heard a thud coming from above.

...  
I don't... I'm not sure if I can move.

I heard someone opening the door of the shop, the one that led to the street.  
The one I was right next to.

I slowly turned my gaze to the door, sure enough it was open. Please let it be Undertaker, please let this be just a harmless misunderstanding.

The stranger wasn't Undertaker.  
They were a bit too short, a little too stocky, and definitely lacked the hat and robes, to be Undertaker.

And they were glaring at me.

' _[Detect Bloodlust] has leveled up by one.'_

They were literally trying to kill me with their eyes.

Their yellow-green eyes.

They were such an unnatural coloring, that they were enough for me to know, this wasn't a normal human.

Ha... ha...

I was terrified.

I hadn't been as scared when I met Biscuit... and Biscuit was obviously not a normal dog.

And then I felt calm. It was irrational for me to calm down so suddenly, is this because of the gamer's mind?

I took a deep breath, and got up.  
I tried to come up with the kindest, most unasuming voice I could muster. "Did you need anything? I'm afraid we're not open at this hour, but I'm sure we can work on something if it's an emergency."

Please just tell me you're lost, just tell me you are lost.

The figure, a male, narrowed his eyes. I don't think he's lost.

He had blond hair, and an impressive resting bitch face. I had to give it to him, if his intention was to scare me out of my wits, with that face he had half the job done.  
He wore glasses, crooked and as messy as the rest of him. He looked like he just got out of a scuffle.  
It could be the darkness that the shop was in, but I think they had tan skin.

"Are you him?" Even with such an intimidating tone, I couldn't help but think him a little... lacking in mental capabilities.

He was looking for a male, if his question was any indication. Unless he was stupid or blind, I think it was obvious I was no male.

"I'm female, thank you."  
He blinked, and looked at me, instead of just glaring, for seemingly the first time. Then he looked confused. He got a bit closer, squinting, as if making sure it wasn't a lie.  
Then he looked me straight in the eyes.

"You're... human?"

...Yes?

I think this one deserves an award. An award for top-notch stupidity.

He widened his eyes and looked around, looking for someone.

He obviously didn't find anyone else.

"Where is he? That legendary shinigami! Do you know where he is? Tell me!"

Shinigami? Shinigami!? A grim reaper!? What would a crazy idiot like him want to do with a god of death?  
Last time I checked they were all in soul society. ha...  
Gosh, I hope I'm not in bleach. This is no time to be cracking jokes.

No, really, is this idiot serious?

"I don't know about any Shinigami, but if you're looking for legends I heard that the bakery next street has some cookies that are... legendary."

Alright, now I was completely bullshiting this stranger.

The most surprising thing? He actually muttered: 'I will see for myself' and left.

Just like that.

I calmly closed the door. Even sparing a wave of the hand to the dimwit that left without a glance back.

And promptly freaked out. Slamming my back against the door, my mind raced, focused on a single sentence, repeating it like a mantra.

WhatTheFuckWasThat!  
I kept muttering 'whatthefuck' as I hastily made my way towards the coffin, as soon as I went to sleep, the faster this will be put to the back of my mind.

I made an abrupt halt, what if undertaker was the one that Dimwit was looking for?

I needed- I needed to tell him.  
But- but? Wha- how-? What if he thought I was cray-cray? How would I- Ho-

Instantly calming, I took another breath, reassuringly brushing my thumb against Tofu's head. The gamer's mind was quite useful.

I needed to tell Undertaker an insane man had entered the shop.  
I would tell him everything Dimwit said. If it turned out that Dimwit was just stupid, not insane, Undertaker would... I don't know, but at least he would know.  
If Dimwit was also insane, it was good for Undertaker to know a crazy man had been prowling around.

I took hurried steps to the second floor, and crashed right into a pair of awaiting arms.

Nononono, please don't tell me Mr. Dimwit wasn't as stupid after all, and came back to finish off witnesses.

It wasn't the newly dubbed Mr. Dimwit.  
It was Undertaker. Thank goodness.

I think part of my soul escaped with the relieved sigh I let out.

"Scared, little Lia? ~"  
Yes, very much.  
"There was someone, they entered the shop..."  
He put his fingers on my mouth, preventing me from saying anymore.  
"I heard~, hi hi, I have to say~ hi hi hi~ you were very, he he, very brave~ hi hi hi. I might be a little jealous that you have those cookies in such high regard~"  
Really, someone entered the shop in the middle of the night, and he's amused because...

Sigh. No, actually, this just like him. I really shouldn't have expected any different.

That made me feel better.  
Safer.  
Like everything was perfectly normal.

"Now, now~ I'm sure that was a very scary situation~ if you want to you can sleep on a real bed tonight~ he he"  
I looked at him suspiciously.  
"That bed wouldn't happen to be yours, right?"  
"It's the only one in the house~"  
"Then I'm fine."  
I wasn't about to steal his bed, it was his.

I swear I heard him muttering something like "that came out wrong".  
It would be funny if he really did say that.  
Although I don't understand what had been misunderstood.

"As you wish~ he he he. Would you rather start the day early? I can make cookies. I have a new recipe that will surely surpass those of that stupid bakery next street."

I wasn't about to say his cookies were already the best I had tasted ever. Even if it was the truth. I might consider it afterwards. But for now, I wasn't about to pass on more cookies.

* * *

As I finished cleaning I found the most unusual sight, Undertaker _reading_.

Well, Undertaker reading a newspaper. I'm not sure where he got it from, but Undertaker did a lot of things while I wasn't looking.  
"Richard Wagner dies of a heart attack. How sad~ he he" Wait, what?  
"The composer?"  
"Yes~ In Venice, I'm sure a lot of people is heartbroken by this loss~ he he he"

He didn't look very heartbroken.

Still, it was somewhat strange to see Undertaker doing something as... normal as reading the newspaper.

I passed him by, but before I could, Undertaker called my attention.  
"About tonight..."

I looked at him. Yes, the trespasser.

For some seconds, he didn't say anything, just looked at me, as if trying to read my mind.

"You're not hurt, are you?"  
That... didn't seem what he was originally going to say.  
I guess I'm not the only one keeping secrets. And I'm definitely not the one that will uncover them.

I nodded.  
He answered with a "good" and went back to reading. Maybe I was just thinking too much into it.

He raised his head again. "Now that I think about it~ Do you have something to wear for when we go to Panthomhive manor~?"

Eh? I thought it wasn't mandatory for me to go?

I think he whispered me a "Just in case" with a secret smile, but I can't read lips, so maybe I'm just imagining things. For all I knew he could have said "bananas are biased".

"I only have these clothes I'm wearing." And my pajamas...  
"My, my~ then I guess we will have to get you some~"  
Uh... I'm not the biggest fan of shopping.  
"I'm fine, you don't have to bring me anywhere."  
"Nonsense! I will call a tailor for you."  
A tailor? Just for me? Definitely not happening.  
"I'm fine really, I don't want you to spend anything on me..."  
"I care not for money, my dear~ I value amusement and laughter far above lifeless coins, and you give me plenty of both."  
He has to be the only one in the whole world who doesn't care about money, then.  
Even I worried about having at least enough money for an emergency.

"Please, you don't have to".  
To bother a poor tailor that could have other things to do than make me clothes seemed unreasonable. Even if it was their job, and they got paid for it.

I wasn't worth it.

I looked at my feet.  
"Please don't buy me anything."  
He blinked. "Why refuse help, when you obviously need it?"  
"I don't need it. If I still need clothes, even if end up not going to see your friends. I... I will think of something."  
I could buy cloth and make them myself, I would need more of my sewing skill and guidance on how to make clothes that fit this era.  
But I could do it, I didn't need help.

"I won't ask anything in exchange, dear, why complicate yourself unnecessarily?"

Even worse.  
If I let him get me things I would feel even more indebted to him than I already felt.

"Then let me pay."  
Undertaker blinked. And smirked.  
"Alright~"

Really? He would let me?

Would I have enough money for it?

Now that I think about it, I had been "working" at Undertaker's shop, but I haven't done much aside from cleaning, and helping him out with the less gross corpses.

I needed to work harder.

I had had the luck to get a job, I wasn't about to waste the opportunity, lazing around wasn't an option.  
I may have been excused because of the cold, but by now I was good enough to actually start pulling my weight.

We hadn't discussed about wages or the form of payment, but I hadn't been doing anything that would merit a payment beyond giving me a roof to sleep under. And I wasn't about to ask more than that, that was enough.  
I could always try to get the money necessary by doing odd quests here and there.  
I just hope I have enough money.

Undertaker was already helping me too much by giving me food and a place to rest, as far as I'm concerned that is payment enough.

But, if I am to pay for my own clothes, I will need to work extra hard, complete quests and earn money.

"How much are we talking about?"

He chuckled.  
"I will be paying it~" he didn't let me start my protest. "AND discount it from your pay as you work for me, is that alright ~?"

Hmmm... I guess...

I nodded unconvincingly.

I tried to reach for Tofu inside my sleeves, but they were empty.

I blinked.

I went to my coffin. Tofu wasn't there.  
Undertaker...

"Tofu."  
"Who's that~?"  
"Give him back."  
"I don't remember taking it~ maybe you left it inside the cookie jar~"

Yeah? That would be the second place I looked. Right after I made sure Undertaker didn't have it on his person.

For once, he didn't have it hidden inside his sleeves, his favorite place to hide Tofu.

Instead I found my hairbrush there.

"Really?"  
"I wonder what was _that_ doing there~?"  
I bypassed all of those wooden sticks he liked carrying around and searched his body under the big robe. it was a little awkward, but I had grown used to it. Somewhat.

I produced a few rosaries, some charms and a little, portable version of the cookie jar. Damn him, so he had a portable stock! That's why he didn't seem worried when I stole his cookies.  
Ah, and I also found my toothbrush.  
That's why I couldn't seem to find it.

"Undertaker, I have little possessions, and if you keep stealing them I will lose what little I still have."  
"He he he~ terribly sorry~"  
He wasn't.

But there was no Tofu in sight.

I had to look inside the cookie jar, I didn't put it past him to hide Tofu in there.

It wasn't there.

But it didn't matter.  
Because as soon as I turned back to Undertaker I found him playing with Tofu in his hands.

I don't know where did he hide it, but apparently I hadn't searched extensively enough.

I snatched my poor clown from Undertaker's prying hands.

"Where were you even hiding it?" He smirked. On second thought. "I don't want to know. Ah, I'll be going out for a while." I wanted to level up a little. Even if it was still cold.  
"Stay away from the east end."  
Eh? "Where's that?"  
Undertaker snorted, amused.  
"Then just stay around here and don't go too far~"  
"Alright. Can I know why?"  
"Let's just say... undesirable things are happening right now, and I wouldn't want you to get involved~"  
Undesirable things? Does this has to do with that Underworld he had pulled me into, but refused to share information about? Not like I _asked_ , but…

"I will not go too far. I will be back shortly. Uhh... bye."  
Well done Dalia, you just managed to turn a perfectly normal conversation into an awkward moment just with two words: "Uhhh" and "bye". New record, I'm sure.

I got out of the shop, as Undertaker giggled and snorted at my goodbye.

Today I wanted to try a new type of dungeon.

' _[Create Instant Dungeon]: Level 4_ _  
_ _Types of dungeons:_ _  
_ _-Create Empty ID._ _  
_ _-Create Zombie ID._ _  
_ _-Create Forest ID._ _  
_ _-Create River ID._ _  
_ _Cost: 20 Mp'_

As my [ID Create] described, I could now make new types of Dungeons: Forest and River.

It wasn't very clear what I could find in those, but seeing as Forest was the first of the two I had unlocked, that had to be the one with the lower leveled monsters of the two.

'Create ID: Forest'

The forest... didn't look like a forest. More like a jungle.

It was still the same place just... trees seemed to have sprouted out of the pebbles, the windows, the doors... everywhere.

Vines creeped up every still object they found. Grass was threatening to swallow the whole city.

It looked like a long since abandoned city.

And I found a squirrel.

I blinked. Oh... how cute-

No! NO! Bad squirrel! Bad squirrel!  
It was a monster, and had just tried to attack me. Those dexterity points were the best idea I ever had.

' _Name: Angry squirrel_ _  
_ _Level: 3_ _  
_ _Health: 1Hp_ _  
_ _Mana: 0Mp_

 _Str: 1_ _  
_ _Vit: 2_ _  
_ _Dex: 8_ _  
_ _Int: 1_ _  
_ _Wis: 1_ _  
_ _Luck: 2_

 _A permanently angry squirrel. Harmless when alone, they sometimes gather into big and dangerous hordes of angry squirrels that make short work of larger foes.'_

Damn with the little thing.

At least this one was alone.  
It didn't seem higher leveled than the Zombies I had been fighting until now.

' _You have gained 200 exp points.'_

They didn't seem to give more experience than the Zombie runners or Zombiettes.

I needed to do some experimenting.

Oh there was something.

' _Name: Earth Golem_ _  
_ _Average Level: 10_ _  
_ _Health: 60Hp_ _  
_ _Mana: 0Mp_

 _Str: 20_ _  
_ _Vit: 25_ _  
_ _Dex: 2_ _  
_ _Int: 1_ _  
_ _Wis: 1_ _  
_ _Luck: 1'_

Level 10! That's higher than the Legion.

That golem... I don't know if I should engage it.

Its health was a whopping 60 Hp. Last time I checked I think I did 10Hp of Damage...  
So technically, if I avoided any hits... I could defeat it with six attacks.

This wouldn't be a good moment to bring back the [Throwing] skill, would it?

I think I did less damage with it, so that's out.  
I will have to practice [Throwing]. Maybe I could use Undertaker as target practice. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.  
Alright, maybe he would, but I'm sure I can think of something.

I got close enough to the Golem.  
These creatures didn't immediately go to me, when I arrived.

Zombies had this… bad tendency to go towards me, without caring if they saw me or not, and if I stay for too long inside the Zombie Dungeon, I can end up with a number of Zombies that would make Zombie hordes in movies look like a joke.

The Golem didn't try to pounce me until I walked into its line of sight. Because this thing, unlike the Zombies, could actually use its eyes.

I attacked, I did 13 Hp of Damage. I don't think it's that bad.

47Hp left.

The Golem didn't appear to like my second attack, which took another 13 Hp, and started hitting the ground aimlessly, trying to get to me.

Thank you, Dalia of the past, for making me put points in Dexterity.  
I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

I managed to get another hit in before the Golem though to use its raised leg to kick me.

I'm not certain I can take one of this thing's attacks, but I didn't want to find out by receiving a hit.

Unluckily, I'm not sure I actually could have avoided the small quake it did, when the leg smashed the ground. Luckily it appeared to only take 9 Hp.

Now I'm starting to think that weapons really are important, as a punny little thing like me was destroying a beast of a Golem that had 20 in strength, just with a frying pan and 5 of strength.

Two more hits and it was dead rubble.  
I got a little scare, as the thing took out a rock and threw it at me.

Luckily, I dodged out in time.  
When I get back to the shop I have to eat some cookies, in honor of Dalia of the past.

' _You have gained 550 exp points.'_

' _You have leveled up by one.'_

Alright, I got a bit hurt, so I shouldn't really chance it with bigger monsters.

I could still sneak around and get a feel for what I could find.

I sneaked past growing trees and destroyed buildings.

I found what looked to be a gnome, but disappeared before I could look at it.

And then I found a plant.  
Eating a deer.

' _Name: Murderous Deer_ _  
_ _Average Level: 8_ _  
_ _Health: 35 Hp_ _  
_ _Mana: 0Mp_

 _Str: 4_ _  
_ _Vit: 18_ _  
_ _Dex: 13_ _  
_ _Int: 1_ _  
_ _Wis: 1_ _  
_ _Luck: 3_ _  
_ _Very loosely related to the pacific animal of the same species, this bloodthirsty beast will kill anything it hears in a 20m radius'_

Well, it seems the deer wasn't a poor innocent animal, after all.

' _Name: Man eating Plant_ _  
_ _Average Level: 12_ _  
_ _Health: 72 Hp_ _  
_ _Mana: 0Mp_

 _Str: 5_ _  
_ _Vit: 25_ _  
_ _Dex: 1_ _  
_ _Int: 1_ _  
_ _Wis: 1_ _  
_ _Luck: 27_ _  
_ _This stationary plant eats not only humans, but any source of meat that gets close enough for the plant to catch and eat._ _  
_ _When devouring a prey it is unable to defend itself.'_

' _[Observe] has leveled up by one.'_

Oh, that's good.

The plant is now vulnerable... well, if the universe is clearly asking me to kill this plant, then it would be very rude not to.

It was higher leveled than the Golem, which meant more experience, but it also meant it took longer for me to kill it.  
Luckily it didn't do anything to defend itself, just like the description said.

I think I have to stop skipping the descriptions of some enemies… like the Golem.

If it wasn't because I saw the deer and the decreasing health bar, I would think I was hitting a normal, overgrown bulb.

' _You have gained 650 exp points'_

The plant disappeared into dust, leaving a half dead deer.

I think at this point the least cruel action would be to end its suffering.

I'm so sorry.

' _You have gained 450 exp points.'_

I... think I'm done for today...

I don't like killing animals.  
Even if they happen to be killer deer.

'Escape ID'

Alright, I needed another book or something to read that could give me wisdom, Intelligence or... well anything at this point.

I... don't think there was any library around here.

I walked a bit, nope, I think the only shops around here are a meat shop, a bakery, a flower shop, a vegetable shop and Undertaker's funeral parlor, of course.

I could go to the place where I saw vegetables being sold and get some potatoes. I could make potato chips. or... _try_ to make potato chips.

I think we were also a bit low on meat, so I could make a stop at the meat shop...

I think I will avoid the bakery for the rest of the week, but especially today.  
I hadn't forgotten the strange, green eyed man that entered the shop.

As I entered the parlor I immediately knew something was amiss.

Cautiously walking to the kitchen I left my purchases there.

No one was there.

Should I...? Nothing good could come from this, but it's not like I can just ignore it.

Sigh, I had to investigate. The first floor was clearly devoid of any living presence besides mine, so whoever had decided to snoop around was upstairs.  
Or the basement.

But I wasn't going near the basement, not in a million years.

I quietly sneaked upstairs.  
The bathroom was empty, so was the small space that connected the stairs, the bathroom and the bedroom.

Undertaker's bedroom was half-opened.

Every time I walked past that room, the door was firmly shut.  
I think I found our trespasser.

I peeked into the room. There was a blonde man in the room. Furiously rummaging through a bedside table.

He seemed to be looking for something, but didn't seem to know what.

On my end, I knew exactly what I had to do.

'Observe'

' _Name: Julius Brown_ _  
_ _Title: Arrogant Fool_ _  
_ _Level: 50_

 _Str: ?_ _  
_ _Vit: ?_ _  
_ _Dex: ?_ _  
_ _Int: 15_ _  
_ _Wis: 1_ _  
_ _Luck: 2_

 _Predominant emotion: Agravattion._

 _Traits:_

 _[Air-Headed]: Grants immunity to [social traits]. -50% [respect] -18% [Intimidation]. Unable to bluff. -5% to [Wisdom]. Gains Exp 10% slower. Incompatible with [Perceptive] and [Genius]._

 _[Oblivious]: Grants immunity to Psychological traits. Is incompatible with [Perceptive]._

 _[Vain]: +10% [Skill] learning after looking at themselves in a mirror, lasts 5h._

 _[Narcoleptic]: the user doesn't gain resting buffs, but they don't gain the -40% to [Skill] learning after too little sleep._

 _[Hydrophobic]: -20% [Skill] learning after swimming or bathing, lasts 1h for a bath, 5h if went swimming. Water related [Skill] are learnt -35% slower._

 _[Impulsive]: -20% to Quality or products. Constantly swayed by their emotions. Permanent +20 to Agravattion._ _  
_ _+20% more likely to receive time-sensitive Quests._

 _[Incomformist]: Always pursuing a higher objective. +20 to Agravattion. +10 to Quality. +30% to new Quests.'_

Julius Brown... he looks a suspicious lot like tonight's Mr. Dimwit.

And apparently... he was an arrogant fool. Now I'm really curious as to what is he even doing in here?  
It doesn't look like he's very smart... but, surely, there had to be a limit to someone's idiocy?

' _[Stealth] Skill has leveled up by one'_ _  
_ _'Stealth Skill has reached its max level.'_ _  
_ _'You have unlocked [I'm invisible!]'_

Wha- oh, I guess I was still being sneaky, and I leveled up...  
And apparently I maxed out my Stealth? And, correct me if I'm wrong, but did I gain an INVISIBILITY skill?

I had to look into that NOW.  
It was a passive Skill.

' _[I'm Invisible!]: Max Level_ _  
_ _Abbreviation of "It feels like I'm invisible!" Permanently gives a -40% to chance of being noticed, even when not actively hiding.'_

Oh, it's not as cool as an actual invisibility Skill... but at least it's useful, I guess?

Well, right now I felt so ignored that I might as well be invisible.

I think that's enough snooping for today. From both ends.  
I faked a cough. "Are you done?"

His head snapped up so quickly that he must have given himself whiplash.

After a second in which he seemed to genuinely consider the question, he answered with a curt "no", and went back to looking through Undertaker's drawers.

So... maybe he's not done snooping for today...

"I would appreciate if you respected someone else's privacy."  
"What, is this yours or something?"  
I blinked. No, it wasn't mine, but that hardly had anything to do with the matter at hand.  
"I don't see how that should change anything, which is you looking through someone else's belongings without permission."

He stopped rummaging to quietly curse at himself. "So _it is_ yours. Damn, and this is the only bedroom in the house. Did I get it wrong after all? Hey, you, woman! Are you married?"  
Wha- "No, how does that-"  
"Damn! Maybe he doesn't live here then... I know I shouldn't have trusted them..."  
And just like that he jumped out of the window.

He. Jumped. Out. Of the WINDOW.

I ran to look out of the window. Surprisingly he didn't become a dirty splatter against the floor. Instead he jumped ACROSS ROOFTOPS until he was out of sight.

What.

' _Detect Presence has leveled up by one.'_

Of course.

I turned to look at Undertaker, who was resting against the doorframe with a solemn expression.

"I'm really sorry, but I will need an explanation for that."


	9. Chapter 8

**Wah! All of your reviews really made my day! It made me really happy to see so many people were enjoying how I portrayed Undertaker.**

 **I will try to answer your reviews as I can. Thank you all for supporting my story, seriously, you are the best, all of you.**

 **PenguinQueenSan: I'm glad my story was enjoyable, I really put a lot of effort into writing every chapter until I feel satisfied.**

 **jj510: I sure know what you mean, it's the same shriek I have been making while reading all the reviews. And even writing the answers.**

 **redorlem1: Everything for the sweets!**

 **Tsuki: here it is!**

 **Guadadominguez4: Don't worry, I understand spanish no problem. There's still a lot to do before either even considers starting a relationship with** **the other, but don't worry, if it turns out there's chemistry, they will end up together. Most of the time the characters end up doing whatever they please, ignoring any planning I try to do. I'm rooting for them, though.**

 **The timeline will follow that of the manga, as the story takes place a few years before Sebastian and Ciel meet, but once it gets to it, it's free game.  
In that note, I have to say that there _will_ be spoilers, as in this very chapter. I tried to avoid them, but my characters like to make my life difficult.**

 **Sakuraemma31: Waah! It makes me really happy you think like that! Althouh I don't think I'm the best (there are a lot of wonerful fanfictions out there) I will try to be up to the expectations!**

 **Kitca: I'm glad you like my fic, I try to keep the characters in... well, character, but it's not always easy. The plot will be slowly revealed, as Dalia doesn't seem very eager to advance it, but in a few more chapters she will get to it. Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: Black Butler is and never was mine, I'm not Yana Toboso. (sadly)**

 **WARNING! There's spoilers of the chapter 129 of the manga. If you haven't read that yet and decide to read anyway, be prepared to wear a very confused face.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Sitting in a coffin, silence surrounded the whole shop.

This had to be the most uncomfortable moment I shared with Undertaker yet.

He hadn't said anything, just led me outside his bedroom, and sat me in my coffin, downstairs. He sat right in front of me.

"So... are you going to spill the beans?" It wasn't in my nature to try to pry secrets from someone. But when said someone's secrets had prevented me from getting a good night sleep, had brought a stranger that invaded the place I cohabitated with the previously mentioned someone _twice_ , and just defied the laws of physics, I think I was entitled to a little explanation.

"He he~ normally, I would say it's a secret... but since you have amused me so much, I'm willing to reach an agreement~."  
An agreement.

It was better that the great amount of _nothing_ I have been fed until now.

I nodded my head silently, waiting for him to explain of what would consist said "agreement".

"It's simple, really~ we could even make it a game~. I will ask a question and you answer truthfully. You ask a question and I answer truthfully~ How does that sound ~?"  
Awfully suspicious, if you ask me.

"How many questions do we get? And... Define 'truthfully'."

"He he he~ we can make a round and decide afterwards if we want another one~ both of us have to agree~."

I had noticed he hadn't explained what he understood as 'truthfully'. I narrowed my eyes.

He complied. "Truthfully would mean not disguising any lies, or facts that we know are wrong as if they were the truth."  
That... doesn't help any. What if he says something that he knows is wrong, doesen't bother disguising it as truth, but by the moment in which it was told, implies that said lie is a truth?

Sigh... well, it doesen't matter, it's not like I have anything to hide, right?

Oh, yeah, I have.

So... what if he asked about... how I arrived here? Or where I was from?  
This was a horrible moment to spill the beans. At the same time, it was the perfect time to spill the beans.

If I avoided the question or lied, it would be terrible if he found out. And he would.  
I wasn't delusional enough to believe lies could be kept forever.

I petted Tofu, breathing in.

I would tell the truth.

If he didn't stumble into the subject, as unlikely as that was, I would bring it up afterwards by myself. No more hiding.

No skirting your way around the subject this time, Dalia. This is a crucial moment.

"Can I- can... can I ask first?" I was scared damnit. I was terrified that, when I told him, he wouldn't believe me, just like Kim hadn't believed me at first, but instead of taking it as a joke, he would think I was crazy or I was trying to make a fool out of him and decided to kick me out.

I don't know if I could take that from the only nice person I met since arriving here.

He got up, and for a moment I thought he was going to leave, just like Kaito, without reason or explanation, and almost threw myself at him. Almost.

I realized just in time that, instead of leaving, he was moving closer, until he sat next to me on my coffin, rather than across me.

He didn't say anything, but started petting my head.

He had such long nails... and they were black as death... I cannot understand how he manages to keep his nails as long as he has. It has to be a hassle, when treating his guests.

"I..." alright, let's start of something easy... no need to immediately go to the throat.

"Why was that man... following... uh... spying... ehh... what did he want with you?"

Because at this point it was obvious I wasn't his target.

"Mhhh... ~well~" he drawled out the "well" unnecessarily in a singsong voice, but it seemed more as a way to give himself time to think, than any attempt at teasing. "I do not know _what_ exactly he wanted, but it's not unusual for strange people to try to enter my shop~. We could say I... have a little _side business_ ~ to help a... certain someone, so people may sometimes want to... _snoop_ around to try to get that information before I pass it on~ he he."

Err... what?

That was unnecessarily vague. Is this about... the Underworld thing?  
So... he sold information? Well... that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, when I originally thought about the Underworld and the black market.

That could explain why that man was trying to snoop around.

But it still doesn't explain why Mr. Dimwit could jump from rooftop to rooftop without falling or breaking his knees.

Sigh... of course. I had asked what that man had wanted with him, not why Mister Dimwit could apparently laugh at the law of physics' face and end up unscathed.

So I lost my question. At least I had managed to get Undertaker to somewhat admit to his membership of the Underworld. Somewhat.

But that at least meant I could try to ask him a little more about it, without getting a face full of "I don't know what you're talking about~".  
Yes, I consider that an expression particular of Undertaker. He had pulled it on enough times when he stole Tofu to claim exclusivity.

It basically amounted to a mix between "I know something you don't" and "you know exactly what's going on, but you can't prove it".

It was particularly infuriating.

"So~ My Question~..." I mentally prepared myself to try to unravel the mess that was my ability and how I arrived here.

I had a full three seconds of anticipation on how he would ask the question, in which I felt an imperious necessity to bang my head against a wall for my stupidity. Why had I agreed to this?

In fact I was so prepared to answer his question truthfully, that when he actually formulated his question, I was thrown off of a loop.

"How did you get that clown~?"

Eh?

I... wasn't expecting that.

I was so surprised, that my mouth took over and automatically answered, as my brain had farted and wasn't currently responding.

"It was given to me by a friend."

He tilted his head. "Can I know more about this friend?"

Alright, now he was asking more questions than agreed on. That's unfair, considering he barely answered my question.

But... he had asked such an innocuous question, that I almost felt that I had been the one who had gotten the most information out of our game. And that was pathetic, because I had gotten a half-assed hint about a question I wasn't that interested in.

I nodded. "After you answer one more question of mine, I can tell you everything I know."

He blinked.

What? He didn't think I would notice him sneaking another question by? Or he wasn't expecting me to give my information so readily?  
I had no problem sharing what I knew, if he asked. I had a little more problem if he didn't even ask. Cough.

This game was mostly so I could make some sense out of all this madness. I didn't have any problem with telling him whatever he wanted to know. If it wasn't too personal.

Well, I was starting to consider him a friend, and even trusting him, so if he asked a personal question, I would try to answer, or at least explain I wasn't comfortable sharing that information, if that was the case.

"Eh... my question is... who... No, scratch that. _What_ was that Mister Dimwit?"

"Mister Dim-? He he ha ha ha ha ha" He snorted and... started laughing.

He was crying and rolling on the floor and everything.

A little overdramatic, if you ask me. I knew I shouldn't have called him that out loud. But it's not like I could use his name.

For starters because he hadn't introduced himself, I wasn't supposed to know it.

Second, because I already forgot.

"Just... answer please..." I knew it wasn't the most flattering nickname, but he hadn't made a good first impression.

"He he he he~ of course~ although... I have to ask, what makes you think he is not human?"

I stared at him, not saying anything. That idiot had JUMPED out of a freaking WINDOW. I think the answer should be obvious.

"He he~ alright~..."

He didn't say anything for a while.

I gave him his time.

As long as it was the truth, I will try to believe him.

"You see, after death... what do you know about souls?"

Err... what everyone knows? Or at least what the religion in my time likes to preach about it.

Is he trying to sneak another question?

Maybe he needs me to answer that question to answer mine?

"Eh... inmortal soul... bla bla bla… heavy souls are bad and go to hell, lighter souls are good and go to heaven... eh… bla bla bla… be good, avoid making deals with demons, don't steal, kill or whatever... eh... Something about the end of times"

He blinked.

"Well… you are not _entirely_ wrong~. You see, after death, there are beings that judge if a soul goes to hell or heaven. Those beings are called Shinigami, Grim Reapers or Death Gods."

Didn't Mister Dimwit say something about Shinigami? The god of death? I...

I will keep listening, and then decide if I should believe this.

"The Shinigami judge the souls, collecting the souls and the 'cinematic records' a... recollection of that human's life, so that the Shinigami can judge the soul." He smiled, crossing his fingers in front of him, resting his chin on them.

"So... you're saying that Mister Dimwit is the Grim Reaper." Like... the actual God of Death.

Mister Dimwit. A Reaper.

I don't think I have stressed this enough, let me try again.

Mister Dimwit. Is. A Shinigami.

 _Mister Dimwit. Is. The Grim Reaper._

Alright. Enough.

Let's say that Mister Dimwit has a mental... situation that makes him _believe_ he is a Shinigami and that he can collect souls or do whatever Grim Reapers do.

Along with a previous... circus career that would allow him to jump like a spring...

...And he is now working in the Underworld and somehow after Undertaker's information.

…

That still doesn't explain, how does Undertaker even know all that?

"Yes~ although I am aware he is not the best example of such beings~."

Oh, great. So there's more than one Grim Reaper.

"How do you even know that?"

"Ah ah ah~ I believe you owe me an answer first~" His playfully singsong voice threw me off.

Eh? Ah! Tofu.

I took a breath.

I didn't really like to think about the circumstances in which I obtained Tofu.

"Ah... Let's see… It's simple really. Poor boy meets lonely girl, they become friends..."

I may be dumbing this down an awful lot, but for what he seemed to want to know, that was enough. "And... huh... well, he leaves..." I don't think I am explaining this as I should. I looked downwards, avoiding his stare.

Sigh... "Let me start over... I was a friendless, lonely girl… one day I met a poor boy named Kaito near a stable. He didn't have any family, just some dogs as friends. So we became friends..." we used to play and run and laugh and steal.

Well, he did the stealing, I usually distracted the shopkeepers or sneaked around.

Those were the happiest days of my early life. They weren't easy, but I was happy.

"Then one day..." I looked at Undertaker, as much as I liked to compare him with Kaito, they weren't that similar.

A little resemblance here and there, thanks to their unusual hair and tendency to hide their eyes. But they were worlds apart, like comparing the sun and the moon, just because they are both in the sky.

"...he left. I don't know where or why... he didn't say goodbye or if he would ever come back... he just... disappeared." My only friend, left me and I didn't know why, or if he was alright. "Then, years later, he came back." I saw undertaker blink, surprised. I smiled.

"He came back and gave me this clown." I looked at Tofu again. "He didn't tell me where he got it, just that he obtained it in a... expedition or something. He had made a new life. He said something stupid about how thankful he was, that I was there for him, asked me to forgive him for leaving…

But he couldn't stay. And he said that, this time, he wouldn't come back. He had a new life outside of our friendship, and..." and I didn't.

I was so hurt. I felt like he was an asshole for leaving without saying anything.

Then he had the gall to come back to rub in how well he was now. I was happy for him. I truly was. But at the same time... I was angry. Furious. How dare he leave and find happiness without me. How dare he leave me in that hellhole to selfishly pursue a brighter future for himself?

How dare he come back to say how happy he was now and then leave without me? Without taking me with him. I was still unhappy. I was still lonely. I was still scared. Why couldn't we be back to being friends? Why couldn't he take me with him?

"He gave Tofu to me. Said something about how it was the first thing he got from his new lifestyle… …That it would bring me courage to face my own destiny, or carve a new one of my own..."

Tofu... represented my potential to change.

I couldn't have a life without Tofu.

With no change, I couldn't have any hope.

With no change, I would remain a coward forever.

I had hated change, for some time. Because change took Kaito away from me.

Now... I accept change... for it brought Kim and Kala to me. And... Change may have taken Kim and Kala from me now, but I could still get them back, thanks to change.

And change brought Undertaker to me... Or me to Undertaker. Semantics.

"I'm sorry if it didn't help, I don't know where Kaito got it from, but... it's very important to me."

"I'm a Shinigami."

Eh?

"Eh?"

And... There he goes. Laughing.

Probably at me.

"Wai- Wait! What was that!? Come back here!"

Here I was, all emotional and everything, and suddenly this guy just opens his big mouth and all the mood is gone.

"Can you repeat that? Come on, stop laughing!"

Damn old man. I hope he goes bald.

I grabbed him by his hair to prevent him from rolling away. Although I didn't really get anything out of him until he stopped laughing, I didn't want him to escape before I got the chance to clarify what he just said.

Because if I wasn't mistaken he just said he was a god.

And that couldn't be.

Right?

Well, technically living life like a videogame wasn't possible either, and I was doing it. I'm sure I was doing it wrong, but I was doing it.

"Hey... 'taker... you said you're... a shinigami?"

"He he he~ yes, my dear~ hi hi~"

"What does that mean?"

"What do you mean? ~"

"I mean... I... uh... I don't know, you tell me."

"He he he~"

So...

Supernatural God of Death.

But... he had acted quite human until now... he was a badass, but he could have been a human badass.

Did he need to sleep? I hadn't seen him sleep, but he did have his own room and privacy. Did he need to eat, or it was a luxury? Did he even go to the bathroom?

...

I'm not asking him that, that's just like asking him to laugh at my face.

Even if I did kind of want to know.

Not the bathroom thing, I can live without knowing that.

I took a deep breath. Well, I guess we both came clean with each other. Except for one small, insignificant detail.

As it seemed our game was now over, and Undertaker didn't bring the subject of how I arrived here, I guess it is time, for me to spill this last one secret.

I was taking his word, in believing he was a Grim Reaper. The least he could do is try to believe me when I inevitably told him I wasn't from this time.

Were my hands trembling? I think they were.

Come on Dalia! This is your chance.

You consider him somewhat of a friend, you both just went through a healthy amount of honesty, and now it's your time to tell him something he wouldn't believe.

…

You cowardly piece of human being, I swear if I let this conversation end without telling Undertaker of how I came here I will... eat his hat!  
I can't eat mine, I don't have any.

"Uh... one last thing..." "Yes~?"

The door opened.

"Give me your hat." He blinked.

"Eh~?"

I didn't wait for him to process the request, and snatched it from his head, chomping on it.

"Ahhh! My hat! Little Liaaa~ if you were hungry you could have said something~ I would have made cookies~"

Leave me. I'm atoning for my sins.

Undertaker had to tend to the customer without his hat.

I entered my coffin and just laid inside, closing the lid so the sounds of conversation wouldn't bother me.  
I was a coward. Of course, when I needed to come clean the most, the universe would somehow align so I would be unable to do what I had set myself to do.

Coward. Coward. Coward!

It's always like this... no matter if I have something to say or not, if I want to actually speak up for myself, always, without fail, I would either be too much of a coward to give my opinion or I took too long and the opportunity passed me by.

Life waits for no one.

A knock on the coffin.

"Leaf mbeee..." I still had his hat on my mouth.

"I need my hat little Lia~ ... are you crying?"

"Nfoooo"

"Now, now, what did I tell you about lying?"

I sniffed. "Noft tho?"

I don't actually remember a conversation like that, but it seems like the most rational answer.

Undertaker opened the lid of the coffin. Barely enough so he could peek inside.

I turned away from him.

"Now~ little Lia~ none of that~ come on out~" Yeah, sure, just because you said so, right?  
No way, I'm staying in here.

Undertaker finally pried the lid completely open, dragging me outside of my self-imposed confinement.

Hisss.

Too much light.

Too much feels.

Undertaker finally got his hat back and away from my teeth, which he set down aside after a glance. It was covered in my saliva.

Wrapping his arms around me, he asked: "What is wrong little Lia~? I don't like seeing someone that gives me so much laugh crying. It's like losing the world to me~"

Uhh...

I may be currently using him as a comfort pillow, with me hugging him desperately, sitting inside his lap. His robes made a black nest of protection and warmth.

"I'm a coward..."

"I'm afraid I do not understand, my dear~" Well, at least he didn't deny the claim. At least he had the decency not to lie to my face.

"I wanted... uhh... sniff... uhh..." not even now I could tell him. I was such a coward.  
The words were not coming to me.

How could I explain myself without words?

With Kim... I hadn't needed words... an expression, a small gesticulation, a tilt of the head... it was enough for her to know what I needed.

It was experience that came with knowing each other.

I hadn't been living with Undertaker long enough for him to understand my small gestures. I needed to use words.

But it was so hard...

"I want to... sniff..."

"Take your time, dear~" he started petting my hair, in an attempt to calm me.

He was too nice to me... I didn't deserve it... I really didn't...

"Before I came here... before I got lost... sniff... I don't know how... but... something strange happened... and wuhh... sniff... sniff... I think it's related to how I came here... sniff... but it's so unbelievable that I didn't think anyone would believe me... sniff... wuhhh..."

"I just told you I am not human, what strange thing could have happened for you to think I wouldn't believe you~?"

Yeah, that's the hard part. It was easy to explain to Kim, I could just say something along the lines of: I'm living life like a videogame.

Here videogames don't exist. Yet.

"I don't know... it's like... information? But it's not... I don't know how to explain it and it makes me feel even worse... wuuuuh..." I think I should give up every pretense of me not crying, because at this point I did begin to cry. I was a mess.

And I was making a mess of undertaker, too. I attempted to minimize the damage to his clothes by pulling away, but he wasn't having any of that.  
Which was good. Right now I didn't have my priorities straight.

"Why don't you start from the beginning, dear? I find that to be the easiest place to start explaining an event."

* * *

"... and when I pressed yes I found myself in London... sniff... in the streets... and I think I'm not... I think this is not my time..."

It was silent for a while.

Undertaker seemed to be thinking his words carefully.

"Well, you were right, in being quite an unbelievable story. And quite difficult to explain, too~. So you shouldn't berate yourself too much for not being able to quickly explain things~." He playfully tapped my nose.

I nodded against his chest. I had stopped crying, but sniffles were a curse I could not get myself easily rid of.

He was too nice. I knew it was unlikely he would believe me just because, but he had decided to comfort me, rather than pointing out my strange story.

"Do you have any way you can prove this... game video power?"

I don't think so... no, well, I _can_ prove it... I could take something out of my inventory, or I could try to bring him with me to a Dungeon.

I knew it was possible, I had done it with Kala.

Sniffling, I nodded my head.

I tried to get up, but I was firmly secured inside a cocoon made of Undertaker's robe, arms and legs.

I might have lost my legs in that mess. Is that one of them? Ah no, that leg is Undertaker's.  
Well, I guess this is my life then.

I smiled softly.

It was nice.

"I can... bring you to a Dungeon... it's like... an alternative reality, with small variations... sniff... uh... there's monsters there..."

A raised eyebrow. "Monsters?"

I nodded. "Not in all of them... there's an empty one... and I... I slept there..."

Fortunately he didn't ask, just nodded, hugging me tighter.

"Create...sniff..." which one would be the best one to show Undertaker? The empty one didn't have any monsters, and except for the lack of sound and people, it was exactly the same as reality. In the zombie ID was always night, with a red moon.

The forest ID had trees. Trees everywhere.

I hadn't been to the River ID.  
Call me crazy, but I was expecting water.

Forest or Zombie?

We were inside the shop, unless we got out, it would be quite hard to notice the difference of the Zombie ID.

The Forest was the better option.

"... Create Forest ID"

And just like that, reality bent and we were suddenly in a maze of roots and vines. It was still the shop, but it seemed to have been invaded by every plant in existence.  
I wonder how the flower shop in front of the parlor looks like, under the influence of the Forest ID.

Undertaker had tensed for half a second, and if I hadn't been literally on his lap I wouldn't have noticed.

"Well, dear Dalia, you certainly surprise me..."

A shiver ran down my spine.

It was the first time he called me by my full name. Not a pet name, not little lia. Dalia.

I looked at him, but he wasn't looking at me.

He... wasn't angry, was he?

Why did he use my full name, now? Had I done something bad?  
By now, I was expecting backlash of any sort, but he just kept gawking at his shop.

He always used pet names... was this even Undertaker? Had someone kidnapped him and was now impersonating him? Maybe when that customer came...

I was suspiciously eyeing him. He looked the same... silvery white, longer than life hair, a scar running across his face, from his left eye to his right cheek.  
His hair had moved out of place, after our cuddling session.

Alright, not calling it that, it was embarrassing.

His hair was out of place, after his repeated hugs in an attempt to bring me out of my self-deprecating state.  
Slightly better. There's still room for improvement, but good enough for now. Cuddling session, what was I thinking?

I got a very close sight of his face. I had to say... he was freaking attractive.

That would explain why he was such an ass.

I really don't understand why he hides his eyes, besides his scar, it's not like he has any imperfection that would force him to hide his face. Even the scar didn't take away from his beauty.

Except for maybe his unnatural eyes.

I was so close, that I could make out two colors inside his iris, clearly separated as rings of sorts. A forest green on the inside, a yellowish green in the outer ring.

They were captivating eyes.

The eyes turned to me.  
Filled with amusement.

"Enjoying yourself~?"  
I nodded. "Stay still, I'm not done yet."

Despite what I just said he literally started snickered and laughing, and, as it was normal when it came to laughing, he made a show out of it, rolling and trashing, despite the fact that I was literally sitting on top of him.

That should have restricted his movements a little. But he was a badass, so apparently that meant he could still trash and laugh like a madman, as if I weighted nothing.

"Ahh~ just keep doing that from time to time and I might die from laughter~"  
I doubt that will happen, he's like... death itself.

Or something.

"I will take it as my motivation."

His giggles kicked up again.  
Really, I don't even know what to do with this man.

God.

Whatever.

Technically, if he was death, did it mean he didn't die from old age? So he could still be considered an old man, right?

Yes, the 'old man' nickname is back! Not that it ever left in the first place...

Although it feels a little bit less satisfying, as he looks a more or less my age. A little more than less, but not too far.

And half of his older appearance was caused by the white hair.

Gosh I loved his hair, I wish he would go bald so I could keep all his hair, while he wallows in despair.

...

Just saying.

So… now he could see we were in a parallel dimension or something.

What else could I show him of my abilities? The Inventory… and… well, I guess the main reason why I found out I had this ability was because of the alert box…

"But only I can see the alerts..." Oh? Oh! "Wait, Wait, Wait, I'm having an idea" I gripped both sides of my head, as if it would prevent the idea from escaping before I could establish it inside my head.

"It looks like it hurts~" Undertaker was barely containing his giggles. Well... no, he wasn't containing his giggles at all.

"Shhhh..." I needed concentration.

…

Yes!

I could try to form a party with him! That should technically... do something. I don't exactly understand what being in a party could imply, but I'm sure that it would at least avoid us from getting separated.

Wouldn't want to get out of the Dungeon and accidentally leave him trapped inside.

And it should show him an alert, right?

"We have to create a party."

"What are we celebrating~?"

Eh? "Not that kind of party... I meant... you know what, I will... just go ahead and try to make one. If it works I'll invite you."

Alright. How to create a party.

…

No idea.

Let's just try the most obvious method. "Create party"

' _Introduce a name for your party.'_

"Hey, it works!"

' _Do you want to name the party "Hey, it works"?' Y/N_

Uhhh... well... I hadn't intended to do that, but... well I'll leave it just like that.  
Creativity is overrated.

Yes

"Ehh... invite Undertaker to party."

A green box appeared right in front of Undertaker's nose, who had been leaning towards me, trying to see something he couldn't see.

His head snapped back so quickly I didn't see the movement.

A second he was right by my side, the next he was two feet farther away, looking directly at the box right in front of his eyes.

"Is this what you see, little Lia~?"

At least he was back to calling me by pet names. Good. I don't think I have ever been that worried or scared to hear my name. No, that's not actually true. Right off of my head I can remember a few times.

Correction: I have never been so worried or scared to hear my name since I got transported back in time.

Eh... good enough, I guess.

"So, I accept~?" "Please." "And if I don't want to~?"  
His loss then. I wasn't going to make him, but I don't see how that would help any. I raised an eyebrow.

"Come on~ I don't even know what your meaning of a party is~ for all I know you could be making me accept a contract to give up my soul~ hi hi~"

Well he did have a point. I nodded.

"A party is when a group of people-"

"I already accepted."

"Wha- AT LEAST LET ME FINISH!" I was just _about_ going to explain it to him!

What the hell, 'taker.

He giggled, snickered and laughed. Probably at me.

' _Undertaker has joined the party "Hey it works".'_

"I like the name by the way~ hi hi hi~."

Bastard, I hope he goes bald.

"A _party_ is a group of people that group together to accomplish something, usually to defeat a boss monster, or complete a mission. I made it just in case we get separated in here."

"Boss~? And how does a party help with getting lost~?"

Huh... I wasn't an expert on parties, alright?

But there should be something like a party interface, or something similar.

"Party"

' _Current party: 'Hey, it works.'  
Leader: Dalia Lvl 14  
Members: Dalia Lvl 14, Undertaker Lvl 210.  
Attributes: None.  
Experience Sharing: No  
Goal: None'_

...

I did a double take.

…

SAY WHAT.

Undertaker... was level WHAT.

That's...

Oh my goodness…

I looked at him. He was looking at my party window.

"Heh~ it seems I can see your floating boxes now~ he he"

"I... see..."

Level 210.

He wasn't just a badass.

He was THE badass.

He was a freaking monster.

How in the name of cookies did he even get his level so high?  
"Can I praise you as the god of leveling?"

"Eh? ~ I would prefer not~."

Praise him, praise him.

...

I can use his high level to level up myself.

He he he.

"Mhhh~? What's with that devious smile you have there~? It looks like something I won't like~"

Naw... I wasn't going to use him... but, damn, I really wanted to.

"Can you do the same as me now? Like... uhh... open your stats or skills... or inventory... or something?"

"How do I do that~?"

"Ah... just thinking 'stats' or saying it out loud works for me... I guess it would be the same for you?"

"Stats, is it~?" A Nod "Stats."

Another box appeared in front of undertaker's nose.

"It works..."

"So it seems~"

...

I was deliberately NOT looking at his stats. I'm not sure I could take the blow to my pride.

And... Well, it wasn't nice to snoop around without permission. I wasn't Mr. Dimwit.  
Let's just forget I previously used Observe on him. At the time I hadn't know it would reveal information so... personal.  
Now that I knew, so I wasn't about to peek. Unless he let me. Gosh I wish he would let me.

"What does this mean, little Lia~?"

He was pointing at his level.

"It's... a numerical approximation of how strong you are. Your level is really high, so it means that you are really strong."

He made a small 'o' shape with his lips. "And this~?"

"I'm not sure what the Mp do... but from what I have found, you need them to use certain abilities... like..." how to explain this?  
"If you are really tired or have low Stamina, you can't run as long as if you just woke up. Similarly, if you have low Mp, you can't use as much abilities or for as long as if your Mp was full."

I... think it made sense, didn't it?

It was like Stamina, but with a magic twist.

He nodded, so he must have understood.

"And this~?"

"Do you want me to explain everything?"

"Yes please~ he he he"

Sigh, he could have started there.

'[Name]: Undertaker

[Title]: Wandering Ankou  
[Race]: Shinigami  
Lvl 210  
Exp: 64%  
Hp: 12284/12284  
Mp: 8719/8719'

"That's your name, title... race... level, Hp and Mp. I don't think I have to explain your name. The title sometimes gives you benefits, like... letting you sleep in coffins..."

"Talking from experience~?"

"I already explained the Level and Mp. The Hp is your Health Points, it's how healthy your body currently is."

"I noticed you didn't answer~"

'Strength: 241 (185+56)

Vitality: 244 (224+20)

Dexterity: 289 (275+13)

Intelligence: 182 (173+9)

Wisdom: 163 (112+6+45)

Luck: 41 (59-18)'

"Those are your stats, it's like the level... but for certain aspects. Like... uh... If you are really strong, your Str, which means Strength, is higher. The same applies to Vitality, Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom and Luck. The equations next to your actual stats is the representation of how your base stat, which is the first number of the equation, is being affected by your traits, or other status. Questions?"

"Yes, why didn't you answer~? Am I perhaps right~?"

"Dexterity is how agile you are and how fast your reflexes are."

"I'll take that as a yes~"

"These here are your traits. Traits are like... certain aspects of your personality, which sometimes affect how you interact with others, or how fast you learn something... or... well, sometimes it affects your stats."

And that's what I was uncertain if he would want me to see.

He looked at them for a while. Then at me expectantly.

Alright...

'[Shinigami]: +30% Str +40% Wis -30% Luc +40% Vit. +20 Health'

"Because you are a Shinigami you have certain benefits to strength, wisdom, Vitality and health, which humans for example don't have. Although being a Shinigami apparently also makes you have less luck. I wonder why? So not all changes are good."

'[Excentric]: +5% to [Inteligence] for every level, inventions are +10% quality. -8% [Relationship] with [Civilian]. +8% [Intimidation] to [Civilian]. [Technological Skills] are learnt +10% faster.'

"This trait for example, says you are quite the oddball."

"He he he~ I don't see that written anywhere~"

"Well, it actually says you learn Skills related to technology faster, and your Intelligence also raises faster. And looks like Civilians are a bit intimidated by you."

"Awww~"

'[Perceptive]: +35% chance of learning another's [Psycological trait], +5% to [Wisdom].'

"This one helps you gain more Wisdom, and it gives you a chance to find out more about someone, I suppose faster than usual."

'[Famous]: Gains +20% [Relationship] for every interaction.'

"Ahh... and apparently you are famous? How is that even possible?"

"He he~ It's a secret~"

'[Dedicated]: +30% of getting extra quests. +20 to [Relationship]. If failure to complete quest then -10% to [Skill] learning. -Partially Blocked-'

"I don't know what this 'partially blocked' means. Maybe you only get some of the benefits? Or you only get them at a specific moment? It means you get more work than usual, because you like your job."

"I love my job~"

'[Fun Loving]: +10% to [Quests], +15% to [Skill] learning when having fun.'

"I don't think I have to explain this one to you."

"Hehehe~"

'[Belongs to the Underworld]: -40% to [Relationships] in the [Civilian], -50% [Respect] from [Civilian], +15% [Respect] from other [Underworld]. +60% [Respect] to [Watchdog of the Queen].'

"I don't understand this one, but I think it has to do with what you said earlier... from what I saw there's three... Eh... I don't know what to call it. But you're either a Civilian, a part of the Underworld, or something in the middle. I don't know what the differences are, but the ones with this trait, and the ones in the middle, have access to a market or something. I don't know how or why, though.  
The rest... basically the Civilians and the ones with this trait don't get along. I have no idea what the last thing means."

He didn't say anything. Just looked at the box with an unreadable expression.

'[Natural Leader]: + 20% of successful order-giving. Gives others around a +20% in [Skill] learning and [Trait] learning.'

"Eh... I would like to object to this, but... well, this thing is probably broken."

Finally, he came out of his deep though process and smirked.

"He he he~ do I look that bad of a leader ~?"

"Yes."

"He he he~ ouch~ my heart, little Lia~ its breaking~ hi hi hi~"

'[Herculean]: +20 to [Vitality]. +5% to [Dexterity].'

"I have this one too. It just means that you have a harder time getting out of shape, have more vitality and your dexterity increases more easily."

'[World weary]: After too much experience of a particular way of life, the user loses enthusiasm in said aspect of life.

Permanent -40 Happiness -60 Energetic'

"This one affects your mood. I haven't really looked too much into moods and how they affect someone, but uh... well, it's self-explanatory."

Undertaker had seemed increasingly uncomfortable, since I explained the Underworld trait. But now was actively frowning.

"Aww~ I feel exposed~"

"Eh... Sorry..."

"He he he~ let's look into something else~"

"Uhh... maybe skills? Or... Inventory?"

"Inventory~?"

"It's like having your own pocket dimension to store things."

He blinked.

"You have your own dimension."

"Inventory."

I took out my frying pan, and offered it to him.

He examined it for a moment.

"Well, I'm surprised~ I didn't take you as a frying pan woman~"

What does that even mean!?

I glared at him.

"What does that mean?"

'Charm Increased by one.'

We both stared at the alert.

He smirked.

I felt myself go red.

Fuuuuuuuuu...

I glared at the offensive box.

Burn you little...

"He he he~ awww~ so cute~"

"I'm not cute!"

A rustle not too far away drew my attention away from the offending alert.

It was a gnome.

"A gnome!"

"A _What_?"

"Observe!"

' _Name: Rabid Dwarf_

 _Average Level: 5_

 _Health: 5 Hp_

 _Mana: 7 Mp_

 _Str: 3  
Vit: 4  
Dex: 3  
Int: 6  
Wis: 4  
Luck: 6  
A Dwarf that left its mine in rage because of its horrible working conditions. Looking for anything to beat up to let off steam.'_

"Oh, it's a Dwarf, not a Gnome."

Suddenly the Dwarf ran away. In seconds it was obvious as to why.

A real _tsunami_ of angry squirrels jumped out of the trees, bushes... anywhere and everywhere, running after the escaped Dwarf. Looks like it picked on the wrong punching bag.

I gawked.

"Can we go home...?"

Undertaker didn't answer. Instead he opted for bellowing loudly. In laughter.

At least half the squirrels stopped dead in their pursuit of the Dwarf, and turned to us like the little murder machines they were.

"Ehh... 'Taker... really... we should go..." I was futilely trying to pull on his sleeve to call his attention, as I couldn't drag him by his robes, as loose as he was currently wearing them. He would slip right out of them.

Right now, I only pray that the passive ability [I'm invisible] helps me survive this.

Just in case I took a step behind Undertaker. Frying pan in my hand, just in case.

Screech.

The squirrels jumped at us, being immediately thrown back by Undertaker who had made a miraculous recovery.

Ah, no, scratch that, he was still laughing.

"He he he he~ I never thought some squirrels would give me this much fun~"

He got his bangs out of his eyes, where they seemed to fall every time he so much as moved, and with one of the wooden thingies with Japanese inscriptions he seemed to always carry around, he wiped out all of the squirrels that jumped at us.

The squirrels disappeared in a cloud of dust before even touching the ground.

The remaining squirrels barely seemed to understand they were completely overwhelmed, and tried to jump at us again.

The ones that did were obliterated on the spot, the rest turned to the place where the Dwarf had disappeared, finally taking the hint.

And ran in pursuit, once again.

Sigh... at least that had been a dodged bullet.

"Little Lia~ can you help me with this~?"

Oh my goodness.

I had to bring a hand in front of my mouth so he wouldn't see me laughing at him. Not that he could see anything.

His whole face was covered by _bazillions_ of alerts about how much experience he gained. One per squirrel.

Finally giving up, I laughed.

I couldn't help it.

I don't know why his alerts are so determined to appear right in front of his nose, instead of the one feet distance that was between my own alerts and my eyes, but damn, it was hilarious.

"He he he. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... he he he It's just... ha ha ha ha... I'm so sorry..."

I couldn't stop laughing.

I felt a bit mean, the two times I laughed since I got here, and both were at his face.

"He he he~ don't worry, my dear~... just take them off..."

I started closing windows in front of his face. Once he wasn't completely covered by the alerts, he started helped closing them, after I showed him how.

Surprisingly he didn't level up. Of course, he was incredibly highly leveled already, so it would be obvious, it would take him longer to level up.

"I had a lot of fun~ but I believe the tailor won't take much longer, until it arrives~"

"Today comes the tailor?" I whined. "I don't wanna..."

"He he he~ as cute as that face is, I'm afraid I can't do anything about it~ you need clothes~ and it takes some time to make them~."

I grumbled.

"Alright... but we have to come back so I can level up. And you have to come, so I don't get trashed."

He smirked.

"I wouldn't want to miss it for the world~"

Damn, I don't think he's going to help me level up.

* * *

Undertaker was holding me in his lap like one holds a particularly cute doll.

"Aren't you happy~ you got your clothes~"

"Give me back my soul... I know that tailor stole it..."

I was tired... exhausted.

"Now, now~ poor tailor~ she was just doing her job~" That is debatable.

"I got a _dress_."

"Yes you did~"

"With a _corset_ "

"Yes, and what of it~?"

"And with _no pants_."

"What were you expecting~?"

"And it's an ugly color _blue_..."

"I think it goes well with your eyes~"

"And it's impractical, and far too extravagant, and not my style at all..."

"Now you're being too dramatic~"

"Would _you_ rather wear a skirt?"

"I think that's not the matter at hand~"

"Then lend me your pants."

"Don't you already have a pair~?"

"They were dirty..."

"Then why don't clean them?"

"They are drying."

"Just stop crying."

"I don't wanna! I can't do it! I just cannot wear a dress!"

I need to get out of this clothes! I feel like a burrito. A fancy burrito in a skirt.

"Now, come on now~ it's not that bad~ you look cute~ hi hi"

I was considering putting HIM in the dress. See if he liked feeling constricted by the deathtrap they call "corset".

"Aww~ stop with the pouting, my dear~ we're almost there~"

The residence of the Phantomhive. Great.

I felt like tearing my clothes apart already.

"Why do I have to...? I thought you said you wouldn't make me come here..."

"I didn't make you~ you followed right along~"

"Then how do you explain this dress!?"

"Mysteries of life~"

You little-

He had been the one to help me get into this multiple-layered monstrosity!

"Grrr"

"Now, now~ no growling~ that's not very Lady-like~".

He was back to his usual get up. Top hat, now clean, thanks to yours truly, big black robe, once again tied up with his grey scarf, the chain of lockets firmly in place.

Hair hiding his eyes once again, he was back to his spooky, cheery self.

It was surprising, how he could go from spooky old man to handsome gentle bastard, just by changing how he wore the same big black robe, and how he styled his hair.  
The gentle part... I don't know where that came from.  
There was something old and gentle in his eyes, when he uncovered them. It was too intense for my poor heart.

I still liked his eyes, despite the unnatural color. It somehow didn't make him less beautiful...

But, right now, he was being a total bastard. Right now, I didn't like him, at all.

"Go bald, you old man."

"What was that~?"

"Nothing"

I had to admit. I liked this bantering we have been having since we both shared a little of ourselves.

I knew that was far from being all there was to the mystery that was Undertaker.

But it was nice knowing a little more.

"Here we are~"

A whine not unlike the ones Kala used to make when she was a puppy, escaped from me.

"Now, now~ they are not going to eat you~ they are children~"

Yeah, because it's the children, the ones I'm terrified about.

Not.

As we entered, my cowardly self knew I couldn't take it.

"This is a terrible idea, can't I just wait outside?"

"This is for your own good~"

I can't see how...

...

"Lies, this is for your own amusement."

"That too~"

That stupid old man! I was suffering! _Suffering_ , alright?

And he's laughing at my misfortune. That bastard deserves to become a Saitama wannabe.

A bald weirdo.

We were welcomed inside. For my part I was hiding behind Undertaker, determined to not get separated from him. If he was going to laugh at me, the least he can do is not let me get lost.

Which is a fairly easy thing for me to do.

Walking towards where I supposed that Victor was with his kids, a kid suddenly ran down the corner we were about to turn.

The child wasn't apparently looking where he was going, and walked right into Undertaker.

"Wah?!"

I sighed. Undertaker could have just moved away, so mean to a poor kid. I felt really sorry for him, so young and to have to be exposed to 'taker's creepiness.  
Poor thing.

"I'm sorry..."

Oh... he even apologized to that big meanie. Of course Undertaker wouldn't turn down his creepiness, not even a notch, for a little kid.

"Oh, my~ who do we have here~?"

Yeah, like you don't know, you ass. Unless he's a friend that came to visit, or the son of one Vilvent's friends, he is one of the Panthomhive twins.  
And even I, who has already half-forgotten how Vilvent looked like, can recognize him as his kid.

He made a show of looking closely at the kid. "Well~ If it isn't a little Phantomhive~!" Undertaker was being especially mean.

Poor kid, he looks like a scaredy cat.

...

I blushed. Not like I'm one to talk.

"Now~, which one might you be~?"

Poor little Phantomhive, he's trembling and everything.

On my part, I was still hiding behind Undertaker. Even if I was considering stopping him. There had to be a limit to how mean one can be to a child.

I shook his sleeve, and glared at him.

"Ah, well~, I suppose it doesn't matter~. From my humble point of view, they are both Phantomhives anyway~." I hope that means he's going to leave the poor kid alone.

"Oh! There you are!"

Eh?

Oh. The other twin. They look just the same.

"Don't just leave without me, geez..." Awww, what a cute pout. I might have a little soft spot for innocent children.

"But..."

They may look the same, but, from what I just saw, they act completely different. The one we ran into is all shy and cute, the other one seems more outgoing and confident.

"Oh! It's Mr. Vin's little twins!" Another man came. "It's the first time I've seen you two together in one place!"

What is this? Everyone is reuniting in here. I feel tempted to just sneak away.

"Oh~? Fancy meeting you here~, Mr. Newspaper Reporter. You're visiting as well?" Great. Pleasantries. I just love them.

Sarcasm. I just hope they don't notice me and force me to introduce myself.

"Well~, you're quite chipper this morning~".

Apparently Mr. Newspaper has a new camera. Or something. I was only half-paying attention.

Mr. Newspaper guy wanted to test his new camera on the twins. As long as he doesn't test it on me, I have no problems.

Just keep ignoring me.

"Hello! Didn't notice you there! My name is Pitt!" Argh. That wasn't directed at Undertaker or the twins.

"Dalia..."

Undertaker butted in, putting a hand on my head. "She's very shy~" I'm not shy!

Just a little…

"Ha ha, it's alright!" He looked at the twins, who were getting prepared to have a picture taken of them. "Mhh... I wish there was something we could put behind you..."

I was looking at a fancy drape. Anything but the... what was his name again? The Reporter.  
Mr. Newspaper Guy followed my line of sight.

"Oh! Perfect! Mr. Undertaker, hold this for me, would you?" He pointed to the fancy drape I had been looking at.

"Me~?"

I went farther away from undertaker and the twins, wouldn't want to accidentally ruin the picture.

"Mr. Undertaker, just a little bit more to the right!"

The twins looked like mirror images of the other.

"Alright, I'm taking it now!"

They were very cute.

* * *

"It wasn't so bad, was it~?"

"Yes"

"Don't lie little Lia~ you had fun~"

"No, YOU had fun when I managed to mess up three names in a single sentence."

"Hi hi hi hi~ yes~ I did have a lot of fun~ I'm sure Vilvent, William and Wilson thought that too~ he he he~"

Vilvent, William and Wilson's real names apparently were Vincent, Pitt and Diedrich.

At least with the first one I had been more-or-less on the way to get it right.

I don't know where the rest came from.

In my defense, Dritch looked scary, and I just met both him and Mr. Newspaper guy.

And I only remembered Mr. Newspaper Guy's name as... Mr. Newspaper Guy. And I couldn't call him that.

I ended up hiding behind Undertaker for the duration of our visit, wishing to just disappear into dust. Although I did get a few words with the little Phantomhive that Undertaker scared. Mainly to make sure he wasn't scarred for life.

We even got to agree that all of those people were very scary.

I think I favor him over the other Phantomhive, the bubbly one, ehhh... Ciel? Driel? Dried? Dried sweets dipped in honey? I think I'm hungry...

And Wilson looked quite scary, but he wasn't that bad, after all. Even if he looked annoyed at my inability to remember his name.

Everyone was quite nice, now that I think about it. Except Vilvent, who I still remember stole my cookies. Although he acted like a cheery guy, he was evil incarnate.

I yawned. I was exhausted. I managed to avoid being lost, at the cost of becoming Undertaker's shadow. Which was very exhausting.

"Hi hi hi~"

Sigh... I don't get paid enough for this.

* * *

"Little Lia~ where are you~?"

I'm in the bathroom, leave me alone. "What...?" I got out.

"There you are~ Do you think you could do a small thing for me~?"

Eh... sure.

"You see, I am under the impression you can use an ability to learn information just by looking, is that right~?" A nod "What can you tell me about this?"

He extended his hand to me, revealing a necklace. It was very... expensive-looking.

'Observe'

' _Name: Rose Pendant._

 _Rarity: Unique._

 _Durability: 75/100_

 _A pendant of a red rose with the initials I. Curnier. The necklace is tied together by a small golden chain._

 _Lately its owners haven't been taking much good care of it. Most likely because of the demise of its original owner._

 _Smells of blood._

 _Original owner: Isabella Curnier._

 _Last owner: Beatrice Black'_

Uh... well, that's ominous.

"Can you see this?"

"Not unless we're in a celebration, dear~"

"It's a party, not a celebration."

I swear he's doing that on purpose. He giggled.

I read the information aloud for him. He brought his hand to his chin.

"How curious~, I remember attending an Isabella Curnier's funeral, not that long ago~ she was one of our guests~, do you remember her~?"

No. Not at all.

"She was the first woman you helped me make beautiful, you should remember her, dear~"

"I barely remember the names of the living, don't ask me to remember the names of the dead or my head might just explode."

"He he he~ Well, I suppose you are not wrong~ wouldn't want you joining the dead in my morgue, would we~?"

He took the pendant, and went downstairs again.

I don't know what has been happening, but Undertaker said there was a case that needed his expertise. Which probably meant lots of dead people.

As a result, I haven't been able to drag him to a Dungeon to help me level up.

But I will, just you wait.

I definitely will.

I went downstairs, staying in the kitchen.

I could cook something, or I could look for the cookie jar.

My cooking duty has led me to level up my [Cooking] to level 11, and unlock [Gourmet Cooking], which was simply cooking fancy food, and serving it in a fancy way.

I think I'll stay with my homemade cooking, but I could always try to level it up more.

The funny face Undertaker did when I made a semi-fancy dish was always worth it.

That being said... cookies.

Undertaker's cookies may look like dog treats, but they were so good, that I felt like fainting from bliss every bite I took out of them.

Now, where are those cookies…?

My ears twitched and I recognized a certain voice in the shop.

My cookie rival.

I peeked my head out of the kitchen, glaring in the creepiest way I could.

Sure enough, there were my cookies.

' _[Intimidation] has leveled up by one.'_

"Good morning, Lady Dalia." Viralvent.

He was sweatdropping, but he had that coming to him. I kicked my glare up a notch.

"Now, now, little Lia~, don't go around scaring people~. See~? Vincent here was so nice as to leave you these cookies in case you decided to join us~."

My glare disappeared as soon as I heard that they left me cookies. Oh, he wasn't that bad, then.

"Thank you Mr. Vilcent~" I glomped Undertaker, he was back to my good graces. Damn, they were both back to my good people list.

I didn't have a list, but I could make one.

With the cookies now in my power, I let Undertaker carry me like a sack of potatoes, away from Vilvent, least I decide to hug him, too.

' _[Charm] Increased by one.'_

Nope, you know? I'm so happy, that I won't even acknowledge that particular box.

I'm eating cookies.

Everything is fine.


	10. Chapter 9

**Here is another chapter for all of you, you're the best, really.**

 **It makes me so happy when I read all of your reviews, I can't even begin to describe it, thanks to everyone who left reviews, know that you're the best.**

 **I hope everyone had a Merry Chrstmas or whatever holiday you celebrated (and if you didn't celebrate anything, I hope at least you had a good day).**

 **This will be the last chapter of the year... not! I will be posting another chapter right after this one, so don't worry, there's still Fun &games to spare!**

 **Disclaimer: The creator and owner of Black Butler is Yana Toboso. I'm not Yana Toboso. Draw conclusions.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Everything is terrible.

"Waaaah! 'Takeeeer! Stop laughing and help meeeee!"  
"He he he he~ can't do, little Lia~ hi hi hi~ he he he~"

I kept running around like a headless chicken, while Undertaker rolled around the floor, laughing like a madman.

Everything perfectly normal.

Except for the fact that I was running because I was being chased by three gnomes with pickaxes and shovels, and Undertaker was being an unhelpful bastard by laughing at me.

I swear, tonight he's eating his own bowels, because I'm not cooking for him. Stupid old man.

"Go bald stupid old man!" I should have left him alone with his 'guests'. I shouldn't have badgered him to come with me.

Far from being offended, he started laughing harder. Grr... One day I'll get a pair of scissors.  
We will see who laughs then.

I will strangle him with his own hair. Then I will sew myself a scarf with it.

I ran to where Undertaker was laid on the floor, twitching from the aftermath of his attack of laughter.  
Jumping over him, I successfully put him between the Dwarfs and myself. That's what you get for being an old man.

I was half prepared for the Gnomes... Dwarfs, to ignore him completely and keep pursuing me. Karma didn't like me very much.  
Luckily, the Dwarfs decided that the laughing idiot that was helpless on the floor was a better prey than a cowardly running girl, and decided to attack him instead.

Not even five seconds later there weren't any more Dwarfs in the vicinity.

'You have gained 150 exp points.'  
'Your Level has increased by one.'  
'You have gained 150 exp points.'  
'You have gained 150 exp points.'

We found in the party menu that it was possible to share the experience we got from the monsters. Half the usual experience we got went to him, the other half to me. Even if one of us (read: me) didn't fight.

We also found out he didn't have an inventory, nor could he look at his Skills.

Ah! Last time I leveled up I forgot to assign the points I got, so now I had ten points without distributing, where could I put them?

"What's that~?"  
"I leveled up."  
"So you're stronger~?"  
"Just a little."  
"And what are those~?"  
"The points I have to assign."

For that, I got a very blank expression.

"Every time I level up I am given five points, I can distribute those points however I want. If I put them in Strength, I will be able to... throw things farther, for example."  
"And the effect is immediate? No training~?"  
"Yes, it's instant. And with no training. Although... I guess if I did train I would gain points in a particular stat, without needing to level up..." It would be like reading a book, right? From books I got Intelligence and Wisdom without leveling up.  
"Then why not train~?"  
I looked at him.

Because I didn't have anyone to train me.

"Are you offering?"  
"What am I offering~?"  
I drilled my stare into the side of his face, half covered by his hair.  
"Are you?"  
"Maybe~"

I looked at him starry eyed.  
"For real?"  
"No"

I dropped to the floor, bawling my eyes out. I should have known.

"He he he~ joking~ joking~, of course I can train you~ wouldn't want to lose you to a midget~"  
I pouted. "For starters they were Dwarfs and they were three. I was outnumbered"  
"He he he~ of course~"  
"Stop laughing."  
"I'm not laughing~"  
"Yes you are"  
"No, I'm not~"  
"Yes you are."  
"What makes you think I'm laughing~?"  
"You are drooling and shaking." And he was barely keeping it together.

Lately I had noticed that, whenever he started laughing hysterically, he would start drooling. It was disgusting.  
"Stay away from me"  
"He he he~ why is that ~?"

He crept closer. Predatory smirk on his face.

I ran.

Sadly I didn't get very far, as I got tackled to the ground and used as a rag to clean his face off. Absolutely disgusting.

"Noooo! Come on! That's not fair!"  
He probably would have answered with a "life is not fair", but he got interrupted by a tree.

Yes. He got interrupted by a tree.

Well, it wasn't really a tree.

'Name: Ent  
Level: 16  
Health: 154 Hp  
Mana: 0Mp

Str: 8  
Vit: 40  
Dex: 6  
Int: 1  
Wis: 10  
Luck: 15

A sentient, giant tree, protector of the forest, will attack anyone who threatens the forest. Weak against fire and cutting weapons. Resistant against water and Blunt Weapons.'

"I don't think we have fire, do we?"  
Undertaker glanced at me. "We're in a forest, dear~. I don't think fire is our smartest option."

Then I was pretty useless against this... Ent.

"Uh... then maybe we should..." turn around?  
The tree made a big show of being a rude ass, because it didn't wait for me to finish talking. Instead it tried to impale us with one of its branches.

Instead it got cut in half.

' _You have gained 850 exp points.'_

Undertaker smirked at my fish face, bopped me on the forehead, and turned around, not waiting for me to catch up or understand what just happened.

Undertaker materialized a Scythe out of literally NOWHERE, and cut a tree three times as big as his scythe, which was bigger than him.

And damn, it was a scary scythe. From the three seconds glance I got, I saw it had the shape of a skeleton. Enough to know that it was as spooky as the rest of Undertaker.

"Hey, what was that!?"

"He he he~ looks like I leveled up too~"  
"Where did that thing even come from?!"  
"Where should I put these points~? Maybe in strength~? Or Luck~?"  
"Heeey... I'm right here! Stop ignoring meee..."  
"Of course, I could always put them in Wisdom~. Or maybe Intelligence would be a better option~?"  
I threw myself at him. "Nyaaaa~". He took my attack without flinching, but did turn to me with an amused expression.  
"What was that~?"

 _'Your [Charm] leveled up by one.'_

...

"Nothing..."  
"If my ears were not deceiving me, I could have sworn I heard you say: 'Nya~'"  
"Your ears are deceiving you, old man, you need to get those ears checked out."  
"No, no~ I'm quite sure I heard a 'Nya~'".  
"It wasn't me, stop making things up."  
"Are you sure you didn't say 'Nya', dear~?"  
"It was a war cry, it wasn't a 'Nya', and stop saying 'Nya', nya, we're not cats."  
"You said 'Nya' again~."  
"No I didn't."  
"Your words are not adding up, dear~"  
"Hey, look, you can level up your Stats, while I level up mine. Forget about it."  
"He he he, as you wish~"

Ignoring the snickering old man, I took a look at my Stats.

'[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: Undertaker's little pet  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 15  
Exp: 83% (1250 Exp)  
Hp: 79 Hp  
Mp: 56 Mp

Strength: 5  
Vitality: 22 (2+20)  
Dexterity: 10 (10+0)  
Intelligence: 23  
Wisdom: 21  
Luck: 15

Points: 10'

I have to level up my strength.  
It's unacceptable that I had to ask Undertaker to open up the cookie jar every time I want some cookies.  
And... uh... maybe Intelligence.  
Five to strength, two to Intelligence, to leave it at a rounded number of 25.

The three other points... probably wisdom, to try to get closer to that even number.  
Even if it would be smarter to put them in Dexterity.

Uh... maybe I will save them for later...  
Yeah, good idea.

I looked at my side, where I could feel Undertaker's stare boring into me, judging.  
"What"  
"Hi hi hi~ I know what you're doing ~"

Alright, very creepy, please stop.

"It's my Stats, let me screw them however I want to."  
His eyes widened, and started shaking.

... He... hadn't been offended by that, had he?  
Was he crying?

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"  
Sigh... of course not.

That's what I get for worrying about him.

"Let's just... go look for something else..."  
"What for~?"  
"Grinding."

"..."

"It's repeatedly doing an action, to level it up."  
"Only a fool does the same action over and over, trying to get a different result."  
"Well, get prepared to be a fool then, because we're doing exactly that."

* * *

How long has it been since I got here?  
A few months at the very least...

"Hey... what time is it?"  
"It's half past ten. Hi hi hi~ tired already~?"  
"Not that. I meant day, month and year."  
"What did you do last night~? I hope you didn't touch my brandy~?"  
"Keep your dirty alcohol, you drunkard."  
"Aww~ so cruel~ when have you seen me drunk~?"  
"I don't need to, I saw the diminishing reserves, now answer my question."  
"It's 13th of March of 1883, you have been here since early January."

So... three months. It seems like time flew out of the window.

Three months and I'm not any closer to finding out how I got here than the first day.

Three months without Kim, without Kala.

Sigh.

"You need to put your whole body into it, dear~"  
I did as asked.

And fell.

"...Well, I _did_ ask for that, but you don't need to throw YOURSELF into the swing~. You are attacking an enemy, not jumping to hug me~" He managed to say all of that while still laughing.

Just make up your mind, old man, you are the one who is supposed to know what he's doing.

"Alright, I will attack now~"  
"What- NO!"  
I put the stick I was using for practice between me and the approaching Undertaker, closing my eyes.

He stopped right in front of me.  
And started laughing.

"My dear~, this is supposed to be a weapon~ hi hi hi~ to defend yourself~. Not a sacrifice~ hi hi hi~ he he he~."

You are the one who didn't give me any warning! Grr...  
I'm not good at this...

"I want cookies..." and ice cream...  
"You can get cookies after you use your sacrificial stick to defend yourself~ hi hi"

With his own wooden stick in hand, he slowly, as in snail-pace slowly, made a swing.  
I put my wooden sacrifice in the path of the "swing".

Clack

"Oh... I guess it is not... AH-!"  
 _-1 Hp_

Ouch.  
Undertaker unexpectedly hit me on the head.

"What was that, dear~" oh-oh, he looks cross. I can see a vein throbbing on his forehead and everything.

"Uh..."  
"If I had put any force in any of those swings your sotoba would have flown out of your hands~. Show me your grip."

Apparently my grip was all wrong, because he started messing with where my hands should go.

I guess I'm not getting my cookie, am I?

We had somehow reached an agreement. In which one day a week, we would go to a Dungeon and level up like madmen, or grind our skills like... uh I don't know, idiots?

Then, the next week, one day would be reserved to practice my... everything, in the traditional way.  
Train. One day was reserved for old fashioned training at the hands of a certain old man.  
Train made it sound less like the beating it was, and more like an equal-grounded sparring.  
The word 'Train' at least let me save a little of my pride.  
If I had any.

"Don't stand like a scarecrow, my dear~, put one leg behind the other~. Eh... no. Not like that... Alright, that is _slightly_ better~"

"I feel like I'm about to lay an egg."  
"He he he~ because you're doing it wrong."

I can already feel myself dying.

* * *

Some people say Honesty was a virtue.

I usually was honest. Mainly because I didn't like lying.

So, right now, I feel compelled to be completely honest.

I had forgotten all about Mr. Dimwit.

I know I shouldn't.  
But I did.

He was... like a stupid duckling.  
Cute, not particularly bright, and unlike the ugly duckling, the chances of Mr. Dimwit actually growing a brain were slim to none.

So I was surprised when I found him sprawled out in our backyard, not that far from Hercules.

He looked like he crawled out of a trash can. Ruffled up, dirty, and with a smell so horrendous, that if he bathed in the river Thames, he could come out smelling better.

And believe me, in this time, the Thames is not a place where you want to bathe.  
Even if according to Undertaker, the river had smelled even worse not even fifty years before.

I liked to consider myself a fairly rational human being. As such I did the rational thing and ignored him completely.

If I can't see him, he can't bother me.

Surprisingly, the motto seemed to hold true, as I didn't get bothered at all, while I brushed Hercules and gave him more food.

I even got inside without being acknowledged at all.

Maybe he was sleeping.

Or maybe that's because of the [I'm invisible!] Skill? If that is true, I have to say that it's the most useful skill I have yet.

I peeked into the basement and called out to Undertaker: "Mr. Dimwit is back!"  
"Just ignore him, my dear~ He just wants attention, if you ignore him he will go away~".

I turned away from the stairs and peeked from the window. He was still outside, sprawled like a starfish, not moving at all.

Taking a page out of Undertaker's book, I ignored the man in our backyard, and started cooking.

I would need to go buy a few more things... or get Undertaker to go, as I got lost the moment I stepped out of the shop.

Last time I went shopping, I got lost and somehow got into a small misunderstanding, where a man thought I was his wife and Undertaker had to go rescue me.  
The bastard had been following me, and knew I had been lost. He got a few good laughs out of that particular incident.

Mhhh... While I wait for the food to finish cooking, I can eat some cooki-  
"Don't eat cookies before dinner, dear~ or you won't be hungry later~"  
Fudge.

Those cookies would have to wait.

"Are you done?"  
"Yes~" He touched my face from behind with his wet, cold hands.  
"Ah! They are cold..."  
"Your face is warm~"  
"No, your hands are definitely freezing. And I hope you cleaned your hands" I casted a suspicious glance to his hands, they were still slightly damp, recently cleaned.  
"Who do you take me for~? Of course I cleaned my hands~ I take my job very seriously~."  
Undertaker? Serious?

Ha.  
Never thought the day would come where I would hear both in the same sentence.

"Stop playing with my cheeks"  
"Don't wanna~"

While looking at his hands I took notice of the ring he wore in his index finger. It was very beautiful, green, and somehow was far too classy compared to the rest of his usual getup.

I didn't comment.

"Hey~ did you eat all the chocolate~?" Of course I didn't comment, seeing as I got distracted by an incessant whining in my ear.  
"What if I did?"  
"Monster~. You didn't leave any for me~?"  
"Did you leave any cookies yesterday for me?"

"..."

"Then there's your answer."  
"So cruel~" I got a pair of arms constricting me from behind like a pair of boas.  
"It's not cruelty, its _justice_."  
"Bad little Lia~ Bad~" He attempted to tap my nose while hugging me from behind.  
He almost tapped my eye.  
"Watch out with those claws"  
Said claws were immediately used to poke my cheeks, while I pouted.

I grumbled something about bald old men and cut a bit of the cheese I had left on the counter, shoving it into what I supposed was Undertaker's mouth.

Immediately, I was Undertaker-free.  
I turned just enough to see I had smeared most of the cheese in Undertaker's cheek.  
Serves him well. I snickered.

Now that he was occupied trying to get his tongue to lick the cheese out of his cheek, which was fairly difficult, I finished cooking our meal.

Sitting down in the two chairs next to the small table, we started eating, sometimes he would ask something about my ability, sometimes I asked if Mr. Dimwit was still in our backyard... you know, small talk.

I left Undertaker to the mercy of our uninvited "visitor", and went out to get tomorrow's breakfast.  
The most important meal of the day, as Undertaker likes to say.

I, personally think the most important meal of the day is the one that has cookies in it, but what do I know.

It was less cold now, than when I had been prowling the streets, without a place to go to.

And I was now warm and nice, unlike then.

I still want to go back to the shop fast, just because it's warmer now doesn't mean I want to stay out in the cold.  
And let's not forget it's getting dark, I don't want to be outside without Undertaker. It's dangerous.

"Isabella!"

That had sounded far closer than expected.  
I turned around

Just to see black.


	11. Chapter 10

**Enjoy the double-chapter! I know they are short, but I hope you will like it!**

 **My bf made a cute drawing of Dalia. Although her pants somehow got stolen... xD  
I will put the link in my profile if anyone's interested... and if fanfiction lets me.  
**

 **The first part of the story has mentions of blood if anyone feels uncomfortable with it you can skip to the break line after the status apears.**

 **Happy Holidays to everyone!**

 **Disclaimer: Black Butler belongs to its owner. Which is not me.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Uh...?

Where...

What happened?

Opening my eyes had never been so painful. Something at the back of my head throbbed, and I was confused.

Where was I?

 _'Waking up in a strange bed after fainting, you only restore a 20% of your Hp and Mp'_

Eh?

I... fainted?  
I have never fainted before.  
It's... strange...

It feels like I have been asleep for years, like... uh... my head hurts...

I feel like I have been dreaming for a long time...

What happened?

I don't remember how I got here, or how I fainted...

Kim...?

Kala..?

...

Undertaker...?

What... happened?

I looked around. I was in a bedroom, but it was an unfamiliar one, maybe someone saw me fainted and brought me to their home?

It was a very luxurious bedroom. Very expensive drapes could be seen, a single, closed shut window adorned with lavishly embroidered curtains.

Looks like someone is filthy rich.

I was in the middle of the room, in the big, double bed, the window to my right, a dresser to my left. Next to the dresser was the door that lead into the bedroom.

Or, in my case, out of the bedroom.

I got out of bed and tested the knob, locked.

Wha-?

Why would anyone lock the door?

I looked around once more, I couldn't see any key to open the door.  
Or even the window.

...

I was locked in here.

Why?  
What had happened?  
Why did I need to be locked?

Undertaker?

"Hello? Is anyone in here?"

...

Silence.

I was alone in here.

...

Locked and alone...

I took a breath...

Calm down, Dalia, everything is fine...

No.

NO!

Nothing is fine!

I'm locked in a room, alone in the dark and I'm scared!  
I don't want to go back!

I can't go back!

I threw myself against the closed window.

"Kaito? Kaito! Please come back!"

Anyone!

Anyone…

Please.

Not again.

Not again...

…

Huddling against a corner, I'm not sure how much time passed.  
It was meaningless.

Had I never escaped?

The room was different...

But the situation was the same...

Tofu?

Tofu!

Tofu?!

Where?

Where is Tofu?

Nonononono

Please, not Tofu.

Was everything a dream?

Were the last years a simple dream?

Have I been dreaming all this time?

Had I been so lonely after Kaito left, that I got lost inside my mind?  
Had I gone insane?

Maybe... I always was...

He he…

Ha.

Maybe Kaito was part of my imagination, too.

Of course.

That would explain why he left.

Because he never existed in the first place.

Kim?  
Kaito?  
Kala?  
All part of my imagination.

Undertaker?  
A fever dream.

I should have known.

I should have known...

The lock started making noises, indicating it was being opened from the other side.

I flinched against the wall.

There was no desk, no corner...  
I couldn't hide anywhere...

The bed. This wasn't my bed, I could hide under it.

She wouldn't find me.  
She couldn't find me.  
I wasn't here.  
This, too, was part of a dream.

The door opened.

I heard footsteps.

Heavy footsteps, different from the ones I was expecting.

This person didn't drag their shoes, like she did...  
Maybe it was father, instead?

Should I?  
No.

What if she asked him to pick me up?

What did she want from me, now?

I needed Tofu.  
Where was Tofu?

Nothing has changed.

I think my hysterical breathing gave me away, because the footsteps stopped next to the bed.

A man's head peeked out.

"What are you doing in there?"

It wasn't father.  
It wasn't Kaito.  
It wasn't Undertaker.

I didn't know this man.

I said nothing.  
Just looked.

"Come out of there, it's dirty. I have food for you, you must be hungry, my dear."

The familiar endearment term convinced me to get out. Undertaker?

No, this man looked nothing like him… and Undertaker was part of my imagination, anyways.

' _ **Status effect [Trauma] has been Unblocked and is now active.'**_

I looked at the floating box.

It was... familiar...  
It… wasn't a dream?

Kim?  
Kala?  
Undertaker?

I looked at the man, who picked up a tray he had left on the covers, when he had kneeled to peek under the bed.

I looked at the food, then at the man, and finally at the, once again closed, door.

New jailor?

Where was Tofu?

I was trembling, and even if the man spoke softly and lovingly, I didn't know who he was, he was danger, he was my new jailor.  
For all I knew he could be worse than the last ones.

"Isabella, no need to be scared now, you are home, this is your home. You were lost for so long... they said you died, but they don't know anything!" At this his voice raised and gained a hard edge, and I flinched. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry sweetie... I know you're scared, there's no need to, you're home now, and you're safe, with me."

Who was this man? Who was Isabella?  
This wasn't home. Where was I?

Tofu...

'Taker...

Please...

"You need some rest, darling, you'll see, once you rest some more, everything will come back to you, but first eat something, you need to eat, I have some tea with milk too, your favorite, drink, darling."

I don't like tea...  
Nothing is making sense.  
I took the cup in my hands, but didn't drink. I looked at the man. He was treating me kindly, but somehow... it felt wrong.

I don't know why, but something wasn't right in this picture.  
I don't think anything was right, in this picture.

Seeing as he wasn't getting a single word out of me, the man "left me to rest".

My eyes followed him out of the door, and my ears picked up the sound of the door being locked.

It felt like my stomach had dropped to my feet. I felt nauseated.

I went to the window, examining it closely. Locked.

I tried prying it open.  
It was no use.

I felt anxious, and with an imperious need to dump the contents of my stomach in the nearest trash can. Or toilet.

Or the floor.

I looked in every drawer, under the bed, under the floorboards, in the bathroom, in the dresser, behind the mirror...

No key, nothing I could use to escape.

Kim...  
Kaito...  
Undertaker...  
Anyone...

I went to the window and tried to desperately claw my way out.

I only succeeded in breaking a nail, and bloodying the window frame.

My eyes scanned the room over and over, hoping that something would jump out at me, that I would find a way to escape.

That someone would rescue me.

I looked at the bloody window.  
I looked around.  
Nothing.

...

The panels were closed, so even if there was someone on the other side, they couldn't see me.  
And I didn't know how high this was.

I turned to the door.  
It was closed.

I tried shaking, banging, clawing at it with my already bloody hands.

I couldn't.

I couldn't escape.

What was I to do?

No one would come.

No one ever did.

* * *

Undertaker wasn't an easily angered man.  
He laughed and found humor in many things that any lesser man would have teared their hair out for.

So, when a rookie Shinigami decided to stalk him every day to challenge the "old legend", he simply laughed and wiped the floor with his face.

He even made a game out of it, wondering when he would grow tired and go back to his soul-collecting duties.

He was half-sympathetic about the impressive report the aptly nicknamed " " would have to make, to explain why he hadn't been doing his job, and instead was chasing after a retired legend.

He was more amused than sympathetic though, after all, he was the one who had been bothered by him the most.

He doubted Dalia took much notice, of his new floor-wiping tool.  
His little assistant was a little oblivious, when it came to noticing the obvious.

Undertaker wasn't blind to the fact that his assistant was a bit… lacking, in the deduction departement. But what she lacked in brains she made up with heart, and what she lacked in bravery, she made up with determination. _And_ she was cute in spades, he had to admit. Those big sad eyes were a force to be reckoned with.

Speaking of his cute little assistant, she was the main reason for his current unrest.  
She hadn't returned yet.

She wasn't anywhere near the shops she usually went to, she _could_ have gotten lost, but...

He doubted it.  
His little assistant was too cowardly to be outside, when it was already this dark, especially if she was alone.

Jumping across rooftops he considered where could his little Lia be. It was impossible for her to be alone at this hour, she would have already ran back to the shop.  
She wasn't a social butterfly, besides him, there wasn't anyone she would feel confident in staying with, as far as he knew.

He knew the earl of Panthomhive was working in his case around here, but Undertaker doubted his little assistant would actively want to spend time with him. Unless she was lost.

It had been very long, since the days when he relied solely on his sight, even so, he did a double take, just for the sake of it, putting a hand over his covered eyes, as if he was trying to block the nonexistent sun.

She was near. As in this-same-street near. And so was the Queen's Watchdog.

The Earl seemed to have found the target he had been looking for, as the Queen ordered. He snorted disdainfully at that thought.

He would bet his braid that his little Lia had somehow gotten herself in the middle of that mess.

He always made sure to keep an eye out on the Earl's "missions", sometimes he didn't even have to, and Vincent came to him for help, like with this case.  
It was a self-imposed mission of his. It was his way of coping.

This time it seemed like a wealthy aristocrat, Mr. Curnier, had successfully kidnapped and murdered quite a row of maidens. From what he found out he went mad after his wife's death~.

While he could somewhat understand his pain, he wasn't about to let his little assistant get herself added to his list of victims.

He could hear the Watchdog's... "business meeting" going on in the first floor.  
He entered through the front door like he owned the place.

Snickering at the cheery blank expression in the Earl's face when he saw him, he went directly to the second floor.

Now, now~ where could his little cowardly assistant be hiding?

She was like a small deer, getting startled by any loud noises.  
Or when she didn't hear him coming and suddenly surprised her. She always made that cute startled face~.

He he he.

Walking down the corridor, passing doors left and right, he finally found one that was locked.

"Ooh~?" There she was.

He kicked the door open without any regard for the one who would have to pay for it.  
It wasn't like its owner would live past tonight.

Only after kicking the door down did he regret having taken such a loud approach.  
It wasn't that long ago, that he had been comparing her to a deer for getting scared of loud noises.  
And there he went, making a ruckus.

Maybe his little Lia wasn't wrong after all, and he was going senile.

A glance around the room brought a frown to his face.  
There was blood everywhere, on the door, on the window, on the floor.

A broken teacup on the floor, a puddle of tea tainting the expensive carpet.

He narrowed his eyes, following the trail.  
He found his little deer under the bed. It wasn't a pretty sight, and that made him frown harder.

Her fingers were cut and bleeding, her clothes were dirty and ruffled, stained with blood, her hair was a complete mess, and he noticed blood clinging to her hair, too.

Her eyes, though.

Her eyes were looking straight at him, but weren't seeing him at all.

Worrying.

He knew those eyes, had seen them more than he had wanted to. Those eyes were trapped in a past that wasn't there anymore.

"Hello little Lia~ are you comfortable in there~?"  
Her eyes finally focused on his face, and she shook her head no.  
"Then, why don't you come here so we can go back to the shop~? I left some cookies baking~"

A lie.  
But it didn't matter, he would make it a truth the moment he got them home.

She slowly crawled out from under the bed, after a few moments of hesitation.  
He got up and waited for her to come to him.  
He wasn't about to approach her.  
Right now she was a startled deer, and he knew that if he walked closer, she would try to flee.

Her eyes, glancing at the broken door, proved him right.  
He made no move, just let his arms open in invitation.

Another glance to the broken door, then at the place the door used to occupy, and finally at him.  
She approached him.

After a second of deliberation, she went for a hug, soft and uncertain, just like her.

He spoke even softer, almost whispering. "Do you want to go home?"  
She rapidly shook her head, then a pause, and a nod.  
"You're not making much sense, dear~ make up your mind~"  
She opened her mouth, but didn't say anything.  
She just hugged him again, hiding her face in his neck.  
"Alright~"

They walked out of the room.

I was a bit awkward, as she hadn't released her grip on his clothes and hair, anything she got her hands on, but he managed to get them out by carrying her like a princess.

At the entrance, he found a half dead man, right under the gun of one cross Watchdog.  
He he~. Looks like someone managed to rile up Vincent.

He wished he had been here to hear what had angered him so. It had to be quite funny if the Earl was making that face.

"Fancy meeting you here~".

The man, who he recognized as the one he had to rescue Dalia from, some time ago, that time she got lost, immediately tried calling out to Dalia.

By a completely wrong name.

"Isabella! Leave my wife alone, you weirdo! I swear if..." he didn't bother listening to the rest. It was boring.

Under other circumstances, he would have found this hilarious.

A perturbed man thought his little assistant was his dead wife! It was comedy gold!  
The amount of funny faces he could get out of his little Lia, just for that, was endless!

Except that this wasn't funny at all.

His poor little assistant flinched, the moment he heard the man's voice. Enough for him to know far more than he wanted to.

Little Lia tried to keep away from the man, while trying to not let go of him.  
Which was quite hard because he was walking towards the man.

"I hope you don't mind if I play a little with him~" That was meant for Vincent, who didn't look very sure if he felt like giving up his prey.

It didn't matter, in any case, Undertaker wasn't about to change his mind.  
When he reached the man on the floor, he put a foot on his neck and pressed.

Undertaker wasn't an easily angered man.  
He laughed and found humor in many things that any lesser man would have teared their hair out for.

Right now he was quite angry.

He cradled Dalia against him with one hand, using the other to keep her legs up, as he cut the man's air supply with his foot.

He wasn't about to kill the man. Vincent seemed quite eager to actually take up that job. That didn't mean he couldn't relish a bit on the man's suffering.

He drowned the man's chokes of agony with his voice, calm and reassuring. No need to scare his little assistant further.  
"Calm down little Lia~ it's over now, alright ~? Now, now~ would you look at yourself, you're quite the mess~, when we get back to the shop I will brush your hair for you~"

Something was muttered against his neck and, try as he might, he didn't get what she said, between his talking and the slowly chocking man at his feet. Even if it had been whispered right next to his ear.

He almost missed it, again, the second time she repeated herself. "Tofu..."  
He blinked.

The clown.

He managed to suppress an exasperated sigh, he wouldn't want his little Lia to think she was the cause for it and blame herself.

He let the man take a few breaths. Greedy gasps were heard, the only sound of the room.

"Where is the clown~?" While the words might have been posed as a question, his tone revealed it was anything but.

His voice had lost the reassuring undertone it had when talking to his assistant, but was as calm as ever.

Dalia still tightened her hold against his neck.

He he he~ that tickles.

The man gave a few sputtering coughs before he said where he had put the clown.  
He seemed about ready to start calling for Dalia once again.

He was half tempted to keep toying with the man a little more, he had scared him when little Lia went missing, after all... It would only be fair, to return the favor... but he had to make sure he got the clown back.  
It was very important to his little assistant, even if he personally felt like throwing the cursed thing out of the window.

He knew it didn't matter if they left the clown here, the blasted thing would always find a way back.  
And if it didn't... better for Dalia.  
He knew it wasn't a malicious being, and Dalia was fond of it, but he couldn't help but be wary. He still had to learn to live with it.

He managed to fish the clown out of a closet full of very different belongings, a few corridors from the entrance, in the same floor.  
Probably from the other victims.  
He was half tempted to also take the parasol in there.  
It was pink. He liked pink.  
And he liked the face his assistant made at the color even more.

Why not. It was a great color~.

He also got a coat and put it on his little deer, wouldn't want her to get sick again. He didn't want to see her sweaty and delirious again, he doubted she remembered, but she murmured things that were quite worrying, while he took care of the cold she had when he picked her up.

Sadly, when he got back, the man was already dead, thanks to Vincent. He must have been quite infuriating.

Well, no matter. At least he spared his little assistant the trauma of seen someone killed in front of her.  
She looked traumatized enough, in his humble opinion, this was probably for the best.

He ignored Vincent's questions, he could answer them later if they were important, and walked out to the street, the cold air refreshing his mind and skin.

And his little assistant's body, she was trembling. Even with the coat.  
Now that he thought about it, it could also be from fear.

He made sure she wasn't about to fall, adjusting her hold on him. As amusing as it would be to jump across rooftops carrying his little Lia like a sack of potatoes, he didn't think she could take any more unnecessary stress.

He didn't know what had happened, but knew enough to know she had retreated inside herself and wasn't completely there anymore.

He trip back was silent. He didn't like it, but did nothing to change it.

Once back inside the shop he left her on top of her coffin, and went to make cookies and bring her some hot chocolate.

When he was back with the chocolate, he was quite surprised to find no assistant in sight.  
But he knew where to start looking.  
He slowly tried opening her coffin, just to have it shut against his face, almost catching a lock of his hair.

Well, at least she hadn't ran away.

He should get his little assistant's wounds treated, but he couldn't do that while she was hiding inside her coffin.

Making sure the cookies were not burning, he went to get some things to treat his little assistant.

"Little Lia~, can I get a look at those wounds~?"

He didn't get any response from her.

He took the clown out of his robes and offered it to the coffin. "Tofu wants to make sure you're okay~, and so do I~"

Immediately the lid of the coffin opened, just enough for a hand to crawl out, snatch the clown from his hands, and pull it into the coffin, closing it once again.

Well, that was a lost endeavor.  
He wasn't giving up, though.

Coaxing her out of there took a few hours, two batches of cookies and a great amount of patience.  
She didn't even eat the cookies, at first, just smelled them, like she expected them to disappear the moment she took a bite, and decided to simply enjoy the smell while it lasted.

Treating her injuries was a bit easier, she didn't move at all, or flinch, she seemed... disconnected.

It was almost dawn, when he managed to get her to look at him, and actually say something.

"Are you real?" He bopped her nose.  
"If I wasn't, would I be able to touch you~?"  
She seemed to be in deep thought for a while. She cautiously hugged him.  
Almost like she expected him to vanish under her fingers.

"...'Taker..."  
And then she started crying.

"I'm not going anywhere, little Lia~"

It was the truth, they didn't move or sleep for the whole night.

* * *

They didn't talk about what had happened at Mr. Curnier's house.

It wasn't because Undertaker hadn't asked, but his gentle prods for information were met with evasion and denials of anything having happened.

He wasn't believing that for a second, but didn't force the information out of her.

She was jumpy, more than usual, and Undertaker literally only got her to release him when they went to sleep or go to the bathroom.

She absolutely refused to go anywhere near his bedroom. And almost worked herself into a panic attack when he suggested she sleep on the bed, while he slept in a coffin.

She didn't want to be alone with a burning fervor.

And even at night, _he_ couldn't sleep, because he heard her outside, awake, outside his door, most likely because the nightmares were keeping her awake.

"Good morning, dear~". He hadn't meant to wake her up, but the moment he went out of his bedroom she immediately rose up, before even being completely awake. Most likely she hadn't been completely asleep, either.

Looks like neither of them had any sleep last night.

She stayed by his side, even when he treated his less presentable guests.

She didn't go away even when Undertaker started treating an absolutely mutilated body.  
It was a good thing the body was so mutilated, he didn't want her recognizing Mr. Curnier's face and getting scared again.

Bodies recovered from the East End were rarely pretty to look at.  
But to change that was his job.  
Even if he would probably make an exception with this one.

He knew how to get rid of a corpse without anyone noticing.

Leaving the man aside for later, and after cleaning his hands, Undertaker got out of the basement, where he kept the morgue.

Dalia, firmly grabbing his clothes, trailed behind him.

Undertaker went to the kitchen, and started making cookies.

Dalia always liked those.

"Here have a cookie~" She extended a hand towards the cookie, but it was quickly pulled out of reach.

She stopped and looked at him.  
He offered the cookie again.

And quickly pulled it away.

He felt a smile pull at the corners of his mouth, as a frown slowly made its place into his little assistant's own face.

Offer.  
Pull away.

After a few more rounds of this little game, Dalia had apparently had enough of it, and threw herself to the cookie with an angry wail.

Now, there was his Dalia.

He didn't fight the hands that tried to keep him still to get to the cookie, and instead snickered.  
"Good to see you are back~"

She stopped, and looked at him. Then tears started coming to her eyes once again, and started apologizing, while simultaneously using him as a handkerchief.

Well, at least that had been fun.

"Now, now~ no more crying~ as long as you are fine, everything else can wait~ I'm not in a hurry~"  
"He didn't do anything... I'm sorry... It's my fault... it's my problem... and I'm so sorry that you have to... that you had to... Uh... waaaah..."

Neither of them were making much sense, but it was to be expected, even reapers needed their beauty sleep.


	12. Chapter 11

**The first chapter of the year! I hope everyone is enjoying this new year, with lots of new future chapters~.**

 **Guadadominguez4: I'm glad everyone was so happy about the double chapter! Undertaker's POV was really hard to do, he is one shady bastard.**

 **jj510: I'm really hoping he doesen't crew up too badly, if he does. The possible consequences wouldn't be pretty. x3**

 **Tsuki: About the two Ciels... as of chapter 129-130 of the manga it's not a theory anymore.**

 **PhantomMeow: Thank you for your review! It really makes me happy to see people like my story!**

 **Disclaimer: I have never owned Black Butler, and I probably never will.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

'After sleeping in your coffin you wake up with your HP and MP completely restored, all negative buffs removed.'

'Status effect [Trauma] has been blocked and is no longer active.'

I woke up surrounded by warmth.

It was nice, these last few days the main thing I remember feeling was...

Nothing.

Cold.

Empty.

This change... was nice.  
I liked it.  
I embraced change.

Change snored.

Wha-?

Opening my eyes I found myself surrounded by black. But I hadn't gone blind, it was the kind of blackness that came when one was under a blanket.

Trying to untangle myself from the 'blanket' revealed that this wasn't a 'blanket' at all.  
It was Undertaker's robe.

With a sleeping Undertaker inside.

Snoring.

Well, wasn't he a charmer?

I... barely remember falling asleep, after a few nights plagued by nightmares.  
I don't know what Undertaker's excuse was, he had been sleeping inside his room.

Lazy ass.

I seriously considered kicking him away, but that would be rather cruel. And I was all warm and cozy in this Undertaker burrito.  
I yawned.  
And promptly had to spit out some silver hair that got in my mouth.

I should...  
I looked at the window.

Nope, I should be sleeping, it's dark still.  
Since Undertaker was using me as a heater, might as well and use him as a pillow.  
I don't know how he did it, but he was always slightly colder that what should be normal. Not right now, though. Right now, he was stealing all of my body heat by wrapping himself around me like a monkey.

Idiot.

He... had been awfully nice...  
He had given me the comfort I needed, had let me tag along when the mere thought of being alone made me feel nauseated, and hadn't tried to pry into what had happened.

What had happened...  
I was stupid, that's what happened.

I remember... feeling anxious and panicky, after that everything feels like a blur.

The real next clear image I remember was being home and hiding inside my coffin. And even that didn't feel like a very clear memory.  
I know Undertaker went to pick me up... and I remember... a broken door... and Tofu...  
I know the man didn't do anything to me, but I panicked.  
I was so scared.

I closed the alert boxes.

A trauma, Huh?  
I really am useless… useless and broken.

This is stupid. Wasn't the gamer mind supposed to protect me from Psychological effects or something? Was I really so pathetic that I...

No, relax.

I took a deep breath.

This is not going to help. It never has. Calm down.

I couldn't go back to sleep, I was feeling restless, my mind was slowly driving me insane.  
But I couldn't move. I had a very heavy man using me as a dakimakura.  
Uh... not a good comparison.  
A pillow. Using me as a pillow.

What _could_ I do?

Oh.  
I had this power, didn't I.

Why hadn't I thought of it then?  
I was useless. I really hadn't considered of using the gamer's power.  
I was so stupid and useless.

I was the worst one that could have been given this power.  
Anyone else would have realized that I could probably use one of my skills, or maybe somehow use the [Create ID] Skill to escape.  
Maybe even use the broken teacup to escape. Or my frying pan to smash open the window.

Kim would have been far more suited for this than I was.

Looking at the Main menu, I didn't find anything different.

[Status Window]  
[Skills]  
[Inventory]  
[Quests]  
[Traits]  
[Relationships]  
[Map]  
[Settings]

I needed anything to distract myself... maybe I could see if anything at the map had changed.

Uh... still grey.

But there was a marker that read "Undertaker's". If I ever got so lost that I didn't know my way back, I would probably be able to use this to go back.

I needed to know more about this.  
This is not a game anymore. I need to protect myself if I ever find myself in a situation like that.  
I cannot panic.

I gave another look at my skills.

Yes, most brought memories, memories I would rather keep burrowed and locked inside the back of my mind. But I needed to do this. This can't happen again.  
If I just had paid more attention when I went shopping. If my [Detect Presence] Skill had been higher, if I had thought of using Observe on that man, if I hadn't panicked and rationally thought about what I was able to do...

Nothing would have happened.  
This was my fault.

I was as useless as kicking a tree.  
I wanted to change that.  
I needed to change that.

Having a look at my skills...  
They were mostly non-combat oriented.

Some would prove useful in unpleasant situations, like Stealth, but even then, they were more of the mindset of AVOIDING the danger, not really useful when danger was already about to snack me.

I needed to become stronger.  
I was scared, but I couldn't let that hold me down.

Which was ironic because I was currently held down by a snoring god of death.

Speaking of said God of Death. I needed him to train me, this time seriously.  
Not that mockery of a training session we did once every two weeks, where he mostly laughed at my incompetence.

I needed to train every day, whatever time is left after doing my duties, I have to employ in training.  
Even if Undertaker is busy with his own duties, I cannot slack off. I have to enter a dungeon and level up.

I will not let this happen again.

I have to change.

Holding Tofu in my hands I bowed this, to him and myself. I wouldn't let myself get separated from those I care about.

* * *

"I can't do it... I'm dying... wateeeeerrr..."  
"I told you~, you should progressively increase your training as you get used to the strain~ but I do have to commend you, I thought you would have given up three hours ago~"

Growling at the snickering old man proved to be far more tiring that expecting, and I dropped like a dead weight.

Undertaker peeked into my field of vision. "Oh~? Should I fit you for one of my coffins, dear~?" No. Go bald you old man.

"Blergh... Grwaargh" I think my mouth stopped being able to make human-like sounds.

"He he he~ very cute~ I have to say, you are progressing more than I thought, you seem to need less rest before stopping feeling tired~ even if you don't think so~"  
I didn't think so.

I was feeling beat.  
Dead.

Please make me a coffin.

"Your improvement is far above normal humans, this is most likely caused by this game-video power. I wonder..."

He stopped taking to me, and instead started muttering to himself.  
He can go talk to trees for all I care.  
Whatever floats his boat.

Getting up I demanded the lesson to recommence.  
Starting once again the training of Hell.

* * *

Cleaning the whole shop to perfection now took a matter of half an hour.  
Considering I left the floor clean enough to eat on, I was quite impressed with my progress.  
Even if the moment a client entered it would become dirty again. I was still impressed.

And so was Undertaker, because he now left me clean the morgue, as long as he was with me.

Let me tell you, the basement is scary and I would rather hug a Zombie that spend five minutes in there alone.

Speaking of Zombies and monsters in general. As I spent more time in the dungeon I found out that Legions and Ents weren't really bosses.

Because I found the real boss.

For the Zombie Dungeon, I had noticed that whenever I killed some Legions, another bigger, angrier and higher leveled monster appeared.

And I couldn't escape. Not for the lack of trying, though.  
The message I was given read something like this: "you cannot escape from a boss fight."  
So... there's that.

Something similar had happened with the Ents and a big turtle of sorts, but that time I had been with Undertaker, and I basically used him as a meat shield.

We had been specifically looking if the boss fight would happen in other Dungeons, or if it was exclusive of the Zombie one, which meant we had been aware of the possibility of a boss appearing and were prepared.  
So he wasn't particularly cross that I set him up with a turtle.  
Giant Turtle.  
Made of Rocks.

He hadn't looked very happy either, but that had been easily resolved when I offered one of my cookies.

Of course I didn't let him _take_ the cookie. "No take, just look." But that made him laugh enough to put me back into his good graces.

A month had passed, and the cold weather left, to let the warm spring take a hold of London with unexpected vigor.

Flowers bloomed, the wind brought pollen everywhere, and short minded Shinigami took a nap in our backyard.

Really, I would have expected him to get tired already.

I don't even know what he's doing here anymore, I just find him from time to time, thrown across the floor, sleeping.

I learnt to ignore him like one ignores a piece of furniture they aren't fond of, and went out to greet Hercules.

Every day I find him more adorable.  
Cuter than yesterday, less than tomorrow.  
Hercules, I mean. is not cute. More like an annoyance.

After making sure the donkey was fine and didn't need anything, I went back inside, stepping over the unconscious Shinigami.

Really, one would think he had better things to do. Didn't he have souls to judge or something?  
It wasn't my business to question, so I wouldn't. Even if I just did.

Yawn.

I need cookies.

The kitchen was as small as always, but today, it seemed especially cozy and homey.

Maybe because I found Undertaker inside.

Baking cookies.

"Ah, ah, ah~ you need something with your cookies, young lady~ don't think I will let you leave eating just that~"

Aww  
Fooled once again

"But I wannaaa~"  
"He he he~ you can still have your cookies, dear~. After you drink your milk."

Milk with cookies?  
Oooh, he was in a good mood.

Not as good as if he made CHOCOLATE with cookies, but it was right below that in the "Undertaker's happy food chain".

"Undertaker's happy food chain" was the type of food Undertaker made, depending on his mood.  
I wasn't very good at giving names.

For example when he was nostalgic or sad, like at the beginnings of last month, soon after I snapped out of my stupor, he spent a whole day all melancholic, making cookies without any shape, like he was just playing with the dough.

When I tried to make lunch, I had been gently pushed aside, so Undertaker could play in the kitchen. Out of that, we got some shapeless, tasteless cookies, burnt pork and a single potato that seemed to have gone through hell and back.

He was still forbidden from cooking anything but cookies because of that.  
So, having seen how he cooked when he was at his lowest, I was healthily dubious of what the other, completely opposed, range of the spectrum would entail.

"What happened?"  
"What do you mean~?"  
"You're... happy. More than usual."  
"Is that a crime~?"

Yes.

"No... Unless you're happy because of a crime, in which case, yes, it's a crime."  
"Aww~ How cruel~ and here I thought you would be happy for me~"  
What, was he getting married or something?  
"Eh..."  
I didn't have to look for another home, did I? What if she didn't like me?  
"Congratulations?"  
"He he he~. What for~?"  
Eh... for... getting married?

Now that I think about it, what kind of asylum escapee would want to MARRY Undertaker?  
There had to be another explanation.

"Just stop beating around the bush and- You are enjoying this aren't you?"  
"Very much~"

Go bald old man.

Gulping down the milk I pounced on the cookies.  
Mine.

"I'm going out to see some clients of mine~, be a good girl~, will you~?"  
I nodded, I can be a good girl.  
Almost second nature.

I made a cute face, as if daring him to say I wasn't a good girl.

' _[Charm] Increased by one.'_

Undertaker cooed and gave me another cookie.

Considering what just happened, being cute wasn't that bad.  
It got me cookies.

Had to be cute more often.

"... Before you leave..."  
"Yes~?"  
"Give me my brush"  
"Aww~. What makes you think-"  
I took my brush from him without waiting for him to deny being in possession of my brush. As if he could claim innocence. I saw him.

I started brushing his long hair.  
It was comforting, I liked his long hair, and I loved how white it was, it flowed down to his knees, like a pearly waterfall.

Did I already say I loved Undertaker's hair?

Well, I did.

Even if it was attached to a stupidly infuriating old man.

"I wish I had your hair..."  
"Did you say something, little Lia~?"  
"No. Your mind plays tricks on you. You are getting quite old, after all, who knows, maybe you're going senile."  
"Aww~ such mean words to me~ why do I get this, when everybody else gets a smile~?"  
I tried to fight it, but that did get a smile out of me.

Ass.

I had grown quite fond of Undertaker. For all the mean words he got, I think I haven't been this happy since Kaito.  
No.  
I don't think I have ever been this content.

I was happy.

I made a new friend and, while I was in an unknown dimension and had lost contact with Kim and Kala, I felt more happy than I would have been, hadn't I met Undertaker.

I really owe him a lot.  
I owe his so much… that I am reluctant to leave him.

But I still needed to return home.

I had a hard time making friends, and while I was easily prone to flee when in distress, I found it hard to leave people behind. Especially if I considered them friends.

I was torn.

On one hand, this wasn't my home, it is true that I had adapted quite well, thanks to Undertaker, but I still got weird looks when I got out. This wasn't my time, and it was painfully obvious.

And Kim and Kala were most likely waiting for me.  
I couldn't bear the thought of staying here, leaving my friend worried for the rest of her life, while I happily pranced around eating cookies.

That was what Kaito did. That wasn't something I could do.

On the other hand... I really felt I owed Undertaker a big deal, he had rescued me, given me a place to sleep, food, trained me...  
Now that I think about it, I feel like a dog…  
Still, I felt I could not leave without repaying him somehow.

Something better than the laughs I gave him daily.

There had to be something.

Sigh.

I still had time, I hadn't gotten any clues on how to go back home.

The only quests I received since coming to this time were Minor Quests.  
I don't know what I need to do, to activate a Major Quest.

How does one usually gain a Main Quest, in videogames?

By following another Main Quest.  
Sigh.

Useless.  
The only Main quest I got was the one that brought me here, meaning that technically I should be able to find another main quest here.  
Such a thing hadn't happened.

Sigh.

"You're sighing an awful lot, this morning~. Is something in your mind?"  
Would he feel offended if I said I was thinking of how to get home?

"I don't know what to do, to thank you for all you have done for me so far."  
"Oh~? Nonsense, dear~. You provide me with the only thing I could ask for~, and more~ hi hi hi"  
"Yeah, laughter."  
"And company, dear~"  
I blinked. Huh...

I blushed, it was nice to hear your presence was appreciated, especially when you are technically freeloading.

Never mind the fact that I technically work here.

Still.

He had done so much for me.  
I have improved leaps and bounds this last month.

I was level 25! I was quite proud of my progress in this little time.

'[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: Undertaker's little pet  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 25  
Exp: 77% (2000 Exp)  
Hp: 276 Hp  
Mp: 180 Mp

Strength: 20  
Vitality: 46 (26+20)  
Dexterity: 21 (30+1)  
Intelligence: 30  
Wisdom: 30  
Luck: 25

Points: 0'

I felt like blushing happily at my Stats every time I looked at them.

I had to find a way to repay him.

As good as cookies were, I don't think he would appreciate them as much as I wanted him to.

It had to be something that made him tear up every time he looked at it and think: "that's my cute little assistant~" with that creepy drawl he has.

A material gift then?  
Of course, the memories we made won't be forgotten and I will definitely never forget Undertaker, but… I wanted a physical representation of our friendship.

Something that showed how much though and work I'd put into it.  
Something handmade, maybe?

But what?  
I wasn't good at crafting things...

Well, no, that's not true. I know how to sew.

A scarf? Uhh...

I tried imagining Undertaker with a green scarf around his neck.  
It wasn't bad, it was a better idea than a hat or a pair of mittens...

But, would that get a smile out of him, every time he laid his eyes on it?

The scarf wasn't a bad idea, but it probably wasn't the epiphany I was looking for...

I could still make the scarf, I just needed... something else, something funny, but something that was still... _me_.

"Looks like steam is about to come out of your ears, little Lia~." We exchanged positions, with him blatantly setting the brush aside, and playing with my hair.

Sigh.  
My hair was already tangle-free, but if he kept playing with it, I would need to brush it again.

Going back to what I had been thinking.

I don't know what to give him, I could draw silly fluffy animals killing each other and he would still like it.  
Probably.

You know what? Epiphanies only happened in anime and shows, so I'll just make a scarf, maybe with one or two fluffy animals sown into it.  
Because fluffy animals were cute.

I closed my eyes, imagination running wild.  
Ideas flooding my brain like water.

* * *

Sewing a scarf turned out ridiculously easy, as I had been practicing my [Sewing] Skill, which apparently also included knitting.  
I ended up sewing a cute sheep and a cat into one end of the scarf, a skull on the other end. The sheep was fluffy and cute.  
I liked the sheep.

But, of course, only now I realize that the best time to give the scarf would have been in winter...

Which had just finished. It was still slightly cold, but not enough to gift someone a scarf.

Sigh...

Next, I ended up making a cute, fluffy alpaca doll, it was cute, but I wasn't sure that it would be an appropriate gift either...

I had put my birthday as time limit, which was bad, because I only had three days left, and any and all gifts I made turned out to be... not good enough.

I couldn't even gift him ALL of my possible gifts, because I would end up literally swarming him under a pile of gifts. I couldn't go around overbearing my poor boss.

In fact, I even had to get my hands on some paper to make a list with every gift I had already made, with another list of ideas I had already discarded.

Mainly, because I found myself considering ideas I had already tried, which was a precious time lost, time I couldn't spare.  
My memory had improved, but I was still capable of forgetting my own head if it wasn't because it was attached to me.

I looked at my cute doodles of the sheep and cat.  
Damn, that was precious space and time wasted, I would need more paper.

I blinked.

Huh.

I could just draw him something... like a comic or something funny like that...  
I gripped my head between my hands, Wait I was having an idea...

Eh...

Ah... it's gone...

No it's not!

Alright, I have it.

He liked laughing. I could draw him funny stories that would make him laugh. The funny adventures of Mr. Sheep and Tom the Tomcat.  
I wasn't the most imaginative around, alright. I had exhausted all my imagination power in the last gifts.

And THEN I could give him all of those gifts that had Mr. Sheep and Tom the Tomcat on it.  
Maybe I could somehow include the alpaca.

It would be like...  
... what was the word?  
Advertising? No...  
Merchandise!

And everything would be like one whole gift. And it wouldn't be as overwhelming as if I just gave him everything without reason.

Yes, yes. That is perfect!  
Well done, Dalia. You're a mastermind.

I need more paper.

* * *

Alright, I had finished.  
I made a story worthy of a prize. It had love, it had cuteness, a great mystery, an exciting fight, blood, death, and a wonderful plot twist.

The plot twist might have been a last minute arrangement, but after writing a very big and imposing 'The end' I realized I had put an extra page...  
Oops.

So I actually could consider that last page like the... that sequence that comes after credits, in the movies...

What was the word? After-credits? Epilogue?  
Urgh, doesn't matter.  
My story has one.

With a plot twist and character death. Was I evil or what?

I started laughing evilly, I wasn't very good at it, but it's the thought that counts.

"Mwahahaha!"  
"What has gotten into you now?"

Sadly, I had completely forgotten Undertaker was in the same room.  
He he…

I blushed.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

An eyebrow rose up to his hairline, out of sight thanks to his messy hair, which was partially covering his eyes and forehead.  
I noticed he doesn't bother hiding his eyes as much, when it's just the two of us.

I don't mind, I have grown used to his eyes, and now I think they are quite nice. They are still a bit too intense to look at for long periods of time, but I was making progress.

I still think blue eyes would be better suited for him.  
Not my kind of blue eyes, of course. I meant icy blue eyes.

He would look like a snow queen.

I wasn't about to say it to his face, though. I didn't feel like being laughed at.

"Did you gain anything in the dungeon?"  
Oh, yeah. Lately monsters have started giving me more money and items. Maybe because of my luck.

I opened my inventory, and dumped a wide assortment of goods, ranging from Zombie teeth, to Ent Wood, including an enchanted pickaxe, Deer horns and even a sweet substance that smelled like honey, which I got from the carnivorous plants.  
"You didn't have to dump it all on me, dear~. I just asked~"  
Nyeh, he can keep that. I noticed he likes to investigate anything that comes out of my ability.

I don't need the wood anymore. I had already finished the cover of my book. It was more of a pamphlet, but I still managed to use a bid of wood as a cover to make it a little less… pamphlet-like… eh… to give it a more official look. I had polished the wood and sown the pages together with string. All completely handmade.

"You look happy, dear~. Can I ask as to why~?"  
"Because I am"

He probably wasn't expecting that answer, which made me snicker.  
He he.  
He looks like a dork.

"Ah, tomorrow..." Uh... how can I ask this?  
I blushed. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I want to spend the day together, even if we don't celebrate it.  
I want to have fun in my birthday, at least this year.

But... would I come across as needy, if I asked if we could close shop tomorrow, and go do something interesting?  
We didn't even need to go out.  
We didn't even need to close the shop, he still has a job to do… and I'm not sure if he has to go to a funeral tomorrow.

I just want to...

Spend my birthday with someone.  
Not alone.

I tried to blink away treacherous tears with moderate success.

How to ask this?  
Should I even bother?  
Maybe he already has something planned, he has two jobs after all, and I would be selfishly imposing my wishes above his own...  
"Ah... never mind..."

A hand snatched mine, preventing me from running away. A pale hand with black, long nails, with a ring on its index finger, and a scar in the pinky one. Undertaker's hand.

"Now, now~ how about you finish asking your question, before running away~? I don't bite, my dear~"  
I know. I was the one who had a tendency to bite anything that gets in front of my mouth. Like that time I accidentally bit Undertaker finger, thinking it was a cookie.  
It was an awkward moment. At least for me, Undertaker found it hilarious.

"Tomorrow is my birthday... and I thought we could do something together... to celebrate..." that came out even worse that I thought.  
Undertaker blinked. "Tomorrow is your birthday? Well, why didn't you say so~ I would have bought ingredients to make you a cake~ with cookies~"

Cookies?

' _[Charm] has leveled up by one.'_

Oh, I have the [Charm] Skill quite high... does that mean I get the cookies?

I kept giving him the puppy eyes, at least until he confirms that I am getting cookies for my birthday.  
He snickered and bopped my nose.  
I gave a little squeal.  
So I get the cookies, right?

"Cookies?"  
"Yes, cookies~"

Yes!  
I tackled him. He's definitely my favorite person right now.

I rubbed my cheek against his. "What kind of cookies?"  
"Any kind you want~"  
Any kind?!

"Chocolate cookies?"  
"Of course~"

That's it.  
I'm creating a new religion in which I will praise him as the god of cookies.

I'm calling it… Cooki-ligion.

"Feed meeee..."  
"He he he~"  
I might have said that a little bit more creepily than necessary, considering I was literally next to his face, but Undertaker was the king of creeps, so he shouldn't be too bothered.

I am more bothered with my own creepiness than he is.

I still didn't miss the comical anime sweatdrop on his head.

"Glad you have me in such high regards~..."  
I gave him space to breath and laughed at his face.  
It was nice to sometimes be able to laugh at his expressions, instead of the other way around.

* * *

A singsong voice urged me to awake, cold hands pulling at my cheeks and a voice like melted honey saying words my brain was too asleep to properly register.

"Noo... 'Taker... stop..."

The roughhousing didn't stop, rather it seemed to increase, and as I was forcefully dragged from the realm of the dreams, I recognized what I was hearing as a birthday song.

As the song ended, bleary eyes opened and rested on the dark and white, blurry figure of my boss and benefactor.

"Go bald..."

That was the only thing my mouth and my brain seemed to agree on, as I uselessly attempted to go back to sleep.  
I had to give up, as Undertaker's laugh was a force of nature that could shake mountains and awake sleeping beauties without needing a kiss at all.  
He laughed so loud, that I don't think even the dead could sleep through that.

"Why...? Why you hate me so...?"  
"Hi hi hi~ Wakey Wakey~ today is your birthday~"  
Ah, yes. One more year that I have been alive in this world. Go me.

I had wanted to spend my birthday with someone, that did not mean I wanted to celebrate or anything.  
Of course that did not mean that I DIDN'T want to celebrate...  
I just don't appreciate being woken up.

"Go bald, 'Taker..."

"Aww, that's not very nice~. After I went through the trouble of making you chocolate cookies~ I guess I can eat them by myse-"  
I flew to the kitchen before he even finished talking.

"Cookies!"  
He's not getting any. ANY.  
Alright maybe one. But not more than one.

Undertaker found me in the kitchen, eating cookies like my life depended on it.  
"Be careful now~ wouldn't want you chocking and dying on your birthday~"

"This is the best birthday I have ever had" It was completely true, nothing could compare to this. And it's not like there was anything to compete with.

"The day barely started dear~ I don't see how you can say this is the best birthday you've had"  
Oh, believe me, it is.

"I have a gift for you."  
He blinked, surprised. "I'm afraid you misunderstood what birthdays are: you are supposed to RECIEVE gifts, not give them~."  
I blinked at him.

"Don't care, I made this, and I might as well give it to you."

I blushed. Was it alright, to give him this?  
I already made it, so I wasn't about to turn back now.

I took the handmade book, which still looked more like a pamphlet. But with covers.  
"It's a story about a cat and a sheep."  
Alright, now I feel stupid. Obviously, it had been a horrible idea. Why did I even think he would appreciate this?  
"He he he~ this looks interesting~ how about you read it to me while I brush your hair~?"

* * *

"-Hello, Mr. Hitsuji, would you like a cup of tea?  
and Mr. Hitsuji says: No, thanks, I don't like tea.  
Alphye the alpaca gasps and shouts: ah! How could you not like tea?! This is a great slight to my family line, and I will have to kill you!

Then Alphye tries to kill Mr. Hitsuji despite her unrevealed feelings for the Sheep.  
Blood flies.

BLOOD! ~

Blood and guts.  
No dead though, only blood and guts."

A snicker.

"But then, suddenly! Tom the Tomcat comes in and offers them cookies, and everyone makes peace, because everyone likes cookies.

The end."

Undertaker couldn't contain himself any longer.  
"Ha ha ha! He he he he~ hi hi hi~ I have to- I have to say- he he he~" I smiled happily.  
At least he had liked it, even if it was childishly stupid. But that was the goal.

Should I reveal the plot twist after the end? I wanted him to discover it himself, but at the same time, I had noticed that here 'the end' was a terribly final thing.

In my time, hardly ever any movie ended with a 'the end', because we simply couldn't comprehend that something could be absolutely final. There was always a continuation, a second part.

Even death wasn't a 'the end'. After life there was a continuation, an afterlife, Heaven or Hell, that would be better or worse, but it was a continuation of death.

Maybe I shouldn't have put a 'the end'? Even movies, after credits, there usually was a few more minutes of movie, a continuation.  
In my book, after the ending, there was a continuation, and at the end of it I had put a 'the end?' As a playful joke. Now I wasn't sure if he would get it.

Maybe I should explain that there was another page...

Maybe I should leave him to discover it on his own though.  
It would be like a surprise, if he ever decided to re-read the book.

I liked that idea.

"He he he~ I have to say, the sheep on these pictures, Mr. Hitsuji, reminds me an awful lot of that cute pajama of yours~"  
Uh, well I might have taken a bit of inspirations here and there.

"The cat reminds me of you~" Eh? Well... that's...  
I grumbled something under my breath, trying to hide my blush.

Lies, that's not true. The cat was just rightfully appreciative of the wonders of cookies.  
Undertaker was being an annoying old man.

"Awww~ how cute~"  
Shuddup.

I think by now my whole face was a deep scarlet color.

I gave him the pamphlet and took the brush from his hands, he hadn't even been using it, just looking at the pamphlet as I read, with his chin resting on my shoulder.

I turned around and made him do the same, brushing his hair to absolute perfection.  
Like liquid silver.

Sigh.  
I loved his hair.

"What is the plan~?"  
Uh... did there need to be one?  
"How does 'no-plan' sound?"  
"He he he~ interesting~"

* * *

"I need you to take over the shop today, dear~."  
Eh?  
I have never taken over the shop.  
At most, I have simulated to, under the supervision of Undertaker.

"Something very interesting came up~, but I find myself unable to close the shop, as I'm expecting the Earl to come pick up a special delivery~"  
So... I had to stay here and give Phantomhive his "delivery".

"I will... do my best."

Yesterday, my birthday, had definitely been one of the best birthdays I had. It wasn't anything fancy or anything that complicated.  
Just two friends, laughing and talking.  
With the occasional cuddle.  
Undertaker was very cuddly.  
I would have never figured that out if it wasn't because every day I woke up to find myself trapped in a hug.

Ah...  
I blushed.  
Nothing scandalous, of course, it was a platonic kind of cuddle, but it was nice to have someone close while sleeping.

It made me feel less lonely.  
And it had been the only way for me to get some shut eye, after my freak out.

I never figured out what happened, exactly, just that I was kidnapped and had a breakdown, before Undertaker rescued me.

We had started sleeping in the same coffin... after Undertaker had gone through that strange melancholic mood swing.  
It had been on the first week of April... he had just suddenly started doing disasters in the kitchen.

It was insulting to the art of cookie-making.

So I tried to cheer him up with an advice I was given, long ago.  
I'm not sure it worked, but that night neither of us had wanted to sleep alone.

Since then, every night one of us sneaked into the other's sleeping place.

Since then Undertaker was... even cuddlier than normal...

It reminded me of Cat, to be honest. A mix between a plea for attention, a sense of entitlement to being cuddled and a slightly overbearing, but cute nonetheless, enticement into doing exactly what he wanted.

All in all.  
He was a cuddly ass.

Speaking of another kind of ass.

"Are you taking Hercules with you?" He seemed to consider it for a while.  
"Yes, you can go make sure everything is in order~. One last thing~ Give this only to Phantomhive or one of the servants you have met. No one else~"

' **New Minor Quest! [In Charge]** **  
** **Quest requisites:** **  
** **-Attend all the customers that come while Undertaker is away.** **  
** **-Give [Mysterious Package] to [Panthomhive carrier]**

 **Quest Rewards:** **  
** **\- Increased Friendship with [Panthomhive carrier]  
\- Increased respect with [Undertaker].** **  
** **-800 exp points.'**

' **Quest accepted'**

Ok.  
I can do that.

It shouldn't be- No, don't tempt fate.  
Learn your lesson.

After Undertaker left I stayed in the shop, staring blankly at the door.

...

I'm in charge.

I'm boss.

...

Being boss is boring.

No one is coming.

Blerg.

No, Dalia stop making funny faces, if someone does come in, you don't want them to think you're insane.

If someone enters I will greet them warmly and nicely, putting all of my... 14 levels of Charm to good use.  
14 already? My goodness.

I blushed.  
I wasn't that cute, though.

Maybe this month I had let myself use the cuteness skill a bit more, but that doesn't mean I am.  
I was red faced.

Was I really cute? But cute things are... cute.  
I was... cowardly, useless, and definitely not cute.

Well, maybe I didn't need to be cute to use the Charm skill.

I had noticed...  
Since I got to level 10 in Charm, sometimes the background does... strange things.

Like... a background full of... flowers and... Cookies.  
I... don't quite understand how.

But it smelled an awful lot like anime.

I... should just accept this like everything else in my life.  
Not questioning.

I heard footsteps outside the door and, perking up I gave the first customer of the day the biggest friendliest smile I could come up with.

Now that I think about it, since leveling up my Charm, my smiles and facial expressions are far easier to do and less fake looking.

Feeling but ignoring the flowery background behind me, I kept smiling while greeting the customer.  
"Hello~. Welcome to Undertaker's shop, How can I help you today~?"

The woman looked terribly spooked. Why? What had I done wrong?  
"I... I wanted to- could you make a coffin with these measures?"  
Undertaker also made his own custom coffins. It was part of the job.

Seeing as I had somehow scared the woman, I tried to be even more welcoming, if possible.  
"Yes, of course~! Is there a specific material, time limit or any other specifications you would like to make~?"

This wasn't working, the woman was clearly disturbed. Maybe it was the spooky environment? But I had improved it since I got here? Wasn't it good enough?  
"N- No..."

No? It wasn't good enough?! Did she read my mind- Ah, no.  
She meant no specifications.

Making sure to get some way to contact her when the coffin was ready, I saw the woman leave.

I was doing something wrong.

The next three customers showed similar reactions.  
Why?  
Did I smell funny? Was something in my hair?  
Was I accidentally wearing Undertaker's clothes?!

No, to all of them.

Then, why was I scaring customers?

This is not making sense.

I had been half the day attending customers, without barely moving from the front room of the shop. There weren't a whole lot, but I still didn't want to miss any, if I did go away for even a second. Or miss the Panthomhive.

The door opened again.

Alright, Dalia, one more time.

"Hello~. Welcome to Undertaker's shop, How can I help you today~?" I was sure that by now the background had more glitter than a circus performer, but I had to give it my all, despite that, with every spooked customer, my courage to act more or less normal, evaporated.

This time it was a man, and he looked quite... disturbed.  
"Good day, Miss Dalia, I am here to pick up a package for Vincent."

Eh?

I squinted at the man.  
After a good five minutes I realized he was the German man I met when I went with Undertaker to Panthomhive's.

The scary one.  
What was his name...?

Oh, yes.

"Good day Mister Wilson, Undertaker had to leave, but he gave me the package for Mister Vilvent."  
The man smiled politely, his eye twitching.  
"I see you still have trouble with names..."

Oopsie. I blushed. What was his name again?  
"My name is Diedrich, miss."  
Ah, Yes...  
"Sorry..."

Oh, well... he could give me an answer to the problem I have been having.  
Should I…?

Yes, I needed to, I had to do this right. I was boss for today.

"Say... you looked quite... spooked when you entered, and I noticed some people have been having that same reaction... Uh... usually it would be easily explained by Undertaker's presence, but... he's not here, and it keeps happening, and... I know it could be because it's a funeral parlor but... any thoughts?"

Die... Diedrich?  
Diedrich looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"It's a funeral parlor, normally people are not so... happy to receive dead people... you are far too happy."

I froze.

I was a dingus.

Of course people would be disturbed by me, I was practically sprouting sparkles like an electric power plant.

I depressedly took the package from my inventory, where it was safer, and gave it to Wilson.

' **Minor Quest Update! [In charge]** **  
** **-Give [Mysterious Package] to [Panthomhive carrier] -Completed-'**

"Thank you, Miss Dalia, I hope you have a good day... and don't mind scaring the customers, I am sure your boss does that enough on his own." He seemed unsure with his reassurance, but he was quite nice to try.

And, well...  
His words were definitely true.

"Goodbye Mister Wilson! Have a good day~!"  
Before the door closed after Wilson, he almost missed his step and almost fell, luckily he made an impressive recovery, turning around and shouting: "It's Diedrich!" With an angry expression.

I gave him a sheepish smile through the door, and he finally left.

I need to start remembering names.

Diedrich, like someone that died being rich. He's a rich zombie.  
Alright, no, he's not a rich zombie, I need better ways to learn names.

Not many more customers came, before Undertaker did. I told him I gave the package to... Diedrich.

' **Minor Quest Completed! [In charge]** **  
** **Quest Rewards:** **  
** **-Increased Friendship with [Panthomhive carrier]** **  
** **-800 exp points.'**

"Well done little Lia~ How were the customers, I hope none tried to bite you~?"  
Uh... no, more like I completely freaked them out.  
I said nothing.

Undertaker blinked, pushing his hair away from his face.  
"Did someone bite you?"  
"No..."  
"Did _you_ bite someone?"

Hey! I resent that.

"No..."  
"What did you do~?"  
"Nothing! I greeted customers, asked what they wanted, wrote down everything because I already forgot all of it, and may or may not have creeped them out a bit... unintentionally."

A snort.

"Looks like you did my job better than me~ I will have to consider putting you in greeting duty more often~."

Eh...

"I would definitely want to see what did you do, to scare customers~."  
"It just... I didn't mean to, alright? I'm gonna go make something to eat, do you want anything in particular?"  
"That stew you made the other day~"

I went to the kitchen to see if we had everything. "If you get us the ham, I think we have everything else we need for the stew…"  
"Anything else we might need~?"  
"Uh… Potatoes... and pork, and anything else you want to eat tonight… And whatever you need to keep making cookies."

He snickered, but covered his eyes once again, preparing to go outside.

I could swear I heard a pedant: "You only want me for my cookies", before he left.

Duh.

That was obvious.


	13. Chapter 12

**Ap3x-phantom made the cutest fanart of Dalia ever! You can see the link in my profile, and I strongly recommend looking at it, it's really amazing! Thanks!**

 **I hope everyone is prepared for another chapter full of laugh and fluff! I just can't help myself.**

 **Disclaimer: Black Butler belongs to Yana Toboso.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

The second time I went to Phantomhive manor, I managed to avoid being in a dress.  
I was in my black furisode with lotus, black pants and tennis shoes.

As long as I was concerned, this was the best thing I could wear.

Keep away from me those tight corsets and multiple layers of cloth.

"Stay here, dear~. And don't drive the poor servants up a wall, will you~?"

Hey, I'm not that annoying.  
"Go bald old man."

He snickered and stage whispered to Mr. Newspaper Guy, who had the misfortune of being next to him, something about how I wouldn't be that much of a bother, once I found a specific target to torment.

I do _not_ torment people.

…

At least not knowingly.

If I had ammunition, I would have thrown something at his head.  
I could throw my shoe, but I didn't want him to steal it, and have to go without a shoe until Undertaker came back out from his "meeting".

"Do not worry, my lady, I will make sure you have a welcome stay, while Mister Undertaker is busy with lord Phantomhive."  
I turned around, seeing an old man bowing.

A butler.

I gave a look to Undertaker, as if saying: "see, I'll be fine". I turned to the butler, waiting for him to propose an activity to entertain ourselves.

"Would you like tea, my lady?"  
Uh...

I don't like tea, but…Why not...?  
It's better than being bored.

I followed the butler around, he sometimes said this or that. He seemed very kind, like an old grandpa.

Uh... what was his name again?

"My name is Tanaka, young lady, I am in charge of making sure our guests have a pleasant afternoon."

Oh…  
Tanaka.  
That sounds Japanese.

Is he Japanese? He doesn't look Japanese.  
Is that offensive? People can be Japanese without being Japanese.  
Maybe his parents liked Japan.  
I like Japan.

He gave me tea, and stayed aside, waiting for me to finish.

Well, I don't know how nobles do this, but this is not fun at all.

…

Were my eyes deceiving me, or was that a little Phantomhive?

Goodness, every day I sound more and more like Undertaker.  
I hope don't end up turning into him. That would be horrifying. Imagine waking up one morning and instead of seeing your face in the mirror, you see Undertaker's...  
Straight from a horror movie.

Alright, maybe not. He did have a nice face, after all.

Tanaka approached the little Phantomhive.  
I'm quite sure he's the young one, the shy one.  
The one that Undertaker almost gave a heart attack to.

I smiled kindly at him, waving a hand. He widened his eyes, hiding behind a curtain, before peeking out once again, timidly waving back.

Aww…

So cute.

Contain the urge to fangirl, Dalia. People will think you're a weirdo.

Tanaka bowed before going to... somewhere I didn't know.  
I offered one of my pastries.

While I loved cookies, pastries, on the other hand, were not that appetizing to me.

The youngest of the twins, though, seemed like he had been offered the world on a silver platter.

He was very cute, alright?  
His cute eyes were compelling me to give him anything he wanted.  
It was like looking at a sad, kicked puppy in the eyes.

There was no escaping. I was putty under his command.

Tanaka came back and said something to the young Phantomhive, who was ostensibly less afraid of the lady who gave him sweets, even if she had been with the scary, creepy old man, the first time they saw each other.

Whatever the butler said, it made the mini-Phantomhive happy, as he ran away in excitement, after taking the offered sweets.

Silence returned to the room. To be honest I was a little bored, this… eh… Masaka...? Ta… Tanaka? He wasn't much of a conversationalist. Neither was I, but I couldn't spend the whole time drinking tea and doing nothing, I would go insane from boredom.

A poof was heard behind me, followed by a "Ho ho ho~" I turned to the place the butler had occupied a second ago, and… well…

I blinked.  
How.

How did he…?

I want to know.  
I need to know.  
I want to learn to do that.  
I need to learn to do that.

"Can you… teach me to do that?"  
"Ho ho ho."

 **'New Minor Quest! [Small and cute]** **  
** **Quest Requisites:** **  
** **-Sit with Tanaka in the Kotatsu** **  
** **-Drink Tea** **  
** **-Learn Skill [Impassive]** **  
** **-Learn Skill [Meditation]** **  
** **Quest Rewards:** **  
** **-Learn [Chibi Form]** **  
** **-Increased Friendship with Tanaka'**

I felt my eyes start sparkling.

Tanaka had somehow become a smaller, cuter and more adorable version of himself.  
And I would learn to do the same.

I nodded, sat next to Tanaka in the Japanese kotatsu that appeared out of nowhere, ignoring the table with porcelain teacups, and took a wooden Japanese cup full of tea, sipping on it, closing my eyes.  
The quest said I had to learn to meditate.  
"Ho ho ho."

Oh? Of course, mind clear and lucid, ignoring everything else. That's a very useful advice. Thanks Tamaka.  
Focusing on my breathing, not trying to control it, just focusing on the sensation.

…

My mind was clear.

…

I felt... content.

…

I found it quite easy to just focus on my breath, leaving aside any other thoughts.  
Maybe it was my tendency to have a single-minded focus, when I was trying to do a task… I was a bit of a one track mind.

…

I wasn't sure when I got the alert, but I found that a meaningless concern.

' _Through an action, you have created a new passive & active skill: [Meditation].'_

I smiled and opened my eyes, I felt quite content, and unusually happy.

I had to do this more often.

"Ho ho ho."

I kept smiling, not stopping even when a pair of twins and a dog ran through the room like bats out of hell.

I ignored them, just as Tanaka did, and kept smiling, like I hadn't even noticed they passed through here, not even when the two kids ran back, dog hot on their heels, to return to wherever they came from.

' _Through an action, you have created a new passive skill: [Impassive].'_

' **Minor Quest Complete! [Small and cute]** **  
** **Quest Rewards:** **  
** **-Learn [Chibi Form]** **  
** **-Increased Friendship with Tanaka'**

Ah...  
I feel so happy...

I want to learn more about these new skills...  
Opening the skills menu, I calmly looked through the passive skills.

' _[Impassive]: Level 1._ _  
_ _The ability to ignore your surroundings and avoid outwardly reacting to them._ _  
_ _-1% to Negative Emotions._ _  
_ _-10% less likely to react to [Distraction], [baffle] and other statuses that impede a quick response from an attack.'_

Oh, that's useful. I smiled.

The other two skills I found them inside the Passive & Active skills.

' _[Meditation]: Level 1_ _  
_ _The ability to focus on your breath, clearing the mind and de-stressing the user._ _  
_ _-10% to negative emotions._ _  
_ _+15 to Content and Happy._ _  
_ _-Gives Status [Calm] for 1 hour'_

' _[Chibi form]: Max level_ _  
_ _The user becomes a smaller and cuter version of themselves._ _  
_ _Passive effect:_ _  
_ _+30% [Charm], +20% Social actions._ _  
_ _Active effect:_ _  
_ _-Str, Dex, Int, reduced -90%_ _  
_ _-Incapable of speech if [Charm] is below level 15_ _  
_ _-Damage from Attacks (given and received) reduced by 80%_ _  
_ _-Mp and Hp restoration increased by 60%_ _  
_ _-Everyone finds you adorable. +50% to [Relationship]'_

Wao...

The chibi form has its obvious drawbacks, as it's obviously not a battle form, but it can be useful to make friends, endear yourself to someone or restore Health and Mp.  
That last one I find especially useful.

I need to use this.  
From what I see it doesn't cost Mp, like other active or Passive & Active skills... which makes sense, because this is an ability to restore Mp, it would be counterproductive if you needed magic to restore your magic points.

I used the skill.

A cloud and a 'poof' later, I was I smaller, child-like version of myself.

"Ho ho ho" Tanaka was quite pleased too, if that was any indication.  
I giggled. This was quite fun.

We were sitting there for a long while, I don't know how much, and I didn't particularly care, in this form, these things seemed meaningless.

I only got up when I heard Undertaker's footsteps.

His, were a very particular set of footsteps. He used high heels, because, as he explained once, it was necessary when one worked with fluids like he did, meaning blood.  
Apparently, in this time high heels weren't feminine, no matter how much I tried to tease him about it.

The footsteps were not alone, but I calmly rose to my new full height, which was considerably shorter than what I was used to, and ran to where I knew Undertaker was about to turn the corner.

Right as I planned, Undertaker turned the corner, just to have his leg tackled by a miniaturized Dalia, cute eyes looking up at him.

"What did you do to my assistant?" There was a note of disbelief to his voice, and I assaulted him with my full cuteness power.

"Hi~ 'Taker~"

A beam of flowers, rabbits, rainbows, sheep, cookies, candy and innumerable other cute things shot straight to undertaker, leaving him frozen, fish eyed and his hair left an utter mess.

' _Through an action, you have created a new skill: [Eat Rainbows]'_

He collapsed.

"Ah! Don't dieeeee!" Anime tears flowing like waterfalls, I don't think I gave him much room to recover.

I hugged his face, which was almost as big as my own body.  
"Takeeeer~" His ears were red. And any part of his face I could see, for that matter.  
"...Too... ute..." His voice was faint and raspy, and I didn't understand what he was saying.  
"Eh~?"

He suddenly got up in a flash, picked me up like I was a cat and put his face literally next to mine.

"You're too cute, little Lia~" was that an accusation?  
"Uh... no!" Immediately I got Undertaker's cheek rubbing mine, among cuddles and hugs. He murmured something about being too cute for this world and how he would eat me.

Wah! I felt so loved... Except for the cannibalistic comment.

I tried to escape futilely.  
"Save meee~!"

There was no escape, I was doomed to be Undertaker's cuddly plush toy for the rest of my days.

"Tanaka... What did you do...?"  
Ah, that was Vailvent. He was sweatdropping, like Diedrich, who seemed like he would rather tear his eyes out than keep looking at this. He was blushing, too.

I got re-situated under Undertaker's armpit, like a mini-sack of potatoes.  
I tried squirming and resisting, but it was useless.

For the rest of our visit I was strictly prohibited from bothering other servants, being away from Undertaker or even touching the floor.

I grumbled.

I hate being grounded. Or in this case away from any form of ground.

I was a good girl, I swear!

* * *

I jumped on Undertaker's back.  
"I'm not sure how you learnt to transform into that, but apparently you like that form a lot~ hi hi~"

He was in his bed, but that wasn't surprising, as it was the middle of the night.  
I knew he hadn't been asleep. Neither of us had been able to sleep on our own.

My small, cat-sized body used Undertaker's hair as a blanket of sorts, hugging the back of his neck.  
He hummed and turned around, instead putting me against his chest.

...

It was silent.

...

"Do you believe in life after death?"

At least for a while.

I blinked, I had started to become sleepy, and the question had been unexpected.

"Uh... maybe."  
"Maybe~?"

Uh.

Something was on his mind today, and wasn't willing to let me rest until his curiosity was satisfied.

"Why you ask?"  
"That time..." Urgh... be more specific 'taker I can't read minds. "That time you told me to write a letter..." Oh... that. "If you hadn't believed in something after death, why would you recommend something like that?"

Ah... Let's see...

The letter thing… that had been during that time he had been down in the dumps, cooking deformed cookies.

After some prying I learned it had been the birthday of a friend of his, which had died.  
I told him to write a letter and burn it afterwards, and wherever that friend was, they would receive it.

It had been something I had been told, long ago. Even if I didn't believe in a life after death, I realized that putting your feelings into words was therapeutic, even if you didn't think those words would ever reach that someone.

I explained that reasoning to Undertaker.

"But that doesn't answer my question, dear~. What do you think happens after death?"  
"You're the god of death, why don't you tell me?"  
"I only collected the souls and cinematic records, what happens to the souls afterwards is not part of our job. We only store and organize the cinematic records. Besides~, I retired long ago."

He retired?  
How does one retire from being a Reaper?

Now that I think about it... he only said that wasn't a part of his job, not that he didn't know what happened...  
Sigh...

"Mhmmm... I guess... souls... I don't know."  
A poke on the cheek.  
At some point of the conversation I had returned to my original form, probably when I had been woken up.

Yawn.

"I suppose I would like to think that, after death, the souls are reincarnated into something else. I... really don't know what to believe... it would be nice if every religion had a fragment of truth to them, and that you could only understand what happens when you mix all of the religions... Like a big puzzle. Mainly, I suppose I will find out when I die… If I ever find out."

Undertaker made a 'huh' sound.  
"So, you're too afraid of saying that anyone is wrong, that you prefer to think that everyone is right~" Well, he could look at it however he wanted. Just let me sleep "... People usually think of death as the end. The end of life, the end of everything. I wonder what lies beyond 'the end'. I find it a very interesting subject."

As important as the conversation seemed, Undertaker was warm and I felt my eyes growing heavier.  
It's not my fault, I was tired, and Undertaker's voice was like honey, sweet and sticky.

"Good night 'Taker..."  
He snickered.  
"Good night, my little Lia~"

* * *

"Nooooo... leave me to die, 'taker..."  
Undertaker turned to me with an unreadable expression, before picking me up by the scruff of my neck like I was a cat and scolding me.

Or at least he _would have_ scolded me, if a certain, and stupid, Mr. Dimwit hadn't decided to use that moment to attack.

I don't know what the hell was going on, but I'm not letting them destroy the shop, I'm staying here.  
Even if 'here' was the apparent middle of a battle.

If I leave, they will just make it worse.

Lately, Mr. Dimwit has gotten desperate, entering through the window on multiple occasions, to try to get to Undertaker when he wasn't paying attention.

Undertaker took out his sotoba and wacked me on the head. Ouch.

And then he did the same with Mr. Dimwit.  
With far more force.

I heard a crack, and it wasn't the wooden weapon breaking.

The annoying Mr. Dimwit collapsed on the floor.

The first time I saw this happen I thought I would have a heart attack.  
But apparently, that wasn't enough to kill a reaper, as Mr. Dimwit always came back a few days later, as good as new.

It would be interesting if Mr. Dimwit was actually a whole family that looked the same and acted the same, coming here to avenge their fallen family members.

As far as Undertaker and I were concerned, it was a single Reaper coming back to make our life difficult.

Undertaker took my cheeks and started pulling.  
"Booo..."  
"What was that, little Lia~?"  
"Bothing..."  
"Really~? Because I don't think that sounded like nothing, dear~..."  
Damn, he was scary when he was cross.

His eyes shone creepily, his smile turned absolutely unsettling and he started doing this.  
Pulling my cheeks.

"Thiz iz abuze! Bozz iz bery meam..."  
I had taken to calling him 'boss' when he abused me. I really don't know why, but it was funny.  
"I'm not mean, little Lia~, I'm just making sure my cute little assistant does not do anything stupid ~."

Ouch.  
He used the concerned boss card, I'm in trouble.

"Bwaaaa..." Anime tears were my best bet at this point.  
He had somewhat gotten used to my inherent new cuteness, but I found out he was still a sucker for the puppy eyes and fake anime tears.

His ears turned an interesting shade of red, before he started squealing and hugging me.

Yes.  
Scolding averted.  
Mission accomplished!

I just have to endure the cuddling.

"Awww... It's not fair little Liaaa~, you're too cute~, and I still remember the fish faces you made when I first took you in~, they were so funny~."  
He just liked teasing me about them.

I managed to stick out my tongue at him, before he caught said tongue with his fingers.  
"Oh~, looks like I caught something~."

Nooooooo.

"Ack-!"  
My tongue!

I tried to mock-bite his fingers, but he didn't seem that worried about his fingers.

Grr... He knows I'm not really going to bite him.

That's cheating.

When I heard a groan, both I and Undertaker turned to Mr. Dimwit, who was getting up, barely conscious.

Both my hands were holding onto the hand that had my tongue in its grasp, the other one of Undertaker's hands was on my back, almost in an embrace, to keep me from falling to the floor.  
Undertaker was standing, I was sitting on a coffin.

Both of us were watching Mr. Dimwit.

Even if my tongue was getting dry.

"I will... next time I will definitely defeat you!" Ah... it was time for Mr. Dimwit to deliver his one-liner before retreating.

Mr. Dimwit turned around, just to bump into a coffin. He scrambled out of the shop, hitting walls and furniture alike on his way out.

...

"Ih feehl zohy fhor him"  
Undertaker glanced back at me.  
"Don't be, he's not worth it."

* * *

A kick.

"Ouch!"

"Just because we're using weapons doesn't mean the enemy can't use their hands and feet, dear~. You are far too focused on the weapon and less in your enemy's body."

Urgh. Not fair.

"That's cheating."  
"What if you're facing multiple enemies, will you tell them they're cheating, if they attack you all at once~?"  
"Yes!"

Undertaker started at me blankly.

"Again."

Noooo...

I got up.

"This is abuse."  
"This is training."  
"It's not if you're enjoying this."  
"You asked for it~"  
"I also asked for cookies an hour ago and I still can't see them."

He gave an overly-dramatic exasperated sigh.

"Just for your information, don't expect the chocolate ones."

Aww...

* * *

'You have gained 60000 exp points.'  
'Your level has increased by one'  
'Your level has increased by one'  
'Your level has increased by one'  
'Your level has increased by-'

Yes! I had managed to defeat the turtle on my own! …More or less on my own…

I was so proud of myself.

By the enthusiastic clapping Undertaker was quite proud, too.  
No way am I facing a boss without him near.

I still shiver when I remember my first encounter with a boss, the one from the Zombie Dungeon.

But never mind that, look at what I did!

And look at all of those level ups!

I'm definitely exploiting this.

* * *

I still wasn't used to being outside...  
I didn't like corsets, dresses and other clothes of this time, and people of this time didn't like my clothes either.

And they made it obvious by keeping their distance and sending me looks.

"Flowers~? How unusual of a killing method~." Well... for starters it wasn't the killing method... unless they chocked him full of flowers, before carving out the victim's chest.

I was uncomfortable here, reprimanding glares of the police aside, this was a murder scene.  
Well, they were the Scotland Yard, but I honestly couldn't call them that without feeling like I was somehow insulting them.

Most representations of Scotland Yard in my time of the Victorian era... they weren't very nice, even if I rationally knew they had done a lot of good things...

Besides, I was already influenced by Undertaker's opinion of Scotland Yard, which amounted to "a handful of headless chicken, making noise".

I think it wasn't fair, they had to be useful in some way...

Just because they didn't deal with the same things Undertaker did, meaning the Underworld, that didn't mean they couldn't handle... normal police things.

Like a theft.

They just... didn't specialize in murders.

They were just humans, someone had to cut them some slack, as far as I knew, in the Underworld not everyone had that 'being human' excuse.  
Starting with Undertaker.

Undertaker turned to me. "Do you smell that?"

He wasn't referring to the gag-inducing, default London smell, which I was sadly getting used to.

He was referring to some kind of idiot that had bathed themselves in cologne.

"Yes, someone is using perfume."  
"It's the flowers, dear."

The flowers?  
This is perfume, and not the kind these flowers should be making.

"Do you think it's related?"  
"Hi hi hi~. Maybe~" I looked at the flowers, what purpose did that accomplish? "And use your eyes, dear~"

Eh? Oh!  
Observe.  
Geez, I need to be constantly reminded of my own abilities.

I used Observe on the flowers, on the body, on the strange carvings that had been brutally engraved into their chests.  
I flinched. This was truly horrible.

My heart was aching in pain for this stranger. I hope he was already dead, when the killer started carving.

Observe said otherwise.

I had to look away, my stomach wasn't going to endure to keep looking at the poor man.

I told Undertaker everything I had found.  
It wasn't much, the kind of perfume, how unusual it was, the type of flowers, if they could be found around here, and the... specifications of that man's death. Including the carving with the symbol of the earth.

I felt horrible for this man, the amount of pain he had to go through before dying...

I had become somewhat less sensitive to dead bodies, not to another's pain.

* * *

Scotland Yard was full of fools.

Apparently they determined that the perfumed flowers were left by someone who found the body first, as a way to pay respects for not being able to report the body to the police or something similar. Which was stupid.

Even I saw that.

If someone had the time and energy to go buy enough flowers to open a shop, perfume each and every one of them and then scatter them around the crime scene, then they had enough time and energy to go to the police to report the body.

That had been done by someone who had enough time to carve an earth symbol into a still-alive victim. Like the killer.

It had been a few months since that, and Scotland Yard hadn't found anything at all. There hadn't been any more murders, but Undertaker was sure there would be.

In these last months there hadn't been anything particularly interesting or unusual.

I had kept improving my level by defeating monsters and training with Undertaker.

Boss monsters were the ones that gave the most experience, but they were harder to defeat, and at first I could only face one per day.

I am confident I could face a few, now...

I will have to test that.

Grabbing a cookie before going to the backyard I prepared to create a Dungeon.

' _You have been pulled into an empty Instant Dungeon'_

Eh?


	14. Chapter 13

**You. Yes, you, dear reviewer. You know who you are. That was the sneakiest review I've had the pleasure of reading. Here you have your omake. Enjoy it, because you deserve it. ;D**

* * *

Omake

The little Phantomhive was cute. Too cute for my poor heart.

He was such an adorable little boy... he was showing me his toys, right now.  
Isn't he a sweetheart?

"I like this one a lot... but he doesn't like to play with the ship, because he's afraid of water... And this is my game of chess... only father and Ciel can win against me!"

"I'm afraid that I'm no good at chess..."  
"Do you have a favorite toy, too?"  
"Well... Yes, in fact. It's a clown. His name is Tofu."  
"But... aren't clowns scary...?"  
"Yes... but not this one! This one is nice! He likes to watch me do things, so he makes me company."  
"Oh... like Ciel and I?"  
"Yes." I nodded. Exactly.

Such a smart kid. I want to hug him forever.

A head peeked into the door of the bedroom we were in. It was Ciel.  
"I'm not sure guests are supposed to enter here..."  
"Ah. Ciel! Miss Dalia was about to show me her favorite toy, too"

I was?

Oh, well. Why not? I mean... the little kid looks so cute... how can I refuse?

I showed Tofu to the twins. I was a little uncertain. Tofu was a bit old, what if they didn't like him?

The youngest of the twins wiped my fears away.  
"Woah! So cool! He's like the wizard! But better... It's not scary. Look! This is the wizard."

Little Phantomhive turned around to show me a wizard-looking doll.

Ciel was looking curiously at the toy. "Ours are better..."  
"Eh? No! Toto is nice!"  
I'm melting right here. Even if he did get Tofu's name wrong.

The little Phantomhive just defended Tofu. If that isn't the cutest thing I have seen this week I will eat Undertaker's hat. Again.

The younger twin showed me "the wizard" he talked about. They didn't really look alike... maybe the colors... and Tofu's hat may resemble that of this wooden toy.  
Tofu was definitely better.

That didn't mean that this toy wasn't cute, because it was. And it seemed very expensive.

"Wah... so cool..."  
The younger Phantomhive seemed to brighten at this.  
Such a cute little kid. I swear I'm internally gushing over him.  
He's the cutest kid I have ever met.

Look at those eyes! They are so... Argh! My poor heart... can't handle so much cuteness...  
Must. Resist. The urge. To hug.

The older twin peeped out behind us.  
"Sc-scary..."  
Both of us turned to look at Ciel. He seemed quite freaked out by something, but I couldn't find anything that would merit such a reaction.

"Ehh...?"  
Really, why did he look so spooked? Ciel hadn't gotten scared by Undertaker at all... so what could have scared him?  
Definitely not Tofu.

Neither the younger twin nor I found the clown scary, so it probably meant it wasn't.  
I mean... I was the less brave person I knew, and the younger of the Phantomhive twins was quite shy...

What on earth could have scared the oldest of the twins, so bubbly and carefree?

I looked from Ciel to his brother. He also looked confused.  
We exchanged glances, and shrugged.

"When I grow up, I want to make toys."  
"Really? That's so cool! I will definitely buy toys from you~"  
The boy smiled wide.

My heart. My poor heart. Cute kids are my weakness.

"Little Lia~?"  
Argh! Not yeeet! I want to play with the Phantomhives a little longer...

The two aforementioned twins turned to the door, glancing at me from time to time.

I sighed.

I wasn't really supposed to be here, anyways.

And the shy Phantomhive seemed to be about to faint, just by thinking of meeting the scary reaper again.

Taking Tofu with me, I waved goodbye, sneaking out of their bedroom.  
I silently walked to where I heard Undertaker call for me.

Ambushing Undertaker from behind, I jumped on his back, in my Chibi form, of course.  
Wouldn't want to break his back. Although, he didn't seem to mind, anyways.

"Where were you, little Lia~?"  
"Oh, you know... playing with kids my age"

* * *

 **Seriously, jj510, you did a very good job in baiting me. I really tried to resist, but I couldn't keep the ideas from coming, so I hope you at least enjoyed this short omake.**

 **Not like I had anything else to do... like studying... cough cough.**

 **Well, now that that's out of the way, Hello again everybody! Exams week is over, and I think a part of my soul went away with it. I'll survive, though.**

 **I always read and adore every single one of your reviews, you seriously are the best. I really spoil you guys too much, here you have more fuzzy feelings to make you melt. And laughter, because Undertaker doesen't behave.  
**

 **Next chapter has plot advancement! Finally! I was considering if I should literally grab Dalia and throw her into the plot. That won't be necessary now. So, cheers!**

 **Disclaimer: Black Butler belongs to Yana Toboso. I'm not Yana Toboso. I don't own Black Butler.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

I had been pulled into a dungeon.

I didn't create it, I hadn't had any time to.

What had happened?

A bark.  
Kala?

No.  
NO.  
Nononono!

A big and wet tongue strolled through my face, leaving it sticky and wet.  
That tongue belonged to a familiar black monstrosity.  
The black monstrosity went by the name of Biscuit.

Oh, great.  
Now what do I do with it?

I don't have Kala with me this time.

And I had stopped bringing big meaty snacks because I thought something like this would not happen anymore. Why had I thought that?  
Oh, yeah.

Because I was a lazy, stupid idiot.

And now I'm going to get eaten.

Or... Wait a second...  
I'm not going to get eaten! I hadn't been sitting on my hands since I saw Biscuit last.

I was higher leveled than Biscuit had been!

Damn! Just by level, I am stronger than Mr. Dimwit!  
That had to amount to something!

I just had to make sure Biscuit hadn't become stronger, since then.

' _[Name]: Biscuit_ _  
_ _Title: Dalia's unwanted lap dog_ _  
_ _Level: 30_ _  
_ _Health: 223 Hp_ _  
_ _Mana: 101 Mp_

 _Str: 52_ _  
_ _Vit: 31_ _  
_ _Dex: 27_ _  
_ _Int: 14_ _  
_ _Wis: 10_ _  
_ _Luck: 16_

 _Predominant emotion: Very Happy!_

 _A Demon Hound. The Smartest of the Hell hounds, can breathe fire and change into a human form._ _  
_ _Demon Hounds only listen to those they deem worthy._ _  
_ _This puppy has been looking for its master for a long time._

 _[With its master]: this dog is with its master. Gives: +10 Happy +10 Content,_ _  
_ _+40% to Skill learning. +15% to social interactions._

 _[Master is back!]: after a long time without seeing its master, this pup is very happy. +30 Happy +30 Excitable._ _  
_ _+10% to social interactions with master.'_

Well...  
Bad news: it had become stronger.  
Good news: I still was stronger.  
More bad news: Apparently Biscuit has a master.  
Worse news: _I_ was Biscuit's master.  
Possible good news: If Biscuit found a way to come here, it could probably find a way to go back home, and so could I.

All in all: Biscuit was back and I felt like crying.

How would I even explain this to Undertaker?!

Biscuit wasn't mine! I hadn't tamed it or anything!  
I couldn't take care of it!

I need to escape.

"ID escape!"

Unlike any other time I tried to escape from Biscuit's dungeon, this time the world around me shattered and broke.  
At least that meant I had improved enough to be able to escape from its dungeons.

I ran.

"Taker, Taker, Taker, Taker, Taker, Taker"

Once inside, Undertaker looked up from the body he was examining.  
"What is it~?"

"There's a dog outside."

The reaper stared at me with a blank face.  
"…I wasn't aware you were afraid of dogs~?"  
"I'm not! But this one thinks I'm its master or something stupid like that! Just because I gave it some food, but that was like... half a year ago! And the thing is following me!"  
Undertaker blinked, and after some seconds, he said: "it's just a dog, dear~. I'm sure you can deal with it~"

Nononono, you don't understand, Taker, this "dog" isn't "just a dog".  
It was a mother flipping Cerberus spawn!

"Takeeeeeeer..." Crying and clinging to his robes didn't seem to do anything to convince him that I wouldn't be able to "deal with it".

A bark.

The Gamer's mind was currently making me unable to panic to my heart's content.  
But to say I was worried would be the understatement of the century.

Something started scratching at the back door.  
Undertaker gently pushed me in the direction of said door.

"You are stronger than you think~, face your demons once in a while~."

No!  
He doesn't understand.  
This demon is a literal demon!

You are sending me to become a Dog-Demon's chew toy.

Even if I was higher leveled and stronger than the dog, I had a crippling weakness.

It was a dog. I couldn't attack dogs.  
They were precious creatures, they were a line I would never dare cross. Attacking a dog wasn't a crime I was willing to commit, ever.

This was a dilemma.  
How do I get rid of the dog without hurting it, and somehow get the information I needed on how it got here?

Easy.  
I can't.

From behind the door pitiful whining was heard.  
"Awww~ how cruel ~, are you going to stay here while that poor thing cries~?"

Please.  
As if he cares at all, about what happens to that dog. _I'm_ the one who cares about animals.  
And I cannot currently bring myself to care, because I know exactly which animal is outside.

"You don't understand, Taker, that thing is not a dog."  
Undertaker ignored my words completely, grabbing my cheeks any muttering about where had his cute, good little assistant gone.  
The scratching stopped, instead being replaced by insisting banging.

Undertaker finally let me go, and opened the door.

What entered the shop wasn't a dog.

It was a kid.

A kid, about half my size, black hair and shiny blue eyes.

And clad only in their birthday suit.  
Which meant that they were completely naked.

For a second, the only thing that could be heard in the shop was the kid's sniffing and a quiet, incredulous: "Biscuit?" from myself.  
The kid, the "May-be-Biscuit", whirled around to me, the only name I could give to their expression was 'elation'.

The kid… Biscuit tackled me in a mix of a hug, a pounce and a dog-kiss attack.  
Which involves lots of licking, spit and unintentional scratches. The possibly-Biscuit had sharp nails. And I mean sharp as in claw-sharp, not just long like Undertaker.  
"Argh! Get it off!"

Undertaker wasn't really helping, as his only reaction to my attack, after the initial blank expression was to start laughing. While crying.

Alright, let's calm down for a second...

If this was Biscuit, as I was led to believe... WHY IN THE NAME OF COOKIES HAD IT BECOME A HUMAN?! And why was it naked?!  
And more importantly! A human kid! I cannot hurt animals, I cannot hurt kids, basically I cannot hurt any form of sentient being without feeling like a monster.

And suddenly Biscuit qualified as all of the above.

"Why? How? Why me?"  
There is some kind of god out there that hates my guts. Of that, I am now sure.

"Woof!" Biscuit, of course, couldn't really talk like a human, even if it had just transformed into one.

Now that I think about it... didn't Biscuit's description say that Demon Hounds could transform into humans?  
I hadn't paid much attention to that part, I had been more worried about the spitting fire thing.

"Takeeeeer..." Come on taker, help me out a little...  
"How did you even manage to tame a demon hound~?"  
"I didn't! Kala did! My dog. I just gave it food! And suddenly this thing followed me here! I don't even know how!" The dog-kid started rubbing their face against mine, like a cat.

Biscuit, even if it had the body of a kid, still seemed to have certain... dog characteristics.  
Like a tail. A black fluffy tail, wagging from side to side with the strength of a whip.

Taker tried to approach us, just to get a very suspicious look from Biscuit, and a growl.  
"Hey! No growling to Undertaker!"  
Biscuit turned to me, all smiles and wagging tails, licking any part of my face it got close to.  
It was way more disturbing, because Biscuit now looked like a human. And let's not forget that they were naked, please.

Undertaker went to the kitchen, bringing a sausage with him. Hey, I was supposed to cook that later!

Apparently, that was enough to get Undertaker into Biscuit's good graces, as it finally released me, and tackled Undertaker.  
Or at least tried to, as the reaper refused to bulge. That didn't mean he didn't get a face full of demon-dog-turned-human spit.

"You deserve that."  
I got a giggle in response. It would seem that the reaper didn't particularly care he got his face full of saliva.

He must be a saint or something.

"How did it follow me here? I don't even know how I arrived here, much less how this..." I made a vague gesture to Biscuit. "... dog... managed to follow me."  
"That is a very interesting question, dear~."

Yeah, very interesting, but I have another, more important question.  
How do I get rid of it?

* * *

"Put your energy in the weapon."

"That is easier said than done."  
"Just do it, dear~"  
"Urgh."

' _Through an action you have gained a new skill [Power Srike].'_

"Huh, that wasn't too bad."  
"It's not~"  
"So... it's like...?"  
"A more powerful strike~".  
"Which costs mana?"  
"Apparently."  
"Huh... I don't have a lot of fighting skills, and even less that use mana, so this can be useful..."

Undertaker smirked.

Alright, alright I get it, it wasn't that bad.  
I was about to stick out my tongue, but got tackled by a dog-kid.

Urgh.  
It was still around here.

Undertaker shrugged his shoulders, he didn't seem very worried about the demon dog...  
Sigh, of course he wasn't, I was the one it liked to bother the most.

I awkwardly scratched Biscuit's head. They seemed to like it...

At least we had managed to get Biscuit into some clothes. It wasn't easy, as they didn't seem to like wearing anything... but I wasn't about to let it walk around naked, tackling and licking people was bad enough.

As Undertaker mentioned, Biscuit was apparently a puppy.  
I call a load of crap. I still remember that Biscuit was bigger than a horse.

I sat on the ground.

I had asked Undertaker to teach me the power strike, because I had next to none combat skills.

I had gotten a skill called [Parry], thanks to my training with Undertaker...  
But, of course, Parry was a defensive skill.  
I had improved my Throwing, as I think I would be best suited to long range combat... but Throwing was... yeah.

I had learned Undertaker was a mid-range melee fighter... although he could defend himself at close range with his stick-of-doom/sotoba well enough. Compared to lowly humans, he could use the stick like a pro.

That meant, if I wanted to properly support his fighting style, I would either need to become a healer or buffer with long range capabilities.

I couldn't become a full healer, as I wanted to. Because Undertaker was an ass and he sometimes went to do his things, instead of helping me out in the Dungeons.  
Of course, it was understandable that he had a life, unlike me. That didn't mean I had to like it.

If I became a pure healer, and didn't have a Damage dealer, I would become dead meat faster than I can get lost.  
Of course I had already started my way into a jack-of-all-Stats, and while that could mean more versatility, that could also mean that, unless I got my hands into some useful skills, I would become a mediocre fighter.

I had put quite a few points in Wisdom and Intelligence, in case I got a useful skill, but I also had decided to give preference to Dexterity above strength.

That still brought me back to a big problem.  
I had decent stats... more or less.  
I had decent weapons, thanks to my frying pan and Undertaker's sacrificial-stick-of-doom.

But my skills...  
Were quite useless.  
The vast majority weren't even combat skills. And the few combat skills I did have were [Mastery of Blunt Weapons], [Parry], [Throwing], a barely negligible [Mastery of cutting Weapons] I got from cutting vegetables, and the newly gained [Power Strike].

Out of all of those, only the last one was an active skill that I could use during combat.

While it was good to have a lot of passive skills, I also needed active skills.

I was having a game-character-building existential crisis.

At my level, I should have already specialized in something.  
Instead I was a... hybrid of useless and... running around like a headless chicken.

I could defeat monsters, and even bosses after an eternity and a strategy of 'hit and run', but I wasn't being efficient about it at all. And, in games, efficiency is almost as vital as versatility, sometimes even more.

Look at Undertaker for example.  
His level was stratospheric, but he was clearly a melee fighter, with minor skills that could cover his weaknesses in a pinch. He was well-balanced, but with a clear preference in Dexterity, to be able to get close or put distance between him and the enemy, depending on the situation. And the boost to his stats, like Str, thanks to the fact that was a Reaper wasn't hurting him at all.

And that is without taking into account whatever tricks he may be hiding. Which, knowing Undertaker, are quite a few.

Now look at me.

...

Yes, that's right. Nothing.

My Stats were mainly in Wisdom, but I didn't have any skill that could benefit from that, my weapon was close range, but my strength was laughable, and my only saving grace with vitality was that [Herculean] trait that gave me +20 Vit.  
I was a mess, let's just leave it at that.

I think that the only reason why I'm still alive is thanks to Undertaker, and my luck.  
Because, I had put a ton of points in luck, when I realized the disaster I had done with my Stats, and how it was probably the only reason why I was still breathing. Not that doing so helped me much with my messed up stats, it had been the panic of the moment, but I had survived.

It was curious. The more points in Intelligence and Wisdom, the more stupid I feel.

Just recently I realized that, instead of sleeping in the streets, I could have paid for a hotel room.  
I had enough money.

In fact I had a lot of money.

I still should save it for an emergency, but I didn't have to be as stingy as I had been before.

So... I feel like I was dropped on the head when I was little.  
And that's just the icing on the cake.

"What's wrong, dear~? You have such a long face~."  
"I feel like an idiot."  
Undertaker didn't say anything. But ended up smirking.  
I narrowed my eyes at him, but couldn't say anything, as he hugged me.  
"Awww~ does my poor little assistant feel stupid~?" I feel like I'm being patronized.  
He started poking my cheek, and I made a move to bite his fingers.

"Woof" Biscuit!  
Apparently, Biscuit wanted attention, too.  
"You see~, this one reminds me of you when meeting people~ hi hi hi~."  
I sent him a nasty glare. I look or act nothing like Biscuit.  
"Always following me around~, wanting attention~, hiding behind me~. Yes~ that does sound exactly like you~"

...

Alright maybe I did follow Undertaker around like a lost puppy.  
That did not mean I had to like Biscuit following ME around like a lost puppy.

I broke the Dungeon, walking back inside the shop.  
"I'm nothing like a dog... I'm not a dog."  
"Of course, dear~"  
That sounds a lot like "whatever you say". I sent him a look.

My only answer was a "hi hi hi~", but that was to be expected.

I had to start making our food, while I think of how to gain a healing or long-range magic skills.

Mhmm... Until now, the only true skill that had required me to use mana had been the Create/Escape ID, and now the power strike.  
All of them had in common one thing.  
I was supposed to "use" or "move" my mana in a certain way or expel it outside my body.

The power strike consists of "storing" mana in your weapon, releasing it when you attack.  
The Create ID, I had to "form" a bubble with my mana.  
In the Escape ID skill, I had to expel my mana violently to "break" the bubble already in place.

So technically, this "mana" or "magic" should be a malleable thing.  
Which meant that, even if I don't know what I'm doing, I should be able to create something if I just play around with it.

I could ask Undertaker to be my "test subject" to see if I can get a healing skill out of this.  
And a way for me to attack at long range.

I took out the roasted salmon, distributing it in three plates.

This was the first time we had someone else in the kitchen, and we were woefully unprepared.

Undertaker being the not-gentleman he was sat in his usual seat, leaving us to decide who would be left without a seat.  
The ass even had the gall to smirk and watch us expectantly.

Sighing, I guided Biscuit to the only chair left, making them sit, and serving their food.

Ignoring the snickers was easy by now, and just served myself. If the ass was going to laugh at my misfortune, he could very well serve himself.

Undertaker whined, but didn't stop giggling, he even mockingly offered his leg for me to sit on.  
I should take his offer, just to shut him up.  
Of course that would be a big, uncomfortable mess. He could even not care about it, and instead find amusement in my own uncomfortableness.  
In fact, I'm sure that's exactly what would have happened, had I taken his offer.

I was now proud to say, that I could recognize a trap when it slapped me in the face.

I looked at Biscuit.  
And promptly gaped.

I wasn't expecting a dog to have any sense of table manners, but...  
They were eating the salmon without using their hands at all, just shoving their face against the food and eating.

I was horrified.  
I don't know if Undertaker found amusement in Biscuit's eating manners, or my previously mentioned horrified face, but he laughed like a madman.  
He even fell out of his chair, rolling on the floor.

Ha! Like I was going to waste that chance!  
I sat on his chair.  
I moved Undertaker's food aside, eating my own, ignoring the complaints I was getting from Undertaker.  
He had made an impressive recovery when he noticed I stole his seat, I had to say. Just… not fast enough.

I smirked at him, saying nothing.  
"Oh~, you evil little Lia~."  
I felt evil alright.  
Like I just stole the cookie pot without anyone being able to prove anything.

Did evil people get this feeling, when their plans succeeded? Because if that was the case, I could completely understand why would they enjoy being bad so much.

...

I had to admit.  
This was an unlikely trio.

A Demon-dog eating food like a savage on a chair, a retired Grim Reaper, eating and whining on the floor by equal amounts, and then there's me.  
Little Lia, human, a coward and the user of an ability that shouldn't even exist in this time. Or any other, if we're being picky.

A strange group no matter how you look at it.

"Hey!" I smacked Undertaker's hand away from my food. "Eat your own!" I embraced protectively the food, keeping it away from Undertaker.  
He snickered and pointed at Biscuit.  
Who had just stolen my salmon.  
"Stop stealing my food!"  
"Hi hi hi~ if you don't hurry, the hungrier ones will take it for themselves~."

"The hungrier ones" my human ass.

I narrowed my eyes at both of them, protecting my remaining food from their grabby hands.

I was surrounded by thieves.  
Thieves I say, the lot of them.

Eating in record time, I was sure I was going to have stomachache later.

Digestion is for weaklings, I guess.

"Taker, mind being my test subject?"  
"Oh~? How could I ever deny your desire for knowledge, dear~? Of course~."

We went to the front shop, to sit on a coffin.  
Biscuit hot on our heels.  
I awkwardly smiled at the demon-dog.

I hope it doesn't get in the way.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and tried imagining how would magic move, if I wanted to use it to heal.

I imagined a thread, made of magic, mana or whatever that thing was supposed to be named, and tried manifesting it outside my palms.  
Slowly expelling the Magic, wrapping around Undertaker's hand...

' _Through an action you have created a new skill: [Magic Binding]'_

"Dear, my hands are tied~"  
Uh?  
"Ah! That... wasn't supposed to happen. Sorry! Let me..." Undertaker's hands were wrapped by a golden, shining... rope? Chain?  
I tried manually unwrapping the rope tying his hands together, but no matter what I did, the chain wasn't bulging.

"Uh..."  
"You don't know what you did, do you~?"  
Well... not exactly, no.  
"Give me a minute, I can look into the skill description, and see if I can get you out of there... Sorry..."  
"I'm not going anywhere~"

Well, yes. At least not with his hands like that. That was obvious.

' _[Magic Bindings]: Level 1_ _  
_ _This magic binds are virtually unbreakable. As long as the user has mana left, only they can dispel them, or by using a magic dispelling skill or device._ _  
_ _Magic cost: 20 Mp (create)_ _  
_ _Durability: Variable on user's Mp and struggle of prey.'_

Uh...  
"I have good news and bad news."  
Despite being in this position, Undertaker found it perfectly normal to smile like he just got the canary.  
"Eh... good news is that I can _technically_ disperse the chains... bad news are that I don't know how. Oh, and apparently they cannot be broken, as long as I have Mp left."

"Then why don't we see how long will your Mp last~?" He got a rather malicious look in his eye. I have a bad feeling about this...  
"Nonononono! I can figure it out just fine, just... give me a minute."  
Alright...

I tried visualizing the chains keeping Undertaker's hands together, and just... imagined it evaporating.

"Oh~? Well done little Lia~." Undertaker used his newly recovered hands to rub my hair.  
Awww, he just messed up my hair.

"Hey!" No matter my complaints, I didn't evade the hand, and ended up with a madwoman's hair.

I needed my brush...  
Speaking of it… It's not in my coffin or the bathroom, where I usually leave it.

I looked at Undertaker.

Sighing at, but not being fooled by his oblivious expression, I pounced him, looking inside his sleeves, cloak and even through his hair.

I found my brush. Of course.  
Undertaker didn't seem the least bit remorseful at being caught with my things, rather he smirked and made a gesture that could only be described as: "what can I do?"  
Not stealing would be nice, for starters.

Brushing my hair, Biscuit decided to investigate my brush... by sniffing it.

Alright, once I'm done I can try again to develop a healing skill. Or at least one that gives positive effects.

This binding magic wasn't bad. It could be quite useful. At least more than normal rope tying. Or… it could end up being as useless as the rope tying skill.

Now that I think about it... maybe Undertaker doesn't want to keep being my guinea pig, after that fiasco.  
I looked at Undertaker.  
He looked back, tilting his head to the side like a confused dog.

And he started swinging his mane from side to side, smirking.  
No, I don't think he minds.

And even if he doesn't want to, I can tie him up and use him as a practice dummy.

Because I know exactly what he's doing.  
He's purposefully messing up his hair, so I have an aneurism and start brushing it.

I did exactly that.  
Sigh.

He really has such precious hair... I don't understand how he can have such long, beautifully pale hair when he barely pays any attention to it.  
If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't even brush it!

There's people who don't understand how lucky they are.

"I love your hair... you're so lucky..." I fawned over his hair. Not only was it long, but it was also white, without being albino or an old man, and when it was tangle-free it flowed like water out of a fountain.  
With the fountain... being... his head...

I suck at comparisons.

Biscuit whined, trying to get my attention.  
"Biscuit behave, please..."

Undertaker suddenly blinked, turning around.  
"Its name... is Biscuit?" His expression was... blank.  
His tone of voice on the other hand… It wasn't blank… but I didn't know how to identify it.  
So I nodded.

...

A snort.

He seemed to honestly be trying to control himself. For that I was grateful.  
Sadly he gave up rather quickly. But that wasn't surprising.  
He laughed, cackling madly, crying rivers.  
He even started rolling on the floor.  
Tsk.  
And I had just finished brushing his hair, now it will be all tangled once again.

With Biscuit looking confusedly at Undertaker, while still trying to get my attention, I realized that this was a madhouse. We should change the sign outside. 'Asylum' would be a better description.

I tried to ignore both Biscuit and Undertaker, while still trying to use the later as a practice dummy.

I closed my eyes again.  
Alright, visualization had worked before. Not in the way I had wanted to, but in hindsight I guess that visualizing a thread of magic wrapping around Undertaker, would tie him up, rather than heal him.  
Instead, this time I tried imagining the magic as an aura, rather than a physical thing.  
I slowly brought that aura over Undertaker's skin.

...

...

Well. Now what?

This was...

"I'm sorry."  
"hi hi hi~ What for, dear~?"

He didn't have any wound for me to heal, so I couldn't heal him. Simple as that.  
And it took me so long to realize that.  
I really am a bit of an idiot, aren't I?  
"I don't know what to do, from here. It's not like you have any wounds that would need healing, so I can't exactly use it like that..."  
"Oh~? So that was what you were trying to do? That has a simple solution, dear~."  
I widened my eyes, throwing myself against him.  
"Don't do anything reckless!"  
He blinked. "I wasn't going to, dear~. We have plenty of bodies downstairs that wouldn't mind being your test subject~. But it is nice to see that you care so much~." He placed both of his hands over my cheeks, his face getting closer, so close that our nose almost touched, gentle half closed green eyes shining... mischievously...

And then he squeezed.  
Ack!

My poor cheeks! Abuse! This is abuse!  
I tried pulling away, but acomplished nothing besides making my cheeks sore.

"Cfhan Ihf..." I took both of Undertaker's hands in mine, trying to pull them away, so I could talk properly. "Can I at least try one more thing?"  
I wanted to see if I could use the magic as a boost. In anything. If I could create a skill to enhance my stats or reduce my enemies', that would prove quite useful.

"As you wish~." He didn't let me go, though.

I closed my eyes again. Ignoring the hands still on my cheeks.  
I imagined the aura, seeping out of my hands, settling over Undertaker's.  
I tried imagining that the aura would give a boost to strength, but it was harder than I expected. How does one go imagining a desired effect?  
I imagined that the aura would seep into his hands, making them stronger, hardening muscle, bone and tissue.

The anatomy book was proving useful now.  
I had to find more books.

' _Through an action you have created a skill [Strength of a thousand gods]'_

"That tickles~" Opening my eyes, I was greeted by a smirking Undertaker.  
"Do you feel anything?"  
"Maybe~"  
"If you don't tell me I can't know."  
Well, I knew I had created a skill with a sappy name, but I didn't know if it was supposed to Increase his strength, or reduce it by petrifying him.  
By the name and what I had been trying to do, I would bet it was an enhancement skill, probably strength.

' _[Strength of a thousand gods]: Level 1_ _  
_ _Uses Mp to increase an ally's Strength and Vitality._ _  
_ _+15 Strength +10 Vitality._ _  
_ _Cost: 40 Mp'_

Oh? It seems like it also enhances Vitality. That's good.  
I felt a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth.  
Lately I had been doing that a lot. Smiling.

It felt... strange. But not bad.

Biscuit kept whining. It was almost like Kala, they didn't like being ignored.  
Unlike Kala, Biscuit decided that the best way to get my attention was to jump and lick at my face.

Disgusting. Utterly disgusting.

At least they managed to get Undertaker away from my cheeks, as he had jumped away to avoid the attack.  
Even in human form, Biscuit still acted as a dog, wagging its tail energetically from side to side.

I sighed.  
I looked at Undertaker, he was snickering and not even trying to hide it.  
I pointed at the snickering reaper.  
"At him, Biscuit. Give your salivating love to him."  
Biscuit turned to Undertaker.  
Undertaker stiffened.

...

And Biscuit completely ignored him, instead deciding that I was in serious need of a bath.  
After this I will definitely be.

Laughing, now that the danger was over, Undertaker rolled across the shop, further tangling the hair I had so painstakingly brushed.

Well, he might just get another round. We will see if he likes it then.

Putting a foot on his stomach, when he rolled too close, I gave him a smile.  
And not one of the good smiles. It was the smile that promised suffering and death.

Not even ten minutes later I was brushing Undertaker's mane once again, the reaper tamely staying still, like a good boy.  
With Biscuit being a nuisance.  
It was hard to brush someone's hair, when you have a dog-child getting in the middle, trying to grab your attention.

"Biscuit, not now, you'll get your turn later." Of that I would make sure.  
Biscuit's hair looks like it had never known what a brush is.

Biscuit whined, but gave me some room, looking dejectedly at Undertaker.  
Undertaker, always the mature adult, stuck out his tongue at the dog.  
"Don't antagonize them." I didn't add an 'or else', but I'm sure I could think of something as punishment.

As I brushed Undertaker's hair I realized I had called Biscuit a 'them', just now. Well, they looked so human...

It didn't feel right to call them 'he/she' either… Biscuit had a rather androgynous face, but seeing as they were naked when they transformed into a human… well, let's say that I don't have to guess as to what lies between their legs.  
Still, I would continue to refer to Biscuit as they or them. It was the less uncomfortable option.

Finally deciding that I had returned some semblance of order to Undertaker's hair I turned to Biscuit.

And promptly freaked out.

Let's just make sure that we are all getting our facts right.

Biscuit is a dog.  
Biscuit is a _black_ dog with blue eyes.  
Biscuit can turn into a kid.  
Biscuit can turn into a kid with _black_ hair and blue eyes.

Everything fine there? Good.

Now can someone explain why did Biscuit's hair suddenly turn white?!  
"Taker..."  
Biscuit looked quite excited. But... they had white hair. Why?

Undertaker seemed as confused as I felt, but after some time he started laughing.  
"I think it was jealous of how much you liked my hair~ and tried to make its hair look like mine~ he he he~"

That explains absolutely nothing!  
Oh. Demons.  
You know what? This is something else I'm not questioning.

I made a sign for Biscuit to come closer.  
It's tail was still black, but the hair of their head and even eyebrows had become a silvery-white color.  
"You also had a cute hair Biscuit... you didn't need to change it..." Biscuit didn't seem to understand what I was saying, but their tail was at maximum power, so I guess they appreciated the compliment.  
It didn't change their hair back, though.

Sigh.

Why was I surrounded by such strange beings?

* * *

"Make some noise when you walk, dear~. You almost gave me a heart attack~."  
"Sorry, 'Taker."  
It's one of the things that came with having such a high Stealth skill, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

The shop was closed, and we were preparing to go to sleep in a bit.

In the end I managed to get a healing skill, but I still had to try it with someone who was… well, alive.  
I can ask Undertaker to be my practice dummy, tomorrow. Or Biscuit.

I'm not sure where Biscuit is, though...  
I hope they are not causing trouble. I'm sure I saw them sniffing at Hercules not that long ago...

A thud.  
It came from the door that led to the backyard.

Well, I can bet almost anything as to who that was.

A whine and scratching followed the thud.

Definitely Biscuit.

I opened the door...  
... and promptly closed it before Biscuit could sneak through.

"Taker! I need... assistance."  
"Oh~? My little assistant needs some assistance~? How curious~ hi hi hi~."  
Yeah, well...

I slowly opened the door, so he could look at what lied behind it.  
"Well... this is quite the situation..."

Biscuit started whining, not understanding why it wasn't being granted access.

The reason was simple.

Biscuit, still with white hair, had rolled in a pile of mud, dung and maybe a carcass if the smell was anything to go by.

"Biscuit, you need a bath."

Problem: we couldn't let Biscuit in, or it would leave everything in its path absolutely filthy.  
But we couldn't pick Biscuit up to bring them to the bathroom upstairs... for the obvious reasons.

...

Either someone gets dirty, or the house gets dirty.

"We can leave it outside for today~ we can worry about this tomorrow~" As tempting as that was I don't feel good leaving a poor dog-child to sleep outside.  
"That's just cruel… and it's not like they will have cleaned up tomorrow. They might even become filthier through the night."  
"If it rains~..."  
"Uh..." Well, that is a good point. "But how long until it rains? What if they get inside before it does, and leaves everything a muddy mess?"  
"Then~..."  
Biscuit started crying and whining, interrupting our discussion. Apparently they didn't like our conversation.

Sighing I finally decided. "I will clean everything they touch, after I clean Biscuit up."  
"I will help~"  
"Thanks." I smiled at the man by my side. That was nice of him.

Finally opening the door, I grabbed Biscuit by the collar of its borrowed shirt before it could escape, and half dragged it upstairs.  
Biscuit didn't seem against following me, but I didn't want them getting too close.

Undertaker prepared the water while I carefully removed Biscuit's clothes. Those clothes will go straight to the trash can. I won't even bother washing them.  
Too filthy. And goodness gracious, the smell…

I looked at Undertaker, the water was ready.  
I beckoned Biscuit to get inside.  
After an inspection they did.  
Jumped right in, in fact.  
Splashing Undertaker and me both.

...

I feel like drowning that dog.

Undertaker took over, while I convinced myself that I would regret it later, if I harmed the dog. Joining only when I was sure I wasn't about to do something drastic.

Biscuit seemed a bit confused about why did it have four hands scrubbing and washing every bit of skin and hair, but seemed to take it with calm, and even seemed to enjoy the attention.

Except when it decided that it was enough, and started trying to get out.  
Sadly, neither of us had deemed Biscuit as 'clean enough', it still had soap everywhere, and I wasn't done with their hair yet. No matter how much I tried to wash whatever made their hair white, it was stubborn and didn't change back to black, not even a little.

The rest of the bathing session was spent with one of us preventing Biscuit from fleeing, while the other washed, changing places from time to time.

Undertaker had deemed Biscuit as 'clean' long before I was satisfied, but by the end of it, Biscuit was clean as... something very clean... Soap?  
Sigh... I was terrible at comparisons.

Sadly, I had to give up on Biscuit's hair, whatever they did, it seemed permanent.

"Well, we're done."  
Undertaker snickered. "I don't think they will go around getting this dirty ever again~."

Biscuit jumped out of the filthy brown water, splashing everywhere again. It didn't matter, we were both wet already from the first splash and from bathing Biscuit.

Before it could make a run for it, I trapped Biscuit with a towel. It seemed very happy.  
It could be because the hold I had Biscuit in was almost an embrace.

Drying the dog-child wasn't easy either. They tried running in circles, dodging the towel and barely staying still.

Undertaker was barring the escape from the door, so at least we wouldn't have to worry about water all over the house.  
He wasn't doing anything besides laughing and keeping Biscuit from escaping, though.

I picked up the now clean and relatively dry Biscuit, wrapping them inside the towel, surprisingly, they weren't that heavy.

Undertaker opened the door, and I brought Biscuit outside the bathroom and to Undertaker's bedroom.

Sitting them on the bed I looked for something that would fit a kid.  
There wasn't much that Biscuit could wear, Undertaker didn't have any kid's sleeping clothes.  
Undertaker did have clothes for kids, as he sometimes had to dress them for their funeral. Like the clothes Biscuit was wearing before they got them all dirty.

But none of the clothes were fit to go to sleep...  
Undertaker took out his robe, and covered Biscuit with it. Biscuit sniffed the clothes they were now wearing.  
I guess that would have to do for tonight.

Now... another problem.  
Sleeping arrangements.

Usually I tried to sleep on my coffin downstairs, while Undertaker slept here, on his bed. Then one of us would give up on trying to sleep alone and go to the other's sleeping place.  
Usually I was the first to cave in, but it wasn't strange for Undertaker to enter my coffin to sleep by my side.  
It just was less common than me jumping on his bed, and even on him if I was feeling scared.

Where would Biscuit sleep?  
Maybe in another coffin? But, they didn't seem to like being alone, or staying still, if all the whining and the bathroom experience were anything to go by.

One of us had to sleep with or near Biscuit, even if we didn't like it.

That meant that we BOTH had to sleep with Biscuit, or leave Biscuit behind, and I doubt they will appreciate that.

...

Maybe we can make them sleep on the floor. Or the foot of the bed.  
They are a dog, after all.

But they looked like a child... I couldn't let a child sleep on the floor.

I heard a ruffle behind me, but ignored it.

Urgh... where would they sleep? Maybe we can get them a dog bed...

...

I don't think that will work...

A pair of arms, hugging me from behind, almost gave me a heart attack.  
"What are you thinking about~?" Undertaker, please don't do that... my poor heart...  
"You startled me..."  
"Hi hi hi~"  
"Not funny..." I deadpaned.  
"Get dressed, dear~ or will you sleep in wet clothes~?"  
No, but...  
He smirked.

Alright, I will think of the sleeping arrangements later.

Now that I noticed, he was already in his own sleeping clothes. Consisting of a princess pink colored pajamas I made of Tom the tomcat. He said it was comfy and warm. I liked that he seemed to like my gifts, it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside, but… when had he changed? I hadn't left the bedroom… I don't want to know. Better not to think about it.

Getting out, I cleaned what Biscuit managed to touch and the bathroom while I was at it.

Once I made sure my clothes would be clean and dry by morning, I entered the bedroom again, this time in my sheep pajamas.

Did I already say I like cute sheep? I do.

Both Undertaker and Biscuit were in bed already, apparently fighting over who got to keep the blanket.

Oh. I guess this was fine, too.

We could all sleep together from the start.

I had to admit, there was something awkward about it all. It wasn't the first time we slept next to each other, but it was the first time we had gone to bed together. There was something... intimate to that, and I wasn't sure I wanted to go through with this. My stomach was doing uncomfortable backflips.  
I could wait until they fall asleep.

Undertaker patted the spot right between Biscuit and himself.  
A Dalia-shaped spot.

I think my heart melted a little inside. How can I refuse that?  
Crawling towards the place I would be sleeping in, I plopped down, almost being immediately pounced on by Biscuit. Undertaker simply wrapped his cold arms around me, using me as a heater.

Biscuit hugged my stomach, burrowing their nose against my chest.

...

...

This...

...felt nice.

...

Almost family.


	15. Chapter 14

**Hi dear readers! I know you have been craving plot advancement in the secrecy of your mind, so here it is! Enjoy!**

 **Mayfire21: Thanks for your review! I really love every single review I get. You're all so nice!**

 **Guadadominguez4: xD haha It's planned, but I won't make spoilers. I adore Biscuit and had to get them back. I literally had to or else things in this chapter would have gone... very wrong. Secret!**

 **Steph557: I KNOOW! XD I also want those two to meet! But we have to wait to get to cannon! I will definetely include the Phantomhive manor burning. I feel like it deeply affected Undertaker, if we go by his reaction when he sees the photo of Vincent in The Green Witch arc of the manga.  
I'm definetely looking forward to the Black Butler arc. **

**jj510: Don't worry! I love when reviewers especulate on what will happen. I tend to laugh evilly while reading reviews, so don't worry about that. I mainly laughed at your bait, and knew it was one. I absolutely adored it! So don't worry. I never decided on a pronoun for Biscuit and it just felt... right. Biscuit is Biscuit and it's alright.**

 **ciel. bean: Our Ciel is just so adorable that it's impossible resist.**

 **Silverwolf-fox: They are the cutest x3. You are absolutely correct! The game knows that reapers have bad eyesight, now isn't that interesting~?**

 **QueenofPenguania: I adore writing cute things about the two of them, they are just too cute and fun. RESIST!**

 **Tsuki: You're welcome!**

 **mer: I love how the both of them interact too, there's just something so cute about it all! I definitely will continue writing. I literally cannot stop! I tried, but I woke up in the middle of the night needing to write the next chap. As for the rest, I'm afraid that would go into spoiler territory, so just a little more patience!**

 **redorlem1: Biscuit its the cutest! After Dalia... and our Ciel... and... NO MATTER THEY'RE CUTE! ~cookies~!**

 **Queen Mo-Freakin: OMG! I love your review I couldn't stop laughing! That would be hilarious! I'm afraid that Biscuit and Pluto aren't the same demon hound, sadly. Biscuit only changed their hair color in human form, their eyes are still blue and when in their real form, they still have black fur. Mhmm...**

 **Vick3668: Thanks! It makes me very happy when people like my fic! And don't worry about the translation, it makes me very happy that you took the time to try to make it into english. Thanks!**

 **sssssslytherinbedwithme: Thanks! Don't worry, as proven by this chapter, it's far from over.**

 **Woah, that was a long autor's note. Not sorry, though! I love answering your reviews.**

 **Disclaimer: I know it's a tragedy, but I don't own Black Butler. Let's all cry together.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

' **Minor Quest Complete! [Collecting Materials]**

 **Quest Rewards:  
** **-500 exp points  
** **-200£  
** **-Increased Respect with Undertaker.'**

"Oh~, well done, little Lia~." For my troubles I also got a pat on the head.

Biscuit jumped around, also trying to get a pat.  
"Oh~? Did you also help~? Did you, little Cookie~?"

"For starters it's Biscuit and, no matter what you say, I didn't name them." Undertaker was doing this to get a rise out of me, as the dog couldn't understand what he said. Sadly it worked every time.

"Hi hi hi~" Of course he would laugh, ass.

"Here you have your trash." I dumped everything on him.

"Awww~, so mean~."

Gathering objects had become easier as I increased my luck. Before, I would be lucky if one of the sisters dropped some money. Now, almost every monster dropped something, be it money, an eyeball or their heart.

...Sadly, it usually was in a literal sense.

Recently they even started dropping some vials filled with a red liquid.

I was more than sure they were healing potions, but I would rather make sure first. So the potions were now in possession of Undertaker, who was doing… something… to make sure they were actually beneficial. Maybe Underworld contacts. Maybe funky experimentation.  
No one knows what goes on inside that shady basement of his.

There had been another murder surrounded by flowers. It had taken some months, but Undertaker had been right.

Apparently everyone had all but forgotten about the first murder. Undertaker didn't say exactly what had Scotland Yard decided with the first murder, but from the bad impression they left on me, they could have deemed it a theft gone wrong and I wouldn't be surprised.

Biscuit tried to jump between the two of us, looking at the pile of objects on Undertaker's lap, and rummaging through it until it found a bone.

It was... jarring to see a kid munch on a bone... I know Biscuit was more of a dog than a child, but... it was strange. And disturbing.

"I'm not taking that back, you try if you want it so bad." I would rather not touch that more than I already had. Besides...

Undertaker extended an arm towards the bone in Biscuit's grasp, just to get growled at.

...Biscuit liked their bones very much.

"On second thought, I think I have enough of those~." Aha… don't think I'm fooled by that.

I sat on my coffin and, ignoring whatever Undertaker and Biscuit had going on, I began thinking.

There had to be a way for me to go back.

As much as I like it here, it wouldn't be fair to Kim, if I forgot about her and gave up, and while Undertaker had been nice to me, I couldn't keep mooching off of him for the rest of my life.

That didn't mean I wasn't happy here, because I was. Undertaker had made me laugh more in the time I had known him than all of my life put together.  
I just... I was reluctant to believe everything would keep being roses and peaches forever.

One day... something will happen, like it happened with Kaito, like it happened with Kim and Kala... then I will be alone again.

I will lose everything again.

Life had given me enough hell for me to know that good things never last.

Sigh...

But how could I get back if I couldn't get another major Quest? What did I have to do?  
Normally, one would find a major quest the very moment they stepped out of the tutorial, or at the very least, in the way that the player naturally is inclined to take.

Which meant that at some point I had completely bypassed the 'correct path'. In a very face-palming way.  
This wasn't surprising, I got lost as easily as breathing. Even in games, it wasn't unusual for me to get completely lost, even when the game _didn't physically allow_ for you to get lost.  
I once got lost in a corridor. I somehow came back the way I entered. To this day, I still am unsure _how_.

That didn't make it any less frustrating.

Maybe I should retrace my steps. Let's see... before finding Undertaker's shop... I was lost, great help, Uh... found the London bridge... a cathedral... a lot of turnarounds, got more lost... I think I was near a park? And... Uh... I don't know... I think I got more lost.

And the railway. Where I appeared.

I sighed.

This wasn't helping any.

Let's see... maybe there's another way one usually gets a Major Quest? How did I get the first one…?

By actually acknowledging that I had an ability that gave me Quests, maybe? Somehow like that? It was when I opened the menu.  
Then... maybe I had to acknowledge... what? That I needed to go home? Because I knew that, I had that part down a 300% integrated in my mind.

Acknowledging what? I don't understand, what does the game want from me?!

I don't understand anything!

Why doesn't anything make sense?

A hand went over my shoulders. I startled, whipping my head to look at the owner of the hand.

Undertaker.

Oh... hey. Here I am, looking for ways to go back home and leave you behind like the filthy, coward, horrible person I am. Why in the name of cookies do I feel guilty?

He didn't say anything, just tapped the side of his head with one of his long, _long_ nails.

I think too much. Yes I know.

Thinking about it for a minute, I ended up resting my head against his shoulder.

Two heads think better than one, right?

I mean, I doubt he will feel betrayed if I tell him I'm looking for ways to go home.

It's not like... I owe him anything or… I don't know... we are just strangers living together... we're not...

I sighed.

I don't even know...

I closed my eyes.

Why is everything so hard?

Why is all so difficult to understand?

What was I doing wrong?

I don't even know what to do...

And I'm afraid...

I don't usually share my problems... so it was incredibly hard to ask undertaker for help.

But… Damn, if I took any longer, I will have stayed a whole year here before asking for help.

It wasn't winter quite yet, so _technically_ I hadn't been here for a whole year here. Yet being the keyword.  
I had to ask for help. At least a little of insight.

Undertaker was smart. Way smarter than I was.

I'm sure he could give some kind of input that could be useful, even If he didn't know how video-games worked.

I tried to explain the situation to the best of my ability, which wasn't much.

Sadly I managed to convey what I _didn't_ want him to realize, while still managing to keep vague my need of a second mind to think things through.

"I can understand the desire to get back someone you have lost~. You don't need to feel guilty, dear~."

Great, I didn't want him to pick that up.

"Can you... help me...?" Forcing out the words was harder than expected, but I did it. Somehow. Even if it sounded like someone had literally pulled the words out of me like they were pulling teeth.

"I don't know how will I be of assistance, dear~. But seeing as this is the first time you have actively asked for help in a personal matter, I will try my best, dear~." He was deliberately stressing out the 'dear', and I felt like I somehow sold my soul to the devil.

I gave explaining my reasoning another shot. "I just need another head, someone who's not so... caught up in this, that can give some... outside opinion. You see, normally, in videogames, it's almost impossible to avoid a main quest, it's so blatantly obvious that it can perfectly be a man pointing at a tower and telling you, a perfect stranger, to go and defeat the dragon guarding it to save the princess.  
So I got here, and should have been assaulted by a Main quest, but somehow managed to avoid it. The thing is, I'm pretty sure I need to complete a Main Quest to go back, but I don't know where exactly did I go wrong to avoid the quest!"

Undertaker started blankly for a while. His expression betrayed nothing.

"I got nothing out of that." He smiled completely unremorsefully.

I sighed. I am horrible at this.

"I should have gotten a special Quest. I didn't. I don't know why. It usually appears the moment you step out of the tutorial." Sometimes even before.

"And where did you 'step out of the tutorial'~?"

"Railway"

"Have you looked there~?"

Silence.

...

Well...

I feel stupid.

All the points I put into Intelligence? Wasted.

Because, right now, I'm sure I'm physically incapable of being smart even once.

"You didn't, did you~?"

Silence.

Alright, in that moment, I didn't think of looking around the railway, because I was very confused and stressed, so I should be given some leeway. Not realizing afterwards, that the main quest was there was completely my fault, though.

"Now, how about my payment~?"

"You didn't ask for payment..."

"I always ask for payment, my dear~"

"Right now you didn't."

"I just want you to follow me along in a certain adventure~..."  
Adventure? Thy name is not Dalia.

I'm not an adventurous person.  
I'm the least adventurous person of my own world! Maybe even of this one!

I stared at him.

"I will be there~ I will just need you to look at a couple of things~."

Thinking about it thoroughly… I... guess it's not that bad...? Maybe? It's probably a disaster waiting to happen, but I can give it a shot.

"Only if you bring me to... the west... railroad... of greatness? Something like that... I don't want to get lost."

"Of course, my dear~." He seemed to want to add something, but didn't. I probably wouldn't have liked it anyway.  
Although, I did heard him snicker, muttering "railroad of greatness" between chuckles.

I looked around, ignoring the mortician.

Where had Biscuit gone?

That dog hardly ever missed a chance like this to meddle, and stick its muzzle all over my face.

The door to the backyard was slightly ajar.

I would bet money as to where Biscuit was.

I escaped from Undertaker's grasp and peeked at our backyard. I immediately deadpanned.

Well… this is… something.

"You won't believe this." Undertaker joined me, immediately devolving onto a fit of laughs and giggles, clutching at his stomach.

In our backyard were, as usual, Hercules, absentmindedly munching on some grass, as expected, Biscuit, growling like someone just insulted their ancestors, and Mr. Dimwit, the target of the previously mentioned growls, who seemed equally offended by Biscuit's very existence.

I don't even want to know what was going on here.

When Mr. Dimwit started threateningly waving a pair of scissors around, I decided I had enough.

Taking out my frying pan, I went into the backyard, walking towards Mr. Dimwit, eyes narrowed and mouth set into a firm line.

He didn't hear me coming.

Swinging the frying pan against his head, he collapsed like a house of cards, crumpling against the ground.  
Worried for half a second, I made sure I hadn't killed him.

I didn't.

I took out 1/10 of his Hp, but he was alive at least. Just unconscious.  
I hadn't meant to hurt him too badly, anyways. I just didn't want him threatening Biscuit.

What kind of psycho hurts a poor animal? A very cruel one, Mr. Dimwit just plummeted near the bottom of my 'good people' list.

I had a lot of lists, now that I think about it.  
And I can't remember half of them.

Until now, I had been very neutral towards Mr. Dimwit, staying out of his way, while he ignored my presence.

That changes the moment the ones I care about are threatened. He's in trouble now.  
If I see his face around here I might smash it.

Who does he think he is? Threatening kids, or… well, dogs. That's irrelevant, they are both untouchable, in my eyes. Poor Biscuit.

"Are you alright, Biscuit?" A happy bark and tail wagging was my answer. At least they didn't seem injured or anything, in fact I could be wrong, but I think I recognize a silver of adoration in the demon-dog-kid's eyes.

Either that, or the sparkles of my own adoration are blinding me, I blame Biscuit's cuteness. So cute.

I wasn't one to use brute force very often, and I didn't consider myself as easily angered. But I just couldn't stand people hurting animals, much less animals that I knew.  
I had to give it to him, Mr. Dimwit hadn't really done anything to Biscuit, and so, I wasn't really angry. Just annoyed. Quite annoyed. Very annoyed. I'm-gonna-shave-you-bald type of annoyed.

I can somewhat understand someone wanting to scare off a dog by threatening them, as not everyone liked dogs, but the moment the scissors came into play, all my leniency evaporated.

I gave him the most murderous glare I could muster, even if he was already unconscious and couldn't truly appreciate it.

' _Intimidation Increased by one'_

I guided Biscuit inside and away from stupid reapers, and was met with a reaper that, while not stupid, he knew how to act like he was.

"Undertaker... what do you think you're doing...?"

"I was just enjoying the show, dear~... want some~?" He offered one of the cookies he had been eating while watching through the window.  
The window had drool on it, and I knew exactly why. That didn't make it any less disgusting.

Sighing I took the offered cookie. I wasn't about to reject free cookies.

* * *

"Are those yours?"

A deeply offended "Who do you take me for~?" was my only answer.

I looked at him. For a creep? Wait, was that a rhetorical question? Uh…

"Do you want me to answer to that, or...?"

The object that brought this conversation to be, were a pair of bloomers, which must have flown off of some neighbors' laundry, most likely because of the wind.

I doubted that they were Undertaker's but... one never knows.

"I do not mind if you have a..." 'Fetish' was too strong of a word, wasn't it? "... _Thing_ for those. You don't have to be ashamed of it."

Undertaker blinked, still smiling wide. "Those are not mine."

"I'm just saying..."

"I don't use bloomers, little Lia~ hi hi." That's not very convincing.

"Alright, alright... just making sure..." I wasn't convinced, not at all.

"Really! They're not!" At this, he started to comically wave his arms around, mouth open wide.

"Alright... alright..."

"Stop sounding so unconvinced! They are not mine!" He put his arms on my shoulders, shaking me back and forth.

I put up my hands in defeat.

He seemed to have gotten genuinely worked up by the accusation. He seemed to desperately want to prove the bloomers weren't his. It was really funny. The mortician wasn't usually the one to get worked up, generally, our roles were reversed.

I smiled.

"Let's go." I put the bloomers in my inventory. They were probably a neighbor's, I would return them later.

Not right now, as we were just leaving for the railway.

I didn't know what to expect. I was torn between dread and anticipation. My hands instinctively searched for Tofu's head to calm me down.

I felt slightly calmer, but I still gripped Undertaker's sleeve in an attempt to settle my nerves.

"The railroad is almost at the other end of London~. This will take a while~, unless you want to go with Hercules~?"

Uh... I didn't want to bother Hercules, he deserved a little rest, especially after these last few days, in which Undertaker had needed to bring some coffins to a place a little farther away than usual. It must be tired, poor thing.

I shook my head.

"We can also use the underground~ there are more methods of transportation than walking~"

"Walking is good for the legs. And I don't trust all of those... 'methods of transportation' you speak of. Do you know how many guests we receive from carriage accidents?"

Undertaker tried to open his mouth, probably to say that he knew _exactly_ how many we received, but I wanted to hear none of that.

He was sending me a look that I'm pretty sure meant: "You don't know what you're asking."

"I can also carry you~"

"Yeah, sure."

...

Alright I walked into that one all by myself. Undertaker's eyes shined creepily, mischievous.

I had actually meant to sarcastically convey that I wasn't interested, not to insult his ability to carry me around.

Sadly he probably took it as a challenge, or even perhaps even took it literally, as he took me in his arms and started going at a speed that would make a cheetah faint.

I only had time to create an empty dungeon before we started running across London. And taking his hat before it flew off.

"I have to say, little Lia~, this dungeon is quite useful to move around unnoticed~ hi hi~ you wouldn't happen to have been using it to sneak cookies in the middle of the night, were you~?"

"Of course not!" Please! As if I would do something as underhanded as that. The cookies I stole with my own Stealth skill! I don't need any dungeon to sneak around.  
For that, he got a tug to his hair.

As we were speeding through London, there wasn't much to do, while being carried.

I looked at the side of his face, the only thing I could look at besides the blurry streets of London passing us by in a flash.

It was strange.

I looked at his ear piercings. They were far more common in my time than here, and they made me incredibly nostalgic.

Undertaker was the personification of 'nostalgia' sucker punching me in the gut every single day.

Even so...

I was happy that I didn't end up running away the moment I found myself in his shop. It was a very normal reaction, when it came to me.

I don't think I would have survived for much longer without help.

Undertaker... was really my savior.

He turned his head to me. "Something the matter~?"

"Keep your eyes on the road! What if we crash?!"

"I don't really use my eyes dear~. He he he~"

I tilted my head. "Why?"

"I can't see very well~."

Uh... neither can I. And I didn't use glasses either, so I couldn't exactly ask why he didn't use them.

I leaned my face against his shoulder, hiding my lower face. My eyes were looking at, but not really seeing, the road we just left behind.

Silence.

"Thank you..."

"What for, dear~?"

"Everything."

He was silent for some time.

"No. Thank _you_ , for making my life a little brighter."

...

I completely buried my face against his shoulder, trying to hide my blush. I wasn't used to compliments.

I felt slightly guilty. He said I made his life a little brighter, but I was most likely just a chore for him. Even so... I felt even guiltier for leaving.

I felt bad for wanting to leave, I felt bad for wanting to stay. What should I do?

What would happen when we found the Quest? Would it be easy to accomplish? If it was... does that mean I won't see Biscuit again? Would I be able to say goodbye to everyone? Or would what happened with Kim repeat itself?

I still don't know how Biscuit arrived here. And they can't exactly talk to me about it. But, maybe they could follow me again...?  
But then... I couldn't ask Undertaker to leave his life here behind, to follow me. So I would still lose him...

I felt something cold settle on the top of my head, and for some seconds I thought it was one of Undertaker's hands.

Except that his hands were full carrying me.

I looked up. Finding myself face to face with Undertaker.  
He was close, very close. If he got any closer our noses would touch.  
Maybe he got this close because he couldn't see very well?

He smirked. Placing another kiss on my forehead.

I blinked.

Eh?

"So cute~ I could eat you up~."

Eh?!

I shrieked "Don't eat me!" Smirking, Undertaker tried to get his mouth near my head again, I don't know if to kiss, nibble or bite me, but I would rather not find out.

I started trashing, trying to get his face away from my own. I put a hand on his chest, pushing him as far away as I could.  
He immediately stopped, jolting, and tried to maneuver me around so he could grab the hand I had on his chest. A startled laugh escaped him.

 _'A new skill has been created through an action, [Tickling].'_

...

Silence.

I was aware that my eyes glinted maliciously, when I said: "Are you _ticklish_ ~?"

The next few moments were spent with me enacting revenge for... everything. By tickling Undertaker.  
It was a dangerous thing, to tickle Undertaker, as proved when I had to dodge a desperate attack at my head.

' _By improving your reflexes, you have gained +1 Dex.'_

He finally settled with shoving both his hands against my face, trying to keep me away.  
Our roles had reversed.

' _[Tickling] has increased by one'_

"St- stop... he he he! Stop! Lit- little Liaaaa! Ha ha ha!"

I was considering letting him off easy this time. After all, I just gained a huge advantage over him. Although... he did make my life as hard as possible, so maybe I would keep tickling until I leveled up once again.

I was enjoying this far more than I should.

' _[Tickling] has increased by one'_

I stopped tickling, letting him breathe.

"That's what you get when you're a creep."

"Hehe~ Aww little Lia~ he he... don't be so mean to me~. He he he" he had some tears rolling down his face, his smile almost threatening to break his face in half.  
This is not me being mean. This is me, enacting justice.

I have to admit, I had enjoyed this very much. And he knew that to, as I was unable to properly disguise my self-satisfied smirk.

He poked my side.

Heh. If he wanted to tickle me back, it wasn't going to work. He would need to do far worse to tickle me.

Picking me up again, as he had dropped me when trying to keep me from tickling him, we started making our way once again.  
Still smirking, I leaned my head against his shoulder again, looking at his red ears.

Was he flustered?

It didn't seem like an emotion Undertaker could really do.  
It must be from laughing so hard. His face had that tendency to get all red when he laughed too much. Along with the tears and drool.

Undertaker was cold. Not cold like hugging an ice cube, but he seemed to be in a constant state of slight hypothermia. On the other hand, his skin was soft and his hair could be used as a blanket, so he wasn't a completely useless pillow.

Cookies knew I had appreciated his cold temperature this summer.

We arrived at the railway faster than I had expected to, as it took me an eternity of being lost, to cross London.  
I broke the Dungeon we used to travel, putting Undertaker's hat on his head once again.  
I guess being really fast, coupled with actually knowing where to go, would make us arrive sooner than... being lost and walking aimlessly.

The railway was... Uh... a railway. It had quite a lot of people around, with their fluffy dresses and top hats, getting on or off the train.

I looked at my surroundings.

I was here. Finally. Where could the quest be?

"Uh... maybe... we should look around? Let's make a party just in case." Inviting Undertaker to the party, I used Observe on anything I could find.  
Anything, to see if I could find a clue to where the main Quest was.

It couldn't have moved, right? Quests don't usually move... at least not main ones...

People were still looking at me like I was a monster, and keeping their distance.  
At least that didn't change.

"What do you think of this~?" Undertaker called me over to investigate an out of service machine, which seemed to have been smashed to pieces. Looks like someone took out their anger management problems on it.  
Someone incredibly strong.

Using Observe on it almost gave me a heart attack.

Not because of the information it showed me, as it wasn't really anything I couldn't have deduced by myself, but because of the alert that jumped when I used the skill.

' **New Major Quest! [Down and Deeper]**

 **Quest Requisites:  
** **-Find the origin of the trail of destruction.  
** **-?  
** **-? Or ?**

 **Quest Rewards:  
** **-10000 exp points.  
** **-200£  
** **-New Major Quest [?]**

Oh my...

I finally got a major quest!

Although it doesn't seem like one of the rewards will be going home, it will give me another major quest, which can have the reward I have been looking for: going back to my own dimension.

I can't see two out of three requirements to complete the quest... maybe I will be able to see them once I complete the first requisite? It wouldn't be good if I had to fumble around, not knowing what I had to do.

Seems like one of the requirements has another option, because of that 'or' in between '?'s.

I turned to Undertaker. He was looking over my shoulder at the Quest.

"Seems like there should be a 'trail of destruction' to follow..."

I looked around.

I really cannot find any destruction. Maybe that happened so long ago that the people repaired the damage?

How could I find something that wasn't there anymore?

A trail of destruction should be hard to clean, but it had been almost a year since I got here... so it could happen.

...

Hey!

Didn't I have something like Quest markers? Where did I hear that...? I'm pretty sure I'm not mistaking this with another game's, I'm sure I heard of quest markers.

Think Dalia, think! Prove those intelligence points were not wasted on you!

...

"Such concentrated face~ hi hi hi~"

"Shhhh!"

"Hi hi~"

I can't remember.

Argh! Idiot!

Alright, alright. Calm down.

I can't remember, but it's alright, because if I actually have quest markers, they should be shown in the map, so it doesn't matter if I don't remember where I saw that.

If I had a marker showing where the quest was, then I wouldn't need to go following a trail that wasn't there anymore.

Crossing my fingers I opened the map.

It was grey. And it had markers.

Markers, as in more than one.

One of them I easily identified as the shop, the other was apparently Undertaker, as he was in a party with me.

There was one more, and this time the universe took pity on me, as it was a marker showing where the quest was.

' _Intelligence has increased by 1'_

I felt so relieved that I almost hugged Undertaker right out of the bat. The relieved sigh seemed to expel my soul out of my body.  
Eyeing the floating soul, Undertaker shoved it back into my body.

He smiled confusedly, probably expecting an explanation for all of that.

"We don't really need to follow the trail, we can go directly. The universe appears to hate my guts with a burning passion, so the fact that this worked... is good."  
Good was an understatement, but I really was lacking words to describe it in any other way.

I cried relieved tears, as Undertaker patted my head.

"That sounds very useful~... and sounds like cheating to me, doesn't it~?"

"As if you're not cheating with your very existence, 'Mr. Shinigami'."

He put a hand on his chest dramatically muttering 'ouch'.

He wasn't...?

Alright, no. He wasn't offended, good. Just making sure.

"Let's go!" Dragging him along when he proved to move too slowly for my current level of excitement, I started following the marker.  
Sometimes I would see a crack on the floor or a wall, that looked a bit suspiciously like a punch, but that probably meant we were getting closer.

...You know, suddenly this seemed more and more like a bad idea. A very bad idea.

I mean, if there's something out there strong and angry enough to do this, then we should really leave it alone.

How did it go...? Don't poke a sleeping bear? Let resting dogs sleep? Don't awake the sleeping lion? Something like that, I can't quite remember. But the point is clear.

Although... if this happened so long ago, then there's a chance that whatever did this is not angry anymore... supposing that whatever did this has the ability of becoming angry. For all I knew, this could be their default emotion, in which case, hightailing would be the smartest option.

While I entertained that train of thought I had started walking progressively slower, letting Undertaker catch up to me, although he didn't force the hand that had dragged him along to release his hand.

"Uhh... are you sure this is a good idea...? I mean, maybe we should..." I pointed vaguely backwards, signaling a retreat.

Undertaker's smirk was reprimanding and amused at the same time.

"Dear, you can't hide from your demons forever, some day, they will catch up~."

"Yeah... I know... I'm just questioning if this is the best moment to approach said demon... I mean..." I looked at the trail of destruction we were following. "There's a difference between facing your demons and entering said demon's den while it's angry... just saying..."

Undertaker seemed terribly amused. Poking my nose with one of his long nails, he kept following the trail. As he hadn't released my hand yet, our roles were reversed, as he dragged me along.

Alright, I will take that as an "I brought you this far, I'm not going to let you waste this trip". If only for my own sanity.

I followed, not like I had an option, because I couldn't release my hand, or go back to the shop without getting lost, in the hypothetical case I got my hand back.

Surprisingly, we ended up in London's underground.

Following the quest marker brought us to a half deserted part of it. Half because there was only one man in the whole place.  
And he seemed furious. As in… an anger beyond being angry. His eyes were absolutely crazed.

I know it wasn't very polite to stare, but I couldn't help but warily watch the stranger. He was pacing back and forth, like a caged lion.  
He suddenly turned to us, violently, and I jumped behind Undertaker.

Scary.

The man seemed to study us for a second before scoffing disdainfully and spiting a rude: "What?!"

Hearing his voice only made me want to hide behind Undertaker further, even his voice was scary.

No one said anything.

After some seconds the man scoffed again, like we were mere insects, and ignored us completely.  
Well... he was rude.

Peeking behind Undertaker I studied the man, who had gone back to pacing, like we weren't even there.

I can guess why this part of the underground is deserted now.

The stranger was... tall... not more than Undertaker, but taller than me. He had black hair and an impressive pissed off expression.  
Even more than Mr. Dimwit. Mr. Dimwit looked like he just swallowed a lemon 24/7. This man looks...

Like he has rabies or something.

I think he could be considered handsome? Maybe. He was too scary, but I think he was the type Kim would say something flirty to, ravishing him with her eyes. So, I think that means he's handsome.

Handsome men are scary. This just proves it.

Half of the time, they know they are handsome, and use it to their advantage, are douchebags, or simply think themselves above others because they had physical appeal.

Undertaker was an exception. He didn't act like that. But maybe it was because of the scar? I don't know… I think he's handsome. Or at least physically appealing. Scar and everything. And, if he does that thing, in which he tilts his head like a puppy, I would even call him cute.

Vilvent... I think he was another one who could be considered handsome, right? Or at least beautiful. But I wasn't convinced yet, that he wasn't an ass.

All in all, beautiful people more often than not, are evil.

Kim and Undertaker being exceptions.

Although… Judging by her own tales, Kim was popular with the opposite gender, but she wasn't mean... well...  
No, she could be a bitch when she wanted to... and she used her beauty from time to time, to get away with things she shouldn't...

Alright, Kim wasn't an exception.  
I only overlooked those flaws because she was my only friend. Good friends overlook their friends' flaws, not everyone can be perfect.

Undertaker was nice, though. He even tried to hide his face, although I'm not sure if it's because of his beauty, his scar, or his eyes. Or all of them.

Undertaker tapped me in the shoulder.

He made a silent gesture that I interpreted as: "what about the Quest?"

I made a wild gesticulation with my arms and shoulders. "I don't know?!"

Undertaker pointed at the map. "What about this?"

I looked at the map. The Quest marker was right over the rabid man.

I pointed hopelessly at the oblivious stranger, who hadn't noticed our silent conversation.

Undertaker looked at the man. After some time of consideration, he grabbed my arm, guiding me out of sight.

"What about the Quest?" Why were we whispering? Or… well, communicating without talking for that matter.

I looked at the Quest menu. Nothing changed. I shrugged.

Suddenly a crack was heard.

Jumping, I turned around to look at the strange man.

He had punched a wall.  
He had punched a freaking wall _and dented it_.

' **Quest Update! Find the origin of the trail of destruction.** **Competed.'**

' **Quest Update! Find the man's goal.'**

You have to be joking.

Please.

This man is my quest? Please, tell me you're kidding.  
He's scary! I can't do it!

My hands searched for Tofu, petting its head.

Alright, he might be scary, but you have faced scarier monsters.  
Like that shark made of bones.

I shuddered. I'm never entering the river dungeon again.

Alright, compared to the shark, this is just a human, nothing to worry about.

...

Wait, no. This man can punch holes through the ground! This man is no human!

A bark was heard.

Biscuit?

Biscuit, still in kid form, and still with silver hair, trotted to our section of the Underground.

Had they followed us here?

Biscuit stopped, sniffing around.

Yes, I'm pretty sure they followed us. I made a frantic move to Undertaker. "What do we do?" He shrugs, smiling blankly.

Great help.

Biscuit looked around their eyes falling on the stranger and immediately growling.  
Great, not again.

I sent an party invitation to Biscuit. I'm not sure they knew what to do with the invitation, but at least it would distract them for a while, hopefully.

Sadly, the man already noticed the dog-child.

He sneered and seemed even angrier, if possible. And before Biscuit arrived, I was sure it wasn't. I was proved wrong.

"What are you doing here? You useless piece of-"…Alright, I get he's angry, but that's not a way to tell a kid you just met to leave you alone.

I took a step in their direction.

Undertaker stopped me.

I looked confusedly at him. Why did he stop me? That terrible man was bullying poor Biscuit. He was now on my shit-list. I _had_ to do something.

Why did everyone want to bully poor Biscuit? They were adorable. A bit of a doofus, but adorable.  
They didn't deserve half of the reactions they were getting. Does this time hate kids or something?

Undertaker shouldn't stop me. But he probably had a reason to, right?

"... I told you to look for the demon! Not to run away somewhere to play around! What were you even doing?! I don't care! You stupid mutt! I can look on my own! Fuck off!"

The man was furious.

Did they know each other? The stranger had referred to Biscuit as 'mutt', did that mean he knew that Biscuit was a Demon Hound?

"You're not even listening to me! I don't know why I thought you could be useful! I should have left you where I found you! You useless trash!"  
Well, for starters, that's not a way to talk to _my_ dog.

Second, did I hear correctly?

 _He_ brought Biscuit here?

…

Maybe he could bring me back?

No.

He can go eat fried fish! Or his own liver with a side-dish of horse dung for that matter!

I would rather cut my legs before asking such a horrible person for help.

But, maybe he was having a bad day? Everyone can have those.

Biscuit wasn't really listening to the man. They were looking curiously at the alert inviting them to the party.  
At least the tactic to distract them from growling at the man worked.

Sadly, I don't think the stranger appreciated what I did for him, because he seemed pretty furious that the dog-child wasn't paying him any attention.  
The man kept spitting profanities to poor Biscuit, who seemed perfectly fine to ignore the man, sniffing and crying at the alert.

I think they recognize that as mine. Maybe.  
I can't be sure, maybe it's distressed that a mysterious floating box appeared in front of them.

The man seemed to be appeased by Biscuit's cries, even if they weren't directed at him. He probably couldn't see the invitation.

The man started talking... but I was more worried about Biscuit.  
They should go back home. Please go back home.

I wish my power was telepathy so I could tell Biscuit to go home.  
Sadly, I doubt they would actually do as I said, even if I did have telepathy.

' **Quest Update! Find the man's goal.** **Competed.'**

' **Quest Update! [Steal the man's diary without him noticing] or [Defeat the man to obtain the diary].'**

Eh?

Wait, wait! I wasn't listening! What was his goal?

I whispered to Undertaker if he caught what the man said.

He sent me an amused look before whispering back what the man said.

Oh.

The man was looking for an ancient demon artifact.

And he seemed very distressed, he really wanted that artifact. I'm not sure what demon artifacts are supposed to look like.

Maybe a crown with jewels. Something very fancy for sure.  
Something that would do justice a human's greed.

Apparently the man had been looking for the artifact for a while... but the thing kept escaping him.

Maybe demon artifacts were sentient? That would explain why it escaped the man. Or maybe they had fallen into another's hands. Someone who wasn't willing to give the demon-object up.  
I'm... not sure if I want anything to do with things demons got all of their hands over.

Were we supposed to help the man to get the artifact? Or were we supposed to get in his way?

The Quest only said something about a diary?

Really? I personally thought diaries were a bit cliché, and could be easily lost or stolen. Then anyone could know what you wrote.

A diary was made to be read. One of the less secure methods to keep secrets. If you really wanted to let out your feelings on a piece of paper you could do it, and then burn the paper afterwards.  
Diaries were... yeah. Not secure.

Why would anyone have a diary, I couldn't understand, but I wasn't about to question it further.

Apparently our mission was to get this man's diary.  
Why? Beats me.

But, it was my best bet to return home.

I turned to Undertaker, who nodded.

Alright, how to do this?

I had enough sneaking skill to be quite confident that he wouldn't notice me stealing, but...  
Maybe we should try to use a distraction?

Well, Biscuit is being very distracting...  
It wouldn't work.

Biscuit was there, they would notice me immediately and try to lick me and cry and everything. There wouldn't be any way for me to not be noticed by the man.  
In fact, it would be better if Undertaker was the one doing the stealing while I used Biscuit's enthusiasm to my advantage, distracting the man.

But I wasn't very sure about Undertaker's stealing abilities. Or even sneaking skills, he was as conspicuous as a hit to the head.

...

Hey, that comparison wasn't half bad. Improvement! Although, I feel like I heard that somewhere, so maybe I'm not that creative.

Anyways, this is quite the situation.

Maybe Undertaker should try to distract Biscuit and the man? He would definetely do the job well. He was very distracting.  
But... the moment Biscuit sniffs me around, we are doomed.

...

We would need to defeat the man, right?  
I... don't really like to fight... even if I was quite cross with that man.

He could just be having an awful day, though...

But he was trash-talking poor Biscuit.  
I'm not sure when, but Biscuit has sneaked into my circle of people I care about.

Alright. I think it's decided. I don't like this man, and probably never will.

...

Now I need to decide what to do to get the diary from him.

Sadly, the world doesn't stop to let me think of a way to accomplish the Quest.  
And that was proved when Biscuit finally got tired of looking at the invitation, and instead became fed up with the man.

They growled at the stranger I had to steal from, who seemed to be about to start foaming at the mouth from pure, unadulterated fury.  
Every second I like this man less and less.

I need to think of a way to steal that diary, and get us all, Biscuit included, out of here.

And I needed to think fast.  
I was horrible at thinking fast.

And then, the man raised a hand. By then I gave up all pretense to trying to sneak or even thinking a plan.  
To hell with the plan.

I can go get Biscuit out of here, then come back sneaking to get the diary when there aren't dogs around!  
Hey… That's not a bad plan, actually.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

That was me. In the most offended voice I could make. I didn't have to act at all. I was really offended.

"Who do you think you are?! To hit a poor child! Shame on you!" I embraced Biscuit, who seemed completely elated to have found me.

"Excuse me madam, but that thing is not a child!"

That sounds vaguely familiar, I remember saying something similar, once.

No matter, I wasn't about to listen to any of his pathetic excuses.

Instead I said very clearly what I thought about him and his methods. In a not so nice way.  
For the sake of my own embarrassment, I will avoid specifying my exact words. I didn't really think very clearly, when I was angry.

The man seemed appalled that a woman would have such language, and made that very clear.

"How dare you talk to me like that, you wench! You should meddle in your own business, you bitch! I'm going to fucking kill you!"

Then the name calling began.  
I wasn't very good at name calling.

So I decided to shame him instead.

"You're a pathetic man! Name calling and threatening to someone who hasn't done anything to you! You shouldn't be in charge of anyone, much less a child. I hope you're satisfied because I'm sure if your mother taught you that language, then your family is as horrible as you are!"

I know naming mothers was bad, and I would probably wallow in self-pity for that the rest of the way back, but right now that was the only thing insulting enough I could think of.

The man turned a very curious vermilion color, frothing at the mouth.

The man tensed, raising a hand. He probably would have bodily harmed us, but before he could Undertaker finally stopped snickering and came to our rescue.  
Still with Biscuit burrowed in my chest, I found a chance to try to steal the diary, when the man got almost nose to nose with Undertaker, in an attempt of intimidation.

Honestly, I was more intimidated by Undertaker's chuckle than the man's shouts, but apparently the man was too blinded by rage to realize he was out of his league. Although I don't blame him. Undertaker could get very infuriating.

The diary wasn't in his coat, nor anywhere on his person.

I looked to see if the man had any more belongings around here.  
There was a bag of sorts, more like a case, forgotten nearby.

I think it was his.  
Seeing as he was the only one around here, I'm very sure that's his.

As Undertaker riled up the stranger a little bit more, I quietly sneaked to the case, and started looking for the diary, eyes on the man. Biscuit was thankfully silent, just looking at the shouting man and the quietly intimidating mortician, grabbing onto my furisode.

' **Major Quest Completed! [Down and deeper].**

 **Quest Rewards:  
** **-10000 exp points.  
** **-200£  
** **-New Major Quest [Behind it all]**

It took a bit to find it, but I did. Closing the case and dragging Biscuit back behind Undertaker, the man sent us a murderous glare.

' _[Detect Bloodlust] has leveled up by one.'_

The man attempted to shout at us some more, saying how we were meddling where we weren't called, among other, less nice, things.

I had the diary, I had Biscuit. I was fine. I wouldn't let this stupid man get a rise out of me. At the end of the day, I won.

As Undertaker guided me away I looked closely at the man.

He had black hair, with dense, but not big, eyebrows that gave him a permanently angry expression.  
I think he could have been considered handsome, with refined features curved into a scowl. He was pale, which made his rage-induced color changes all the more noticeable.  
He was dressed as most gentlemen of this time were, the only remarkable accessory he wore was a pendant with a blue gem inside.

I had to remember this man. He was on my shit-list.  
This one I wouldn't allow myself to forget.

* * *

I almost fainted when we got back to the shop, from exhaustion, really.  
Getting angry was taxing, I didn't like getting angry, but that man had been absolutely despicable.

Undertaker went to the kitchen.

Biscuit threw itself on my coffin, next to me.

Sigh...

I tried to listen to what Undertaker was doing, picturing his movements in the kitchen by the sounds that I heard.

...

Oh. He was making cookies.  
Good, very good. I need cookies.

I looked at the diary. I'm not sure why it was important, but it was.

I started reading.

It belonged to a man called Zephyr.  
The man had made a contract with the devil, or a demon. Something like that, it wasn't described how.

Apparently he had asked for something that could grant him anything he wanted.  
The demon gave him an artifact of sorts, disguised as a mundane object. It wasn't specified exactly what object.

Mainly because, not long after the demon gave the man what he asked for, he devoured the man's soul, not even waiting for him to actually get to use his gift.

...

Well, that's... anticlimactic. And quite cruel. I guess it should be expected of a demon.  
Luckily the diary didn't stop with the man's death.

Instead Zephyr's son, also called Zephyr, continued writing, explaining that the artifact had been on his hands, and granted him the amazing power to go to different worlds...

Different worlds...?

Like... what happened to me?

Well, not exactly like what happened to me, as I was quite sure that I had been moved across dimensions because of the gamer power.

Maybe I could go back home, if I found the artifact and asked it to go home?  
But... I shouldn't trust demon-made things...

I will try to go back with my own means first, if I can't, I might consider asking the demon artifact.

I kept reading.

From what I read, Zephyr the second, at the time, hadn't realized that the object he had thought useless was actually the powerful artifact that gave him his powers, and the artifact escaped his hands, before he realized that the object he had had, was the same artifact his father's diary talked about.

Apparently, now Zephyr the second was using his power to travel dimensions to find the artifact, without much luck.

He had followed the trail to a future-like dimension and had been about to force it out of hiding, but it escaped to this dimension we were now in.

...

Wao, talk about multiverse, I think my head is getting dizzy with so many dimensions.

Undertaker came out with cookies... which I promptly stole with the power of my cuteness.  
Using my [Chibi form] like this was probably abuse of power, but it got me cookies. And Undertaker didn't seem to mind.

Undertaker sat me on his lap, while he read the diary, and I ate cookies.

Biscuit got its nose close to me, and tried to eat my cookies. Grrr...

Mine.

Biscuit whined, trying to get me to share.  
I don't share cookies. Much less with a dog, Cookies are bad for dogs... I think. Yes, if they have sugar then they're bad. Not for dogs.

Even if they do look like dog treats.

Undertaker started patting my head absentmindedly, while Biscuit went to a corner to whine and look dejectedly at us.

I grabbed Undertaker's hand. It was big, and pale.  
He had incredibly long, black nails. Playing with his nails, I wondered how he could keep such long nails.

Somehow, my inspection of his nails brought me to his pinky finger, where he had a scar.  
Tracing the scar, I found another by his wrist, underneath his sleeves.  
I caressed that one too.

"Hi hi hi~ that tickles~."I blinked at his amused eyes, peeking under his bangs.

I smirked.

I wasn't about to tickle him again.  
But I really wanted to.

His eyes went back to reading the book, while I went back to examining his hand.

He had more, smaller, almost unnoticeable, scars, which indicated he had had, at some point, a manual job. Maybe from making coffins?

I looked at the ring on his index finger.  
It was a green gem, encased in what seemed to be silver. I played with the finger that had the ring, not really daring to really touch the ring itself. It seemed terribly expensive.

Undertaker's hand was limp, letting me put it in any position I wanted.

I started closing fingers, then opening some.  
Playing around with his hand, I didn't notice when Undertaker hugged me, only when the book ended up in front of me, did I notice that I was trapped in another of Undertaker's hugs.

Squirming until I was comfortable, I used Undertaker's long robe as a blanket, while using him as a pillow.  
That's what he gets, for trying to use me as a plushy.

What time was it? Would it be strange if I went to sleep now? Undertaker was comfortable.  
Really comfortable. He wasn't warm, but that's my role in these hugs.

Biscuit tried to join, just to get a face full of Undertaker's boot. Well, seems like Biscuit is not joining this cuddling session.

Why did I call it that? That's embarrassing.  
But that's exactly what it was.

A cuddling session.

It felt nice.

I felt loved.

* * *

Well, Undertaker was an ass and I should never have accepted his conditions.

Apparently, when he said he: "wanted me to follow him along in a certain adventure" to "look at a couple of things", he actually meant that I had to help him discover the murderer of the nobles who got brutally murdered and then decorated with flowers.

The flowery murders.

With Vilvent.

Vilvent, who, by some mystery of life, was in charge of the investigation.

Or something like that.

I had told them everything I knew, and everything I had garnered from my Observe skill, but I really don't know how I could help any.

Vilvent had made quite the investigation, and crossed out the nearby flower shop owners as suspects.

They knew where the killer had gotten the flowers and cologne with both murders, thanks to me, but I don't think I can really be more useful, past this point.

Unless there's another murder, which is something I don't want to happen.

So, apparently, until we get the killer I have to help Undertaker help Vilvent.

Let's go get a murderer. Yay...

I'm doomed.


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler, I could never compare to Yana Toboso. That adorable furball and Dalia are mine though!**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

I awoke to a face full of hair.  
And not mine, mind you.

Spitting out white hair every morning was one of the downsides of sleeping near someone who had an impressively long hair.

I kicked out of bed said someone with impressively long hair.

"Ouch..."

That's what he gets for waking me up with his hair.

Biscuit quickly filled up the space left behind by the kicked out reaper.

I didn't hear Undertaker try to get up. Looking at the floor I found him still on the ground, growing grass.

...

I'm not sure if he's even alive.

"Are you dead?"

A snicker proved my worries unneeded.

"In a sense~"

"Shame. Do you want me to fit you for a coffin?" That was apparently hilarious, as he started giggling.

"There's life in this old dog yet~."

I looked at him. Thrown across the floor. He wasn't very convincing.

"Whatever you say..."

Undertaker finally got up, only to let himself fall on top of Biscuit and me.  
I merely exhaled a half-pained sigh, Biscuit whined, and moved a little, still sleeping like a log.

I futilely tried to get the man out of the bed, but he had decided to play dead.  
Finally giving up, I took his hair, using it was an extra blanket. It was so soft... even if it was quite messy.

...

...

At some point, Undertaker started moving again.

Grrrr... Why can't he just go back to sleep?

"I have to open shop dear~"

"The dead aren't going anywhere."

"But they aren't going to stop dying just because I want to sleep a little longer~."

"Sue them."

"I can't~ hi hi~"

"I don't care."

"I need my hair back~."

"Too bad, its mine now."

"I can't leave if you have my hair~."

"Cut it."

"No, I don't think I will~."

Biscuit whined and tried to get the loudmouths to shut up.

By kicking ME out of bed.

"Hi hi hi~ how ironic~"

He had ended up on the floor, too, as I still had his hair in my grasp.

I whined.

Biscuit whined.

Undertaker snickered.

Feeling myself being picked up, I barely opposed resistance. What for? I couldn't go back to bed. And the floor was cold.

Going downstairs while carrying me, would have been a bit tricky, so I transformed into my more size-friendly Chibi form.

I was half asleep, almost drooling on his shoulder, as he let me on my coffin, while he went to get changed into his work robes.

The ones that weren't a cat-themed pajamas.  
I don't think the poor clients would have been able to bear with that. Our guests would have doubled in number.

He got back with my furisode, although I didn't see the obi anywhere.

He put it over my own pajamas, not bothering to tie it up.

In this form it was too big for me, but it was still soft as silk. Was it silk?

While I yawned, I got placed on the kitchen table somehow, I hadn't realized I had been moved.

I blinked at Undertaker, in front of me, eating his Dog-treat shaped cookies.

I took one, and sleepily brought it to my mouth.

...

This wasn't a cookie.

"This is not a cookie!" This was the maximum amount of indignation I can muster, when I just woke up.

"Of course not~. It's a biscuit~. He he he~"

...

It's not bad... I'm not sure which I like better.  
It smelled faintly like vanilla... I sleepily sniffed at the cookie... ehh... biscuit.

I think I liked my cookies better... but I wasn't against this new recipe at all.

"Make more of those..." yawn "... but don't stop making cookies..."

Undertaker snickered. Saying something about being cute.

I yawned again, while I got myself hugged by a gushing reaper.

A nail poked my cheek.  
I was busy yawning, so I had to ignore that.

I looked at the food in front of me.

Milk, biscuits, a toast and a small cup of chocolate.

Mhmmm...

I took the toast. And started munching on it, like a rabbit.

Undertaker disappeared somewhere.

He was back not long after, with a perfectly awake Biscuit hot on his heels.

Biscuit sniffed the chocolate.

I promptly shoved the toast I had been eating in Biscuit's mouth and started drinking the chocolate like my life depended on it. My life wasn't on the line, but Biscuit's was.  
Chocolate was poisonous for dogs, and while I wasn't sure it was applicable to Demon-dogs, I really didn't want to find out.

I let the toasted bread and milk near Biscuit, while I hoarded the chocolate and biscuits, away from Biscuit's grabby hands. I wasn't going to let them poison themselves first thing in the morning.

Once with a fuller stomach, I went to the front shop, where I was picked up by Undertaker.

He said something about having to wait until I started cleaning today.

I was still a little sleepy, so I wasn't listening to him very closely.

He just told me to take care of Hercules, and that he would call me when I had to come back.

* * *

"Lia~"

Oh, crap.

It's Undertaker.

"Little Lia~"

I had to hurry. If Undertaker found me... I'm dead meat. I'm done for. My ass is grass.

"Lia~"

Don't let him find me, please don't let him find me.

Slow, deliberated steps were heard.

I held my breath.

"Little Lia~?"

Please, all my Stealth, all my skills, don't let him find me.

The steps entered the room I was in.

"I know you're here, little Lia~..."

That creepy, sing-song drawl of his... Undertaker was in the room.

Don't breathe. Don't talk. Do not make a sound.

The steps passed me by.

A door closed.

...

Was he gone?

After a few moments hearing nothing, I peeked out from my hiding place.

Nothing on the left. Nothing on the right.

I crawled out.

Right as I did so, I realized my mistake.

Undertaker's robe was on the floor, right underneath my feet, camouflaging with the floor.

It was a trap.

I only had time to look upwards to see a white and black blurr jump down at me, using the robe to cocoon me and prevent me from escaping.

"Noooo! Takeeer!"

"Here you are~. You were very naughty, my little Lia~ hi hi hi"

"I don't wannaaaaa...!"

"You promised little Lia~"

"I only promised to go once! This is the third time! It's not my fault the watchdog can't find the culprit! I don't want to go..."

"Now, now~ it's not that bad~..." he thought about it for a second. "I will buy you Ice cream, how about it~?"

...

Ice cream?

...

I was very selective with my ice cream.

"...What kind of ice cream?" I crawled out of the layers of cloth surrounding me, until I could peek my face out of the cocoon.

"Any kind you want~"

Mhmm...

"What if there isn't any kind I like?"

"Then, you just have to ask through that little mouth of yours, and I will get you any kind of ice cream you want~"

"What if it doesn't exist, yet?"

"You ask and I will make it exist~"

...

"Last time you made me go, too... does that mean I get another ice cream?" I had to try.

"..."

I stared, waiting for an answer. Puppy eyes at maximum power.

"Alright, you will get two ice creams, but you don't get to cry and whine anymore, deal~?"

I nodded.

For ice cream? Of course.

"What if the flavor it's not the exact one I wanted?"

It was a valid concern, even if it did have the same ingredients as an ice cream I liked, that doesn't mean it would be the same.

"We already talked about this, dear~. I will get you your ice cream. Stop worrying~"

I can't. I have to worry about something or I will explode, submitting myself to madness and chaos. Not necessarily in that order.

"I'm going to bathe, and this time, I don't want you attempting to flee, alright~?"

I nodded.

I wasn't attempting to flee.

If I was, I would have used an Instant Dungeon, then he wouldn't have been able to find me.

Before letting him walk away, I brushed his hair.  
As much as I loved his hair, it was very hard to maintain. I had to brush his hair before and after he bathed, or he would end up with a horrible, untamable, mess of a hair.

As he prepared himself to attend some fancy Halloween party hosted by the noble of this or that, in which he would wear the same clothes as always, I decided to invest my time in a productive activity.

"Come on Biscuit! Fetch!"

' _Throwing has leveled up by one.'_

' _Throwing has reached level 10. Accuracy increased. Damage increased. Critical hit ratio increased.'_

Oh, improvement, nice.

Biscuit brought the ball.

It wasn't really a ball... it was some junk Undertaker kept around, but it held a vaguely round shape, so it would have to do.  
And it did.

It was a good way to improve my Throwing skill.

And Biscuit had fun. And got tired, which meant less incidents. Everyone happy.

Where did I leave my obi? I didn't have my furisode tied up, and was flying with the wind, but it was nice. I felt free. I smiled. I felt... relieved. Happy.

I still had a black shirt underneath, I wasn't about to go around naked, thank you very much. I just... didn't like to go around naked. It's not that there was anything... wrong with my body, I just didn't like to be naked.  
I was average, in everything. That didn't mean I liked going around showing my upper... assets to the world. I wasn't...

Why was I thinking this?

Blinking, I decided that my mind was a scary place. I kept throwing the ball at Biscuit.

I'm not sure how long we did this, but after leveling up thrice, I leveled up in something I wasn't expecting.

' _[Detect Presence] has leveled up by one.'_

Uh?

I looked around the backyard.

Undertaker was by the door, looking at us. How long has he been here?

He seemed... lost in his mind. I couldn't see his eyes from afar, but I was pretty sure they were looking in our direction.

I waved. He didn't wave back.  
Was it my imagination or was he out of it?

After a few seconds in which we awkwardly looked at each other, I approached him.  
"Are you done?" After he silently nodded, I extended a hand towards him.

He blinked, and extended a hand towards my own, uncertainly brushing his fingers with my open hand.  
I raised an eyebrow, confused. "Eh... I was actually asking for my brush."

His eyes widened almost comically, blushing.  
He gave me my brush in record time, I didn't even have to take it from him.  
I don't think I could call it my brush anymore, he used it almost as much as I, maybe even more.

We went inside, still in silence. I didn't find it uncomfortable. It was good to have silence once in a while. Although, I was a bit confused about the reaper's actions. But if he didn't want to tell me, I wasn't about to pry.

Biscuit followed us, the "not-quite-a-ball" in its mouth. After looking at both of us for some time, and seeing as we weren't going to keep playing, they decided to drop the "ball", and go with Hercules instead.

I think Biscuit learned to leave us alone when I brushed Undertaker's hair.

It was very relaxing. Brushing Undertaker's hair, that is. It was... very soothing. I liked it very much.

When I deemed the hair as good enough, I left the brush on the coffin, as Undertaker turned around, guiding me into his lap so he could play with my hair.  
Although, I have to admit that when he started massaging my scalp, it felt so good that I could fall asleep. That felt way too good to be legal.

He snickered.

"Are you ready~?"  
"Mhnooo..."  
"It won't be bad, you won't even have to dance~"  
"I don't know how to dance."  
"I believe you~"  
I sent him a nasty glare.  
He hugged me. Trapping me inside his arms, hiding his face in my neck.

"There will be a killer in there..."  
He made an affirmative noise in the back of his throat.  
"And I'm supposed to find it?"  
"Just look around with those eyes of yours, even if you don't find anything, that could give us a hint, at the very least~"

"All of the victims were landowners."  
He confirmed again.  
"And had an earth marking carved into their chests..."  
He made another affirmation noise.  
"And Vilvent thinks both things are related." A nod against my neck.

He finally stopped burrowing himself against the side of my neck, showing his usual smile. "Yes, it is very likely that a victim will attend tonight's party, and therefore is possible that the killer will be there."

So far, there had been four victims. And we, (well, Vilvent and company), though that the killer had something against land owners, and killed them because of it.  
And tonight there would probably be another murder.

The second to last victim, sir... Arthur, I believe, had let us discover a ritual of sorts, which had been interrupted, when the police arrived.

The last victim, had been the one that had finally sprung the watchdog into action, as he had been a very big shot. A Marquis, but I cannot remember the name. He died barely six days after the other victim.  
The killer was getting cocky, or impatient.

"Are you afraid~?" Undertaker poked his nail against my cheek, still not letting me go.  
I hadn't even considered being afraid. I... felt safe, in Undertaker's arms.  
"No."  
I could see his eyes widening from the corner of my eye, he was looking straight at me. He smirked, and buried his nose against the side of my neck, again.  
His nose was cold.  
I petted his hair, as he often did to me, enjoying the softness of his long locks.  
He lifted his head a little to look at me.

His eyes... were shining. It was almost mesmerizing... they were so... soft?

His eyes here half opened, looking at me, I felt... vaguely uncomfortable, my stomach was doing backflips from nervousness, and I didn't know what was going on inside his head. What was he doing?

Bang!

His eyes widened as saucers as he jumped away, while I looked confusedly at the door that led to the backyard, where an angry Biscuit had entered like they just heard the mailman.

Then started barking at the door of the shop.

Ah...

Vilvent was here...

Biscuit didn't like Vilvent, which was ironic, because, as Undertaker told me, he was the Queen's Watchdog. I'm not sure what it means, but apparently he has to do things, like investigations, for the Queen.

Rewinding, what just happened?

I'm not sure what that was, but it made Undertaker turn all red. Without laughing.

He usually became red when he laughed... from the strain.

Did he strain himself? But he was just looking at me.

...

It was getting colder again, he wasn't getting sick now, was he? If he became sick, I wouldn't know what to do. I don't know how to take care of the sick.  
How do you treat a sick person? Especially a Grim Reaper? Do they need especial care, when they get sick? Could Grim Reapers get sick?

I looked at Undertaker suspiciously.

He greeted Vilvent normally, although his ears were still red. I kept digging holes at the side of Undertaker's head, while he ignored me, talking to Vilvent about tonight's plan.

...

He didn't seem sick.

Maybe I was reading too much into it.

"Hello lady Dalia, I hope you are ready to do your part." Vilvent smiled at me, very creepily, if I may say.

I don't even know how to treat this man.

Today, I think I'm leaning more towards "too scary to talk to".

Hiding behind Undertaker I said I would give it my all.

Everyone expected me to.

* * *

I hate balls.

Not the spherical toys, I mean the celebrations.

...

Well... I'm not particularly fond of that kind of balls, either.  
They seemed specifically programmed to always hit my face.

Going back to the only ball currently making my life difficult.

I don't even know how to dance.

There's a lot of people I don't know... and I had a job to do.

The way Vilvent had said to "do my part" still sent shivers down my spine. It wasn't fair at all, Phanthomhive wasn't even going to attend this party, as they were hosting their own back at their house.

It was a Halloween party, but it was... strange. It was far more... fancy than I had imagined.

Technically speaking, it was a somewhat... public event, and even normal people like undertaker and me could mingle and play games with the aristocrats that had deigned to come here. There probably was another, noble-only party somewhere. Or maybe the big shots did like Vilvent and hosted their own Halloween party...

Like a VIP party.  
We weren't VIP.  
And if we were here, neither was the killer I had to find.

Well... "Had to find" was perhaps a bit... oversimplified.

Vilvent had apparently deduced some of the killer's characteristics, and I had to point out those that could fit that criteria. Then Vilvent would look into those I pointed out.  
Until we found the killer.

I was aware that Vilvent probably could find the killer without me, but I was clearly the fastest option.

And, if we found the killer fast, there would be less victims...

Sigh.

"Are you sure the viscount is not suspicious?"

"The viscount Druitt has previous medical knowledge, I'm afraid~. Our killer was quite sloppy in their work~, it is very unlikely the killer is a medic. Hi hi~"

Damn. That guy is a creep.  
The viscount, not Undertaker.  
Well, scratch that. They are both a pair of creeps.

I mean... he was looking like a pedophile, when he showed interest in Biscuit.  
The Viscount, not Undertaker.

I... would rather forget I even met that guy at all. What is wrong with that one?  
Once again, I'm talking about the Viscount of Druitt, not 'Taker.

Right now he was being all creepy to some young girls. How doesn't anybody even bat an eye at him?  
At the Viscount, I mean, not Undertaker.  
Undertaker was being creepy around my corner, creeping on old ladies and making children cry.

...

Not that _that_ was any better.

Keeping an eye on Biscuit was certainly harder than it should be, but the old man wasn't really doing his part.

Stupid old man should just go bald.

Grabbing him away from a pair of children that seemed about to faint, I dragged him to where I had seated Biscuit.  
The amount of effort I had to put to keep them in place should be illegal.

I glared at the reaper.

"I can't do my part if you just leave me to take care of Biscuit."

"Hi hi hi~ terribly sorry, my dear~"

"Filthy lies."

"Aww~... how about that one?"

I looked at the one he was pointing.

I used the Observe skill.

"Unlikely, he has allergy to the flowers of that vase next to him..."

I turned to Undertaker, but the reaper had already disappeared, leaving me to take care of the dog-child again.

Sigh.

Why do I even bother?

Putting a hand on Biscuit's shoulder to make sure they weren't going anywhere, I looked around, anyone I saw that could fit the requirements, I wrote their name on a list.

Biscuit had been... surprisingly well behaved. At least compared to Undertaker, who had ran away to do who-knows-what.

I think I saw the reaper participating in a children's game, not that long ago. Something about a coin and flour... I _think_ it was flour...

Biscuit had terrible manners, and couldn't speak farther than barks and growls, but as long as I said they were shy, and hid Biscuit behind me to avoid them proving me wrong, no one said anything.

And with the canine assets very well hidden, Biscuit looked like any other human kid.

"Hello~!"

A singsong voice greeted me. I didn't know this man.

"Uh... hello..."

"My name is Eldwin Spanner, pleased to meet you."

"Dalia..."

"Pleased to meet you miss Dalia."

"..."

"..."

Uh...

"..."

"..."

Well... this is awkward.

The... What was his name? Spandex? Spandex didn't seem affected at all by the silence.  
In fact he seemed completely obvious to it.

He seemed to have a smile painted on his face, like someone had pressed a pause button. It wasn't a fake smile, though.  
That made it weirder.

Spinner... had green hair. And round glasses.

He looked like a dork.

Shoud I... I mean... what does he wan-"Is there anything you need?"

"Uh? Ah... no... Thank you..."

"Is that so...?" He looked confused for a second, but it didn't last longer than that, as he cheerfully waved whatever he had thought away.

"Then I'll take my leave~ bye~"

He pranced away.

What the...

I looked into the guy with Observe, if only to know more about him.

And promptly deadpanned.

...

How to put this...?

He didn't just look like a dork. He was.

A lucky bastard in the most literal sense of the word.

"Having fun~?" Oh? so when someone comes to talk to me, _then_ he appears... what in idiot.

"You need to see this."

In any other moment I would have been startled by Undertaker suddenly appearing behind me, leaning over my shoulder.

I told him about the lucky guy. And more importantly, his stats.

 _'Name: Eldwin Spanner.  
_ _Title: Cloud chaser  
_ _Level: 21_

 _Str: 1  
_ _Vit: 1  
_ _Dex: 1  
_ _Int: 1  
_ _Wis: 1  
_ _Luck: 108'_

I mean... what the hell is this?

His personality traits showed he was a complete airhead.

He was absolutely useless at everything, and still managed to have incredible luck.

"Hi hi hi~ how interesting~. And it seems you're having fun and everything~"  
Hardly. So far, I have spent the whole time taking care of Biscuit and looking for a serial killer.

"I would have had more fun if you actually helped me out with Biscuit. You should be ashamed, they are behaving better than you."

"I'm doing you a favor, dear~. You won't like what will happen if I actually do as you ask~."

"Will the world end?"

"No~"

"Then that's not an excuse."

"Alright~. That just means more fun for me~. Hi hi hi~ I can already see your mortified face~ hi hi~"

Uh...

Suspicious.

As time went on, though, I didn't find anything that would warrant such a reaction from me.

Undertaker was giggling as he kept Biscuit entertained.

Sometimes people would come and talk to Undertaker, or sometimes even me.

Undertaker had to help me, in such moments, as I was sure I would put my feet in my mouth, the moment I started talking.

Not that he helped much, he mainly liked to laugh at my attempts at normal conversation. I think he was laughing at that. I really couldn't understand half of what was going on.  
Somehow, everyone thought I was married? I don't quite get it. Maybe they assumed I'm married because here women marry early? That could be.  
They liked to talk about absolutely everything. This woman's hairdress, that man's last affair... And somehow congratuling us for something I wasn't even aware of. Maybe Undertaker's business?  
Why did people of this time like to talk so much? I don't think I can take this much social interaction.

I finished writing everyone who could possibly be the killer. I really didn't feel like joining people to play... apple bobbing? I didn't feel like getting my face wet.

I turned to Undertaker.

"Taker... how much longer will we have to stay...?"

"A little bit longer, dear~ hi hi~ aren't you enjoying yourself~?"

I transformed into Chibi From, jumping into his arms.

"Noooo..."

"Hi hi~ poor little Lia~ she's having such a bad time~ why don't you join a game~?"

Biscuit started jumping around, trying to get to me.

Sigh. And they had been so well behaved.

Undertaker had to put me down on the floor, or Biscuit would end up doing something that I couldn't explain so easily.

"Hello Miss, May I inquire as to your son's name?"

Son?

I have a son?

"Eh?"

"I must say I'm fascinated by your son's hair coloring and pale eyes, a true manifestation of the moon. A true beauty to behold."

What?

Wait, rewind. What son?

Moon? Son?

What?

"Eh..."

"May I know the little one's name? Excuse me if it sounds rude, but I really must know."

"Uh..."

"It's Biscuit~"

Eh?

Biscuit was my son?

What?

Biscuit is a dog. Not... my son. And why did that man assume Biscuit's gender? Wha-?

My son? Since when was Biscuit...

Alright. I think something broke inside my head.

...

The man exchanged a few words with Undertaker... I just listened closely.

The man... was quite creepy. He seemed to have an unhealthy amount of interest in Biscuit. As in… and actual obsession. Even creepier than that Pedo-Viscount.

I knew this man, he was one of the suspects I had put on the list.

I may be a bit biased on this, but I don't want him near Biscuit.  
I know he was innocent until proven otherwise. But...

Better not to tempt fate. Biscuit stays away from the man.

"Forgive my intrusion, I didn't mean to unsettle your lady wife. You have a magnificent son."

What.

Wasn't Biscuit MY son? How is Biscuit Undertaker's...?

Oh.

Oh, my.

Lady wife?

Surely he doesn't mean me?

"No worries~. She's just shy~. Gets startled easily~, although I would suggest you watch your enthusiasm, or it may give the wrong kind of impression." The last statement was a warning. And not a very well disguised one.

Er... can we go back to the "wife" thing?

What was that?

The man ended up retreating. I seized my chance to chew out a certain reaper that should just go bald.

"Can you explain to me... _what_ was that?"

"Oh~ well~ that man had shown more interest than they should~... so I pointed it out~"

"Not that. The other thing."

"Asking Biscuit's name~?"

"No"

"Assuming that Biscuit was male? There's a certain assumption in this time, when someone's gender is uncertain: If it wears pants, it's male. If it wears a dress: It's female."

"No!" Although, that was something to remember.  
I looked around. I had said that a little louder than I wanted. "I meant the wife thing!"

"Oh... _that_ ~...What about it?"

"What do you mean 'what about it?' what... why did they think that we're married?! And more importantly... why didn't you correct them?"

"Why would I correct them~?"

"Why _wouldn't_ you?"

"Do I need a reason to~?"

"Do you need a reason besides 'it's not true'?"

He tapped his lower lip, as if he was thinking.

Stupid old man is enjoying it.

I had to give up, if the old man felt like being difficult, there was nothing I could do about it.  
In fact, I think I just discovered the reason why he didn't correct the man: It was more amusing, and he got to tease me.

Even more importantly… that explained so much of the other conversations we had.

I put my head on my hands, beyond exasperated. I couldn't even be angry at Undertaker.

"Sigh... can we go back to the shop...?"

His face, or at least what could be seen of it, softened. He patted my head.

"Of course."

* * *

I hate parties. Celebrations. Balls.

I hate them all.

I still cannot understand why everyone thought that Biscuit was my child.  
My child! I'm not that old!

Biscuit looked to be around seven or eight years old. I was twenty, if it was mine, I would have been at least thirteen when they were born! Or worse, twelve!

And let's not forget that Biscuit is a dog! They may look like a kid, but I... I didn't give birth to them! This was absolutely embarrassing.

The but of the joke?  
Undertaker seemed perfectly happy to let them believe that we were married and that he was Biscuit's father.

All because Biscuit was going through a phase and turned its hair silver.

Alright, I admit that it could be easier to let people believe what they wanted, than explain this confusing situation, but... this was wrong!

I mean, Biscuit looks nothing like us! If we let aside the hair that resembles Undertaker's, and Biscuit's blue eyes that one could say looked like mine (even if it wasn't true), we didn't look alike, at all!

Not even our eyes were the same shade of blue!  
Genetics don't work that way!

Needless to say, by the end of the night I felt like chewing on Undertaker's head.

Tonight he was sleeping in a coffin. No way am I sharing the bed with that ass after that stunt.  
And if he was hungry, he could cook himself!

I had identified a few people who fit the killer's characteristics, but now Vilvent has to do his job and find their alibis, and all that.

Honestly? From all of the possible suspects, I was worried the most by the one who had taken special interest in Biscuit, saying how "my child resembled the moon" among other creepy things.

I shuddered. If Vilvent has his facts straight, he would look at that one first.

Of course, he could mean that in a way to wish luck but... well, I wasn't very receptive tonight. All of those costumes are making me nervous.

Argh! I really want to get home, and get out of this death-trap they call corset.

I sighed.

"The next murder, I will commit myself."

Nobles were stupid, pompous idiots.

Or dramatic perverts. That Viscount... I don't like him at all.

"Why so sour~? Didn't you have fun~?"

My curt "No", drew a chuckle out of him. I added: "And I'm expecting my ice cream."

"Tomorrow, you will have your ice cream~"

Opening the door of the shop, he held the door open for me and Biscuit.

"Any preference, dear~?"

I thought.

"Chocolate. Or lemon! Both are fine. But not together in the same Ice cream. Didn't you owe me two ice creams? Then, there you have it. Have fun." I made a pompous turn of the head, walking away.

Crawling to the bedroom to get my pajamas on, I had to go back to ask Undertaker's help, to get the corset off.

He snickered as he did so. Even my grand retreat was foiled by this stupid dress.

Gosh, I hate dresses and corsets.

All of them can go and burn.

* * *

"Her crinoline took fire and she burned to death."

I blinked at the body.

"Which wood do you think would be best~? Mhmmm~..." He didn't wait for me to give my opinion, as I knew nothing about woods, and started looking around to make a simple coffin as asked.

"I will... go clean something."

I had already cleaned the shop this morning, but... the smell of a burnt corpse was more than I could handle.

I sighed.

Well, a lot of things had happened in these last few days, and I was a little bit stressed. Okay maybe a lot.

For starters Undertaker and I went to the railway, and finally found a Main Quest, that consisted of stealing a man's diary. Then I had to help Undertaker as payment for bringing him with me to said Main Quest, by using Observe to find clues for a murder case. Said murderer was a perturbed man who thought he had to make a "sacrifice of four earths, a sun and a moon" to "open the doors of heaven". _Because of that_ , I had to attend a stupid ball, in which everyone thought I was married to Undertaker of all people. The butt of the joke? They thought Biscuit was my kid.

And all of this was just the icing of a cake made of blood, tears and despair.

Because not long after the ball, a creepy man I found at the ball, tried to kidnap Biscuit... with very obvious, gory consequences.

So... good news, the murderer was caught.

The stress I went through when I realized Biscuit was almost kidnapped didn't go away, though.

I think I became 20 years older after that.

The ice cream was not worth it.

I sighed, letting myself lean onto my coffin.

I need to get my mind off of things... I'm too stressed.

Oh. That's right. I could meditate.

I sat on my coffin and started meditating.

...

At some point I found my mind wandering.

I hadn't collected the Reward for the main Quest, yet.

I was a bit wary of the new mission it was supposed to give me.

Once things got a little less frantic, I would take the Reward. Right now I was too stressed.

And... My mind was worrying again.

Meditation. Not thinking.

...

...

' _[Meditation] has leveled up by one.'_

"What are you doing, dearie~?"

I opened my eyes, smiling softly.

"Meditation, it's very relaxing, you should try it." It was, I felt better already.

He blinked, smiling back. "Maybe later~"

"Are you done for today?"

"Yes, I am~"

"Are you going somewhere?"

"I don't think so~."

...

I blinked and crept closer to his face. Even before asking, I knew my puppy eyes were already on and working. "Can we go level up?"

He sighed, and fondly said: "as you wish~", as he petted my head, playing with my hair. He had that fond look on his face. His eyes uncovered, and they were soft and gentle, looking at me like I just did something very endearing, a small, soft smile accentuated his gentle look.

He chuckled bopping my nose.

"What are we hunting~?"

Mhmmm...

"Boss."

His smile widened into a smirk. "Going for the big one~? Very well~."

Entering a forest dungeon, we formed a party, and started defeating Ents.

Well, _I_ started defeating Ents. Undertaker looked. He just liked to come along in case I got more than I could chew.

I was proud to say I could defeat them in one hit.

' _You have gained 2200 exp points.'_

' _Your level has increased by one.'_

' _You have gained 2200 exp points.'_

' _You have gained 2200 exp points.'_

' _Your level has increased by one.'_

' _You have gained 2200 exp points.'_

It didn't take long for the boss to appear. The torture tortoise. It was a pain to kill: it had a lot of health, and had a very nasty habit.

I hit the soft head with Undertaker's sotoba before it could try to bite me. The best attack was the one the enemy wasn't expecting.

' _Boss Name: Earth Tortoise  
_ _Level: 32  
_ _Health: 384/720 Hp  
_ _Mana: 0Mp_

 _Str: 40  
_ _Vit: 100  
_ _Dex: 1  
_ _Int: 4  
_ _Wis: 10  
_ _Luck: 5_

 _Requisite to summon: Kill 4 Ents_

 _Slow moving, heavy hitting. They possess a hard shell that makes them impervious to most attacks. The flesh that is not covered by the shell is vulnerable.  
_ _When they have low health, they retreat inside their shell. The shell is softer underneath.'_

I made almost 300 of damage with the stick of doom, it was quite good. I had improved a lot since the last time.

Jumping on a leg to get to the head again, I whacked the tortoise on the head.

Tsk.

I was hoping for a critical, to kill it in that hit and avoid giving the tortoise the chance to hide in its shell.

Too late, though. As soon as it realized how low its health was, it quickly retreated inside.

"Undertaker!"

Undertaker, of course, was a cheating badass far above lowly humans like me, so he had no problem flipping the turtle on its back. He just pranced to the giant thing and casually kicked it.

I used that chance to defeat the turtle.

I could have kept hitting the turtle's shell until it broke but... that took a long time. It was terribly impractical. And I'm talking from experience, here.

Another option when the turtle gets like that is entering the shell through the holes where its legs go through... but last time I got bitten when I tried it, and it wasn't a nice experience.

' _You have gained 6000 exp points.'_

' _Your level has increased by one.'_

Alright. I had leveled up a few times.

Where should I put the points?

I found Dexterity to be incredibly useful...

But my wisdom was an uneven number... the only number of my stats that wasn't a multiple of 5. My wisdom was at 121 points, and it was rubbing me the wrong way.

But... If we're speaking about Mp Regeneration, I regenerate more Mp than I actually spend. If I actually used skills like the [Power strike] or even the [Magic binding] Skill, then it would be understandable.

...

But I don't.

…

I couldn't let my quirks decide for me. The wisdom is already good enough.

I can always use more Dexterity, on the other hand.

And luck...

I saw Undertaker picking up another vial and money, along with turtle skin, hiding it in his sleeves. He waved like he wasn't just caught stealing my things.  
He could keep that, anyways.

Luck was useful to get good items. Although I'm not sure what to do with them.  
I suppose I could sell them...

Maybe I should ask Undertaker about selling the things I find in these dungeons in the Underworld market.  
And while I was at it, see if I could find something that would aid me. Like... something that would give a boost to my stats when I wore them. Magic items. Was there such a thing as magic items?

...

I had strayed from my original train of thought. Where to spend my points?

Well, unless Undertaker is with me and willing to lend a hand, (which he usually didn't), Dexterity was my best bet to avoid attacks.  
Call me coward, but I don't like to be hit. It hurts.

Alright I think I will put... five points to luck, and the rest to Dexterity.

' _[Name]: Dalia  
_ _[Title]: Undertaker's little pet  
_ _[Race]: Human  
_ _Lvl 67  
_ _Exp: 22% (1500 Exp)  
_ _Hp: 1075 Hp  
_ _Mp: 1229 Mp_

 _Strength: 50  
_ _Vitality: 70 (50+20)  
_ _Dexterity: 90 (86+4)  
_ _Intelligence: 80  
_ _Wisdom: 121  
_ _Luck: 55_

 _Points: 0'_

Ah... yes. That will do nicely. And it leaves a nice 55 in Luck... not that I did it because I like the number 5, which I do... it's just a plus.  
I'm not crying over that 121, so I count that as a win.  
Even if I can barely look at it for long periods of time. It's… annoying.

"How about we go to another place~?"

"If you're suggesting the river dungeon, keep dreaming. The only way I will ever go back in there will be in my nightmares."

"Hi hi hi~. And the snow one?"

"With this cold? No way." I wasn't a fan of getting another cold. "Or are you perhaps interested in the Yuki-onna?" I teased.

He flicked my forehead with his fingers. "Of course not~. How about the hot one?"

"There's _lava_ in there." That should be all the explanation needed.

"Wasn't there a swamp Dungeon? And a Prairie Dungeon? Or do those also have something you don't like~?" He stuck his tongue, playfully.

"They are full of kick-ass monsters."

"I will help~"

I studied him for a moment. If he said he would help... then... I guess it was okay.

"Alright... but you have to _really_ help me, not just stand around until I start getting trashed."

He snickered, but nodded.

Swamp or Prairie?

In the swamp, there were crocodiles and giant snakes, and one could barely make out what was in front of their very eyes. But the Prairie has higher leveled monsters than the swamp.

...

If undertaker was really going to help... I guess we can go to the higher leveled one...  
I'm not really convinced, but I guess its fine...

Escaping from the Forest ID, I created a Prairie Instant Dungeon.  
I quickly changed the party's settings, so we would share experience.

Looking around I saw a few orcs and goblins. I even saw a troll all the way over there.

Only the Goblins were lower leveled than me, all the others had higher level.

' _Name: Goblin  
_ _Average Level: 62  
_ _Health: 952 Hp  
_ _Mana: 506 Mp_

 _Str: 58  
_ _Vit: 64  
_ _Dex: 92  
_ _Int: 34  
_ _Wis: 24  
_ _Luck: 38'_

This is a horrible idea. Undertaker wants me dead.

Sigh.

I'm not sure I can defeat the goblin... well, technically I should be able to defeat it on my own. But its dexterity is above mine... its strength is above mine, too...

Arghh why did I heed Undertaker's request?!

Alright, breathe, Undertaker said he would help...

I looked at Undertaker. He was making faces at the troll in the distance, completely ignoring the goblin we had near.  
Is he...? He's not going to...?

I blanched.

He's definitely going to anger the troll. Why does he have to pick a fight with the scariest, strongest monsters around?

Ah, of course.

Because he's a badass with no sense of danger, 'equal opponent' is a foreign concept to him. It's a curse.  
And _I'm_ the one cursed to team up with someone like that.

I gave up trying to pick an enemy, as Undertaker had started throwing things at the troll, who was... quite angry at him already.  
I didn't blame it, Undertaker could be infuriating.

I joined Undertaker against the troll, even if I didn't think I was really needed.

I prepared use the enhancement skill, as the troll was busy focusing on Undertaker, now would be a good time to do it uninterrupted.  
It wasn't necessary, though.

Undertaker swung his stick of doom and... Obliterated the troll. In one hit.

' _You have gained 3900 exp points'_

He turned to me blankly.

"I think I'm too strong~" He poked his own cheek bashfully, smiling widely.

...

What gave it away Sherlock?

He pouted. "Give me your frying pan."

What? "No."

"Please~?"

What did he need my frying pan for?

I ended up giving him my weapon. I was using one of his stick-of-dooms, anyway.  
He tested the weapon in his grasp. Then turned to the goblin I had been eyeing before.

He swiftly ran to the goblin, firmly and forcibly shoving the pan into the goblin's face. It reminded me of a tennis match, with the goblin's face being the ball.

The goblin went flying, as Undertaker's hair flowed majestically behind him.

He can even use my weapon better than I can. And with more style.

Miraculously, the goblin didn't die. I think this was the first time a monster didn't die after being hit by Undertaker.

Although... it was barely hanging on.

I approached the seemingly unconscious goblin and kicked it slightly. It turned to dust.

' _You have gained 3100 exp points.'_

I looked at Undertaker. He seemed pretty excited. In fact, he was so excited that he started running towards another troll. I didn't know if wail or sigh from exasperation.

I ran after him.

I barely had to do anything, Undertaker jumped around the troll, moving like a circus performer. I never knew the old man had it in him. I healed Undertaker, just in case, even if I didn't think he had been hit, he was like a slippery snake. He was surprisingly agile, even in those robes of his, they had to be restricting his movements in some way.

' _You have gained 3900 exp points'_

' _Your level has increased by one.'_

I had to admit it was very impressive. In fact, when he finally dusted the troll I started clapping.  
He deserved the praise, that had been awesome.

He bowed to an invisible audience I was a part of, having finished his performance.

"I feel young again~!" He stretched, smiling like a cat.

I stared biting my lip, trying not to laugh, even if I was already smiling. "You're lucky you didn't break your back, old man."

"Awww~ you would have brought me back, if I did break my back, wouldn't you~?"

"No way, you're heavier than a sack of potatoes. I would have left you here."

"So cruel~" Throwing his arms around my neck, he let himself fall against me. I struggled. I wasn't kidding when I said he was heavy.

I miraculously managed to keep us both standing, even if Undertaker wasn't really helping.

"Didn't you say you felt young again? Then stand straight, you lazy old man! I can't..." We are going to fall. I can't keep us both standing for much longer.

"Takeeer..."

"Hi hi hi~ what's wrong, dear~?"

I wasn't going to be the one to keep him upright. Not forever. If he kept being such an ass I might let him fall.

"Takeeer... Come on..." He finally started standing on his own, I could feel my poor arms and legs agonizing.

I looked up at him, reproaching. He smiled guilelessly. A true happy smile.

At that moment, I realized two fundamental things, at the exact same time.

First, Undertaker may smile most of the time, but only in moments like this, did he have this kind of smile, an unguarded, true smile.

And second, Undertaker's smile was...

Beautiful.


	17. Chapter 16

**Thank everyone for their reviews! I love reading every single one of them! I was a bit sick last week and Icouldn't answer your reviews, so I will do it in this chap! Hope you forgive me for not answering sooner!**

 **Reviews for Chapter 14:**

 **guadadominguez4: Thanks for reading it! I can't answer to that, it would be spoiler! xD Hold onto that theory, it will be at least four chapters until the big reveal!**

 **QueenofPenguania: I will! It makes me really happy to read that, I sometimes feel the same way when I read other stories, and I got really happy to know that my readers feel the same!**

 **steph557: I loved thinking about that possibility, I really entretained that possibility more than I should, but alas, the story has progressed in a different way. Don't worry though! It won't be long before Sebastian makes his appearance.**

 **Guest: You can't even start to imagine how happy that made me feel! Before starting to write this fanfic, I really though I was bad with words, too. So I can see the amount care you have put in writing that review, and I have to say that I will carry it close to my heart. Thank you.  
I will try to stay true to myself, so everyone who enjoys reading this, can still be surprised by, and explore with me a new side of the characters of Black Butler. **

**Reviews for Chapter 15:**

 **Guadadominguez4: I'm glad you liked it as much as I did! I really end up laughing a lot every time I re-read your reviews, so thank you! xD**

 **jj510: I'm afraid that when Dalia is involved, embarrasement for everyone is assured... but if it's not asking for much, I ask that you still give them a chance. My bf reads every chapter I have, before I upload them, and at first he wasn't sold on the idea, either.  
Now, he loves the ship so much that every chapter in which he sees something fluff between the two, he starts fanboying.  
If a relationship upgrade happens, they won't stop being friends, there will still be mischievous Undertaker and childish Dalia. I will make it as believable as I can. **

**The resident cat: Aww! Thanks! I know how you feel, though. I sometimes read reviews at University, before class, and I get this stupidly big smile on my face. Luckily classmate already know what's going on and ignore me.**

 **SmilingDragon67: Fluff Incoming!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler, Yana Toboso was the mastermind behind it all. I only own Dalia and any other Oc.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

I was warm.

Content.

I was in that half-asleep moment of innermost peace.

I didn't want to wake up.

But, that wasn't a problem, it was too early to rise, even for Undertaker.

Then why couldn't I go back to sleep?

I think... the only ones to blame for that were my current bedmates.  
As everyone seemed to use me as a warming pillow, I had the unfortunate fate of currently being poked by foreign limbs in at least three places.

I opened my eyes.

It was too early to get up, but I couldn't sleep like this.  
I could move.

I was being restricted by two bodies, but I could technically wiggle around or shove them away until I was comfortable enough. But it was... it was that feeling when a cat or dog falls sleep on you, no matter what important business you need to take care of, no matter how uncomfortable you are... you can't move.

I was feeling like that.

Biscuit was sleeping against my chest, with an elbow and knee painfully digging against my stomach and thigh.

Undertaker was trying to spoon me without touching Biscuit, with moderate success.

I had the pleasure of seeing his sleeping face. He seemed so... relaxed. He even had drool coming out of his mouth.

I couldn't help but wonder what happened to his face, to get that scar. It crossed his eye, it could have left him half blind.

His eyes fluttered open.

And then peacefully closed them, not yet awake.

I was aware of the moment he completely woke up not long after, as his eyes opened, looked at me, then at himself, and finally sprinted out of the bedroom.

...

What was that?

Biscuit moved little, digging their elbow in my stomach even _more_.

I had managed to get rid of one of the poking annoyances, but Biscuit was proving to be a nuisance.

Carefully moving their arm, so it wouldn't bother me anymore, I tried to maneuver their knee into another position.

They didn't even stir.

I sighed contently. Much better.

Closing my eyes, I prepared to finally go back to the sweet nothingness of dreamland.

I would have succeeded, too, if the door of the bedroom didn't open again, signaling Undertaker's return.  
Maybe he had to go to the bathroom. That would correlate with the origin of the sounds I had been distantly aware of.  
And it would justify why he had left in a hurry. So I think I just discovered that reapers really _do_ need to go to the bathroom. That or he was desperate to bathe.

He didn't even bother getting under the covers, simply let himself fall on the bed, and consequently, on us.

Trying to kick him off proved useless.

"...off..." damn, if I was getting awake enough to speak, I don't think I will be able to go back to sleep.

He crawled next to me, trying to get back under the sheets.

Grr... He was all cold now. He did have a tendency to be colder, but this is ridiculous. His hair was also wet… that would explain how he got this cold. So he was bathing... damn. I will need to continue my investigation.

"No..." I tried to kick him out, to no avail.

In the end he went back to spooning me and I had to give up.

Biscuit had slept like a log through all of that.  
Turning to them, I had to make sure they were actually alive, they were sleeping like the dead.

No, Biscuit was alive, just a very heavy sleeper.

I turned to Undertaker again. He hadn't gone back to sleep either. I eyed the multiple scars that ran through his face, his neck, his hand, his chest...

I touched his cheek.

He blinked, and his ears went slightly red, but didn't complain.

I touched his scar with my thumb.

I had a few scars myself, so I wasn't disgusted or repulsed by his.  
Still, I worried. That had to have hurt.

Did they still hurt? Mine didn't, but they were almost nothing, compared to his.

I wanted to say something, to ask something, but I didn't know what or how.

Was it really my place to ask?

...

Every scar I had was special in some way, and I could remember the history behind almost all of them. Most of them.

They were... very private, something that had managed to permanently imprint itself into my skin...

...

I wasn't going to ask. If he felt like sharing the story, he would, and I would listen. But I wouldn't pry.  
"Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore" He had closed his eyes at some point, maybe trying to go back to sleep? He opened them again when I talked.

...

"I'm glad..."

I didn't know why, but I kissed his scarred eye, the one he could have lost. I blamed being still half asleep for my boldness.

I was glad it wasn't serious, that it didn't hurt anymore.

It looks like it could have been much worse.

"I'm glad."

I'm glad you're here with me.

* * *

' _Meditation has leveled up by one.'_

Alright...  
I'm ready.

This is the most crucial moment. Hour zero.  
I petted Tofu, gaining courage from the action.

I was determined, I wouldn't back down.

I looked straight ahead, where my opponent stood, unmoving.  
Said opponent was the window that would give me my Major Quest Rewards.  
It was time to take on the Quest that would (possibly) let me return to my original time. To Kala. To Kim.

I took a deep breath. I can do this, no matter how much dread I feel.

What if it asked something impossible?  
What if none of the Rewards is going back to my time? What if this isn't the way to return to my dimension?  
What if I was doing everything wrong?  
With one hand, I smothered Tofu against my chest, while the other raised towards the Quest Window, towards the collect button, that would give me my next Quest.

Ignoring all my fears, I gently tapped the button. If I didn't do this, I would never know for sure, no matter how much I worried and thought.  
This was why I had decided to finally face this. I had been thinking and worrying so much, that I hadn't been able to relax as I had wanted.

Don't even talk to me about the Ball, that wasn't relaxing... it was horrible.

I almost jumped when I got a new alert... although, I should have expected it, as it was the new Quest, the source of my current worries.

' _Your level has increased by one.'_

 **'Major New Quest! [Behind it all]**

 **Quest Requisites:  
** **-Kill Zephyr the second.**

 **Quest Rewards:  
** **-Access to [Tutorial]  
** **-90000 exp points.'**

...

Staring blankly at the alert for what seemed forever, I took a deep breath...  
And promptly ran to my coffin, startling Undertaker in the process, and jumping in it, hiding from the world.

"What happened, dear~?"

"..."

"Dear~?"

A light knock on my coffin was heard. I ignored it. I was too busy NOT thinking. And trying to fuse with Tofu, apparently, as I was hugging it with so much force that I feared it would break.

I wasn't crying yet, but I felt like the dam was about to burst, so it wouldn't take much for the waterworks to start.

The coffin opened slightly, letting in a beam of light inside the dark coffin.  
I preferred the darkness. At least that would hide my ugly crying face.  
Not that I was crying, but I knew I would be in short order, if I didn't manage to calm myself down.

A pair of chartreuse eyes peeked in my coffin.

"Dalia?"

"I will never be able to return home..." shut up Dalia, you're just making the tears harder to control. You can explain this after you're not about to cry like a baby.

He has seen you cry enough already.

He blinked, eyes softening, and slowly whispered, like I was a startled animal or a child in the middle of a tantrum. "Why don't we get out of this coffin, and you tell me what happened, mhmm~?"

I shook my head.

I don't feel ready.

Far from becoming disheartened by my refusal, he kept talking, calmly. "Alright~... do you want me to stay with you?" I thought for a second.

I wanted. I really wanted him to stay. But I didn't want to impose... he probably had things to do... like run a shop.

Before I could shook my head, he crawled into the coffin. "Seeing as you didn't answer I will take that as a yes~ hi hi~"

No... Damn treacherous tears. Why do you betray me like this? I had been doing so well.

I hugged him as strongly as I had been hugging Tofu. I had to slightly relocate the toy, or it would end up uncomfortably digging into someone. Mainly me.

I cried against his chest, I don't know for how long.

He sometimes said something funny, he would tell a joke, and I usually ended up shakily laughing, as I was still crying, at the most horrible of them. I was a sucker for bad jokes. He noticed I laughed the most at the specially bad puns, and of course, he told more.

I only know that, once I didn't have any more tears to cry, and my sobs were starting to subside, Undertaker asked if I wanted to talk about it.

"I... got a new major Quest... that... sniff... let's me return..." that was obvious. The 'access to [Tutorial]' was clearly referencing my world, as it had when it brought me here.

Wiping my tears, he softly asked "Then what is the problem, dear~?"  
The motherflipping problem is that in exchange is asking me to kill someone!

Not just monsters, who had dubious awareness and consciousness, but a person, not a very nice one, and someone whose face I felt like smashing, but someone living and thinking all the same!

I couldn't kill dogs! Why did the game think I would be able to kill a person?!

"It's asking me to kill someone... I don't want to... I won't." And if I don't kill, I won't be able to return home. So excuse me if I'm crying, but I feel entitled to cry, when I just discovered that, no matter how much I tried, I would never be able to return to my friends unless I killed someone.

I was stranded here forever.  
All because I was too soft, and put an asshole's well-being above my own happiness.

Undertaker softly petted my hair, saying nothing.

We were silent for some time, my tear ducts surprising me by producing even more tears, when I had been sure I had no more tears to cry.

Finally, Undertaker crawled out of the coffin, dragging me along, my hand in his.

We went to the kitchen, where he produced some cookies that, for once, weren't bone-shaped, instead they attempted to be humanoid-shaped. Attempted. Undertaker wasn't very good at making new things, but he tried again and again until they were good.

"Why do they look like a... sniff...deformed Dwarf?"

He made an offended sound, whining. "It's Father Christmas!"

I looked at him, blankly.

"You know... Father Christmas... Sinter Klaas... Santa Claus...? Brings gifts to children?" With every word the incredulity of his voice increased. He poked my cheek with every word, too.

Ah! That... I knew of Santa Claus. But… I had never heard of Father Christmas. But I should have realized anyways. I mean… if you think about it, it's obvious.

"Ah... Yes, I know..." I looked at the cookie. "This looks nothing like Santa Claus."

He made an aggravated sound. "It's a reinterpretation!"

...

I looked at Undertaker.

...

Then at the cookie.

...

"Reinterpretation, huh?"

"What's with that face?!" He got his sleeves up in the air, waving them around in aggravation.

"Nothing~" I couldn't hide the smile that lightly pulled at the corners of my mouth. It was funny, when our roles got reverted, and I got to tease Undertaker.  
It didn't happen often, but every time it happened, it made my day.

"So... you celebrate Christmas?"

He blinked. "Who doesn't celebrate Christmas?"

Uh…

...

I looked away.

Undertaker got really close, digging daggers to the side of my head. "You celebrate Christmas, don't you?"

Uh... well...

More or less?

"Yes...?" Uh... No.

The glare increased.

"You are a horrible liar, little Lia. It doesn't suit you. Don't lie, sweetheart~. Why don't you celebrate Christmas?"

Uh... well...

"I... _did_ celebrate Christmas... when I lived with my parents... or... well, they did..." I muttered that last part under my breath, but I think undertaker heard, as he frowned, eyes narrowing.

"It's just that... after..." after I... When had I...? I can't remember the exact moment when I stopped living with my parents, and started living alone, it was... sometime after Kaito came back...  
I don't really want to think about it. "Well... It's just... there's no point in celebrating Christmas alone..."

Undertaker blinked, nodding gravely.  
He closed his eyes, thinking. He even put his hand under his chin, in a thinking pose, making thinking noises.

"Alright! It's decided then!" He startled me, when he suddenly got all excited, waving his arms around. "We will make this Christmas the best you ever had~!  
He won't have to work very hard.

Wait a second, what?

"We need... Christmas cards... a goose… or a turkey? No goose, definitely... gifts... humm... Yes, why not, we should also get a tree, as little as I like the Queen, this is a special occasion, and so it doesn't matter if we take a little inspiration from her husband..."

He started muttering to himself.

Did I hear that correctly? A goose?  
Not Questioning.

"Eh... There's no need to... really, it's fine."

He turned to me, unexpectedly angry. He waved his sleeves around angrily in front of my face. "No, no! Christmas is a time in which the family gets together!" ... something I would never be able to do... "So we need to celebrate the proper way! I'm not going to let you mope around on Christmas Day!"

I stared at the fuming mortician. I felt like crying. Or laughing. Hadn't I cried enough already? Maybe I should laugh. But then Undertaker may think I went insane. Not that he has any room to talk.  
Maybe I could do both as a sort of compromise.

Christmas time is a time dedicated to family...

I had no family. At least not anymore. Not even back at my own world. Only Kala could be considered part of my family. And Biscuit. And maybe Kim. And Undertaker.  
Was I too bold to consider him my family?

He... was the only one I could trust... he was the only one I had...  
He and Biscuit... were my family now.

I had to get used to it.

I would never kill, least of all for such a selfish reason as wanting to go to my own dimension.

...

I wanted to hug Undertaker, who was busy preaching about the wonders of Christmas, but...  
But nothing. If I want to become braver I have to take initiative.

I went for a hug, which had the added perk of shutting him up. Not that it bothered me, his rambling. It was cute. He had a really interesting way of talking, gesticulating wildly when he was excited about something.

"Thank you... but, I really don't need any of that..." I took a deep breath, trying to fight off a blush, I was about to say something very corny, but I really felt that way. "I'm fine as long as I'm with you." And Biscuit. But it wasn't like Biscuit would allow us to leave without them, so they were a given.

Undertaker slowly returned the hug.

I tried to peek under the layers of hair that currently hid the mortician's face, but as he was burrowing his face against my neck, I only saw red ears. I narrowed my eyes at him. I hope he isn't laughing. It may have been corny, but it was completely heartfelt. He better not be laughing.

I didn't hear him laugh, so if he was, at least he was making an actual effort not to be noticed, by hiding his face and not making a sound. In that case, I might overlook that, as he was genuinely trying.

Just this once.

...

Well...

This is becoming slightly uncomfortable. I think it's been far too long for a normal hug. Even for a comfort hug like this one.  
But it didn't seem like Undertaker was willing to release me, yet.

I cleared my throat.

He finally let me go, muttering something I didn't catch. After some more seconds, in which we awkwardly looked at each other, he finally smirked, returning to his Christmas planning.

Apparently he forgot everything I said before my corny line.

Sighing, I let him do whatever he wanted. It's not like I could convince him, anyways.

I looked at him, wildly gesturing, describing what we would do, sometimes going silent, before bashfully muttering that "it was a secret" and that I would find out when it became time, playfully tapping my nose with his finger.

He seemed quite happy to plan for this.  
I wouldn't want to spoil his fun.

I should have been expecting a Christmas celebration, I honestly shouldn't have been this surprised.

I took one of the 'Santa cookies', even if they looked nothing like Santa.  
Munching on it, I looked tiredly at Undertaker.

Christmas, huh?

Catching Undertaker's eyes, I smiled.

I'm looking forward to it.

* * *

It was far too early to be up.

Undertaker apparently didn't know that, as he was currently in the kitchen, baking something that, for once, weren't cookies. Nor biscuits.  
And it wasn't bone-shaped. Nor Santa/Dwarf-shaped.

I think it's a cake, but I don't think it's anyone's birthday.

...

Wasn't the Phantomhive's twins' birthday around this time? But it had already passed, of that I was sure... I think their birthday had been... the tenth? around that time.  
Was it Undertaker's birthday? During this year he hadn't celebrated his birthday.

I had sneaked into the kitchen, looking at my savior add what looked to be eggs into a mix of butter, sugar and flour.  
I stayed there, in the doorway, looking at Undertaker mix ingredients in a bowl.

I was tired, Undertaker had gone to sleep a little later than usual, as he went to buy the ingredients he was now using, and I hadn't been able to sleep until he came back into bed.

Now, he had sneaked out early in the morning to do this, and I, after being woken up by a nightmare to find him gone, I hadn't been able to go back to sleep.  
So I was watching him work.  
I'm not sure if he has even noticed me.

He stopped momentarily to smirk, ears getting slightly red, before continuing his work.

I'm starting to believe the ears getting red are completely unrelated to his laughing.  
Maybe he was sick after all.

"Enjoying the view, dear~?" Well, it seems he _had_ noticed me after all.

Was I enjoying the view? Nah, I was too tired for that. Although, I have to admit there was something fascinating about seeing Undertaker work. It was... really mesmerizing.  
"You were gone..." I was a bit sleepy still, yawns escaping me from time to time.

"Sorry dear, but I'm making you a surprise Christmas cake~, hi hi hi~ shhh, don't tell Dalia."

I smiled. "She won't know from me."

He snickered.

Getting a lock of hair out from in front of his face, he accidentally smeared his cheek with butter and... Whatever else the mix he was making had.  
I walked to him, he didn't seem to mind the smeared mixture on his cheek. Maybe he hadn't noticed.  
Wiping his cheek with my index finger, I brought the finger to my lips, tasting the mix. It wasn't bad. It tasted better than it looked. Undertaker was really good at baking things.

"It's good."

He didn't answer, he was a bit busy trying to hide his red cheeks. I'm starting to believe he is really sick.  
If he really has a fever, he shouldn't be up making cakes. At least not by himself. "Do you need help?"

He shook his head. "No need to, dear. I'm perfectly able to do it by myself~"  
Unconvinced, I put a hand over his forehead. He wasn't warm... then again, he never was...

How could I recognize a Shinigami's fever? Maybe it was the opposite of a normal fever? As he was usually really cold...  
But, what if being always cold is an Undertaker-thing and not a shinigami-thing?  
Obviously, I'm not the most knowledgeable in supernatural illnesses, I hope he's not terminally ill...  
... I hope he's not dying.

The mortician cleared his throat, turning back to his cake and away from my hand. I just looked, watching him work.  
It was... mesmerizing, watching him move about, he knew exactly where to go and what to do. It was like watching a dance.

As my mind drifted, I couldn't help but think about Kala. What would happen to her? And Kim. What had happened after I left?

Closing my eyes I rested the back of my hand against my mouth, preventing any sound from escaping.

I had been a horrible friend. I should have told Kim that I suspected the possibility of being moved somewhere. That way she would have been prepared.  
It had been almost a year since I came here... had she moved on? She probably did, she wasn't like me. She was strong.

Had she kept Kala? I hope she had taken care of her...  
I was aware Kala wouldn't live forever, but I had always wanted her to be happy, for the rest of the life she had left.  
I knew she would one day become old and die, while I still had a lot to live... I thought I had been prepared to lose her someday.  
I wasn't prepared for that day to come so soon, or in this form.

Kim... I would miss her. But out of the two of us, she had always been the strong, independent one. She had an easier time making friends. I shouldn't be too worried about her.

I still felt guilty.

For so long I had resented Kaito for leaving so suddenly and inexplicably, without a goodbye or explanation. Now I had done exactly the same.  
It was true that I hadn't known for sure, that I hadn't exactly _decided_ to leave, but...  
To me, all of that sounds like very pitiful excuses.

I had suspicions, I should have been less introverted, more trusting, more open... I should have shared everything with Kim.  
It was frustrating. I had shared more with Undertaker in the year we have been living together, than with Kim in...  
I can't remember for how long we have been living together.

And that reminds me.

I can't remember how we started living together, why?

Right before I was dumped in this world... I had suspicions that I had been living in a Dungeon.  
But that was... stupid. There were only monsters, in Dungeons. I had been too nervous, too suspicious, too untrusting.  
But... I remember clearly. Kim's room had smelled like new...

It was stupid but... there was a certain smell objects held for some time, after being recently bought from the store. Her things were all suspiciously new...  
And I don't know why.

It could have been that she had bought something new? But that would explain why _some_ things smelled new, not _all_ of her things.

From my memory, which I knew wasn't good, all of Kim's things had been in my house for as long as Kim herself, so for them to smell anything resembling remotely new, would imply that she hadn't been living with me for as long as I remembered. Which raised all kinds of wild suspicions in my already confused mind.  
This is leading me nowhere. And I will never be able to find out the truth. I was torturing myself needlessly.

A hand rested on my forehead, a finger massaging right between my eyebrows, dispelling a frown that had made itself a home there.

Opening my eyes revealed an unusually serious Undertaker.

He didn't say anything. I'm not sure he knew what I was thinking, but considering I have been moping around since I discovered I had to kill to go back, I'm sure he has a pretty good idea.

I sighed.

Even now, I was being a bother. Undertaker liked laughter, having fun, playing around... and these days I look more like a ghost haunting the shop than a human being.

I closed my eyes again. I don't think I can look at him for much longer without crying. My nose was cold, my eyes were glassy, and the only thing preventing the dam from bursting was the back of my hand over my mouth, and shame of being seen.

He was all happy, celebrating Christmas, and here I am, ruining his fun.

The hand over my forehead slipped to the back of my head, bringing me forward and against Undertaker's forehead.  
His other hand rested against my cheek, fingers waiting for the inevitable tears to fall, to wipe them away.

I opened my eyes, looking at his soft eyes, and mumbling apologies.

He was too nice. I don't deserve it. Why is he always this nice?  
"Why...?"

He made a noise, gently urging me to explain.  
"Why... are you so good to me...?"

He blinked, smile momentarily disappearing. The time in which his smile was gone felt like an eternity, and I felt bad for making him stop smiling, even if, in reality, it had barely been a second.

"You remind me of someone~."

I blinked. And smiled, a little shakily, but a smile all the same. It was ironic.  
He reminded me of Kaito. I reminded him of someone.

I tried chuckling, but I think I failed horribly. Undertaker ended up chuckling for the both of us. Although, now that I think about it, I think he was chuckling at my attempts at chuckling.

The hand at the back of my head moved to my other cheek. Now both of his hands were over my cheeks.  
I put my own hands over his cheeks, if he thinks of pulling at my cheeks I will pay him back tenfold.

As I looked at my hands over his cheeks, I slowly caressed the scar across his face, examining it. It was smooth. Something quite sharp had done that... but the edges didn't seem as regular as the ones a normal blade would leave.  
I wasn't an expert on scars, but... I had a few of my own.

I looked at his eyes, they were looking at me very intensely. Too intensely, in fact. I found myself unable to hold his gaze, and I quickly averted my eyes to his hair.  
His wild, silver hair. I really loved it.  
Not only because it reminded me of Kaito's own silver hair, but also because... it was just... irresistible, like a magnet.  
It was soft, but messy, shaggy, but it flowed like water after I brushed it. It seemed made of silver strings. It was... simply adorable.  
I always liked long hair, but was never allowed to have it myself.

I peeked at his eyes again, they were still looking at me, there was something in there I couldn't recognize. It made me slightly uncomfortable.

I looked at his ears. They were red, again, but not much. It could be from the cold, now that I think about it, I believe that, if my nose wasn't already frozen, it would also be red. So I shouldn't worry too much if his ears get red.

His ear piercings... they were... unusual. At least in this time. In my own time they were quite common...  
How had he gotten them? I think Vilvent also had small earrings... but not piercings... earrings can be explained. Piercings shouldn't really be that popular in this time... now again, Undertaker wasn't really one to wear what is "popular".

I looked at his eyes, still looking at me, my own eyes slipped and started looking at his face. He was pale, really pale. His mouth had that lovely curve that made it seem like he was always smiling. Maybe because he was always smiling.

...

Why was he still looking at me?

"Didn't you have a cake to cook?"

"Hi hi hi~ it's in the oven, that's why I was up this early, in six hours it will be done, for now we can go back to bed~..." I shook my head.  
I... don't think I will be able to go back to sleep...  
But I'm so tired...

Removing a hand from Undertaker's cheek, I rubbed my eyes, yawning.

Undertaker's eyebrow raised, disbelieving.  
"You look exhausted, my dear~. Why don't you go to sleep~? I will be there~."

I shook my head again. "I'm tired... but I won't be able to sleep..." I just had a nightmare, it's very unlikely I will be able to go back to sleep.

"Why don't we try anyways~? If you don't try, how will you know~?"  
That... was a good advice. One I didn't feel like heading.

I shook my head again, attempting to hug Undertaker. I needed some attention.  
Thankfully, he didn't fight the embrace, and even returned it, making me sit on his lap, as he sat on one of the kitchen chairs.  
He patted me on the back, as he mumbled things I heard but didn't listen to. I just listened to the sound of his voice.

Closing my eyes I tried to stop thinking. That proved to be harder than expected.  
I could meditate, but I was... not feeling well.  
I didn't want to do anything.

Undertaker was a Grim Reaper, wasn't he? He had probably lived a lot. How did he deal with death? How did he deal with losing someone important?

I had seen death before... but... I had accepted it as a part of life, even when it had hurt, to lose those people, I knew it would happen eventually. That didn't make it hurt any less, but... time usually heals the outside of the wound, and as long as you don't go poking at it, it's fine.

I guess... I might as well consider everyone in my dimension dead. I will never see Kim and Kala again. In a sense, it's like they died.

They probably thought me dead, too. After a year of being gone, they probably gave up looking for me. Kim would cry, confused about what happened, and after some time, she would give up, and think me dead.

Kala... wouldn't know what happened to me, but after being gone for a year, she would forget me too.  
She will never be all happy, excitable and crying from happiness about my return, licking and jumping at me. Because I would never return. I was trapped here forever.

I didn't deal with death very well, I usually ended up unfeeling, numb. I wasn't very good at showing my feelings... but... when someone died... I simply couldn't feel anything about it.

I was sad that I wouldn't see them again, but... I felt like I should react more...

"What did an ocean say to another~?" Eh?

Oh, I think I heard that one! How did it go...?  
"Nothing~, they just waved~. Hi hi hi~"

A smile found itself in my face. I couldn't help but add. "I sea what you did there."

His smile and eyes widened, snickering as we wiggled around. With such a positive reaction, I couldn't help but add: "I shore did." His giggles kicked up into a full blown laugh, and I had to put my hand over Undertaker's mouth, least he wakes every neighbor we have.

My giggles, while more subdued, didn't stop until Undertaker calmed down, and he started caressing my cheek.

I was a little uncomfortable. Why was he looking at me like that? Was it because of that person I reminded him of?  
I tenderly moved his hair aside, exposing his eyes a little better. That look... made me uncomfortable. Why?

I examined closely his face, his half lidded, almost sleepy, eyes, the small smile, the chuckles...  
I ignored the nose tapping, he did that to tease me.

Why did it make me uncomfortable? I... don't think anyone has ever looked at me like that.  
If I had to compare it with anything, it would be a look I had, reserved for Kala, when we were in the park, and I was looking at her, unable to look away.

I tilted my head, confused.

I don't understand. I sometimes had trouble identifying others' expressions and emotions. Right now, I'm starting to believe I will never understand.  
Right as I thought I was improving in identifying and making my own expressions, I got faced against this. How do I describe it? How to classify it? What is the emotion behind this expression?

It makes me uncomfortable, because I don't understand.

...

I'm not sure this is the right moment, but I have another joke. "Why was six afraid of seven?"

Undertaker blinked. "Why~?"

"Because seven _ate_ nine." I might have stressed the 'eight/ate' a little more than necessary, but I don't think he minds. Considering he's wiggling and kicking his legs while laughing, I'm pretty sure he doesn't.

I yawned again, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. He giggled.  
"That tickles~"

I hummed.

After a moment of silence, the absent humming became a song. I wasn't singing, I was a horrible singer, I had no delusions, but I hummed a song I made up, long ago. It was a lullaby.

A lullaby about a sailor who looked for adventure across the sea.

Mhm-mhmm mhm.

"It's beautiful"  
Ah... I hadn't forgotten he was here, of course, but I hadn't expected him to say anything.

I was thankful he couldn't see my blush.  
"Thanks..."

...

I yawned again.

At some point I started dozing off, but I awoke when I felt myself being picked up.

"What...?"

"Sorry, did I wake you~?" No...

I shook my head.

Undertaker put me in my coffin, but I didn't let him go. As cold as he was, it was colder when he left.  
He had to climb in the coffin with me, or cut his hair. The option was clear.

* * *

I was woken by insane giggling. I growled.  
The giggles died down, but came back what felt like seconds later.

I reluctantly opened my eyes.  
I was faced with the cover of my book, the one I gave to Undertaker.

Shoving the book against the face of the one reading it, Undertaker finally moved the book out of the way. I was faced with amused green eyes.

"He he he~ I have to say you really surprised me, dear~... it's not often that I bother re-reading a book, but I'm glad I did~" Is that why he was laughing like that? Maybe the book was a bad idea after all. I need my sleep.

I growled again, after a yawn that made me feel like my jaw was about to break.  
The reaper blinked. "Oh~? Sorry, did I wake you~?"

"Yes."

He snickered, going back to his book. He didn't look very concerned.

I closed my eyes, attempting to go back to sleep.  
I let out a surprised cough when Undertaker snapped the book closed, shoving it against my face.

Grrr... Does he have anything against sleeping?  
"You know... there is a thing... that we humans call 'sleep' and it's really important to us, so please let me partake in such vital activity..."

"Hi hi hi~ but I'm so excited~ it's almost Christmas! And I found quite the incredible gift~ one I wasn't expecting~"

...

Did he find my secret stash of gifts I had saved for him? Impossible, they were in my inventory.  
I was thinking of gifting him the scarf that had the Sheep and Tom the Tomcat, for Christmas.

I yawned.

"Perfect..."

"Aww~ come on~, aren't you going to ask~?"

"No."

"It has to do with your book~."

"Very nice..."

A pair of arms sneaked around me, a pouting reaper got really close to my face. "Show some curiosity, dear~"

"Curiosity killed the cat." Wasn't there a robot called Curiosity? I hope it stays far away from any cats.

"Satisfaction brought it back~"

"That is physically impossible. Either the cat is dead or it isn't, in any case no amount of satisfaction could have... ahh... I'm too tired for this..."

"Hi hi~ what if it was possible?"

"Are we still talking about cats? Or gifts?"

The reaper ignored me. "What if you could bring back the dead?"

...

That... came out of nowhere, right? Or was I too sleepy? In any case, it seemed like a serious question.  
I thought about it.

Uh… "Bad."  
He blinked. " _Bad_?" He said it like he doubted I knew the meaning of the word.  
"Yes, Bad."  
He frowned. "Why?"  
"It's... selfish."  
"I'm afraid you will have to explain further, dear~. I really want to know why."

I sighed.

"It's..." A yawn escaped me. "... let me think... when someone dies... it's like... they stop forming part of this world. It's true that their loved ones are sad, and would want them back, but..." I tsk'ed. It was hard to explain.

"Imagine dying... and then being resurrected somehow, it's like... the world has moved on, it can't wait for you, it keeps moving, and... the more time the dead person has been gone... the less they will recognize their surroundings... it's like..." I looked at Undertaker. "...Being shoved into another world."

...

I tried to justify myself further as, while he seemed to have caught on what I was trying to say, and even nodded to show his agreement, he didn't seem completely sold.

"It's normal to wish things were different, to try to save a loved one, even if they are dead... but the world just… can't wait. And that's not even touching the fact that after being dead for some time, the body experiences damage that we cannot see. What if the person was alive again, but they weren't themselves anymore? Would that be living? Would it be a favor for their loved ones, or a curse, prolonging their suffering, not letting them move on?"

...

I was aware not everyone shared my point of view, I had been called heartless before, but...  
I preferred letting the dead rest. Life is taxing enough.

"We can agree to disagree, then. I, for my part, still prefer being selfish." His face was dead serious. He probably had lost quite a lot of people.  
I looked at the chain of lockets he always carried around.

The mortician followed my gaze, and he immediately brightened.

"It's my treasure~." He sat up, making me slip into his lap. He took the chain in his hands showing me the lockets. "You can look, but don't touch~…Alright, you can touch, but be careful~"

They must have been very important people to Undertaker, if he was carrying a lock of their hair. Well, at least three had only a drawing, if it had hair, I couldn't see it. There were four males, three females.

I softly caressed one that read 'Alex B'. Another read 'Claudia P'. From a first glance that seemed like the most recent one... either that one, or 'Gilbert D's. I couldn't see very well, and when I tried to get closer to read it better I got almost bitten. Stupid reaper, I wasn't going to do anything strange.

Undertaker snickered.

No, now that I look at it better, I think Gilbert's death date was "1864", not "1882", I had honestly worried for a second there. I had found Undertaker at the start of 1883. I wouldn't want to have been a chore while he was mourning.

'Claudia P's had been... quite some time ago. A few decades at the very least. "1866" if I was reading correctly.

I looked at the lockets. They had wildly different hair colors and hair styles. I saw one or two that had curly hair, some had wavy hair... one was put into an infinity symbol, but I think it had straight hair.

I tried imagining the people that owned the hair.

'Alex B', the redhead with curly hair, would probably be a passionate spitfire. They probably made Undertaker laugh a lot with their rants.  
'Oliver A' had pale hair. He would probably be an indecisive person. Serious, but trustworthy.  
'Emile C' would probably be a French, happy-go-lucky girl. Always smiling and going to an adventure.  
'Claudia P' would probably be a serious, very dignified person. She probably made scathing remarks that would send Undertaker into a fit of laughter.  
'Molly G'... was probably a kind, soft-spoken girl. She probably liked flowers, but couldn't stand the smell.  
'Gilbert D'. From his drawing he seemed to be very religious, or at least he held very strong beliefs. He probably was a very comforting person to be around.  
'Harry E'... I don't know what to think of him. I don't think I like him very much. He was probably a handsome, self-entitled brat.

"What's with those funny faces~?" Undertaker started poking my cheek, trying to get the information.

I blushed. Great.

Here I was, thinking bad things about one of his important people. "Just thinking..." I probably could have asked Undertaker more about the people from the lockets.

Although, at this point, I think I would be disappointed if I find they are not like I thought. Except with Harry, or Henry, already forgot their name. Then I would feel guilty for thinking bad of him.

But that didn't mean I couldn't ask questions. Wasn't there a game like that? About asking questions about people you don't know? Maybe not.  
"Did any of them own a cookie shop?"

He blinked, thinking. "Nope~ But Harry's grandparents had owned a bakery~."

Great. Henry. Out of all of them, it had to be him.

"Did..." Eh... "Emile" It's the only name I can remember. "Ever buy..." mhmm, I think this is a harder game for me than for Undertaker. In fact he seemed highly amused at my attempts to come up with a question. "Did she ever buy or make fried fish?"

"Well~ probably, Yes. Hi hi hi~"  
I scrunched my nose. Blergh.

"And for your information, Emile was male~ hi hi hi"

... Oh  
Let's... let's forget that ever happened.

Undertaker giggled, but let me get away with not acknowledging my slip up.

"Mhmm... did... Gilbert ever ride a horse?"

"He did go on a carriage, but he was scared of big animals. Shhh~ don't tell I told you~ it's a secret~"

I giggled. "Mhmmm... did Claudia... ever cross-dress at some point?"

Undertaker's eyes widened, laughing so hard he fell back into the coffin, clutching his stomach.

"Hey!"

He was gone. Seems like our little game came to an end. The mortician wasn't in any state to keep talking. I doubted he was even breathing.

After his giggles finally died down, he just laid there doing nothing. I tried to see if he was indeed breathing. I couldn't feel a pulse. Then again, I was probably doing it wrong.

"Did you kick the bucket?"

"Hi hi hi~ Not yet~"

"Shame"  
Mad cackling was my only answer.

I could understand why Undertaker would want to bring these people back to life. They were important to him.

Realistically speaking, though, it wouldn't be a favor for anyone. It had been decades, everything they knew wouldn't be the same. They probably wouldn't be the same, either.

"What do you think happens after 'the end'?" Eh? What end are we talking about?  
Is he referencing my book?

"Roll credits." I got a poke at my side. "Ouch"

"I was serious, dear~."

"I was, too. Roll credits. Then a small after credits scene. Then, if there's any, a second part. More credits. And more after credits. Third part. And so on, over and over. If there isn't a continuation, there's more movies. Another story. With another possible second part. And lots of credits, they are very boring."

I was suddenly flipped, becoming trapped between the bottom of the coffin and Undertaker's body. His face got closer to mine, our noses almost touching, he was smiling.  
In a very scary, creepy way.

"I was talking about _death_. Death is the end. But what lies beyond it? Is there anything more to it? What happens after that end? The body and brain, containing the memories, are left behind to rot, and then? Where goes the soul? Why can't the body move and live without it? What would happen if I dared to..." he brought a hand to a lock of my hair, and although his hand was completely tense and it made me think he was about to do something violent, he surprised me when he lightly grabbed it, playing with it between his fingers with unexpected care.

I vaguely remember him talking about something similar.

With all of his questions, he doesn't really seem to be looking for an answer.  
"Do ask dear~. I'm really _dying_ to tell you." Maybe because he already had an answer.

Why do I need to know? I mean… what had brought on this conversation?

Right now, I'm pretty sure Undertaker is not completely right in the head. Of course I had always suspected, but it was... strange, knowing for sure that he was off of his rockers. It was a little bit scary, considering I was trapped.  
I had always known he could crush me like a grape, but... this was the first time he had actually looked like he may actually try to.

"I would like to say that the soul somehow goes somewhere, but that's not what you want to hear, is it?" His smile, quite creepy before, widened, showing teeth. Scary.

I think this is the first time I have been scared by Undertaker since our first few meetings. Since he saved me from the streets.

"Wha-"I gulped. "What happens when you..." I wasn't sure what he wanted me to ask, but apparently it wasn't necessary as he interrupted me with a bark.

Not a real, dog-bark, a human one.

"Monsters!" His smile was very wide, and quite unsettling "Those precious living dead of yours~. I was quite surprised, you know~? They are so much alike~. But I know you don't like those... 'Zombies', so I gave my creations another name~. Using fake memories I extended their cinematic record, making them believe that life hadn't ended for them. I call them 'Bizarre Dolls' as they are something not dead, but not alive either."

…

Alright... I understood absolutely nothing about cinematic records, but if he had wanted me to like those... bizarre dolls of his, he did good in changing the name... but did horrible when it came to the introduction.

Right now I was scared witless of Bizarre Dolls. And I hadn't seen them yet, I just noticed how mad its creator is. Which makes me fear what these "Bizarre Dolls" are capable of.

I shakily raised a hand to Undertaker's cheek, who seemed lost in his own world.

He blinked, when he noticed the hand softly caressing his cheek, his grin diminishing and becoming less crazed. I said nothing. He looked at me, probably realizing for the first time our position.  
His ears turned red, eyes widening. I had been more worried about his mental health than our position, and that hasn't really changed.

He attempted to get off, but made a tangle out of our legs.  
He ended up kicking me.

"…Sorry." A whispered apology that I had almost missed.  
Was he apologizing for the kick, or for scaring me half to death?

"It's alright." well... no it's not. "You owe me."

Undertaker blinked, and smiled confusedly. "I do?" Pointing at himself stupidly.

"Yep. One day I will scare you half to death, then we will be even. Until then, no more scares."

He snorted. "As you wish~."

...

Undertaker finally sat at my feet, at one end of our coffin. I sat at the other end, at the head.  
We awkwardly looked at each other. In total silence.

I don't know how he had wanted me to react, but I'm sure I disappointed him.  
And now we were acting like awkward idiots.

…

"So... bizarre dolls?"

He was quick to come to defend his creations. "They are beautiful."

I'm not sure if I should trust his sense of beauty anymore. I looked at the mortician. "Define 'beautiful'."

"Pale skin~ as beautiful as when they were alive~ but more... I have to admit that it is thanks to your potions~"

Come again?

I waved a hand in front of Undertaker, affronted. "You used my potions for your..." 'Trash' was definitely too strong of a word, he seemed too _really_ like his dolls, and I hadn't seen them yet, so I shouldn't judge. 'Thingies' was too unspecific. I kept waving a hand in front of Undertaker face, thinking of a word for it. He waited patiently, and amusedly, looking at the hand. Experimentation? "... for your..." The hand started waving faster.

Undertaker calmly took the hand in his, stopping the movement.  
"Yes~ I did~. At first it was to test the effectiveness of the potion in already dead bodies~. The results were impressive~. Although they can't resuscitate an already dead person."

"Did you use the potions on anything else?"

"I just gave a sample to a doctor, a..." he snickered. A poor fool if Undertaker's reaction was anything to go by. "... business partner of mine~. It just came up the possibility of using it on my dolls~."  
So the partner-doctor-poor fool knew about the dolls? Or that is what his words led me to believe...

Zombies. What a great Christmas conversation.

"Why…"

"Mhmm~?"

"Why tell me this, though? I would have… probably never found out, if you didn't tell me. So… why did you?"

He got serious once again, muttering enigmatically. "Why indeed"  
The look in his eyes was… indescribable. I… really could never hope to name such an expression. It seemed a mixture of serious, amused, exasperated and resigned. Truly baffling.

He didn't answer my question, though. So I tried with another, less personal question.  
"And they are different from my Zombies in...?"

He playfully made a thinking pose, tapping his finger against his mouth.  
He hummed for a good while.

In the end he just shrugged with a guileless smile.

"You mean they are EXACTLY the same?!" I might have said that a little louder and with a pitch higher than necessary, but he laughed.

He jumped away, dancing out of my reach. I wanted to strangle him with his own hair.

Why? Why would he make Zombies? Or... well 'bizarre dolls' as he calls them. They are... an insult to his own job and the dead's family.  
I knew he could find humor in another's misfortune, but... this was too much, wasn't it?

I shook my head. He seemed to not want to continue this conversation, as he was dancing out of the room.

He came back after some time, time in which I just thought about what had happened, looking dejectedly at the kitchen from my coffin, where Undertaker had disappeared.  
He only came back to look at me, though, smiling teasingly and sneaking inside once again.  
He probably wants me to follow him. I'm not going to. He can go ask Biscuit, I'm tired, I was just woken up, dragged into a discussion about zombies and scared half to death.

I laid back in my coffin.

A silver head peeked from the edge, an unspecified amount of time later. I closed the lid of the coffin in front of the mortician's nose, growling. I heard a whine.

Oops.

I might have made a mistake.  
Opening the lid of the coffin revealed an empty shop.

Not for long, as Undertaker came in, dragging a chastised Biscuit by their clothes.

Biscuit's face was the very representation of 'puppy eyes', their mouth was... was Biscuit frothing at the mouth? I hope they don't have rabies.

"What did you do, little Lia~? Biscuit here came running, whining and crying, and went straight for the cake. Of course, I didn't let the mutt even approach the cake. Sadly, the same cannot be said of the frosting I had put aside."

"Biscuit..."

Biscuit whined, looking at anything but us. Face of guilt clear as day.  
"I'm sorry I growled at you... I thought you were the stupid old man... come here sweetie..."

The "stupid old man" made an affronted noise, but Biscuit ran to me, hugging me and crying dog-style.

"How come Biscuit eats my frosting and then gets a hug?" A pouting Undertaker approached us, hands on his hips.

"Because I hadn't meant to scare Biscuit."

...

Critical hit.

"I hadn't meant to scare you, either..."

I patted Biscuit on the head. "Aha..."

He whined. "I didn't mean to scare you, little Lia~. Come on~ forgive me~" Hugging me and attempting to give me the puppy eyes wouldn't have normally worked.  
But damn, he had some mean puppy eyes. If he used those more often I was sure he would be able of take over the world.

Sighing, I gave up. "I know." I smiled at him, putting a hand on his cheek, caressing softly the blushing skin.  
He was really pale, so he blushed easily. That meant he probably wasn't sick. It was natural reaction to the cold. But more noticeable.

He closed his eyes. Enjoying the affectionate touch. Sometimes, he acted like a puppy, looking for affection. He leaned into my hand.  
Talking about dogs. I had one currently not very happy its cuddling session was cut short.

I'm pretty sure these two have a jealousy-induced rivalry behind my back.

Biscuit tried to get the hand currently busy with Undertaker to pet them instead. Never mind the fact my other hand is completely free. Biscuit wanted THAT specific hand to pet them.

Undertaker took my hand in his and against his cheek, not allowing Biscuit to steal it away. The reaper stuck out his tongue, glaring at the dog.

Definitely a rivalry. They were like kids.  
"Didn't you have a cake to take care of?"

A blink later Undertaker was nowhere to be found. But I did hear him in the kitchen, whining.

I sighed, looking at Biscuit.

"Merry Christmas, I guess."

Technically Christmas Eve but…  
Semantics.


	18. Chapter 17

**Hey! Another chap here. I hope you liked the story so far. Thanks to sssssslitherinbedwithme, guadadominguez thetankgirl and Saniah-san for your reviews, I loved reading them.** **Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: Yana Toboso made and owns Black Butler. I don't.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"What does everyone have against sleeping?!"

"Hi hi~ good morning little Lia~."

"Nothing about 'good morning'! Sleep! Let me sleep..."

"I can't do that~. Tomorrow is Christmas~ a day of copious eating, uncomfortable family reunions and frantic gift wrapping. Hi hi~"

Yawn.

"Where does 'sleep' qualify in your planning for today?"

"At the very bottom, I'm afraid~"

"Then I have to warn you. If tomorrow, you even so much as _think_ , about waking me up, I will kick you where the sun doesn't shine."

He wiggled, delighted. "And where doesn't the sun shine~?"

"If you want to know so bad, then wake me up tomorrow."

He seemed to find a great amusement in my threat. He probably thought I wouldn't do it. He's wrong, though. If someone dares to wake me up, they will get kicked out of the window. I don't care if tomorrow is Christmas or the end of the freaking world.

"We need to buy a few things~."

"Isn't it a bit too late?"

"It's never too late! Let's go!"

I was dragged out of the coffin where I had attempted to fall asleep, Biscuit whined as they saw their master stolen from their arms. They didn't move to take me back from Undertaker's hold, though. Traitor.

We were out in the cold far sooner than I would like, I just had time to eat a few cookies, but Undertaker didn't want me to 'spoil my hunger for tonight'.

It was really cold, in fact, there was snow crunching underneath my feet with every step I took. Right now, I was using a spare pair of boots Undertaker had. If I was out with my usual shoes with this cold, my feet would freeze over. Like popsicles.  
Undertaker's boots were warm and cozy, even if I wasn't used to walk in heels and the boots ended higher than I was used to.

Even at this hour, there were still a few stalls, trying to sell some products to the wandering couples. Or at the frantic housewives trying to do last minute arrangements.

I was clinging to Undertaker's arm, it was so cold, that even _he_ seemed like an appropriate source of heat. And that's saying something. I should have grabbed something warmer.

Walking through the cold streets of winter London, I couldn't help but marvel. I always loved the snow. There was something to it that I couldn't explain. It was like a mix of a primal respect for the untouched frozen water, and a call to jump right in it to play, regardless of the consequences.  
I don't think it's very smart to play in this dirty snow, though.

As we walked, Undertaker tried to push me into a mound of snow. I almost fell, but as I got right on my feet, I pushed him with the side of my hips,making him eat snow. Eventually, it turned into a game, hitting the other with the side of our hips when the other wasn't expecting it.

Surprisingly I was winning.

We went to a stall that sold candles, run by a tired old man.  
Undertaker stopped there. Apparently we need candles... for some mysterious purpose I cannot fathom. We already have a lot, don't we? I know Undertaker has a secret stash full of them.

He sometimes puts them around the shop to "give ambiance" to the parlor. That is, to make it creepier.

He attempted to pay for the candles, but I swatted his hand away. He was doing all of this for me, I'm paying.

The reaper snickered.

Uh... a penny was...  
Twenty shillings were a pound, and a shilling is twelve pence. So if the candles were worth a penny for every candle...  
Why can't my inventory just give me the exact amount? Oh, wait. Never mind. It just did.

I really don't understand the fluctuating currency. The amount is always the same, but one moment I have dollars, then pounds and suddenly I am taking a pence out of it.

I'm not questioning it, though.

Despite already having bought everything we needed, and putting it in my inventory, Undertaker insisted in having a look around. Can't he feel the cold?  
I think he's made out of stone, or ice.

We walked around, most shops were closed, as it was Christmas Eve, but a few stalls had foregone joining the celebrations in an attempt to get some extra cash.

We also ended up buying a gift for Biscuit. I wasn't sure they would appreciate it, but it's the thought that matters.

I finally managed to get Undertaker away from the shops, and had to drag him away from a mound of snow. He almost jumped in it, trying to play with the dirty snow.  
He was like a child. Almost worse than Biscuit.

Well... no. Biscuit rolled around the dirty snow the moment we got our eyes off of them. Nothing was worse than Biscuit. That's why it stayed at the shop.

I dodged a dirty, sloppy, snowball, thrown at me by my favorite reaper. He got a face full of snow for his trouble.  
His hair had almost blended in with the dirty snow.

I dragged him towards where I thought our shop was.  
Undertaker had to take over the lead, when I almost took a wrong turn, still attempting to get me covered in snow. Apparently he didn't like losing.  
It had become a personal goal of his.

As I saw our funeral parlor on our way back, I finally let go of the arm I had all but kidnapped, running inside the shop.

Undertaker entered the shop behind me, so he didn't have the pleasure of seeing a knocked out Mr. Dimwit, under a pile of coffins, until after I moved aside. I had front row seats to the view, though.

I ultimately decided to ignore him, welcoming Biscuit, who was excitedly jumping around. Even Undertaker got a lick.

It seemed like Biscuit had had company... that idiot better not have touched a hair out of Biscuit's head.

And speaking of hair, Biscuit's is a total mess.

Where did I put the brush? I looked at Undertaker, he wouldn't have it, would he? We just got back, he _couldn't_ have it.

But it's not in its usual place in the bathroom... I think. Let's make sure of it.  
No it's not there. But that wasn't a surprise.

As I walked bakc downstairs, I saw the mortician, lightly poking the unconscious reaper with his foot. He finally rested his foot on Mr. Dimwit's head, almost like he just hunted the fallen reaper. Looking around, nothing seemed out of place, aside from the coffins which must have fallen on Mr. Dimwit's head.

I finally approached the mortician. Undoing the scarf that tied his uniform together I opened the robe, looking for the brush, moving him around, ignoring the sticks-of-doom/sotobas, I decided he probably didn't have it on him. Unless he is hiding it underneath the clothes he wears under the robes. But I'm not checking there. I'm not a pervert.

I searched some more around my coffin, in my inventory, I even went upstairs to look in the bathroom again.

Not there. Then again, I don't know why was I expecting it to magically appear, when I had already looked there.

Going downstairs again, I found Undertaker roughly kicking out the still unconscious Mr. Dimwit outside and into a pile of dirty snow.  
Closing the door, Undertaker turned to me, smirking. "Found anything~?"

Alright. That sentence might just as well be his form of admitting his involvement in the disappearance of the brush.

I opened Undertaker's robe again, giving it another inspection. He had taken the chain of lockets in his hand, preventing them from falling to the floor. He had his arms opened wide to let me have a good look.

I couldn't see it.

It wasn't inside his sleeves, either. I uncertainly touched his chest, fumbling around, trying to find my brush. He snickered, letting me have free access to any part I wanted.

He either didn't have it on his person, or he did, and he either wanted me to think he didn't, or he wanted me to find the brush.  
With Undertaker it was hard to know for sure.

It was awkward as hell. I was basically fondling his chest, and my bright red cheeks didn't help.

I could feel Undertaker's eyes digging into my face, drinking in my expression. He was enjoying my suffering.  
What an ass.

I brought my hands downwards, to his stomach. I had to admit... he was...

Nope. Not thinking. I'm not thinking. I can't have these thoughts if I'm not thinking at all.

...

Fried fish! Where did he hide his brush? I mean, MY brush!

My whole face had gained a deep shade of red. I could feel the blood throbbing in my face. I was blushing so hard it hurt.

I nibbled my lip. This was unfortunate, if I didn't find the brush soon, I would faint or worse, become a nervous wreck, embarrassing myself. More that I was already.

I finally stammered. "Giv- give me the b-brush."

"Oh~? Is that what you wanted~? You could have just asked~" Undertaker almost sounded disappointed I worked up the nerve to ask. He got the brush from some back pocket behind his pants.

Thank goodness I had asked. I would never have dared search that low. Was he trying to get me to do a complete body search on him?

The door opened with a loud bang.

I flinched, and I felt how Undertaker stiffened under my hand still resting on his chest.

"You! How dare you-!..." blinked from the dorway, eyeing us both. "Am I interrupting something?"

...

What.

Mr. Dimwit caring about interrupting? What could he think was going on, to make even someone like him think twice about interrupting?

...

I looked at Undertaker. Then at my hand on his chest. Then at his disheveled clothes.

...

Did it look like I was manhandling him? It was more or less what happened, but not quite… But Mr. Dimwit wouldn't care about that, would he?  
He hadn't cared when I was being abused by Undertaker.

...

Oh! Of course! I should have realized sooner.  
It looked like I was mugging my boss!

Oh, my.

"This is not what it looks like..." My whole face had turned red from shame.

Undertaker eyed me sideways.  
"No. This is exactly what it looks like. You are interrupting. Scram, scram~" Undertaker made a shooing motion with his hand.

Mr. Dimwit looked at both of us, uncertain who he should believe.

Why would Undertaker say I was mugging him?! This isn't a joke! That's a heavy accusation! I could go to jail for that!

"It's not! This is a misunderstanding!"

"No, It's not~ fush~ fush~. Leave us, we're busy~."

"Taker!" I turned to the uncertain-looking blond reaper. "Look, I know this looks... strange... but it's not like that!"

"Shoo~... unless you want to join~?"

At this Mr. Dimwit paled. He turned, running away.

I wasn't about to do anything to him! I didn't do anything to Undertaker! I wouldn't even touch Mr. Dimwit!  
Too late, Mr. Dimwit had already fled.

I turned to Undertaker.

" _That_ was horribly mean."

"Hi hi hi~ It worked, didn't it~?"

"You hadn't needed to traumatize him."

"I have to admit I wasn't expecting Mr. Dimwit to understand the implications, but I'm more surprised YOU caught the meaning behind the scene. Hi hi~"

Hey! I resent that. I may be a little hard when it came to these things, but I wasn't completely oblivious!

"I'm not stupid... and it's not funny. I wouldn't put a hand on Mr. Dimwit, the last threat was completely uncalled for."

"Aww~ does that mean that you would 'put a hand' on me~? Does that mean you like me~?" He blinked exaggeratedly, blushing, and putting both of his hands together like he was praying. He was moving from side to side, impatiently witing for my response.

"That doesn't have anything to do with what we're talking about."

"It has everything to do with what we're talking about." The answer was quick and unexpectedly serious. He had suddenly gotten even closer than before, his hands had moved at my sides, his face las leaning forward in an attempt to pry the information by invading my personal space. "So~...?"

"Wha- No it doesn't! Theft doesn't have anything to do with liking the victim or not... although, I guess some muggers might choose their victims that way… I don't know… You know what, I don't want to talk about that. I don't care you accused me of mugging you, as long as you don't do it again." I frowned at Undertaker's hands, caging me. If he wasn't careful people would think _he_ was the one mugging me this time.

...

Undertaker stared blankly for a few moments, before closing his eyes, sighing. As in, really SIGHED.

Undertaker. Sighing. He even brought a hand to his forehead, hiding his eyes. Was that was Kim called a face palm?  
What happened?

Maybe he hadn't meant to accuse me of mugging him, and is now regretful? But... that sigh was an exasperated one, not a regretful one.

...

"I should have known..." He looked away, so I couldn't see his face. I still heard the rivers of anime tears falling down his face.

...

I think...

I think I don't want to know.

Yeah.

Let's roll with that.

I finally took the brush, removing my hands from the mortician's chest. Now that I think about it, I should have removed the hands the moment Mr. Dimwit entered and misunderstood the situation.

Taking the brush, I turned to Biscuit, who was... nowhere to be seen.

...

Sigh. Why me?

I tried looking outside, in our backyard, but it was so cold, that I immediately closed the door.

I went upstairs, ignoring Undertaker, who was crouching by a corner, drawing circles on the floor with his fingers. Mushrooms were growing on his back.  
I definitely don't want to know.

Ack!

I was unexpectedly tackled by a whirlwind of limbs, love and licks, nicely adorned with a tail. Also known as Biscuit.

I dragged them towards the bedroom, sitting on the bed, and started brushing Biscuit's messy, short, silver hair.

Once I was done, I went downstairs to leave what we bought out of my inventory, so Undertaker could use it, and was greeted by a still fuming Reaper.

"It's impossible."

What is he complaining about, now?

"What happened?"

"You!"

I happened?

I frowned at my boss, trying to get Biscuit away from the candles we bought. And their gift.

"It's impossible that someone like you exists."

Eh... is this about my ability? Or the time travel thing?

I said nothing. What was I supposed to say? That I don't know what he's talking about? Nope. I just nod along until I make sense of what is happening.

"Not even YOU can be _that_ oblivious. Unless you're doing it deliberately." He was pouting, sending an accusatory glare in my direction.

… Eh?

Oh! I know what we're talking about!

This is something Kim usually complained about. Nothing new there. I had been worried for a second.

Apparently there is a... social convention of sorts, which I have somehow missed. I thought I had started to get that part down, but seems like I have still a lot of work ahead of me.

"Sorry."

"Do you even know why you are apologizing?"

"Of course! Somehow, there was an expected response to a usual, everyday situation that I didn't react to. Because I failed to react in the expected way, I have caused distress, confusion, and urges to bang their faces against a hard surface, to everyone involved. For that, I apologize."

"..."

I... think he's not getting it. How did Kim... ah yes. "Or... as Kim says: you're an awkward weirdo that can't take a hint." Well…Said….  
Or maybe it should be: 'as Kim used to say', as… Not anymore. I wouldn't see her again.

Sighing, Undertaker sat on a coffin, resting their head on their hand. "I can understand this 'Kim' when she said that."

Yeah... "But I have been improving!"

Uh... I don't know what had I done wrong, but...  
"A little..."

...

Awkward silence.

A snicker. Undertaker's.

His hysterical snickers evolved into a full blown maniac laugh.

Eh... alright.

He finally got up, and went to the kitchen.

When he got out, he made me a motion to come where he was.

I approached, he stood his ground in the doorway, and he covered my eyes when I got right next to him.

What is he doing?

He guided me not far away, as the kitchen was small, so he only had to fumble us around so that I was facing the kitchen while he was right behind me, instead of the other way around.

"Ta-chan~" He uncovered my eyes, showing me a cake on the table, next to an... avian, of sorts. Chicken? Duck?

The whole table was covered by food. What wasn't on the table was on the counter, next to the kitchen. There was far more food than I could genuinely eat in a week. Maybe even a month.

"You went overboard."

"Hi hi hi~" He seemed quite pleased by my stupefied face. If his giggling and hugs were any indication.

He pointed to a plate. "This bread here, I bothered Diedrich to get for me~ it's a typical German food~. It's called Stollen, but I didn't steal it~. It's sweet ...and this is the cake I made this morning~ there's the goose, can't forget that. And the cookies~..."

"I will never finish eating all of this..."

"No matter~ what is important is that tomorrow is a special day~"

"Then why are we celebrating today?"

"Aww~ and we will share gifts~"

"But that is tomorrow, right?"

"And eat and drink and laugh~"

" _You_ will be doing that, I don't want your alcoholic beverages."

"Not all the drinks are alcoholic~. And even then, it's a special day~ loosen up~"

"That's not an excuse to get drunk off of my mind."

"Live a little~"

"Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"I'm trying to make you have fun~"

"By getting me drunk."

"By trying new things. Like goose~."

"And wine."

"It's brandy."

"Count me out."

"Lia~..."

"Takeeer..."

"Lia~..."

"Takeeer..."

"Woof"

"Biscuit no!"

Biscuit had apparently decided that they wanted to try the duck... eh... goose.

And threw themselves against it.

We just barely avoided a disaster by catching Biscuit in the nick of time.

I looked at all the food. I felt horrible. I wouldn't be able to finish it all. All of that spoiled food...

Why had he bothered making all of this? Just... for me?

I looked at him. He shouldn't have... it would have been fine with just eating normal food and giving gifts... wasn't this a bit too much?

I felt like crying. No one had ever bothered making sure I enjoyed holidays. At best it was a day off, at worst, it was an uncomfortable social obligation.

This... was really, really nice...

I hugged Undertaker. "Thank you..." I felt like tearing up. A pair of arms returned the embrace.

Crash!

Biscuit hadn't wasted the opening they had and, seeing as we were both busy hugging each other, the dog-child jumped on the unsuspecting piece of meat they had been eyeing and... well... the rest doesn't really need to be explained.

...

Biting my lip, I watched Undertaker try to skin Biscuit alive, all in the name of fun, of course.

Biscuit still had the cooked goose in its jaws. I... don't think there's much more to do.

I smiled, seeing reaper try to catch the dog-child, even if at this point, there wasn't much we could save, of the goose.

I laughed. I was happy. I had fun, and I was celebrating with the people I loved.

"Little Lia~ catch the thief!"

"He he... Biscuit~ come here~." I said while laughing. Biscuit had its honest doubts, but seeing as I didn't seem angry, they came to me, wagging their tail.

After petting their head I calmly extended my hand, asking for the goose in their mouth.

They didn't really want to give it up, but by the end of it, I got my way. Cutting the goose and taking out the bones, I made Biscuit sit (in a chair), giving them the meat.

"I don't know how you do it..." Undertaker was pouting.

I smiled fondly at him. "By being nice."

"I'm nice~!"

"Yes, you are"

"Of cour- Wait, really?"

I resisted the urge to laugh. "Yes"

He blushed.

He he. Undertaker was cute when he blushed.

I blushed myself, blinking.

Where had that come from?

I shook my head. It was true, anyways. No need to be ashamed of it. Undertaker was really cute, when he wanted. The only problem was that he usually wanted to be creepy. And managed to pull it off flawlessly.

By this time I felt I couldn't really win the fight against the biggest smile I have ever smiled in my life, so I had to concede defeat, and give up trying to hide it.

The kitchen was cramped, but lively, Biscuit sat on my lap when they weren't running around or trying to steal food. Undertaker sat on the other chari, either looking at me, or looking up at the doorway, seemingly pondering something.

I had to eat with chopsticks, as the only set of cutlery was being used by Undertaker. Biscuit didn't really need or want anything but their hands to eat.

It was fun, the most fun I had on Christmas.

"Come on little Lia~ it's just a game~ healthy competition and all that~"

"Yeah, and everyone knows you're a cheat and will win anyway. And it cannot be called 'healthy competition' if the competition consists of seeing who can drink more of that poison you call brandy."

"Aww~ hi hi hi~ I'm not going to cheat~ come on little Lia~"

"You don't need to. Between Biscuit, who is a dog AND a kid, and me, who doesn't drink, it is clear you are going to win. It's not even a competition."

"Hi hi hi~ it's all in the name of fun~ the real fun is not winning, but the fun I will have seeing you stumble around, drunk~ hi hi hi~ Besides, Christmas is supposed to be all fun and games and family and food and drinking yourself out...~"

"I'm pretty sure Christmas isn't about that last thing..." Not that I was an expert on Christmas.

Undertaker pouted, downing another glass of... that infernal poison. Surprisingly he didn't seem affected at all, even if I had already lost count of how many he already had.

"I... think that's enough alcohol for you."

"Hi hi hi~ I'm fine little Lia~ I'm not a lightweight~ he he he~ perhaps YOU are, and that's why you don't wanna drink~"

"Yeah, sure." I wouldn't know, as I never drink, so if he was planning on... hurting my pride to get me to drink or something equally stupid, it wasn't going to work.

"Come on~... are you a baby, little Lia~? Is my poor little assistant a baby~? You should have told me~ little Lia~ little Lia~"

He began to sing my name, while moving his hands back and forth, like he was talking to a baby, perhaps thinking that would make me miraculously drink.

Not a chance.

"You've definitely had too much alcohol, 'Taker. Come on, old man. Go to sleep."

"Noooo~ little Lia~. I'm not going to drink until you sleep."

I stared at him. He didn't look any different than normal, maybe more childish than normal, but that slip up definitely showed he shouldn't have any more alcohol.

Silence.

"... I'm not going to sleep until you drink. That's what I said, and it's final. You can't make me~" he pouted like a petulant child, waving his arms around.

I probably couldn't make him.

I would try all the same.

I took his hands, trying to get him up, to no avail. He was heavy as a rock.

"Just a sip~ I'm sure you will become... three... no, _four_ times more fun when you loosen up~ not that you're not already fun~" He was playing dead, sprawled on the chair. He was as unmovable as a statue.

Despite all of my efforts, he didn't bulge an inch.

Sighing, I decided to play dirty. If he was acting like a spoiled child, so could I.

Taking the cup he was about to bring to his lips, I feigned taking a sip.

"Hey~... not fair, that was mine~." I probably just saved him from alchohol poisoning, he should stop whining.

"I drank, now get up and go to sleep, old man."

He grumbled, looking dejectedly at the cup still on my hands. At last, he finally got up... and stole the drink, running away with it.

...

I rolled my eyes. He can keep that. If he dies because of it, I'm dumping him a random box and sending him to Phanthomhive. I'm sure Vilvent will know what to do with him. Or... well, his dead body.

I followed the probably-drunk mortician, he was hiding inside one of the upright coffins in the shop, but his giggling didn't contribute to his overall stealth.

He had finished the glass… well, beaker, by the time I dragged him out of the coffin.

He didn't really need any help walking, he seemed perfectly fine, if anything, he acted more of a goof than usual. Besides that, he seemed a fairly harmless drunk. A happy drunk, if anything.

"Hi hi hi~ you're... the best assistant in the world~. Hi hi hi~ funny~ funny~ funny~" he was a horrible singer. I think he was even worse than me. And that's saying something. "But not funny as is 'funny' but funny. Get me~?" Not really.

I still helped him walk upstairs, even if he seemed completely fine, I didn't want him suddenly falling down the stairs and breaking his neck.

Opening the door to his bedroom, I let him walk in on his own. He looked around for a second, examining the room.

Then he turned to me, sporting a very intense, half-lidded, pair of eyes.

"Are we going to sleep, little Lia~?"

"You are. I have to clean everything up."

He blinked, sobering up, his intense look all but gone. "Let me help."

He seemed fine, but...

"I just brought you upstairs, if you want to help, go to sleep and keep Biscuit from breaking things."

"Aww~ I'm not drunk little Lia~"

I looked at him.

He didn't _seem_ drunk... But I would rather not try my chances. Goodness knows what horrible shenanigans a drunk Undertaker can get up to.

"Go to sleep."

"You can't make me!"

And... he ran.

I'm sure he's drunk. And I'm pretty certain a drunk Undertaker loose in the house can only spell disaster.

Undertaker while drunk acts like a child… well, more than usual. As if I didn't have enough with Biscuit.

I went downstairs, and approached a suspiciously shaking coffin. I opened it, just to find a tied up Biscuit.

I was expecting for it to be Undertaker, but he was definitely behind this. It was obvious he got his dirty hands all over poor Biscuit. He even used the scarf he normally uses to tie his uniform together as rope.

Helping Biscuit out, I was uncertain if I should led Biscuit upstairs and let Undertaker run amok, or let Biscuit tag along and possibly make things harder when I found Undertaker.

My sanity or the shop's wellbeing?

...

A crash interrupted my decision-making. Or, I should rather say that, it made the decision for me.

Undertaker wasn't in the kitchen, the crash coming from the basement left that very clear.

I went downstairs, followed by a fairly freaked out Biscuit. Poor thing. I should have left them in bed. Warm and cozy. Even if I knew the probability of them staying in bed, when neither Undertaker nor I was with them, was rather low.

Undertaker was... well, he was fine.

I'm not sure if my poor eyes and sanity can say the same.

He was grabbing a dead body in a very... intimate embrace. He was glaring daggers at the side of the poor, dead girl's face.

"Why don't you... let poor..." what was her name again? "...Miss Lisa... rest for a while, and go to sleep?"

Undertaker whirled around, and expression of sudden intensity on his face. "Miss Lisa's" limp body following his motions. She was dead, it's not like she could oppose any resistance.

"I remembered I hadn't danced, and I couldn't find you... so I asked Miss Larisa for a dance." They hadn't seemed to be dancing but... who was I to say anything?

Instead I settled with a: "And she answered?"

Sadly, I was completely ignored.

"Where were you? The party can't end if we don't dance at least once... it's terribly rude..." he sounded like a kicked puppy.

He wasn't making much sense, though.

He was looking dejectedly between the body he had been dancing with, and me.

Finally, he carelessly dropped 'Miss Larisa', walking towards me.

I had to run to avoid the dead body from splattering against the floor.

Leaving the body where it belonged, I walked out of the morgue, Undertaker firmly hugging me like I was a long lost doll he just got back. Biscuit was throwing suspicious glances at the mortician, but didn't dare to growl.

Later, I have to ask Undertaker what he did to poor Biscuit. If he even remembers what happened in the morning.  
Or if _I_ remember to ask.

I finally got to the bedroom, both idiots throwing themselves in bed without even changing clothes.

Would I have to do everything for them?

I was considering giving Biscuit my Christmas gift right now, as it was a pair of handmade pajamas. It would save me the trouble of having to dress them in Undertaker's clothes.

I took the pajama from my inventory and put Biscuit in them. I have more gifts for them anyways. No way would I be as cruel as to give them just that. Christmas was about giving things people wanted, not things they needed. It was good if they also needed it, but more often than not, giving clothes was... a source of disappointment.

Hardly ever will you hear: "oh, yes. My favorite Christmas gift was a pair of socks." Unless there was something special about them.

I knew Biscuit wouldn't complain. They wouldn't even care at all about what they got, or if they got anything. I still wanted them to have something they would love.

That's why I got them a bone to munch on, a plushy to snuggle and a blanket to keep them warm. Plus pajamas, because I was sick and tired of having to scramble to get them in anything remotely clean.

We could say the pajamas were a gift for myself.

Once Biscuit was changed, warm and sleeping like a log undercovers, I turned to Undertaker.

The reaper hadn't bothered moving an inch since throwing himself on the bed.

I maneuvered him around, taking him out of his mute uniform and putting it aside.

Well...

I was uncertain if I should completely undress him to get him in his pajamas.

I looked at him, he had his eyes closed, the scar fully visible thanks to the parted hair, which revealed his peaceful face. He had his thin lips slightly parted, and rosy cheeks. He looked so relaxed...

But he wasn't fooling me. He wasn't asleep.

I threw his pajamas at his face, and was answered by a whine.

I had seen Undertaker asleep before, he was lacking the drool and occasional creepy giggle that sometimes woke me up in the middle of the night.

"You will have to try harder."

I heard him whine something in return, but I had already gone downstairs to finally clean everything up.

As I walked past the window I saw, by chance, Mr. Dimwit sitting outside, eyes closed.

I took out a blanket I had made. Well, it had been one of my first attempts at making a blanket, but it still did its job. That was all it was needed.

Grabbing a piece of cake that had been left, and a glass of that foul beverage Undertaker called Brandy, I went out.

Covering the apparently asleep Mr. Dimwit and leaving the food and drink next to him, I went inside.

Even someone like Mr. Dimwit deserved a little kindness, especially on Christmas... And I didn't want him to think I was a depraved criminal, which I wasn't, so any kindness would probably give me cookie points.

Speaking of cookies...

Nom nom nom.

There weren't any left. At least not anymore.

Once everything was clean and in place, I prepared myself to go to sleep. But, when I tried to go upstairs, I found myself face to face with a certain silver haired reaper, walking down the stairs.

He made a gesture to keep silent, and sneaked inside the front shop.

He put some box wrapped in a colorful envelope underneath the tree he had bought barely a few days ago.

The tree was actually hidden by coffins, because Biscuit had tried to play with the tree, with disastrous consequences. The coffins were surrounding the tree to prevent another accident.

The tree was strangely decorated. It didn't have a lot of ornaments, in case Biscuit broke everything again, but the ornaments that had survived Biscuit's tackle, ranged from a skull figure of sorts to a small dog plushy. Biscuit's contribution were the munched on base of the tree, a lot of cracked ornaments, slobber, and a biscuit. A real, edible, one, which they stole from Undertaker. I didn't let the reaper take it out, it was adorable.

I smiled and did the same, leaving Biscuit's gifts under the tree. I wasn't going to leave Undertaker's there, as I was positive he would try to sneak a peek before it was time to open the gifts.

"Hey~?"

I turned to the whispering reaper. "yes?"

"Wanna dance~? Hi hi hi~"

"I don't dance, Taker, you know that."

"Do I~?" I looked at the happily prancing reaper, clad on his pajamas, which I made. That brought a smile to my face.

"Lia~?"

"Yes?"

"Let's dance~"

"I don't know how."

"It doesn't matter~ no one is going to see us~" he snickered softly. At least he was trying to keep his voice down. Wouldn't want Biscuit to wake up.

"I don't know..." I don't know how to dance... I have never danced.

"I can teach you~"

"But... there's no music... and if there was, it could wake Biscuit up" …and the neighbors.

"It doesn't matter! Let's dance to the rhythm of life!" He put a little too much enthusiasm into that sentence, raising his voice.

"Shhh!"

"Hi hi hi~"

I wasn't convinced that Undertaker was completely sober, but seeing as he got tired of waiting and decided to take my hands in his, I don't think I have a choice anymore.

I tried to keep up with him, I really tried, but I have no delusions that I might have done well.

"You _really_ can't dance..."

"I told you."

"Hi hi~ no matter, just let me lead~ stay still."

Even at staying still I sucked, as, after a while fumbling around with me, Undertaker finally picked me up, not letting me touch the floor.

"Better this way~"

"That's what _you_ say." I felt like I was going to fall.

Undertaker was pressing me against his chest with one hand, the other held my hand hostage, as I had tried using it to hold onto him, as I was sure I would meet the floor rather painfully.

"Play dead~"

"This is ridiculous!" I exclaimed, whispering.

"Just go limp, dear, I promise I won't drop you~" his smile wasn't reassuring me any. In fact, it made me even more reluctant to go limp, as he asked. He was definitely planning to drop me.

I shook my head.

"Aww~ little Lia~ don't you trust me~?"

I considered it. I shook my head.

He made an offended gasp, before snickering playfully.

He took a few seconds to recompose himself. When he did he whispered in the most serious voice I had ever heard from him.

"I promise, I will never let you fall."

I was left stunned for a few seconds, unable to say anything.  
It seemed like a simple promise, but... the way he had said it, made me think he had just made the most important promise ever.

I dropped limp.

"Hi hi hi~ a word beforehand would have been nice~"

He was just complaining, he hadn't even faltered. I was now completely limp in his arms, like I weighed nothing, he lowered the hand keeping me against him to my lower back, rearranging our position a bit.

And he started moving.

Uncertainly at first, but once he got into a pattern his movements became sure and steady.

He seemed to be gliding, spinning me around, moving to the beat of a song only he could hear. He had closed his eyes, perhaps in an attempt to hear the song better.

Pam-Pam. Pam-Pam. Pam-Pam. Pam-Pam.

Step-stop. Swirl-stop. Walk-stop. Spin-stop.

It had started as an uncertain beat, slow and nervous, and calmed down after a while, steady and sure.

If I closed my eyes, I could almost swear I could hear the beat, moving with us, spinning when we did, beating when we walked. Every beat was an order we had to follow, every "Pam", a challenge we had to overcome.

As if pumped by my acknowledgment of its existence, the beat slowly picked up speed, until it finally entered a frantic, feverish pace, Undertaker spinning us around at the same punishing speed. Almost like it wanted to make us loose, like we were in a competition, and the beat was our opponent.

I could hear the song, beating in my ears, and felt my hair flying when Undertaker spun me around. I forgot myself completely in that song. Only the song existed. My blood was flowing at the beat of that song. The universe was moving at the beat of our song, and at that moment we were both the center of the universe.

And at the same time, we weren't important at all, just two beings, dancing at the rhythm of life.

I had touble breathing and I didn't care, I felt like we were at the top of the world. So little, and so free.

And then everything came crashing down. Undertaker had brought me up to the stars, and now he had to bring me down back to earth, back to reality.

As we slowly, very slowly, too slowly for the beat, came to a stop, I opened my eyes, confused.

The Grim Reaper was looking at me, amusedly, and for a second, I hadn't known what had happened.

My face was completely red, blood rushing through my ears, and I was suddenly happy Undertaker was still holding all my weight, because I was sure my legs couldn't have held me up longer than a second.

I looked around the shop, everything was as it should be. The only proof of our visit to the stars were my completely red cheeks, my ragged breathing, and the faint beat at the back of my mind, urging me to keep dancing.

"If I hadn't stopped you would have given yourself a heart attack~"

"Wha-..."

"Hi hi hi~ you have a beautiful melody~"

I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but as I calmed myself down, the beat disappeared, leaving me strangely empty.

I looked at Undertaker, confused.

"What happened?"

"We danced~"

 _That_ is dancing? I don't understand.

I think I broke something inside my head while I was dancing, because I feel completely lost and disoriented.

I don't know if I was blushing because of the beat, the proximity to the silver haired reaper, or because my blood is as lost as myself and has decided to have a meeting in my head to decide the best course of action.

"What's with that scared face~ didn't you have fun~?"

I nodded my head faster than I could comprehend the question. Of course I had fun! It was... exhilarating.

My hands were trembling? Why? I feel... out of it.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I found that I had nothing to say.

We stood like that. Undertaker holding me up, refusing to let me go, and me, too confused to actually ask being let go.

Finally, Undertaker let the hand that was grabbing my own fall, resting the back of his hand against my cheek.

"Was the dancing any good~?"

I nodded, still unable to find any words.

He snickered, pleased.

He seemed as proud of himself as he was amused. I could feel his chest puffing up. I could even imagine a peacock tail behind him.

I snickered myself. What an idiot.

Attempting to get back the ownership of my limbs, I started moving my recently freed hand.

I was spun around, forcing me to go limp again, or eat floor.

"Hey..."

"Yes~?"

"We have to go to sleep."

"Alright~"

...

That... had been surprisingly easy.  
Too easy.

I was right to be skeptical, as he brought me to the kitchen, instead of the bedroom.  
Was he planning to sleep in the kitchen?

He stopped by the doorway, and looked at me, like the cat that just got the canary.

Alright... I don't know what happened, but I'm apparently in trouble.

"Well... would you look at that~? What could _that_ be doing here~?" He sang, looking upwards.

I followed his gaze, immediately feeling my face turn into an unamused, blank expression.

Mistletoe.

I looked accusingly at the smiling mortician.

"My, my~ now we will have to kiss~ I wonder who put that there~?"

I know exactly who put that there, and I'm looking at the ass right in the eyes.

I rolled my eyes, sighing. I give up.

Better comply and get this over with. It's not like it's that strange, right?

"If you were so desperate for a kiss you could have just asked."

Grabbing him by his jaw, I brought his face towards me for a kiss.  
It was a quick peck of the cheek, nothing particularly strange about that, he had done far worse things to me. Like that time he took my tongue in his hand, refusing to let it go.

He almost dropped me from the surprise.

His face had frozen, a blush rapidly taking over his whole face, starting with his ears.

He had become a statue, eyes staring blankly at nothing, mouth half parted in the smirk he had been wearing when I kissed him.

I waved a hand in front of his eyes.

At least I could now stand on my own two feet.

The mortician suddenly spun around, disappearing in the blink of an eye.

...

Well... I hope he went to sleep.

Did I make things awkward?

Maybe he hadn't expected me to kiss him? Maybe he hadn't _wanted_ me to kiss him. But then why would he ask me to kiss him?

Oh. Maybe this had been one of his jokes and now was angry with me.

I frowned. Then I had to apologize.

I'm not very good at these things... Kim always said that I was completely oblivious. I would apologize, I hope I didn't ruin this Christmas...

That would be terrible... with all the fun Undertaker had been having... I don't want to be the reason this Christmas went wrong.

I think... it was expected of me to actually fight the kiss? To deny it? I'm not sure why... but I'm pretty sure I skipped the step where I was supposed to say I wouldn't kiss him. And that's why he was surprised. Or maybe he had wanted me to kiss him on the lips and was now offended…

Or maybe he had planned to put me under the mistletoe to get a laugh at my face, and then let me go without having to give him a kiss. And I threw him off by actually kissing him.

That did sound like something he would do…

Oh, my.

I hope he's not too angry... I feel horrible! What if he doesn't want me to live with him anymore?  
What if he throws me out? What if I never see Undertaker or Biscuit again because I'm as dense as a rock?

I breathed in.

I would go upstairs, enter the bedroom, and apologize to Undertaker. Yes.  
And then I would cross my fingers and pray that he didn't get offended too badly by my stupid actions.

Tiptoeing to the bedroom I peeked inside.

Biscuit was on the bed, sprawled and sleeping like a log, next to it, a bump I recognized as Undertaker, underneath the sheets.

From what little I saw, he was completely red faced, hugging a pillow, and burying his face against it.

I could barely make out his squealing, he sounded like a high school girl.  
He was clearly freaking out. Now I feel even worse.

I entered, uncertainly standing around the bed, a few steps away from it, not daring to jump on it.

What if he didn't want me close? He seemed to be... rather preoccupied, muffling screaming with the pillow.

I got close to the bed, uncertainly lowering myself to sit on it.  
Before my rear could actually touch the bed, I quickly got up, turning to Undertaker and a few feet away from the bed, as the reaper had finally stopped making that awful noise.

After a few seconds he finally raised his head in my direction, awkwardly staring.

I...

Staring at each other for the rest of the night didn't seem like the best plan, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. He blushed.

The awkward silence seemed to stretch on forever.

I ended up blushing, too. This was really awkward. He was probably waiting for my apology.

But the words were stuck in my mouth, refusing to break the silence.

Oh, my. I don't think I will be able to live like this. Is this always going to be this awkward? I should have realized what was expected of me sooner, I shouldn't have kissed him.

What if kissing is actually a forbidden action, to reapers?  
I knew nothing about Grim Reapers, just that they judged souls, had green eyes and laughed at the laws of physics. What if they had a custom, or something similar, that meant you wanted to kill whoever you kissed? What if he thinks I hate him?

This is getting more and more complicated by the second. And I'm more than certain that it's all my fault.

"Sorry"

Undertaker blinked, and patted the side of the bed, inviting me to join him.

I awkwardly did so.

"Why are you apologizing, little Lia~?"

He hugged me, patting my head and playing with my hair.

"I made things awkward."

He snickered.

"It was fun."

…It was?

"Really?"

He nodded, chuckling.

"I had a lot of fun~"

I sighed, relieved. So I hadn't royally screwed up.

"I'm glad." I actually smiled, relieved we were still friends.

As Undertaker lightly nudged Biscuit aside to give us more room, I felt the day's wear finally catch up on me.

I let my head drop on the pillow, Undertaker's arms around me, I nuzzled his neck. He giggled.

As Undertaker extinguished the bedside candle, the room finally went dark.

Closing my eyes I couldn't help but wish I wouldn't be woken up, tomorrow.  
Wishful thinking, I know. After all, tomorrow is Christmas.

"Good night"

…

"Does what you said earlier mean I can ask for another kiss..?"

"I said _good night_ "

"Not even a goodnight kiss?"

"GOOD NIGHT"

A snicker.

* * *

' _After sleeping in your bed your Hp and Mp are completely restored.'_

' _After too little sleep you gained the status [Too little sleep]'_

An annoying pitch pierced the realm of the dreams, dragging me back to reality.

"Prepare yourself! Now that I got my death scythe back, I will definitely defeat you! ...Not that I needed my death scythe to do that, I am merely giving you the honor of being defeated by my preferred weapon. Now, face me! I know you drank yesterday, which means your reflexes will be impaired! Even so, don expect any mercy from me! Hyaaaaa!"

I will kill him.

Bring me that asshole I have to kill right now, I will do it.

' _Intimidation has leveled up by one.'_

Does _everyone_ have a grudge against sleeping?! What's sleep anyways? Oh, yeah, sleep... that thing humans like to do a lot, isn't it?

I haven't opened my eyes yet, but I already know I have a very annoying Mr. Dimwit shouting from the window, first thing in the morning.

There goes my beauty sleep.

"Hi~ hi… Make him go away..."  
A dog whine answered.

And looks like neither of my bedmates is willing to get up. Oh, yes let's leave everything to the human, it's not like she needs to sleep or anything.

Growling I raised my head to look at the window, where a very annoying reaper was perched. I could barely open my eyes to glare at him.

' _Intimidation has leveled up by one.'_

I don't know if it was my bloodshot eyes, the bags under my eyes, my scowl, or the aura that could curl milk, but Mr. Dimwit seemed to actually think twice, faltering.

I didn't falter at all, getting up, I chained him up with the magic restraints, and proceeded to throw him out of the window via frying pan.

"Good hit~. I think those were six points~. Home run, if you prefer."  
I growled again. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. This is so unfair.

I crawled under the sheets again, pushing rudely my way between Biscuit and Undertaker.  
Biscuit had somehow slept through all that shouting. They have a really deep sleep.

Yawning, I got comfortable.

...

"Now that you are awake..."

"I'm not awake."

"..."

"..."

"... alright~"

Silence.

Yawn.

More silence.

"Are you awake, now~?"

I grumbled "...what do you want?"

"I couldn't help but notice that..."

"What...?"

"Huh... no. You will get angry~"

"I'm already angry, try me."

"Aww~ no. If you are already angry, I won't tell you." I knew he was pouting, just by his tone of voice.

Grrr... This man is trying my patience first thing in the morning, and after I have been sleeping horribly these last few days...  
Does he have a death wish?

I turned the hands that were grabbing Undertaker's pajama into claws, glaring at him. He finally relented.

"Can we open the gifts~?"

"Is Biscuit awake?" I already knew the answer, but I asked anyways.

"No..."

"Then, there's your answer."

"Aww~"

Yawn. Letting my head drop against the mortician's chest, I relaxed again.

And the moment said mortician's mouth opened, I felt myself tensing again.

"I couldn't help but notice that none of the gifts under the tree are for me~ is there a particular reason~?"

"Yes" I knew he would go snooping, that was the reason.

"And that reason is...~?"

"Nonnya"

"Nonnya?"

"None of your business."

"Aww~ But it's my gift~ it IS my business~."

"Pillows don't talk, Taker"

"You're so cranky when you wake up~ hi hi hi~"  
Why do I have to deal with this...? What kind of terrible god did I anger to have been punished like this?

"What do I need to do to get you to shut up and let me sleep?" By this point I knew I was outright pleading. I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Mhmmm~...? Well~..." he was rather falsely dragging out the vocals, like he already knew what he was going to ask, but was putting up a show. "How about a kiss~?"

Didn't he have enough with yesterday's drama? Can't he learn a lesson?

I had forgotten to turn off my glare, and he got visibly fidgety.

"You did say yesterday I only had to ask~... perhaps you shouldn't hav-"

I interrupted him by pecking him on the cheek again. If that's what he wanted, who was I to say anything. So long as I got some sleep.

He got all red faced again. He turned against the pillow, hiding his face.

Finally.

I prepared myself to get my beauty sleep. A long, nice rest that will leave me completely restored. Yep.

I closed my eyes, and slipped into dreamland.

Or... well, I would have slipped into dreamland, if a certain dog didn't finally decide we were too noisy and wake up.

Biscuit jumped out of the bed, running circles around us, barking.

...

I'm going to kill them all.

I was about to start frothing at the mouth. Why? Why does everyone plan to not let me sleep at all?

Undertaker jumped out of the bed, slipping out of my grasp, deciding it was too risky to stay in it. It was a reasonably good choice, I feel like I was about to tear the sheets, that had replaced him, apart.

Then, after putting a safe amount of distance between us, the mortician decided to try his luck further, and with a smirk, he said:

"Now that Biscuit is awake... gifts~?"

I had to be bodily hauled off of bed, and even then, I refused to dress up. Today, I will sleep, or die trying.

We got to the front of the shop, where the tree was surrounded by coffins, underneath it, were gifts.

I put Undertaker's there, too. "Well, would you look at that, seems like... Father Christmas misplaced your gifts, Taker. Maybe because you haven't been a good kid at all."

"Hi hi hi~ is that so~? And here I thought I had been very good, this year~"

Biscuit didn't seem to know why there were wrapped boxes under the tree, but seemed excited all the same.

They were running around, sniffing boxes and looking at us questioningly.

I took one of the gifts I knew was for Biscuit, and gave it to them. They took the gift, not opening it, but seemed elated anyways. Aww…They liked the gifts even if they thought it was just a box, what a precious creature.

Undertaker hadn't waited, and was instead wrapping the scarf I made for him around his neck. Were those tears?

He tackled me to the ground, showing his appreciation.  
Biscuit, decided to take a page out of Undertaker's book, and did the same.

Sigh.

I helped Biscuit unwrap their gifts, Undertaker slowly piling our gifts in separate piles. He had sneaked the plushy I made of himself inside one of his sleeves, smuggling it out of sight. At least I think he liked it.

While I was busy yawing, I got tackled again, by Biscuit, they had loved the giant bone I got for them. They better appreciate it, I had gone through hell and back to get that.

I shuddered. Those bone sharks...

That does remind me... I have a status for sleeping too little... what does it do?  
Thinkering around, I found the description:

 _'[Too little Sleep]: all Phsychological trait's bonuses are deactivated. -5% to all stats. -10% to Skill learning. Random chance recieve +10 to Angry, Stressed or Sad'_

Well that would explain why I'm so 'cranky' as Undertaker put it. I wasn't quite feeling like myself, thinking back on it.

As I was yawning I got a gift shoved under my nose. I looked at the retired reaper questioningly. He seemed quite excited.

Great, now I feel terrible. This was supposed to be because of me, and I was more interested in going back to sleep than participating.  
Although, I guess this is Biscuit's first Christmas, too. So maybe it's alright... They are putting enough enthusiasm for the both of us.

Ugh... I'm so tired I don't know what I'm thinking anymore.  
Alright Dalia! Stop mopping! You can sleep later... sleep is for the weak!

Opening my gift, I found... oh... this was unexpected.

I had expected something silly, or outrageous.  
This was a necklace. It seemed... pretty normal. Not too fancy, definitely not pricey, looked handmade...

I felt myself blushing. I loved it.  
"I... love it. Thank you."

Now that I look at it, it had a small bone hanging from it. Not a real one, of course, it had the bone-shape Undertaker's cookies had. It was soft to the touch but wasn't too cold or warm. I'm not sure what material was used to make it. Maybe polished wood?

If the cookie-like bone wasn't an indication as to who gave the gift, the blushing, gushing reaper stuck at my side made it perfectly clear.

"I'm glad you liked it~ hi hi~. May I help~?"

I turned around, letting him put it around my neck.

When I turned around again, I only heard a squeal, before being tackled to the ground again.

He seemed to squeal for a while... fangirling was the only word I could find to describe his actions, but... well, it was strange. I normally used that word to describe Kim.  
He was acting quite strange, lately…

He suddenly sat up, completely sober.

I couldn't quite see his face, as he was sitting on the floor behind me, but from what I saw, his attitude made a 180 turn.

"Why is there a gift for a 'Tofu' little Lia~?" Eh?

"He should also be included in the celebrations, right?"

"... Right..." he didn't seem very happy, the corners of his mouth turning downwards.

In fact, he started pouting, hugging me from behind, not letting me take Tofu's gift.  
Finally taking the gift, I sat Tofu on my leg, while I put the gift on my other leg, as I unwrapped it.

"Waaah! So cute... isn't it right, Tofu? It looks cute on you." It was a little blue scarf, Tofu looked adorable.

Undertaker grumbled behind me, taking Biscuit's blanket and covering my head with it.

"What was that for?"

He pouted, looking away.

Giving the blanket back to Biscuit, I opened another gift that seemed to be also for me.

...

It was an empty cookie pot.

That's the kind of gift I had been expecting, when I got the necklace, so I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was.

"That's Biscuit's gift~. I tried to fill it, but they ate the biscuits, so..."  
It wasn't even a new cookie pot. It was the same vase we normally used to store the cookies in. Just empty.

Oh? Well, it's not empty.  
It had... a small skull, shining silver, right at the bottom of the pot.  
"You were supposed to find that after eating the cookies~..."

I smiled.

How cute. But, this seemed more expensive than the necklace. I don't know what metal was used to make it, but it looked like silver. It was small, but bigger than the bone that came with the necklace.

It had a small, short chain attached to it.

"You can hang it from your frying pan... or somewhere else."

I finally turned to him. He wasn't blushing, for once. His ears were slightly pink, though.

Instead of gushing like before, he was looking at me, completely serious. His eyes were so deep I could get lost in them. He wasn't smiling, well... he was, but not as widely as he usually did, his lips had a small, almost imperceptible, curve.

Although, his eyes were the ones that truly betrayed his true thoughts. They were... soft and deep, and for a moment I felt myself blushing.

He chuckled.

He leaned in, my eyes were completely enraptured by his, unable to look away. His lips were barely a hair's distance away from mine.  
His eyes were so gentle that it made me feel completely flustered. Too intense.

What...

My heart was beating at an impossible speed, completely out of control. I almost feared I would have a heart attack.

What is...?

He put a hand on my cheek, drawing even closer.

What is he doing?

...

Wait, wait waitwaitwait! Stop, Stop, Stop! Time out!

What the hell is happening?!

I tensed. I could feel the steam coming out of my ears, swirls in my eyes.

"May I..."

Black spots covering my vision, and I realized. I was about to black out. I didn't even bother putting up a fight. Instead I did the thing that I felt needed to do the most.

"May I faint for a while, please?"

Ask permission.

"Why~, if you ask so nicely, of course, my dear~"

So I did.

* * *

' _After fainting and waking up in your bed your Hp and Mp are restored.'_

' _You no longer have the status [Too little sleep]'_

What... happened?

Argh... my head hurts.

Yawn.

I... think I had a strange dream.

"Wakey Wakey little princess~ how was your morning, dear~?"

"Strange."

"Hi hi hi~ I understand. You have been sleeping for quite a while~ you were pretty tired, weren't you~? Poor little Lia~."  
I feel like I'm being patronized.

Well, no matter, I actually feel quite refreshed.

"Where's Biscuit?"

"The dog was being very annoying, so I kicked it out~"

I flatly glared at the mortician.

"In the backyard~" That's good, I guess.

Yawning, I got up from the bed.

I considered if it was worth it, to change into daily clothes, when it was already...

"What time is it?"

"Almost nighttime~"

I felt myself widening my eyes.

"Nighttime?! I slept the whole day away!"

"Hi hi hi~ it's not like I opened the shop anyways, so you don't have to worry~"

"Still!"

He walked closer, tapping my nose with his finger.

"Now now~ what is done cannot be changed. What it's important now is, what will you do, from now on~?" He moved his hair out of his eyes, looking at me. Why did I feel like that had double meaning?

I blinked, tilting my head to the side.

Well, double meaning or not, it was a valid question. Should I try to go back to sleep? Perhaps I should exercise, so I will be more tired when it's time to go to bed?

I feel completely awake and full of energy, so I don't think I can go back to sleep just like that.

I looked at Undertaker, about to ask him if we could sneak a training lesson right before going to sleep.

Instead I found myself blushing. Was he always this close? Yes, I think he's always pretty close... but then, why does it only now bother me?

Jumping out of bed, I ran downstairs, hearing a startled cry from behind me.

I started frantically cleaning everything.

Am I getting sick? No, the game hasn't alerted me... but again, it usually takes a few days, for the effects of the sickness to manifest in-game... no, the effects of the sickness manifest the moment other effects start appearing, too.

Which means that if I was sick, I should have gotten the alert. At least if I was showing other symptoms.

It could be that Undertaker has... gotten me sick, with whatever he has, and because it's a reaper sickness, the game doesn't recognize it? No, no. That doesn't make sense either...

Was I dying?  
Stop thinking, scrub harder.

By the time Undertaker walked downstairs, I was breathing heavily, and the front shop's floor was spotless.

I went to the kitchen to throw the wrapping paper that had been forgotten.

Not because I was fleeing from Undertaker, that would be stupid.

...

I don't know why I thought that.

Biting my lower lip, I looked around for something else to do.

I was painfully aware of Undertaker, who was peeking inside the kitchen, hiding behind the doorframe, looking suspiciously at me.

What's with that face?

I didn't do anything.

"Bi-Biscuit!"

A thud was heard, coming from the backyard door.

Opening said door, revealed a terribly happy Biscuit. Tail wagging at top speed, eyes looking up to me like I was a goddess incarnate. Poor thing hadn't seen me all day long.

I sat them on a kitchen chair, and as I looked for a brush, I realized who was, most likely, to be in possession of the object I was looking for.

I glanced at Undertaker from the corner of my eye.

He was sporting a wonderful poker face, leaning against the doorframe that connected the kitchen and the shop so casually, that if I hadn't seen him glaring suspiciously at me five seconds ago, I would have believed it.

Walking up to him, I extended my hand.

"Th-the brush, please."

"I don't have it."

...

Please don't do this to me.

Even his voice was completely devoid of inflection, making it hard for me to decide if he was being serious or not.

Seeing as he normally had a creepy drawl, when denying possession of the brush, I decided to believe him. If only for my sanity.

Sadly, even when looking around the whole shop, the brush was nowhere to be seen.

...

I turned to Undertaker again. I tried to put my own best poker face.

We stared at each other.

We both know Undertaker had the brush. A fact he was denying.

If I wanted to get the brush back, I would need to search him.

The problem is, I can't currently even look at Undertaker without blushing, so if I actually search him, I would have to acknowledge the fact...

Acknowledge _a_ fact that I was denying. But not really, because there was nothing to acknowledge.

I could almost imagine one of these Wild West songs, when two people are about to fight, when the tension is almost palatable and death hangs in the air.  
The only difference was… that this wasn't a movie, and I couldn't just turn the TV off if I didn't like what was on.

...

"I would... greatly appreciate... if you would... kindly give me the brush."

"I'm afraid I do not know what you mean, my lady."

Alright. Enough talking.

Negotiations are off.

Taking the first step, I got closer to Undertaker.  
Before I got too close, I took a deep breath, holding my breath. I would need that.

I was looking at the floor, but from the corner of my eye I saw him raise a hand to his face, probably moving his hair away from his eyes. Unleashing the full power of his stare.  
I definitely can't look at him, now.

Once in front of him, I started by expertly removing his uniform, as good as it was to hide his... figure, the faster I can do this the better.

I made sure the brush wasn't in the robe I just removed. Of course it wasn't, it would be too easy.

I felt the need to breathe, to sigh, to do anything, but I contained myself, my oxygen supply was limited.

I faltered for a second, but I ultimately decided to start looking where he had hidden the brush the last time.

My face was already red, and it wasn't from holding my breath.

I tried not to think about what I was doing, I tried very hard, but I couldn't help fidgeting, taking notice of... nonononono I'm not thinking! I'm definitely not thinking my boss has a nice ass even if it's true! Waaaah! I don't think I can do this!

I need air. Fresh air. Snow-filled, chill-inducing, ice-cold fresh air.

Think of ducks.

I quickly tried to mess up his coat-like clothes he wore under the robe, in an attempt to reveal where the brush was.

I was definitely NOT looking at his face. I was sure he was outwardly reacting to my completely red face and frantic searching, but I don't think looking at his face is going to help me any.

I tried to quickly sweep his arms, ignoring the hard muscle and soft skin under the fabric.

His robes had hidden it but he was quite lean. My hands told me he was still fit, though...

Argh! Look harder!  
It wasn't anywhere!

I finally made the mistake of breathing in, smelling a soft smell that I could only describe as 'Undertaker'. It smelled sweet, like the cookies he always baked, but it also had a... citrus scent... and... I think there's also the smell of that cream he puts on the bodies. He also had something that reminded me of the sea… it was quite nice.

The citrus smell... reminded me of safety... of warm hugs in a soft bed in the early morening... of fun evenings and peaceful nights...

I found myself inching closer, closing my eyes... until I realized what I was doing and violently jerked back, going back to searching like nothing happened. Ignoring everything.

Where is it? Why can't I find it? Maybe he was speaking the truth, and he didn't have it?  
Was all of this for nothing?

My whole face was pulsing with all the blood accumulated there.

This is horrible. Why is this happening? I need to... I need...

I finally worked up the courage to look up at Undertaker. And felt like fainting again.

There, right between his teeth, was the brush.

I felt like my eyes were about to pop out of its sockets. A dying whine escaped me.

When had he...?

Of course, when he moved his hair aside, he wasn't doing just that, he was also putting the brush in the last place I would ever look. Right in his face.

I had been so ashamed to even look at him, that it hadn't even crossed my mind to look at him, and he knew that.

The worst of all, was that he had known that I wouldn't look there.

I ran outside. Screeching like a banshee.

Once in the backyard I threw myself face-first against the snow, letting it cool me down.  
Idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot _Idiot_!

I'm being stupid.  
All of this. Was terribly stupid.

Alright. I had to admit it.

I found Undertaker attractive.

Alright? There's no crime in that. It's nothing to be ashamed of.  
He's... physically attractive, I'm sure even Kim would agree. There was nothing wrong with that.  
I wasn't about to be punished or anything, just becaus I thought that Undertaker was kind of hot. Calm down, or you will only dig yourself a deeper grave.

That thing with the brush, though...

I felt myself start laughing, despite the cold on my face.

A pair of hands wrapped around my stomach, helping me up.

"I have to admit that, while I'm usually all supportive of the wonders of laughter, I don't think that is the... most adequate reaction to what happened. Although, neither is throwing yourself against a pile of snow~ hi hi~"

He brought a nail to his lips, tapping it absentmindedly. He was barely keeping his laughter in cheek.

I snickered, too. I had to admit. All of this was so ridiculous that it somehow crossed the border of total embarassement and became funny.

"You win."

"Oh~? I do~? And what do I win exactly~?"

A snowball to the face.

...

"Well, that is a... too wonderful of a prize, for so little effort~ I'm afraid I will have to return the prize~" as he said this, he gathered a ridiculous amount of snow, throwing it at the place I had previously occupied.

No way am I letting that monstrosity hit me. It would knock me right out of my feet.

Throwing another snowball that he expertly dodged, I ran inside, in an attempt to get away from the fight I had started.

Sadly I was tackled to the ground... I was half expecting Biscuit to be the one to tackle me, but it was actually Undertaker. He was damn nimble, for an old man.

I started laughing. It was a fairly hysterical laughter. The floor was cold and my face was warm.

"Are you done, running away~?"

"No way, you'll have to work harder to catch me."

His eyes widened, and his smile followed suit after a second.

"Big words, coming from the little rabbit I just caught~"

"I'm not a rabbit! I would rather be a cat, they can fight back, at least."

"No, you are definitely a cute little rabbit." He got rewarded with a childish pout in response. "It doesn't matter, anyway. They both taste the same, dear~ hi hi hi~"

...

I'm not sure if I want to know how he knows what a cat tastes like...

Or the rabbit for that matter.

Not questioning.

Finally getting up, and shoving Undertaker aside and off of me, I went to Biscuit, who seemed torn between staying where I told them, or joining the fun. What a good dog.  
Better behaved than the reaper.

I carefully brushed their hair, as short as it was, it was quite cute. It was more "stuffy" than Undertaker's, if I could call it that, but it was still soft. And silver.

I offered Undertaker to also brush his hair, once I was done with Biscuit.

He took Biscuit's place, letting me have access to his wild mane.

As I hadn't brushed it since yesterday, it was all tangled up and messy, but not as much as the first time I brushed his hair. That had been a hell to take care of.

Combing through his silver locks I was grateful I had somewhat acknowledged my feelings, if I hadn't realized what was happening, I would have fled like the coward I am. Then I would have missed the chance to keep doing this.

I was... a little nervous, but now, I knew why, so I wasn't scared... at least not as much as before.

I... wasn't sure what I was supposed to do now. I mean... I like Undertaker, but... I wasn't going to do anything about it, right?

This... is a bit confusing. What should I do? If I had Kim, I could have asked her...

Although... she probably would have thrown a party in celebration. Her only advice would have been "screw him". In the sense of... Yeah.

Maybe it wasn't completely bad, that Kim wasn't here. At least she couldn't laugh at me.

...

The only one I could ask for help would be... the current focus of my dilemma.

Undertaker.

Now... I wouldn't do that, would I?

No, of course not.

I wouldn't do anything. It would be for the best.  
It's not like anything _had_ to change, just because my hormones were messing with me.

His hair was already soft and tangle-free, but I kept going through the motions, if only to gain a little more time.

Really, nothing had changed, just because I realized this... the world hadn't stopped, the sun hadn't exploded, and the end of the world seemed as far away as before.

The only thing that really changed...

Letting the brush aside, I started playing with his hair.

Yes. The only thing that changed was how I saw my reactions to Undertaker.

Just because I found out I liked him, didn't mean anything had to change.  
Attraction was all fine and dandy, but I wasn't one to fool around. And that is without going deep into the great, complicated mess that was the fact he was a Reaper.  
He would probably see me die of old age. It would be terrible, even if there wasn't any complicated feelings in there.

It... must be hard, to know everyone you love will one day leave you.

Everyone will die, their kids and friends will die, too. And in the midst of it, Undertaker, forever young as he sees them die. Knowing there's nothing to be done...

How… tragic.  
I don't do tragic.

I looked at the reaper my head couldn't stop thinking about. I could only see his back, and the back of his head.

I pulled slightly at his hair, at the same time I leaned over his shoulder, wrapping my arms softly around his neck in a hug.

He let his weight fall on me, so it looked like he was sleeping against me. Or like I was strangling from behing, now that I think about it...

"Don't think too much, dear~. Or you will find yourself not thinking funny things."

"What a horrible tragedy."

"The worst kind of tragedy. What a terrible world would we live in, if laughter didn't exist."

I let him fall against my lap, so I could see his face.

"Maybe not as terrible as you may think."

He snickered. And yawned.

Oh, how cute. He was terribly cute, when he yawned.

I blushed, was I fangirling? I hope I'm not...

Combing my fingers through his hair, I felt myself smiling for no reason, blushing.

"Are you tired, Undertaker?" Nope, I'm not saying that"...At your age you shouldn't be up at this hour. You're not a youngster anymore." My smile widened, teasing.

He snickered, flicking my forehead with his finger.

I had wanted to say he could sleep, that I would be there, guarding his dreams, but found myself blushing, saying something different. It was too... sappy.

He extended a hand upwards, bypassing my face for a second, but finally resting his palm against my cheek.

"You're so cute, little Lia..." he closed his eyes.

I couldn't help but think... he was way cuter. With his closed eyes and peaceful smile, I don't think anyone can deny the old reaper's cuteness.

Biscuit rested their head against my thigh, sitting on the floor.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I leveled up [Meditation] twice, before I started feeling drowsy.

"Dalia?"

I immediately opened my eyes, finding myself face to face with Undertaker.

"Yes...?"

"I don't think I can understand you"

...

I smiled. "That makes two of us, then"

He snorted. Then he breathed in, turning his head a bit to the side.

He let out a sigh.

I felt my hand itch, wanting to caress his cheek, but I didn't get a chance to, as he got up. Stretching, he gave both Biscuit and I a cursory look.

He grabbed the passed out Biscuit with a hand, carrying them like a sack of potatoes. They didn't even stir.  
His other hand, he offered to me.  
I took it, and followed him to the bedroom.

I felt myself go bright red. Oh, that's true, we sleep together, don't we?

Carelessly throwing the sleeping Biscuit on the bed, he started removing his clothes.

I hastily looked away.

Uh... shouldn't I eat something? Or... something... anything that gets me out of the room for a while...

Yeah, definitely. I just woke up, I'm hungry, and all that.

"Where are you going~?"

Well... would you look at the time... shouldn't I be doing... anything _but_ stay here while he's changing?

"Cookies."

I ran to the kitchen, opening the cookie pot... to find it empty.

...

Damn Biscuit.

I ran upstairs.

"There's no cookies!"

Undertaker chuckled. "Of course not, I did tell you Biscuit ate them all, didn't I~?"

"There's no cookies..."

"There's no cookies."

…

"No cookies?"

"No cookies."

...

I don't think I'm understanding this correctly.

"And... no biscuits?"

He snickered, and mysteriously made a little box full of biscuits appear from behind him.

I tackled him, making us both fall on the bed.

"You're the best!"

He kept snickering.

I sat up with Undertaker at my back, cageing me. And, as I stuffed my face, I felt a pair of arms around my stomach. I blushed.  
A glance upwards proved those arms belonged to none other than Undertaker.

I offered a biscuit to the reaper. He accepted it, giggling all the way.

As I sat on the bed, Undertaker sitting behind me with his back to the headboard, I thought.

This... had been a fairly strange Christmas, not a conventional one for sure, and I might have done a few things now I'm definitely regretting... but it hadn't been bad... if we forget the moment where I thought I had ruined everything... and the moment where I had to search my brush... and the embarrassment I felt when I had been denying the obvious... and... Alright, this Christmas had been a disaster.

But...

I glanced at Undertaker, who was trying to steal one of my bone-shaped biscuits.

I wouldn't have it any other way.


	19. Chapter 18

**Thanks to all of the reviews! I love every single one of them!**

 **asagi uchiha: Here it is! x3**

 **xForeverGamerx: I feel you so much! Dalia still has a bit to go before she gathers her guts though.**

 **SmilingDragon67: And I love the love! I won't be writting any lemon, but I will write scenes in which you definitely get the picture.**

 **silverwolf-fox: Thank you for reading it! I know I've said this a million times, but I love seeing all of your reviews!**

 **thetankgirl: Honestly, so did I while writting it. I just love how if Dalia had just looked at Taker's face from the very begining, none of this would have happened. The more she struggles...**

 **guadadominguez4: I'm afraid Dalia is as dense as a rock! I'm very sorry for the considerable amount of brain cells you'll lose with them. I just can't comprehend when Dalia became cute enough to get away with almost anything, but she's so cute that she won't even abuse it! Maybe to get cookies...**

 **Howard: I understood your english perfectly! Thanks for leaving a review, it really made my day! Thank you very much!**

 **Guest** **: I know! She's just a bit slow... and a coward. She doesen't put so many points in Str becasue her mantality is: I dunwanna fight - Useless at combat - Let's avoid fighting - Why would I put points at Str? I suck at combat. - Useless in combat. I'm gonna fix this later, giving her something to do with all of that Int, because at this point, there's no fixing her stats.**

 **Guest (2?): I have deliberatedly left accents out of the attention, because I would rather people think up an accent that they think fits her, so they can still make Dalia a bit "theirs". When I read a fanfic featuring an Oc (if the fic is well done), there a point in which I feel like I'm also a part of the story, somehow. I want other** **s to also feeling like this, by not restricting my reader's imagination.**

 **Sorry for the rant, here is the chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: Black Butler belongs to its owner. The owner is not me.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"What's this?"

"What is what~?"

"This"

"And what is this~?"

"That's what I asked!"

"Hi hi hi~ it's a love letter~"

"..."

"I asked the earl to do me a little favor~ this must be the reply~"

No love letter?  
I... want to say that I felt suspicious, but I surprised myself by feeling relieved.

Even if it's none of my business.

"Alright..."

"Were you expecting a love letter~? Maybe from meeee~?"

I blushed, throwing the clothes I had been trying to mend right at his face.

' _[Throwing] has leveled up by one.'_

"You wish."

"I do~"

"Go away, you creep."

"Aww~ after I was so nice~..."

I picked up the projectile I had thrown at the Reaper. It was his hat.

Biscuit had decided it was delicious.

A comfortable silence settled between us.  
Until the reaper broke it.

"...After New Year, something you said left me thinking... what else you don't usually celebrate~?"

"Eh?" What?

"You don't celebrate Christmas. There must be more holidays you don't celebrate. I want to know~"

"Ah... Well... I don't... really celebrate anything... I mean... I do acknowledge when my birthday is" if I remember... "but... I don't usually celebrate anything... maybe New Year's Day?"

That New Year Eve's celebration had been... strange. Undertaker had wanted me to do a bunch of strange things. He hadn't let me do any laundry, or any kind of work, for that matter... and had insisted I put money in my pocket... which I honestly don't understand, it was already in my inventory, what's the difference?

The funniest thing was probably Undertaker's face, particularly when Mr. Dimwit entered our home to demand a rematch. It looked like Undertaker was about to use the scarf I had given him for Christmas to throttle the blond reaper.

It was... pretty fun, and not as crazy as Christmas... although it was quite strange... I feel that throwing a cake against a door was a complete waste of perfectly fine food AND door... but even Mr. Dimwit ended up joining the fun!

Although he did get beaten half to unconsciousness before accepting to participate.

All in all, the New Year started as hectic as the year before had been.

"Don't talk to me about New Year's..." Undertaker hadn't liked Mr. Dimwit's entrance, at all. He got all depressed every time the subject was brought up.

Undertaker was sure this year was going to be a disaster. Some strange tradition or another.  
I don't really get it.

"Aww, come on, I'm sure it's not that bad!"

He was pouting rather childishly.

As Undertaker turned to greet his newest customer, I started thinking.

Absentmindedly walking to the kitchen table, I sat on a chair. Wouldn't want to be in the way.

Were there more holidays I didn't celebrate? Of course.

What holidays did I know about...?

Uh... Christmas, New Year's Day... uh... eh...  
There was more than that...

Give me a second...

Uh... Halloween?  
What else...

"Do you celebrate Saint Valentine's Day, where you come from?"

"Yes, of course."  
Mhmmm... another holiday I know...

Wait what?

"Eh? Valentine?"

Undertaker was sitting on the kitchen table, next to me. When had he gotten there?

"Don't sit on the table, you may break it, you fat old man."

He made a very dramatic cry.  
"I'm not fat! Muscle weights more than fat! All of this is muscle! I'm fit! Not fat!"

He wasn't fat... that didn't mean he could just sit on the table.  
"If you break the table, will you really be able to keep saying that?"

"I'm fit! Not fat! I'm fit not fat!" He had his hands over his ears, kicking his legs childishly.

"You're not even listening to me, are you?"

"I'm fit! Not fat! I'm fit not fat!"

I sighed. He smiled.

"Going back to what you said, yes I know of Valentine's day. But I never really had a reason to celebrate it."

Until... well... Recently. More or less.  
I blushed.

Valentine's Day was in February, wasn't it?

What should I...?

I'm not sure what is expected of me, in the day that celebrates love. I know in some places it's also celebrated friendship. The day of Love and Friendship.

Uh...

"Never celebrated Valentine's?" I shook my head. Then he got a... strange expression. His eyes were half lidded, but were shining quite maliciously. The smirk he was sporting didn't reassure me at all.

Uh... maybe I should run while I have the chance? Just in case...?

"Hi hi hi~"

"What's up with that face...?"

"Nothing~"

If that isn't one of the scariest expressions I have seen on Undertaker's face yet, I will run naked around the shop.

Trying to get up, proved to be a bad idea, in under half a second, Undertaker had thrown himself at me, straddling the chair I was sitting on, preventing me from leaving.

The smile he had could break a normal human's face in two.

"So... uh..."

"Hi hi hi ~ how cuteee~" he put both his hands on my cheeks, squishing and pulling.

"Abhuse! Takeh shtop..."

"Hi hi hi ~okay~. Although, I have to wonder how such a cute little assistant has never celebrated Saint Valentine's Day~"

"Because I'm an awkward, lonely girl that can't get a man to save her life. Kim's words, not mine." Although Kim said "get laid" instead of "get a man" but... semantics.

"Aww~ poor little Lia~" As he rested his cheek against mine. With him as close as he was, I could swear I heard him mutter "I wonder why~".

That had seemed like a sarcastic remark... but I'm not sure I was supposed to pick up on it, so I said nothing.

"What do you usually do in Valentine's Day?"

He leaned back, putting sweet space between our faces. Putting a nail to his lower lip, he hummed.

"Weeell~... Here, we usually give Valentines. They are a greeting card with a poem written on it~."

I scrunched up my nose. "Poems?"

That sent Undertaker over the edge, as he started laughing, falling off of the chair and hitting the floor. He didn't seem hurt, though, as he kept rolling around without a care.

"Hahahaha! Your face little Lia! Hi hi hi~ what a cute little face~ he he he~"

I blushed. My face wasn't that funny, was it?

I coughed, but that didn't seem to do anything to snap Undertaker from his laughter frenzy.

Well, his laughter did recede into giggles, but I doubt I had anything to do with that.

"Hi hi hi~. How is Saint Valentine's Day celebrated in your home?" HE didn't even get up, as he asked that question.

"Uh... well it depends. Most couples just exchange gifts or simply dedicate the day to being with each other, go out together... things like that. Something special between the two… Or little details.

Sometimes a Rose is given. I know there's a tradition somewhere, where girls gift books to boys, while boys gift roses to girls... or was it the other way around? My favorite is Japan, though. In there, girls gift chocolate to boys and, a month later, the boy returns with another gift. I don't know why, but it's usually white... like white chocolate. I don't really like white chocolate... ah! But I think it hasn't been invented yet! Valentine's Day, I mean... in japan. It's a shame... I like the chocolate... not the white one, though."

"White chocolate? How peculiar~. Here we also give chocolate boxes, though~"

"Really?! Ah..." I can feel my mouth watering...

It's a shame no one will give me chocolate. Maybe Undertaker if I plead pitifully enough.

This has to be one of the worst things of being single. Sigh.

Although... well, it's not that bad! That just means I have to get the chocolates myself. Therefore, it's highly unlikely I will get chocolates I don't like.  
Besides, I can just stuff my face full of chocolate and no one can bat an eye for it. I buy it, I eat it.  
A gift from me to myself.

Isn't it wonderful? I can celebrate my loveless, friendless life, the very day of love and friendship.

Ah. Irony, what a cruel mistress you are.

"Do you want me to give you chocolates, in Saint Valentine's Day~?"

I instantly became suspicious.

"And... what would you ask of me, in exchange?"

"My, my~ what makes you think I would ask anything of you, dear~? Do you really think me that manipulative~?"

"Because you always ask for something. And... Uh, yes. Unless that was a rhetorical question, in which case, I would not have to answer, but... it would still be yes."

He left his mouth hanging open, hand on his chest, even with his hair covering his eyes, he looked... affronted? But the expression was too exaggerated, so I think he wasn't serious.

Instantly changing expression, he brought his hands together, aww'ing.

"Awww~ you know me so weeell~ my little assistant is so cute~. I might have to step up my game, if you realized this quickly~"

"Please don't." I don't think I will be able to keep up.

"Hi hi hi~" He brought his hand to his face, moving his hair aside. Looking rather haughty, he got up, slightly patting his clothes off of nonexistent dust. I take my job cleaning very seriously, there's no dust, thank you.

"So~?"

"So...?"

He smirked, barely containing a giggle. "Do you want me to give you chocolates, or not~?"

"Uh..." Well, normally that question would be completely unnecessary, as my answer would be a quick 'yes'. But... "Depends on what you're asking in exchange."

"Aww~ I just want you to come with me in a personal adventure of mine~." "No way."

"So quick to dismiss me~..."

"I remember what happened last time I 'came with, in an adventure of yours'. Biscuit got almost kidnapped. And I'm not even touching the fact that I got dragged to 'adventure' thrice, when the original contract was _one_ adventure."

"It _was_ one adventure~. It's not my fault the killer decided to off two more before we caught on~. Besides, you did get ice cream, didn't you~?"

"It wasn't worth it."

"Aww~ come on. This specifically concerns you. Wouldn't you want to know more about the man that wrote that diary~?"

"The man... that wrote the diary...?"

"Zephyr. I have been doing a little investigation myself, you see~. In fact, I may have asked a favor from the Queen's doggy, and have a few suspicions of their current whereabouts."

"Doggy?"

"Woof-woof"

"Whereabouts?"

"Here in England, specifically. Hi hi~"

"Why... would you go through all that trouble...?"

"Isn't it obvious, my dear~?"

"Not really, no."

"Hi hi hi~. Then it will be quite interesting, when you do find out. I can't wait~" He got a dopey look in his eyes, smiling.

Maybe... he wants to get rid of me?  
Ouch. That... hurt a little more than expected.

But it was obvious that no one would want to have me near them, leeching off of them.

"Ah..." way to ruin your mood, Dalia.

"Then you will receive your fancy box of chocolates on February 14th~"

"Wa- wait! I didn't accept!"

"It's a date~"

"Waaait!"

I extended a hand towards the prancing away mortician, but he was already too far away.

Sigh.

I'm not used to so much celebrations. Isn't this a little bit overwhelming?

Sighing again, I got up, walking to the front of the shop, where Undertaker was looking at a coffin he had recently received.

"Mhmm... red or pink~? What do you think, my cute little assistant~?"

"Uh..."

"Good choice, I knew I could trust your judgment~ hi hi~"

What. I didn't say anything!

Sigh. I don't know why I still get surprised...

Maybe it was sarcasm? I don't know, it didn't look like it. At least not to me...

Undertaker pranced around, looking at the body, muttering creepy nothings to himself.  
Suddenly he stopped. He had a rather... intense look.

"Are you alright?" He didn't outwardly react.

Walking up to him, I waved a hand in front of his face. "Undertaker?"

Finally blinking, he turned to me, tilting his face confusedly, like there was nothing wrong.  
"Yes~?"

"Ah... Are you... alright?"

"Yes, of course~"  
Ah... must have been my imagination then...

I looked at the body, a young woman.

"Do you need help?"

He suddenly closed the lid, preventing me from closely examining the woman.

"No need to, dear~"

"Ah... alright..."

He was obviously hiding something. There was something in that coffin he didn't want me to look at.  
If he doesn't want me to look, then I'm not looking.

He didn't say anything, just brought a hand over my head, slowly petting it. It felt so nice... I couldn't help but blush, my heart picking up speed.

"So~..."

I blinked. "So?"

"So~ what do you see yourself doing in a few years?"

What?

"That was a horrible conversation starter."

"Hi hi hi~ humor me, dear~"

"Uh... I don't know..." I would never be able to go back to my dimension... so my previous goals in life would have to be slightly altered.

Just slightly. I wasn't ambitious.

"I want to become an old granny with lots of dogs."

"Just that?"

"Yep. I'm open to any alterations life may throw at me, but that is the base of my ultimate life goal."

"... he he he... hi... hi hi hi hahahaha" it started slowly, almost disbelieving, but he ended up devolving into a fit of giggles.

"Hi hi hi~… As you wish."

He said that a lot, didn't he?

Frowning, I couldn't help but try to lead the conversation somewhere else. I don't like being laughed at.

"And what do _you_ wish?"

He stopped laughing almost abruptly and blinked, surprised. Then he started snickering again.

"I wish there was more people who thought like you~."

"That's stupid. Then I would stop being 'me'."

He tilted his head to the side, waiting for an explanation.

I was derailing the conversation, and maybe not that smoothly, but I still opted for taking his words literally.

"If everyone thought like me, nothing would set me apart from the others. Society wouldn't evolve, as no-one would ever think any different than everyone else, creating new ideas, because everyone would think the same. Everyone would agree on everything, and the world would become a fairly boring place."

"Oh~? I never thought about it~. You may be right and everything, dear. Diversity _is_ a great source of fun~."  
Sigh. Did he only listen to the part about the world becoming a boring place? Maybe.

It's hard to know, when it comes to Undertaker.

It was strange. Even when talking about absolutely nothing with Undertaker, we still managed to have fun.

"Mhmm... little Lia~..."

"Yes?"

"What would you do, if you liked someone~?"

What? How? Why?  
How did he know? Did Tofu tattle on me? Joking.

No really! Why did he ask this now? I'm panicking right here.

"Why...?"

"No reason at all~just wondering what would you be like, if you did like someone~"

Uh... well...

"I was about to say that it depends on who I have feelings for, but that's not true..." Undertaker was listening attentively. Maybe _too_ attentively.

"Uh... You see, If I don't know that person at all, I don't really think I can start a romantic relationship with them, I mean, they are... a stranger, I don't... trust them.  
If I can't even trust my partner, then that relationship is doomed from the very start."

"Trust is gained little Lia~" Just like he gained mine...

"I know"

"Let's suppose that I do know that person I have feelings for quite well, we could even say we're friends. Best friends even." Too close for comfort, that's way too close... "Should I really take the risk of ruining our already good relationship by meddling complicated feelings in it? I don't think I could..." Just like it's happening now...

"Let me put it like this: Ice cream is good." _Usually_ "Sprinkles are good." Undertaker blinked "I can admit that _sometimes_ ice cream covered in sprinkles makes the ice cream taste even better." That's a well known fact.  
"I think you lost me~. Why are we talking about ice cream~?"  
"...But more often than not, you need to eat the ice cream and the sprinkles separatedly to truly appreciate the taste of both, as usually one overpowers the other's flavor.  
Good ice cream makers can expertly balance the flavors, making the overall result a more enjoyable experience than the separate parts, but as not everyone has that skill, it sometimes is better to separate the sprinkles and the ice cream.  
Do you understand what I mean?"

"Nope~. You lost me when you started talking about ice cream. Now I'm hungry~"  
"... now I'm hungry too."

Nooooo! It's way too soon to eat...! I need to do something that will take away all my appetite.

"Hey... Taker... Can I practice healing the bodies?"

* * *

Poor Diedrich.

He had come to do something or another in Vilvent's stead. I swear, Phantomhive has poor Diedrich like a slave. I bet he hasn't eaten anything in days, if the way he's eating my snacks is any indication.

Poor Diedrich.

As if his life wasn't hard enough, now he was the current target of Undertaker's creepiness.  
I was half sympathetic. Only half though. I still remember that time he scared me... although he did help me that time Undertaker left me in charge...  
And I did get his name wrong a few times...

I would like to help him, but... if I got involved, Undertaker would most likely end up switching targets. And I didn't feel like being faced with Undertaker's creepiness.  
I have to live with the old man, I deserve a rest once in a while.

In fact, I should flee outside, to prevent both Diedrich and Undertaker from dragging me into a conversation I cannot hope to win or understand.

Although, I did leave some more sandwiches for them to eat, in case I took too long… Dier… Dirit… Diedrich seemed to really appreciate them. As he had already finished all the other snacks I had made.  
Now I understand what Taker said, about someone appreciating your food. I does give me nice warm feelings.  
He should go slower though. If he keeps going at this rate, he will end up choking.

As I went outside, I instantly considered returining inside, where it was warmer.  
At least this year's snow had left as soon as it had come, leaving the streets chilly, but not freezing.

I still wore a scarf around my neck and another shirt underneath my furisode. I still felt like I should go inside and steal Undertaker's coat/mute uniform aka: "the magical cloack of warmth and snuggles". I'm still rethinking its name.

Undertaker's clothes are always unexpectedly warm, considering he's always colder than death.  
Sadly, I wasn't wearing Undertaker's boots. They were a hassle to put on, I don't understand how Undertaker does it.

There were some people around, walking, talking, and living.

Women were walking, hanging from a man's arm or by each other's side.  
Gentlemen were strolling around, some with more purpose than others. Some bantering with their female companions, some exchanging witty remarks with their male friends.  
Kids ran up and down, talking, laughing and playing.  
Carriages rode the streets, adding a musical under note to all the bustle.

I looked around, drinking in the beauty of this place. London... for all its downsides, this city is truly beautiful.

I didn't make a habit of walking around, looking at my surroundings, as that usually just lead to me getting lost, but now I had time to kill, as I have no purpose. As long as I don't get lost-...

Wait a second.

Am I lost?

...

I looked around.

Uh...

Nothing here rings a bell...  
And I have no idea how to go back.

Well... I _am_ lost.  
I hadn't been out for that long, and I already managed to get lost.

I shouldn't have gone so far away from the shop. I had known that, and yet...

At least I had warned Undertaker I was leaving, right?

...

Right?

I can't remember if I did.

Oh, my.

This is... quite the situation.

How can I contact Undertaker to let him know I'm lost?

Maybe with the party?

"Invite Undertaker to party."

' _You are currently not in a party.'_

Argh. "Create party."

' _Give a name for your party.'_

"I'm lost."

' _Do you want to name the party "I'm lost"?' Y/N_

Yes.

Alright, now to invite Undertaker to the party.

Waiting for Undertaker to reply, I kept looking around. There were a lot of children. Maybe I was near a school?

That would be valuable information, if Undertaker had to find me.

I looked at the group of children, discussing animatedly about something they learned in class. It was heartwarming to see the kids so invested in their future.

' _Undertaker has joined the party "I'm lost".'  
_ Finally.

Opening the party menu, I tapped Undertaker's name underneath mine.

A screen opened, letting me either talk, or write what I wanted to send.

"I'm lost, I think I'm near a school. How do I get back?"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Not only did I have to wait a long time to get his answer, but it turned out to be just one letter.

I can almost imagine him pressing the letter "a", looking at the quickly filling screen without doing anything.

Of course he wouldn't know how to use this.

I got another bunch of random letters.

I think he's pressing everything, in hopes he can find which button will let him send the message. Or just playing around.

"You can talk."

"AhOsjlsqjmLQBAÑZPWH"

"Press the button on the far left."

"Little Lia?&.hfghaf wzksjdl"

"When you want to send a message press the far right button, you don't need to press everything."

"Excuse me, miss."

My head shot up like lightning, looking at the slightly timid voice that had come closer than expected.

"Y-Yes?" Did I sound scared? I think I sound scared.  
I'm not scared... just surprised.

In a: "please-don't-kill-me" kind of surprised.

"Which one is higher, 4x8 or 8x4?" It was a kid.  
And I was just asked a question...

What?

A kid behind the one that talked to me pipped in. "It's 8x4! Because the higher number goes first!"

Another kid, absolutely furious with the second kid's answer shouted: "Shut up! You don't even listen in class, how would you know?!"

' **New Minor Quest! [Teach the Children]**

 **Quest Requisites:  
** **-Solve the dispute between the children.  
** **-Explain the reasoning behind your answer.  
** **-Teach something to the kids.**

 **Quest Rewards:  
** **-New title.  
** **-320 pence  
** **-500 exp points.'**

' **Quest accepted'**

I stared, confused. Seems like I had been chosen as a judge of a quarrel I had nothing to do with.

Seeing as it had turned into a quest, might as well help.

Besides... it was ridiculously easy.

"Both answers are the same, 32."

That seemed to confuse the two first kids, except the third, loud one, who seemed absolutely proud of himself. The last kid, who still had to talk yet, looked between me and the third kid.

"I told you!"

"Why?"

Why?

"Uh... both equations are the same, it doesn't matter the order in which they are put. If you have 32 pence, it doesn't matter if you make 4 groups of 8 pence, or 8 groups, in which there's 4 pence per group. In fact you could even have 2 groups of 16 pence, and you would still only be able to buy things worth 32 pence."

I'm not sure if I'm explaining this correctly, but... their faces are telling me they somehow understood.

Just in case, I had taken out 32 pence, grouping them as I was talking, showing what I meant.

"So it's like grouping..."

I nodded uncertainly.

"That makes sense... and we didn't have to sing! Hey, you're really smart, Miss!"

I blushed bright red.

I wasn't smart... I was just forced to use tricks like this, because memorizing was completely out of the question for me.

I decided to give 8 pence to each kid, as there were four of them, they seemed really happy.

"You can think of it like making groups to play a game, each group has to have the same number of players."

' **Minor Quest Complete! [Teach the Children]**

 **Quest Rewards:  
** **-New title: [Sensei].  
** **-320 pence  
** **-500 exp points.'**

"Are you a teacher, Miss?"

"Ah, no. I just... know a lot of things."

"Waaah! So cool!"

I felt myself going red. Was I? I... was cool? That's...

This is the first time I have been called "cool".

"You should become a teacher. It would be easier to learn with you than with Mr. Dumbbottom."

The fourth kid, who had yet to talk, seemed alarmed by the second one's words, and finally said something.

"Y-you c-can't call t-the teacher t-that!"

They argued for a little while more, before they decided they needed to go to their homes.

The kids all happily waved, saying their goodbyes. They were really cute.

"Goodbye Sensei!"

I blushed.

Wha- what?! S-sensei?  
That's not... I'm not a teacher!

And how do they even know what a Sensei is? And why would they call me that? Th-that's embarrassing…

Still red as a tomato, I went back to my conversation with Undertaker.

Seems like the old man finally got the hang of using this.

I ignored the jumbled mass of random letters at the beginning. Reading everything he had sent.

I felt a little bad at the end, as he didn't seem sure if he was sending this correctly, seeing as I hadn't answered. I couldn't have answered, I had been talking to the kids.

Oh! He was right.

I did have a marker to his shop, so I should be able to go back.  
The fact that he knew my abilities better than me was... pathetic.

Quickly typing an answer I opened the map.

Walking with the open map in front of me, I followed the marker to both Undertaker and the shop.

The greyed out map is really getting on my nerves, I have to ask Undertaker if we can somehow get a map of London. It was ridiculous that I got lost this easily.

On the way to the shop I decided to have a look at my new title.

' _[Sensei]: You learn new skills 10% faster. Your Skills, Stats and Relationships increase 15% faster when taught by a mentor. You teach Skills 20% faster. Your Skills, Stats and Relationships increase 25% faster when you are someone's mentor.'_

Wao… That's really interesting… I doubt I will really be teaching anyone anything, but… the learn boost is definitely interesting…

Should I change it by my current title? I mean… techinically, my current title helps me become less of a coward when around Undertaker, but… I somehow feel like I don't really need that crutch anymore.

I trust Undertaker. I'm safe around him… I don't think I need that title.

I'm putting on my new title.

I found Undertaker outside the shop, waiting for me with that creepy smile, clad in his usual uniform and his bangs over his eyes. Wilson had probably left already. Er… No. Die… Diedrich.

Diedrich had probably left already.

"Hello little Lia~" He blinked, tilting his head to the side. "Strange. It somehow feels…" He shook his head, dispelling the thought, creepy smile returning "Had fun~?"

I blushed.

I had been called sensei, today. I nodded.

Undertaker blinked, tilting his head to the side, smiling.

"Oh~? Do tell~ I really want to know what my little… assistant got into, that made her so happy~."

I contained a squeal, running inside the shop, leaving a flabbergasted Undertaker behind.

I was so excited I couldn't even talk. I was called Sensei!

Someone today looked up to me and called me "cool"!

I had my mouth open in a silent scream of excitement, my hands were waving at my sides like I was trying to fly with my arms. I felt absolutely giddy.

I wasn't sure how did a kid from the 1880's London know what a Sensei was, but the meaning had been clear, they had called me a teacher. In Japanese, but I was suspecting that it was because of the game ability, rather than the kids really calling me Sensei.

Or maybe it could be because of the new title?

I don't think Undertaker has ever seen me this happy and excited. I don't think I have ever been this happy and excited!

I felt like jumping around, dancing and singing, and hugging and laughing!

Poor Undertaker was dumbstruck. He didn't seem to know what to do with me, I was making an impossibly long, incredibly high-pitched cry.

He patted my head.

I couldn't keep still. I was so happy! I moved my legs, my arms, any limb I could actually move, wiggling in place, from sheer happiness.

"So... what happened~?"  
I tried to answer, I really tried, but only high-pitched noises were escaping my mouth, even when I was biting my lower lip.

Biscuit seemed desperate, joining in my cries with their own, jumping around, tail moving at a speed that made it hard to see, walking circles around me.

"I'm afraid that doesn't really explain much, little Lia~... hi hi~"

In the end, Undertaker seemed to give up his confusion, replacing it with amusement.  
He sat on a coffin, crossing one leg over the other, holding his head up with his hand, which rested on his leg.  
All in all, he seemed prepared to wait for as long as necessary, until he found out why I was making pterodactyl screeches.

I went up to him and just... messed up the hair over his eyes, making it go absolutely wild.

I couldn't help it, I was so happy and... Argh! It's not even something that should make me this excited.

But it did. Someone called me "cool", and even referred to me as "Sensei".

I don't think I will make much sense, if I try explaining myself.

Undertaker's eyes, now uncovered, were as wide as physically possible. I didn't blame him, usually I was the one to groom his hair, not... mess it up.

I didn't know if I should go look for the brush or... keep messing around with his long hair.  
Gosh, have I already said that I love Undertaker's hair?

"Now I _really_ want to know, little Lia."

"Nothing much..." It wasn't such a big deal... I was still happier than happy. Does that make sense? I don't think so. But I cannot bring myself to care.

"Come on little Lia~. Tell me~"

Smirking, I did something he had done to me a lot.

I put a finger over my lips, still smirking, and whispered. "It's a se-cret~"

"Aww~ she even learned that from me~. How cute~."

I transformed into my [Chibi Form], jumping into Undertaker's arms.

Well, actually I just shot straight into his stomach, but he caught me anyway.

From his arms, I saw as he walked towards a coffin, and sat on it. He then proceeded to take MY brush from one of his sleeves, and started brushing my hair.

Is the world ending or did our roles change?

"Little Lia~?"

I made a sound to show he had my attention.

"I want a few more of those potions of yours."

Was it for the bizarre dolls? I felt tempted to deny the request.  
But I was aware I had a crippling weakness, I simply couldn't refuse anything Undertaker asked of me.

"Okay~"

"Such a good girl~"

...

I feel like a dog.

"Woof"

Biscuit, for some unfathomable reason had decided to throw themselves straight into Undertaker's stomach, right where I was sitting.

Now that I think about it, it may be my fault.  
After all, I did just do the same thing.

We ended up all on the floor. I was sure Undertaker could have kept us from falling, but apparently he was feeling vindictive for not being told why I was so happy.

I got my face licked clean.

Argh, come on!

Even with my face completely covered in dog-child saliva, Biscuit didn't seem satisfied at all, as they tried to also lick my neck. And resistance was useless at this point.

"At least give Undertaker the same treatment."  
Nope. Apparently old men tasted funny, because Biscuit didn't lick him at all. Not even accidentally.

Instead I got my face, neck, hands and forearms completely wet.

I was just bathed in drool.

Biscuit even tried to lick my hair, but stopped when they almost swallowed my hair. Now they know what I feel every morning, waking up with Undertaker's hair literally everywhere. Mouth, clothes, face... if it's near the bed, there's white hair on it for sure.

"Thank you, Biscuit. You're a sweetheart." At this point I don't even know if I'm being sarcastic or not. I just know that I need to bathe. Now.

Leaving Tofu inside my coffin, where I was sure Undertaker would steal it the moment I got out of the room, I took a spare set of clothes.

I went upstairs to prepare the bath.  
Mhm... Maybe I should put my pajamas instead. It was a bit early, but I wasn't going anywhere.

Undertaker still had a funeral to attend to, didn't he? But he would probably close the shop.

...

Oh, well. My pajamas are comfier.

As I walked downstairs and into the front shop to get my sleeping clothes, I found the strangest scene: Undertaker glaring at my coffin, with Biscuit sitting on the floor, looking between the reaper and the previously mentioned coffin.  
On top of my coffin was Tofu.

Were they having a secret reunion, or something?

Both Undertaker and Biscuit stared at me, making it noticeable that I was indeed interrupting something. What was I interrupting? No idea.

I made my way to my coffin, rather self-consciously. I was looking at everyone, everyone was looking at me.

I picked up Tofu, as I needed to open the coffin.

Hadn't I put Tofu _inside_ the coffin?

Huh. Undertaker had hurried up in moving Tofu... although I don't understand why he would put him _on_ my coffin, where I would easily find it.

I took out my pajamas, leaving everything as it had been, and walked out.

I don't know what Undertaker is doing, but as long as he doesn't break it, I don't mind if he plays with Tofu.

Making sure the coals in the bathroom wouldn't let me freeze to death, I prepared myself to get my well-deserved bath.

* * *

"I have to do _what_?"

"Don't sound so offended, little Lia, it's just a small favor, from a friend to another. Perfectly innocent~."

"Perfectly innocent? Are you listening to yourself?"

"You only need to touch it, just a small touch, little Lia~."

"No way am I touching..." A glance downwards "…that."

"Ouch, little Lia~. Right through the heart~. I'm very proud of it, I'll have you know~"

I looked at it.  
"I cannot see why."

"So cruel~. You can't go around insulting a man's pride and joy, Little Lia."

"You talk as if every man had a living corpse in their basement."

"Hi hi hi~ If they don't, they should." I stared blankly at him. This is ridiculous. "I bet all of you were thinking something indecent, weren't you~?"

"Who are you talking to, now?"

"No one~"

I sighed.  
"Can you explain to me again why should I get close to it, at all?"

"It's an experiment! Ex~pe~ri~ment~. The joy of science! The unexpected results! The thrill of having a rotting corpse walk up and eat someone alive!"

"I just hope I'm not the appetizer..."

"Come on, little Lia~ live a little!"

"Tell that to Mr. Dead and Smelly."

Apparently Undertaker wanted to know what happened when I healed corpses that weren't quite "dead". Bizarre Dolls.  
"Taker... I don't want to get close to it."

I was certain it would snack me. I had learned my lesson, when it came to zombies.  
I have had enough Zombies to last me a lifetime. In fcat, I had killed enough of them to put any Zombie movie to shame.  
What if they were out for revenge?

"Is my poor little Lia scared~?"

"Yes, definitely."

"I'll protect you~"

I pressed together my lips. I'm not sure who I was more scared of, him or the dolls.  
Definitely the dolls.

That doesen't mean I'm not wary of him.  
I still remember our first conversation involving the living corpses.

When it came to his "bizarre dolls", Undertaker acted... unpredictable.

I don't know what he saw in them, but he thought they were the next big thing after sliced bread.

It's not that he acted like they were his babies, as he was rather unaffected, when I killed one. But... he was way _too_ proud of them.

Once, Undertaker had been talking to me, when a "Bizarre Doll" attempted to kindly eat his brains.  
Instead of reacting like a normal person, when someone tries to eat their brains, he just kept talking, like the zombie... Bizarre Doll was just playing around.

It wasn't.

He even had the gall to pout when I smashed its brains into a pulp.

I had yet to decide how to act, towards his bizarre creations.  
But I knew I wanted nothing to do with them. At all.

"It's going to wake up and eat me, I know it."

"It's not. Little Lia, you have some serious trust issues, dear."

"Even if that was true, which is not, I'm sure this is not the way to face those issues."

"Just touch it."

"I'm not getting close to it."

"Then just heal it."

"I can't without touching."

"Then touch it."

"Weren't you listening to me?"

"Little Lia~..."

"No."

Undertaker sighed. I instantly became on edge.

"What do you want, in exchange?"

"Nothing."

"Everyone wants something, dear~"

"Yes, and I want to NOT touch a not-quite-dead corpse that wants to tear me apart and eat my juicy insides."

"It just wants your soul, not your bowels."

"Yes, of course, because that makes it so much better."

"Dalia."

As if I wasn't already tense enough, when I heard my name, I felt myself go ramrod straight.  
Uh-oh.

It was the way he said it, he sounded like a mother giving their child a last warning, before things turn sour.  
He really wants this, doesn't he?

But... this is a spelling for disaster! I will be fertilizer by the end of the day.  
"Make sure to make me a nice coffin that is not pink. I have a preference for green, blue and cream color. The wood-like cream color, not that monstrosity you call 'cream'."

The frown that had previously started to pull down Undertaker's mouth, suddenly dissolved, leaving behind the usual creepy smile.  
"I'll make you the best one~"

Warily approaching the resting corpse, I wished that whatever god I had angered before was taking a nap, or... on a bathroom break.  
Speaking of bathroom breaks...  
"Can I go to the bathroom?"

"Of course, Little Lia... After you do this. Afterwards you can attempt to flee in any way you want~"

Damn. He saw right through me.

I stopped a few steps away from the unmoving body. It... looked pretty dead...  
Is it even really alive?

I instantly pulled back. I looked right, then left. Then at the corpse again.  
The body was still unmoving.

...

For a second there I thought I had jinxed myself.

As I gave the corpse another inspection, just in case, I screamed bloody murder.  
A pair of hands had taken my hips, gently guiding me toward the corpse.

Looks like Undertaker's patience was not infinite. Then again, it had been a good few hours, in which I had absolutely refused to get close to the Bizarre Doll.

"Nononono, I can walk, I can walk by myself pleaseletmegopleasepleaseplease."

"I don't know~ you were taking too long~, so I thought I should help you along~."

"I can do it, I can do it, please don't shove me against Mr. Dead and Smelly."  
I don't think my heart can take it. I'm certain the corpse will wake up if I touch it, eating me alive... but if I don't, Undertaker will force me towards my certain death.  
I don't know if I would rather walk to the slaughterhouse on my own two feet, or make him drag me there kicking and screaming.

And now that I'm paying attention to it, his hands on my hips felt… alright no. This is not the moment. I'm walking, I'm walking on my own.

Once I had gotten rid of the Reaper's touchy hands, I slowly walked to the corpse. I was too close, way too close for comfort.  
If the zombie decided to wake up and attack me, I would have little time to react.

I couldn't even look pathetically at Undertaker, as I didn't feel safe getting my eyes off of my new most likely cause of death.  
I have had a lot of those, since I got here. Maybe I should give it a name.

MLCD? That has a nice ring, but I'm not totally sold... If we added some vocals here and there it would result in... Malcod. It's not bad, but I will never remember that name. Maybe I should...

Focus Dalia!

I uncertainly moved my hands, not actually touching the body, not knowing where to touch.  
In the end, I decided that the most reasonable thing to do would be to touch the feet.

Why the feet?

Because that way, there's enough distance between me and its hands and teeth, I can have a good look at the Zombie, and run like the mighty coward I am, if it even thinks of twitching.

I started working, using my healing skill. The body didn't stir, even when I put my hands on its leg.

The corpse was... dead, deader than death. Rotten, even. It had terrible wounds, which Undertaker had already sown together, but were clear as day in their paper-white skin.

As I used my skill, those wounds started healing. Undertaker got closer, getting a good look.

' _Your skill [Healing Magic] has leveled up by one.'_

By the end of it, the corpse didn't look rotten at all, and all of their injuries had closed, leaving almost invisible scars. It was still dead, though. It just looked recently dead.

As Undertaker was preoccupied with the results, I took that as my chance to get out of here.

I ran like a bat out of hell.

I let a sigh of relief escape me. That had been scary. I was sure the corpse would just eat me.

I think it was nothing short of a miracle, that the Bizarre Doll hadn't woken… although… I guess Undertaker must have a way to keep them "sleeping", or else he could unleash a zombie apocalypse unintentionally.

"There's no need to be so scared, little Lia~"

"Eep!" Turning around, revealed the Grim Reaper I lived with.

Undertaker chuckled, amused.

I hadn't noticed him follow me...

"... Uh..."

"Is it really that scary~?" His eyes were half lidded, when he asked this, gentle but curious.

Without thinking, I was about to say 'yes'.

I didn't need to think about it. But I did need to think my words carefully.

"I..." how to explain that I have seen too many movies where something horrible happened involving Zombies?

Sigh.

"I'm not... scared of the corpses..." just of the ones that move. "... it's just that..." this sounds like very pitiful excuses.  
I took a deep breath. I needed to think, to answer truthfully. What was my problem with his bizarre dolls?

I didn't have anything against them, really.

I just... didn't really like them as much as he did. And the fact that they wanted to have a taste of my soul didn't really help.

My biggest concern when it came to the dolls was... that Undertaker seemed absolutely in love with them. Like he couldn't see any fault or mistake with them. It didn't make any sense.

Because let's be honest here, the dolls are hideous. Well... not really hideous, but scary. Really scary.

Even so, they weren't perfect, they would never replace anyone he has lost.

But how to put all of this into words? I was quite confused myself. I was quite neutral towards them, as long as they kept their distance.

"I'm not scared of them... I'm..."

At the same time, I cannot help but wonder what does Undertaker see in them, why go to such lengths to bring them back, when they have lost themselves?  
Why did Undertaker only sing praises of them, when they were as obviously imperfect in death, as when they were alive?

I didn't like them. But I didn't know why.

"I... can't trust them."  
It was such a small part of the big problem I was facing, that I didn't know how to express it.

He tilted his head, as he usually did when confused.  
"And the real reason~?"

"I... don't know... they just rub me the wrong way."  
Undertaker patted my head, seemingly accepting that answer. That's good, because it's the only one I have.

He put his hand on his chin, rubbing it, seemingly mulling on what had happened.

Then he gave me a cookie.

Cookie!

"You were such a good girl today~. Good girl~" I feel like he's complimenting a dog, but it feels good anyways. And I got cookies, which is always a plus.

I yawned.

I had been cooped up in the morgue for so long, high on stress, that now I felt almost drowsy, now that I was out.

A pair of arms wrapped around my whole body, enveloping me completely and dragging me into a coffin that was standing upright, behind me.

"That's not our coffin."

"You're always complaining that it's pink~"

"I have nothing against pink, I just don't think it's for me."

"Pink is good for everyone!"

"Why are we talking about pink?"

"Because it's a wonderful color! Hi hi hi~"

"No, I'm pretty sure it's because you don't want me to ask what we are doing in a coffin."

"My, my~ why would I do such a thing~?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"Tell you what~?"

"Why are we in a coffin?"

"It's comfortable, in here~. And warm~"

The hands wrapped around me tightened their embrace, a cheek rubbing against mine.

I think I am the only reason why it's warm in here.

"I prefer the coffins that are parallel to the floor."

"Oh~?"

"That way I don't have to stand up."

He snorted an amused laugh "You lazy little Lia~"

"It's true. What coffins do you prefer?"

"I like my coffins all warm and cozy~"

As he said this, his arms tightened even more.

"If you don't mind, I don't think you want me throwing up my innards inside the coffin."

"Hi hi hi~ you're right~. The smell would be quite difficult to get rid of."

I closed my eyes. It's not like I was seeing anything, either way. Undertaker had shoved us inside the coffin, closing the lid. It was dark, and even if it wasn't, I would only see the lid of the coffin.

Undertaker was softly petting my hair, he liked to do that a lot. And he always ended up tangling my hair something fierce.  
It was no surprise then, that I always had a messy-looking hair.

I was slowly turned around, so I was facing Undertaker. I opened my eyes, I could barely make out his face, but his intense eyes were shining like gemstones.

I felt a hand rest on my cheek. Then it brushed my ear, as it reached towards my hair to play with it.  
He grabbed a single lock of hair, twirling it around his fingers. He giggled from time to time.

A thud was heard from outside the coffin.

"You didn't leave your 'friend' prowling around, did you?"

He giggled again. "No~. That's Biscuit. Although that is a quite interesting question, what would you do, if I did forget?"

"Scream and run, do you even need to ask?"

I opened the lid of the coffin, Biscuit was sitting outside, looking at us with the most adorable dejected face.

"Aww... hello there, Biscuit. We didn't leave... are you hungry?" I was aware my voice had shifted into a baby-talk mode, but Biscuit seemed to love being spoken in such a way. So adorable.  
The immediate tail-wagging proved me absolutely right.

"Awww~ my little Lia is so cute when she talks like this~" I, on the other hand didn't like being baby-talked to.

Undertaker got a blank stare.  
"Such double standards~"

I pouted, looking away.

I turned to Biscuit with a soft expression.

"Let's go eat, sweetie. Let's leave the big bad old 'taker to rot. He doesn't deserve food. He's such a meanie, isn't he? Of course he is~."

"Woof!"

"Ah~! Come on~ Little Lia~, I was joking~. No need to go to such extremes~"

I turned to him with a holier-than-thou attitude.

"I may allow you to eat, if we go to level up later."

"It will have to be tomorrow, dear~. Later I have a funeral to attend to~."

Oh, if it was that, then I could wait.

"Alright!" I smiled.

* * *

Where on earth did my pants go to?

I hadn't been doing anything strange with them lately, I had just washed them, but they had mysteriously disappeared from the place where I had let all the clothes to dry.

In fact every article of clothing had disappeared from there, and had mysteriously reappeared in the bedroom, except my pants.

...

Undertaker.

"Undertaker?"

I walked downstairs, he wasn't anywhere...  
Maybe he had left to a funeral? Uh... that's inconvenient.

I'm currently wearing another set of pants. They looked the same, but I knew the difference.

"Taker...?"

He wasn't in the backyard, nor the kitchen.  
I peeked into the basement. No creepy giggles, suspicious noises nor haunting wails of the dead. He probably wasn't there, either.

Maybe he had left to see one of his contacts.

I sighed.

He normally said when he was leaving... although it was very possible he had told me, but I forgot.

I yawned.

Yesterday, Undertaker had been digging a grave in the cemetery until late, and I hadn't been able to sleep at all.  
I don't like it when he stays late. He probably doesn't even need to sleep, being a Shinigami and everything... but I do need to sleep, and I can't do it, if he's not around.

A snore made me stop dead on my tracks.

Call me crazy, but I recognize that snore.  
If that wasn't Undertaker's, I would eat his hat, again.

I got closer to the coffin that emitted the suspicious noises. Unless the dead snore, I'm pretty sure there's someone asleep inside the coffin.

Opening the coffin revealed... Undertaker.

I sighed.

How come he's allowed to sleep on the job, but I'm not allowed to sleep just five more minutes? The bed had been so warm...  
If I woke him up now, he would deserve it. If I'm not allowed to sleep in, neither is he.

I was about to grab him by his shaggy mess of a hair, or maybe by his braid, and tug him out of the coffin, but... he seemed so... peaceful.

I don't think I will have enough willpower to wake him up.  
He looked adorable, even if it wasn't the most flattering sight. He had drool coming out of his mouth, was snoring, and from time to time, a random giggle would come out of him.

I couldn't help the fond smile.  
Maybe I would let him sleep for a little while more.

I went to the kitchen, I could also wake him up with food.

Humming a song, I started trying to make cookies.  
Undertaker was usually the one in charge of making cookies, but it was never too late to start trying... unless I burn them, that would be a terrible tragedy that should be avoided at all costs.

On second thought, I think I will make something I already know how to do.

I knew how to make a chocolate cake... but it wasn't an occasion in which a cake was warranted.  
I could save that cake for Valentine's Day. It has so much chocolate that can give diabetes just by looking at it for too long.  
I will need to buy tons of chocolate.

Then what could I do?

Rummaging through the shelves, as I kept humming, I looked at what we had.

Mostly non-perishable goods.

Hey, is that coffee?

Oh. And that's Undertaker's alcohol. I don't even know where he gets that from. I had never seen him buy a single bottle.  
The stuff just keeps appearing.

"Mhmmm... mhmm... over the rainbow... mhmm mhm-mhmmm..."

With what we had... I could try to make... nothing with a strong enough scent to wake up a sleeping reaper...

Although coffee could do the trick, I have never seen him drink any, so I'm not sure if he even likes it.  
Assuming that thing really _is_ coffee.

Better not tempt destiny. I'll leave the coffee alone just in case it's something else. Like ashes. Although, it did smell like coffee, so it probably was.

"…mhmm... once in a lullaby..."

Then… what other food could I cook that would make Undertaker wake up and crawl out of his coffin?

Well, he usually appears when I start cooking, no matter what that food it is...

"Mhmm-mhm mhmm ... really do come true..."

Maybe I should just make that stew he seems to like so much... but I don't think we have all the vegetables necessary...  
That stew is quite good, when it's cold outside. It helps to warm up.

I could also make fish... not fried, of course. I hate fried fish.

Blergh.

"... mhmm, mhmm-mhm mhmmm… mhmm mhmmm...?"

I could also make salad... it was healthy... but not a good choice. With this cold, salad is not the first thing that comes to mind, when you think of food.

He should just get some fried eggs and a pat to the head. In fact he should be thankful I hadn't dragged him out of there by his hair. After all, he was the one that didn't want us to sleep in.  
No, I couldn't do that.

I would make a stew, but with the vegetables we had, and put more meat instead of vegetables, as we had a few of that.

I had started preparing things, humming the same song over and over like a broken record. From time to time a few lyrics escaped from my lips.  
More often than not, I butchered the lyrics, but it didn't matter, no one was listening anyway.

I think I can work with what I have. It won't be as tasty as if I had everything I needed, and probably less healthy too, but it won't be bad. I'll make sure of it.

As I turned around, I squeaked, I stopped singing, staring at the intruder like a deer caught in headlights.  
Well, at least it wasn't Mr. Dimwit, just Undertaker.

Please tell me you heard nothing.

"What are you making, dear~?"

I sighed in relief, which got an amused side look from the reaper.

"Stew."

"Yum~"

"You have perfect timing, where did you leave my pants? They weren't with the rest of the clothes I left to dry."

"Your pants? They weren't with the rest of the clothes, I'm afraid."

"Really? I was sure I left it next to my furisode... are you sure you didn't mistake them with yours?"

"I'm certain, dear. As alike as our pants look, I cannot wear your pants, or at least I would notice, if I did~ hi hi~"

Our pants did look alike, so misunderstandings weren't unusual, at first. But there are a few key differences that didn't allow us to exchange pants.  
For starters I had hips, he didn't. And Undertaker was taller than me, so his pants were a longer than mine. And we would notice.

So it was unlikely that he would misplace my pants.

Still, there was another, more telling clue as to what pants were mine. All pants I had brought with me from... "The tutorial" had a very telling trait. On the backside of the pants we could read where it was made.

Grabbing the reaper by the sleeve to get him closer, I turned him around.

I slipped him off of the outer robe he wore. Throwing the robe on the kitchen chair.

I had to turn him around again, as he had rotated to face me, when I took the robe.

"Awfully eager, aren't you~?"  
I ignored that, moving aside the clothes he wore underneath the robe. I always thought he looked kind of like a reverend of sorts. Or some other religious figure.

I grabbed the rim of his pants... no, these weren't mine.  
Tsk'ing, I let him go, letting him rearrange his clothes correctly.

Where had my pants gone, then?

…

This didn't happen to be that neighbor's vengeance for the incident with the bloomers, right?  
The neighbor had absolutely refused to admit they were hers, even saying she didn't know what those were.

When I had been about to confusedly walk away, she had pulled me aside, saying something about how a proper lady didn't acknowledge the existence of such things, took the bloomers from my hand and shut the door in my face.

I don't understand people from this time.

I don't think it's a prank from that lady, though...  
I don't have any reason to think it's not, but I don't think she would really stoop so low.

Then... where had my pants gone?

I do have others... two or three pairs more, but... I can't go around losing them, if I'm careless, I will have to go to the tailor again.  
No one will save me, if Undertaker calls the tailor again.

"So untrusting~"

"I was just making sure. Better safe than sorry."

I turned to the stew, mulling where I could have left the pants, if I hadn't left them drying. Maybe they had flown with the wind?  
That would be terrible...

Well... I guess there's little to be done, then. It's a real shame, but I guess those pants are gone forever.

Furious barking drew me out of my thoughts.

Biscuit?

What is happening outside? Usually Biscuit only reacts this badly to Vilvent and Mr. Dimwit...

Opening the door to the backyard revealed Biscuit and Mr. Dimwit about to tear apart each other. Or... well they seemed to be fighting over some cloth.

Of course.  
These two would fight over anything and everything.

I stopped short.

That cloth...

Were these my pants?

I felt an eyebrow twitching. I got out my frying pan. I was ready to unleash hell.

"What are you doing...?"

Both dog and reaper froze, looking up. Not at me, I still had to say anything, but at the voice that spoke.  
It was... another man, black hair, glasses, and chartreuse green eyes.

Another reaper.

I wasn't one to make hasty judgments, but by his appearance alone, he looked like an uptight businessman.  
Both Mr. Dimwit and Mr. Strict wore suit, but unlike , 's was always ruffled and dirty.

Speaking of Mr. Dimwit, he looked like he just saw his worst nightmare.

As the newcomer chastised Mr. Dimwit, I ushered Biscuit inside, who knew what these people would do to the poor dog.

The uptight-looking reaper had all but chewed out poor Mr. Dimwit.  
Something about not being the whole dispatch's caretaker, and that it was already bad enough with an unnamed idiot. just refered to him as "that idiot". The blond reaper seemed to know who was reffering to.

I looked at them both. Should I...? Try to get my pants back?  
I mean... I just have to ask... what if they got offended... never got... well scratch that. He always got offended.  
never got _particularly_ offended, but seemed more... Uptight.

In fact, I feel quite bad for Mr. Dimwit, if someone looked at me like Mr. Strict was looking at Mr. Dimwit, I would run and hide under a table for the rest of my life.

I'm never getting my pants back. I had already considered them as lost, but it irked me I hadn't scrapped up the courage to ask.

What had Mr. Dimwit wanted with my pants anyways? I can never understand what he does or wants.

I hope that means that I'm smarter than him.

Like... I'm smart enough to be unable to understand his stupidity. I like that thought, it makes me feel smart, even if it's unlikely to be true.

I waved at the two Reapers as they went away. They weren't even looking at me.  
I stared forlonly at my pants, still firmly clutched in 's hand.

Turning around I saw Undertaker, glued to the window.

...

What is he doing?

He waved.

I blinked, doing the same.

...

I don't think I can understand Reapers at all.

Opening the window, he said something that made me blanch and run inside my coffin, wanting to never leave it again.

"Nice singing, by the way~ hi hi~"


	20. Chapter 19

**Hey, sorry if I'm late, but my computer died and I might have problems to upload the chapters, as the computer I'm using is not mine and it doesen't like fanfiction.** **I'll do my best to update on time, but it might upload a few hours later than usual.**

 **You won't go without chapter, though. I have been working all day to save the chapters I had so far, so Yay!**

 **I might not be able to answer your reviews, but I definitely read all of them, and I love them all, so thanks for spending your time reading and reviewing my story, it means a lot to me. you're all awesome!**

 **This is the third time I'm remaking this autor's note, so if I forget something, don't be afraid tell me. I don't bite!  
As I said before this computer is a bastard that doesen't like fanfiction.**

 **Disclaimer: Yana Toboso owns Black Butler.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"Who's a good little doggy?"  
The monstrous beast fell on its side. To be honest, it wasn't really "little" anymore.

Not that Biscuit could have ever been considered "small".

I had been dubious, but Biscuit had certainly _grown_ since I first met them.  
Now its muzzle was as big as my whole body.  
Turns out that Biscuit really was considered a cub. Right now, I could ride on their back with no problem.

"You are! You're the good doggy! Who's the cutest little doggy in this side of the universe? You are! You are~" Kala being the only exception.

I was currently giving the giant dog a belly rub. Such a good dog.  
It was a little difficult, as I had to use my whole body to do the petting, but Biscuit seemed absolutely elated.

Undertaker... not so much.  
"I feel jealous little Lia~ hi hi~"

"Too bad."

"I want a hug, too~"

"You can join us, if you want to."

I wasn't looking at him, but by his tone of voice alone, I could make out his teasing pout.  
"It's not fair, little Lia~. Why does the mutt get all your love~? It ate your breakfast not that long ago, too~. I'm better than the dog. I deserve a hug~ hi hi~"

I looked at him sideways. I had to stop petting Biscuit in their original form to do that, but I saw Undertaker waving his arms around, as if trying to call attention to himself.

I gestured for him to come closer. He did, although with a few reservations.  
I took his hand, and used it to slowly pet Biscuit.  
" _This_ is therapeutic. Dogs are the incarnation of goodness, loyalty and purity. Now pet it. Pet it and tell me it doesn't feel wonderful. I dare you." I aggressively whispered to him.  
He looked like he tried to resist, but it was futile. Undertaker threw himself against the giant dog, hugging it.

My job here, is done.

I went to Biscuit's head, scratching them behind the ears. They started making pleased noises, moving their head to lean against my hand.

"Little Lia~..."

"Mhmm?"

"Weren't we doing something~?"

Uh... that seems about right... but what?  
"What were we doing?"

"I don't remember~ hi hi~... I got distracted by the dog~"

"Well, if _I'm_ supposed to remember let me tell you that we're doomed."

Conversation drifted off, too busy with our current... preoccupations. Petting Biscuit, that is. Such a precious creature.

A scaly, enormous serpent tried to eat us.

Ah. Yes, we were hunting inside one of my dungeons, weren't we? That's why Biscuit was in their original form.

The serpent ended up biting the dust. Thanks Taker.

' _You have gained 5000 exp points.'_

"Hi hi~ maybe we shouldn't be doing this~"  
Aww... but... Biscuit was so cute...

And so was Undertaker, he was covered from head to toe in black fur left behind by Biscuit. It was hardly visible with his black robes, but he looked adorable trying to get the hair off.  
It was a lost endeavor, though.

An arm sneaked over my shoulders.  
I looked at Undertaker.  
"How about we call it a day~? I _do_ have something I would like to show you~"

Something Undertaker _wants_ to show me?

Run.

"Ha... ha... is it scary...?"  
He snickered. It must be terrifying then.

"Of course not~. I'm sure you'll like it a lot~"  
It's scary and I will hate it.

"Ah... how about..." I pointed vaguely in a random direction.

The arm around my shoulders tightened.  
"You wouldn't happen to be thinking about running away… right, dear~?"  
I'm dead. I'm a corpse walking. I'm going to die in so little time, that for all accounts I'm already dead.  
These are my final moments. At least I gave Biscuit a fair amount of love, before dying.

"Ha... of course not... why would I want to run away...? ...Because... there's no reason why I would _want_ to run away... right?"  
The reaper snickered. I'm dead meat.

"Definitely not~"

I sighed, defeated. Might as well face my death head on, right?  
Biscuit got their belly rubs, I left Undertaker's Valentine chocolate cake inside the oven, and I ate all of the cookies inside the cookie pot.

I have had a fairly good life, as far as I'm concerned.

And once Undertaker noticed the lack of cookies and went to bake more, he would see the Valentine chocolate cake I made for him, he would eat it, and die from an overdose of chocolate.  
Vengeance complete.

I wasn't kidding when I said my cake could give you diabetes just by looking at it for too long. It was a chocolate cake, filled with chocolate, covered in chocolate and with five layers of chocolate. On top of all of that, I had written with chocolate "Happy Valentine, Undertaker".  
Death had never seemed sweeter.  
Pun intended.

I'm a genius. Please remember me as the Saint patron of sweets and puns, rather than a random coward.  
Although... seeing as I'm about to die, I don't think it really matters.

Breaking the Dungeon, Biscuit returned to their kid-like form. Undertaker still had me trapped under his arm.  
"So what did you want to kill me with- I mean... what did you want to show me?"

"Hi hi hi~ you will see~..."  
I did get an amused glance for my slip up, but my fears were otherwise ignored.

We walked inside the shop, and despite my attempts to flee, I was firmly trapped by the silver haired reaper.  
He rummaged through a drawer inside the bedroom, producing a box.  
Is the box filled with still-beating, human hearts?  
I hope not. I would puke, if that was the case.

Uh... was I supposed... to... you know... _open_ it?

"Ah... Thank... you?"

"Hi hi hi~ don't tell me you forgot what day is today~? Hi hi~ after I went through all the trouble to get you these~..."  
Eh...? Today?

Uh... eh...

Ah! Today is Valentine's Day! Does that mean...  
Are these chocolates? I hope they are not poems, I cannot understand poetry.

I was about to open the box... when I decided to subtly nudge Undertaker in the direction of his own Valentine's gift.

"Wao..." I didn't need to fake the amazement in my voice. These _were_ chocolates, after all. "Did you make these? Now that I think about it… I'm pretty sure you forgot some in the oven... at least it smelled like it..."

Undertaker tilted his head to the side, confused.  
"Strange~, I didn't make these myself, so it's quite unlikely..."

He didn't sound like he suspected anything. Then again he probably thought I had forgotten what day was today.  
Or perhaps he wasn't expecting anything from me. Or maybe he was faking it.  
One can never know, with Undertaker.

"Huh, maybe you forgot cookies there." I tried to sound dismissive, like I didn't care if he had forgotten anything there. As I carefully opened my own chocolate box I eyed Undertaker again. "Just make sure you're not going to burn the whole shop to the ground."

I should have become an actress. Such talent.  
Really, I'm amazed at my own ability to sound so innocent. Maybe I should do this more often… or maybe not. Lying recquires the liar to _remember_ their lies, after all.

Wah... chocolate...  
This looks delicious.

"Wah~! Thanks Undertaker!" I may have hugged him, from excitement... but he certainly didn't look like he minded. I know _I_ didn't mind.

Undertaker snickered, petting my head before he went downstairs, probably to make sure the shop wasn't about to burn up in flames.

I knew the exact moment he found the cake.  
In fact, I'm sure the whole neighborhood knew the exact moment Undertaker found the cake.

It didn't sound like Undertaker at all. It was far too high pitched to be Undertaker, but the proof was undeniable, as Undertaker ran inside the bedroom, still emitting that infernal sound.

He threw himself on the bed, where I had been sitting.  
Well... it would be more correct to say he threw himself against me, making us fall on the bed.

He didn't stop his banshee-like screaming. But it did become slightly muffled, as he burrowed his head against my stomach.  
Well... I think he liked my attempt to kill him?

He took his sweet time, before his squealing drifted off. Now that I heard it from close, I think it was... laughter? No, I'm pretty sure it was squealing.

My ears were ringing too much to tell. No one should be allowed to make such a high screech.  
Whoever said men can't make high pitched noises should meet Undertaker. And then go have their hearing checked. My poor ears…

He was mumbling something, but as he refused to move his head away from my stomach, whatever he said was lost forever.

"What happened to the cake?"

He moved his head slightly aside to answer. "I ate it~"

Impossible.  
Not only it was too big to eat so fast, or by a single person in a day, but Undertaker had literally no time to eat it.  
Unless he is a secret ventriloquist that can squeal and eat at the same time. Or laugh. Whatever that had been.

And even if he did... he would drop dead any moment now, from an overdose of chocolate.

But I was more worried about Biscuit. If they found the cake, then it would mean real problems. To dogs, chocolate is poisonous, it would be horrible if they thought about eating the cake.

Terrible in a lethal way.

"You didn't leave it where Biscuit could get to it, did you?"

"They will need to cut open my stomach to get to it, dear~"  
Wait, he ate all of it... for real?

"You're joking"

He raised his head, giving me a view of his smiling, chocolate-covered face. Even his hair had some chocolate sticked to it.  
And now my shirt did, too.

"Go bald old man! You wiped your face on my shirt! Go bald! GoBaldGoBaldGoBald!"

What an ass.

I'm not sure if I was pouting, but by his snickers it was perfectly possible I was.  
"Come on~ don't be angry~"

I sighed. "I'm not. I know it's no use to cry over spilled milk."

"Spilled milk?"

"Isn't that how it goes?"

"I thought it was spilled tea~?"

"Tea? Never heard of 'don't cry over spilled tea'... are you sure that's right?"

"Yes~ yes~ why would you want to spill milk? Tea is a much better option~"

"I don't know... I don't- wait a second how does that matter at all?! What does it matter if we spill milk, water or tea? The meaning is still the same!"

"Really~? But I thought tea was much better~? And what about spilled chocolate? You would like that, wouldn't you~?"

"Why would I want chocolate spilled, instead of being in their rightful place, inside my stomach?"

"Oh~? Maybe you're right~. In that case milk is a very good option, we wouldn't want someone to get offended over spilled tea~"

"Yeah, that's why... wait a second! Stop derailing the conversation! This is not about tea!"

"Milk then~?"

"No! This is about you using my shirt as a handkerchief!"

"German words~. Very interesting~"

"Arghh! A drape, tissue, whatever! You can't just wipe your face on my shirt!"

"I thought I just did~?" He tapped his lower lip with his nail, smiling widely, playful.

"Go bald!"  
Undertaker snickered, giggling like an old witch. Stupid old witch.

I glared at him.

I wouldn't be surprised if he was a witch in disguise. A reaper witch. Stupid old reaper witch.

I started eating my chocolate. It wasn't long before my grumbles were turned into moans.  
Mhmmm... Delicious!

It was chocolate milk, my favourite. I could just die from how good this is...

I could cry. This is so good...  
In fact, I'm pretty sure there's a tear threatening to escape from my left eye.

"Can I get one~?"

"No. If you eat any more chocolate you will get cavities." And he would drop dead, from too much sugar.

A hand sneaked next to me, trying to snatch a chocolate from the box.  
A hand with long black nails. More like claws, really.

I slapped the hand away with a loud slap.  
I looked at him spooked, I hadn't hit him that hard, had I? He looked equally surprised at how loud that came out, but finally smiled, shrugging.

I smiled back.

Eating the chocolate, I considered changing shirts. Maybe when Undertaker left.

Goodness gracious where did Undertaker get this from? It's delicious.  
In fact, it was so good, that it would be a crime not to share with Undertaker. And I don't usually share. At least not sweets.

I offered one to Undertaker.

He smiled shaking his head. "I was joking, little Lia... you can keep them."

"But they are so good... that I want you to taste them."

"Really, I'm full."

"Taste it."

"Lia~..."

"Just one, this one." I put a chocolate in front of his nose.

He snickered. "Alright~"

He opened his lips, taking the sweet between his teeth. His lips accidentally brushed my fingers that were offering the chocolate. I blushed bright red.

Ah...

He took a bite out of the chocolate, slowly. His eyes were closed, his lips were still smeared with a bit of chocolate cake.

He was doing it deliberately slowly, but he looked so... so... _something_ , that I couldn't help but wish he would go _slower_.

I looked away, my face was completely red. My fingers were tingling where he had touched.

"It's good~"

"Told you" Luckily, my words didn't come out as shaky as I was feeling.

He still had to eat the other half of the chocolate, but I don't think my poor heart could deal with that.

Undertaker parted his lips, going for the other piece. This time with his eyes opened and looking at me.

I shoved the chocolate down his throat.  
"I'm not your maid. Go bald old man."

I had to do it. I had to.  
My sanity was on the line.

I turned backwards, hiding my face with our pillow while Undertaker was busy chocking on the chocolate.  
"Little Lia~?"

"Mhmm?"

"..."

When he failed to say anything I raised my head to look at him. He was looking at me with soft eyes and gentle smile.

"You're cute~"

He wasn't snickering, he was just... staring. I blushed. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his, he had... such soft eyes... he had... a precious smile... he had...  
he had his whole lower face covered in chocolate.  
"Wipe your face, you look like a kid who got to the chocolate they weren't supposed to eat."

"Ah~? But you offered that chocolate~"

"I meant the cake."

"That was a gift~"

"You didn't need to eat all of it at once."

"Hi hi~ but it was delicious~"

I sighed, giving up.

"Want to go somewhere~?"

Uh? "Where?"

"Doesn't matter~! Let's just go out and have fun~" doesn't he have work to do?

"Alright...?" He should know better than I do, if he has work to do.

I needed to change shirts, then.

Undertaker started undoing the scarf that tied together his robes. Which was concerning, because he still was over me, from when he had hugged my stomach.

"Eh?"

He then began shrugging off his robe.

Err...

"...Taker?"

"Yes~?"

"What are you doing?"

"My clothes are all covered in dog fur~ I'm changing clothes~"

Ah...

I see...

...

Wait.

"Couldn't you wait until I left?" Or do it when he wasn't pinning me against the bed? For a second I had started worrying.

He giggled.

He got up, helping me do the same. He even bowed mockingly.

I attempted to curtesy, but by the way he started giggling I'm sure I did it completely wrong.

I sighed, fishing a shirt for myself.

Uh... my furisode was drying. I would have to get something else.

...

Maybe this shirt? I don't know... I'm not convinced.

I turned to Undertaker to ask his opinion. "Undertaker what do you-...? WHAT are you doing?!" My face had turned red.

"Changing~"

I narrowed my eyes, my face carefully turning into deadpan. Definitely NOT eyeing his abs.  
"Biscuit!"

"Ara~?"

We heard Biscuit run all the way upstairs and into the room, quick as if summoned by magic, running like their whole life depended on it. I pointed to Undertaker.

"At him. He was being a pervert."

"Grrr! Woof!"

"Little Lia~!" A screech.

* * *

"No one is perfect, Undertaker."

"I know that, little Lia~"

"Everyone has their little quirks and flaws that, while imperfect, make every person different and unique. Some quirks may be more or less annoying than others, but it's not our job to decide if those quirks are enought to die over"

"Believe it or not, for a very long time, deciding exactly _that,_ _WAS_ my job. And you know what they say about old habits, little Lia~, don't you~? They die hard~"

"Does that extend to other reapers?"

"Not really"

"Then stop strangling Mr. Dimwit."

"But~... he was being very annoying~"

"Undertaker..."

"Fine..." he pouted, removing his feet from Mr. Dimwit's throat.

Mr. Dimwit didn't seem to appreciate the fact that I just helped him, instead he shouted something about him _sparing Undertaker's_ _life_ , saying he would come back later.

At least that made Undertaker snicker.

I don't know in which parallel dimension does Mr. Dimwit live, but it must be a strange place, if he thought he could beat Undertaker.  
 _I_ had a better chance to beat Undertaker than Mr. Dimwit did, and the old man still could wipe the floor with my face without breaking a sweat.

I sighed.

"Are you ready~?"

"No..."

"You look ready~"

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because you don't look _like you feel ready~_ "

"Undertaker... my brain can only take a limit amount of bullshit per day, and if you..." He was looking at me with a falsely innocent expression, and I realized this was pointless "...you know what? Forget it. Let's just go."

"Hi hi hi~"

I had put everything I wanted to take with me in my inventory, so I didn't have any luggage. Undertaker wasn't as lucky.

We were about to leave.

Undertaker wanted to call it a vacation, but it was more of a business trip. A very short business trip.  
And I couldn't just stay here because it involved me.

"Are you sure we will find anything worthwhile in... where was that place called? Besex?"

"Essex~. And I am quite certain, little Lia~... and even if we don't, it can be a good time to relax~"

I sighed.

I honestly cannot understand why Undertaker would want to stick his nose in... eh... what was the place's name again? Sexsex?

"What did you say that place's name was, again?"

"Hi hi~ Essex, Colchester to be more precise. Poor little Lia has terrible memory~"

Yeah... I will need to level up my Intelligence... or admit the fact that Ihave the brain of a fish. Or a bird. I can't remember which was the one with the bad memory. Maybe both.

"Are we going with Hercules?"

"No~ there are other methods of transportation that are way faster~"

* * *

"You monster."

"Hi hi hi~ come on~ little Lia~. You have to admit this is faster than poor Hercules~."

I looked uncertainly around, the wagon we were in was quite deserted, there were only two or three more people.

I was sitting next to Undertaker... well, more like hugging his arm like the whole train was going to collapse at any second.

He for once, wasn't clad in his usual uniform, instead he was wearing a very casual set of clothes. Well... casual for this time, he looked quite dapper to me.

He was wearing cream colored pants and a black blazer, with his sleeves rolled up, showing his forearms. He had a white shirt underneath the blazer, and his hat was nowhere to be seen. It actually made sense. Why would he wear his work clothes, if he wasn't going to work?

His eyes were still covered by his hair, though.

We were on the railway, going to... Eh... A place that sounded like cauliflower? Something like that. Maybe.

It was relatively close to London.  
We still had a way to go, until we got to our destination.

"So... what to expect, once we're there?"

I got a side glance and a smirk.

"We will search for a priest."

...

"What."

"Hi hi hi" he was wiggling delightedly in his seat. Most likely at my face.

"There's a... hi hi~... there's... he he he~ ha ha ha ha~!" He threw his head back, laughing rather hysterically. I let him.

He was kicking his legs around, making a ruckus.

"If you don't calm down they will kick us out of the still moving train."

"He he he~... we have... He~... to find a priest... hi hi~"

There probably was a perfectly rational explanation, as to why we had to find a priest, but the reaper was too amused by my face to actually spit out the words.

I sighed.

"You know what? Do whatever. I'm going to sleep for a while. Once you're capable of talking without snickering you'll tell me. But don't wake me up."

"Hi hi hi~... it's an informant that... ha ha ha~ he he he~"

I don't think I will be able to sleep with him laughing like that... but if I can sleep with him snoring, I will be able to sleep through an earthquake.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

' _Saved data'_

' _After waking up, you have restored half of you maximum Hp and Mp.'_

"Are we there yet...?"

"Nope~! But we're close, you woke up at the best moment~"  
Uh... if we're not there yet, then it's not the best moment.

Yawn.

The reaper petted my head, smiling softly.

"What is it...?

"Hi hi~ you're a good girl~"

Eh?

I looked up at the reaper, I had been sleeping with my head resting on his shoulder. I couldn't resist yawning again.

He brushed my cheek with his finger.  
"You're adorable when you are asleep~" That made me slightly uncomfortable. How was I, when I was asleep? I hope I didn't snore... although he doesn't have any room to complain, he snores AND drools.

I yawned again.

"When we get there, I know someone who can bring us to the priest's hometown. Then we can go look for him."

 **'New Major Quest! [Searching Far and Wide]**

 **Quest Requisites:**  
 **-Find the priest**

 **Optional Quest Requisites:**  
 **-?**

 **Quest Rewards:**  
 **-5000 exp points**  
 **-300£**

 **Optional Quest Rewards:**  
 **-1500 exp points'**

Priest? Oh. That.  
"Why is that guy so important?"

"There's a rumor he got his hands on a powerful artifact..."

"Artifact...?"

"Yes. It's very likely that Zephyr, who is looking for a demon artifact, will look into that rumor as well."

I blinked, more awake.

"Do you think the priest has that demon artifact Zachary is looking for?"

"Zachary? Hi hi hi~ it's Zephyr."

"Ah... Well, him."

"Mhmm..." he had an unreadable expression, looking at me like the answers were clear on my face. "No. I don't think it's the same artifact, if our little priest even _has_ an artifact at all."

"Eh? How do you know?"

"..." he smiled a predatory smile, almost threatening to break his face in two. "Let's call it a gut feeling~"

Well... that was scary. I'm not questioning it further, then.

...

"... Are we there yet?"

"Nope~!"

...

"And now?"

"Nope~!"

...

"How about now?"

"Nope~!"

...

"And- ack!"

I was seized by my cheeks. Undertaker started manhandling my poor cheeks, smiling wide.  
"What does it look like~?"

I looked through the window next to us. "Uh... yehf?"

Undertaker looked outside.

"Well, what do you know, it seems like we arrived~!" He released my cheeks.

Ouch.

Undertaker jumped to take his luggage, prancing away without waiting for me. I had to run after him, still nursing my sore cheeks.  
"Taker... where are we going, now?"

Getting off of the train, he turned to me.

"We're not quite to the place where the priest is. Wait here for a second."

He walked away, not waiting for me. I sat there, waiting. I started playing with Tofu.

"Do you think the priest will be nice? I hope so... Ah... I really hope we don't find that meanie... although... I guess we _are_ here to find him, aren't we? Do you think Biscuit will be alright on their own? I know Vilvent has a big place, but... uh... I'm worried. What if the other dog doesn't like Biscuit? What if they give them food they don't like? _What if Biscuit starves!_ Ah... this is terrible... we can't stay here for long, or Biscuit will think we abandoned them..."

"I'm back~!"

"We have to go back!" I cried, almost bawling.

"Ara~?"

"What if Biscuit ends up eating the other dog, and they decide to kill Biscuit in revenge?!"

"..."

"What if the _other dog_ ends up eating Biscuit? What if Biscuit escapes trying to find us? What if..."

He patted my head. "Everything will be alright~. On another note, I love your mind, you have to share your worries more often~ hi hi. I can always use a good laugh~! He he he~"

Great he was laughing at my fears. They may be a bit outlandish, but they were valid concerns! At least most of them were...  
"Go bald, Taker."

Undertaker guided me to a carriage, where we would spend some time, until we got to... Eh...  
"Where were we going again?"

"Hi hi~ we're leaving Colchester behind~ our next stop is Salcott."

"Great. I got nothing from that."  
Where was Sascot, anyway? I didn't even know such a place existed.

"Uh... just let me know when we get there..."

Undertaker giggled.

I was about to fall asleep again, from pure, unadulterated boredom when Undertaker pulled my hair.

"Hey."

"Sorry~"

Nothing else was heard. Just the steps of the horses outside, walking us to our destination.

Another pull at my hair.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing~"

I glared at him, but I just received an innocent blink.

I closed my eyes again.

And promptly opened again turning to face Undertaker like a flash, who I had caught with his hand barely an inch away from my head.

"Oopsie~"

"Are you trying to make me go bald?"

"Of course not~ I just like your hair~. It's so short and soft~"

I sniffed, totally unconvinced.

The travel to... Eh... wherever we were going, was as boring as anyone could imagine, and Undertaker made sure to let me know that fact, by annoying me all the way there.

Thankfully, the trip was way shorter than the train trip. I would have ended up restraining Undertaker with my magic chains, if it went on much longer.

"I'm bored little Lia~" he was sitting upside down, with his head resting on my legs, his own legs were high in the air, kicking invisible sky-dust.

"Then maybe you should sleep and let me rest for a while."

"But we're almost there~"

"Then stop complaining."

"Why would I do that~? Hi hi~ I very much enjoy the faces you make when I complain~"

Great. He enjoys my suffering.

"Hey~ we're here~"  
Thank goodness.

I opened my arms wide, looking upwards, as if thanking some higher deity for small mercies.  
"Hi hi~ if you don't like me laughing at you, then maybe you should stop making such funny faces~..." I glared at him. "But that's impossible~! Hi hi hi~"

I got out of the carriage, hearing a thud behind me. Undertaker was rolling on the floor.

The driver made a departing gesture, smiling at me pityingly.

I waved goodbye, lightly kicking Undertaker's leg to make him get up.  
"Get up old man, the faster we find the priest, the sooner we can go back to Biscuit." And the less time I will have to spend being laughed at.

"Hi hi~ alright~ I will go look around to see if I find him~... you can..."

"..."

"... you can also look for the priest on your own~. It's a small town, if you manage to get lost, I will give you cookies."

"I don't know how the priest looks like... and even if I did, you shouldn't underestimate my ability to get lost... And why would you give me cookies for getting lost? I thought you wanted me to NOT get lost."

"Hi hi~ I'll go this way~ make sure to invite me to a celebration~ so I can let you know when I find the priest~"  
If he's so sure he'll be the one to find the priest, why don't we save ourselves some trouble and go together?!

Sighing, I did as asked, not that he had even waited for me, he was already out of sight.

"Create party"

 _Name your party._

"Go bald old man"

 _Do you want to name your party 'go bald old man'?_

 _Y/N_

Wait, no.

 _Name your party._

"Old men are stupid" That seemed so much better.

 _Do you want to name your party 'Old men are stupid'?_

 _Y/N_

Mhmm… but there were other old men that weren't stupid… I meant to say just Undertaker was stupid... Maybe it wasn't such a good name after all…

"No".

 _Name your party._

The first name was good enough, I guess.

 _Do you want to name your party 'go bald old man'?_

 _Y/N_

"Yes."

Once the party was created and Undertaker had accepted the invitation, I looked around.

Uh... it looked like Undertaker was right, this was a small town.

I started walking aimlessly.

I don't even know who I am looking for... some priest, right?  
But aside from that, I knew absolutely nothing.

He could be an old man, or a young adult, he could be blond, black haired or a brunette.  
He could have beard or a fancy mustache... well, no, I don't think the priest has a beard, I mean, wasn't it forbidden? Or am I completely making this up? I'm probably mixing things again.

Uh...

"Stupid Taker... he does this just to annoy me... how do I even find a priest?"

Where could one find a priest, usually?

Uh...

At a church, right? Or... well, I guess they could also have a home... I don't think the sleep at the church.  
But the church is a very good first step. I think...

Where do I even find a church, here?

I mean... I knew what churches usually look like... but... well, I don't think I could just walk by a church without noticing, right? I mean, if I pay a minimum of attention to my surroundings...

 _Something I'm not doing, by the way_ , but if I did, I'm sure I would recognize a church, when I saw it.

...

Where am I, by the way?

I looked around.

I... think I walked out of the town... Er... What way did I come from, again?

Ah, there are houses there... seems like I didn't walk as far as I feared.

Eh... I have to pay attention. A church... where could I find one?

I could ask someone...

Anxiously looking around, I approached a woman and shyly asked for directions.  
I'm sure I put my foot in my mouth, but she did tell me to go to... Er... the right?

They were simple directions, I couldn't have forgotten them already.

I think she told me to take that turn and I would see the church.

Let's hope I'm right.

Ah! I think it's that!

Walking inside I looked around. Yeah, there's a cross there... and an altar thingy... Yeah it's a church.

Could I just bother someone to ask for the priest's whereabouts?  
What was the priest's name? I don't think Undertaker told me...

I opened the party window to ask Undertaker.

"Taker, what is the priest's name?"

"William. Why?"

"To ask around, of course!"

"Who do you plan to ask? His mother? He he"

"No, I'm going to ask at the church."

"What church?"

"There's a church"

"No there isn't."

"Of course there is, I'm right there"

"Little Lia, you cannot be in a church, because the nearest church is St. Mary and it's not even in Salcott."

I looked up and around, St. Mary? There's a writing there that… Yeah, I think that's the name of this place.

"That's where I am."

Undertaker was silent for a good while, and when he finally sent something, it wasn't very informative.

"..."

"What did I do?"

"I'll get you cookies when we go back."

Great, I got lost.

"This is the last time you leave me somewhere under the premise that I cannot get lost."

"Agreed"

I sighed. Of course I got lost.

That didn't mean I couldn't ask around, right?

"I'll pick you up. Don't move."

Or, well... ask around without moving.

I wasn't sure how to ask about the priest's whereabouts without knowing who to ask.

I waved to a man who may or may not be in charge of the church. The man approached me.  
"Is there anything I may help you with?"

"Uh... I was looking for a priest... uh... a man, he... I was told I could find them in..."

I quickly eyed the still opened window that revealed my conversation with Undertaker.

What had he called the town?  
"Salscott...? Salcott? Salcott."

The man blinked, thinking for a few seconds.

"Yes... I believe I may know who you may be referring to, William." I peeked up, hopeful. "Sadly, he left to an errand earlier today... he is to return in a day or two."

I heard the telltale sound of my hopes crashing and breaking like glass. "I could send word to him, if it's urgent...?"

I shook my head, but asked if he at least knew where he had gone.

I had to write down the name of the place, as I would forget in a few minutes, otherwise.

"Lagenhoe"

"What about Langenhoe?"

"I think our priest is there"

"You didn't move, did you?"

"No, I asked someone. I didn't move an inch."

"Good girl"

Thanking the man, I reassured him that I was fine, and didn't need anything else, I was just waiting for someone here.

Not long after, Undertaker entered the church, looking around. I waved.

He smiled returning the wave.

Walking up to me he bowed.

What?

"I have to say you proved me completely wrong~. Not only did you get lost, but you also found the whereabouts of our priest~ what a good girl~" he snickered.

He messed my hair up, snickers developing into a full blown laugh, at my disgruntled face. Getting lost is not something to celebrate.

Guiding me out of the church we walked, Undertaker stopped for a moment to laugh at a fat man trying to climb into a cart, but I pulled him away, face red from second hand embarrassement. It wasn't very nice of him. It was terribly rude in fact.  
Even if it kind of reminded me of a young puppy trying to walk up a step.

"If this adventure takes much longer, I will end up tying you to your luggage." And throwing him off a ledge afterwards.

What did he even put inside that thing?  
This was a short trip, or well... it was _supposed_ to be a short trip. It shouldn't take longer than a day or two.

I could bring whatever I wanted, I had an inventory, he didn't.

"Let me" I tried to take the luggage from him, just to get it pulled away from me.

"I couldn't possibly let a lady carry my belongings, dear~"

"I'll put it in my inventory... and I'm not a lady.

He blinked. Smiling.

"Awfully convenient~ very well~"

He let me take the case, and I put it in my inventory.

It took a while to get to... Lag…hoe...?

Eh...

It took a while to get to the place the priest was supposed to be, but we got there, and I hadn't even felt the need to tie up Undertaker to a rock and throw him into the ocean.

...

At least not more than usual.

"So... find the priest?"

"Exactly~"

"And I'm not walking farther away than a five meter radius away from you."

"Good girl~"

We walked around, sometimes asking people as we walked by.

"Little Lia~ don't get lost~"

Ah... I was just looking at the surroundings and got a bit distracted. It was a very beautiful place.  
"I'm here."

"I found our priest~"

"You did~?"

"Yep~"

"And...?"

"And~?"

"Where is he?"

"Follow me~"  
Undertaker hadn't waited for me to follow, instead he was gently guiding me in a random direction.

Well... to me it was a random direction, I suppose that direction was where we were supposed to go.

Undertaker glanced at me.

We entered a... place. I didn't have time to have a good look at the house, but it was warm inside.

There, two men were shouting over something.

...

One of them was Mr. Rabid.

Seems like he hasn't looked for help, for his anger management problems.

What was his name... the man we stole the diary from... Zaer? Zapher? Something like that.

I think I'm nicknaming Mr. Furious, Mr. Rabid or Mr. Ass.  
All of them are very fitting nicknames for him.

Undertaker casually walked over to the arguing men.

I think the other man is our priest, Mr. Elusive.

Although I think their real name was William... or Charles... or maybe I'm completely making names up.

Wasn't Mr. Newspaper guy's name William?

Yes, I'm probably messing names up.

I stood aside, awkwardly looking at the men.

Mr. Furious took Mr. Elusive by the lapels of his clothes, and put his face very close to Mr. Elusive's own face, whispering threats.  
Call me genius, but I think Mr. Furious is angry.

Mr. Furious is such a long name... I should give him better name... Mr. Fury? Uh...

Mr. Fury was angry and very keen on making Mr. Elusive scared out of his wits.

And it seems to have worked, Mr. Elusive looks to be in need of another set of pants.

I don't really understand what is going on, but Undertaker butted in, which only seemed to make Mr. Fury even _more_ furious. I'm pretty sure that vein throbbing by his neck is not a good sign.

He should try meditation, it's really good for stress, nerves and anger management problems. If he keeps this up, Mr. Fury will end up bursting a vessel, or getting grey hairs.

I... really don't know what happened, but one second Undertaker, Mr. Elusive and Mr. Fury were exchanging cocky remarks, the next moment, Mr. Fury was doing something with his pendant...

And the next, the earth was trembling.

...

What is...?

Is this... an earthquake?!

I took Undertaker's sleeve, Mr. Elusive decided that this was far too much excitement for him, and fainted. I didn't blame him, though.

"Hahahaha! Tremble before my power!" Mr. Fury seemed to be completely out of his mind. Eyes wide, crazed and wild.

"Little Lia~ do you mind taking care of our friend over there~?" He pointed to the unconscious Mr. Elusive. I nodded.  
I dragged the priest away from the two men.

Where... where do I hide...?

Under the doorway.

I frowned.

Why...

Why does this... this is so... familiar?

...

This reminds me of something...

But I have never been trapped in an earthquake before, have I?

I gripped my head between my hands, closing my eyes. This... this... I can't quite remember...

Where have I seen this before? Where...?

I...

Was it... in a dream?

"Dalia!"

Undertaker?

I looked up at him. He was looking at me, eyes wide as can be, mouth open in a silent scream. He was extending his hand towards me, but was too far away. He looked...

Terrified.

Undertaker looked terrified.

I have seen that face before. In my classmates' eyes, in my teacher's eyes, right before...

Right before Kim and I fell.

A weight dropped to my stomach. Time had seemed to have stood still, everything was happening way too fast, and I was processing everything way too slow.

I turned around, something compelled me to search for what had made Undertaker look like that.

Ah... I see.

 **'You are dead.'**

 **'Reloading a previous save file...'**

 **'Reloading complete'**

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

I jumped awake and stood, looking around.

What...?

"Little Lia? Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?"

Under... Undertaker...

A nightmare?

No...

No no no. It wasn't a nightmare. It definitely wasn't a nightmare.

"I..."

I had seen it as clear as day, a portion of the wall had collapsed, falling on top of both me and Mr. Elusive.

It wasn't a nightmare. It had felt too real.

"Dalia?"

I extended a hand towards the reaper, touching his bare forearm. He was real...

What... how had...

Had I... gone back in time...? But... that's impossible.  
But that must be it, as it can't have been a nightmare. It just can't.

"Do you... remember anything?" Anything at all, something to tell me that this wasn't a nightmare, that _that_ hadn't been just a dream.

"Dalia? What do you mean?" He seemed quite concerned about my nonsensical questions. "We are almost at Colchester, if that's what you mean..." He blinked, frowning. "Come here little Lia... come here~"

I sat again. Undertaker sneaked an arm over my shoulders, bringing me closer to him.

My heart was beating wildly, but it wasn't because of his proximity.

I had been really scared. Now that I could think clearly, I had been terrified.

How...

Had I really gone back in time? Yes, because we're not in Cauliflower yet... But... that's impossible.  
Well... it wasn't impossible, thinking about it. After all... I'm here, aren't I  
I won't be born until a good hundred years into the future.

Is this... because of the game...? That's...

"You really don't remember anything? The carriage... the church... when I got lost?"

Undertaker looked at me confusedly, thinking.

"Can't say I do, little Lia~" he started stroking my head, messing my hair up.

I looked outside, we were almost there... the train was slowly coming to a stop.

"The priest was in... Eh..." What was the name...? "Laghome?" Or something like that.

Undertaker blinked, tilting his head to the side. "What makes you think he wouldn't be in his hometown~?"

"Because we already went there."

Undertaker blinked.

He got up, right as the train came to a stop and people started getting off, he took his luggage and casually said: "I want you to explain what you are talking about, alright~?"

So I did.

This time Undertaker didn't leave me to wait outside the railway station, instead we walked together to a house, while I narrated everything I could remember.

I did have to wait outside the house, when he went inside to get our driver. I had to step aside, as I was almost tackled by a frantic man that happened to be our driver. I had been suspicious before, but now I was sure.

Whatever Undertaker had done to "convince" our poor driver, wasn't something I would like.

I sent a nasty glare to the innocently smiling reaper, but I did get to finish my story on our way to larshoe... ladghoe... lagenhome... la... lage...

...on our way to the place.

Why does everyone like to put complicated names to places?

Undertaker had been mulling on my words for a while.

"Let's look into Langenhoe first, as it is closer than Salcott. It won't hurt to have a look around~..."

He slightly turned his head to me.

"But... try not to forget something so important like that again." His tone had hardened, and I turned into a ball, hugging my knees.

"Sorry..." I picked at the sleeves of my furisode, seemingly fascinated by it, just so I wouldn't have to face the probably-angry reaper.

I shouldn't have forgotten a thing like that. That earthquake, the first one... I had fallen to my death, hadn't I?

Even more important, immediately afterwards I had obtained this strange power, I shouldn't have discarded that as a simple "nightmare". I had even felt a strange Deja Vu afterwards, that day.  
I should have put more thought into it.

But... that first time... things had changed. In my not-nightmare... my university hadn't closed because of the earthquake alert... but when I woke up again, it had taken a day off.

Why? Did this mean that something had changed, now?

But what?

And this second earthquake... was it related somehow to the earthquake from my time? Could it be...?

Mr. Fury had been the responsible for this quake, there was no doubt about it. But... did that mean...?

No. The earthquake from my time didn't have anything to do with Mr. Rabid, it was impossible, it just so happened to bring back memories.

It's impossible for Zephyr to have been behind my dimension's earthquake... right?

Apparently I had a very bad habit of dying, in earthquakes.

Ha...

That joke was horrifying. It wasn't even funny.

A hand rested on my head, followed by a heavier weight joining in. Undertaker's head.

"It's fine, little Lia..." he sounded... conflicted. "It's just that..." he sighed. He seemed to have aged a lot just by hearing my tale. "...a human life is quite hard to extend..." he looked at me, searching for something. What was he looking for I didn't know, but he caressed my cheek, softly. "I'm sorry, little Lia..." He pressed his forehead against mine, preventing me from seeing his frown. A little late, though.

What was he apologizing for? He didn't do anything wrong. If anything, it was my fault.  
"Why are you apologizing?" At my words, he smiled softly.

Those kind of smiles... I loved when he smiled them.

They made me feel...

I blushed, smiling myself. I had to pull away from his face, or I would end up fainting.

Ha... this carriage ride was far less annoying than the first one...

I peeked at Undertaker, he was snickering, ridiculously pleased. At least he seemed to have gone back to his normal, infuriating self. I pouted, kicking his leg.

Instead of stopping, that just made him hug himself, wiggling in delight.

"Hi hi hi~ we're here~"

Jumping down, Undertaker helped me get down, not that I needed any help.

I took his suitcase, putting it into my inventory again.

I waved the driver goodbye. Instead of the sympathetic glance from before, I was rewarded with a disturbed look, like he thought I was completely out of my mind. Eh?

Blinking, I shook the thought away.

It's... strange. It had been almost evening, before dying. Now, it was barely a few hours after lunch.

I felt a bit confused. Like when one gets off of a plane, perfectly awake, but at your destination is nighttime. Jet lag.

"Ah... I don't know exactly where we found the priest and... Zach... Eh... the other guy."

"Hi hi~ we will find them, if they are here~"

It took considerably little time, for me to recognize an inn as the place where it all went down. But there wasn't anyone here.

I had to wonder if it was a dream after all, but asking the owner proved that our priest had a reservation here. He was supposed to arrive sometime today.

Undertaker and I exchanged glances.

I was right, after all.

Asking which way would the priest come from, Undertaker took my hand, pulling me away.

We ran. I'm not sure why we were running, but apparently we were now in a hurry.

We stopped in the middle of the road. We had left the city behind.

"Why are we running?" I was surprised I wasn't panting, but I had to admit that Undertaker had made me run for far longer with the excuse of "training".

He smiled a very wide, creepy smile, pointing ahead.

A carriage had stopped in the very middle of the road.

Well... seems like there are some things that don't change.

Mr. Fury and Mr. Elusive were in a shouting match. Surprisingly Mr. Elusive was winning, if only from the indignation in his voice.

"What is wrong with you?! Leave me alone! I don't have anything like that!"

Although Mr. Fury wasn't very far behind. He _was_ really angry.

"You cannot fool me! This is that blasted thing's work! I know you have it! If you don't give it to me, I'll fucking kill you!"

There had been a few more profanities spewed here and there, but I ignored that to the best of my ability.

Mr. Fury has a terrible potty mouth.

"Now, now~ that's not a way to speak in presence of a lady, is it~?"

Mr. Fury turned to us, eyes wild. He seemed a step away from frothing like a wild beast.

He was scary. Especially because I knew that unlike Mr. Dimwit, this man could and would call forth a freaking earthquake like one calls a friend for a quick chat.  
He hadn't changed much, from the last time I saw him. He was still tall, dark haired, and with an impressive scowl permanently carved into his face.

"You... you stupid _pests_! You are like cockroaches, coming out of the fucking woodwork at the slightest chance!" He took Mr. Priest by the neck, who hadn't excpected the sudden action. Mr. Fury was really strong... the priest wasn't touching the floor at all.

"Give me the artifact!"

"I did! I already gave it to you!"

"That's trash! I'm looking for the real deal!"

"I only had that! I swear that's the only artifact I had! Please don't kill me..."

"Lies! I know that blasted thing is behind the time-reset! I know what that thing is capable of, and your trash couldn't even tell you what time of the day it is!" Mr. Fury had gone completely insane, he was shaking Mr. Priest the Elusive McCoward back and forth.

Hey... that's not a bad name. I like that name. If only I could remember it...

... Eh... where was I?

Uh... no, really. I forgot what was going on for a second. Like my sudden stroke of genius had deprived me of all my mental capabilities, by backlash.

Luckily, Mr. Fury was more than happy to remind me, by throwing Mr. Priest in my direction. The man flew through the air for some seconds, over my head, after which they fell to the ground.

"You... all of you... are really getting on my nerves..." Really… he needs help. As in actual, professional help. In fact…

"You should try yoga... or meditation. I've found that helps a lot. I think I heard of someone willing to give classes in-"

"AAAAARRGGGGHH!"

Alright.

I think he doesn't like yoga.

Undertaker was behind me, chocking on his own spit... or laughing. I think he's laughing.  
I'm pretty sure he's laughing.

The priest wasn't laughing, though. He was unconscious. iw ould be unconscious, too, if I hit my head like that... I hope he's okay.

And... I'm going to call him Zach, because Mr. Fury is getting annoying, and he doesn't deserve a "Mr.", he's too much of an ass to deserve that.

Zach wasn't laughing either.

In fact he had turned a deep red, and started messing with his...

Wait a second, hadn't he been messing with his pendant, when the earthquake started?

A rumble answered my questions.

This one... was stronger.  
As if Zach's fury had been used to fuel the earthquake's power.

I hope that's not the case, Zaph is quite angry.

"Ah... why don't we take the priest and..." I pointed vaguely behind my shoulder.

Undertaker sent me a look.

"Weren't you supposed to defeat him?"

"But... I don't want to kill him..."

Undertaker sighed.

"You two really have to talk, this is getting annoying."

"What?"

"Come on." What?

Undertaker took my hand, grabbing the unconscious priest and running.

Zach was hot on our heels.  
He seemed possessed. His eyes had gone white, he was exuding an awful aura, and was screaming in rage, running after us like his life depended on it.

He got a heel to the face.  
That wasn't very nice, but I guess niceties weren't one of Undertaker's priorities, right now.

"Why are we even running?!"

"Are you going to kill him?"

"Of course not!"

"That's the reason."

So... we're fleeing... because I don't want to kill him?

"Then why did we come here in the first place?!"

"Hi hi hi~ information~"

"Great."

Hey, we got new information: Zachary or whatever his name is can freaking summon _earthquakes_ out of nowhere!

Lovely information, by the way.

"Grwaaaargh!"

Ah! He's back! And it may be my imagination, but he looks angrier. Or that might be the nice bruise starting to form at the side of his face.

"Hi hi~ he's persistent, isn't he~?"

Undertaker stopped, turning to the approaching man, throwing the unconscious priest over his shoulder and to me.

The priest fell on top of me. Really? I'm surrounded by a bunch of rude assholes.

Making sure the poor Mr. Priest McCoward wasn't injured, I looked up at the fight going on. The priest was okay, just very scared.

Undertaker had one of his sotobas in hand, blocking a kick from Zaph.  
Zach, or whatever his name was, disappeared for a second, reappearing behind Undertaker.

Luckily, the reaper dodged the following attack from Zach, hair flowing with his movements.

Kicking his opponent away, Undertaker decided he had time to move his bangs out of the way, while Zachary did something with his pendant again.

Not another earthquake, please not another one. I don't think I can take any more earthquakes.  
Luckily, it wasn't another earthquake.

Sadly, it was a beam of sorts, Undertaker miraculously managed to avoid it completely, not even his hair got singed.

Which was good.

If Undertaker ruined a single strand of hair from his own head, I would cut it all off and keep it safe and sound with me. Probably in a box. Or maybe even make me a wig out of it.

I looked closely at Zachary. He seemed like a normal human... except that he wasn't. Was he another reaper?

But he didn't have the eyes.

...

Well, aren't I a genius?

I have a wonderful ability, and here am I, making wild conjectures.

'Observe'

' _[Name]: Zephyr the Second  
_ _[Title]: Evil overlord in the making  
_ _[Race]: Human  
_ _Lvl 138  
_ _Hp: 15000  
_ _Mp: 800_

 _Strength: 217  
_ _Vitality: 432  
_ _Dexterity: 168  
_ _Intelligence: 84  
_ _Wisdom: 16  
_ _Luck: 12_

 _Description locked'_

Why is the description locked?

And, Uhh... well, he's not particularly wise, is he? But it should have been obvious, seeing as he rejected looking for a solution to his anger problems.

And... He has an absolutely insane amount of Vitality. What's up with that?  
That's... ridiculous. He can't be human.

But he is...

What did he do, to gain such insane stats?

I mean... his level is way too low, for these high stats... so... he must be cheating somehow. Maybe that also explains why I don't get a description…

I eyed the pendant.

It may be my imagination, but my weakness-seeking sense, developed by long hours of playing games and beating bosses, is tingling.

In fact, I would bet money that if we took the pendant from him, Zachary wouldn't as much of a problem as he's currently being.

I opened my mouth to point out the obvious weak spot to Undertaker, but I was cut off by the appearance of his scythe. Undertaker's scythe.

Well, that was scary as heck.

What purpose could a skeleton head and a ribcage accomplish, when attached to a scythe?  
Scaring enemies into wetting their pants, maybe.

Not Zachary, though. He only seemed angry. Then again, I think that's the only emotion he's capable of feeling.

If we're talking about levels, Undertaker should be able to give Zachary a run for his money... but he's cheating. His stats are way too high for his level…

And... Just now, I noticed he had mentioned time-resetting, hadn't he?

Does that mean he remembers what happened?

That could be the reason why he had found Mr. Coward sooner than before, just like us.

Zephyr ran to us, shouting an angry battle cry. Undertaker jumped to avoid him and used that moment to swipe his scary scythe across Zachary's chest, sending him back. And that should have been it.

Instead, I got a very freaky view of Zachary's innards sewing themselves together.

...

Well, now I'm permanently scarred for life.  
That's nightmare fuel for a lifetime.

"I'm all for running for it."

Undertaker ignored me, busy with something. I don't know what he was looking at, but he seemed quite annoyed.

"Uh... 'Taker...?"

Zachary _the freaking immortal_ , got up shooting another beam.

You know, maybe this is not the best moment to be considering this, but I'm starting to believe I really am inside an anime.

Which means I'm screwed.

At least Undertaker dodged the beam, but he looked knind of… Uh… is he... angry?

Hold on a moment, I think Undertaker got _angry_.  
Did his hair got singed? No, his hair is as immaculate as always...

I don't know what happened, but somehow, the impossible just happened. Undertaker got angry at someone… and luckily, it wasn't me.

Unluckily for Zeph, he just got into a lot of trouble.

Undertaker parried a blow with his scythe… which by the way, was glowing a faint green hue, which probably meant that he was going to… alright, no, he kicked Zaph.  
I mean… well yes the glow was a very good distraction as it brought the attention upwards an to the weapon, but... I think that was kind of a cheap shot, Taker… not that I'm about to say anything… at least not while the reaper is angry.

Undertaker's face didn't change much, when angry. A slight frown of his eyebrows, his eyes got a bit colder… and he was sporting a murderous smile that could send any self-respecting person to go run and cry to their mum…  
 _I_ feel like running to my mum, and she was never a very comforting person to be around…

Hey! I got the best idea ever! How about I let the insane idiots smack each other around a bit, while I just… look.

I'm not getting involved in _that_. That's just asking fate to kill me again. Especially when Undertaker is smiling like that.

I looked at Mr. Priest, he was unconscious.  
I should put him somewhere safe... maybe inside one of my dungeons?

An empty one, of course.

Well… now that I think about it... we should all get into a dungeon and away from Zephyr. Undertaker included… he doesn't look like he will appreciate that, though…

The reaper in question, was exchanging a series of kicks and blows with the most annoying cheater ever, and no matter how many times Zaph got cut in half, he somehow always got up again, as good as new.

Yeah, we're not getting anywhere in that departement, I'm getting us out of here. If Undertaker gets angry at me for it… I will run. Or deal with it. Somehow.

Taking advantage of the absurd amount of destruction and dust caused by Undertaker's (this time for real) glowing attack, I created an empty Dungeon, taking Mr. Coward with me. I also pulled Undertaker in. He didn't react to the sudden change, he was just glaring blankly ahead, lost in his thoughts.

Zephal probably thought we fled, slipping away using the dust caused by the reaper's attack... which was more or less what happened.

Well, we had dodged a bullet, there. I couldn't help the relieved sigh that escaped my lips.

"I want to go back to London… where the worst thing I have to worry about is you and an insane amount of serial killers..."

I was met with troubled chartreuse eyes.

"Alright… but if we meet Zephyr again, don't stop me again."

I looked up at him. He was serious.

When we got out of the dungeon, Zephal wasn't anywhere in sight. Probably in a wild goose chase.

We left Mr. Elusive in his hometown, it was unlikely Zephar would actually bother looking for him. Or so Undertaker said.

The trip back was silent. Only the horse's steps could be heard.

I was tired, Undertaker was thinking.  
I was resting my head against his shoulder. I was tired, but couldn't help but keep mulling over what happened.

What if...

What if Zephyr was behind the earthquake that killed me in my dimension?

...

That was stupid, right? Why would he do that?

I mean... when that happened, I was just a normal girl, no gamer power, no supernatural friends... no nothing.

Zephyr could travel between dimensions, right?

That meant... that he could have been behind the earthquake, technically speaking.

But it didn't make any sense. Wasn't he looking for an artifact? Then why would he waste his time terrorizing a city with a natural disaster?

I sighed.

My sigh was echoed by the man at my side.

What was Undertaker thinking about?

He had been quite... down, since the fight with Zephyr. I... didn't like seeing him sad.

I feared he was angry with me, for stopping the battle. I felt a bit guilty… but I didn't regret it.

I took his hand in mine, brushing the back of his hand with my thumb. I was pathetic, when it came to comforting someone, and hugs were a bit difficult, right now. It was a bit complicated, when sitting like we were.

Well, no. If I got his arm over my shoulders, I could probably hug him.  
And if not, I could try to hug his arm.

I tried to slip into his arms, hugging him. I got a kiss to my temple. I blushed.

"Are you alright?" It was a stupid question, he didn't look alright.

"Yes..."

I pressed my lips together.  
"Lying doesn't suit you, Taker."

He snickered. But it was too short for my taste, and it was quickly replaced with a hum.  
"Mhmm... I was just thinking, little Lia~"

"You shouldn't think too hard, or you will find yourself thinking not funny things."

Seems like today was the day I threw every word he had ever spoken to me back at Undertaker's face.

At least that made him chuckle. Unlike the snicker, that sounded a little less fake.

I smiled. That had seemed to get a nice, real smile out of him. Good.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really... Maybe later."

Alright, I could accept that.  
I wouldn't accept the frown that was starting to replace his smile once again, though.

I turned to him, playing with his hair.

Taking his long mane and covering his whole face with it, I combed my fingers through his locks.

"Hi hi~ what are you doing, dear~?"

"Cheering you up."

"By blinding me with my hair?"

"Yep"

"Hi hi~"

I fixed his hair again, this time pulling all of it behind him, showing his amused green eyes.

He was cute, with his hair like this. It showed his beautiful eyes.

Sadly, his bangs seemed to rebel rather fiercely. Maybe if I held it up with something...? I don't have any hair accessory to keep it up, though…

I sighed. His hair was so soft... I hugged the big mane of white strands, internally gushing over them.

How can someone as annoying as Undertaker have such beautiful hair? That must be one of life's biggest injustices.

Styling his hair in all sort of extravagant hairstyles, the ride back became way less gloomy.

"Thank you, Dalia."

"You're welcome Taker, always."


	21. Chapter 20

**My computer is baaaaaack and it wants chapters! Yay! I hope I didn't make you wait very much, I just got it back today.**

 **Thanks for all the reviews! I love all of them so damn much!**

 **guadadominguez4: I hope you enjoy this! The artifact will be explained in the bext chapter, sadly this is a chapter to rest a bit from all the excitement of the last one, but there's still a few important things~**

 **jj510: Yep, I think I would start running, if I ever saw Undertaker angry...**

 **Guest: I feel the same, poor Dalia should give it a rest. Sadly, she's an egg and she does what she wants, I can only hope she will see reason before it is to late.**

 **Howard: I need that wig of Undertaker, I won't take it off ever. About Vincent, thanks to your review, I got inspired to include a small insight as to the after-effects of taking care of Biscuit. You'll see it next chapter! Thanks for reviewing!**

 **megmeg: Thanks! Wao! That's impressive! I'm so glad you liked it so much to read it all in one sitting and then review, thank you so very much!**

 **LittleSkyCompass: Thanks! In fact it was seeing a lack of TheGamer fanfics in Kuroshitsuji what finally pushed me into writing, instead of just reading. I know I'm not very good with fight scenes and I should describe a bit more, and that's also a reason why I started this fic, to improve my writing skills. It's heart warming that you have my fic on such high regard, but I'm sure there are a lot of black Butler fanfictions that are far above mine, and iI have to keep improving. Gosh! The expectations are so high! I will do my best!  
Dalia and Taker are so cute that I literally blush as I write this chapters. Thanks for your support! I'm aware that the idea of a gaming power turns off a lot of people, thinking that it will be all stats and boring stuff, so I came here prepared to be ignored and leave this little piece for everyone who gives it a chance to enjoy, so in a sense, I feel like this fanfic is also dedicated to eveyone who gives every fic a chance to shine. I would love any help I get to improve my fanfic and I thank you very much for your offer. **

**Thanks to everyone who has read this far, I'm terribly sorry for this wall of text at the start of every chapter, but I have to say it guys. You're all amazing. You literally make my day everytime you write a review, even if it's only asking for an update, because to me, it shows that you care.  
Thanks to everyone who gave it a chance and decided to keep going. Thanks to everyone who gave this a chance and in tyhe end decided they didn't like it. Thanks to everyone who just stumbled by with nothing better to do. Thanks to everyone who has axiously waited for the next chapter to come (it's here just a sec). **

**And thank you especially to you, who is reading this horrible wall of text, because you just made my day, and I hope I'm making yours.  
You're amazing, remember that.**

 **There's still a lot of chapters to look forward to, so let's get going!**

 **Disclaimer: I can only dream about owning Black Butler.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

 _'You have gained a new skill [Create Clay Minion]'_

Oh! It worked!  
I can't believe it worked!  
Uh... Well, I guess I _did_ have a bit of hope it would work, or else I wouldn't have tried to do it in the first place.

"Look Taker! It worked!"  
A grumble was my only answer.  
The reaper, thrown across the bed, didn't seem that interested in what I was doing.

A prison-like alarm went off in the back of my head.

I was tinkering with my ability, Undertaker never missed a chance to pry into any information I garnered from my gamer ability.

The fact that he wasn't moving from the cheap bed of the cheap inn room we had decided to stay in, as it was getting late on the way back to London, showed that something was _definitely_ wrong.

"Taker?"

I was answered with a hum.

"What's gotten you so down...?"

"I'm not sad little Lia~... just tired."

...

He can't mean physically tired. He was like... invincible, as long as I'm aware. I think he meant another type of tiredness.

"Can I help in any way?"

A white haired head raised from its place over the pillow, supernatural green eyes looked at me.

"I'll... deal with it when we go back to London. I can wait." I frowned, about to protest. "So, What did you do now, with your cheating power~?"

"Hey! It's not cheating! And look! I made a clay sculpture..."

As I had slipped away to briefly test something in a dungeon, I found a slime… which dropped some magic clay, and I had been blessed with what I thought was the idea of the century.

Undertaker raised an eyebrow.

"...that moves!"

Right as the words flew from my mouth, I made the little dog-like sculpture raise its head, slowly moving their tail.

"Isn't it amazing?! It's magic! Although, it costs quite a lot of Mp to do... and it's kind of useless... and it moves very slowly... and I can only do it with this special clay… and it's quite hard to find those slimes..."

Undertaker was suddenly by my side, examining the clay dog with interest shining in his green eyes.

"But, I'm sure that if I raise my new skill, I can make better... minions... You know, saying that suddenly made me feel like I was evil... I'm not evil, right?"

"Impressive~..." great, he was ignoring me. "How did you even get that idea~?"

"I don't know... I was hit by a stroke of genius or something. I guess my points in intelligence aren't so wasted after all."

Undertaker snickered, going back to examine the clay dog.

"Does it move on its own~?"

"No... I have to actively think what I want them to do... I'm using my Mp to make it move... Uh... do you think if I made some sort of core, I could give them some kind of primitive sentience?"

"Why don't you try~?"

Huh... thinking about it, this could end up like a lot of movies in which robots gained the ability to think on their own, and they rebel against their masters...  
If I end up with a clay revolution on my hands, I will be in a lot of trouble.

...

Better be nice to the sculptures, then. Just in case.

Although, I better make a small amount of them at first, just in case they end up turning aggressive.  
One can never be too cautious, when dealing with revolution-seeking machines.

"What's with that face, little Lia~?"

"Oh, nothing. Just making plans to prevent a catastrophic disaster that I _definitely_ should have known better than to create."  
I may be a bit paranoid, but no one could blame me for carelessness.

Alright, let's try to make a core.  
Putting my hands on the clay figure, I gathered a fairly decent amount of its Mp, and tried to make it into a ball of sorts.

It didn't work, the moment I let go of the energy, it dissipated back into the dog.  
Maybe, instead of using the Mp already inside the dog, I should try to create a core separately. Afterwards I will think how to implement the core to the clay.

I tried doing the same I had done before, and made a palm-sized ball of energy. It wasn't solid, but...  
It kind of looked like a projectile.

Could I throw this?

"Eh... be right back... I kinda have a situation in my hands."

Undertaker looked at me, then at the yellow, miniaturized sun, glowing brightly in my hands.  
"I'll be here"

I made a dungeon. A snow one.

My projectile was somewhat warm, and I wanted to see if it would give fire damage. The creatures from the snow dungeon were very sensitive to fire damage. So were the enemies from the forest one, but I didn't really want to set the forest on fire. I kinda learned after the first time...

Putting the palm of my hand facing a small snow troll, I imagined expelling the energy, trying to hit the creature.  
The ball shot straight from my hand and into a surprised troll's back, who stumbled and fell face first into the snow.

" _You have created a new skill [energy ball]"_

It didn't give fire damage... which is a shame, instead of fire, it emitted light... but that probably meant I could use it against the creatures of the lava dungeon... and I could probably use it in the forest dungeon without risking another forest fire. Mhmm... Could I use it in the river dungeon...?

I... kinda hate the river dungeon.

Come on Dalia! This is for science!  
No! nope, no way am I going there.  
...Alright but the second something twiches wrong, I'm leaving.

I created a river dungeon, leaving the half burried in snow frost troll behind.

I was instantly submerged in water, but I wasn't worried. I don't know how or why, but I could breathe under this water.  
I still had to swim, but at least I didn't have to worry about drowning... and my clothes stayed dry.

This water is a very strange one, and I probably would have found this dungeon very interesting, if it wasn't for the creatures that dwelled in it.  
The river dungeon didn't really look like a river. It looked like an ocean, if anything. A deep ocean. A very scary deeep ocean. That seemed to have swallowed the whole town.  
An underwater version of reality, if you will.

I once tried to find the top of the water, to see if I could find air.  
I gave up after swimming upwards for an hour straight.  
The way down wasn't funny at all. I knew I should have given up before that, but I was sure I was almost there.  
I bet that if I had kept going a little bit more... maybe not. That had been my whole train of thought after the first half hour.  
I wasn't going to try again.

I swam to the window of the inundated room, looking through it. There was algae and small fish swiming by. In the middle of the room, the cheap bed from before had been replaced with a wet and rusted version of it, nicely adorned with barnacles. There were quite a bit of those attached to the walls and floor. Eww...

Looking through the window I could make _them_ out, waiting outside. Waiting for their foolish prey to make an appearance.

I shivered.

I opened the window, but didn't go out. I wasn't crazy, thank you. I would rather stay in the relative safety of this room.

I made another ball, this time pointing at one of the shadows lurking in the depths of the submerged town.  
As I started making it, the ball emitted a soft glow, making the shadow more visible.

I saw bone.  
Good... or, well, bad. I hate those, but it was what I had been looking for.

The shark, almost as if sensing the light, turned to me.  
It was a shark only in the most loose of the senses. It was all bone, the shape vaguely resembling a shark.

Although... the only real shark-like bones were the teeth.

I could make out at least three rows of sharp fangs inside that enormous maw of theirs. The mouth consisted simply of two big bones in the shape of a shark skull... if sharks had skulls.  
As long as I'm aware, sharks aren't supposed to have that many bones, but it's not like I could walk up to the shark and make them an interview.

Yes, hello Mr. Shark? Why do you have bones? I thought that sharks are supposed to have next to none? How do you stay alfoat? Why do you like to snack on innocent Dalias? How were you born? Did you eat your siblings, or did you simply swim out of your mother's _TORN APART stomach_?!  
Yeah, I'm sure that would go very nicely.

The shark roared, and I could make out the theme of jaws inside my head, as it lurked towards me.  
Oh, my. That's horrifying, I'm already scared, I don't need to wet my pants.

I threw the ball right inside its mouth.  
Looks like I did well, when I leveled up my throwing skill.  
...And I guess my panic sort of motivated me to aim correctly...

The shark suffered a spasm, suddenly turning in the opposite direction, trying to swim away.

I threw another ball at the retreating nightmare.

' _You have gained 3000 exp points.'_

It may look like it gave up, but these sharks had the horrible habit of returning when you least expect them to.  
Talking from experience, here. Sadly.  
I swear, half of the time I get away from things becaus of pure _luck_. And Taker. In that specific case, Taker is to be thanked. I was too busy crying.

The ball seemed to make an acceptable amount of damage, even in water.

I think I just found my favorite attack.  
It's perfect, it's moderately strong, even if not very fast, and the best of all: it allowed me to attack at a distance.

The farther I am from my enemies, the better.

...

But I kinda forgot the original use of the ball, didn't I? It was supposed to be a core of sorts. Not a waste of time, but I still shouldn't get derailed.  
Before leaving the dungeon, I eyed the items the shark had dropped.

They were slowly sinking into the darkness.

Was it worth the risk?

The sharks were scary... but they weren't the worst thing around here...  
I couldn't quite make out what the dropped items were... I saw a blurry speck of deep blue...

I think it was a potion...

Mhmm... Do I risk it?  
The more time I spend thinking about it, the deeper the objects will sink.

Alright, let's pray that the angry god that hates my guts is asleep.

Swimming out of the window, I swam to the items the fastest I could.

The deep ocean was terrifying. I could barely see, things here had a lot of sharp teeth and bad temper, and the _unknown_ lurking in the deep waters was absolutely frightening.

If I had the certainity that there was _nothing_ there, this dungeon would be sort of nice. But... yeah, everything in here eats Dalias and I'm too much of a coward to let myself be eaten.

Unlike other dungeons, the River one wasn't packed to the brim with enemies. In other dungeons, from the second you appear, you can see quite a few enemies, with more appearing the more you move or wait.  
In here, it wasn't like that. They appeared, of course, the bone shark I just killed is very much solid proof, but...

There were very few of them, in comparison.

Instead of that sending relief as it probably should, that only made me paranoid. What if they are indeed appearing. But _right outside of my vision_ preparing to sneak on me while I'm not paying attention, wanting to sink their sharp fangs in my soft fleshy...

Did I see something move?  
Right as I got to the items, I could swear I saw a flash of yellow eyes and sharp teeth on the edge of my vision.

Nope. Nopenopenopenope.

I grabbed the nearest item, a pair of potions, and hastily left the dungeon, leaving behind the money and bones. I think the shark also dropped its teeth...  
But I'm not going back in there. No way in hell.

Not while _that_ is around.

As I had left the inn, in the dungeon, when I broke the ID I was outside, forcing me to return to the inn behind me.  
I used the walk there to calm my racing heart. I'm not afraid of water, but that was freaking terrifying.

Once inside our room, I saw that Undertaker had resumed his previous activity: moping.

Uh...

I transformed into my chibi form, smaller that my original one. Cuter, too.

I ran to the bed, jumping on the reaper thrown across it.

The cheap bed creaked under the sudden added weight, but didn't break. Undertaker whined, too... and I think I heard something crack... but I don't think he broke... well, maybe his back, but I'm sure he will survive.

"Taker..."

"Yees...?"

"You're sad."

"Am not"

"Yes you are..." He has been since the fight with Zaphar...

He sighed, but said nothing.

"Are you... angry at me...?" He could be. I had stopped their fight, which he obviously didn't like. I did feel bad, but I didn't regret it.

The reaper raised his head from the pillow, turning to face me. He was frowning.

"I'm not angry, little Lia... why would I be?"

"I stopped your fight..." he had been a bit annoyed, when I had pulled him into a dungeon... but I didn't thing he would take it so bad... maybe he had taken it worse than I thought, and he was actually angry...?

I wasn't sorry, though. I didn't like fighting, and that had been the best option, in that moment.

"I'm not angry at you, little Lia... I... I didn't exactly _like it_ , when you stopped our fight... but I'm not angry at you..."

The mortician raised a hand towards me, but it was a little hard for him to touch me with it, considering I was sitting on his back.

"Then...?"

"I'm angry at him." He dropped his hand, voice slightly souring.

At Japhyr? Why?  
As long as I was aware, he hadn't done anything that would warrant Undertaker's anger.

I don't get it.  
I think that he's down... because he hadn't had the chance to properly fight Japhar? And now he's frustrated?

Or something stupid like that. I don't get it, really.

What did Japhar do? They had been fighting... somewhat normally. I mean... no insults, no taunts... they weren't even talking... No actual reason for someone as calm as Undertaker to get miffed. He had just... gotten angry mid-fight, without reason.  
I don't think I have seen Undertaker truly angry, before. Ever. But somehow, Japhyr has somehow done the impossible.

"I don't get it"

Undertaker sighed, tired.

He returned to his position in bed, hiding his face into the pillow.

"Why are you angry?" I tried to pry his head away, but he wasn't having it.

"..."

"Taker... come on, answer... I don't get it... if anything, I should be the one angry at him... and I'm not." I found it quite pointless, to be angry at him. So I wasn't.  
Why should I be angry? It's true that I could blame him for everything that happened... but what would that accomplish?  
And I was sure Undertaker was of the same mind. So to find him angry at someone was... strange.

Especially since the target of his anger is not even here.  
Undertaker, the usually fun-seeker, had decided to mope about something he couldn't change, instead of simply get over it, and keep having fun.

I looked left. I looked right. I also looked up and down, just in case.  
The world didn't seem to be ending... maybe it will take a while, for the effects to be noticeable?  
I'm sure somewhere, somehow, the world has collapsed into itself. There's no other explanation for Undertaker's strangeness.

...

Maybe he's a fake?

I pulled his cheek.

If it was, its disguise was a very good one.

I finally stopped straddling the reaper and sat next to him. He hadn't seemed to mind I was on him, then again I probably didn't weight very much, in this form.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

Just in case he wasn't the real Undertaker, I softly scratched the skin of his neck.  
If he was fake, either the scar would fade, I would find the mask of his disguise, or...

Undertaker started laughing like mad.

...or he wouldn't laugh.  
Alright, seems legit. He's the real deal. Now, how do I cheer up that stupid reaper?

I considered my options, while I absentmindedly tickled the hysterical reaper.

A pair of hands wrapped around my wrists, stopping me from further tickling him.  
The hands belonged to Undertaker.

As I allowed him to recover, I watched him.  
He was giggling, a grin splitting his face in two.

I think he'll be fine.

"So... why are you angry?"

Undertaker sighed, but seemed to give up.

"I saw him do... something that didn't sit right by me."

"Eh?"

"Did I tell you about cinematic records, didn't I?"

"Nope"

The reaper blinked, genuinely confused. "I didn't?" At least he seemed to have forgotten his bad mood, and seemed to truly be considering if he hadn't actually explained this to me.

"Nope. You just sprouted something about cinematic records and memories and whatnot, when you were... introducing the Bizarre Dolls to me. But you were a little bit too insane to really explain anything." I might have staid that a bit more sourly than needed, but it still sent shivers down my back, every time I thought about that incident.

"You're still angry about that, aren't you?"

"You still owe me" I was aware I was grumbling, and Undertaker sighed.

He fondly poked my cheek, bringing my attention back to him.  
"Cinematic records are... the memories of a person, in a way. When a person dies, a reaper cuts the cinematic record, bringing the life to an end. Have you ever heard that when you're about to die, your life flashes before your eyes?"

I nodded. I heard that somewhere, once or twice.  
"That's a reaper, using their death scythe to look at your cinematic record, judging if you should be allowed to live, or if you should die."

"That's a bit..." Are reapers allowed to decide on life and death? That's really hard... to have that responibility... "You're a bunch of filthy cheats"

I decided to ignore the fact that I was also a cheat, as humans aren't really supposed to be able to create parallel dimensions to create money and objects out of nowhere.

"So what, you saw his cinematic records?"

Undertaker nodded.

"How?"

At this, the reaper smirked, playfully kicking his legs around.

"With my death scythe~" I vaguely remember a scary skeleton... ah yeah. I saw that in his battle with Japhyr. If it wasn't because I already had enoth fuel to last me a lifetime, thanks to Japhar's innards sewing themselves together, that would have given me nightmares for a week.

"And you're angry... because you didn't like what you saw?"

"More or less~"

"Then... I'm sorry to break it to you, but... you're an idiot."

Far from getting offended, he seemed to find my words hilarious, as he threw his head back, sitting up so he could guffaw so hard that the lamp on the nighttable shook and almost fell.  
"Yes~ Yes I am~"

What a dork.

* * *

I couldn't sleep.

I had been trying to merge the would-be core with the clay, but so far, any attempts had resulted in failure.  
Undertaker had decided he had had enough of seeing my disapointed face and mopping glares at inanimated clay and dragged me to bed.  
And now I couldn't sleep, as I was still considering ideas to make it work. I was _almost_ sure I had the basics down.

Maybe, instead of simply inserting the core and hoping for the best, I could infuse the clay with magic, and then insert the...

No that wouldn't work, that was what I had been doing, before. The fact that I was still considering how to do this should speak volumes.

Maybe I should put the core first?

The problem I had noticed was that the core by itself wasn't enough to power the clay figurines, as it was trying to create the movement from the inside, rather than the limbs created for it.  
It was like they were trying to move snake-style, intead of using their perfectly-functioning feet.

Now, I only had to try it out, before I forgot what I was supposed to do...

I heard a snore next to me.

Which is kind of impossible, seeing as I'm currently trapped in Undertaker's death hold.

...

...

How do I slip from the reaper's grip without waking him?

...

I tried to slowly crawl downwards, in the hope that I would be able to slip past his arm, wrapped around me.  
Not only did I fail, but Undertaker also wrapped his leg around me, hanging onto me like a monkey.

...

Well... this is...

Oh! Of course!

I'm an idiot, I know what I have to do!  
I can enter a dungeon, and escape!

Carefully putting a pillow between me and the sleeping reaper to act as a replacement when I left, I created an empty dungeon, quickly breaking it when I considered I was far enough.

I eyed the reaped who I didn't hear move at all. I think he didn't notice.

Good, good. Plan succeeded.

Now I only have to make the minion work.

Tinkering with the clay to make a nondescript humanoid shape the size of my pinky finger, I inserted a small core, careful not to awaken the mortician with the faint light created when I made the core.

I made sure that it couldn't move.  
It just swayed from side to side, almost falling.

I know that, with a minion as small as this one, if I made the core slightly bigger, I could make it move, as long as I gave it a simple order to follow.  
The thing is, it still tried to move like a snake, regardless of any limbs I had given it.  
So, maybe, I should insert some magic paths to mimic human blood vessels... just with magic, instead of blood. The core would then be the "heart".

I tried to integrate the magic paths on the clay.

...

In the far off chance that you get the ability to infuse magic on an already magic object... don't try this at home.

It explodes.

...

As I received all the strength of a small explosion right at my face, I slowly turned head to look at the bed, wishing the sound hadn't awoken the reaper, even if I knew it was hopeless.

As the clay was very small, the explosion wasn't that strong, and it only made a small " _pop"_ and made my face turn black with soot... which I don't understand how it happened.

It was a magic explosion, I shouldn't have gotten covered in _soot_ of all things...

I didn't hear the reaper stirr, though... so I might still have another go... Just in case, I looked at the cheap, uncomfortable bed.  
On the it, I found the mortician, who hadn't stirred... because he was already awake, unamused face staring at me. Form knowing him for so long, I knew his expression was threatening to break into laughter. Otherwise I would have started groveling, because he wast rying to make astern face. _Trying_.

He wanted to scold me for leaving bed and experimenting on my own, but he couldn't do it without laughing at my soot covered face.

He patted the bed.

I looked at the place the minion had occupied. Now, only soot darkened the floor. I hope we don't have to pay extra for that, this room is not worth a single pence more than the already paid.

Mhm...  
Maybe, instead of creating new magic paths, I could use the already existing magic from the core to create those magic vessels...

The reaper patted the bed next to him again, this time louder. My last chance to go back to bed before he forced me to.

"Yessir..."

"And clean your face, dear~"

"Yessir..."


	22. Chapter 21

**Hello dear readers! This is a very important chapter, as it's finally revealed the artifact's true nature! Finally, the day has come... I'm so proud of our poor Dalia...**

 **For those that noticed the new cover... well, I did that myself two nights ago, while I was supposed to be working on a project so... considering I was sleep deprived when I did it, and that I was mostly fooling around, I think it's not too bad, is it?  
I did it a bit quickly and messily, and it may not be the best cover, but this poor story was in serious need of one, so... I hope you like it!  
** **Dalia looks done with Taker's shit in the cover... xD**

 **Without further ado, here are the answers to your lovely reviews!**

 **Thetankgirl: She does tend to overthink things which is both a curse and a blessing.**

 **silverwolf-fox: Good old Taker has a very careful eye on her, doesen't he? I fear that Dalia's sudden idea may end up being misused by that rascal reaper. Let's hope Dalia knows how to deal with that. (Heads up: she doesen't).**

 **LittleSkyCompass: Monsters do have very interesting and useful drops, Skill Books are among those rare drops, but a cartain someone has to be convinced that it will be useful to her and her mission.  
As for what Undertaker saw: It was indeed Dalia's death, what he saw, but I feel like he's a very sneaky individual, and wouldn't want to tell her directly that it's because of her, that he's sad. Which knowing dalia, will only make her feel responsible for Undertaker's sad mood.  
Taker is a grown man, he can take care of himself. **

**jj510: Thanks! I do what I can, because let's be honest: Undertaker is not exactly the most open character in Kuroshitsuji, and I don't think that would change for anyone, even for sweet Dalia. He just likes witholding information and using it to scare us to get a laugh, but that's just how it is.**

 **I love that you think it was good, I was a bit nervous that it was a bit too short... then again, it's not the shortest chapter I've published...**

 **Howard: I'm definitely going to include a wig of Undertaker's hair in this story sooner or later, it's my lifetime goal now. Even if I have to leave Undertaker bald to do it.**

 **Cute-but-psycho824: thanks! I actually have a lot of fun writing these chapters, and it makes me very happy that everyone else seems to enjoy them!  
This chapter happens the 24th of April, in 1884. That's a year away (actually it's almost two) from the... "incident" where Ciel and Sebastian met. Don't worry though, we will get there very soon and I have that particular chapter written and waiting for its turn like a good little chapter. **

**guadadominguez4: f?  
** **I'm guessing that there was some trouble with fanfiction and that you're the Guest that wrote a very similar review to the one you PM'd me.  
Don't worry about fanfiction, it sometimes likes to troll us, and it's sometimes not very funny.  
About your review: Thanks! I love that you gave this story a chance! A little space to laugh and have fun is everything I could ever wish to make of this story, which incidentally stars a character that absolutely adores laughter!  
An Undertaker who is not laughing is a very dangerous one, for sure, and it kills me that this may not be the last time we get to see him somewhat sad.  
Our poor Lia is a bit too slow to really think about making an army of her own... but Undertaker may just plant the seeds for that idea to grow, one can never know!  
** **She would make for a very good evil overlord... or, well Undertaker can put the "evil" in that title, and she can take care of the "overlord" part. They would definitely be a very devastating enemy to face... I'm mourning the sanity of the poor fool that decides to anger them. Don't worry! Here's the next chapter, with the big reveal just waiting to be read and hopefully surprise all of you... or well, some of you.**

 **Someone realized the true nature of the artifact way before I said anything. Props to you!**

 **Disclaimer: This chapter is brought to you by** **Sharks... what you though I was gonna say that I don't own Black Butler? Well, I don't, but that's no reason to overlook the fact that sharks** **are scary.  
At the same time, sharks are not the worst thing lurking in the river dungeon. Sweet nightmares!**

 **I think my walls of text get longer and longer these days...**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Light was coming through the window, the curtains were half-closed, and the treacherous morning light sneaked inside, falling on a pair of asleep bodies.  
The only thing to be heard was soft breathing and the occasional rustle of cloth.

I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin, but I was too sleepy to pay it any mind.  
When the evil sunlight decided to fall on my eyelids, I just turned around, hiding my face in my pillow.

"Good morning~"

"...Pillows don't talk, 'taker"

I was only answered with a giggle.

I exhaled a deep sigh. Snuggling closer to the warmth of the body I was hugging. Said body was, in turn, trapping me in their arms, sneaking around me like a pair of anacondas.

I felt like a sandwich. A warm sandwich.

Not a bad experience, actually.

I felt the compelling call of sweet sleep, beckoning me back into dreamland.

I may have fallen back to sleep. I'm not sure.

What I am sure of, is that it felt like no time at all had passed, when the bedmate I was using as a pillow started stirring, trying to sneak out of my clutches.

I whined.

"I have to open shop, dear~"

"Take the day off."

Giggling, he chided me.

"As tempting as that sounds, we have a few things to do, today. Like pick up the little cookie from Phantomhive. Maybe another day~"

"Nooo..."

"Hi hi~ let go, little Lia~… Weren't you all worried about the dog's safety, not that long ago~?"

"No..."

He was warm, no way am I giving up such soft, warm pillow. Especially since I know he stole that warmth from me.  
Biscuit would understand.

"Five more minutes."

I heard a playful grumble that I decided to interprete as "only five, though~" followed by a chuckle.

He did settle back, despite his protests.

I kept clutching his pajama shirt in my hand, just in case he decided to sneak out before time was up. Or even after.  
I had to open my eyes when something kept tickling my nose, and I found a silver lock right in front of my face.

I blew it away.  
The silver lock flew away, revealing the chest I was using as a pillow. I was right in front of the cute cat I had sown into Undertaker's pajama shirt.  
Raising my face to look at my pillow, I found myself face to face with a... silver bush, from the looks of it.

Actually, it was just Undertaker. His hair was literally _everywhere_. In fact, the only visible part of his face was his nose, peeking out between a pair of locks. I felt the need to giggle, but I was too tired to actually do anything but yawn.

Yawning, I went back to pressing my face against the cute cat-pajama, carefully considering if it was worth it, to get up to brush the mortician's hair.

I grumbled.

As long as I don't look at it, it's fine. I'm stronger than my need to brush his hair.

Just don't look at it.

...

But I _know_ it's there.

I growled, sleepily getting up. I'm not stronger than my need to brush his hair. I'm weak.

"Brush..."

I didn't get farther than sitting on the bed, before Undertaker offered me the brush.  
I hadn't even noticed when he got up to get it.  
Looking blankly at the brush, I thought absolutely nothing.

My mind was completely blank.  
"Wakey Wakey~"

I blinked.  
Ah, Yes.  
I brushed his hair. It was a mess.

Luckily, I didn't fall asleep while brushing Undertaker's hair, nor did I somehow screw up terribly.

I did grumble the whole time, I'm not sure why, but I was distantly aware of the fact.

Brr... It was getting cold, without my Taker-pillow.

Once I deemed the reaper as ready, I tried to hug him again to regain lost warmth, but the old man ended up slipping away despite my best efforts.

I ignored the giggling mortician, who I heard walking away from the bed.

I dropped on my back, falling asleep.

...

Or... well. I would like to think I did fall asleep at some point.

But I was distracted, hearing Undertaker rustle around the room, to properly go back to sleep. I opened an eye, lazily looking at the Reaper.

I wasn't even processing what he was doing.

He was looking for his robe, apparently. Because that's the only article of his usual clothing he was lacking.

He was already dressed in his long coat that reminded me of some sort of reverend, or religious figure, and his long boots with heels.

He had set his peculiar hat aside, while he looked for his uniform.

"Do you know where my uniform is, little Lia~?"

"Mhnngmm"

"I'm afraid I cannot understand that language, dear~"

I mumbled again, tying to speak the word clearly.  
"...Drying..."

"I see~"

He scratched his head, thinking about it for some time. When he made a movement to get his hat and leave the room, I decided to ask something that bothered me every time I saw the clothes he wore underneath the robe.

"Hey... Taker..."

"Yes~?" He stopped by the doorway, turning to me.

"Why do you wear priest clothes?"

He got a rather confused look on his face.

"I don't wear priest clothes~"

"And what about that?" I pointed at him and his clothes.

He looked at himself.

"I'm not wearing priest clothes, dear..."

"How is that not a priest's clothes? The only thing you're lacking is the neck thingy they wear. And even that is very similar to your... whatever that is"

"Neck thingy...? You mean a clerical collar?"

"Yes, that."

"Little Lia... what I'm wearing is not a cassock~, it's a lab coat~"

...

I stared.

"How is that a lab coat? It isn't white"

"It's a lab coat, why would it be white?"

"Lab coats are white."

"No they are not~"

I left it at that. Apparently our concepts of what a lab coat consisted of, were too different to understand the other's point of view.

I grumbled, curiosity sated, and turned back to my pillow, my actual pillow, the not-undertaker pillow, back to sleeping.

* * *

I woke up covered in sweat, my heart beating insanely fast, and a scream stuck in my throat.

I looked around. I was in Undertaker's bedroom... well, our bedroom I guess. I sat up on the bed, looking around, I was alone.  
Ah... we still had to pick up Biscuit.  
Maybe that's why I had a nightmare, because I was alone.

I rubbed my eyes, how much time had I slept, since Undertaker left the bed?  
Not very much, of that I am sure.  
I tried to regain my breath, calming my racing heart.

I put my head on my hands. The room was getting smaller, or was it my imagination?  
It's always the same dream... more of a nightmare, really.  
Well... to be more precise... it's a memory.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to meditate, trying to push away any reminders of the dream. It wasn't working, not while I was alone in here. I couldn't stay in this room.

I got up, still in my pajamas, and ran downstairs. I couldn't stay there, alone.

The shop was covered in darkness, candles illuminating the room. Despite the great amount of candles around, it was still very dark. That was probably because the curtains were drawn, preventing any light from entering the shop.

I found Undertaker inside a coffin.

"Good morning, little Lia~"

"...morning..."

He blinked, and from the frown that immediately overtook his face, I knew that he knew.  
"Nightmare?" More or less...

I shrugged.

Softening his eyes, he petted my head, asking if I wanted to talk about it.

Did I?

Did I want to talk about it?  
"I was... alone in a locked room... I cried but... no one heard me. I was afraid, but I couldn't run."

He wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer. I pressed my nose against his shoulder, drawing comfort. He smelled nicer today.

He smelled like freshly-baked cookies... more than usual.  
He had been making cookies, I can tell. You can't fool this nose.  
"Cookies?"

Undertaker blinked and nodded, still eyeing me from time to time, unconvinced if I was really fine, or just wanted to change the subject.

We discussed what happened on our very short vacation-trip over cookies and milk. Undertaker was sneakily stealing cookies from me, but I let him. Mainly because I was unable to catch him in the act. He was quick, when he wanted.

"So... we've learnt quite a few things of our prey, haven't we~?"

"Can we not call Jafar that? I'm don't want to kill him, even if he's an ass."

"Jafar...?"

"Uh..."

"Zephyr."

Uh, that wasn't even close.

"Well, him."

"And why, pray tell, do you still refuse to kill him? I'm sure that, by now, you know he's not precisely a saint~"

"That's still no reason to kill him."

"...You are aware that he has killed others, and will probably continue to do so, until he gets what he wants, right? That kind of people don't stop until they are made to."

"I... know... I still won't kill him."

"Why?"

"I... don't think it's really my place to say who lives and who dies... and... well, I really cannot hurt others knowingly. I just... can't. It's..." I breathed in, looking at my hands. "I know he probably deserves death, I know. And I know I would probably save some people from him, if I did kill him. But... I can't do it. I'm not like that. I can't hurt others, I'm a cowardly, lonely girl that barely understands the basics of normal friendship. I'm... not a killer."

Undertaker sighed. Rubbing a hand over his temples, he seemed to be warding off a headache.

"I can't tell if you're too kind or too stupid"

"Can I choose? Because 'kind' sounds better, in a resume." I received the reaper's flat glare. "If not... maybe a few exclamation points next to kind? I'm satisfied with that... alright I'm stupid"

Undertaker sighed, smile threatening to turn his frown into a smile.  
"There's a... slight conflict of interests between you two, then. And it's starting to get more annoying than entertaining, dear~. So... why don't you actually cooperate~?"  
I could actually imagine a "You little shit" attached to the end of that sentence. His face told that he was indeed thinking something along these lines...

Except that… I'm not sure who is he talking to. Surely not me... he was using a tone of voice so different that the one he normally uses around me, that I cannot believe he is really referring to me... and...He did say "you two", didn't he?

Is... Is there anyone here, beside the two of us?

I looked around, confused. The kitchen was the same as always: small, dark, slightly cramped, warm and empty. The only two chairs next to the single table were both occupied by Undertaker and myself, obviously.

There was no one else.  
Biscuit was still with Phantomhive, as we had returned sooner than expected from our short trip. We had to go get them today.

"Uh... Taker...?" I... know he has a few screws loose, but... he usually made sense, when he talked... most of the time. Right now, he wasn't making sense.

He brought a hand closer to me, using it to point at... Tofu?

"Stop acting stupid and face the consequences of your actions~." Undertaker was smiling a... not very nice smile, actually. He looked like he just swallowed a lemon.

Oh... oh, my.

"Uh... Undertaker... I... know, this must be... Uhm... confusing, but... eh... I know I usually talk to Tofu like he can hear me but... he's... not actually... you know... alive."

Undertaker had finally lost it.

I... know he was never very sane, he has his better moments and his fear-inducing bad moments, but… well, he usually retained a silver of logic, even in his worse moments.

I'm... not very sure if I should try to reason with him, though. He may not listen to me.  
What if he ends up having a breakdown because I pointed out his delusions?

Undertaker, on his part was looking blankly at me.  
He finally decided to smile benignly. I found that smile terribly fake.

It was unsettling.

"But... little Lia~, the clown _is_ alive."

Maybe... I should just go along with it? I heard once that the best course of action when dealing with unstable people was to go along with it...

"I... see" I nodded, like I wholeheartedly agreed with whatever insanity he was about to sprout next. "Of course, you're totally right." At this he went blank again.

"Dalia, I'm not insane, I'm telling the truth."

"Of course, I believe you. Totally."

"Dalia."

His tone had lost all inflection, by this point, he just... looked done.

Until he apparently decided that this was Tofu's fault somehow, and pointed at him, accusing him of feigning lifelessness.

Tofu was just a toy, so he couldn't defend himself. Luckily I was there to defend him.

"Hey, leave poor Tofu alone, he's just a toy, he hasn't done anything to you." Undertaker seemed just about to snatch Tofu from my hold, and break it to a million of little pieces. "Calm down, Taker..."

He wasn't really that worked up, but I was worried that he might be having an episode of insanity, or something... in the year that we have been together, the only time he had acted unstable was when he introduced his dolls to me...

Dolls, clowns...  
Maybe his episodes of insanity were produced by toys? If so, I should look out for those in the future, just in case Undertaker turns out to have a phobia of them or something...

I got up from the chair, leaving Tofu well out of the reaper's range, just in case he decided to take out his problems on the clown, and put both hands on Undertaker's shoulders, making a show of taking a deep breath, signaling that he should do the same. He did, even if he was pouting all the way.

He didn't seem really angry, like back with Zephyr. He did look very annoyed, though.  
I still wanted to make sure this wasn't going to end up like the first time. back then, I had allowed him to get too worked up, maybe this time if I keep him calm, it will turn out... not as bad.

"Better? You shouldn't stress yourself over these things too much." I'm not sure what 'those things' are, but the less he worries over them, the more sane he acts. I still suspect a secret fear of toys.

"Yeah, you shouldn't stress your pretty little head too much, you will get grey hairs"

Ha!  
Hey, that was ingenious! Because Undertaker's hair is already... white...

Wait a second.

Who said that?  
That definitely wasn't me... and it wasn't Undertaker either, even if he looked like he just got a ticket to see a comedy unfold before him.

"That... was that you?"

"Nope~"

I felt a shiver crawl up my spine. Dread pooling in my stomach, I let out a pained whine.

"Urgh... it's like hearing a puppy being skinned alive. Stop that. Now." There it was. The same voice.  
Alright, I was willing that I might be wrong, that maybe Undertaker was right and he doesen't have a fear of toys...

I was currently hanging onto Undertaker's shoulders like my life depended on it. I couldn't turn to look, I was sure doing so would be disastrous. Like some sort of signal to let all hell loose.

This moment looks like taken out of a horror movie.

Don't tell me... please don't tell me that Kim was right, after all, and that Tofu got possessed by a demon or gained life because I pampered it too much, and now it wants to kill me in my sleep.

I'm dead. I'm definitely dead.  
I'm sorry Kim, I should have listened to you.  
Fuck you Kaito. You're an asshole.

"Come on, little Lia~ don't cry~. Here, here~" The mortician wiped the recently formed tears away. "Look at what you did, you scared her." The accusation was clear in Undertaker's voice. Even if he was still smiling amusedly. He was taking revenge, the ass.

"Oi! Don't blame me, old man! You're the one that wanted me to explain!"

"Don't call me old man~, coming from you it's insulting~" The animosity was clear between the two.  
Then... how? Why?

What?

I...  
I'm not fainting. I can't faint now, resist Dalia, resist.  
"Can..." tears started to form once again, I still couldn't even look at where the voice was coming from, right behind me.  
I was starting to believe it really was Tofu talking. I couldn't look. All my attempts to resist fainting would be moot point if I actually looked at it. "...explain...?" my voice was like a dying whisper, but... I was heard.

By Undertaker at the very least.

"Yes~ why don't you explain~ hi hi" I was pressing my whole face against his neck, in an attempt to NOT look at where I was sure Tofu sat.

"Uh... what a bother. You already know, don't you? Explain it yourself then, it's not like it matters who does the explaining."

"No, no~ I'm sure you can explain way better than me what happened~ after all..." Undertaker's voice got all low and menacing "...this is _your_ fault~"

I felt tears starting to swell in my eyes, once again.  
I want Biscuit baaaack... they are way more reassuring that anyone in this room right now...

Usually I would... pet Tofu's head... but uh... well. Not a very good idea right now.  
"Wuhhh..." I tightened my arms around Undertaker, even if I felt like running out of the shop until everything was back to normal.

"Argh! Alright, alright... I'll explain. Whadda ya want to know? I can tell you almost anything from the recipe that useless blind old man uses to make cookies to the day, year and hour you were supposed to d-" "How about you stop trying to distract her, and tell her everything~? From the very beginning." At that last sentence Undertaker's voice got even darker, interrupting whateven the toy had been about to say.

I slowly, very slowly, turned my head to where I had left Tofu, right behind me.

At first galnce, nothing seemed amiss. Tofu was sitting on the table, opposite seat that Undertaker was occupying. I was sitting on Undertaker.  
Tofu was... still Tofu, surprisingly.  
It was the same angry clown, with obsessedly neat brick hair, white skin, small red nose and head far too big for its body. Still not scary.

That... made me feel better. Just slightly.

Tofu hadn't grown sharp fangs nor demon horns. He was still the same Tofu as always.  
Nothing had really changed, the clown was still the same. For a second, I considered that maybe the voice hadn't actually come from Tofu, and that this was a prank of sorts from Undertaker.  
And then the toy moved.

It's small, yellow eyes were looked straight at me, the normally always open mouth, closed and opened in sync with the voice I was hearing.

"You shut up! You don't get to talk, you pedophile! This is about pots and kettles!"

What?

There are so many wrong things with what I just heard that I don't know where to begin.  
"Pots and kettles...?"

I think he meant to say 'look at the pot calling the kettle back' rather than... whatever that was.  
Second, pedophile?

I'm... not going to question that.

I looked at Tofu and Undertaker both.  
They know what is going on, but are too busy making scathing remarks at each other to actually pay me any mind.

"... hi hi hi~ interesting~... coming from a being that feigned non-sentience for an awful amount of time~"

"At least I don't have to _feign sentience_ , like some undead mummy whose time is definitely over."

This isn't going to end well.  
I needed to stop the fight before it starts, but I don't understand what is going on...

"Tofu... talks?"

"Sadly~"

"Yeah, I talk. Yadda yadda yadda... You're real' slow, aren't 'cha?"

Uh...  
"…Can I know why?"

"No, you can't."

"Yes she can~. Or you'll have to forget about getting rid of Zephyr."

Uh... "I'm... still here..."

"Grah!" I jumped behind the reaper. Tofu hadn't meant to scare me with that... probably. It looked more like an outburst from exasperation, rather than anger.

"How much thicker can you get? Zephyr is after me, you dingus. I gave you your powers. Artifact Hello? That's me, I'm the one Zephyr is after. Now, is there anything else you don't understand?"

...

"...everything?" I think I had started crying again.

"And this time gentler~, you don't need to take out _your_ problems on her~"

"Urgh! I think I left everything quite clear didn't I? Zephyr wants my ass on a plate..." Tofu has an ass? "...and to escape from him, I gave you your powers, so you could become strong and defeat him."

... Uh?

"But... Kaito..."

"Yeah, he found me, didn't know I was alive. He gave you to me..." I think it should be: 'he gave me to you', seeing as Kaito had given Tofu to me, not the other way around... "...and the rest is history, Zephyr found us, so I moved us somewhere else. Anything else you want to know?"

I... this is all so confusing that... I don't know... this is a lot to take in.

"Why...?" I'm not sure what I had wanted to ask, and Tofu lost his patience quite quickly when I failed to add anything else, and started trying to fill in the blank.

"Why what? Why did I bring you here of all places? This was Zephyr's home dimension, and he doesn't like it very much, I thought it would give us more time before he found us.

Why did I give powers to Zephyr in the first place? In that moment we had shared the same goal, but not anymore.

Why didn't I reveal I was alive all this time? Are you mental? At best, you would have run away crying. At worst you would have given me up to Zephyr." I wanted to protest that claim, but Tofu wasn't waiting for anything, he just kept vomiting more and more words. "Why did I choose that power? ...it's just..." he got a little bit quieter here, eyes slipping somewhere far away, before returning to their angry glare "...I don't know! I saw you play all these games all the time, so why not? Did that answer your questions?"

For a being that had spent at least five years pretending to be a toy, Tofu was very impatient.

I... wanted to ask Tofu why he had stayed with me, all those years.  
He had only pushed me into another dimension when Zephyr had learned of his whereabouts. He could have left long ago. He could have stayed with someone else.  
But... I had the feeling he wouldn't be truthful, if I asked.  
At least not while Undertaker is listening in.

I got up from Undertaker's lap, the reaper had been thankfully silent throughout Tofu's rant.

"Undertaker... can you go get me a blanket... it's quite cold." The aforementioned raised an eyebrow incredulous.

I looked at him, then at Tofu, trying to convey my intentions.  
I wanted to have a moment alone to talk with Tofu. I felt horrible asking him to leave, but... I felt this was something between Tofu and I.

He nodded, getting up and walking downstairs.  
I turned to the clown, who was eyeing suspiciously the door that Undertaker left through.

"Tofu... Why did you stay?"

"What, did you want me to leave?"

I felt my eyes widen. "No! I just... wanted to know. You could have left... look for someone else... why didn't you?"

The clown was still and silent, and for a moment I thought he was going to act like an inanimate object again.  
"We had... a mutual interest, nothing more."

I sat on the chair Undertaker had left, waiting.  
"You were pathetic alright? Pitiful. Like an abandoned dog. I..."

I wasn't sure if Tofu needed to be comforted or not, but I reached a hand towards him. The toy eyed the hand and scoffed disdainfully.

When I didn't pet his head after some seconds, he eyed me sideways, took a step closer to my hand, and turned his head away again, looking at anything but me.

Was he...? Asking to be pet, while denying wanting it?

Uh...

"Is it alright?"

"Meh! You lowly humans need so many reassurances, you _may_ pet me, human, but have this clear, _I don't enjoy it_ , alright? I'm just letting you do it, so you don't go away crying to that pedophile."

Why does he call Undertaker that...?

"You shouldn't call Undertaker something like that... it's not nice." Besides, the only kid Undertaker got close to was Biscuit. And sometimes the Phanthomhive twins, but he usually kept to Vilvent, as he seemed to be his favorite Phantomhive. And it wasn't in a pedophilic manner. To neither of the previously mentioned people. Even Vilvent.  
He looked so young that I felt the need to clarify...

"I'll call him whatever I want, he's a pervert old man that should go back to doing the only thing his kind is good at: snooping into other people's lives." At that, I stopped petting his head, about to protest Tofu's treatment of Undertaker. "Who said you can stop, human? Keep going." I resumed the petting of Tofu's head.

I think he secretly enjoys it. He's not very subtle.

I thought about what has been said.  
Tofu was behind my ability? Did that mean he was the one that gave me the mission to kill Zephyr?

If so, could he... make the mission go away? I will never complete it.  
"I... can't kill, Tofu."

The toy opened its eyes, looking at me. He wasn't scary, even now, he wasn't scary at all. He never was.  
"I need that guy dead, he will never stop. Ask the pervert, I'm sure he won't mind lending you a hand." He grumbled something I didn't catch, although I think it involved legs? I probably heard that wrong.

"Tofu..."

"What is it now?"

"Ah... I..."

"Stop stuttering and spit it out." I stoped petting the toy to nervously move aside a lock of my hair "And I still didn't say you could stop."

I restarted the ministrations on the clown's head. He was cute… although a bit rough around the edges.  
"Did you... you... You did something else, didn't you?"

"Meaning?"

"Ah... I just... had the feeling that... I... I don't know. Sorry."

The clown sighed, relenting. "Yeah, I did have a hand in getting your parents out of the picture, if that's what you're asking."

I flinched.

My teeth started gnawing on my bottom lip, anxiously waiting for him to elaborate.

"I didn't like them, so I took them out. They didn't deserve you anyway. They were on the way."

I frowned, I opened my mouth to try to say anything, I should say something to defend them, but...

"You were happier without them, right? They locked you up all day long, with no one to talk to for days. You can't say anything to defend them, you know I'm right."

I felt sick.  
Petting Tofu was helping only a little, as he was the one that was leaving me nauseous with his words. True words, but he could have worded that better.

"...Can we talk about something else? I don't want to talk about this"

"Something besides your life being ruined by your parents, sure why not, what do you wanna talk about? Your amazingly empty friend life? Oh, that's still thanks to them, isn't it? Then how about...?"

"I said stop!" I was gripping the edge of the table like it was my only salvation. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing that Undertaker wasn't here. On one hand he wouldn't have to listen to this, on the other, I couldn't really draw comfort from him if he wasn't next to me.

I took deep breaths, feeling like my stomach was doing backflips inside me. And not in a pleasant manner.

"I helped you." Tofu's word were carefully devoid of emotion. Like he was just stating facts. "I made your life easier. I made you happy. So..." at this he looked away, voice still emotionless. "...why can't we just get this over with and go home? Go back..."

To go back... I...  
I would need to kill somebody to go back.  
"I'm... I'm not a killer. I can't take a life."

I really couldn't. I tried to imagine myself, trying to kill Zephyr in cold blood... and I couldn't. I simply couldn't.  
"I'm sorry."

"Me too"

* * *

...

There was something different in the Phantomhive garden, today… but for the life of me, I couldn't point out what it was.

…

Oh! Of course! I'm an idiot.  
"Was Phantomhive manor's garden always like this?"

"I don't think so, no~"

The precious garden at Phantomhive estate was _ruined_. What was left of the trees had turned into charcoal, any flower bed that wasn't burnt was completely uprooted, and there was a big dent in the mansion wall closest to the garden where all the destruction had taken place.

A butler that I recognized (after five minutes of squinting at him) as Tamako... eh...Tanaka, came out to receive us, suit impeccable, even if his facial hair was slightly singed at the edges.  
"The Master is waiting for you at the garden. Allow this servant to show our esteemed guests the way there" He didn't mention Biscuit, but I had a feeling that in the day that they had spent with Phantomhive, they had... not behaved very nicely.

Even if Undertaker probably knew the way to the garden, he allowed Tama... eh…Tanaka to lead the way, me trailing behind like the good girl I was.

Once in the garden, the butler left us.

I didn't pay that much attention to that, because I found Biscuit there.  
Precious, sweet Biscuit. They had missed us so much. And I had missed them so much more.

"Biscuiiiiit!"  
The dog had noticed me way before I registered their presence, and was already running in my direction like they hadn't seen me in forever, mouth open wide and tongue trailing behind with the wind.

I transformed into my chibi form, which was admittedly not a good idea, as Biscuit wasn't in their kid form.

Now picture a giant hell-dog, mouth the size of a small car open wide, running in the direction of a girl the size of a big baby. Terrifying, right? Well, I didn't think so until Biscuit tackled me, making us roll around the carbonized dirt.

By then, it was already too late, though.

When we finally rolled to a stop, I decided to greet the demon hound like they deserved. With lots of love, kisses and hugs. The poor thing must have missed us so much.  
"Were you a good little doggy for Phantomhive? Were you? Of course you were, you're always a good doggy" Such a good dog!

"My maids can only wish they could get that dog to act like _that_ "

Phantomhive had suddenly materialized next to Undertaker, sweatdropping and smiling at the same time.  
Well, maybe he had been there for a while, but I was too busy to notice.

"Hi hi~ well, I can only wish she would act with me like she does with the dog~ he he… Did you have trouble with the cookie dog~?"  
What a stupid question, Biscuit doesn't give trouble at all!

I eyed the burnt garden.  
Well, at least not usually...

"What did you do with Phantomhive? Did you run? Did you have fun? Did you play? What a good dog you are! Yes you are! I bet you missed us, didn't you? Didn't chu?" Biscuit happily, thrilled with all the attention they were getting. Their tail was moving so fast it was hard to see it.

"The dog was very agreeable..."

"Really~?"

"Yes..." At Undertaker's glance at the garden Vilvent decided to elaborate "…until nighttime came and it realized it wasn't allowed to go home. We have been cleaning since this morning"

Vilvent's smile didn't twitch from its place in his face, but I did see a small twitch of an eye.

"Hi hi hi~ we~ell... if you really didn't have any problems with taking care of our dog, I guess you wouldn't mind repeating the experience sometime, right~?"

Vilvent's smile froze.

"I'm afraid such a gratifying experience must be lived only once in a lifetime, but I thank your offer, maybe when Ciel inherits my title he will be willing to accept that offer, if it's still standing" I eyed my cookie rival. I think that meant: 'Not while I'm alive, asshole'.  
I'm getting good with the noble-english translating process.

"Hi hi hi hi~! I see, I see~ you should be more honest with yourself~ he he~"

The mortician turned to me after poking the earl's smile with his finger.  
"Come on little Lia~"

"Five more minutes!"

"Nope~"

"Four more minutes!"

"Little Lia, I know what you're doing, Let's go~"

"You didn't greet Biscuit yet!"

The reaper patted the dog's leg twice.  
"Hello to you, cookie dog~… now, Little Lia~ come on, unless you want to stay for tea~?"

Uh. No.

I did ask Undertaker to leave early, didn't I?

I wanted to think a bit more about what happened this morning with Tofu, but...

"Can I at least say goodbye to Tanaki and the twins?"

"..."

"Eh... Tanaka. I meant Tanaka. Tanaka and the twins"

* * *

I was wrapped inside a blanket, Tofu sitting motionless on my lap, Biscuit attached to my side like I would disappear the moment they teared their eyes away.  
Undertaker was inside the coffin closest to us. Everything was silent, except for the sounds of cookies being eaten. That was me, of course.

The shop was still submerged in darkness. This was a waste of candles, there was still light outside, if we opened the curtainswe could let light in, and avoid wasting candles.

When I got up to actually open said curtains, Undertaker jumped out of the coffin, walking towards me.  
I looked at him, waiting to see what he wanted. He stared at me.

We just looked at each other, saying nothing.  
He was smiling mischievously, twitching his fingers like... I don't know what he was trying to do, but it creeped me out.

When we both failed to say or do anything of notice, I decided to just keep going my way.  
Opening the curtains, I let the light enter the shop, illuminating the space.  
I went to open the next set of curtains. Then the next. Undertaker trailing behind me.

It seemed, though, that no matter how many curtains I opened, there was always another one closed, and it never seemed to get much brighter, either.  
There weren't that many windows in the shop! What the...?

I turned to Undertaker, and saw him close the curtains I had just opened.

I stared at him. Why. Why would he?  
"What are you doing?"

"Preserving the ambience of my shop~, of course~"

...

"Why."

"Why what, dear~?"

He's basically undoing my job.  
"You're wasting candles unnecessarily."

"How can I have a dark atmosphere when it's all so light, clean and nice~?"

"Why do you need a dark atmosphere...?"  
Actually, I think I know the answer to that: creep out people.

"Aww~ the ambience of the shop is very important~, little Lia~" If he says so...

He closed the remaining curtain, submerging the parlor in shadows once again.  
I went back to my seat next to Biscuit, with Tofu on my lap. Resuming my previous activity, munching on cookies.

Tofu... he hadn't said anything since we got Biscuit back. I... think he's angry... but not quite. He's grumpy.  
Tofu is really grumpy and impatient, it's... strange.  
Tofu... was the demon artifact Zephyr had been looking for... did Undertaker know that? He probably did, but since when?

I guess that would explain how Undertaker knew the priest didn't have the artifact in his possession.

I held my head in my hands, lost in thought.

A lot had happened, since we left for...

...

...

Ex?

Sensex? Something like that.

I breathed in.

If Tofu was responsible for everything that happened... did that mean he was behind the... time reset? Tofu was really powerful, then.  
And he gave me this power... because he saw me play games on the computer?

I smiled.

What a dork.

I petted Tofu's head. Even if he didn't visibly react, I was sure Tofu actually enjoyed the ministrations.

Tofu... he wants to go back home.  
I want to go back home, too... but...

Not if it means to kill someone.  
I... can't.  
This is beyond any reasoning like "it's wrong to kill" or "you will go to hell or jail if you kill".

I simply wasn't like that. I couldn't kill.  
It was as impossible for me to willingly inflict needless pain on someone else, as it was for a turtle to fly.  
Yeah, it may soar for a while, if someone throws it with force, but a turtle will never, on its own, take off and fly.

It was simply unfathomable.  
In the same way, I might hurt others unknowingly or to protect someone else... but never needlessly.

Tofu... he had to know I would never kill. And he still asked that of me?  
It has to mean Tofu really is desperate. I... feel really bad, then. But I still cannot do it.

Tofu...

So many strange things have happened... I'm still having trouble processing.  
Tofu... was the artifact Zachary had been looking for... Tofu had given me the powers of the Game... Tofu...

Tofu had taken me out of hell.  
I... really owe Tofu a lot, don't I?

A shiver crawled up my back.  
Someone is behind me.

Slowly turning my head, I found Undertaker, full creepiness power unleashed, smiling like a creep.

"Uh... Hey..."

"Hello~"

Umm... did he lose something? What is he...?

Undertaker was shoving himself into my personal space, smiling like the total creep he was, laughing like a witch.

Urgh...

"I thought I had seen a very sad assistant, isn't that right~? So I thought I might cheer her up a little bit~" ... by creeping me out?

"Uh... Wah! I feel better already, you don't have to do anything! I'm already happily happy, see? Pleasedon'tdoanythingstrange!" I ended up blurting the last words out, when I saw he was completely unconvinced.  
I don't think I really helped my case, though.

I think now is the perfect time for a strategic retreat.  
Using the small size of my Chibi form to my advantage, I transformed into a cat-sized version of myself, slipping out of Undertaker's hold and running up the stairs.

I was picked up into the air by a very creepy reaper that just so happened to be my boss.

Uh... help.

I was assaulted by said boss, Undertaker grabbing my cheeks, muttering gibberish to himself in that infuriating baby voice.

"Yowuh awe a fwohible bozz, takheh!"

"What are you talking about, I'm the best boss you ever had."

"Yowuh awe thwe ownly bozz I eveh hawd."

"Exactly~"

"Abhuze!"

"There's no witnesses~"

Help.

* * *

I suddenly got up.  
Or... at least I would have, if I hadn't realized where I was.

I was inside my coffin, more precisely in Undertaker's arms.

I looked at the reaper by my side, then at my surroundings, confused.  
I had been nestled in Undertaker's arms, safe and sound, we were at the front of the shop, insidea coffin, nothing was really amiss.

I had been suffering from the awake equivalent of a nightmare. But I hadn't been sleeping, just thinking. But my thoughts ended up straying into dangerous territory, and I had forgotten where I was, for a second.

"Little Lia~?"

"I'm... fine."

Resetting back into Undertaker's arms, I simply enjoyed the moment. It wasn't good to get so caught up in my own thoughts.  
Speaking of thoughts... there was a certain question I couldn't stop wondering...

"Why does Tofu call you a pedophile?"  
I had been... a little more curious than I should. And... well, there had to be a reason why Tofu was calling him something like that.

Tofu didn't really like to speak with Undertaker, but every time he did, Tofu always made sure to be as insulting as possible, by calling him pervert, pedophile and mummy, among other, but not much nicer, things.

It doesn't even make sense for Tofu to call Undertaker a pedophile...  
I mean... the only kid Undertaker spoke to was Biscuit, and even the demon-dog wasn't granted any special treatment...

"It's nothing important, dear~" his smile had immediately soured at the edges, the moment Tofu was mentioned. They really didn't get along, did they?

It was strange. They barely stood each other's presence.  
"Please tell me?" I was really, really curious.

The reaper I was sharing a coffin with sighed, eyeing me sideways.  
"Let's just say I have an... interest in someone that is much younger than me."

Oh...

So he IS a pedophile...

I inched away.

Undertaker saw me and immediately retorted.  
"I'm a reaper! Everyone is centuries younger than me!" Oops. I think I just offended him... and he _is_ technically right.

"So... not a child?"

"She sometimes acts like one, though~" It feels like he's trying to tease me, but I honestly cannot understand how.

So... uh...

Undertaker likes someone...  
That feels... ouch.

It's really none of my business, really. But... I really want to know how she is...  
It does seem highly unlikely for Undertaker to like someone, right out of the blue... maybe she's a psycho, and he feels ashamed of mentioning her? Well, he shouldn't worry, he's already crazy, so they would go nice toghther... ouch.

"Do I know her?"

"Oh yes~"  
Oh. Well, that's surprising. That greatly reduces the possibilities.

So... someone I know... Uh...  
The only woman that comes to mind, which I know Undertaker knows for sure, is... eh... Huh.  
But she's almost a granny... Tofu wouldn't call Undertaker that, if she was a granny, right? Well, he might, actually. Just to annoy him.

"Is it Mrs. Durland?"

"Very cold"

... "It's not that neighbor that lost her bloomers, is she?"

Undertaker sent me a look. "Frozen"

Uh...

Oh! I know!  
Of course, I was so blind! I know the identity of that mysterious girl!

But... "but she's a blabbermouth! How... I mean..." it's not right to point out that woman's faults right at Undertaker's face, is it? I mean... it's Undertaker's life...  
I still couldn't help but sourly whisper. "You don't even like blabbermouths..."

It's not fair...

"Who do you even think it is, this person I like?"

"It's the flower shop owner, isn't she? You always buy flowers there."

"You died from hypothermia."

"She isn't? But... I don't know any more women... are you sure I know her?"

"Very sure."

"I think you're lying."

"I'm not~"

"How is she then? Give me hints. For all I know, you could have made that woman up."

"She's _very_ dense."

"As in... heavy?" I used my arms to signal someone... very big.

" _Immensely_ dense."

Undertaker likes fat girls? I guess it's one of the aesthetics of this time... it makes sense, in a way. If you have more fat, it means you're well fed. If you are well fed, it means you have money, which is always a bonus I guess...

So...

I looked at myself.  
I eat well, it's not my fault I cannot gain weight to save myself.

I need to eat more cookies.

I admit I might be... a little jealous. Just a little.  
Alright, maybe a lot.  
Okay, I was so jealous that I could start biting my own nails from anxeity. What the hell!?

I was the one who lived with the stupid, dork of a reaper, the one who knew him best, how come someone I cannot ever remember steals his heart...

I sighed.

I guess, it's... for the best.  
I mean... in the off chance that Tofu finally decides to return us home...

Still... it hurts. More than a little.

Hiding my face in Undertaker's neck, I couldn't help but wonder how she was like.  
Was she better than me? Obviously, Undertaker had chosen her, after all. But... they did say love is blind. Would she take care of him, as I did? Would she brush his hair and make sure he doesn't burn the kitchen? Would she eat his cookies and say how delicious they were? Would she help him and love him and hug him like I did?

I wasn't crying.  
Alright, maybe I was.

Because, I really... I really...

He's the person I care most about. He's...

I...

I really love him.

"Bwaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Wh-Dalia? Are you crying? Why are you crying?!"

"Because Undertaker is an assholish jerk that deserves to go bald and eat fried fish for eternity!"

"What?"

"Bwaaaaa!" I got up from the coffin and away from the bewildered reaper.

"Where are you going?" Poor Undertaker didn't seem to understand what had happened.

"I'm going to make fried fish!"

"You don't _like_ fried fish..."

"And you don't like blabbermouths!"  
That was very childish of me, but he deserved to eat fried fish for being such an ass.

Wasn't it inappropriate, to share a bed with someone, when you liked someone else? I mean...  
Our bed-sharing was completely innocent, but...

I don't know!  
I just want to throw fried fish at Undertaker's face. And maybe bang mine against a wall.

It hurts... did that woman make him happy? He had never mentioned her... surely he would have mentioned there was someone like that to me, right?  
Undertaker was very secretive, but... he would have said something, wouldn't he?  
He did share small bits of things he considered important, like his dolls...

Oh my. What if that "mysterious woman" was actually dead?

Of course! It all makes so much sense!

I may know her, because I may have treated her body or something similar, but I didn't really remember her because she was a bizarre doll, and Undertaker knew I didn't like them, so he wouldn't talk about her.  
I knew I shouldn't have trusted those Zombie-rip-offs. I _knew_ there was something off about them. more than the obvious, they-are-dead kind of wrong.

I grumbled between sniffs, preparing to make fried fish.

Uh... we're out of fish.

I turned around, seeing Undertaker hiding behind the doorframe, peeking his head out.

I pouted.  
"I'm gonna buy fish. You can go cuddle your girlfriend."

"Are you jealous, little Lia~?"

"Your face is jealous. And if it's not, by the end of the week, it will be. It will be jealous of fried fish! Because you will have become a fried fish with a fish face!"

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Your face doesn't make sense!"

I ran.

I walked down the street, trying to keep the tears from falling. People would look at me strangely, if I satrted crying out of nowhere.  
While I bought fish, I had a chance to calm down.

It wasn't Undertaker's fault, if he liked someone else. I couldn't really blame him.  
I... really think I should support him...  
After all, if he had told me this, he probably was expecting me to support him and even help him conquer that girl's heart... ouch.

Alright, that's what I will do.

I hurts, but... it would hurt more to see him unhappy than with someone else.  
When I get back, I will definitely help him get together with Miss. Mysterious. And then I might even learn her identity...

And if I just so happened to drop the subject of consequences of breaking my boss's heart while talking to her... no one could blame me.

I would make sure of it.

* * *

Undertaker was served fried fish, that day.  
And the next.  
And the week after.

He wasn't sure if Dalia had wanted to make him absolutely repulsed of fried fish, but if that was her intention...  
It was failing miserably.

While eating every day some form or another of fish would end up sickening even the toughest of stomachs, Dalia's food was... absolutely delicious.  
She made different types of fish, with different spices and condiments, greatly lessening the monotony of eating fried fish every day.

Her cooking had definitely evolved by leaps and bounds, and it was now quite fancy, and even more delicious.  
Besides, he was used to eating worse things, her cooking was like a godsend. He wasn't picky, at all.

Dalia...

He wasn't sure if she was naturally this dense, or if her special brand of obliviousness only acted when love was involved. Or him.  
Or when he and love were involved in the same sentence.

He sighed fondly.  
So precious.

Right now, Dalia was outside in the backyard, playing with Biscuit.

It had been a day like this one.  
He remembered clearly.  
She had been throwing a very expensive trinket like it was junk, using it like a ball, just like she was doing now.

And as he had went over to her, a gust of wind had blown, making her hair and clothes flutter to the side.  
He had felt himself stop, and... stared.

Her furisode had been lacking the obi, making it fly around her like she was a goddess of wind, like she would fly away the second he looked away. The leaves from that fall evening softly floating down, like time itself had decided to stop to let him admire that precious second in which he realized he was a bit _too_ fond of his assistant.  
He still remembered her happy smile, burnt with fire inside his mind, her eyes had closed because of the wind, but he knew they would sparkle like the deep ocean he knew she was so scared about.  
Her hair had been all ruffled and messy, a detail she surprisingly never complained about. She only cared about _his_ hair, apparently.  
And he realized that he wanted to keep it that way.

Then he realized that... he would lose her, she would slip right between his fingers, it was only a matter of time. It was inevitable.

She had been smiling wide.  
Laughing so carefree... his heart had been stolen away by that laugh.  
And he still was uncertain, if he wanted it back.

Softly snickering, Undertaker kept looking at the human girl, playing fetch with a demon hound.

She was braver than she gave herself credit for.  
She was only human, surrounded by demons and monsters. And while she might try to flee from any sort of conflict... When someone she cared about was in trouble, she recklessly threw herself into danger.

What a troublesome little assistant.

He snickered again, when he saw the previously mentioned assistant sneeze, looking around.  
Then she looked straight at him.

He felt his smile widen.  
Hiding the small blush with a nonchalant wave, he felt his heart give a leap, when she waved back.

Of course, that was before she remembered she was mad at him, and she pouted, looking away.  
He saw her completely red face from where he was.

She looked away, pouting in an offended manner.  
She was so cute, he wished she would look at him.

Life is too short, to spend it angry at the ones you love, little Lia~  
She would forgive him, he only needed a little time. He had a lot of that, anyways.

He still wished he knew exactly what he had done wrong, though.

He went to close the shop. It was getting late, anyways.  
And tomorrow he did have a funeral to attend.

Maybe he could leave his little assistant in charge~

He snickered. That would be hilarious.

His little Lia was so adorable, when she was jealous... she had the cutest pout he had seen from her yet, and her cheeks gained a rosy tint.  
Her short bangs framing her eyes, that refused to look at him, coupled with her crossed arms, made her look like a petulant child, but he wouldn't change it for the world.

Running upstairs, he fished the brush from the bathroom before Dalia could even remember where she left it. He thought where he would hide it today.  
It had been a while since he had hidden it in his sleeves, but she had gained the habit of removing his uniform first of all...  
He couldn't hide it anywhere too outrageous, she was still angry with him, after all...

He smiled wide. Perfect.  
Prancing towards the only alive human in the household, he hanged around, patiently waiting for her.

She entered inside, looking around absentmindedly.

When her blue eyes fell on him, she immediately deadpanned.  
He wasn't doing a very good job of hiding his intentions, but that was the whole point of this dance~.

She approached him, lips pursed and a half-hearted frown.  
She extended a hand.  
He showed his empty ones.

As expected, the first thing she did was remove his mute uniform, he snickered, enjoying every second of it.  
He looked at Dalia with half lidded eyes, while she softly moved his lab coat around, looking for the disappeared brush.

He simply enjoyed the moment, as her hands roamed around, letting her search to her heart's content. He was particularly enjoying the bright red blush on her cheeks, coupled with the concentrated frown.

She was adorable, when she was this focused, she probably wasn't even aware of how red her cheeks were.  
Drinking up her expression, he sighed sadly, when she blinked at his hair.  
She was always very perceptive of the state of his hair, he should have known better than to hide the brush in the tangled locks, but it was a place she almost never thought to look.

It was a wager, and he had lost. Maybe next time there would be more luck.

Untangling the brush from his locks, she turned him around, making him sit.  
While it was a shame the search hadn't lasted more, he enjoyed the brushing itself even more than the search that always preceded it. It was like a very sweet appetizer right before a hearty meal. The appetizer was good, but it's only purpose was to compliment the actual food.

He felt her hands weave through his locks, aided by the brush, enjoying her touch.

She always brushed his hair so delicately, like she was afraid to hurt him... She alway took such care of his hair, that it made him feel relaxed under her touch, gentle hands untangling locks of hair with utmost care. She was really too good for him.

He couldn't help but pout, when the hands disappeared. To him, it felt like it all had ended way too quickly, but he knew better than to complain.

Dalia called for her next victim in a singsong voice that always accompanied the cookie-dog's name "Biscuit"  
The mutt came into the room, completely elated by his little Lia's mere existence.  
He sighed, going into the kitchen. His time alone with her was over.

Rummaging through the cupboard where he normally had his brandy stored, he was faced with an empty cabinet.  
Well... that might pose a problem.

Although, for tomorrow's job as a mute he would probably get paid in alcohol, as always, so maybe it wouldn't be that terrible... he would just have to go through the funeral sober.

He was a glutton for punishment, wasn't he?  
He snorted, looking at the busy human through the doorway.  
He definitely was.

Well, his little Lia didn't like him drinking anyways... and it wouldn't be the best idea when he was about to go to sleep.  
Combing a hand through his completely tamed hair, he pulled his hair back away from his eyes, suspiciously looking around.

He wouldn't actually put it past his little assistant, to have thrown away all his alcohol...  
It didn't matter, though. He just had to find where he had hidden his secret stash.

No way was he going sober to a funeral.

* * *

"No more..."  
He snickered, listening attentively.

"I can't eat anymore..."  
He had to control his laughter to the best of his ability, or he would wake up his little assistant.

If she woke up, the fun was over.

She was adorable, when she slept.  
"I want more cookies..."

He cooed.

Dalia, still asleep turned her head and burrowed her nose against his neck.  
"Cookies..."

He absolutely loved every morning they awoke together and every night they went to sleep in each other's arms.  
"I... love... you..."

He almost chocked on his spit.

Immediately sobering up, he looked at her longingly.  
He wanted to hear those words directed at him more than anything.

These feelings he had for her... he had accepted them a long time ago. But... should he act upon them?  
Would she accept those feelings?  
Should he…?

He wasn't an idiot, he knew that her little assistant felt very strongly towards him, but she had this quirk...

She felt herself terribly undeserving. She simply couldn't fathom that someone could be interested in her, that someone could look at her and see a wonderful, adorable, caring, cute, funny and brave girl.

God, did he love her.

Even if the facts slapped her in the face, she simply couldn't understand that her own feelings might not be as unrequited as she thought.

He really was a sucker for punishment.  
Even after all those years, after all that pain, he couldn't help but keep falling into this bad habit…

She was still determined to go back home. She felt there was something she had to do, there and... He wouldn't be in her way.

He had been selfish all of his life. He had been selfish for most of his afterlife, too.

He had lived and died for selfish reasons, and he had retired for even more selfish reasons…  
Heh, even when he created his Bizarre Dolls he was being selfish.  
And he hadn't minded.

And then he met her. And she was so… kind. She always worried about him first, before herself. She always made sure he was happy, even if she herself wasn't feeling much better.

Just this once, he wanted to be selfless, too.

If he actually did leave very clear his feelings for her... she would suffer regardless of what she chose.

If she left, she would hurt for leaving him, if she stayed, she would suffer for not accomplishing what she thought she had to do back in her time.  
How bittersweet are the roads that life threads though…

He would rather suffer on his own, just this once, and leave her wondering about what ifs. She would hurt, there was no changing that, but... she might hurt a little less, she would move on.

Maybe this was a selfish decision, too. Maybe he was a bit scared. Scared of being happy.  
Scared of losing what little happiness he had managed to put together.

In any case, he would selflessly let her choose her own destiny and, in the meantime, he would selfishly enjoy her presence and company. For as long as it lasted.

"I'm gonna... marry the princess of cookies..." He snorted.

Brushing a lock of her hair aside, he smiled at her.  
"...cookies forever..."

He would enjoy every second they had together.  
He could definitely do that.


	23. Chapter 22

**Hey! This is a sort of special chapter I didn't have planned until I scrambled to write it at the last moment, as I wanted to have a little bit more of Vilvent, before we finally say goodbye to him. So I hope you enjoy it!**

 **jj510: you just described the situation with a 100% of accuracyl. Congrats. Here, have this next chapter as reward.**

 **guadadominguez4: I feel you so strongly! I was panicking because fanfiction didn't let me do anything and I couldn't go to sleep until I was sure the chapter was uploaded.  
You guessed right! And Tofu is the mother of all tsundere, but he's actually a sweet pie when he thinks no one is looking. There's not much of him in this chapter as I couldn't include much of him, but there will be more of him from now on!  
I think by this pointI am way too invested in these two, and surprisingly, so is Vincent! I feel like he's just fangirling in the shadows about their relationship, and I hope it could be seen a little bit in this chapter.  
Taker and Lia are both so frustratingly adorable! Sometimes I feel like I should bash their heads until they stop being a pair of idiots, but then they wouldn't be as adorable as they are, wouldn't they? ;D  
Well, hopefully, your head won't have to suffer for much longer~ **

**BookKeeper88: Yes. My poor heart cannot keep up with that amount of cuteness.**

 **Esper Mammon: It just gives me the creeps to think of what other people in story may see the two of them as. Undertaker is a creep, Dalia is a dense idiot, they shouldn't really be as compatible as they are, right? Wrong. And somehow with that thought, the table scene of this chapter came to mind and I had to write it.**

 **LittleSkyCompass: She does, I thought so too! Poor Dalia has to deal with so much! Thanks, I wasn't sure if it would be good enough!  
Tofu is a cinamon roll that wants to keep Dalia all to himself. Sadly Taker has other plans. He's completely head over heels! About your questions, I'm afraid they will be answered next chapter~! I feel evil. **

**Howard: Thanks! I'm happy that people like it, even if it's not professionally done!**

 **Kyouki no Kitsune: Wao! I feel you so much! Next chapter that will be known!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

I opened a door.

"Ah~ little Lia, you have a perfect timing~ I-" The mortician had been expecting me, hiding behind the door, waiting to pounce on me.

I closed the door.

I had seen the mortician's face. The only reason why he would look that happy that I just arrived was if he had a task for me to do.  
And more often than not, those tasks involved getting me in trouble.

An unamused face opened the door I just closed, chartreuse eyes boring into mine. I looked away.  
"I had to try" I tried to defend myself. By his stare, Undertaker wasn't very impressed,

"Well, unfortunately for you, this isn't going away; so you better pack up~"

"Again...?" I felt the complain start making its way up my throat. Sadly, the reaper wasn't having any of it.

"Don't look at me like that~... Vincent has a certain task to do, and we're tagging along~"

I pouted.  
"Can't I stay and take care of the shop?" I tried to bargain. The reaper stared at me from behind his bangs.

"You _could_..." He started. I definitely sense a but in there. "...but you will have a pretty bad time..." I blinked at his words.  
Undertaker was looking at me like I should know the reason why I would have a bad time, but I honestly have no idea.

I entered the bedroom, ducking under the reaper's arm against the doorway.  
"Why?" I asked, ignoring the reaper rolling his eyes as I sat on the bed.

"You will be sleeping alone for however long this takes, are you sure you will be able to?"

I stopped dead on my thoughts.

...

Fact one: I had nightmares whenever I didn't sleep in close proximity to Undertaker.  
Fact two: Undertaker would not be sleeping here for however long the reaper was away.  
Conclusion: I wouldn't be getting any sleep while the mortician was missing in action.

...

...

"When are we going?" I finally conceded, trying to act as if going with him had been my intention all along.

"That's the spirit~!" The reaper giggled, obviously not fooled. "Hi hi hi~. We will even get to see Vincent do his thing~" he said that as if I had the slightest interest in what Vilvent did or stopped doing. I couldn't care less.

I was actually more interested in something else. "Are we taking Biscuit with us?" I asked.

"Unfortunately" the reaper deadpanned as I sighed in relief.  
Good, good.

"So... any reasons why you have to leave in the first place?" I asked. You know, since I was forced to go... might as well know why we're going, right?

"Vincent cashed in a favor~ he needs me to take a good look at a recently decreased body in a faraway town~"

"Don't they have doctors?" I asked, confused.

"If they do, the earl doesn't trust them. That does say quite a bit of the situation we're getting into, doesn't it~?"

"Not really" I monotoned.

"Hi hi hi~ It will certainly be a lot of fun~" the reaper was ignoring me, again.

The mortician jumped on the bed, plopping down on it and spreading himself like a starfish, taking up all the space with his tall frame and his fat ass.  
I curled into a ball, making use of what little space he left unoccupied.

"What should we take? How long will we be gone?" I softly asked.

"Hopefully, no longer than a week~..." I could hear his creepy drawl answering me, lazily drawing out the words.  
I sighed ruefully. I really don't want to go...  
And I did have a good reason for that!

"Last time we left London it was a disaster." Despite my attempts, I didn't have any hope I would be able to change his mind.

"Oh, dear~... and whatever shall you do~? Never leave London again~?" Came the teasing response of my bedmate.

"It's a possibility." Maybe I would. It didn't sound that bad.

"Boring~" the mortician drawled, readjusting himself slightly so he was occupying even _more_ space.

"There's a lot to do, in London" I defended, not really that invested in the conversation. Rather, I was a bit more worried by my quickly decreasing amount of space left.

"Sometimes, a change of pace is appreciated~" He said, as he spread his arms even more, to the point there was no way he was actually comfortable in that position and was doing it only to annoy me.

"Yeah... well, I like this pace very much, thank you" I grumbled, pushing the reaper away to reclaim my little piece of bed.

"Then risk a few sleepless nights~" He suggested, trying to steal with his foot what little space I had regained.

"I will die" I shot. Finally giving up and merely sitting _on_ the reaper, using his as a pillow.

"Hardly~" As he finally settled comfortably, occupying a reasonable space now that it was all 'his'. I merely sighed, resting my head on his chest.

After dropping the subject, I raised my head again, this time to look around us, noticing the lack of my other white haired bedmate.  
"Where's Biscuit?" I asked, returning to my position.

"Playing outside, if I'm not mistaken~... they like to do that a lot, lately..." the reaper wasn't paying much attention either. He seemed like he would fall asleep at any moment.

"Maybe they made friends..." I suggested, looking at the reaper's sleepy face.

"That would be very good..." he mumbled.

"Yes" I agreed. "It would."

"It would be even better if they decided to stay with their new friends and stop bothering us" At this he smiled, opening his eyes lazily to look at my reaction.

"Taker!" I scolded, frowning at him. "Poor Biscuit! They're not a bother!" I defended. Offended on their behalf. "Your face is a bother!"

"Whatever did my face do?" He whined.

I looked at what I could see of his face.  
His pale face, pouting theatrically with fake offense, framed by his white and soft hair, hiding his eyes from view.  
"It's bothering me" I grumbled.

"Why~?" Undertaker smirked, teasingly.

He was way too attractive to be fair. I blushed bright red at the thought.  
"It's stupid" I shot at him.

"My face is stupid~?" The mortician questioned, smiling.

"Yes"

"Liaaaa~..." He whined theatrically, not really offended. He started moving his arms and legs without coordination, making the bed whine like it would break at any moment, but nothing more.

"Idiot" If he broke the bed, he was paying for it.

"So cruel~" he shot without any heat.

* * *

This was by far, the most uncomfortable carriage travel I have had to endure yet. And I have had to endure Undertaker's company in those travels, which should mean I have some experience in dealing with strange travel companions.  
Because it wasn't that the carriage wasn't comfortable by itself, in fact, it was quite luxurious. In comparison to previous experiences, the seats were very plush, it smelled relatively well and the horses were well behaved, there weren't many bumps on the road and the scenery outside was quite pleasant-looking.  
We were traveling through a dirt road that had been half forgotten, but was still in good enough condition to use. Out of the window, I could see trees I couldn't identify, with a single bush here or there.  
The reason why the ride was uncomfortable was because we were riding with Vilvent.

It wasn't that I didn't want to ride with him, but Undertaker and him obviously knew each other quite well, and talked about something or another. The reason why I was uncomfortable was... I felt a bit like a third wheel.

Undertaker was sitting next to Vilvent, giving him his attention while he mentioned this or that about the place we would be staying in, and didn't bother to try to include me in the conversation.  
Don't mistake me, I _didn't_ want to be included in the conversation, but I felt slightly awkward while Vilvent was around. He liked to smirk at us like he knew something I didn't, and it was overall frustrating and embarrassing. So I simply looked out of the window, thankful that Undertaker was sparing me the trouble of joining the current exchange, as I had no flipping idea of what was being discussed.

Biscuit was sleeping next to me, we were sitting in front of Vilvent and Taker, with me facing the mortician and Biscuit sitting in front of the earl.

How much longer until we arrive...? I will grow old before we get anywhere… it feels like I have been in this carriage for days!  
"Hi hi hi~ how interesting~... You will not be thinking of stirring too much trouble right~?" The mortician in front of me drawled, looking amusedly at the earl.

"Would I ever?" Vilvent made the brightest, most innocent smile I had ever seen. Topped with closed eyes and glittery background.  
Hey! I could also do that.

"It doesn't matter~" the mortician answered, giggling at the earl's actions. "Hi hi hi~ In my humble opinion, the more trouble there is, the more fun it will be. Just be sure not to do something you will regret later~ hi hi~"

"I will accept any consequences of my actions" Was the swift response of the earl.

"You never had another choice, boy~ hi hi hi~"

I yawned, beyond tired with the same old tree and the shriveled up bush that seemed to be repeating over and over, with the occasional bird flying by.  
The conversation was also going completely over my head. I don't think I can understand these two... or anyone else for that matter.  
"Are you tired Little Lia~?" The reaper turned to me after I yawned again.

"No..." I mumbled, eyes dropping in sheer boredom.

"Don't lie, Lia~" The mortician chided me, smirking.

"I'm not tired..." I mumbled. Here I would have probably added something about being tired of his face, which was a filthy lie, and he would have whined without any heat into it. Then I would smile and laugh and he would giggle, and then I would get a cookie. Hopefully.  
Instead, I gave up the _–fictional, mind you. We ran out of cookies after the first two hours-_ reward of delicious cookies and simply closed my eyes again, turning my head to the window again. No need to give more reasons for the earl to look at us like we were the ultimate comical duo. We weren't, thank you.

"Just bored..." I ended up mumbling, which wasn't a lie, technically. I _was_ bored out of my mind.

"Bored~?!" The reaper threw his head back like the very thought of me being bored was offensive, his hair following his sudden movement after a beat. "That's an unforgivable sin~!" He had widened what little I could make out of his eyes, and after a smooth movement in which he leaned forward again, he offered a hand in my direction with a wide smile. "If you would like my humble assistance in fixing that problem~...?" He offered.  
By the way he was talking, and the faces Vilvent was making behind the reaper, it was in my best interest to reject that offer.  
Sadly, as it usually happens with Undertaker, his offer wasn't one I was allowed to politely reject.

He proved this, when he threw himself into me without even waiting for my response, attempting to tickle me.  
I just stared at the mortician, unamused. Unfortunately for him, I wasn't ticklish.  
"What are you doing?" I asked confusedly, he _knew_ I wasn't ticklish. Surely he knew this was a completely useless endeavor?

Far from getting discouraged, this only made him made _him_ laugh. Somehow. It also made him more determined to make _me_ laugh, by any means possible.  
Those means included, but were not limited to, pulling my cheeks, to literally force a smile out of me.  
I stared at him in the most deadpan expression I could muster, while he was taking possession of my cheeks and pulling them upwards, forcing me to smile.  
"Hi hi hi~ that's one delightful face you're making, little Lia~ hi hi hi~ he he he~" He giggled, amused at my face.  
Of course, that just made him laugh more than he had been already.

And, no matter how much I tried, not even the thought of Vilvent literally in front of us, watching our interactions, could stop the real smile that pulled at my lips at the sight of his amusement.  
"Ah~!" The reaper gasped, delighted. "I did it~ you laughed~ hi hi hi hi~ you laughed~!" He cheered, giggling like a witch.

"That wasn't a laugh, you egg, it was a _smile_ " Unfortunately, the smile was widening at every word out of the reaper's mouth. He definitely knew how to improve my mood.

"You laughed~ you laughed~" as usual, he was completely ignoring anything he wasn't interested in hearing, laughing and teasing me. "He he he~ feeling good yet, dear~?" He questioned, not really letting me answer. "It _is_ true that laughter works wonders on the mind and body, isn't it~? Hi hi hi~ you cannot say you are bored anymore~" he started poking my cheek as he kept teasing me, which only made my face turn red.

What a dork.

I pouted, looking away from the smug reaper that had all but abandoned his seat next to Vilvent to sit directly on my lap, which wasn't a very comfortable position, as he wasn't exactly the lightest person around, in fact he was heavier than a sack of potatoes. The fat ass.

"I can feel your judging gaze, dear~" he lied shamelessly as I wasn't even looking at him "...whatever did I do now~?" He asked, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy.

"Mhmph!" I huffed, turning my head away from the man on my lap and to the window.

Unfortunately, the mortician wasn't willing to give up so soon, and started bothering me again, poking me with his nails, and trying to get in front of my face.  
"Lia~... little Lia~... Lia~! Little Lia~! My cute, sweet assistant Dalia~!" He whined, trying to get my attention.

"What do you want, old man?" I finally acknowledged the reaper's attempts to communicate.

"What is it~?" He asked, wanting to know the why of my sullen mood.

"You're fat. Get off" I spat, knowing the man wouldn't really take it badly.

"Gah!" He exclaimed falsely. "My poor heart~!" He laid one of his hands over his heart theatrically, throwing his head back like he was to some higher deity for strengh to withstand my insults. "That's so cruel~! I bet if I said something like that to you I would get a good whack on my head~" He lowered his head again to look at me accusingly, wide smile still unperturbed on his face.

"Probably" I conceded.

"Such double standards~!" He whined, moving his legs what little he could while still sitting o my lap.

"How lovely," Our only other human travel companion finally decided to butt into our conversation. "It would seem like we have arrived."  
I looked at Vilvent and immediately blushed, he was smiling while looking at us knowingly.

Great. I forgot he was there.

The carriage slowly came to a stop in front of a big house in the outskirts of a town I hadn't noticed we had been approaching.  
Vilvent got off and so did Undertaker, who helped me climb down. Not that I needed help, but it was still unexpectedly nice of him. Of course, it would have been even nicer if he didn't try to trip Biscuit afterwards when the kid attempted to launch themselves out of the carriage and straight at me.

A man with grayish hair and an impressive mustache came to greet us, speaking mainly to Vilvent, while Undertaker was - _rather rudely if I may say-_ pointedly staring at the man's mustache, making a sign with his hand that I should do the same. Nope, no way.  
His mustache was indeed impressive... but I still wasn't going to act like an idiot in front of people I don't know. There are limits, and I wasn't going to cross that particular one. I would settle with admiring the impressive mustache from afar, wondering how the hell could a mere human being sport such magnificent mustache.

The man, who I guessed was a butler, guided us inside, talking about this or that of the family that owned this place.  
Once inside, someone who was very well dressed greeted us to their 'humble home'.

...

I looked around.

The manor, while not bigger than Vilvent's, was still quite big, with obviously expensive decorations and pricey furniture. Overall, not something anyone would describe as very humble, which makes me doubt he actually knows the real meaning of that word.

Vilvent and the man talked about someone's recent death, which was probably what we were here to investigate.

They spoke amicably, about how it was a tragedy, but he had been very sick for a while. Or something like that.  
"It is indeed a tragedy" Vilvent agreed. "I would like to give my condolences to the family. From what illness was he afflicted from, if I may ask? I hope it has not spread to the rest of the household." Vilvent gently proded for information, which only made me more certain that this was indeed what we were here to investigate.

"Sadly, I'm afraid we haven't been able to discover what my brother was afflicted from, yet. Luckily, we have all been able to resist and the illness hasn't taken a hold on any of us, although our maid has reported feeling unwell and is being taken care of as of now." The new master of the house answered.

"Let's hope for the best, then." Was Vilvent's polite response.

"Yes." The auburn haired man agreed. "But this isn't a conversation that should be held at this time and place, do follow my butler, he will guide you to your rooms so you may rest after a surely taxing voyage. Your belongings will be brought shortly by our servants."

"We appreciate your kindness in this trying hour" Vilvent surely knows how to talk. I can only wish I had those skills.

As we followed the mustache-man up some stairs, Taker got behind me, breathing down my neck very creepily.  
I shivered, turning to glare at the mortician.  
"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"Nothing~" He creepily whispered back, giggling under his breath.

I glared at the giggling mortician, expectantly waiting for a response.  
"You've been quite down since we started traveling." He clarified. "What ails you, dear~?" He did sound slightly worried, and seeing as he was directly asking, must mean that I was acting a bit out of it.

"I'm fine" I attempted to deny.

"You're not~" he shot back.

"Yes I am"

"No you're not~"

"Yes I am"

"Dalia" came the reaper's warning. He wasn't going to accept anything less than a clear explanation.

"What do you want?" I attempted to derail him.

"..." he just waited, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm just tired..." I finally gave in. "I don't know. I'm fine"

"You're not fine, dear." The reaper retorted, but he immediately softened his tone, accepting my answer. "But that's okay. I will make you feel better~"

"How...?" I asked, slightly skeptically.

"Hi hi hi~"

"That's not reassuring" at this I was starting to get honestly worried.

"Hi hi~ isn't it interesting, dear~?" He directly changed the subject, leading my mind away from the topic of what he was planning. "Such a mysterious case~... I wonder what kind of surprises will we find~" at this I noticed a little detail I hadn't realized before.

"Since when are you calling me 'dear'?"

"Mhmm~?" The reaper hummed. "I'm doing that~?"

"Yes." I said. "You have been for a while."

"Well~... as long as it doesn't bother you I will continue to call you so~"

"What if it bothered me?" I questioned.

"I would keep calling you 'dear', dear~." He teased me, smirking all the way. "I would just do it more usually and with that annoying tone that always makes you grumpy~..." I blanched. Please, anything but that. I hate that teasing tone of voice, he always gets on my nerves every time he uses it. Which of course only makes him use it _more_.

"It doesn't bother me." I quickly assured, hoping the mortician wouldn't punish me by using that voice.

"Hi hi hi~ that's what I thought~" the reaper haughtily shot back. I couldn't keep back the sigh of relief, when I noticed the man wasn't going to tease me.

We got to a corridor, where the butler showed us our rooms and it was then that I realized...  
Vilvent had a room.  
Taker had a room.  
I had a room.

Those rooms weren't the same bedroom. I wasn't sharing a room with Taker.

After blinking at my panicked face, Undertaker finally smirked. He then leaned softly to whisper in my ear, not letting Vilvent or Mustache-man hear his words.  
"Don't worry little Lia~," he reassured me. "you're getting your full night rest. Even if I have to sneak in the middle of the night~"

I let out a sigh, relieved. It would be counterproductive if the main reason why I tagged along (sleeping in the same room as Undertaker) was denied because we didn't share a room. To do that I would have stayed at home.

Then I noticed... where did Biscuit sleep? I wanted to ask what was up with that.  
But I didn't, because just then, Taker dragged me inside one of the rooms to make me get some rest. Mainly so I would 'stop being so grumpy' and to hear his complains of 'the stupid clown' rubbing off on me. Tofu, by his part was giving me the silent treatement, grumpy like only he could be.

* * *

A door opened and Vilvent slipped inside, watching how Undertaker and I got in each other's face, glaring daggers.  
Well, _I_ was glaring, he was smiling wide while laughing like a witch.  
" _Your face_ is arbitrary, you stupid old man"

"See, that just proves my point" the reaper retorted, giggling at my pitiful attempts to insult him.

Vilvent took a step towards us, smiling as he asked what was going on. "I would pay to know what this conversation is about"

"Unless the payment is in prime laughter, I'm afraid I'm not interested~" The mortician was quick to shoot with a wave of his hand, uninterested in the man that just entered the room. Instead, he was more interested in keeping the stare down we were currrently in the middle of.

"We were talking about my insults" I clarified, still not moving my eyes from the reaper's.

"Lia~!" The reaper complained. "You don't know how to negotiate" He pouted, moving from side to side, still digging his eyes on mine.

"What?" I asked confusedly. What did negotiations have to do with anything?

"Insults?" Vilvent raised an eyebrow.

"Taker said that my use of 'old man' and 'your face' are arbitrary and cause confusion." I clarified, glaring at the mortician that was attempting to cheat by blowing at my eyes to make me blink.

"Little Lia~... you're telling him everything~!" The white haired man kept complaining, still trying to cheat.

"And I assume your answer was using both terms to insult him?" Vilvent asked, raising an eyebrow at the mortician's reaction.

"Yes" I confirmed, making my bedmate start whining and complaining. At least that made him stop cheating, it was quite hard not to close your eyes when someone is trying to sabotage you.

"Liaaaaaaaa~!" He whined, still throwing a tantrum.

"What do you want?" I asked, fed up with his nonsense.

"Stop sabotaging my business opportunities" he quickly clarified.

"What business opportunities? You were just being a stingy old man" And a cheater, let's not forget that.

"But he was willing~!" Undertaker noticed. "Business is all about covering a need of my customers~" He explained, leaning forward so our foreheads were touching, invading my personal space.

"But, you were the one to create the need in the first place..." I said, unconvinced with his methods, as I tried to keep some needed distance between our eyes.

"Irrelevant~!" He exclaimed blowing directly at my eyes, making me blink. He smiled wide, satisfied with his victory.

"Whatever..." I grumbled, looking away. Such a cheat.

"Delightful conversation, this one you're having, but I'm afraid that we are required somewhere else" Vilvent finally piped in.

Undertaker and I both finally turned to look at Vilvent, who was already leaving.

I then looked at Biscuit, who was drooling on top of a pile of sheets. Torn sheets. I would have a lot of trouble explaining that.  
Biscuit doesn't like being cooped up in a room all day. Although... it's been only a few hours since we got here.

Undertaker got up and out of the room, sending me a glance that I should do the same. Biscuit was looking at the door Taker had left through, getting up when the reaper didn't come back after exactly two seconds, with a piece of the torn sheets still in their mouth.  
I just sighed, following them.

When Vilvent and all of his entourage, consisting of Taker, Biscuit, me and Mustache-man, got to the dining hall, I realized one slight problem. Biscuit. More precisely, Biscuit's table manners.  
Oh, my. This is going to be _so_ embarrassing.

I was proven right when Biscuit started sniffing the table, looking for food, the second we sat.

We were served a wide variety of foods I could see a few meats the butler identified as duck and pork, a bowl of fish soup and a dish that sounded very French when the butler announced its name.

Taker must have noticed my distress, as he put a hand on my shoulder, calming me down, and took the seat next to Biscuit. I raised an eyebrow skeptically.  
Really? Well, I wasn't about to complain, if he was certain he could keep the dog in check, who was I to say otherwise?

Unfortunately, that left me between Vilvent and the other side of Biscuit, a bit farther away from Undertaker than I would like.  
I missed what did Taker do, the second Biscuit attempted to pounce on the recently served food, but it made Biscuit sit up again, looking baffled at the mortician.  
Biscuit then looked at me, attempting to gain my approval for reasons unknown to me.

The reaper made a gesture that I should look away, and I did so reluctantly, grabbing my fork to concentrate in eating the recently served food.

The dog looked at me, then at the reaper who was doing the same with his own fork, and lastly at the other occupants of the table.  
Biscuit clumsy grabbed a fork, trying to copy us.

Sadly, they used it on the soup.

I put my hand on my forehead, wishing the earth would swallow me whole. I _was_ feeling quite bad for Biscuit, who looked to be very confused and in distress, but my own embarrassment wasn't going anywhere either. It was also sort of adorable, but I was currently a bit busy wishing the earth would swallow me to really acknowledge the fact that Biscuit was adorable, when they tried to copy us.

Taker quickly exchanged Biscuit's fork in favor of the spoon. Thankfully, everyone was a bit busy talking (to Vilvent) to notice the slip up or the quick exchange. At least the earl was useful in taking the attention to himself and away from us.  
I couldn't fathom why, but Vilvent seemed to be quite charismatic, and absolutely everyone wanted his attention in one way or another, and the man seemed perfectly at ease, skillfully managing the multiple conversations he was having with all the table's attendants.

"It's a terrible tragedy, but as always, we cannot let that horribly unexpected death pull us away from enjoying ourselves, I'm sure my brother would not have rejoiced in seeing us sad for his passing." The man who's name I never caught said, in one of these conversations.

I blinked, confused. Huh, that was a trait I didn't think I would find in anyone of this time. I was under the impression that way of thinking was more of a modern thing.  
"That's a curious mindset, for someone who recently lost a loved one, wouldn't others accuse you of celebrating your brother's passing? Especially when he passed away in such a fashion..." Was Vilvent's smooth question, not really judging, but still prodding for information, not giving a hint as to his true opinion.

"I feel like the greatest honor I can give to my brother is seeing us celebrate together, reminiscing the good moments, rather than being miserable for his passing. Don't you think so, too?" The man nudged the man by his side, who was literally staring fascinated at Vilvent like he was a deity.  
The poor doctor, who hadn't expected to be addressed, only mumbled unintelligibly, lowering his gaze to his food, dazed.

The conversation shifted to Vilvent and his family, talking about his child and wife. Everyone was practically a step away from kneeling before the earl like he was made of gold or shitted diamonds.  
I also noticed Vilvent was being intentionally vague about the number of children he had, which is confusing. And very curious.

I decided that Vilvent didn't really need _more_ attention, and eyed the seat next to me, checking up on Biscuit's progress.  
I had to give it to him, Undertaker was surprisingly effective. Even if his methods were shady and purposefully obscure, the effectiveness couldn't be denied.

Biscuit was clumsily, but effectively eating, using the utensils given to them, rather than eating with their hands and mouth. It was kind of funny how the dog-child would look at the reaper after every bite to make sure they were doing it right. It was both adorable and worrying.  
At least that was an improvement.

"And you milady? May I ask as to your marital status?" The question pierced the air and particularly stood out to me, because I hadn't noticed any other female companions seated at the table.

I looked up, but still saw no lady. I blinked at the rest of the table, who were looking at me, waiting for something. That hadn't been directed at me...? Right?

The man whose name I still didn't catch, but was the victim's brother, was looking at me more expectantly than anyone else, and I had the feeling he had been the one to ask that question, as he and Vilvent were the ones doing the most talking. And Vilvent wouldn't really ask that, would he?

"Uh..." I mumbled uncertainly, looking from side to side, panicking. What the hell was I supposed to say?!

"My apologies for such a sudden question, I had been merely wondering, after such a tragedy that was my brother's lack of heirs, of the own status of my table companions, it wasn't my intention to make a lady such as yourself uncomfortable..." the man explained, and I saw Vilvent uncomfortably look at something next to me, just outside of my vision.

"I'm fine..." I uncertainly started, not knowing at all what was going to come out of my mouth. It would be embarrassing no matter what I did or said. "I'm-" I was suddenly saved by my boss and crush.

"She's not available~" He spoke, as creepily as always, but by the reactions of the rest of the people seated at the table, I guessed what was visible of his expression wasn't very reassuring.  
I turned my head slightly to eye the reaper. An aura that could curl milk, was currently coming off in waves from the white haired reaper.

I put my hand on my head, whishing I was back at the shop so I could hide inside a coffin forever.

...

Seriously, Taker?

It did feel very nice he had saved me from that embarrassing situation, but the way he said it made it look like… well, he made it look like we were together! Not that I was complaining, but it wasn't true! I mean… I…

My face got so hot I felt steam start to raise from my head, making me unable to keep that train of thought without fainting.

"O-... of course... I should have assumed... my apologies, I was out of place." Was the stutered response of the man, who had realized – _a little bit too late_ \- he had stepped into a situation that was better left undisturbed.

I still felt Undertaker's sour mood next to me, and realized that the nice chat everyone was having was probably over. Poor Biscuit had wrapped their arms around my torso leaning onto me and away from the scary man that ran a funeral parlor.

I should… probably say something to try to save this situation… Even if I'm not really sure on how was I going to salvage this.  
Well, if Undertaker is being a sour prick, I could - _hopefully_ \- use the charm skill to… I don't know, convince everyone the last two few minutes didn't happen? That they had all fallen asleep and shared a dream together in which the reaper got all creepy and moody? No, of course not…

Why would the reaper say we were together?! It only made things awkward! The only positive...  
Oh! I see! Undertaker probably said that we were together so that the others wouldn't think anything strange, if we shared a room! That was actually a very smart move, Taker.

So… I just had to keep the pretense… while somehow countering Undertaker's sudden creepy aura. I think I can do that, right? I mean… I have done it a few times, I just have to… I don't know, be nice?  
I proceeded to try smile as nicely as possible, in an attempt to make the glittery background appear, to counter the mortician's sudden mood.  
Surprisingly, it worked. I was actually expecting it to fail miserably.

Making the background appear had been way easier than I thought it would.

Now I only had to open my big mouth to fix things.

...

This is not going to work out.  
"It's fine" I calmly stated, the only reason I wasn't trembling like a leaf was probably that I was too busy trying to make the rainbows as colorful as possible, and the glitter as shiny as I could. "I wasn't offended. Everyone can make mistakes" I was aware that teddy bears, rainbows and flowers had suddenly started sprouting out like a fountain from behind me. Both Undertaker's creepy aura and mine clashed, sending sparks all over the place.

Poor Biscuit, who sat between the two of us was sweating bullets, right in the perfect middle of where the creepy aura and the nice, warm but unsettlingly colorful aura were fighting for dominance.

Biscuit wasn't the only one sweating.

Suddenly Undertaker blinked, actually realizing the meaning of my words, his foul, creepy aura all but gone. He looked at me, cheeks red, like I had suddenly sprouted another head.

...

I am perfectly aware that I just told everyone that Undertaker and I are together, which is a filthy lie... but it was honestly for the best. If they thought Undertaker and I were married, they wouldn't think much if Undertaker slept in the same bed as I. Besides, it was the reaper's idea, not mine.  
I better get cookies for the trouble later.

I wailed internally, still maintaining the nice background behind me. If only it was true... but it wasn't.  
Of course it wasn't, I was just daydreaming, I blushed. But at least the very thought made the flowers multiply by the dozens, making me finally completely defeat the reaper, who wasn't actually keeping his foul pressure anymore. As he wasn't fighting the rainbows and flowers anymore, the mortician lost completely to my aura, and even worse, became infected.

He started sprouting flowers and cookies, his visible face a content face with a silly smile, even if his ears were slightly red and he kind of looked like an idiot.

I sighed, smiling.

What a dork.

* * *

I was dreaming.

I didn't have any logical reason to think it was a dream, but the second the question that it may be was formulated, was when I simply _knew_.

This was a dream, without a shadow of a doubt.  
And, well... there was the obvious fact that Kaito was alive and well next to me to prove that.

We had been simply relaxing on top of a cliff, looking at the horizon without any purpose.

This is a dream.

I could see a desert beneath the cliff we were on, the sky was so blue that it hurt, and the whole place was colored in oranges, greens and blues.  
I got up, with an unexpected urgency, considering we had been calmly enjoying the view.

Even if this is a dream... I needed... But not here. I couldn't explain how or why, but I didn't want to talk here, it wasn't appropriate to the conversation I wanted to have.

I took Kaito's hand, running down the cliff with no destination in mind.  
I knew this was a dream, and it made no difference where we were. But the urgency had replaced my sudden stroke of logical thinking, and I forgot this was supposed to be a dream.  
Only the fact that I had to talk to Kaito had remained.  
It had become my goal, and I was going to accomplish it with a single minded determination.

My childhood friend let me drag him around without protest, the feeling of urgency only increasing as time passed by. I had to hurry... but why?  
The more time I took, running without reason or destination, the more the urgency increased.

I had to do _something_... but what?

Kaito didn't talk, fight my manhandling or protest in any way, letting me do whatever I wanted to him, running through what had been once a desert.  
The bright blue sky had been covered by stormy clouds. An unnatural blackness had started swallowing up the desert, slowly but surely approaching us.  
No matter how fast I tried to run, the darkness was always there, catching up to us.

Now I had a reason to flee. I didn't know what would happen if the darkness reached us, but something inside me told me it wouldn't be good.  
I kept running. Any thought that I was supposed to talk to Kaito was forgotten, the only goal in mind was running somewhere safe.

It was useless.  
As we were completely swallowed by that inky darkness, I held onto Kaito's hand, not wanting to let go.  
As the black surroundings set in, everything went still.

No wind was blowing.  
No birds were chirping.  
No sun slipped through the endless darkness around us.  
We stood there for a while, maybe waiting for a signal that wasn't coming.

I looked at Kaito. I could feel his eyes on me.  
He was tall, towering over me. His white hair flowed in waves down his back, his chestnut eyes covered by the rim of his blue hat.  
The always stern curve of his mouth was pulled downwards, but that was usual in his expression, what really told me he was angry were his eyes.

I felt like he was judging me with those sharp eyes, disapproval clear at my attempt to flee.  
I couldn't understand why he was angry at me, but I felt like it was my fault.

I didn't feel any words coming out of my mouth, but it felt like I had apologized.  
He closed his eyes, looking away. Like he didn't want to even look at me.  
He didn't say anything, but somehow, what he felt was clear as day to me.

He was disappointed in me.  
It hurt a lot.  
I felt myself go teary eyed. It felt terribly real.

Kaito let go of my hand, turning away and walking in the opposite direction, leaving me behind.  
I tried to reach out, but the darkness had parted to allow him out, leaving me trapped.  
The blackness wasn't interested in him, it only wanted me, and he had used that fact to escape, leaving me behind.

He hadn't looked back.  
I felt very lonely.

I felt myself cry silently. There was no one else here. I was going to be alone forever.  
Suddenly, I felt warm.

A comforting warmth wrapped around me like a pair of arms, slowly chasing away the loneliness and warming me up from the inside.  
The warmth spread from my forehead straight to my brain, slowly crawling downwards and to my heart.

I blinked, looking up to find myself in Kaito's arms. Had he come back? Was he still angry at me? No. This wasn't Kaito, it was Taker.  
"Are you alright, dear?" Was the mortician's worried question, wiping the tears from my face with his cold fingers.

I blinked, confused. I didn't ask anything, but Undertaker must have noticed my confusion, as he explained himself. "You were having a nightmare. My apologies, I couldn't come earlier despite knowing you were tired. Do you need anything?" He sounded genuinely sorry, one of his hands supporting me while the other rested on my cheek.

I blinked again.  
This wasn't a dream.

I was in a bed, Undertaker's arms wrapped tightly around me, comforting me as he slowly brought me back to reality. Biscuit was worriedly sitting next to me, whining from time to time.  
"What happened...?" I asked softly, wiping some tears away.

"You weren't allowed in, while I was doing the autopsy of the victim, so you went to bed. You must have been too tired and fell asleep." The reaper answered, equally softly.  
That... does sound believable. In fact, I do remember something like that happening.

"Sorry..." I mumbled.

"Why dear~?" Was the reaper's patient question. Why was I apologizing?

"I..." I started, unsure.

"You have had a rough day, little Lia." The mortician pulled me away from my thoughts. "Perhaps it would be best if you went back to sleep, I will stay by your side all night" He softly reassured, caressing my cheek.

"I'm... fine... I think..." I stuttered, not knowing how I was.  
That... had been a very strange dream...

"Can you... stay?" I uncertainly asked, despite the fact he had just said he would. I needed to make sure he wouldn't leave me behind.

"Of course, dear. I already said I will~" he patiently repeated.

"Thanks..." I sniffed. "And sorry..."

"Don't apologize, little Lia. Especially for something you have no fault for." He was speaking softly, patiently waiting for me to get myself together.  
I still felt like I should apologize. Like I had done something bad. But Undertaker is right, as always... I haven't really done anything. At least I think so...

Kaito had looked so disappointed in me... I don't want to see Undertaker with the same look. Never.  
"Do you want to talk about it~?" He calmly asked. He usually did, after I once told him that talking about it normally helped, but that I was a bit too shy to share my dreams without being asked.

I shook my head. "It was nothing..." I lied. I didn't want to talk about Kaito. He was dead, has been for a long time, and it had been even longer since he… left.  
Bringing him up wasn't going to help anyone.

There hadn't been any monster chasing me nor anything really scary. Just good old memories.  
I can't remember what had happened before Kaito and I were perched on a cliff, but, overall, the dream had been more or less relaxing.  
The only thing that had been scary was Kaito's reaction and abandonment. And maybe that eternal blackness.

"As you wish." From the way he said it, he knew it wasn't fine, but was willing to let it slide.

The reaper hugged me, settling beside me, but not before shoving Biscuit aside, who retaliated by throwing themselves on top of both of us.  
The demon hound dug their knees and nails on my stomach, thigh, and Taker's chest and arm, before they, too, settled in a more or less comfortable position.

...

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, I decided I wasn't going back to sleep for a while.  
"Did you discover anything, in the autopsy?" I asked.

"The victim was poisoned~" He simply stated, like it wasn't a big deal.

"..."

"Don't worry" he assured. "In the case it wasn't self-administrated, I doubt the killer will be stupid enough to poison us."

"...self administrated?" I blinked. Did the victim...?

"The victim had been using it as medicine, and doctor insists on the possibility the victim might have miscalculated the doses"

"Sounds suspicious" I deadpanned. Seriously? It sounds awfully suspicious that the one that was in charge of the victim's health had not only given him a poison but also not clearly stated how much he was supposed to take.

"Very much~" the reaper agreed.

"What does Vilvent think?" I questioned, curious. He was the one that was talking directly to the suspects, he must have an idea.

"The earl has his suspicions about the brother, who doesn't stop accusing the wife of poisoning his brother" The reaper smirked, turning his head a bit so he could get biscuit's tail from out of his face.

"The wife?" I asked. I don't remember any other female…

"She has been coped up in her room since her husband's death. We haven't had a chance to meet her, yet. Although I am very curious about the maid that also got sick~" he carefully stated, giggling at the possibilities.

"This is a mess" I sighed.

"Indeed~ hi hi hi~" The reaper apparently found this situation hilarious.

"Isn't the police going to take care of it?" I wondered. I mean… weren't they _supposed_ to?

"Probably, if the brother finally decides to make a formal accusation. Or maybe the wife. They will probably end up blaming the maid." He carelessly said, not that interested in what the police did.

"Why?" I wondered, blinking at the reaper. Why would they blame the maid?

"The victim's brother is dead set that poisoning is an unintelligent woman's act, and that it immediately exempts him of any blame. Despite a few cases in which highly bred gentlemen have been found guilty of this crime. The wife has been coped up in her room, which may bee seen as either a mourning faithful wife, or a criminal trying to cover her tracks. The maid got sick inexplicably, if it turns out to be from poison, they will incriminate her, saying that she accidentally ate some of her own poison."

"That's stupid" I stated, blankly looking at the man next to me.

"Indeed~"

"So you think the maid did it?" I wondered.

"Maybe~" He said, probably not caring who did it, just that he got to discover who it was. I yawned, Undertaker slipping his arm under my head to act as a cushion "Maybe not~ we will know in time. In my humble opinion, it takes a very desperate state of mind, to end a life. Or a very certain disposition~" He giggled, kissing my forehead.

I yawned again.

Despite the recent dream, Undertaker's presence was like a balm, calming me down and making me sleepy. I pressed my face against the reaper, ready to fall asleep.  
"Good night Taker..." I mumbled, already feeling the warm clutches of dreamland taking a hold of me.

"Have a restful sleep, my dearest" Was the last thing I heard.

* * *

"I'm telling you, this is scandalous!" The man shouted, completely out of his mind.

My eyes were wide, looking from side to side to the utter clusterfuck of _bullshit_ coming down in the middle of the day.  
"No self-respecting man would be found in a proper lady's bedroom! I refuse to believe it!" The man was pacing back and forth, completely

"I'm afraid that the facts are as they are, your belief of them don't make them less true~" Undertaker wasn't really helping, if anything it just made the man more frustrated.

The man who had greeted us, the victim's brother was completely flipping his shit, his eyes were wide as possible, face red and mouth open in a silent scream.  
"No! I'm not believing it! My brother would never!" He exclaimed, glaring at the reaper like he had been the one to be discovered having an affair.

Vilvent attempted to calm down the man. Without much success.  
"I'm afraid there were multiple witnesses that have no reason to lie..." he started.

"Annabelle lies" Vilvent was interrupted before he could work his magic, the magic that had allowed him to discover that dirty little secret the victim was hiding. "My brother's wife is an untrustworthy witch! She was the one that poisoned him!" The man assured, shouting for everyone to hear.

"The maid has also admitted to her affair with the late victim~" Undertaker butted in, smirking at the man's reaction like he was enjoying a play.

"She lies too! Everyone lies!" he shouted refusing to listen to anyone.

"Sir, I'm afraid you'll have to calm down." Vilvent tried to appease the man, but he wasn't calming down, and seemed ready to throw himself at either the wife or the maid, and start strangling them.

"I'm NOT CALMING DOWN! You filthy wench, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! I will murder you! I will make your life so miserable that you'll wish you were never born!"

The wife of the victim was sobbing by a corner, impervious to any of the man's threats that seemed to be made more to the sky than any particular being.  
"Bring me that filthy wench that bedded my brother! If I find her I'll ruin her! She's fired! FIRED, YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE FIRED!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, trying to reach the maid that wasn't even in the room.

"Calm down, sir, we still don't know who poisoned your brother-" poor vilvent wasn't that used to being interrupted so many times, if the slight twitch of his eyebrow was any indication.

"It was her! She found out about his infidelity and killed him! What else is there to look for? It's clear as day!"

"Please, let us do our job, and we will find the culprit for sure" Vilvent tried to appease the angry man, still smiling, despite the fact his patience was quickly evaporating.

Undertaker hadn't been able to keep down his giggles, so I casually put distance between the glaring man and the giggling mortician. Just in case things turned sour.  
"Taker you'll get us in trouble..." I whispered to the mortician on the floor, cackling madly.

"How delightful~! I didn't think this would be so funny~! Hi hi hi hi~"

I sighed. "Seriously…" I mumbled.

As everyone seemed busy with the man's theatrical display, I decided to go see the doctor and maid, leaving the wife and the brother of the victim in the capable hands of the earl. And Undertaker, him too. Well, 'capable' wouldn't be aterm I would use in Undertaker's case, but...

The white haired reaper seemed to notice the sudden lack of Dalias in the vicinity, and looked around until he found me, about to leave. He tilted his head, but let me slip away without trouble.  
I had no delusions that he might not be following me.

I might have gotten a bit lost, but I made it, I found the doctor and the maid. Or, well, they found me.  
"Miss Dahlia!" I heard the doctor's voice from the room I just passed. "It is a pleasure seeing you. If you could grace us with your company…"

"Dalia is fine" I blushed. "And of course!" I sat next to the maid, who was nervously playing with a drape on her hands, pulling at the edges and avoiding everyone's gaze.

I nervously sat there looking at them both.

The doctor was a calm man with dark hair, acted quite insecure despite his position and liked to arrange the bottles of medicine symmetrically, which was actually quite cool and made the bottles quite pleasant to look at.

The maid seemed to want to have nothing to do with anyone else, and avoided looking at the others occupants of the room, which were me, the doctor and the mustache-butler.

The room was in complete silence until the maid finally decided to speak.

"So… I guess I'm fired, huh?" She self-deprecatingly stated.

I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. Fortunately, the doctor decided to give his input.

"What were you thinking, Marianne? I thought…?" The doctor seemed unable to finish his sentence, leaving it up in the air. Luckily, the maid seemed to catch what the doctor wanted to say.

"Look, when the master comes onto you, you don't really get much of a choice, okay?" She spat, defensively looking away. "I needed to keep this job, and now…" She mumbled. "Why did this happen?" The maid put her hands on her face, about to break down crying.

I uncertainly tried to hug her. I was actually trembling, and expecting her to refuse the hug rudely, but she surprised me by almost tackling me, hugging me back.  
"I don't know what to do…" She sobbed, thankfully using the drape she had been toying with to wipe her face, rather than my clothes.

"To be honest… Neither do I." The doctor mumbled, turning to rearrange the bottles, making sure they were absolutely symmetrical.  
I just stood there, with the maid in my arms without knowing how to comfort her, until Undertaker and Vilvent made their way inside.

The reaper made me a gesture to come with him, leaving it up to Vilvent and his unfair charisma to discover more of what happened.  
I walked with Undertaker, thinking about what could have happened, if I hadn't found him.  
"It's not fair…" I whispered, unsure if the reaper would hear me, but still wanting to say it.

The mortician turned to look at me with a serious expression. "The world is never fair, little Lia"

"But…" My words died in my mouth, I was unable to say more. It was so unfair.

"I'll be by your side, little Lia…" he said solemnly, wrapping an arm over my shoulder.

"But… no one will be by that maid's side." I refuted.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Only god knows what the future has in store." He tried to cheer me up.  
I sighed, not convinced with that answer.

I blinked, suddenly realizing something. Wouldn't Tofu know who the murdered is? I mean… he knows a lot of things… If only he wasn't angry at me...  
Thinking about it… couldn't Undertaker also very easily discover the killer by looking into the victim's… life-memory-thingies?

I glared at the reaper, who just tilted his head to the side, not knowing the why of my sudden animosity.  
What an absolute ass. He could technically know who, how and why did the victim die, and still decided to act coy just to see Vilvent scrambling around, guessing who it was.

That was true evil.

Well, if Taker is not that interested in helping, then _I_ would help.

"When was the victim poisoned?" I asked to the reaper, as I hadn't caught that bit of information the first time it was told.

"It was near nighttime, everyone had went to sleep. I'm afraid that anyone could have slipped into his study and poisoned him as he was working." The reaper said.

"Uh… and it couldn't be the cook, right?" I asked next. In my book, poison almost always was equal to food.

"Lia… it was chloroform. That cannot…" He then blinked, looking at my expression. "...you haven't been paying attention to the case until now, right~?" He suddenly accused, smirking at me.

"Of course I paid attention… I know I'm not a suspect…" And that's basically it. "And that the victim died from poisoning…" I tried, knowing that by Undertaker's unimpressed face I had forgotten vital information again.

"Really, little Lia~, one may wonder what has made you suddenly so interested in this case~?" Undertaker playfully wondered.

I pouted, looking away. I _was_ interested. I just… didn't think I should bother with the details.  
Until now.

"None of your business old man. Go bald." I grumbled, looking away. Stupid Taker.

"Hi hi hi~" he giggled, but did repeat what was important for me to know "Well, despite that we found chloroform in the victim's stomach, it didn't seem like the throat had any damage to it, which would be impossible unless the victim drank it all in one go without resisting." The mortician said.

That's… strange. Did the victim drink it willingly?  
"Taker…" I whispered, despite the fact that we were alone on the corridor and no one could hear us.

"No, little Lia. The answer is a bit more obvious than that." Was his enigmatic answer.

* * *

So… we were done. Basically. I mean… we got the bad guy, at least. So… we're technically done, we can leave.

I still felt… bad. The maid lost her job. The wife had a rough time ahead of her, but would pull through. The doctor would keep working for the wife of the victim, now that she was inheriting the manor and everything else.

And the brother of the victim was getting what he deserved.

I'm not sure how Vilvent did it, but he even managed to pull a confession, with the brother admitting he tricked his brother into drinking the poison with a simple dare to get the inheritance.

It was so easy, - I mean, a simple dare?! Was the victim mentally challenged?  
I felt quite cheated. It was almost insulting how easy he could kill his own brother and how hard it was for us to discover it was him. And I hadn't been that useful ,either. Vilvent had done most of the investigating. At least this proved that if I ever wanted to try my chances in the investigation departement, I should... not.  
Just... not.

I wanted to slap that greedy asshole that fucked so many people just to get a bit of money and land. Instead I had to settle with gripping a lock of undertaker's hair with all my strength as I sat on the carriage, fuming. The reaper was carefully eyeing the hand that could easily give him a bald spot with a simple pull, ready to save his hair from me, if it looked like I was getting to frustrated.

We were waiting on Vilvent, who was talking to the maid… uh Maribelle? Something like that. She was nice, and… uh…

She was climbing onto the carriage.

Not to be rude but… are we exchanging Vilvent for the maid? Because I wouldn't mind. I mean… there's not much room left in here…

Apparently, Undertaker disagreed with my thought, as he pushed me against the window, squishing me against it, and leaving barely enough room for Biscuit to sit, leaving the two spots in front of us for Vilvent and the maid to comfortably sit.

How… generous. Asshole.

"So… what happened?" I whispered to Undertaker, who was already as close as he could and could hear me perfectly well.

"Vincent gave her a job offer~" He whispered back.  
Oh!? Really? That's nice of Vilvent.

I smiled, happy that at least she was going to be okay. Vilvant was good. Most of the time. Probably.

"On another, completely unrelated note, I now owe another favor to Vincent~!" He cheered.

"Wait… Didn't you just paid him back a favor with this nonsense? What did you do, you old man?" I looked at the mortician, horror painted on my face.

Not another murder, anything but that.

"Hi hi hi hi~ How fun~, how fun~!" He sang, completely ignoring me.

"Takeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!" I wailed, exasperated.


	24. Chapter 23

**Well I bet most of you dreaded and expected this chapter in equal amounts, so I put it all in one chapter to shorten your suffering. Without further ado, here it is!**

 **Yukicarr: Thanks! I appreciate that people like it, I honestly don't know what I did you receive such positive reviews, but you're all amazing!**

 **steph557: Yes, I'm afraid it couldn't be delayed any longer... well I could, but then it wouldn't be fair to those who want to see Sebastian, so I at least managed to get a bit more of Vincent before he... Undertaker won't take it very well, that's for sure. I honestly try my best to stay consistent as I know the feeling when you have no idea when an author will post the next chapter of if they are taking a break or if they died, so I do my best to always post a chapter a week. If one day I don't post a chapter, it's probably because I died (or life got in the way and I will post the chapter the very second I'm able to). Thank you, I love all the support I get from the reviews, thank you very much.**

 **guadadominguez4: I'm sorry for your internet, I know how you feel and it's very frustrating. Vincent is definitely shipping them in the darkness of his mind. I just see him gushing in his room after the incident at dinner, shipping them when no one can see him act weird. What saddens me is that he will never get to see them together, but we can make him an honorary member of the club.  
Charles Grey eats so much that he should _not_ be able to move so nimbly. or at all. If the magic of fiction wasn't in place, he would ba a bit fat ball, destroying his enemies by rolling onto them like a bowling ball.  
About the favor Undertaker asked of Vincent, you are correct, poor little Lia was so sad that he couldn't bear seeing her so down. The old man can be nice when he wants to. He's not gonna say aanything about it, he still has a creepy reputation to maintain. **

**LittleSkyCompass: Yep. Their patience is slowly but surely coming to an end. Sadly, this chapter has a bittersweet note. Yep, Vincent is leaving, just for Sebastian to sneak in while our hearts are mourning.  
About Dalia learning she is in an anime... I had a few possibilities, with a few more scenarios in which she did realize she was in Black Butler, but that oblivious little dork completely missed all my paths in which she became a little more insightful. Now, if Tofu doesen't open his big mouth, the nearest oportunity for her to discover she's in an anime is after six years of coming into this world... and by then she will have already forgotten there was an anime called like that at all. So... Yeah, she's not realizing on her own.  
Thanks for the reviews despite the stress you have been going trough, I appreciate you like it so much. **

_**ATTENTION!**_ **I have uploaded a poll to see if would you prefer this story focus on the anime or the manga, as I am completely unable to chose. The poll will be kept up for a few weeks, so you have time to think it through and make a desicion. The choice is mainly concerning to see if you would rather taker and Dalia follow (with obvious divergences) the anime, or the manga. Despite having a few weeks, in which I will still publish a chapter, that does not mean the plot won't progress, as we are in a very... important point in the story.  
personally, I really have no preferences, and I am at a point in which it is equally easy to turn this story towards the happenings in the manga as it is to the anime, as the diferences start piling up from this point onwards. **

**For those worried their choice might not be the one finally chosen, do not worry, as I have planned a little something to cheer you all up after I'm done with this story. For now, it's a secret, but it still will star our lovely dorks, so vote without fear, because I will do my best to make sure everyone is happy by the end of it. Unless you are as indecise as me and vote to leave it in my hands... in which I will have to chose after a little coin tossing... I mean... after thinking it very carefully. That's what I meant. (No, really. I will really toss a coin, so please choose something).**

 **Disclaimer: Yana Toboso own Black Butler does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

The nobles left to their homes and winter came. And then it left.  
A year had passed, lazily trailing behind the one before it.  
The cold left, only to come back with more vengeance as winter approached again.

I don't think much had changed at all, Undertaker was still the same infuriating dork, creeping on innocent bystanders, Biscuit was as adorable as ever, and Undertaker's shop was still up and running.

"Little Lia, do take care of here~"  
And I still helped heal the bodies to practice.

Only with those that no one would notice, of course. And only those that couldn't move on their own, like this one. Mr. Brunett had died in a carriage accident, so the body was quite... damaged.  
Because his wife was also critically injured, she wouldn't be able to attend the funeral, so only very close friends would attend.  
It was a bit unusual, for a Baron to have a private ceremony, as that was more normal with servants and simple workers, but that gave me the chance to practice my healing skill, so I wasn't complaining.  
Neither was Undertaker. The man was always incredibly happy to receive more guests to make beautiful. Very creepy if you ask me.

Fall came, and the nobles left to their homes away from the city like a bunch of birds migrating to avoid the cold.

"Mwahahahaha! Eat this!" I shouted, preparing to defeat once and for all the mortician I called boss.

"That's cheating~! Little Lia~... you can't do that~" Said boss whined but, despite his protests, he wasn't actually trying to stop me.

"Mwahahaha! All is love in fairs and war!" I laughed.

"I'm sure it doesn't go like that~"The mortician corrected, which was true, thinking about it.

"Oh... You're right..." I mumbled, trying to remember how it went. "All is war in love and fairs! Eat thiiiiis!" I prepared to launch an attack at the reaper, who did nothing but whine and giggle.

"Noooooooooo~! Hi hi hi~"

Undertaker covered his face with his hands, in a futile attempt to protect himself.  
"EAT RAINBOWSSSS!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, hitting the mortician straight in the face.

' _[Eat Rainbows] has leveled up by one!'_

The reaper fell on his side, effectively knocked out. Well, he wasn't really unconscious, he was squealing and laughing, covering his face with his hands, rolling on the floor.  
Not that he had even _attempted_ to protect himself _or_ avoid my attack.

"That's not fair~ such an evil little assistant~" He snickered, when he got his bearings back. "You should respect your elders, you know~?"He playfully stated, moving a finger in front of my face like a parent scolding his child for doing something adorable, without any heat.

"Shut up old man, you only use your age when it benefits you!" I grumbled. "Go bald old man! You'll get fried fish!" I attempted to threaten the reaper, without much success.

"Yum~" The mortician giggled at my disgruntled face, showing he wasn't bothered by the threat.  
I pouted. Apparently, my repeated attempts to get him sick of fried fish had backfired terribly.  
Now Undertaker _adores_ fried fish. I can't understand why. I personally thought I was going to die, if I ate a single dish of fish more.

"Bleeergh!" I gagged, sticking my tongue out.

"Yum~" He repeated more than pleased with my reactions. Ass.

"Mhmm..." I pondered out loud. "Food..."  
Hey!

"Oh! I had a magnificent idea!" I stated, excited to try out this new idea of mine.

"You had an idea~? How surprising~" The mortician drawled, smirking at me.

"Let's go, Taker! To adventure!" I decided to ignore him, as I wanted to do this before I forgot what it was I wanted to do. My companion snickered, but complied.

Of course it wasn't _real_ adventure. It was a cooking-adventure to discover new flavors across the dungeon-land. Or something like that.

"Where do you dorks think you're going?!" A voice shouted from behind us, making us turn around to face an angry clown.  
Ah, Tofu apparently didn't like us forgoing our training session to go get food. Not that we had been taking our training session very seriously in the first place.

"We are going to kill monsters until they drop food~ then we will cook and eat that~" I explained my idea, which was a very good idea, in my opinion. It was free food, and I was in an experimenting mood.

Tofu stared at us, disbelieving, for at least a full second.  
"YOU CAN'T EAT THAT!" He finally shouted. Seeing as he was the one deciding those things, he probably knew quite a bit about this, even so…

"Let's go Taker~" I exclaimed, taking a page out of Undertaker's book and ignoring that which didn't benefit me.

"Food~" The mortician agreed, more interested in driving the clown up a wall, than any real desire for food.

"Aaaarghhhggg!" The clown shouted, taking his head on his hands and looking at the sky, probably asking himself why he put up with us at all.

Taker and I high five'd behind Tofu's back. That's payback for constantly speaking ill of Taker.

* * *

"Blerggghh!" I retched.

"I told you that you shouldn't eat that, didn't you see the diabolical grin in that clown's face, little Lia~?" The mortician asked, as healthy as a horse. "Hi hi hi~ It was a dead giveaway." He explained.

"Tofuuuuu... blergh... I will get you baaaack!" I promised in the few seconds I was able to tear myself away from the toilet.

As revenge for foregoing our training session to go discover new flavors, Tofu had made a plant monster drop a fruit. It did look a bit funny, but it tasted , my stomach didn't really agree with me.

I could faintly hear Tofu gloating and scolding me, about how I shouldn't defy him, when he had the clear advantage.  
I was a bit too busy barfing my innards to really pay him much attention.

And the fruit had tasted so good... It tasted heavenly… mhmm… so good…

I will definitely get him back for this, just you wait.

* * *

"Biscuit! NOOO!" I shouted, uselessly extending a hand towards the impending disaster.  
A 'clang' was my only answer, along with the sound of a liquid spilling onto the floor.

Undertaker peeked into the kitchen when he heard the shout and subsequent sound of something falling, looking at the recently formed mess.

"BISCUIT!" I screeched in despair, knowing it was useless, as the dog-child already ran away. They did well, as Biscuit had just single handedly destroyed two hours' worth of cooking.

"Awww~ the soup is ruined~" Undertaker just pouted, looking at the floor, at the spilled contents of the pot I had been boiling.

I sighed, giving up on retribution for the ruined work. "You still want soup?" I asked, knowing what the answer would be, even before the reaper opened his mouth.

The reaper scratched his head, considering the situation. "I like your soup." He pouted, looking forlornly at the spilled soup.  
In Undertaker's book, that means a yes. After all, he also likes my stew. And my fried fish. And that experimental pork buns I made... and even that time I just used him as a flavor tester to try to reverse-engineer a dish I tried once.  
Anything I cook, he likes, really.

Sighing, I considered what I would need, to make more soup.

"I will go buy more ingredients..." I would need more ham... we have enough vegetables... although I just ran out of bay leaf...

Undertaker helpfully piped in. "I will clean this mess~"

Did I use the last bit of thyme...?

Eh? Ah. "Thank you" I smiled at the mortician, who just looked away.  
That would actually save me a bit of time, time I didn't have.

"We will eat a bit later than usual, if you don't mind." I warned.

"I don't mind~ your cooking is worth it~" He simply said, making me blush like an idiot.  
Nonetheless, I brightened at the praise, knowing he meant it.

"Alright" I said, trying to hide the blush by looking at the mess on the floor again. "If you can also clean the pot, I would appreciate it, I will need it to make more." I asked.

"No problem~..." He turned his head to the shop entrance. "After I finish with this unexpected visitor~" He sang, happy to have another guest to take care of.

I just sighed, knowing that if there were clients, I would just leave through the back door, to avoid interrupting his business.

Now... did I look if I had finished the thyme? I don't think so. I will buy more. Just in case.

* * *

When I opened the shop door I was greeted with unexpected silence, which was strange.  
I would have expected Undertaker to greet me, asking about the food, despite the fact that it was impossible for it to be finished already, considering I just arrived...

Biscuit wasn't anywhere on sight, either. Which is also suspicious, as I doubt they're still worried about me being angry, it's been a good while, since the dog ruined my food.  
Maybe they left for a last minute errand? I hope they come back before I'm finished.

The shop was very dark, but Undertaker liked it that way, so I wasn't surprised. What _did_ surprise me was the fact that, as I walked in, my foot bumped against something that was out of place.  
I blinked, confused, and looked closely around.

Usually, the coffins were neatly arranged, everything had its place, and while at first glance the shop may look a bit of a mess, there was a certain order to that chaos.  
Not right now, though.

The shop had turned into a disaster zone. It seemed like a hurricane had passed through here, angrily leaving a path of destruction in its wake.

I felt my stomach plummet to my feet.

I walked into the kitchen, the pot was still on the floor, and the first attempt at soup hadn't been cleaned at all.  
In fact, the only changes to the kitchen were more destruction and chaos. Undertaker's only cup of tea was broken, its scattered pieces thrown across the floor. Undertaker's kettle had survived, but barely. A new large dent was now adorning that old scrap of metal. I think we will have to throw that away...

For my part, I didn't know if I should clean everything up, or look for Undertaker and Biscuit first. What am I saying? Stupid Lia.  
Undertaker first.

What if he has been kidnapped? It definitely looks like something happened, before he could clean the mess with the stew.  
But... Undertaker is a badass... what kind of monster could kidnap Undertaker?

The first floor was devoid of any life. I walked upstairs, planning of checking the bedroom.  
The door to the bedroom was closed shut. Locked.

"Undertaker...?" I tried, hoping I would get a response. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear anything, on the other side. I tried to open the door, to no avail.

Right now, I was on the verge of a panic attack, so there was no way I would be taking the nice and patient approach.  
I smashed the lock with my frying pan, kicking the door open.

I couldn't help the sigh of relief when I saw Undertaker inside. The relief was short lived, though.  
Undertaker...

Undertaker was...

He was...

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the pitiful mess that the always calm reaper had turned into.  
Undertaker was _crying_.

"Taker...?" I carefully whispered, socked and more than a bit afraid.  
He was sitting on the bed, his hands over his eyes, his hair a mess and at least three bottles of what I suspected was alcohol by his side.

What should I...?  
I... Undertaker never...

Undertaker was crying. Why was he crying? What should I do? What could I do?  
There had to be something I could do, to make him feel better... I...

I slowly walked closer to the reaper, who hadn't acknowledged my presence, yet.  
I carefully sat by his side.

Something truly horrible must have happened, if he was this affected. I... didn't want to ask him, and make him relieve whatever had happened all over again.

I was scared. More than I had even been.  
But not for myself.

Should I...? I didn't know what to do, what to say.

I took his hand in mine, simply brushing it with my thumb, waiting. I'm... not sure what was I waiting for, or if I merely hoped I could somehow make him feel better with my mere presence and silent support.  
I wasn't sure if he would appreciate a hug right now, or if my hug would be good enough to make him feel better... So I didn't hug him, but I very much wanted to.

I don't know how long it took, but he slowly applied pressure to the hand I was holding, finally gripping it like a lifeline.  
He raised his head to me, for the first time, I saw a deep grief in his eyes, threatening to swallow me whole.

I felt my own eyes swell up with tears, I didn't know what had made him this sad, but the very thought of seeing Undertaker cry was enough to make me cry, too.

The reaper finally croaked an explanation. "Vincent is dead" he said, no other explanation was offered, but it did help me understand. I still didn't know what to say. How could I make him feel better? Anything I said, he probably already knew. I never felt so… useless.

I put a hand over his cheek, softly brushing underneath his eye, wiping his tears away. It was the only thing I could do, while he cried his heart out.  
My whole palm turned wet in a matter of seconds.

"The Phantomhives... are no more... they're all... dead" His own voice was dead. Like he was saying this to himself, rather than explaining it to me.  
The only remnant of Undertaker's usual creepy drawl when he talked was when his voice broke when he said 'no more'.

"Taker..." I started, not knowing what I could say to make him feel better.

In a flash of green, Undertaker's eyes filled with grief and dementia, suddenly taking the ring he always wore on his index finger, and throwing it behind my back with a snarl. I flinched as the ring sailed right over my head and fell to the floor with a metal sound.

He teared himself away from me, getting up from the bed and walking a few steps away from me and the bed, unexpectedly stopping as if all his strings had suddenly been cut and just saying there, like he had forgotten why had he gotten up in the first place.

After a second of deep thought, I went to pick up the ring from the floor not far from the mortician's feet. Thankfully, the ring was still intact, I noted while I got a good look at it, making sure there were no damages.  
The ring consisted a green gem encased in what I believed to be silver, expertly manufactured, and very, _very_ expensive. Not something Undertaker would want to lose easily.

Undertaker had let himself fall on the bed again, drinking a whole bottle of what I was now more than sure was alcohol.

Softly kneeling before him, I took the bottle away from him, concerned he was acting like this.  
He didn't really fight to keep the bottle, he looked like he didn't care he was drinking his brain off.  
I frowned. I really hope he doesn't make a habit of drinking his problems away.

When I had put reasonable distance between Undertaker and his stash of alcohol, still kneeling before him, I softly took his hand, carefully putting the ring in its place once again.  
I felt a bit like I was asking him to marry me, which made me a bit more nervous and uncomfortable than I should be, considering this wasn't the moment to be thinking these things. Thankfully, the mortician was a bit too lost in his thoughts to realize any of this, and let it slide without comment.

He had never told me why, but that ring looked very important to Undertaker, I didn't want him to lose it.  
I was about to ask if he was okay, but the answer was so obvious, that I felt stupid for thinking that.  
He was not okay. Not by a long shot.

Once he got back his ring, he looked at it for a while, as if mesmerized by something only he could see shining in the glittery depths. Maybe memories.  
I just sat on the bed by his side, _–as my knees were killing me after a while-_ , silently supporting him.  
I didn't know how to comfort someone... I wasn't very good with words, and I didn't know what to say, anyways.  
Would he like a hug? Kim always hugged me when I was sad… and he did like to invade my personal space all the time, so… maybe he needs a hug?  
Uncertainly wrapping my arms around his torso, he finally moved a little, returning the embrace almost unconsciously. At least he didn't pull away or reject the hug.  
When he finally came to, he tightened his hold on me to almost painful levels, hiding his nose in my hair, pressing me against him like he wanted us to become one.

Something had happened to the Phantomhives... And Vilvent... no. Vincent. Vincent was dead.  
Were the twins okay...?  
He... said that the Phantomhives were no more, did that mean that Vil- Vincent's kids had died too?  
What... kind of horrible thing must have happened, to kill everyone?

Undertaker pulled me down on the bed. I crawled a bit up, so I could look at him.  
His face had fallen into a carefully blank mask, but his eyes still showed his pain. The tears hadn't stopped, yet.

I brushed his hair aside, wiping his tears, and kissing his scar, whishing there was something I could do… anything…  
Seeing him this hurt... feels like someone is digging a dagger through my heart.

He wrapped his arms around me again. The only sound of the room were the occasional rustle and the creak of the bed when someone moved too much.  
Undertaker kept crying silently, I don't know for how long. He put his face against my chest, crying into it, and in another moment I would have said something about his choice of hiding place, but not now.  
Definitely not now.

As I softly petted the back of his head, my mind was racing, thinking about what I could say, what I could do, to make him feel better.

I had considered talking about something funny from my past, but... my past considerably lacked funny stories.  
Any story I came up with was depressing.  
I wanted to make him feel better, not cry more.  
He definitely didn't need to know about the time I played hide-and-seek and everyone forgot me, while I spent hours trapped, surrounded by spiders.  
Although maybe he could find humor in that... he could be quite insensitive, when it came to these things... but I didn't want him to laugh at me for that.

I was drawing a blank, when it came to conversation topics that would tear his mind away from... Vincent's death.  
It felt... strange. Unbelievable. Was Vincent really dead? If Undertaker said so, then he probably was. Still...  
It felt... like... I don't know. I hadn't interacted with Vincent enough to form a solid opinion of him... he seemed quite charming and nice... but intimidating. He seemed good friends with Undertaker, but he always had that look on him, like he knew something I didn't and he thought I was an idiot for not knowing what it was…  
He was... dead? It felt... unreal. Impossible.

I looked at Undertaker. I... wasn't sure what the relationship between the two was, but... Undertaker obviously cared for him. And now he was hurting.  
I could sort out my feelings about Vincent's death later, right now, Undertaker was more important. He needed help, and I was the only one here that could offer him any support. I couldn't be an idiot and be too caught up in this tragedy to be unable to help him when he needed it most.  
My own feelings could wait.

What could I say... to make him feel better? I... wasn't very good with words... I never was. When I was sad and I didn't have anyone else, I just cried until I ran out of tears… or I sang to myself, when crying risked bringing to me my mother's wrath. Maybe he would like that? I wasn't a good singer, and I didn't know that many songs. But I did have one in mind for moments like these…

So I sang.  
I sang the only lullaby I knew. The one I had made up, when I was completely alone in the world, and couldn't sleep.

"Looking, looking for the horizon,

Searching for wonders across the world,

There's a ship that sets sail through the waves,

Of an endless sea,

Bright, soft and blue" I sang, the lyrics weren't such a great thing, but I had made them up when I was little, and I was proud I was able to remember them after all this time. By now they were engraved in my heart.

I just hummed, because words failed me, hoping I could help the mortician, even if it was just by making sure he knew he wasn't alone.  
I couldn't say anything that would wipe his grief away. There were no words that would heal the wound he had in his heart.  
I hummed and sang, wishing I could somehow share my feelings with him through my song, that I could somehow soothe his ache, and stop his tears.

If I could only do that, that would be enough.

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, I finally came up with a funny dream I had.

"Hey... I had the strangest dream, not long ago." I started, hoping the mortician was feeling better to listen to me.

Undertaker hummed. He looked up at me, but it lacked his usual cheeriness. He was still sad. The fact he had stopped crying was a big step already, even if his eyes were still sad.

"Do you remember Mr. Strict?" I asked. When he nodded I continued. "I dreamt about him. For the strangest reason he was laughing." I smirked, knowing the reaper would like that dream.

I was proven right when a pathetic snort could be heard.  
"William~? Laughing~?" At this he seemed to liven up a little, opening an eye to look at me. "Impossible... William Spears laughing!" A corner of his mouth slowly raised a half formed smirk sheering up the mortician's sad face. "You have an impossibly wild imagination, dear..." He mumbled, still with some mean puppy eyes that were made even more effective by the fact that the sadness behind them was _real_.

"It's true! Two people were annoying him and he just laughed it off!" I insisted, liking the way the mortician was cheering up as he pictured it.

"No way, no way~" He denied, a full smirk finally formed on his face, his eyes showed some of the amusement he felt at this.

"But it's true! It was really strange... I think Mr. Dimwit was there, but I'm not sure..." I mumbled, trying to remember the dream besides that strange tidbit of the laughing reaper.

"Reaper meeting? Was I there~?" he wondered, his head still resting on the pillows of the bed as I combed his hair with my fingers, as I didn't want to go fetch the brush and leave the reaper alone.

"No..." I tried to remember. "You had left earlier, to go rule your kingdom..." I mumbled. Or was that another dream? I remember Undertaker had been in that dream at some point…

Undertaker finally raised his head from the pillow, looking at me. He was interested.  
"I had a kingdom?" He wondered, surprised.

"...and a dress, but I digress." I quickly tried to move the attention away from that fact, as it was embarrassing. I also remember we somehow had a refrigerator that had lots of juice... although that tidbit wasn't relevant to the dream in any way shape or form. It simply stood out.

"No, no, I'm interested." The reaper finally wiggled, already in better spirits. "Do explain why was I in a dress." He teased, his eyebrows raising out of sight thanks to his hair.

"No reason..." I quickly denied. "It was just a dream, there's no reason why you had to be in a dress, you just were..." I attempted to defend myself and my weird subconscious mind, to no avail. "Although I guess being a princess probably contributed to the fact you were wearing a dress..." I had whispered that last part to myself... but that damn old man had a very good set of ears, when he wanted.  
"Awww~" He gushed, finally giggling a bit.

Undertaker had gained a smile, thanks to my efforts. I was quite proud of myself for that accomplishment.  
We had closed shop for today, neither Undertaker nor the shop were in any state to receive guests.

Undertaker had been in bed since I found him there, while I went to clean the shop. I didn't want to leave Undertaker alone, but the shop was a mess and the reaper insisted he was fine.  
While cleaning, I found Biscuit, who was hiding inside a coffin. That would explain why I hadn't found them when I got here.  
Apparently Undertaker had scared Biscuit something fierce. Nothing a good amount of bait couldn't solve, but I really had to wonder what Undertaker had done, to make Biscuit reluctant to leave the coffin it had taken refuge in.

As I bribed Biscuit with meat, Undertaker had languidly walked downstairs, simply looking around. The shop was already in a more decent state than before, if I do say so myself. The only thing left was putting the coffin Biscuit had hid in upright, and it all would be finished.  
Undertaker decided to help with that, moving the coffin towards the wall and letting himself tiredly fall on it afterwards.

He seemed to have aged a lot with this ordeal, his movements were wearier, his eyes tired, and there was a certain... neglect, to his appearance.  
He had lost his hat somewhere, his uniform was ruffled and barely hanging on, the coat he wore underneath the robe was askew. And he had the chain of lockets firmly on his hand, rather than around his hips.  
And don't get me started on his hair.  
If it wasn't for the fact that some hours ago he had been perfectly fine, I would have suspected he had pulled an all-nighter.

I went to look for the brush, surprisingly, it was in the bathroom, untouched.  
I think this may be the first time Undertaker didn't steal it.

I brushed Undertaker's hair, as he leaned on my chest. The angle was a bit awkward, but I managed.

When I finished brushing, I didn't have enough heart to pull him away, and just petted his hair, hugging his head.

It's still unbelievable... Vincent is dead? He... really is dead?

I... don't know what to think of that, yet. I hadn't interacted with him that much... he seemed like a very charismatic individual... which made me want to run away from him.  
He stole my cookies... but he didn't seem to consider himself my cookie rival... he... had been sort of nice to me.  
I hadn't really been able to understand him, and now I probably never would.

What had happened, to Vilvent's family? He had kids, so he probably had a wife. Would she come to make the arrangements for the funeral?  
Did we even have Vil- Eh... Vincent's body?

Was I... cruel? For not crying like Undertaker was? Was I thinking too coldly? Should I be devastated by his death?  
Somehow, I feel strangely... empty.

Undertaker seemed to have known him very well... I hadn't known him that well.  
Vilvent's and I only relationship was through Undertaker. We had never really held a proper conversation without the reaper around.  
His death... the only pain it brought to me, was through Undertaker's pain, and the sadness of a life ending. Seeing Undertaker suffering so much for this man's death, was what made me suffer the most.

I... don't think I can understand Undertaker's pain, right now. I can't share his pain, because our relationship with Vincent was completely different. If I couldn't understand or share his pain, how could I make him feel better?  
it felt a bit like… I wasn't allowed to cry, because I hadn't known him that well. Which is stupid, but…

I sighed. I really cannot believe this. It feels so... unreal.

A stomach grumbled. I'm... not sure if it was mine, actually.

Undertaker raised his head to me. "Food?" He asked blinking at me.  
Uh... yes. That would be a good idea, wouldn't it?  
The reaper wearily got up, freeing me from the hug he had given me when I got too close, and letting me do the same.  
He disappeared in the kitchen, but I was busy getting out of my inventory the things I had shopped to think anything out of that.

...

I had to say... there was a reason I had taken so long buying all of this.  
On my way there, I was ambushed. By cats. They bullied me until I bought them a fish.  
There were a lot, so I actually bought two fish, but they only took one, so now I was left with an extra fish.  
It was a complicated fish to cook, too. It had a very strong smell. Maybe that was the reason why the cats hadn't wanted it...  
I had bought ingredients to make soup, but if I didn't make the fish, it would go bad, and it would smell even worse.

What could I cook, with this...? Maybe I could make fish soup? I could save the ham for later...  
Or I could also implement the fish in a creative way that would catch Undertaker's attention. He liked those sort of things, it always made his day. If it looked funny, Undertaker would eat it for sure.

He had a tendency to get obsessed with certain foods for a while... like that time he wanted nothing but stew. Or that other time in which he craved nothing but a condiment I had tried to replicate from memory, he put it everywhere. It was disgusting.

Maybe I could make fish on a stick? As a side dish for the soup… If I cut the fish in different shapes, first... But, that's a waste of fish... I don't have enough fish for that... but, what if I… huh… maybe… but then the fish couldn't be cooked the same way…  
With what I have... I could...  
...Go to the bathroom and puke. What the hell is this smell?  
Not the fish, actually. Surprisingly, a horrific, nightmare-inducing smell _reeked_ out of the kitchen, forcing me to cover my nose and making Biscuit run to the bedroom where the smell hadn't reached yet.

It wasn't possible for the soup to have gone bad, I had already cleaned that mess... and it would never smell like that...

...

No.

No he didn't.

I ran to the kitchen, covering my nostrils to protect them from the assault, and sure enough, Undertaker was there, in front of the recently cleaned pot, boiling...  
A monster straight from hell, if that moving tentacle was any indication.

"What in the name of cookies did you put in there?!" I panicked, looking wide eyed at the tentacle that was twitching inside the pot.  
Undertaker languidly turned to me blinking at my stupefied face. "Mhm~? Some fish leftovers... some noodles I found somewhere..." he looked at the twitching tentacle with an apathetic face. "Among other things..." He finished, looking at the tentacle like he just realized like that wasn't supposed to happen, but too drained to actually give half a fuck about it.

This is a new kind of low, in "Undertaker's food chain". This was lower than bottom. This was the equivalent of bedrock in his food chain. How did he even...?  
I grabbed the reaper by the sleeve, putting distance between him and the kitchen... and the pot of nightmares, of course.

"You're not cooking. Never again. You're forbidden from getting closer than five feet to the kitchen for the rest of your existence." Kicking him out of the kitchen, all my plans for today's lunch were thrown out of the window.

He said he put fish leftovers in there, right? Then it's supposed to be a fish soup of sorts...  
I looked at the fish I was bullied into buying. I think I owe those cats an apology. They just saved me from going out again to buy more ingredients. That is if I can work with it… well, I can just hope. It's not like I can make it worse than it already is.

I quickly started working on the fish, only stopping from time to time to add this or that to the pot.

I had covered the pot where the tentacle had made its home, of course. Now it's my duty to turn this nightmarish food into something edible.

* * *

Undertaker was crying again. Fortunately, this time it wasn't out of sadness.

"It feels like my mouth is being raped by this flavor~!" He said, two waterfalls falling from his eyes. "Hi hi hi hi~" the white haired reaper was wiggling in place, eating a fish soup with a touch of mysterious-tentacle.

"Please... I cooked it, I know what it's supposed to tase like. I don't need... whatever you're trying to do." I pleaded. It was really disturbing, especially because the reaper wasn't restraining himself any, when it came to the descriptions or even the pleased sounds he was making.

He was attempting to describe the flavor of the "mystery fish pot" and describing how it made him feel, like he was one of those stereotypical judges in a food competition that go on and on about how this food is like such and such, going overboard with the comparisons and descriptions.

From his earlier description, one can guess that the pot wasn't something I would normally cook. I was so ashamed of it, that I was refusing to eat the dish. Especially not after I knew it was supposed to originally be a tentacle. A moving tentacle.

"Ah~ it feels like every bite is forcing me into taking another one~" He moaned, drooling and throwing his head backwards, giving me a good lock at the scar of his neck.

"Please stop making these sounds... people will get the wrong impression" His moans were making me nervous and honestly, I would rather appreciate if Biscuit still wasn't so against coming out of the bedroom because of the lingering smell. It would make me feel a bit… less bothered.

"Ahhh~" He moaned again, probably knowing very well what he was doing to me.

He was being rather vocal, about his appreciation of the dish. If someone told me Undertaker was being tentacle-raped, and only let me hear his moans, I would believe them wholeheartedly.

I shivered. What the hell was up with that, Dalia? That was horrifying. Bad Dalia, bad Dalia.  
"Taker... Please, I beg you" My whole face had turned into a deep scarlet hue.

He wrapped his arms around his own body, hugging himself and wiggling in place.

"But it feels so good~... and so terrible at the same time~ hi hi~ this is wrong~!" He moaned at the top of his lungs for everyone to hear. Seriously, I'm going to muzzle him, if he keeps this up.

"Yes, it's wrong, so please stop already..." I was so nervous I couldn't even hold my chopsticks in my hand.

He brought another spoonful to his lips. "Ahhh~" He kept moaning.

"You're not stopping, are you?" I despaired. He was doing this on purpose, I knew that.

"Mhmm~" He kept moaning.

"Alright" I simply said, trying to tune him out.  
It's fine. I'll just leave him to it. He can enjoy the "mysterious-tentacle fish pot" however he wants. I'm never making it again. And seeing as I can't even hold the chopsticks properly while he's making those sounds, I will just… not eat. I'm not that hungry anymore. After that tentacle… I shuddered.

I shook my head, banishing that tough from my mind and sighed, smiling at the fool I lived with.  
He had cheered up, but I would be lying, if I said I didn't notice the absent looks and sad eyes he had when he thought I wasn't looking.  
I feared that something irreplaceable had been lost, inside Undertaker.  
I feared there was a part of Undertaker that I hadn't know of, and it broke with Vincent's death.

I realized Undertaker might have been trying to act like a goof for my own sake, and that he might never actually heal that particular wound.  
I hugged Undertaker, simply enjoying his proximity, trying to speak without words.

He finally stopped acting silly, and ate his food with a pensive frown.  
"I'm not sure if I can keep doing this, little Lia..." His voice sounded almost pained, broken.

He didn't need to act like he was fine, if he wasn't.

"I'm here..." what else could I say? I didn't like seeing him sad... but I liked it even less when he hid his pain under a mask. It didn't fit him. Undertaker should not have to act like he was happy, if he wasn't.

Undertaker glanced at me with a longing look, pained eyes staring at me like I would disappear at any second. "I want to be selfish so badly..." He mumbled.  
I blinked confused why he would think he couldn't be selfish. Undertaker was always a bit selfish, and I didn't mind in the least, it somehow was one of his charms.

Who said he couldn't be selfish? We were both a pair of selfish fools, stumbling our way through life.  
This was a moment where he could be selfish. If he wanted to mope around the shop like a ghost, he could do so. He could show his pain in any way he wanted, as long as it didn't hurt anyone. Especially himself.

I wanted to be there. To wipe his tears away. I wanted to laugh in his happiest moments, and to hold his head against me in his saddest ones. I wanted to be like a safe haven he could rest in.  
I wanted to be the one he showed his weakness to, so he could remember that despite all of that reaper business he had going on, he was still just a man, and... He didn't need to be anything but.

I didn't know how to say all of this to him, though. Once again, words failed me when I needed them the most.  
Instead I simply decided to show my thoughts through my actions.

Getting up from the chair, I sat on his lap and caressed his face, using the fact I was on his lap to reach his forehead and kiss it a bit more easily… he still had to lower his face a bit to allow for that kiss. I rested my lips there, as he sighed, bringing me into an embrace, the food all but forgotten.

"Don't leave..." he said in the faintest of whispers, and if I had relied a little less on my ears, and a bit more on my eyes, I might have not heard the words. But I did.  
And I couldn't act like I hadn't heard, despite that being the easy way out.

…

I... what should I do? He had just asked of me one of the few things I wasn't sure I would be able to give him.  
I wanted to stay with Undertaker so badly...But I had left Kim, back home... I couldn't do like Kaito did...  
Could I really do like Kaito had done, and go back just to say goodbye? After how much it had hurt me? I... I'm not sure I can... But leaving Kim without ever knowing what had happened to me, left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth, and I really wanted to go back, if only to bring a sense of conclusion to that part of my life.

Kim and Kala... they were waiting for me, back home... Could I just leave all of that behind, for Undertaker?  
I surprised myself by feeling more than willing.

He was right, what he asked of me was terribly selfish. We really were a pair of selfish idiots.  
But he was hurting. I really couldn't hold it against him. Someone he cared for just died, he would never see Vilvent again.  
If I left, I would also be dead, in a sense. And he didn't want to face that possibility right now.

No matter what I choose, the world I didn't choose to live in would think I was dead, going on with their lives...  
Would Undertaker be able to go on with his life? Before this, I wouldn't have even questioned it. Undertaker was strong. Really strong.

Right now, though, I could see the soft tender flesh of Undertaker's heart, raw from losing someone important to him.

Alright, maybe I could have worded that better. But the message was clear. He was hurting and I couldn't leave him. But I couldn't stay either.

...

I... I don't think I can leave him... I don't want to hurt him...  
But if I stay… I would be hurting Kim… Kala would never see me again. She was the last of the stray dogs Kaito and I took care of when we were little, in a sense, it was like I was also choosing between Kaito and Undertaker.

My heart... feels like is being torn into two pieces. And it hurts so much…  
I knew there was no stopping the tears, but at least the position we were in didn't let the reaper see what making this decision was doing to me.

I knew I could probably live a happy life with Undertaker. Maybe I would never quite fit in this world, but Undertaker didn't quite fit, either. Maybe I would always have that hole in my soul, yearning for the ones I left behind, but... I would be as happy as I could be, in that situation. Undertaker made me happy.  
We could be strange together. And I would be lying if I say I would be miserable leading that life.

On the other hand... if I went back, I would avoid becoming that which I had resented for so long.  
I would live a lonesome life, Kala would die soon of old age and with her the last remainder of the Kaito I had known, the one that stole food and promised me one day to get me out of the miserable life I lived. The one that didn't lie to me…

I was trembling and sniffing, holding onto Undertaker and hiding my face from view. No matter how silent I tried to be, my sniffles didn't quite pass as a simple cold, and I still felt I was being too loud.

Kim would probably... I don't know... She would probably be angry I left without saying anything. Maybe she would forgive me, in time. Maybe not. She could be quite vindictive, when she wanted… then again, she was very forgiving, too.

I would keep studying, I would get a job, a real one. I would pay my taxes and I would die of old age or maybe a heart attack once I was so old I had grey hairs I wouldn't bother covering, surrounded by dogs. Maybe not Kaito's dog's descendants as an accident had completely erased that possibility from the future as I had wanted, but dogs that needed me and made me company all the same. I would love them anyways. Or maybe even cats, as dogs would take a lot of energy I would no longer have, even if cats were a bunch of assholes, they would keep me company, too and I would also love them. Even if they were a bunch of devils. I would name them off of names of demons. I liked that idea…  
Even if I saw myself surrounded by cats, naming them with demon names, I still couldn't really see myself trying to fill the hole in my heart left by Undertaker.  
I would live unhappy, but I would have stayed true to myself, and I would make sure I wasn't completely alone. I had never thought I would need anything, besides that, but now... now a life without Undertaker seemed agonizingly dull.

I calmed down as I tried to make a choice. No falling meteor would conveniently fall down now to save me from making this choice, as hard as that is. I can't keep pushing this back.

My happiness was never my first priority.

...

But Undertaker's was.

I sniffed as I basked in the reaper's comforting hug. And to think I had been the one trying to comfort him not even half an hour ago…

How did that line go...? "Until death do us part?" I asked more than stated, raising my head to peek at the mortician's eyes, as I wasn't even sure if I had said that line correctly. I did have a habit to forget and subsequently change idioms and… well, everything, really. From names to idioms to everything in between…

His eyes widened to the size of oranges, his mouth opening a bit and hanging there, which made me realize I was an idiot and that I should probably thought a bit harder, before saying _that_.

Because, alright I wasn't thinking straight, but maybe I could have chosen another line to show I would stay, a wedding vow wasn't a very wise choice, even if it did convey the meaning I wanted to get across, he was probably weirded out by...

And... He's kissing me. Alright.

Wait, rewind... WHAT?

My eyes widened as my whole body stiffened.  
He is kissing me. On the lips. As in... Kiss. A real kiss... like... mouth on mouth and… oh, my…

I tried to resist the urge to start seizing like I was having a stroke, but I had lost all control of my foot, which was doing whatever it pleased, twitching and wiggling like a worm, a few spasms here and there racking my whole body.

Can someone explain what happened?!  
What... how- why...?

What?

Don't faint Dalia, be strong. Don't faint. I repeated those words inside my head like a mantra, which said something about my current mental state.

I coughed into the kiss from surprise. For a first kiss, that could have gone way better. At least I was keeping the spasms to a minimum.

He pulled away, giggling at my stupefied face, or even at the foot that had decided the best way to show my current turmoil was to start hitting the leg of the chair we were sitting on.  
Far from getting bothered by that, the reaper was looking at me with those soft eyes, so tender and happy.

Alright, change of plans, Dalia. Faint.  
Faint, I don't think I can keep staring at those eyes and that smile without dying on the spot.  
That would put an anticlimactic end to the "death do us part" vow.

Faint faint faint faint.

I don't know if the sound that escaped me was a whine, a squeal, a sigh, a dying animal cry, or the sound of my soul escaping my body.  
But it wasn't funny.

Undertaker thought otherwise. He snickered, falsely muttering "my bad~". He looked a step away from throwing his head and guffawing like the total asshole he was.

I think my mental pray for unconsciousness was bearing fruit, because I swayed on the spot, edges of my vision darkening.  
It was that, or the excessive gathering of blood in my face, throbbing painfully.

"I might have gotten a little bit ahead of myself~" He finally muttered, the colors of his face dancing across my vision painfully as he concernedly put a hand on the back of my head, preparing himself to catch me if I fainted. Which I did barely a second later.

No shit, Sherlock.

* * *

' _Waking up in your bed after fainting, you restore two thirds of your Hp and Mp'_

I woke up in a warm embrace.  
Looking up proved that I was in bed, Undertaker's arms around me, stealing my warmth like always.

I sleepily looked at the window, it was a very dark night, with no moon in sight.

...

Ah... what happened? Everything felt like a blurr… I remember crying and then…

I sat up on the bed, alarmed.  
Wha- I...? He...?

I touched my lips. Blushing at the memory.  
That had been a dream, right? Please tell me that was just a very pleasant dream.  
I put my head on my hands, despairing internally.  
Oh... sweet lord. That had to be the strangest dream I ever had. How could I ever dream something like that!? And with Undertaker no less! My mind wanted me to be unable to look at the reaper without blushing or what?! My mind is weird and my dreams are stupid. That was definitely the strangest dream I ever had!  
And that comes from the person who dreamed of being a couch-maker for a vampire overlord who hanged encouragement words like: "friends forever" on the castle walls. Yes, that happened. The vampire overlord was very picky with her couches. But, I digress.

If it was a dream... then it meant that Vincent wasn't really dead, right? Oh, thank goodness…  
Well, that's a problem solved, everything was a figment of my imagination, good night and sweet dreams.  
I sighed in relief. What a terrible situation that was. For a second I thought I would start crying. Poor Vilvent. I will give him a cookie when I see him next. And then I will hug him. Or tell Undertaker to hug him.  
Yeah, even better.

I was about to go back to sleep, but I was prevented from going back into the pleasant dream by Undertaker's stirring, my sudden movement must have awakened my bedmate. Well, one of them. Biscuit slept like the dead.  
"Hey..." he mumbled, still more asleep that awake, a line of drool falling from the corner of his mouth.  
I looked at the half asleep reaper under me. He was adorable, with his hair a flowing mess, surrounding his head like a white halo.

"Hey" I answered, after a few beats in which I simply ogled the reaper in his half awake state.

"Bad dream...?" He asked, as it was the most usual reason why I was awake in the middle of the night.  
Bad dreams weren't unusual, for me, but they were usually replaced with these strange dreams, when Undertaker slept next to me.

"Not really..." I said as I wiped his face off of drool with the sleeve of my pajama shirt. "It was kind of pleasant" I answered, not knowing how to classify a dream where I kissed Undertaker and Vilvent died. I must be having some hardcore sexual tension accumulated for me to dream of such a thing. "Well, more like bittersweet" Vilvent dying wasn't pleasant at all.

The reaper hummed, closing his beautiful eyes again, accepting my answer. I laid back down, still looking at my bedmate.  
He had closed his eyes, his long eyelashes softly brushing his cheeks. He looked very peaceful. Like an angel, his pale hair wildly strewn around his head like a halo, his usually dopey eyes peacefully closed, a small smile on his lips.  
I wanted to kiss them, but that would be... yeah, not a good idea. I blame the dream.

He opened his eyes again. They had a hidden sadness in them, but he was smiling mischievously.  
"Enjoying yourself?" he teased, knowing that would make me blush and look away.

I did exactly that. "Maybe" I grumbled, not willing to admit I had really enjoyed looking at his face.  
The reaper snickered sleepily. Then he sighed, pulling me closer.

After that, it was silent, and I couldn't help but marvel that such a beautiful being like Undertaker could exist.  
It made my heart race out of my chest, and I wanted to hide my face like an ostrich and never come out.

I think I was blushing. My cheeks felt warm. At least Undertaker wasn't awake enough to catch on that fact. He would tease me for it.

I brushed the hair over his eyes away, eyeing the scar that ran down his face. He was... precious. He was a bit of an oddball, but I loved him for it.

...

He suddenly opened his eyes again, looking at me, half amused and half mock offended. "...But that was a horrible first kiss, I demand a refund." He finally stated.

"Gah-!" Ispasmed again, my eyes widening to their max capacity and putting some much needed distance between the reaper and me.

Wha- Wait. That wasn't-

"Y-you caught me off guard!" I attempted to defend myself. "How was I supposed to know you were about to kiss me?!" I screeched, not paying any mind to how many neighbors I awoke with my screech. I was a bit too busy blushing anyways.

"At the very least you could have _not choked_ on your own saliva~" He teased, totally enjoying my misery.

"I was surprised! That doesn't count!" I cried, not wanting to continue that conversation.

Argh! So it wasn't a dream! This is horrible! I hid my face from the world and undertaker with the covers of the bed. It was good... and embarrassing... but horrible!

"Alright, it doesn't count." The mortician finally gave up. "Let's make like that never happened." He casually said, like it wasn't a big deal.

Wait, really?

I mean... I guess...

This is because it was a mistake, right? He probably wanted to kiss that girl he liked, but only I was close by at the time...

"Alright..." I didn't sound disappointed. After all, Undertaker was acting like it wasn't such a big deal… But it was! Because he just stole my first kiss and I want to dunk his head underwater and just wait until he stops squirming like the lowly eel he is! Idiotidiotidiotidiotidiot! Asshole! Stupid old man!  
I wasn't disappointed! That was my sleepy voice, playing tricks.  
I wasn't, really.

Alright, maybe I was. And maybe I was also a _little bit_ angry. I'm-going-to-cut-all-your-hair-off kind of angry.

"Good~" he simply stated, oblivious to what I would do to his hair the second he fell asleep.

And then he kissed me again.

...

...

...

Five little ducks went swimming one day, over the hill and far away.  
Mother duck said "Quack Quack Quack" and only four little ducks came back.

...

...

This is not working...  
His lips are so soft... too soft... and... and... and that's wrong! Asshole!

I pushed his face away, my face as red as a tomato. I was feeling lightheaded.  
"A heads up would have been nice, you know. My mind almost broke for a second" While I was dazed, my mouth decided to speak for itself while my brain was out of commission.  
Wait, no. That's not the problem.

"Alright~" He said. It took me a bit to remember what he was agreeing to, which was probably not a good sign.  
Well, thank you. At least now I don't have to worr- "Head's up: I'm going to kiss you~" he quickly interrupted my train of thought, not letting me process his words before he was already kissing me.

"That's hardly-" I tried to say, but I was literally being shut up by a kiss. And my brain cells were panicking inside my head, unable to put two thoughts together. I faintly heard prison-like alarms and the sound of my brain farting, giving up entirely on processing anything but the fact I was panicking.

Alright. Seems like I have to put some order in my mind. Let's go by little steps:  
Step one: ... I'm being kissed...  
Step two: ...

...

Forget about steps, why aren't I kissing the lips off of this idiot?  
Alright, step one: kiss the idiot.  
Step two: breathe  
Step three: feel like the most horrible scum of the earth for kissing the previously mentioned idiot.  
Step four: Kiss the idiot again. His lips are soft and it feels good.  
Step five: ... what was I doing again?

Ah, yes kissing the idiot.

His lips were velvet soft and pleasantly cool. I felt my legs turning into jelly, and I think I was trembling like a leaf.  
He was softly brushing his hand over my cheek while I held onto him for dear life.

I pulled away. I needed to breathe. The lack of oxygen is making it difficult to think properly.  
Why was I feeling guilty, again? ... I forgot already.  
I was so confused. I was a hundred percent sure there was a pretty good reason why I _shouldn't_ kiss him.  
But I forgot said reason. Undertaker's lips made it very hard to think logically.  
My, I really want to kiss him again. Must. Resist. Temptation.

I think my whole face has turned a bright red color. I wouldn't be surprised if I started glowing, from having such a bright blush.  
My only saving grace was that the room was dark and Undertaker was half-blind.

I wanted to say something, but my mouth wasn't working and I ended up meowing like an idiot, face completely red.

"Awww~ just like a kitten~ so adorable~ I will have to do this more often~" The reaper chucked, amused at my mortified face. "Did I finally catch you~, my little rabbit~?" He finally asked, looking as smug as he possibly could be.

That sounds vaguely familiar... Oh, Christmas...  
"I told you I would rather be a cat" not that that is the most important thing happening, right now. Soft lips had quickly made it to the top of my priorities. I mean... what?

"And I told you there's barely a difference" he giggled, probably remembering the sound that escaped me barely a few seconds ago. I blushed.

"There is a difference. Cats are evil" I attempted to point out.

"Are you evil~?" He simply asked, tilting his head to the side.

"No..." I grumbled. "I still would rather be a cat" I pouted.

"Well... But did I catch you~?" The reaper asked, impatiently nuzzling his nose with mine.

"Depends on what you caught" I squeaked, trying to think of anything but the proximity of his face to mine. I think I'm still out of it. Not making much sense over here...

He stared at me. Blankly. "A cat... or a rabbit?" I asked, not really knowing what I was saying at all.

"A very dense human, by the looks of it~ hi hi hi~" He giggled, more amused at my face than my answer.

"And... are you going to eat her...?" Because, if that was the case... I should probably flee while I can.  
I still remember what he said about cats and rabbits tasting the same.

He smirked, flipping us so he was above me, on the bed.  
Alright, I can't flee anymore. Which is worrying.  
"Oh, yes~" His creepy voice went lower than usual, making me want to cover my face with my hands.

"Not... literally, I hope?" I wondered with wide eyes. Because that would be very worrisome. Like... I'm getting seriously worried here.

He snickered, looking softly at me. "Not literally~" He gave up, smirking at my worried face.

Ah... good, good. Just making sure... you know, with Undertaker that's always a good option.  
One day he says he can wake the dead, and you might not believe him, but he can... and... I'm... not making sense am I?  
I will sue that reaper for that kiss! He stole the few working brain cells I had intact!

"Uh..." I tried.

"Mhmm~?" He hummed, tilting his head to the side as he towered above me, looking straight at my eyes, with his own sleepy eyes, half lidded, and those sinful lips, smiling like he was enjoying this way more than he should.

Alright. I think I need to go to sleep. I can try to make sense of what happened tomorrow. Yes, good idea. Idea of the year. Way better idea than getting into this situation.

HOW THE HELL DID I GET INTO THIS SITUATION IN THE FISRT PLACE?!

"Goodnight!" I quickly said as I put my head under the covers, hiding from the snickering reaper.

"Dalia..." I heard Undertaker say softly but firmly.  
I peeked, looking at Undertaker. He had used a different voice than his normal voice when he talked, different from the creepy drawl he used to scare people, and different from the playful voice he used to tease me.  
It was... serious. Like when he promised me he would never let me fall, that time we danced.  
And he did use my full name, not just Lia. That always made me think something serious had happened.

"Yes...?" I didn't know what to think of it, so I answered softly, and a bit uncertain.

He smiled. It wasn't a wide smile, but it was one of those smiles that I treasured in my heart. It was one of his heartfelt, true smiles.

"Thank you" He simply said as he caressed my cheek.

I blushed, blinking. Why was he thanking me, now? I did nothing.  
He let himself fall on me, resting his head on my chest, his cold nose touching my neck.

I hugged him, hiding my bush with his hair.  
I was not sure what had I done, to receive that thank you, but if I knew, I would do it again in a moment.  
I kissed his forehead, thankful he couldn't see my blush.

I didn't feel right saying "you're welcome" if I didn't know what I had done, and anything else seemed... not appropriate.

I ended up giving up entirely.  
"Good night, Taker"


	25. Chapter 24

**Gosh. I'm so dead, that I had to ask dear old Taker to turn me into a bizarre doll so I could post this chapter, so please excuse me if I'm not as... lively as usual. Pun. I'm horrible.**

 **My current lack of sleep, food and everything else a normal human needs to survive is all thanks to a good old friend named pro. And yes, they are a pro at what they do, that's why they are called Pro-castination. Hahaha please kill me.**

 **I won't be answering reviews individually because I'm so dead that not even crows would want my corpse. Instead I will comment a general answer to the most disscussed topics.**

 **Yes that happened. I still can't understand how myself. I have no idea how or why that happened, I'm just a slave writing the words.  
Taker's tentacle soup defies all laws of physics and logics, and not even I know exactly how did this happen.  
Please don't cry, Vilvent had to go, we will all miss him. **

**About the poll there's still time to vote, so don't worry. I am mainly asking regarding the parts of the manga and anime that are mutually exclusive. For example, in the anime... wait a second.**

 **Spoilers of the manga and anime in this Author's Note, below this line, read at your own discretion!**

 **Okay, that's better. In the anime, when Ciel & company find Undertaker in the libary, Wil shamelessly declares he is a reaper, which would mean the whole "OMG he's a reaper and I never noticed" situation in the campania wouldn't take place. In a similar fashion, if the campania events took place, neither Grell nor Sebastian and Ciel would accept Undertaker's presence (and help) in the events of the anime. It is mainly this, I will probably mix a few things from both manga and anime regardless of which option will be chosen, but what I had wanted to know was your opinion about the ones that are mutually exclusive. As I honestly have no preference, I had wanted to ask you readers about this, I won't write and publish something I don't like, so if I'm asking you guys it's because I want your opinion in this. So don't worry about a thing. You're all so nice that I don't deserve you. **

**Okay Spoiler Time is over.** **It really wasn't that much of an spoiler, but I still want to be careful... although I guess this is kind of pointless, as it will probably end up in the fic sooner or later...**

 **Well, seeing as my mind is still recovering from the punishment it went through after I decided to leave it all for "later" I will just give you the chapter so you can read it without my needless blabbering.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, sir. You got the wrong person, Yana Toboso owns Black Butler.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

I woke up surrounded by silky long, light hair and a soft sensation on my lips.  
The hair wasn't anything new, but the sensation was definitely a first. The novelty of the sensation was enough to rouse me from sleep.

"Good morning~" Undertaker's creepy voice cut through my confusion like a knife cutting butter, finally giving me the strength to look up at him.

"What time is it...?" I mumbled, too tired to actually process what I was hearing or saying.

"Far too early, I'm afraid~" He answered with a smile, looking far more pleased then he should be at this hour in the morning.

"Then why did you wake me?" And with a kiss, no less. Not that I was complaining, of course. I would have to be a fool to complain.

"Hi hi hi~" The reaper laughed, amusedly tapping my nose with one of his incredibly long nails. "I wanted to try to wake you up like this~" Undertaker snickered, pleased at my tame disposition. "And I have to say, you're way less grumpy than normal~"

"I see... good night, then" I closed my eyes again turned away from my boss, too tired to deal with him right now.

"Aww~" The mortician whined, hugging me and preventing me from putting any distance between us. Giving us, I returned to my comfortable, warm spot in Undertaker's arms.  
Now, if only he would let me go back to sleep... he seemed awfully cuddly, this morning, nudging me and nuzzling me like he was a cat vying for attention.

"What did you dream about~?" He prodded, attempting to awake me further from my deep slumber.

"A fat woman rolling around a house." I simply answered, it was the truth; the woman was so fat that she orbited around the house like the moon orbited around the earth. She was almost like a balloon. It was an interesting dream, and I would rather like to go back to it.

I heard a very familiar giggle, and the chest I was using as a pillow shook with barely restrained force.  
Mhmm... this felt nice... it was like one of these massage-chairs, the ones that rumbled when you sat on them. This was a cheaper version, but it still felt kind of nice.

A hand started combing through my short hair, messing up my already messy bed hair.  
"I have to get up, dear..." my pillow started moving, lazily stirring from its relaxed position.

I grumbled, refusing to release the reaper.  
"I have to make the arrangements for the Phantomhive funeral..." he quietly explained, almost regretfully. At this, I let him go. No way would I be in the way right now, this must be hard enough for him.  
I wasn't about to let him face this alone, though. "Can I help in any way?" I asked, looking at the slowly rising reaper.

Undertaker blinked, turning his head to look at me, eyes slightly wide, like he hadn't expected to hear that offer.  
He took a while, but finally answered. "I..." he trailed off, smiling softly "I would appreciate the company"

* * *

"Why is it this cold, this early in the morning?" I complained, fingers almost frozen solid.

"Hi hi hi~" the mortician laughed, completely impervious to the cold. "Because it's winter, dear. It happens in winter, this thing called snow falls from the sky and freezes the streets. Ever heard of it~?" He smirked at the pout I had, I was trembling like a leaf.  
I ignored the playful voice at my side that belonged to my boss as I was busy internally complaining how cold it was to pay it any mind.

It really was cold, but that was to be expected, in December. That knowledge didn't help my trembling any, though.

Undertaker was digging the last of the graves that would become the Phantomhive family's final resting place.  
I could see the Phantomhive's Manor from here. It wasn't in a very good state, let's say. The few things that weren't completely destroyed, were completely black from the fire.

Vilvent... Eh... Vin... Vincent's wife wasn't going to attend the funeral. Or... well, she was, but as a dead body. Undertaker was digging what would become her grave right now.

From what I was told, a fire burned the whole house to the ground, killing the family and all the servants. Only old man Tamana... Eh Tamako... Tanka... Ta… Ta-na-ka...

Only the butler I had learnt the Chibi form from was alive, but he was very seriously injured. He was still in the hospital.

Undertaker had sported that pensive, sad face, as he made the final preparations for the funeral. He wasn't crying at least, even if I feared the reason was he ran out of tears to cry.

When he finished digging the last grave he simply stood there, looking at the three holes that would soon be filled with their final occupants, like he had forgotten what he was supposed to do, now.

I took his hand, leading him away from the graves and the burnt manor, towards the cart where Hercules was patiently waiting for us. The donkey seemed completely apathetic, but by the way the ears were turned in our direction, I suspected he, too, was worried about his master.

Said master blinked at our entwined hands, smiling softly after a beat, ears turning a nice shade of pink.  
"Wanna go somewhere, dear~...?" He offered, his usual creepy voice chasing away any sadness I still felt.

Uh… "Home" I finally replied.

The reaper had his eyes covered, as he often did when he was outside, but by the slight opening of his mouth, I could imagine he had widened his eyes in surprise. He then morphed his expression, smiling one of his soft smiles that melted my heart.  
"Home, huh?" He brought me closer to him, softly brushing his nose against mine. His nose was cold. "Hi hi~ I would like that very much~" he finally said, still smiling softly.

I didn't say anything strange, did I? I don't think I did... it was too cold to go anywhere, and it was getting kind of late. I should start thinking about what we would eat.

I also wanted to talk about... whatever was happening between us, now.  
I was a bit worried, because, last time we talked about love, Undertaker had liked some mysterious girl. A mysterious girl that may or may not be a Zombie.  
I mean... if he was doing this because he was sad and wanted to feel loved... Uh... I don't know, but I would definitely be a bit hurt he was using my feelings for him to comfort himself...  
I wouldn't blame him, but I would still be hurt.  
If it turned out that the girl he liked had turned him down and that made him sad, making him turn to me for comfort, I would find that girl and hang her from the London Bridge...  
I mean... I would talk to _cough_ hug _cough_ Undertaker to make him feel better... and _then_ hang the girl from the London Bridge.

But we really had to talk... because I honestly cannot understand what is currently happening between the two of us.  
I mean... this relationship has "tragedy" written all over it. There's no way this was ending nicely... I mean... he's a reaper... he would see me grow old and die from old age, that is, if I didn't die from anything else that likes to prowl around this time's London, like diseases, unwary carriages, _killers_... because apparently, everyone here kills as a hobby. Something to do in the weekends: visiting friends, playing an instrument, sewing, playing sports or caving someone's face in. Normal stuff.

I shook my head, I was thinking too much into it.

I wanted to ask what was currently going on between us… if there was anything at all, that is... I mean...  
We're still friends, at least. The question is, are we friends with benefits, just friends that have and awful amount of sexual tension going on, or girl-boy friends?

...

I think... I should stop thinking now. I mean... I'm just worrying myself needlessly, no answer will magically fall down from the sky to enlighten me. Even worse, it's taking my mind away from enjoying the walk back home with Undertaker, which was a terrible sin in and on itself.

I should probably ask Undertaker what the situation was, as he seemed to be the one leading this parade, but I should wait until after the funeral... I wouldn't want him to get angry with me for not understanding what is going on, especially if it lead to us spending the funeral fighting, making me unable to comfort him when he needed it most...  
Or maybe I'm just trying to delay the inevitable because I think this is too good to last and I'm a complete coward.

Yeah, that totally sounds like me.

I think I will drag on this sweet, sweet moment a little bit longer. Just in case it ends up crumbling before my eyes.

* * *

The shock wore off right in the middle of the funeral.

Between all these new happenings, -meaning Undertaker and I- all of it had somehow made me think this was way too good to be true. It made me think that this wasn't happening, that Vilvent hadn't died...  
It wasn't until the last casket was being covered with dirt that the full realization of what had really happened hit me like a truck, leaving me gasping for air.

Vilvent was dead... the twins are dead... The Panthomhives... are dead.

My stomach churned, unable to bear with everything, and I felt like I would puke right then and there. My heart was beating so loudly I couldn't hear anything besides the frantic beat of drums, like a very unfitting war song.

A whole family had died... the Phantomhives had died. The words were resonating in my head, but weren't gaining their rightful meaning, leaving me dizzy.  
I had given sweets to the youngest Panthomhive twin, and seen the twins run with that cute dog of theirs, carefree like only children can be.  
I had gushed over them like an idiot... and I would never be able to do it again, because they were gone.

Gone...

I dazedly looked around, seeing somber faces and tears coming from the heart all around me, until my eyes fell on the crying fiancé of one of the Panthomhive twins. She was crying her heart out, tears pouring like rivers down her pretty face.  
Why couldn't I cry like she was?

I felt horrible alright, but the tears simply refused to come, something in my head wasn't allowing me to pour my feelings out. It made no sense, I was a crybaby, I cried when I was stressed or frustrated without any problems.  
Why couldn't I cry now, when I had a good reason to?

My heart... felt strangely empty.

I put a hand over my heart, it hurt. Not in a: I'm-having-a-heart-attack kind of hurt. But the kind of hurt when you lose someone you knew, even if I hadn't known the Phantomhives that well... why did it hurt this much? And if it hurts this much, why can't I cry over their loss?

I stared dazedly at the recently buried graves, completely out of it, until a hand grasped mine, squeezing it lightly. I flinched at the unexpected touch, looking up at my side, Undertaker was eyeing me with soft eyes, wrapping his hand around mine, comforting me. Such an idiot, caring about me even when he was obviously more in need of comfort.

I felt my eyes get wet, but no tears fell, but I did relax slightly, which made me take notice of the fact I had been taut as a rope, so tense it hurt. His mere presence acted like a balm, soothing my hurt and frustration down to bearable levels.

"No one will say anything." He whispered softly, going unheard to other people's ears.  
For a second I was confused about the meaning behind his words. What was he talking about? Was he saying that no one would blame me for not crying? Something completely different? Or... that no one would blame me, if I cried?

I opened my mouth, I didn't know if to explain that my tears simply weren't coming, or to ask him to clarify. And I will never know, because at that moment a sob tore through me, interrupting me.  
I hadn't even understood them, but his words had unclogged my emotions, making me choke up. Ironic, but awfully true. I tried to hide my sniffles, but I had no delusions that the reaper may not have noticed them.

I tightened my hold on the hand that wasn't carrying his mute wand, drawing and giving comfort in equal amounts. His hand returned the gesture with equal strength.

Ah... the wand wasn't a magic wand. It was just a stick of sorts with cloth over it. It was one of these objects funeral mutes carried around.

I looked teary eyed at the graves we had dug up, not that long ago. They were now filled with the remains of what had been salvaged of the family.  
My heart gave a pang of pain at the thought, doubling the amount of tears pouring out of my eyes and leaving me gasping for air. My nose was getting clogged...

I wiped my tears and snot away. I really shouldn't cry so much, I hadn't known them so well...  
I was so confused. I didn't know if I should be crying or not. Everything I did just felt... wrong.

Undertaker had said that next to nothing had been recovered of the Phantomhives, he said the bodies burned down to ashes.  
That reminded me of something else I had wanted to talk to Undertaker about. I was aware he could sort-of-revive dead people.

He better not try with the Phantomhives.

I know that was something horrible to ask of him. He was obviously hurt by their deaths, but I was sure that making them into Bizarre Dolls wouldn't make his pain go away. It would only hurt him, and consequently me, more.  
It won't bring them back, at least not in the way they were before, I only wanted him to understand that.

I shook my head, wiping even more tears that didn't seem to want to stop. Now wasn't the moment to talk about something like that. Right now, was a time to cry for the ones that have been lost.

And so, I cried until I had no more tears to cry.

* * *

"Taker..." softly started, shyly looking at my feet.

"Yes~?" The reaper stopped on his tracks, turning to look at me. He had been sort-of-absent, since the funeral, so I had wanted to give him a bit more of time, before talking about this matter, but he kind of forced me to, as he had been about to go down the basement.  
And I knew for a fact that he didn't have any "guest" he should be treating, right now. That meant he was going to play with his dolls.

I sat on a coffin, softly patting the spot next to me, inviting him to join me wordlessly.  
He blinked, but complied, sitting next to me with a small frown, which probably meant he suspected I wanted to talk about something he wouldn't like. Or he was worried about me, both were equally likely.

I took a deep breath.  
Alright... first the "What-is-going-on-between-us" topic, or the "Please-don't-bring-Phantomhive-back-to-life" topic?  
Do I really need to talk about this at all? I mean... Yes, you can't be a coward about this, Dalia.

I was nibbling on my lips, thinking where I should start.  
I pondered the possibilities. If we talked about what was going on between us, and it ended badly... I doubted he would listen to me, about the other topic regarding the Zombies...  
But if we talked about the Phantomhive topic and it ended badly... the probabilities of the relationship topic ending well plummeted straight to hell.

I'm a filthy coward, so... I think I will go for the topic that doesn't directly affect me, but that still affects someone I care about.  
Phantomhive topic it is.

Alright, now that I have decided on where to start, how do I say it...?  
I obviously don't want to order him around or anything, I only wanted to make my suggestion, explain my reasoning and hear his opinion, that may either be crazy talk, or an awe inspiring advice that would convince me that what he was doing was obviously the right path.  
Sadly, Undertaker could be very convincing, and he was perfectly aware of the fact. I just hope he doesn't brainwash me… I have to become unmovable in my decision, to avoid that! Wait, no… In a conversation, if one doesn't listen to the other, then it will probably escalate into a discussion, and I definitely don't want that. I will have to trust that Undertaker is sensible enough to listen to me.

The aforementioned reaper was patiently waiting for me to find my words, which I was greatly appreciating, considering I was thinking a lot more about what I would _not_ say, rather than what I did have to say.

Alright... how do I bring this up...? If I 'casually' mentioned the dolls he would immediately suspect. I'm not very good at acting innocent when I obviously wasn't. Apparently.  
Maybe I should simply take the honest approach, as it usually worked the best, and I didn't have to think much beyond what I already felt. Right now I felt very worried, so I just had to say it.

I desperately searched for words that would convey how worried I was about him.  
As I was taking air to gather some courage, the words escaped my mouth before I could actually think them through. "Please, don't do anything reckless!" I blurted, before covering my mouth with my hands.

Argh! No, shut your trap, Dalia! This is not how I wanted to say it! Not only did I made it seem like I thought he was planning something horrible, but it also didn't really touch the subject I wanted to talk about.  
"Wait, scratch that!" I quickly backtracked, before realizing that I had just made it sound like I didn't care. "...well, no. Don't scratch that... I mean... don't do anything reckless... but that wasn't what I wanted to say... I mean..." I trailed off, embarrassed with my own clumsiness.

Goddamnit Dalia, learn to talk! Or at the very least think before you talk! Never mind the fact I have been thinking about what to say for at least a good ten minutes.  
Bless Undertaker's saint-like patience. He really is too good for me. I thought as I cried rivers, holding onto him, berating myself internally.

I sighed, calming down. I don't think I can say this tactfully at all. Let's forget tact and be concise.  
"Don't..." was I about to order him? No, I didn't want to start like that... I wanted to give him my reasons why I thought he shouldn't do it. I wasn't about to say what he could or couldn't do. "I mean... well...ah..." this is horrible. I'm downright pathetic. Someone, please hit me on the head, I beg of you.

Undertaker wasn't really helping, he was just smiling, looking at me with those soft eyes of his.

Argh! Forget about making a logically structured sentence! Words. Information.  
"You." The reaper blinked, pointing at himself with a foolish smile. "Bizarre Dolls." At this he blinked again, tilting his head to the side. "Phantomhive. NOT" His smile immediately faded, opening his mouth and eyes slightly.  
I felt horrible. He was hurting, and here I was, being... stupid!

His eyes turned sad again, but he made a halfhearted snicker, a pitiful attempt, if you ask me.  
"Their bodies burned completely, little Lia... I can't bring them back, without the body..."

I took his hand, frowning. "You know that, even if you had the body, you wouldn't get them back, right?" I softly asked. Undertaker was smart, but everyone could have a lapse of judgement.  
He eyed me sideways, saying nothing.

"Undertaker..." I started. "I don't like those Bizarre Dolls of yours, I won't lie. But... I'm not saying this because I don't like them. I'm saying this, because I think this will only hurt you further, so... please... don't." I ended up whispering, looking at his eyes and moving his hair aside so he couldn't hide behind his hair.

"Little Lia..." the reaper whispered, looking at me. I couldn't really say he was wearing a certain expression, more like... he had forgotten how to move his face to make expressions.

I rested my hand on his cheek, remorsefully looking down.  
"I know this is... terribly selfish to ask of me... and... I'm really sorry but... it really hurts me to see you sad and... I don't want you to be sad..." he leaned into my hand, closing his eyes. "Ah!" I realized I was ordering him again. "But that doesn't mean you can't be sad! I mean... just... don't make yourself sad." A small smile returned to the reaper's lips. "Ah... Well... I mean... I feel like... doing this will make you sad in the long run, so... that's why I'm asking you to stop... I mean... If you're sad please don't hide it from me... I... Uh... I... want to cheer you up and... I-I mean...I will... just shut up now." I rambled.  
I had wanted to apologize for asking something like this of him, but somewhere along the line, my words had descended into senseless sputtering.

One day, I will make myself a trophy. To honor my absolutely horrible social skills.  
At least my awkward inability to form words had cheered up the reaper, that was now smiling, and he even chuckled, brushing my hair. Well, more like messing it up with his hand.  
But the fact stood that Undertaker had seemed to not actually get angry, for asking this of him.

He seemed to sigh, fondly, before he raised a hand to cup my cheek, just like I had been doing, before my embarrassment won me over.  
"Little Lia, I know I can't bring Vincent and his family back." He started.

"I was just..." I tried to explain myself, but it wasn't necessary.

"I know dear, and I thank you..." At this his smile turned more teasing "you did give me quite a laugh, though~ hi hi hi~" he giggled.

At my pout, he decided to control his chuckles, before I took offense. I had been honestly worried for him.

"Little Lia, I am perfectly aware, that my bizarre dolls are little more than animals" He started solemnly.

"That's an insult to animals. Animals are smarter. And cuter" I interrupted, putting my five cents.

"Lia..." He chided, looking flatly at me, either for interrupting, or for my words.

"I'm just saying! It's true, you can't deny it" I defended myself.

The reaper sighed, poking my side as punishment.  
"I am aware that my experiments with the dolls won't bring anyone really back to life. Unlike my business partner..." at this he got a wry smile and produced the most cynical chuckle I heard from him yet.

Really, I'm sort of curious about this partner, now. This isn't the first time he has been mentioned.  
So far, I'm picturing as a poor fool trying to chew more than he reasonably could swallow. But seeing as I really didn't want to involve myself in that business, I would be left wondering.

"So... no zombi Phantomhive?" I made sure.

"Not if I have any say on it~" He answered.

"Well... you should have a say on it... so I guess not?" I pointed out.

"Good Lia~" He giggled, patting my head. Not for the first time, I felt like a dog.

But... I had been expecting him to fight more, actually.  
That seemed... way too easy...

Seeing my unconvinced face, he took out a key from one of his sleeves, putting it in my palm.  
What is this?  
"This is the key to the basement~" He totally read my mind.

Eh?

"I want you to have it~" He closed my hand around the key with his, smiling.

Eh...? Does that mean he will stop with his dolls? Altogether? Or just with Phantomhive?  
I mean... He said that he wouldn't mess with the recently decreased family, not that he would stop with his dolls... but then again, he did give me a key to the basement. What does that mean?! I need someone to translate this into plain English!  
I think I should take this as a gifted horse. Yeah.

…I'm... touched... He would give me this. It probably means a lot to him…

I teared up, launching myself at the reaper, crying rivers into his uniform.  
"Does that mean I don't have to heal the living dolls anymore...? Whaaaah" I asked while crying. If that key meant he was stopping with his dolls, it had to mean I didn't have to involve myself further, right?

I was crying relieved tears, and Undertaker knew that. He still decided to tease me.  
"Well, if you like it so much, I won't stop you~. Now you have the key to go there, after all~ hi hi hi~" He offered, giggling. I shook my head, still crying. Stupid old man... go bald, Undertaker.

I sighed contently into his chest, hiding the smile that was forming on my lips. Surprisingly, this had gone waaaay better than it had in my head.  
I was honestly expecting someone to raise their voice. Or at the very least for him to get angry.

It kind of gave me confidence to ask about _the other thing_.

"So..." I gathered courage, asking before I could think it through and make it awkward. "We're like... together, right?" I quickly asked, hiding my face on his chest while I did.

The reaper blinked, expression immediately turning into a mischievous one.  
"Yes~ we are~" He vaguely stated, tightening his arms around me.

"Well... I mean... like... _together..._ not like... in the same room, which we are, but... like... you know... I'm... just making sure... just in case..." I rambled with my face crimson and my hands moving back and forth without any goal in mind.

The white-haired reaper started gushing.  
"Aww~ I can't even tease you about this~ you're so cute little Lia~" he started kissing my cheeks, pulling at them, and brushing his nose against mine.

I... will guess that we are really... an item. Like... yeah.

I blushed bright red, just by thinking that. Seeing my blush, Undertaker kissed my red cheeks with even more fervor.

That didn't completely ease my worries, though.  
"So... the girl you liked..." what had happened to her? Did she even exist in the first place?

"Was you~" he started snickering.

...

...

Oh.

...

Well, now I feel stupid.

Seeing my face, Undertaker just started laughing harder, almost choking on his tears.

...

Now just wait a second!  
"Hey!" I quickly said, the indignation in my voice was probably what made the reaper stop laughing, looking at me confusedly.  
"Did you call me fat?" That would explain why he seemed to be trying to tease me with his words! That stupid old man...

The reaper blinked for a second. Then he restarted his laughter. This time even stronger. I think I heard Biscuit run to hide in the bedroom.  
"I'm NOT fat!" I spat. How dares he?

I mean... I know I'm not fat... but it still hurts to be called that. Especially from him.  
Not that Undertaker is fat, I didn't mean to imply that... I merely wanted to say, that...

Undertaker is important to me, and I don't want him calling me fat! He's not fat. And neither am I.  
Period.

I angrily eyed the reaper, who was rolling on the floor, as he had fallen off the coffin a while ago, and was now chocking on his breath on the shop floor.

...

He can go bald for all I care. Bastard.

Should I make something for dinner...? It's a bit early, but the day was taxing, and I honestly felt like calling it a day early.  
Mhmmm... Yes why not?

I went to the kitchen, deciding to make a syrup-covered bun. Syrup was Undertaker's last craze-craving. He puts the stuff into everything. I was getting sick of syrup covered pancakes every morning.  
I actually wouldn't mind syrup pancakes... if they weren't accompanied by syrup-something for lunch and syrup-something-else for dinner.  
I even caught him stuffing his face full of syrup, once. Just syrup. I don't know how he didn't die from so much sugar.

Getting the ingredients out, I heard Undertaker's footsteps behind me, watching me.

"Are you making something with syrup~?" He asked, peeking into what I was doing.  
I kind of was, but he didn't need to know that. He _had_ called me fat. He deserved to go without syrup for a while for being an idiot. Now if only I could actually deny him something…

"Maybe..." I sourly stated, glaring at anything but the reaper.

"Please~?" He pleaded, putting those cute puppy eyes that always made me weak.

"Mhmm..." Sadly, if I wasn't looking at him, the effect was halved. It still was pretty strong.

"Pretty please~?" He asked again, this time putting more effort in _sounding_ pathetic, rather than looking pathetic.

Taking out the pin-roller and the pot of syrup, I started making the dough for the bun. He didn't need to see more, to guess what I was making.  
"Thank you~ hi hi hi~" I blushed bright red, touching the cheek he had just kissed.

I grumbled something, not looking at the smug mortician by my side.

He was awfully cuddly... and kissy. Ever since I promised I would stay, he had become even more cuddly than usual, using any opportunity he found to kiss me.

I was… happy, I had decided to stay, even if the mere thought of Kim and kala sent a wave of shame through me. At least, I had made a decision. I had to remember to ask Tofu if there was any way I could send a message to Kim.  
But when I wasn't thinking of them, I was… really, _really_ happy. I felt... like I could take off the ground any moment now, and start flying.  
It wasn't a bad sensation, but everything just felt so new and nice, that I was a bit scared.  
But, how can I be scared, when Undertaker's arms wrap around me, in a protective embrace I could melt in?  
So any fear I had was quickly replaced with the feeling of being about to faint from happiness.  
It was... like eating that last cookie in the jar, it always felt sweeter. But unlike the last cookie, there's always more where that came from.

I put the dough in the oven and, after making sure Undertaker wasn't going to tinker in the kitchen while I wasn't looking, I ran upstairs to change.

My sheep pajamas were always very warm and comfy. Besides, it's not like Undertaker didn't know what I looked like in my pajamas.

After changing, I went downstairs, Undertaker had already closed the shop, and was now impatiently waiting next to the oven, like he could make it bake faster with the power of his stare. His gaze was powerful... but not _that_ powerful. At least he was keeping a respectful distance from the kitchen.  
Wouldn't want another "tentacle incident".

I shuddered. Definitely not.

Undertaker blinked at my pajamas, but didn't find it strange.  
"Calling it a day early?"

I nodded, smiling slightly at him, previous slight already forgotten.  
The day has been awfully taxing, and I would rather go to bed as soon as possible. Hence my pajamas.

Biscuit slowly peeked their head into the kitchen, warily looking at us both.  
"What did you do to Biscuit, by the way? They're terrified of you." I asked, wondering why the poor dog seemed so wary to get closer.

"Really~? Good, good~" He simply sang, going to sit in a chair.

"Taker..." I warned, glaring at the idiot prancing towards the table.

"Nothing much, dear~. Just taught it not to stick its muzzle into other people's business~ hi hi~" He simply giggled as he turned to look innocently at me.

Well, that's sounds ominous.  
"Poor Biscuit... Biscuit~ come here darling... I don't bite... come here sweetie..." I called, trying to be as non-threatening as possible.  
The reaper rumbled something I didn't catch, as Biscuit ran to me crying and whining, making it very difficult to hear anything but them.  
But I'm pretty sure he was complaining. That childish pout gave it away.

Biscuit hugged me, crying and rubbing their face against my stomach, their tail was moving with the strength of a whip. Their little hands had taken hold of my pajama shirt, dramatically crying into it.  
Children and animals were my weakness. I literally couldn't help myself when it came to Biscuit.  
I gushed over the cutest dog-child to step foot in this shop in the history of forever.

The Phantomhive twins... My smile immediately dimmed at the thought.  
I had tried to avoid thinking that they had died, too. They had been children... they, more than anyone else, deserved to live. They had barely begun their life and now... they were dead...  
They were truly dead.

I didn't want to think about it, it hurt too much.  
I had this horrible tendency... I always want to avoid thinking about sad things, until the dam bursts and I become a crying mess.  
It was cruel, but it was easier to think that Vilvent had died, who was older and had had a chance to live, than thinking I wouldn't see ever again the little kids I had played with.

I suspected that it was the opposite with Undertaker. He was more hurt by Vilvent's death than the twins' demise. He hadn't known the children that well, so it didn't hurt as much...  
Which didn't mean he wasn't hurt.

I was awoken from my deep thoughts by the reaper I had been thinking about.  
"The food is going to burn, dear~" He simply stated, but by the lack of a giggle I knew he had realized where had my thoughts strayed to.

I let go of Biscuit, who was attempting to cheer me back up with dog-kisses. Such a precious creature. If only those kisses didn't involve slobber…

I turned my attention to the oven, with a dog-child-barnacle attached to my hip. So cute.

" _[Gourmet Cooking] has leveled up by one_ "

I took the bun out, and once I deemed the bun as finished, I put them in a plate, adorning it with a bit of syrup over it. I also made some broth, because it was cold and I was getting sick of syrup.  
I took out the plate and three bowls... Well... two bowls and a beaker. We only owned two bowls.  
And, of course, Undertaker took the syrup pot, putting more syrup on one of the buns until it was covered in half the pot of syrup.

I sighed and shook my head as I sat on one of the only two chairs.  
I know I should nag Undertaker to buy more things to accommodate all of us, but... we were a pair of lazy idiots.  
Undertaker was getting the beaker, hopefully that would urge him to buy more bowls. And chairs. And more cups, our only one got destroyed. And we also needed more kitchen utensils, to cook... And forks, and knives and spoons, and glasses, and...

...

How have we been surviving with so little things? I smiled fondly at the reaper that was eating the rest of the syrup left in the pot with a spoon. Our only spoon in fact. The one I needed to eat the broth. Ass.  
What little we had was enough for us, though. I would drink the broth without spoon.

...  
But that didn't mean he wasn't going to get the beaker. Biscuit and I would get the bowls.  
That's what he gets. For being a stingy, lazy old man.

"What's with that smile, little Lia~? Did I do something funny~?" the reaper asked around a spoonful of syrup.

I snickered, saying nothing.

I served the food, Undertaker sitting on his chair, and I sat on the only other chair. Biscuit sat on my lap.  
Of course, Undertaker got the bun-filled syrup. It couldn't be called a syrup-covered bun anymore. That would imply that the food was more bun than syrup.

The atmosphere was surprisingly peaceful.  
Usually, eating was a true battlefield. Undertaker and Biscuit trying to steal each other's food, completely ignoring their own food.  
And once their food was gone, they would gang up on me, stealing all my food.

I suspected that this peace was due to... the Phantomhive incident. I think I was going to call it that from now on.

I had, more than once, caught Undertaker lost in his thoughts, looking forlornly at his ring or at thin air, since the incident.

I hoped...

He didn't really _talk_ about what he was thinking. He didn't tell stories of how Phantomhive and him met, or anything. He wasn't one to get stuck in the past, but he sometimes had a forlorn smile that told me he couldn't really get over it, at least not easily.

I wasn't sure if he would ever tell me what he was thinking of, but I wasn't worried.

Because I hoped.

I hoped he would be able to pull through. I knew he was strong, and not only in the literal sense, but... emotionally strong. While it was true he had broken down when he learned about Vincent's death, he had quickly picked up the pieces, building something new with them.  
I don't think I would be able to do the same. That took a strength which I knew I lacked.  
Undertaker was really something.

And I was willing to help him. I was willing to drag him through a swamp of sadness and despair, so he could reach the peaceful meadow on the other side.

Hey... that comparison was almost poetic. I'm a genius.

I went to take another sip of broth, when Biscuit suddenly jumped out of my lap, running to the door, barking like mad, and making me spill the contents of the bowl I had been drinking on myself.

Undertaker offered me a cloth to dry myself with, getting up to see what had made Biscuit bark like that.  
Very few people got that reaction out of the demon hound... like Vilvent...  
It couldn't be Vilvent, though... maybe it was Mr. Dimwit?

Undertaker glanced outside, telling me to stay inside after a beat. Then he left through the backyard door.

Maybe it wasn't Mr. Dimwit, after all. And that made me a bit nervous.

I looked at my wet pajamas. Great. Now what do I wear, to sleep?

...

I sighed at the wet pajamas.  
I guess I could use what I usually wear in summer. The sheep pajamas, while warm and good for winter, were a curse in summer. I had a... nightgown of sorts, very breezy and good for the hot weather. But this night I would be quite cold...  
Or maybe not. I do have two bedmates to keep me warm, after all.

Undertaker entered again, carrying a...

I gasped, widening my eyes as I ran to the reaper.

"Is she alive?!" I asked looking at her worriedly as he moved her a bit out of the way, silently telling me he didn't want me looking at her.

"I'm afraid her heart had already stopped when I got there~" I told me with soft eyes, as my own were unable to leave the poor body.

It was a dead woman, almost a girl, covered from head to toe in blood. From where I was, I could see a hole in her stomach, along with very nasty gashes around her body.

I quickly ran to the basement door, opening it for Undertaker.

He went in and down, with me following behind like a little duckling, as he left the body on the table.

Poor thing... What cold-blooded monster could do this?

Undertaker started working on the body right away, Biscuit had been sniffing at the dead girl, but didn't seem to have any animosity towards her. She was already dead.

I used Observe on the body, telling Undertaker what the skill showed me.

She was a prostitute... she had been young, too young to lead that kind of life... she still had money and valuables on her. It couldn't have been a theft, then.  
She had quite a few injuries, and the uterus was missing. The slash on her neck had been the first wound, and it had been the killing blow.

At least she hadn't suffered much.

"Are we calling the police?" I asked, as I silently apologized for not being able to do anything to save her.

"No." He stated seriously. "This is an Underworld business, they would only interfere... if only..." He mumbled, lost in thought.  
Underworld business...?

Then... Vilvent...  
"But... wasn't Vilv- eh...Vincent supposed to investigate those...?" I quietly asked, not knowing how would the reaper react.

The reaper froze there, looking blankly at the body.  
He stood like this for barely a second, then he kept treating the body like nothing happened.  
"We will just do our job... the Queen will probably send someone else to do her dirty work..." He frowned at the body as he sourly whispered this.

I would bet my right hand that Undertaker is blaming the Queen for Vilvent's death. If not, at the very least he can't stand the very thought of her, for other reasons unknown to me.

He kept treating our unexpected guest, when he was done verifying that she was indeed missing the uterus and that there was little else we could do for her, he let me heal the mutilated corpse.  
We would probably make her a simple coffin and burry her without much fuss.  
That or he would use the organs for his own experiments. Although I doubt he will with this one, as she is already lacking an organ, even if it is the uterus.

It didn't really matter. As long as he wasn't making a Bizarre Doll out of her, I would probably let him.  
I actually didn't have anything against him making dolls, as long as he was just doing it to people without family, and he wasn't doing it in an attempt to bring back someone he lost.

He did have a thing for experimentation, science in general, and biology in particular. Specifically anything involving death.  
He sometimes liked to act like a mad scientist. It was kind of adorable. And very, very creepy.

I didn't like the Zombies, and I would prefer if he didn't make them at all, but if he liked them so much, I wouldn't feel right, outright forcing him to stop... As long he used people who had no one that would miss them, and couldn't be horrified about their state, if they ever found out...  
People that no one would be hurt by, if they became monsters without self.  
I still didn't like it, but I had to compromise.

Although... now it doesn't matter anymore, as he had promised to stop making them, so... it was good. I sighed in relief at this.

He left the body aside to take care of tomorrow, taking the clothes the victim had been wearing.  
After an inspection, he stored them where I knew he put all clothes that would end up destroyed and recycled to use as something else. Like bandages for the eyes. The eyes were one of the first things to rot, so it was best to cover them to avoid hurting sensibilities. Especially if he had already removed them precisely to avoid the rotting problem.

He walked in front of me, leaving the basement. After a blink, I followed him out of the basement, then I went upstairs to change... again.

...

Seriously, we need another chair to eat in. That, or Biscuit will eat in Undertaker's lap until we get another chair!  
I blinked, thinking... or... I can be the one to sit in Undertaker's lap... No I can't do that! Dalia pervert!  
I was blushing a bright red, I was aware.

How come that, just by thinking these kind of things, I turn into a blushing mess of a person, my stomach starts making backflips, and my mouth dries, making me unable to talk?

Undertaker is a stupid old man, he should go bald. It's his fault, for being so...  
"Are you alright, dear~? You're red. Hi hi~" He giggled, looking over my shoulder at my red face.

He's a bastard and it's his fault! He's so... cute and sexy and creepy but funny and he's so gentle but firm and he makes the best cookies ever...  
I put my hands over my face, hiding my blush from the prying reaper, who was attempting to uncover my face so he could have a good look at it.  
"Go bald, Taker" I spat, refusing to show my face at him so he could laugh.

"What did I do~?" He whined, still trying to move my hands away from my face.  
Just being himself was enough. He was so...

I squealed, wanting nothing but get rid of these thoughts, and ran to the bed, hiding underneath the sheets, shivering when the wet pajama pressed against my skin. With all that ruckus, I had forgotten to change.

"What are you going to wear, little Lia~? Your clothes are wet..." The reaper asked, tilting hi head to the side as he dropped the subject of my red face. I peeked my head out of the bed "...not that I would mind..."He mumbled something under his breath, but I didn't quite catch it.  
I decided to ignore that in behalf of putting on my summer nightgown.

Biscuit ran up the stairs, standing in front of the bedroom, seemingly waiting for someone to give them the go ahead, looking at the reaper warily. I simply made a gesture to come inside, and the dog ran, jumping on the bed and wiggling until they were comfortable.

Once I had changed into clean clothes, I went to leave the wet pajamas aside. I would clean that tomorrow.  
Turning to the bed, I saw a white haired reaper, sitting on the bed, looking straight at me.

...

What?

He was looking at me with half lidded eyes, a wide smirk on his lips. He was resting his head on his hand, he looked like he had been enjoying a show, or something.  
But I had just been getting ready to bed...?

I... think I will ignore that. Yeah.  
That sounds like a good idea. Especially because he looked like he was a cat that just ate the canary, and I felt like I wouldn't like what had made him look like that. Especially because it looked like _I_ was the canary.

"It is in moments like these, that I regret not having my glasses..." He simply stated, like I should know what was going on in his mind.

Eh? "Why?" I wondered, confused.

"Because you're beautiful" he simply said, smirking wide. That made me turn into a deep scarlet color.  
He was being an embarrassing bastard. He was doing this on purpose, I'm sure.

"Scoot over" I grumbled, not looking at his face.

"Yes dear~ hi hi hi~" He giggled, doing as asked. He was snickering. I glared. Biscuit moved in place, impatiently waiting for us to get in our places, before they fell asleep like a log.

I crawled over Undertaker, laying between him and the quickly relaxing Biscuit.  
It wouldn't be long, before they fell asleep. And once asleep, Biscuit was really hard to wake up. Such a precious creature, at least they were well behaved, when they were asleep.

Undertaker hugged me from behind, his chest on my back, his arms around me.  
For once, he was warm. Warmer than I was, even. Which was good, because I was only in a nightgown, and I didn't want to be cold, tonight.  
I wiggled closer.

The reaper sighed near my ear, making me try to move my ear away. That _had_ tickled.  
Undertaker seemed to have caught on, but instead of keep doing the same to get back at me, for all those times I tickled him, he moved his face to my neck. Simply giggling that he had finally found a weak spot.  
Thank the stars he wasn't out for revenge.

I closed my eyes, lulled by Undertaker's deep breaths against my skin, and Biscuit's relaxed sigh.

"Good night... Taker..." I mumbled, comforted by the reaper's warmth and the security I felt in his arms.

"Good night... my love"


	26. Chapter 25

**Hello! I'm back from the dead! Here is the next chapter, hope you like it!**

 **guadadominguez4: Thanks for reviewing, it means a lot to me you take the time to read and comment every single chapter, thank you! I don't think Taker and Lia will ever stop being adorable, they are just so cute to write! Yep, that's definitely madam red, we're getting closer! Tofu is definitely up to something, althoughI don't think Dalia will catch up right now, too much excitement.**

 **Sorry if I worried you all, but I'm much better now! And here's a chapter to prove it!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler.** **Ask Yana Toboso.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Soon Christmas pounced on us, and we were ruefully unprepared.

The only preparations we had in place, had been made before... the incident. Afterwards, neither of us had put much thought into the quickly approaching festivity.

We weren't really celebrating. How could we celebrate anything, when Undertaker had lately been submerged into a pile of what seemed to be paperwork? _Undertaker didn't like paperwork.  
_ Which made me suspect that he was trying to investigate something.

I was certain it had to do with Phantomhive.  
It was that, or he was just throwing himself at the first distracting activity he found. He had been very clingy, after all.  
Not that I minded, I actually appreciated the attention.

Our spirits weren't really into preparing for the holiday.  
He had tried. He said something about life being too short to waste it on tears, and had attempted to decorate the shop.  
He had given up midway through, returning to his paperwork in a fit of anxiety. He was definitely looking into something.

We closed the shop all the same. But we didn't really do anything... Christmas-y

I managed to whip out two presents for Undertaker and Biscuit. Tofu also got a present, of course, but he liked everything I made for him. Even if he denied it fervently.  
He, too seemed distracted with something. I would feel kind of lonely, with everyone doing something secretly, if the reaper hadn't made it his life mission not to let me out of his sight.

I also managed to make a cake... it wasn't a Christmas cake, like the one Undertaker usually made, but I didn't know how to make one, and Undertaker was forbidden from cooking. I had worked with what I had.  
It wasn't a chocolate cake, of course. I wouldn't forgive myself if Biscuit ended up dying from chocolate poisoning.

Christmas was... subdued. We weren't really celebrating. It felt a bit like the time back when I didn't celebrate Christmas.  
We acknowledged the fact it was Christmas, but there was no point in preparing anything, when everyone is far too sad or busy mourning to actually enjoy the occasion.

After changing Biscuit into their pajamas and bringing them into bed, I went to look for the disappeared reaper.  
Biscuit wouldn't stay there forever, if we didn't join quickly.  
Fortunately, Biscuit was improving in the patience department. And it only helped that Biscuit had already fallen asleep.

I went downstairs, where I heard a catchy song being singed very off-key, although the singer didn't seem very concerned with keeping the pace of the song.

Surprisingly, I found Undertaker drinking his brain off, in the kitchen.  
And he was the one singing, when he wasn't drinking.

He was a horrible singer, but he seemed to be having the time of his life.

I pursed my lips, looking disapprovingly at the reaper.  
Not because he seemed to be enjoying himself, of course, he can sing whatever he wants. I was more concerned about the fact he seemed completely high.

"My humble self is the funeral home's undertaker~, and I humbly accept your request for service~.

I will provide a handmade coffin, just for you~, and you'll surely be satisfied with its comfort~." Not to mention his song was creepy as hell. What the hell is he thinking? Singing a song about... well, himself.

He was twirling and dancing a strange dance to a song I never heard of. At the very least he was having fun, I had been quite worried about him these last few days.

"In the big moment of your life's conclusion~, please allow my humble self to lend you a hand~.

I will paint it beautifully and lovably~." He kept singing, swinging his hips from side to side, jumping on coffins and throwing anything that stood in his way.

Until he noticed me.

He almost pounced on me, swinging me from side to side to the beat of that catchy, creepy song.  
"How fun~! How fun~! Being an undertaker is fun~!" He started singing again, as he twirled me in place. "Your body will be in my possession~." He smirked, bringing me closer to him. "There's no need to be troubled or distressed~, because you can always feel free to consult me~." No. I don't think anyone will consult him anything, if they see him singing off key and dancing on top of a coffin.

"Taker, if you keep singing you'll either run out of business... or become swarmed with job offers." And not in the sense that they will be impressed. Or... well. Yes, they will be so impressed they will suffer from a heart attack, swarming him with work.

I stared at him, but he didn't seem that concerned with going to sleep, if his attempt to take the beaker containing some kind of clear liquid that reeked of alcohol was any indication.

"Go to sleep Taker, you're drunk." I wasn't impressed. Not at all.

"Not yet, little Lia~" The reaper didn't seem that worried, though. He just kept giggling and drinking.

He then turned to me, offering me a beaker.  
I glared at it, then at the reaper, who had restarted his creepy song.

"Have some lukewarm black tea and freshly baked cookies~, and let's slowly and leisurely have a chat~.  
The price, is to give me the greatest laugh~." He giggled, offering me the cup and waiting for me to take it, like he was so sure that I would do it, that he only needed to wait.

I sighed, exasperated at his antics. Then I absently eyed the beaker in his hand, contemplating.  
These last few days, Undertaker has been... a bit scatterbrained, and very bipolar. One moment he was his normal cheery self, being creepy, like he was right now, then he suddenly gets all quiet and meditative, and the next moment he's tackling me to the ground, attacking me with kisses and cuddles like a damn octopus. He's just... jumping from one end of the spectrum to the other in a second's notice. It was a bit confusing, quite frustrating, and very worrying.

I sat on the coffin the reaper had been dancing on top of, dragging him down to sit next to me, where he rested his head against me, and practically using my body as a pillow for his.  
The ass was still singing, straight into my ear. He sounded like he was a breath away from bursting out laughing.

You know, after a while I'm starting to think he's not that bad... at least he's having fun. And I'm growing fond of his singing... as horrible as it is, it somehow... fits him. Creepy, strange, and it takes a while to get used to, but lovable and funny once he opens up a bit.

I smiled at the dork, before the reaper offered the beaker again, by shoving it in front of my face. I looked at the offered alcoholic beverage. It... wouldn't hurt to make him some company, right?  
He clearly needed it.

* * *

Somehow, Undertaker had managed to get Dalia to drink. At first she hadn't drank that much. At first being the key word. Somehow, a single sip had been enough to get her tipsy. And from there she didn't stop drinking.

He actually hadn't had any shady intentions, he had truly been of the belief that it would cheer her up, making her a bit more loose, like it did to him. She had been very worried about him, these last few days...

He would be lying if he said he didn't feel _a little bit_ guilty, even if he hadn't really forced her to drink. He hadn't known his little assistant would become... this, when drunk.

"Everything is bullshit!" She exclaimed, tears running down her face with worrying ease.

Dalia was a sad drunk.  
She was crying rivers and hugging him like he was a lifeline, her hands were turned into fists, grabbing onto his clothes like she feared he would leave when she wasn't looking.

"Come on, little Lia~ the world is never fair, but that's no reason to let it drag you down~" he attempted to cheer he up, without much success.

"No!" She almost shouted. Almost. "I'm a worthless scrap of a human being... and a useless piece of shit... I'm so stupid I couldn't find my own head even with a map and directions" she almost wailed, but a few laughs escaped her, as if she thought what she just said was very funny. It wasn't funny, and he should know, he was an expert on that department.

His little Lia was in the middle of a self-deprecating rant. And he had no idea on what to do. Normally, he could have dealt with that without much problem... But she was spilling a sob story about her parents being worthless scum.

"It took me until I was twelve years old to learn their given names... and even now, I'm still not sure what their job was. I know nothing about them..." after this her voice turned quiet, almost like she was saying this to herself. "They were strangers... They were strangers."

He blinked.  
After this, he wouldn't let his little Lia drink any alcoholic beverage. Ever.

"It's my fault... if I had been better, I could have gone to play with the other kids... but I wasn't the daughter she wanted, and she got angry... she's scary... I don't want to see her angry again... it hurts..." she spoke, completely unaware of where she was or why was she talking about this.

How had a single, innocent song degenerated into this?

Never ever, was he leaving her near a drink again.  
In fact, he was completely willing to throw all his alcohol out of the window, he would certainly miss the high it gave him, but if that meant he didn't have to see her like this again, it would have been worth it.  
He didn't need alcohol to be happy anymore.

"They forced me to learn horse riding... they said I liked it... but I didn't... I liked taking care of the horses, not riding them... but at least I met Kaito there... so I guess they were right, then? Of course... I'm always wrong..."

She sniffed pitifully, and even if she wasn't making much sense, it was enough to pull at his heartstrings.  
He attempted to hug her, but realized he was already doing that.

Alright, maybe he was a _little bit_ tipsy.

"I was so lonely... I was so scared... everything is always so dark in there... I had to sneak out at night... mother didn't like... I don't know... maybe she just didn't like _me_... she sometimes forgot to give me food... she didn't like it when I was outside my room... she didn't like to hear me, either... I once fell out of bed, when I was little... and I cried... she didn't care... she just wanted me to shut up... she put a lock outside my door... I had to leave through the window to sneak food from the kitchen... I'm scared of heights... I guess it's my fault. Good daughters don't sneak food. I wasn't good..."

She just kept sprouting more and more depressing happenings in her life, with an emotionless face, almost dazed.

He knew better than anyone that life wasn't sweet. It wasn't all roses and laughter.  
It still hurt, to know she had lived anything less than the perfect life he felt she deserved.

Apparently, his little Lia had had a good reason to dislike alcohol, after all. She was such a lightweight it wasn't even funny. In fact, he was never again accepting booze as payment for his mute services. No more alcohol in a mile radius of his shop. He would sneak into his neighbors' houses to steal and destroy their booze.

He looked at the beaker in his hand like it had personally offended him.

He blinked, realizing that sneaking into other people's houses might not be the best idea, after all. Maybe he should be satisfied with keeping a five foot radius around his assistant alcohol-free...

He was picking the wrong target, he knew. It wasn't the alcohol that bothered him, but all those stories Dalia kept vomiting like one narrates how they went to the market. He definitely wasn't going to let her go back to that dimension. Why would she ever want to go back, he couldn't understand. But he wasn't going to let her leave. Anyone trying to bring her back there would have to face a few pounds of angry reaper.  
He couldn't help but giggle at the thought.

Yes. That was a good plan~, although he should probably consult it with his not tipsy self, he made the best decisions... like getting drunk. That was a very good-

Wait, no. There was something horribly wrong with that thought.  
He squinted at absolutely nothing, thinking hard.  
No. If he hadn't decided to get drunk, Dalia wouldn't be sad. Getting drunk had been a horrible decision, why did he ever listen to his sober self? He made the worst decisions!

That's it. He was never again going to listen to his sober self, and he wasn't going to drink anymore. Nor sing!

Wait, no. He put a hand on his temple, warding off a headache.  
He was picking the wrong target again. Singing hadn't been at fault, he could still sing.  
In fact, he should sing again right now to prove that songs were innocent of any crime his sober self was attributing to them.

Yeah, he should do that.

Wait... what was he doing again?  
He felt his eyes widening to the size of oranges, surprised at his own lack of focus.

"Someone once stuck chew gum on my hair... and everyone said that I had been the one to do it. I don't even _like_ chew gum... well, I do... but no one ever bought me chew gum... I still remember that... the gum had been mint flavored... the type of gum I like less... it's too strong... I never liked mint chew gum... they had to cut my hair... I like long hair... not that mother liked my long hair... she was happy to cut my hair... no one believed me... and they laughed at me..."

Ah, Yeah. That.  
Maybe he did drink a little bit too much. Just a bit. Or maybe he just drank himself silly.  
Why had he decided to drink in the first place? Hadn't he said he wouldn't drink anymore? Or was that after he had already downed the first two bottles?

Why in hell had he decided to get drunk?  
Oh, yeah. He had been thinking about Vincent.

He proceeded to take the still half full beaker from Dalia's hand, downing it like it was water.

Much better.

Now that both her hands were free, she started intertwining her fingers through his hair, admiration in her eyes.  
"I love your hair... don't get chew gum on it... alright?" He blinked. Had they been talking about hair? They apparently had, as she leaned more into him, and started... smelling the hair? She was definitely out of it.  
And so was he, if he hadn't started reassuring her the moment she started talking ill of herself. Or... wait, he had already tried that, hadn't he? Maybe?

Booze is over, for both her and him. He was banning alcohol altogether from his life. What was he thinking? Impairing his senses to such an extent? He had to...  
Ah. Wait, no he didn't have to. Not anymore. He retired. Sort of.

She started brushing her cheek against his hair, and although he liked her so cuddly, he would actually prefer if she wasn't spewing sad stories while hugging him.  
It did kind of take away the beauty of the moment.

"Mother didn't like me calling her 'mom'... She said it was... too cutesy and that it was disgusting... I once asked if I could play... to act like I was a cat... she didn't let me... she said it was stupid..." she was mumbling. He tried to imagine her trying to act as a cat.  
The mental image was too cute for his old heart.

"Alright... party time is over, dear~ hi hi hi~... and so is alcohol for the next century at the very least..." he giggled. He shouldn't giggle, he would wake up his sober self~

Ugh. He felt some of the haze dissipate enough for him to realize this night wasn't going to end up any better that it already was... if that made sense...

Never again was he drinking so much. Or at all. This was it. He was quitting brandy, vodka and any form of alcoholic beverage he came across for the next fifty years.  
Which was more or less the time where his little Lia would die, and then he would wallow in his misery for a century or two, drinking himself to sleep. That sounds like a plan.

...that didn't mean he couldn't sneak a glass of wine, here and there, right...?

"Okay... sniff... this is the first party I have ever been to... does the Halloween ball count...?" She mumbled, thinking. "That had been job related... and at least here we sang... or you did... did we dance? Maybe we should... I would like that..." she blinked at absolutely nothing.

She suddenly sat up, like she had something very urgent to do. "Ah! No, I have been to a party before! It was a birthday party..." at this her excited face turned sad again. "Mine, I think... my parents invited their friends because I didn't have any... I was... three... or five..." he could swear he heard her whisper 'or ten' right after that, but she quickly continued with her story before he could actually gather enough brain cells to process that information. "mother cooked something... no, wait. That wasn't... no, it was... uh... cake... I couldn't eat any cake... because my mother and friends ate it all... maybe another party... uh... alone in my room... Uh... cookies..." her senseless mumbling descended into barely understandable whispers, until she went to quiet she simply kept narrating the story inside her mind, and he couldn't hear any more.

He backtracked on his previous train of thought. He wasn't drinking again, not even wine, at least not if she was in the same room.

"Can I get cookies... for my next birthday...?" She looked at him with tear-filled, hopeful eyes. How could he say no to that face?  
"You can get whatever you want, dear... I will give it to you... as for the cookies, why wait until your birthday~?" He softly conceded. He was weak for her sad puppy eyes.

She gave a small cheer. She was so precious.

He could now understand her hesitation, when talking about where she came from. He felt like he had somehow cheated into making her tell him about something very personal of hers. She always did her best not to pry into his past, when he wasn't willing to give it up.

Of course, this had been an accident, he hadn't known she would talk about her past, when drunk, but... the fact stood that he shouldn't have offered her that drink.  
He just hoped she didn't get too angry...

Although, she was quite cute when she was angry. That childish anger that they both knew wasn't serious.  
He didn't think he had seen her truly angry, yet.

The angriest he had ever seen her was when they met Zephyr for the first time, when he threatened Biscuit. Even then, she had been containing herself so much, that she became physically tired, when they got back home.  
Home...

He looked at the human in his lap, singing a song about ducks.  
A smile pulled upwards the corners of his mouth.

She had turned this old shop into a real home.

She looked at him with half lidded eyes. There was something... appealing, in those sad, sad eyes. He felt himself being drawn closer to her.

He kissed her slowly, tasting the alcohol in her mouth. She clumsily pressed her lips against his.

He pulled away, chuckling.

She was so adorable. He loved it all, from the awkward second she froze in embarrassment whenever he kissed her, to the clumsily uncertain way she attempted to kiss back. He loved the soft warmth of her lips, he loved the taste of her mouth, and the way she tightened her hold on him, like she would fall if she didn't.

He loved everything about her.  
Her kisses were far from perfect, but life wasn't perfect, and neither were they.  
It was somehow fitting, and he couldn't get enough of those imperfect kisses.

She yawned. She was so adorable, when she yawned.  
It was like seeing a sleepy child, rubbing her eyes tiredly, while denying any claims of tiredness.

"Let's go to bed~" he suggested. It was for the best. His little Lia was tired and he was getting more sober by the minute.

She turned to him with a very... curious expression.  
It was a mix between a judging gaze and badly hidden anticipation.  
"Are you going to do naughty things to me, in our bed?"

He knew he shouldn't, but almost choked on his own breath.

Well... that was... something.  
"No~" He sang, amused at the question. And a bit more than embarrassed at the blunt way Dalia asked the question.

"Why not?" She asked, eyebrows furrowing sulkily.

"Because you're drunk little Lia~" And so was he, a fact he shouldn't forget.

"Am I not appealing enough? Am I not sexy enough?" She pouted, angrily moving her hands around, bringing them over her hips bringing attention to them.  
His eyes followed the trail left by her hands, over her hips, up to her chest, and to her eyes, deliberately stopping on her neck on the way to her face. He couldn't help but admire the view.

Damn. He wasn't drunk enough to get away with this.

"That's not the problem here." He attempted to defend himself.

"So that's it, isn't it?" She exclaimed, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "I'm fat and not sexy and you don't want to throw me against the bed and make dirty, naughty things to me!" She wailed like a child who was denied more cookies.

"You're not fat, little Lia" he started, trying to justify himself. "And your physical appeal isn't a problem, believe me" while he said this, his eyes couldn't help but keep sneaking peeks at her chest and the soft skin of her lips.

If he looked low enough, he could make out a bit of her bare legs... he shook his head wildly. Too drunk to not help himself, but not drunk enough to actually forget why actually doing anything was a bad idea.  
Eyes up, old man. Now is not the moment.

"You said I was fat..." she accused softly.

"Did I, really~?" He sang, even if he already knew the answer.

"Yes... you said I was fat." She was pouting, her lips softly beckoning his own like a mermaid singing a love song.

"If I remember correctly, I said 'dense', not fat." He stated as a matter of fact, eyes glued to her lips.

"It's the same..." she softly protested, not realizing what she was doing to him.

"No it's not." He almost croaked. "I called you dense in a... hard of head kind of way" He blinked, thinking about what he just said. He just insulted her, didn't he?  
...was it wise to insult her to her face, even if she was drunk? Well, too late now.  
He should have picked his words better. He still had a lot to learn, when it came to not offending people. Surprisingly, that was something his little assistant was way better than him at.

The fact that he found terribly amusing the angry looks of the people he offended didn't motivate him to learn, though.

But he definitely didn't want to offend his little Lia.

"...so..." she started. "I'm not fat?" She asked uncertainly.  
He almost sighed in relief. Instead, he giggled. She hadn't picked up on the slight. Good.  
Next time he was choosing his words better.

"No, you're not~" He confirmed.  
She stood there, looking blankly at him, then a small, self-satisfied smirk slowly curved her lips upwards.

So adorable. She got all happy just with that.  
As she wrapped her arms around his torso, he tried to not pay too much attention to her breasts pressing against him.

Sadly, he couldn't help but take notice of her soft skin brushing with his own, the way she softly pressed her cheek against his neck, the comfortable, warm weight of her body on his, the way she sat on his lap, her bare legs lightly brushing his...  
Great, if things kept going this way, he would have _another_ problem to take care of, in his pants.

Did his little Lia enjoy his suffering?  
He shook his head. No, she was drunk and she wasn't thinking straight.

If anyone was at fault here, it was him. For making her drink.  
That was a mistake he was never repeating again.

Yep, it was his fault, he was the least drunk of the two, and even worse, he should be old enough to know how to control himself. Mind over matter and all that, right?  
Instead, he was being an idiot, acting like a young man seeing a pair of bare legs for the first time.

Taking the girl in his arms, he brought her upstairs, to the bed, deliberately leaving the annoying clown already complaining inside the white and pink coffin Dalia claimed as hers.

He didn't hide his self-satisfied smirk. Stupid clown.

He put the human girl on the bed. As she dazedly looked around, he quickly got into his pajamas, the ones his cute assistant made for him.  
It filled his old heart with an unexpected warmth, looking at everything she made for him.

Sitting on the bed, he heard the demon hound move a little in its spot. Dalia had probably taken it to bed a while ago.  
He pouted. That mutt better not decide to wake up.

His pout went away rather quickly, though, when he noticed a pair of arms snaking around his neck from behind. A soft, warm pair of lips started trailing kisses up his neck and to his ear.  
He shuddered in pleasure.

Alright... he had to stop her from getting any ideas. Although, he wouldn't mind carrying on another day, when she wasn't drunk...  
Why had he made her drink, again? The more he thought, the worse idea it seemed.

He did that a lot, when it came to her. He made quite a few rash decisions, when she was involved.  
She interfered in his normally wise decision-making, leaving him an irrational mess.

Like that promise with the dolls. While he hadn't _technically_ promised anything... Dalia thought he had implied it. And he didn't really want to lie to his little Lia... even if he didn't really want to stop with his dolls.  
He knew that his dolls were little more than animals, beings without self. He would never turn his important people into that, as beautiful as they were.

If he ever had to choose between his important people and his dolls, there wasn't a choice at all. He had already chosen a long time ago.

The only thing that annoyed him a bit about that situation, was the fact his little Lia had apparently decided to understand the meaning that she liked the best, which was... very foolish to do, and if he didn't care for her as much as he did, he would have let her realize her mistake on her own.

He did regret not trying to reach a middle ground, though. She might not see his dolls' beauty, yet, but that didn't mean they couldn't be useful. And... he did want to continue his research without risking breaking his not-quite-promise.  
He would talk to her. Later.

He understood that there were things that couldn't be gained back, once lost.  
Like a life. No matter whose life it was, life was precious and irreplaceable.  
And so was a lady's trust.

He didn't want to lose that.

The arms around his torso lowered to his abdomen, tickling him with her fingertips and dragging him out of his thoughts.

He would probably have exploded into a fit of laughter, if the Cookie-dog hadn't decided to interrupt.  
...By launching itself into his currently drunk assistant.

Apparently, the dog had woken up and realized no one else was actually even trying to sleep, and decided to correct that mistake.

The human fell without any resistance, letting the dog-cookie lick her face clean without barely twitching.

He nudged the dog aside and away from his little assistant, taking his usual place in the bed.

His little Lia didn't even stir.  
A closer look proved she was already out. Her peaceful face covered by saliva was particularly tempting.

He hugged her warm body, smiling softly at the absolutely adorable human he had fallen for.

"Cookies..." she mumbled.

He smiled.

* * *

The next day I was woken with the most terrible headache in the history of forever.

"Wha-rghh" I had attempted to talk, but my throat felt dry as sandpaper, and right now, I would do anything for a glass of water.

I was offered tea. I blinked at the tea in the floating beaker, dazed.  
A closer inspection revealed that the beaker wasn't floating, it was being held up by a hand.

...

Following the trail of the hand upwards, revealed a very familiar face, framed with silver hair.

"Hey..." I mumbled, exhausted.  
"Hi hi~ still up to doing 'naughty things in bed' with me~?" The reaper was smirking, playfully moving his pale eyebrows. How did he do that?

I blinked, actually listening to his words. Did I say that...? The words did sound vaguely familiar...

"Taker..." I have no idea what I had wanted to say, but I was unable to finish my sentence, as the reaper seemed to read my mind better than I.  
"Poor little Lia~..." Undertaker hugged me, silently apologizing. "Drink this, it will make you feel better" he offered me the tea in his hand. I took it, slowly sipping on it. The tea tasted... funny. Not like tea at all. But I drank anyways, I was thirsty.

"You made this...?" I softly asked, when I felt more confident my voice wouldn't crack.  
"Hi hi~ I have some knowledge about these things~" the reaper explained.

I sat on the bed, drinking the not-tea from the beaker. Finishing all the contents of the beaker, I tiredly rested my head on Undertaker's shoulder, who was sitting next to me on the side of bed.

I got my forehead kissed. It felt nice... being fussed over.

I'm not sure what I did last night, but I wouldn't mind doing it more often, if it makes Undertaker act like this.

Now again, considering Undertaker's words about "doing naughty things in bed" with him, it was probably for the best that I didn't remember. Better avoid a repeat of this.

I yawned.

Burying my face against Undertaker, I wondered if we really needed to open shop, today. We could just spend the whole day cuddling...

That was a really seductive option.

...

"Do we really have to open shop...?"  
"A lot of people freeze on the streets these days~ it wouldn't do to find our little shop closed, right~?" He attempted to convince me.

I whined. He was right. That didn't mean I had to like it.

I wiggled deeper into the sheets covering me. Hiding from the world. I'm not ready to face the world like an adult.

Call again later.

Undertaker, bless his heart, didn't drag me out of the covers, instead, he went downstairs to put the used beaker away... and to bring cookies to persuade me into getting out of bed.

Aww... how sweet.

Getting up, I drowsily put on my normal clothes, hissing at the light coming from the window and munching on a cookie I had been offered.  
My poor head...

Thankfully, the shop was dark and quiet.

I think I just discovered why some days Undertaker gets especially concerned with the "atmosphere of the shop". Although, I can't say I blame him.

...

Undertaker had to leave for an errand, leaving me in charge of the shop. Thankfully, we weren't really expecting a lot of people. The day was slow, and I got a chance to rest my poor head. The not-tea had definitely helped.

In fact, Undertaker left another beaker full of tea to drink from if I felt like it. Which I was currently doing. Apparently, when it came to tea, the reaper was quick in replacing the kettle... but not the teacups, nor anything else... dork.

Suddenly, the door of the shop opened, being immediately closed by a frantic reaper.  
Surprisingly, it wasn't the reaper I had expected.

Mr. Dimwit just entered the shop, blond hair looking ruffled, with a completely red face and wide eyes.

"What happened...?" Was the disbelieving question heard, after a few beats of silence.  
Surprisingly, he had been the one to ask that ask that, not me.  
Seeing as he himself didn't have an answer, I don't know how I could possibly help any.

I drank another sip of tea, blankly looking at the intruder. I'm too hungover to deal with this.

" _Your skill [Impervous] has leveled up by one!"_

Oh, hey. I had been looking for a way to level up this...

Right then, the shop door opened again, and a familiar white haired reaper came in, making Mr. Dimwit dazedly move aside.

I raised an eyebrow as I took another sip of tea, surprised.  
Mr. Dimwit wasn't attacking Undertaker? Something _really_ strange must have happened, then.

"Hi hi hi~ who do we have here~? Hi hi hi~ If it isn't Mr. Naughty~, hi hi~, Mr. Casanova~, Mr.-" Undertaker was playfully teasing the blond reaper with his words, although I'm not sure what all that is about.

"It was an accident! Please don't tattle on me! Do you know the report I would have to make? I'msorrypleaseIswearIwillleaveyoualoneforever!"

I looked between the two reapers, one smug with a knowing smirk, the other a step away from groveling.  
"What happened...?" I wondered aloud, mumbling as I took another sip.

"Nothing!" Mr. Dimwit quickly spat, whirling in my direction. The wide, confused eyes of the blond, stupid reaper shot straight to my heart, making me feel sorry for him.

"Oh~? Nothing much really~" Undertaker casually started. "... remember Mrs. Bloomers?"

Eh... Yes. How could I ever forget her? She wasn't very nice, I had returned her bloomers to her... and in exchange I got a very strange and quick lesson on... not talking about undergarments... or something.  
I nodded, as Mr. Dimwit cried in dismay.

Undertaker walked closer and, with an air of secrecy, he started stage-whispering to me, making sure Mr. Dimwit would _definitely_ hear him.  
"You wouldn't believe what I just saw~ ihi hi hi~ _Mr. Dimwit_ , hi hi~ leaving through Mrs. Bloomers' window, clothes ruffled and _lipstick_ on his mouth~" He sounded like a gossiping old witch, laughing from time to time, absolutely enjoying the dismayed face of the blond reaper. "Scandalous~!" He drawled out the word like he couldn't believe what the blond reaper did. I don't really get why that is any of our business.

Poor Mr. Dimwit, he looked like he himself was not sure about what happened. If anything, he looked scared.

I swatted Undertaker away.  
"Leave poor Mr. Dimwit alone, you mean old man." I attempted to defend the blond.

"Hey! My name is Julius!" Said blond spat.

"But it was so amusing~" Undertaker drawled, looking from the other reaper to me, considering. " _Mr. Dimwit_ looked so scared~ I had to tease him~ hi hi hi~"

"I have a name!" The man currently being ignored wailed.

"You're a very mean old man." I complained, trying to fight a smile. "You can't just laugh at other people's misfortune, even if it _is_ Mr. Dimwit."

"Heeey!" The subject being discussed shouted, trying to gain our attention.

"But _Mr. Dimwit_ has been annoying me so much~... Hi hi hi~ Don't I get to laugh a little at him~?" The old reaper got a very mean look in his eye, smirking. "I didn't do anything wrong~ hi hi~ _Mr. Dimwit_ got in that mess all on his own~"

Mr. Dimwit cried, running away from the shop, completely red-faced.

"Do you think that was mean of us? To tease him like that...?" I asked, feeling a little bit guilty.

"Hi hi hi~ That, Dalia dearest, is what I like to call comeuppance~" was the reaper's response.

...

"No." I denied. "That's just you being a cranky old man."

* * *

New Year passed by without any remarkable happenings.

Undertaker's mood had stabilized, settling for his usual goofy self, so long as the decreased family wasn't mentioned.

If we ignored the fact that Undertaker was absolutely unbearable, when it came to his cuddles, one could almost think that everything was slowly gravitating back to normal. The world was moving on.

"Dalia dearest~..." I glanced at the reaper. He was smiling, a red blush visible on his ears. "Do you want to go somewhere~?"

I looked at him, tilting my head to the side.  
"Where?" Did we have somewhere we needed to go?

"Maybe the park~... or eat somewhere... although maybe not that... I like your food better..." he started mumbling to himself, tapping a nail on his lip, contemplating our options.

...

I blinked. Wait, was this a date?

I blushed bright red.  
As if my own embarrassment was enough to wipe his own nervousness away, he smiled, hugging me and cooing at my red face, giggling like the old witch in disguise he was.

"I-I... I guess... I mean... ah... I... maybe? I mean..." I mumbled, embarrassed.  
I closed my mouth, preventing myself from putting my foot further into my mouth.  
The mortician started brushing his nose against mine, murmuring something about cuteness.

"Uh... so... What- what would we do...? I mean..." I trailed off, embarrassed.  
Uh... this would be my first date... what do people do, on dates?

"Mhmm~... hi hi~ we can go and pet a cat~ or we can go walk through the park~... or I can tell you scary stories until midnight~" Wait, was that really a normal date activity? "... so you get scared and I can hold you tight~"

...

"Why do you need to scare me, to hug me? Can't you just hug me?" I questioned confusedly.

He made a sound in the back of his throat, hugging me and pressing his lips against mine. "You're so precious~! Hi hi~" He breathed against me.

I blushed red.

I had to breathe deeply, when I got my lips back. Undertaker's kisses always left me breathless and kind of dazed.  
"Uh... Ah... so..." I stammered, dizzy.

"We can also go watch a play~" he kept suggesting. "or if you prefer, we can just make a picnic~"  
I... I have never gone to a picnic. What does one have to bring, to a picnic? I'm guessing food, drink and a blanket, but... just that, or something more?  
Oh. A basket, too. Of course.

"Ah..." I mumbled, still blushing.  
But, what about Biscuit, then? We can't just go eat somewhere else without them. "Hum... the-... I mean... I guess... uh..." My cheeks were so red, that I feared my face would explode. "If it's alright with you..." I stammered, a red mess, unable to look at the reaper's face. "I would like to... I don't know... just walk by your side... It doesn't matter where we're going." I trailed off, knowing it was silly and a probably stupid idea.

The reaper blinked, but the surprised expression was quickly replaced by that face I was getting quite used to seeing on him.  
That soft smile that always made my heart melt and turned my face scarlet without fail.

I put my hands in front of my face, hiding my blush.

I heard a chuckle, as a pair of arms softly enveloped my torso, bringing me closer to the owner of the arms.  
My heart felt... warm... and full. I was... happy.

I pressed my face against the reaper's chest. That felt... very good.

What had I done, to deserve being so happy?

"We can go walk in the snow, then~" a hand started weaving through my hair. "And then I can burrow you under a pile of snow~" He suggested.

"That's dangerous. I could die from hypothermia." I mumbled from my place in the reaper's hold.

"And then I would cuddle you until you got your warmth back~" he kept talking.

"That's a bit difficult, considering you're always cold" I said, if only to be contrary.

"And then we can make hot pot~" He kept going on, ignoring me.

"Isn't that a Chinese food? I don't know how to make hot pot..." I worried, not sure where this was going.

"I can teach you~" he said. So he _was_ listening to me.

"You're still forbidden from cooking" I quickly deadpanned.

"I'll tell you what to do, and you cook it, alright~?" He offered.

"I guess that's fine... how do you even know, how to make hot pot?" I asked, curious.

"And after we eat we can cuddle inside a coffin~" he went back to ignoring me. "...and we will kiss~..." at this his already wide smile widened even more, his cheeks blushing a deep pink. "...and if you want to, we can even do 'naughty things in bed'~... or a coffin~, wouldn't that be something~?" He wiggled in place almost giggling.  
I blushed bright red.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" I questioned, unable to keep my eyes on him for longer than a second.

"But I wanna do the naughty with you~" he protested teasingly, childishly moving his legs around.

"St-stop calling it that... you're mocking me..." I wailed, red faced.

"I would never~!" He made a mock offended face, giggling at my sullen face.

"Don't tease me..." I mumbled looking up at the reaper.

"Oh~?" He hummed, his face gaining a smug expression. "Would you prefer I call it se- oomph!" He wheezed, cut off.

"Nononono! I take it back! That's _more_ embarrassing!" I quickly backtracked, frantically moving my arms around, which made me accidentally give Undertaker a good whack in his stomach. He didn't seem angry, but I apologized anyways.  
I hadn't meant to actually hit him.

"Dalia..." Uh-oh... maybe he _was_ angry, after all... "it's not embarrassing, to talk about these things with someone you care about~" he snickered, wiping a line of drool off of his face. "In fact, it's very important we talk about these things~"

I thought about it. He was right, as always.

I couldn't just keep shying away from the topic forever.  
"Alright... then let's talk" I accepted.

"Now~?" The reaper blinked, without any specific expression on his face.

"Why not?" I questioned.

"Alright~" He agreed. "let's talk"

"..." I wait for him to start, not knowing what to say.

"..." He just stood there waiting for me.

"..." Seeing as he wasn't going to start, I tried to think what I was supposed to say, without much success.

"Delightful conversation, little Lia~. I have to say I'm impressed~" he finally sassed.

"I'm thinking, alright?!" I quickly answered, a bit frantic. "...Uh..." I pondered.

"It's alright little Lia~" The reaper finally said.

I looked up at him, he was smiling softly, his beautiful green eyes peeking between the locks of his hair.  
"Hi hi hi~ Life is not perfect, dear. I can't promise you everything will be perfect, but just like our first kiss, which was absolutely horrendous..." he mused under his breath.

"Hey. I resent that" I attempted to defend myself.

"...with practice~... LOTS of practice~..." The reaper kept teasing me more and more.

"Now you're really pushing it" I monotoned, flatly glaring at the reaper.

"... we will make it ours." He finally concluded. "Does that sound acceptable to you?"

Ours...

"I... I would like that very much." I smiled, happy.

"Argh! My poor heart~! You're so cute~!" He tackled me to the ground, giggling and rubbing his cheek against mine.  
I just blushed, not really minding the treatment.

* * *

I had been brushing and feeding Hercules, also known as the cutest donkey in existence, when an overexcited reaper ran out of the shop, all but screaming my name.

Is the shop burning? Did Biscuit eat someone? Did Tofu turn all his shoes into floating mustaches? Again?

Please don't let it be the last option. It was a real hell, convincing Tofu to turn the shoes back to their original form.

Hercules languidly raised his head to look at his approaching master, and away from my shoulder, where he had fallen asleep.  
Isn't he a cutie?

"Dalia!" I heard someone call behind me.  
I turned to the reaper, and was instantly enveloped in a hug. Once in his arms, Undertaker started twirling me around, my feet unable to touch the ground.

Uh... alright? Someone's happy. Very happy.

Stupid old man, he was using my smaller height to his advantage.

"Liaaaa~!" He giggled, a smile plastered on his face.

"What happened?" I asked, worried about this unexpected change of mood.

"Phantomhive!" He said this while smiling, which was... strange. That wouldn't be a topic that would cheer Undertaker up. At least not since... the accident.

"Uh..." how do I answer to this? Wasn't he supposed to be sad at the very mention of Vilvent?

"One of the Phantomhive twins has been seen in the hospital!" He explained, seeing my confused face. His mouth stopped smiling for a second, before returning to the previous position.

Wait weren't they dead?

...

Oh. My. Goodness.

I widened my eyes.

I jumped at the reaper. He was crying. But they weren't sad tears, at least most of them weren't.  
I was so surprised that I didn't even know what to say, so I just hugged him.

"At least... at least... still have..." Undertaker had put his head in the crook of my neck, muttering something I couldn't completely make out. I could still feel the tears.

"Taker..." I was crying myself. I was elated. Sad, because apparently only one of the twins had survived, but happy, that at least someone had survived at all.

"We will make sure... that Vincent's kid lives a very long life. Wouldn't want them to end up like their father, huh~?" Undertaker was still sad, that Vilvent was dead.  
But he wasn't the type to cry over spilled milk. And I agreed wholeheartedly with him. Vilvent may still be dead. But at least one of his sons is alive.

That just brings the topic of, how?  
"How...?" I decided to ask the only person that may know, as he had been the one to tell me the news in the first place.

"I'm still looking into it. There's was a rumor of a pair of twins being sold the night of the fire, but at the time, I had been too unfocused to look too much into it. They were bought very quickly, and covered their tracks..." he mumbled, whispering something else under his breath. "...And I was looking into the wrong information..." I still heard it, as he was breathing next to my face, it was very hard to miss anything.

A pair of twins... "So the other twin... May be alive?" I hopefully asked.

Who was the twin at the hospital, then?  
"I'm still looking at that... but from what I heard... there was a lot of dead people, the night that our little Phantomhive returned to us." He frowned at this, his mouth pulled slightly downwards.

...

Did he use his leverage over Mr. Dimwit to get that information? Because it sounds like it.

"Are we going to visit?" I really wanted to go visit the only remaining Phantomhive. Like... right now, to make sure he was okay, smother him in a hug, and maybe give him some cookies. He definitely needed them.

"Not right now~" he giggled at my excitement, which was quickly replaced with annoyance at what was said. I whined.

"Hi hi hi~ If I'm going to become a contact for yet another Phantomhive generation, there's a certain way to do things, little Lia~" he tried to explain himself, but I didn't really see the logic.

I grumbled. Stupid contacts. Stupid Underworld. Stupid Taker.

I hugged him again. Phantomhive was alive! It was only one of the twins... but it was something at least...

Poor kid... if he lost his brother... then he must be so lonely... and hurt... he just lost all of his family...

I cried against Undertaker, conflicted.  
I was happy. I was sad. I was excited, regretful and devastated.

And, over all of that...

I felt hopeful. Like we just found a small meadow in the middle of a swamp.


	27. Chapter 26

**Hey! New Chapter Tofu has quite an important conversation with Dalia, and only midway through did I realize the toy had screwed up, talking about something that had happened in one of the mutiple possible timelines that had been discarded. Instead of avoiding the subject, I knida decided to include it, revealing a bit more of what happened _that_ day.  
Also, there's a part where... uh... well, that's as dirty as I'm ever writing. No more. I was blushing so much the whole time that I got a headache from accumulated blood in my cheeks. The rest I will leave to your imagination. Sorry, I don't thing my heart could handle any more. **

**So... pulling a sheet over that obvious spoiler of this chapter, I will proceed to answer the reviews.**

 **Esper Mammon: It was really funny to write Undertaker drunk, poor Dalia was so depressing to write about, that I had to write their parts separatedly, as I ran the risk of mixing their moods, leading to Undertaker barely hearing what Dalia was saying. Thanks for your review, it means a lot when I get to read them, they make me very happy! I didn't read anything that felt insulting, so don't worry. I understand that you meant well, and besides, I didn't find anything wrong! Nothing to worry about!**

 **guadadominguez4: I'm so sorry! Then... perhaps I should advise you to take some tissues for this chapter...?  
Well, here is explained a bit of what is going on with that little's Tsundere's mind. The next chapter will actually reveal what he has been planning all along. Little Lia will definitely be sad, if Taker continues with his dolls, but not angry as she would be if he kept going behind her back, and they both know that. I hope the reaper talks to her soon, because that is a time bomb waiting to happen.  
I had honestly not thought of that. In my mind little Lia would still grow old and die of old age some day (if she even gets to die naturally), but your question certainly made me think. I don't think Dalia would have thought of that, but I'm sure Undertaker definitely has. I will probably include something takling that problem before we get to the Black Butler arc. **

**thetankgirl: Next chapter is here! And uh well, I won't spoil anything else, if I keep talking about the chapter you won't even need to read it! So my only comment is... have fun!**

 **Paige McCarthy: haha! Dalia and Taker are a ridiculously funny toghether. I don't think you will have much trouble with this chapter's killing moment. Thanks for reading this fic, it makes me very happy to see people enjoying it so much! Thanks!**

 **jj510: Dalia is like everything cute and awkward put toghether, I'm still amazed she turned out to be so cute, yet so frustratingly awkward. I don't think Taker will let Dalia near anything remotedly alcoholic for a good while. Here is the next chapter, ready to make you die of second had embarrassement!**

 **For everyone who hasn't voted what they would prefer yet, I will be closing the poll soon, but don't worry, you still have a bit of time before I do.**

 **And with this new chapter, I'm afraid I have to upp this story to M. I tried very hard not to, but... well, let's blame Taker shall we?**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Tofu wasn't happy.  
He had been grumpy for a while, but I had long since chalked it up to his overall personality.  
But lately, he was really, _really_ grumpy. As in, get-some-salve-for-those-burns kind of grumpy.  
He was usually a bit rough around the edges, but this was ridiculous.

"Why are you so angry?" I asked. The clown turned in my direction with an impressive bitch face, showing me this wasn't going to be easy at all.

"Why are you such an idiot?" Retorted the toy. I knew it, of course he won't make this easy for me, why did I expect any different?

"Why are you so mean to me?" I tried again.

"Why do you always decide to trust the shadiest people you meet?" The clown was being purposefully difficult.

"I don't trust shady people..." I mumbled, frowning.

"Yeah, because the mummy is obviously not shady at all." He sarcastically stated, rolling his eyes.

"Stop calling him a mummy." I defended the currently not present reaper.

"I only tell the truth. Would you rather I call him a pedophile?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"No" I still made sure, he could decide to call him that just to mess with the reaper.

"Then drop it" he snapped, grumbling to himself.

"Is that why you're angry?" I asked, not wanting to let go this easily.

"I said drop it." He growled, glaring daggers.

"I did. I stopped asking about your various nicknames for Undertaker and changed the subject to your strange, grumpy-er than usual mood." I smiled, knowing I had found a loophole.

"..." Yes I definitely won, his angry eyes cannot lie. It's either that, or he's not impressed, but since I'm the one deciphering his mood, I choose. And I chose to believe that he's totally impressed. Yep.

"So, why are you angry?" I tried again.

"You're more trouble than you're worth." The toy grumbled.

"You're angry because of me?" I asked, frowning.

"Yes!" He spat, looking at anything but me.

"Why?" I asked, not knowing why he didn't want to look at me.

"You're frustrating!" He said.

"What did I do?" I whined confusedly at the clown.

Tofu sat on one the kitchen table, while I had taken one of the only two chairs.

"Weren't you listening to me?!" The clown threw its arms over its head, exasperated.

"Yes, but you don't make sense" I said, not understanding why he was like this.

" _I_ don't make sense?!" He asked, more than a bit offended, like I said something outrageous, which I didn't.

"No" I stated. It really should be obvious, I'm not the one throwin a tantrum for unknown reasons I refuse to share. My tantrums usually involve cookies.

"YOU don't make sense!" He yelled, rudely pointing a finger at my face.

"Me? Why?" I blinked.

"Why don't you make sense? How would I know your stupid human motivations? I don't care, either way." He grumbled, turning away from me in an attempt to end this conversation.

"But you're angry" I pointed out.

"Argh! Drop it already!" He wailed.

Had I offended the clown? He seemed frustrated... but I hadn't done anything particularly frustrating lately... right?

"Come on... Tofu... why don't you tell me what is it? If I don't know what made you angry, how can I fix it?"

"Urgh! I'm just stressed because I'm trying to do something and it's not working! And I wouldn't even have to do it if you..." He started, pointing at me again like that was enough to understand everything, leaving the sentence hanging in the air.

"Tell me, and I will try to fix it..." I offered. I still didn't quite get why I'm the one at fault here, but if I can do anything to help…

"You won't fix it, even if you knew" he grumbled, sullenly glaring at the kitchen door.

"Try me." I attempted to convince him.

"No. And stop eavesdropping you stupid mummy" he spat towards the door, glaring at the white head that came out of it.

"That's your opinion, be careful with opinions~" said head stated, playfully wagging a finger in the clown's direction.

The head, which happened to be Undertaker's, came strolling from the front shop and into the kitchen - _followed by his body, of course_ \- like he owned the place, which he did. He went directly upstairs, not even stopping while he talked.  
"And _I_ was _not_ eavesdropping~" he finally stated, disappearing upstairs, as Tofu fell silent.

No one said anything, and eventually, Undertaker came back down, and went directly down the basement. Probably to work... or do his funky experimentation.

Tofu didn't say anything, even when the reaper wasn't nearby anymore.

I took the initiative.

"So?" I tried again.

"So what?" The clown asked, playing dumb.

"Are you going to tell me?" I asked.

"No" he just glared.

I sighed. The toy was being really difficult.  
"Why are you making this so complicated?" I asked, tired with the clown's elusiveness.

"Why don't you drop the subject so things stop being complicated?" He retorted again, not missing a beat.

"Because you're angry" I explained.

"Yes, and this conversation isn't helping my mood any" he quickly shot back.

"I want to help you..." I pleaded.

"And I want to help _you_... but you're not letting me" he finally exploded, turning to me and shouting in my direction.

"..." I just stood there, surprised at his words. The clown also looked like he hadn't exactly planned to shout that, and seemed to be regretting it.  
He wanted to help me... Tofu… a smile slowly pulled my lips upwards.

"Forget I said that..." He quickly glared, looking away.

"I won't" I calmly stated, smiling at the clown. He might act grumpy, but he's actually nice. That's cute.

"Forget it. Or I will make you forget." He threatened.

"You won't." I wasn't scared at all, the clown was trying so hard to seem strong, but he was just like a kid throwing a tantrum.

"Why are you so sure? I did it before." He haughtily shot back, looking down at me.

Tofu was so cute, he tried to seem aloof and independent, but he was just like a kid, wanting attention and love, despite denying it fervently. He would never erase my memories, even if he already did it bef-...

I processed the words again.

...

"Wait what?" I quickly asked, eyes widening when his words suddenly gained their whole meaning.

Tofu looked like he only now realized what he said, and panicked.

"...Oops" he just stated, looking up at me like he expected me to start breathing fire.

"Tofu...?" I asked, about ready to start breathing fire like an angry dragon.

"...yes?" He attempted to play dumb.

"Is there something I should know?" I gave him a chance to come clean.

"...no?" He asked, looking like he wasn't sure if he should open his mouth.

"..." I waited.

"..." he looked to be on the verge of breaking down, sweating bullets.

"..." I kept waiting, knowing it was a matter of time.

"I... might or might not have tampered with your memories a bit... just some details..." he finally offered hesitantly.

"Tofu" I blankly stated.

"What?!" He defensively shot, looking ready to bolt.

"What did you do?" I glared.

"...remember dying?" He offered.

"Sort of" I answered, still glaring.

"Remember what happened afterwards?"

"The day the time reset?" I wanted to make sure. I had died again, afterwards.

"Yes." He went silent for a while. "Well, technically that day... didn't happen."

"What do you mean it didn't happen?!" I raised my voice a bit, eyes wide.

"Well, no. It _did_ happen, of course." He retracted. "Just... not the way you may think..." he mumbled, not looking at me.

"Tofu...?" I warned him, and the toy quickly explained.

"I _might_ have created an illusion around your house... and sort of rearranged the house a bit... and kind of erased your parents..." he whispered, less and less confident with every word he spoke.

"What?!" I exclaimed. I looked away, putting my hands on my head to ward off a headache, having trouble processing everything so fast.

"Well, if you got so angry because of that, I can't imagine what you will do when I tell you I changed your memories to make you believe that you and Kim lived together..." he mumbled, I snapped my head towards the clown again. I heard a 'oops', he probably didn't want me to hear that.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Of course, I had heard perfectly, I just wanted to make sure that the clown wasn't pulling my leg or anything. The only reason I wasn't panicking was probably the Gamer's mind thingy.

"It was for your own good! How else was I supposed to make you believe that class was cancelled?!" He tried to defend himself, only digging his grave deeper.

"You mean _it wasn't_ cancelled?!" By this point it wasn't even funny, Tofu's castle of lies was threatening to crush us both.

"Uh..." He mumbled, unsure if he should actually keep talking, seeing as he only made it worse.

"Tofu explain right now" I wasn't about to let him walk away like that.

"Well... I sort of created an illusion... to make you believe that there wasn't class at University, so you wouldn't leave and die again the exact same way..."

"So, you mean... I SKIPPED CLASS?!"

"Why so angry, it's not like it matters anymore!" He cried, panicking at my anger.

"I can't believe it!" I excavated, beyond furious. Well, I actually _could_ believe it, the nerve of that clown! My education! My studies! My perfect attendance score!

I skipped a class!  
And, well... Kim, of course. That's also important... and everything else!

"What the hell Tofu?!" I demanded, turning to the clown again after pacing around the room like a caged lion.

"I _had_ to!" Was his only defense. He looked ready to resent time to avoid this conversation altogether.

"You _had_ to meddle in Kim and I's friendship?!"

"Come on! It's not like I actually forced you two to be friends... just made an illusion of her to live with you for a day or so..." he attempted to defend himself, grumbling in my direction.

"You mean it wasn't even her?!"

"Well, no." He said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's way cheaper to make an illusion of her and change your memories than it is to change _everyone's_ memories or reality itself." At this my growing headache gave a painful pang, making me sour at this discovery. More than I already was, of course.

"So you were being a cheapskate!" I accused. By this point I was gripping my head like it was going to explode any second, I didn't like to get angry, it gave me headaches, but it was really hard to keep one's cool when faced with _this_. I think I'm already doing a great job not banging my already hurting head against a wall or something.

"Well, it's not like it's so surprising. It had the job done, and was much more energy-friendly than messing with reality, so of course I choose that option. Just like with the cancelled class thing. Why would I bother closing the school when I can just _make you believe_ it closed?"

"I still can't believe I skipped a class..." I mumbled, resting my head on the table and wailing.

The toy was silent while I wallowed in my misery, wailing internally.

"Does that mean..." I tried to ask, but I didn't know what that meant, so I simply changed my question. "What happened to Kim?" I asked, looking at the clown. He seemed to have calmed down, when he saw me collapse from exhaustion. Getting angry was too draining, definitely not for me.

"She's with her family, I guess" he shrugged, not really caring.

"You guess?" I pressed, I wanted that information!

"I'm not that interested in what she's doing, really. You give me enough trouble as it is." He just mumbled, more relaxed than at the beginning of this.

"What does everyone think, that I disappeared?" I mumbled, thinking about the possibilities.

"I sent an illusion to class. She did exactly as you did the first time you died, just in case Zephyr was looking and noticed." He simply explained.

"..." I just blinked at the clown, lost as to the meaning behind those words.

"So... you're dead, as long as everyone knows." He spelled it out for me, glaring in my direction.

"Great" I deadpanned, beyond done. I think I lost all motivation to get angry, it hurt and it didn't help any.

...

All of this is a clusterfuck of first magnitude.

My head is hurting.

I sighed, thinking despite the constant pain in my temples.  
He had said he wanted to help me and, so far, everything he did was more or less to protect both me and himself. More or less.  
He had been a selfish cheapskate and a total ass, but we were both alive! So I was inclined to believe that he only had our best interests at heart.  
Even if what he did was a dick move of epic proportions.

"So... you're... not angry...?" He finally tried, looking up at me.

The fact that he sounded so uncertain pulled at my heartstrings, making me unable to stay mad at him.

"No" I softened at his confusion, he did look a bit relieved, even if he seemed to have trouble believing me.

"Why?" He asked, looking like he didn't believe a word I was saying. Despite this, I smiled. What an idiot.

"Because you're not bad" I told him without a shadow of a doubt.

All of what he did was for our safety. Or At least that's what he thought, so it would be quite ungrateful of me to be mad at him because of that.  
Although, I'm sure he could at least have done things a bit... well, what is done is done.  
We can't change the past. Even if Tofu can fool with it for a while.

The clown grumbled, saying something about me being too trusting and stupid.

...

I haven't forgotten the original topic of our conversation. Even if it took me a while to remember.

"So... how can I help?" I attempted again. He said he was stressed, and while I believed him, I don't think that's all there is to his sour mood.  
The clown sighed, but did finally start telling me what had made him so grumpy… Well, _more_ than usual. Maybe because he felt guilty. I _hope_ he felt guilty, because he was. Even if I wasn't going to hold it against him.

It wasn't a deep, heart-wrenching tale about how he was doing this for my own good. Because I wouldn't believe it at all, not after what I discovered.  
But at least it wasn't a cheap story so obviously fake that no one could actually fall for it, either. And it wasn't a rant complaining about what had ruffled his feathers that day, either. It didn't work the first time, it definitely wasn't going to work the third time I asked. He had managed to avoid my prying for a week, but I wasn't going to allow this to go any further.

Tofu wasn't really like that. He _was_ grumpy, but this was ridiculous. Not like him at all.  
In fact, I got a very Tofu-like explanation: a derision-filled sentence that was more an insult than a sentence, but if you actually listened to what he said, you could find that he did, in fact, care.

"The mummy is a dick and he's going to hurt you" he tersely accused.

I blinked.

"Why?" I asked

"Why is he a dick or why is he going to hurt you?" He sarcastically asked. At least that sounded like sarcasm, to me... although I guess it is a good question, so I will answer anyways.

I was silent, thinking my response.

"Both?" I finally asked, unsure of what I wanted.

"Was that a question or a statement?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Statement?" I asked.

"..." He made a face.

"Statement" I said, a bit more confidently. Just a tiny bit.

"..." he didn't seem very impressed, at my shaky conviction.

"Question?" I tried.

"..." at this his face soured, glaring at me.

"Question." I tried, not sure what he wanted of me, I had tried every combination possible! Unless he wanted a third- uh… fifth option.  
The clown rolled its eyes, deciding to drop it, which was good, because I was out of ideas.

"He is... he is going to hurt you. He wants to steal you away from me..." the toy frowned, and I got a bit closer, listening attentively. "He's... he's a liar. And selfish. He will only hurt you, use you, and dump you like trash when he's done with you."

Tofu... had no reason to think that Taker would do that. Unless... "Is that what happened to you?" I softly asked, looking at the pensive clown.

Said clown startled, quickly shutting doors that I hadn't realized were open.  
"Of course not! You stupid human! No one dumps me ever. _I_ am the one to dump my stupid masters, and if you're not careful, I will dump you too. I don't need anyone, unlike you" he quickly spat, looking away, denying it way too quickly.

Tofu... had he... been abandoned by his previous masters?

I tried to remember if Tofu had mentioned how he arrived to my dimension.

I only remember he said something about sharing interests with Zach, and the diary did say that 'the artifact was no longer in their possession' when he discovered that it wasn't a mundane object.

Could it be... that Zephyr had discarded Tofu, after he got his powers? Not realizing until later that toy he had thrown away was actually the very reason he had gained those powers in the first place...?

"Tofu..." I whispered.

"Drop it" was the answer I got.

I kept quiet.

I petted the toy, which he seemed to appreciate. He closed his eyes, happily letting the conversation die.

"I won't ever leave you, Tofu" I promised, looking straight at him.  
I wasn't graced with a response, but it was fine. I know he had heard.

Tofu thought that Undertaker was going to steal me away from him...  
I couldn't help but smile. What a silly thought. That didn't change the fact that Tofu was very, very jealous.  
Undertaker wasn't really going to hurt me. And I was sure that Tofu also knew that, it was probably the reason why he hadn't done anything, instead moping around the shop.

"Undertaker won't hurt me" I told him, surprised at how sure I sounded saying that.

"How do you know?" He grumbled, still looking away from me.

"Because... I know he's not bad" I repeated the words that I had previously spoken, still smiling at the clown, who turned his head to stare at me.

It was a long staredown, but after a long minute, the toy relented, giving a defeated sigh.

"He is still hiding things from you" he warned, sulking by a corner.

"I know" I said, smiling because the toy also hid things from me, he wasn't really one to talk.

"Lots of things" he added.

"I know" I simply repeated, nonplussed at the toy's pitiful attempts.

"Very-important, lots of things" he glared, daring me with his eyes.

"I know" I repeated, as sure as the first time around, not looking away from the toy.

A sigh was the clown's response, as he glared at thin air. "Whatever" He finally grumbled, giving up.

I hugged the clown, he fought a bit, weakly trying to resist, but I saw right through him. He actually enjoyed it, he wasn't fighting that hard.

We were in silence for a while, until Taker crawled out of the basement, creepy grin on and giggling like mad.

I'm not sure if I want to know what got him so happy.

"Go away, you mummy, we were perfectly fine without you." The clown growled at the mortician's arrival, still in trapped in my hug.

"Tofu... we talked about this" I softly chastised.

"No we didn't" he glared at the reaper, hugging me tightly and possessively, like he thought the mortician was going to steal me right then and there.

"It was _implied_ " I drilled my stare at the clown's head, but he ignored me. He just had eyes for the reaper.

"I never implied that I would agree to your terms" he completely ignored me, only glaring at the reaper and tightening his hold on what he could grab of my arm.

"Yes you did" I insisted.

"I'm thinking of selling some organs and buy a bigger table~" Was the casual remark that came from the doorway.

"No I didn't. It's all part of your silly imagination." The clown answered me, ignoring the last statement.

"Wait a second; what?" I turned to Undertaker, who had clapped his hands in celebration, giggling.  
Did he just say he was going to sell his own organs? Or the organs of his guests? That might seem like a stupid question, but once you think about it, it's quite important.

"Ah. And here I thought you were ignoring me. Good good~" The reaper was smirking apparently having no reason to say what he said but to grab my attention, which it did.

"Shut up you mummy. Go do your undead-mummy things." The clown spat, not happy with having my attention stolen.

"Tofu!" I chastised at the clown, afterwards looking at the reaper's direction. "And... I wasn't ignoring you, Taker. Tofu is just being difficult..." I mumbled, confused why everyone seemed to be fighting for a slice of my attention. .

"I'm being difficult?!" the clown yelled, exasperated. "Bah! You know what? Don't care. Do whatever." He grumbled. With this said, the toy immediately dropped limp, like all of his strings had been cut, and for all effects he looked like a normal toy clown.  
Well. Tofu was apparently out of this conversation.

"So... hey. Bigger table? I think there are far more concerning things to buy. Like another chair. Another teacup. Knives, forks, spoons... actual cutlery, you know?" I started mumbling. That ass better not forget on whose lap does Biscuit eat every meal.

"Did I hit a sore spot?" The mortician giggled, happy beyond belief.

"Your face is a sore spot" I grumbled.

"What did my face ever do to you~?" He whined, poking my cheek with his long nails.

...

It was way too cute.

"It has a very punch-able ring to it" I grumbled, looking away from the reaper and his poking finger. Maybe Tofu was rubbing off on me.

"Ouch" The reaper falsely said, leaning towards me, attempting to trap me.

"Actually, it doesn't." Seeing his intention, I just started nervously rambling. "It's just your personality: it's awful. Makes people want to punch you" I looked for an escape, but there was none.

The reaper wheezed, barely restraining himself. "Woah. That was so gratuitous~" He was smiling wide, knowing I was just running my mouth because I was nervous, walking even closer like a freaking predator, barely containing his laughter. He wrapped his arms around me in a hug, softly brushing his nose against mine, making me turn red. At least it felt nice, even if I felt like hiding my face forever. I did exactly that, hiding my face in his chest.

I breathed in, enjoying his scent and the calming effect it had on me. Why was I nervous in the first place?

The mortician slowly walked around me, reminding me of a lion circling his prey before poncing, and I remembered why I was so nervous. I left a shiver when he stopped right behind me, wrapping his arms around me again.

I put a hand over his, as he stood behind me, enveloping me, his torso pressed against my back.

I closed my eyes, simply enjoying the moment, and trying not to think about _anything_.

A hand slowly crawled up my arm and to my neck, brushing my blushing cheeks.  
He pressed his lips against my neck, making me sigh.

I'm not thinking. I'mnotthinking I'mnotthinking _I'mnotthinkingI'mnotthinking!_

I held onto his hand on my cheek with my only hand, while his own free hand slowly crawled down my stomach to...

"You know, just because I act like I'm a toy, doesn't mean I can't, or want, to see you two getting frisky." A voice was heard right beneath me.

I immediately jerked away, completely red-faced, my eyes zeroed on Tofu, who was still in my arms, looking like wanted to shot himself.

"T-T-Tofu!" I nervously stuttered, his unimpressed face staring right at me with judging eyes. I wailed internally, how could I have forgotten the toy was right in my arms?! I had been hugging him not even ten minutes ago!

"At least have the decency to not put this show while I'm still here, I would rather not have to see this." He glared at both of us, looking like he was blaming me for this. I did nothing…!

"Then maybe you should have kept your trap and eyes shut~" The mortician smirked, pulling me closer again and consequently, the clown too.

"Taker!" I chastised the reaper. It wasn't Tofu's fault! I don't know what I would have done if our places were exchanged.

"Well, maybe you should keep your pants on, you mummy." The toy glared up at the reaper, who by the way, still had his pants, so I don't really get what he's trying to say.

"Tofu!" I still reprimanded him, this conversation was going to hell pretty fast.

"Well, this dispute has a very simple solution, actually." He gave the trash can a very long and meaningful look, conveying his thoughts more clearly than any words could: Tofu should jump in there. Or something like that.

I put my head in my hands, done with the both of them. My head still hurt, too.  
While I tried to drown in my own embarrassment, my other two companions kept exchanging insults with varying degrees of sass.

My blush from embarrassment turned to one of frustration. These two…  
"SIT!" I shouted, pointing at the floor near my feet like I used to do with my dog. My eyes was twitching uncontrollably and my head was numb from pain.

The mortician's rear touched the nearest chair before I had even stopped shouting, looking like he just saw a ghost. He didn't open his mouth, but his eyes were wide.

Tofu was already standing on the table, but still let himself drop on his ass. Slowly, as if testing how serious I was being.  
I glared at him until the toy was sitting on the table.

I breathed in, trying to calm myself, and keep away the headache. Why me?  
No one said anything.

"Well that was scary." I heard someone say next to me, almost whispering, but as I had my eyes closed, I wasn't sure who had been the one to make that remark. I was suspecting the reaper.  
I sent both of them a glare.

"Alright, this has to end now. You two are not going anywhere until you make up." I finally stated. These two idiots cannot keep like this, they are going to kill me.

"Does that involve a kiss~?" The reaper smirked, teasingly batting his eyelashes.

" _Yes_ " I stated, not amused at all.

The mortician seemed to immediately regret his words, as his eyes widened and a grimace seemed to overtake his mouth, replacing his smirk.  
"Nice job screwing us up, mummy. Sentence of the year" The clown sassed, glaring at the reaper who didn't seem very happy either.

" _And a hug_ " I added. The more they struggle, the worse they will have it.

Undertaker seemed ready to chew Tofu up for that, but thought better of it. Smart move.  
On his part Tofu seemed like he would rather tear his own eyes out than do as actually told.  
"You can't make me!" The clown's outburst was completely unappreciated. So, I glared at him, my temples throbbing in pain.

"Try me" I whispered with all the heat I could put into a single sentence, which was quite a lot. My headache helped with that a lot.

Tofu faltered, obviously unsure if I should be tested when I had a headache rivaling that of a hungover.  
Then he exchanged a glance with the reaper, before paling. He realized that he really only had one option.

"How... What..." The clown stuttered, seemingly still processing that he really had to do this.

"...define: 'make up'" Was the mortician's attempt to get away from this.

"You two are going to talk about what problem do you have with each other, an idea of how you can solve your problem, and what sacrifices are you willing to make to achieve an understanding." I stated, showing I wasn't going to let them get away with _only_ a kiss and a hug. They had to resolve their problems, and they were going to do it now. No more headaches.

"..."

"..."

" _Today_ " I pressed, when no one seemed ready to take the first step.

Tofu turned to the reaper, who immediately turned his expression into a blank mask, preparing for the toy's words.  
"I hate your very existence, we can solve this problem if you impale yourself with your death scythe, and I'm willing to make the sacrifice of forgetting you ever existed." He angrily stated, glaring at the reaper.

Undertaker pointed at Tofu with his open hand, as if asking how they could ever reach an agreement when the toy behaved like this. As if all of his actions were immediately justified by Tofu's own actions. I eyebrow twitched again, followed by a pang of pain.

I grabbed Tofu by the head, turning to Undertaker. It seemed like I had to do everything here.

"He's jealous" I simply stated. The reaper blinked, tilting his head to the side.

"Am not!" The clown protested, growling under his breath.

"Now your turn" I ignored him, turning to the reaper.

"I'm _not_ jealous!" The toy attempted to refute, but no one was listening to him anymore.

"I don't like that clown alluding to the fact I died more than three times a day~." The reaper stated, honestly enough.

I blinked. What?

"You died?" I asked, surprised, my headache forgotten in favor of worry.

"Yep~" He simply said, not giving any details.

"Tofu..." I turned to the aforementioned clown. "Why?" Why would he even...? This is so stupid. I feel like I'm playing peacemaker with two four year olds.

"..." The clown refused to say anything, looking at anything but me.

"Tofu" I warned. This really cannot go on any longer, they have to tolerate each other _at least_.

"He annoys me. He always steals all of your attention" The toy mumbled, refusing to look at any of us.

Two pair of eyes blinked. "So he _is_ jealous~..." Undertaker mumbled, amazed.

"Shut up!" The clown growled, still denying it.

"Alright, how about this, I can spend more time with Tofu, Taker drops the passive-aggressive retorts, and you" I turned to the aforementioned clown "stop it with the insulting nicknames." I offered, hoping that this would hopefully settle things. I would drop dead from stress if this goes on any longer.

"..."

"..."

"I started with a: 'how about this', you're supposed to share your thoughts on the matter." I spat when no one said anything. Really, why do I have to do everything?

"I don't have a problem with it~... as long as he doesn't steal _all_ of your time." The reaper offered, looking blankly at the clown.

Tofu grumbled.  
"What was that?" I pressed, not willing to accept that half-assed answer.

"I said fine! Whatever." He finally spat.

I sighed, finally relaxing a bit. Hopefully they would stop fighting…  
"Alright... now hug and kiss. You're not getting out of it" I finally said. They had given me so much problems that I felt vindictive enough to force them into my previous threat.

"No way~" The mortician quickly said, not even missing a beat.

"Forget about it" The clown followed suit, finally agreeing to something.

The reaper blinked for a second, looking at the clown before changing his mind. "...on second thought, alright~" Never mind, not even _this_ they agreed on.

"Wait, What? You traitor! Stay away! No! NOO! STAY AWAAAAY!" The clown wailed when Undertaker enveloped him in a hug, while I marveled. This was most likely a one-time thing, I had to enjoy it while I could.

"DON'T TOUCH MEEEE!" Tofu wailed again, attempting to desperately escape from the reaper's clutches.  
After that, I only heard the sound of lips kissing something.

Tofu went silent. Unnaturally so, like he was processing what just happened. I think Undertaker broke him.

Undertaker turned to me with a smirk, seemingly proud of his actions and the horror they caused.

"Now... can I know what that was, about you dying?" I finally asked, after enjoying the clown's misfortune.  
Because I was worried about Undertaker, very much so.

"It's nothing to worry about, it happened a long time ago." He simply said, not saying this in any particular mood, like it really didn't matter.

"But... are you alright...?" I asked, worried.

He nodded. After a beat, he finally decided to explain.  
"Reapers..." He stared, thinking hard about what he was going to say. "When humans die in a..." He looked at me from the corner of his eye "...special way, they are turned into reapers. So, in a sense, we could say that all reapers are already dead." He simply stated.  
Well, that would explain Tofu's nickname.

I took his hand, listening attentively to his explanation. "Sorry for asking." I mumbled, when he seemed to have finished explaining.

"As I said, it's been centuries, since I became a reaper. It's fine." He said, not looking at me.  
It wasn't as fine as he wanted me to believe, if he got annoyed at Tofu constantly reminding him of it.  
Which probably meant that it hadn't been a very peaceful or pretty death.

He had been human... It was strange, I was used to think about him as a reaper, it made me curious about how he was, when he was a human. Surely, he wouldn't be that much different, right? Taker was Taker, he could be a reaper, an old man, or the sun god of a forgotten religion, and he would still be Taker. I really shouldn't be that curious.

I kissed his cheek, hugging his head in an attempt to comfort him, even if he didn't seem to be in need to if, he did return the hug.

He wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer. He breathed into my ear, making goosebumps crawl down my back. He slowly smirked, ready to say something that would make me go red.

"I still don't want to see you two getting close and personal with each other." The clown glared, interrupting once again.

"You have legs, don't you~?" The mortician's smile soured, eyeing the clown vindictively.

"You know, for half a second I thought you weren't that bad. I was wrong, you're horrible." The clown glared, angrily stomping his foot.  
I saw the reaper roll his eyes, while the toy marched indignantly out of the kitchen.

Great. There goes all of my hard work.  
"Taker" I looked disapprovingly at him.

"Hi hi hi~ what~?" He innocently asked, like he had done nothing wrong in the world.

These two are _terrible_.  
Where is Biscuit, by the way? They seem to always have a radar to know when Taker and I are closer than a feet apart... and of course _love_ to interrupt us by tackling and pushing their way between us...

The fact that Tofu has replaced Biscuit in that particular job makes me suspicious...

"Where is Biscuit...?" I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know.

"..."

"Taker?" I asked, now more than suspicious at the dog's disappearance.

"Nowhere~" The mortician causally said, way too late to avoid my suspicions.

"Taker" I sighed, more than sure the demon hound's disappearance wasn't casual.

"What~? I didn't do anything wrong~" He defended himself, raising his hands in the air.

"Taker..." I warned, not in the mood for games.  
Where did that bad old reaper leave my precious poor Biscuit?

The reaper sighed, letting me go to walk to the basement door. As he kicked the door open, a very hyper-looking Biscuit came out, all but tackling me to the ground, whining and crying.

"See~? This is why I wanted them out of the way" The mortician pointed out.

"You're a horrible old man" I stated, petting the poor dog, starved for attention.

Poor Biscuit... such a good dog...

* * *

I came to a screeching halt, eyes wide.

Undertaker. On our bed. Laying backwards into it like a Greek god. Naked.  
Well, not really naked, just bare-chested. He still had his pants, but his upper clothes had vanished, his uniform nowhere to be seen.

He looked so casual, too. He was laying against the bed, one hand pushing back his bangs from his face, his other hand on the bed, keeping himself half up.

"Hi hi hi~" He giggled, like he just happened to be there, looking innocent like only he can.

My thoughts immediately deteriorated into that could be interpreted as: "What do ducks eat, in the wild? It can't be bread. Maybe fish?" But I was making so little sense, that I couldn't really understand my own question. Or why had I suddenly become so interested in the diet of ducks.  
Maybe they secretly ate grass. Seeds? But, what about winter, then? They would starve.

"Little Lia~?" Undertaker's eyes, usually calm and lazy, blinked, half worried. "Your nose is bleeding" He pointed out.

...

I touched my nose. My fingers came red.  
So I was...

Huh...

...

...

I blinked, finding myself into the reaper's hold, he was making me sit on his lap, while he used a tissue to stop the bleeding.

"I'm making tea~"

Aha...

...eh...? why...?

I blinked uncomprehendingly at the mortician.  
"It will calm you~" He said, brushing a finger on my cheek. I wasn't nervous. I'm already calm.  
I don't know what made him think I was nervous, but I wasn't, really. The trembling is just his imagination… it's just cold, yeah, that.

...

If we ignore the fact that I just gave myself a nosebleed, of course.  
Undertaker got up to make the tea, returning after what felt barely seconds. I eyed the reaper as he approached me, all rippling muscles like a cat's, and a big grin on his face. Why couldn't cover himself with something? My poor innocence!

Undertaker petted my head, and I felt myself relax.  
That is, until my eyes trailed to his bare chest and my blood decided to revolt again. My heart gave a leap, trying to jump out of my throat.  
I started bleeding from the _other_ nostril.

I silently took the offered tissue, ignoring the snickers and giggles of my companion.

Well... damn.

I sat on the bed, dazedly staring at nothing, until a hand with a beaker full of tea was offered to me by my favorite reaper.

"T-Thanks..." I mumbled, all embarrassed and confused. My eyes stared again at his chest, drawn in like iron to a magnet.

"..."

"..."

"...Well it's nice to see you appreciate the view so much~." The mortician giggled, I wasn't very subtle.

"S-Shuttup." My cheeks were so red and hot that I felt I could fry an egg on them. I tried to hide my face but it wasn't long before my eyes tried to peek again.

He didn't need to say anything more, he just smiled smugly, leaning backwards to enjoy the view of _me_ enjoying the view. Pervert…  
He was such a dork. He wasn't _that_ sexy...

I could feel Undertaker's eyes, lazily boring into me.

...

Alright those are filthy lies. Undertaker is a God incarnate and I'm a sucker for his _everything_.

I covered my face with my hands again. I can't believe I just thought that. I wailed, trying to look at anything but his abs.  
Sadly, that just meant I focused on his scars, which were _still_ on his chest.

He had more scars, particularly one very big across his chest. It contrasted with his pale skin quite a bit. In a very nice way.  
It just made me want to kiss his scars until they faded away.

Our first kiss had been the mother of all disastrous kisses, and the second attempt hadn't been much better, why in hell could he look this smug when he was half naked?! He should be nervously sputtering nonsese like I internally was!

I kept drinking my tea, attempting to erase from my mind of all my previous embarrassment. Luckily I didn't have more nostrils to bleed through, so I could at least _pretend_ that I wasn't still staring at him.  
...which I wasn't. Of course. That would make me a pervert. I'm not a pervert. He is the pervert.

The reaper playfully nudged me, giving me a _look_. I honestly don't get what he's trying to imply, but I'll bet it's something naughty.  
That wiggling eyebrows and knowing smirk gives it away. I still don't know how he does that.

I tried to mimic his eyebrow movements, but by the tilting of his head, confused, I failed miserably.

I pouted, annoyed with his senseless teasing, and pounced on the mortician, making us fall to the bed. Such an irritating old man.

Luckily, Taker was fast enough to catch the beaker before it fell. Which... I should have realized I was holding, before I glomped the reaper.  
"Now, now~ how about we calm down~? Hi hi~ Finish your tea first~" He chided me, giving me back the half full beaker of tea.

I can calm down. The question is: "finish your tea" before _what_? Because there's a lot of… Oh, who am I kidding, I have a very strong suspicion as to _what_ he is referring to. I will… uh... I will drink my tea. Yeah, little steps.

I sipped the tea.  
It wasn't that bad... I may actually end up growing fond of Undertaker's tea. Not as fond as I am of his cookies, but that's to be expected.  
Nothing beats cookies.

...

But of course, he could have meant "finish your tea... before I take it for myself..." So, I could be wrong. Because I'm usually wrong, when it comes to things like these. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm wrong, so I probably am.  
Yes, I was still thinking about his words, call me foolish.  
Just in case he wanted to steal my tea, I quickly gulped it down, eyeing the reaper suspiciously.

The reaper chuckled, wiggling in place. I don't know why he's so happy about this… he's definitely up to something. And I won't like it.  
Taking the beaker from me, he did that eyebrow thingy again, leaving the beaker on the nightstand table.

I looked at the half naked mortician, as he slowly hugged me. I uncertainly returned the hug and he softly kissed my cheeks, slowly making his way to my ear so he could whisper.  
"No need to hurry, my dear~" He whispered, making me even more nervous than I already was.

I blushed, covering my face with my hands. His words had sent a tingling sensation crawling down my back.  
Those are my sins. I'm certain.

Slowly making his way down, Undertaker snickered. The ass was planning something. He had the signs written all over his face. Or maybe he had liked the shudder that had overtaken me, when he spoke to me.

He hugged me tight, and while I rather liked the comfort it gave, I'm not sure this explains anything at all… I felt myself relax a bit when he kept kissing my cheek, softly brushing the back of my hand until I calmed down. He definitely knew how to ease my nervousness… It felt nice. As I wrapped my arms around his torso – _still naked, let's remember_! - I felt so…

It was a strange sensation, but the only way I could describe it was… loved. I felt so loved that I felt about ready to cry. I quickly wiped my tears before he could see them. No need to worry him.

A hand with long black nails trailed down to my stomach, caressing it lightly while I was distracted hiding my weakness.  
I blinked. Realization finally dawning on me.

Undertaker's mouth slowly started making its way downwards, kissing my neck, and everything he could as he crawled away from me.

Alright I think I'm certain now where this is going. I'm dense, not stupid.

I blinked again this time in half panic.

Wha-wha-Wha- What am I supposed to do, now? I mean... uh... ah... I...  
"You're thinking, dear~" Was the accusation from the mortician, who had stopped on my stomach and stared reprimanding at my panicked face.  
Well, yes. Seeing as I'm not dead nor a plant, rock or fungus... I'm thinking. Comes with being _alive_.

"Taker..." I squeaked, embarrassed beyond belief.  
Undertaker by his part, didn't answer my call, nor could he answer, seeing as he was... preoccupied with returning to my chest, simply burrowing his face there until I got my bearings together.

I'm going to die from embarrassment. I'm dead. I'm deader than dead. How did I get into this situation? Wha-wha-What was I even supposed to do?

I squirmed, embarrassed. Was it too late to faint now? I'm not sure if I can actually faint at will, but if he actually does anything more, I'm fainting, no matter if I want to or not.  
I blushed, hugging what I could of the reaper, sadly as he was using my chest as a pillow, I just ended up smothering him. Only after I realized I was probably cutting off his air supply did I release him. He just raised his head, dazzed.  
"Lia… I'm trying to be nice…" I mumbled, lost in la-la land.

 _This_ was nice?! I'm dead. I'm so dead that not even Undertaker will recognize my corpse. "You're never nice!" I accused, completely red faced, squirming in every way I could.

"Stop squirming little Lia…" He growled, clearing his voice a bit when he realized how strange his voice sounded.

I stopped squirming. In fact I stood as still as I could.

The reaper just sighed, moving away so he could dig his face on his hands, staying there for a while.  
When he didn't move after a while, I slowly got up, crawling towards the mortician. I poked him in the chest. He didn't move an inch, like he was made of stone.  
I poked him again, and the next second I was on my back on the bed, the mortician above me with a very annoyed face, smiling wide.

Uh… Poking the bear while it's hungry might not have been the best idea, retrospectively.  
"That's it, you're in for _a lot_ of trouble~" The mortician grumbled, slowly kissing my cheek.

Well, that's not too bad… Oh! Nevermind! NevermindNevermindNevermindNevermind! I said nothiiiiiing! Please let go of my chest! That's so embarrassing!

The reaper ignored me, as I was too embarrassed to actually talk, and continued with his original plan of crawling downwards.

The reaper sighed against my abdomen. It wasn't... it wasn't one of his rare sighs of when he's tired or exasperated with me. It was... different. Somehow, it was... pleased.

I studied what had I done to make him sigh.  
Nothing much, I had just wrapped myself around him like a baby koala. My legs were trembling, and I had no delusions that he might not have noticed. Really, I was more of a bother than anything, as he couldn't keep going down if I was attached to him like a freaking monkey.

I blushed when he gave me a look, and tried to caress his head in an attempt to do _something_ , like kiss his forehead, as his lips were a bit far away. Luckily, he collaborated, bringing his face closer to my lips. Amused smirk pulling his mouth upwards.

My face went scarlet at his amused reaction.

"What's wrong, my little Lia~? Feeling good~?" He teased making me want to run to a coffin to lock myself in there forever from sheer embarrassment.

This man is going to be the death of me.

* * *

I was quite cross with Undertaker.

He had had a meeting with the surviving Phantomhive twin, and I was apparently not included.

The bastard had even hatched a plan to keep me entertained and too busy to actually meet with them.  
The plan involved ropes, Biscuit, the cookie pot, a coffin and a stray cat. The fact that _it worked_ was what pissed me the most.

No, scratch that.

The fact that Undertaker decided to meet with Phantomhive without me, _deliberately_ , mind you, was what pissed me off the most.

He had known I had wanted to meet the twin, and still decided to... grrr. Be an ass!  
It was official. I was angry.  
"Come on, little Lia~... are you still angry about it~? I'm sorry~, but I had to~" The reaper pouted from behind me, trying to get in my face.

I glared at the reaper.  
"Stop lying. You're not even _a little_ bit sorry" I accused.

"Not really" He smiled, completely unrepentantly.  
The ass didn't even try to hide it. He was snickering, poking me and overall hovering around me, being a nuisance. He was a real ass.

"Go away. I can't believe you did that." I growled, angry at the stupid old man next to me.

"Come on~ you can meet them later~" He offered, putting a hand on my hip in an attempt to convince me… or distract me until I forgot.

"When?" I asked, hitting the offending hand that was slowly wandering to places it _shouldn't_.

"Whenever they feel like dropping by~" The reaper said, pouting at his hand and rubbing it slowly like he was comforting it.

"Yeees, because I'm _certain_ that you gave him _a lot_ of reasons to drop by, and not just... you know, dread the very thought of meeting with you." The sarcasm in my words was _palatable_.

"Hi hi~" At this the mortician smiled wide, completely _delighted_.

"That giggle gives you away! I don't even want to know what you did to the poor Phantomhive..." I sighed, done with his antics. Suddenly, I noticed a little detail in his words "...and is it my imagination or were you talking in plural?" I asked, realizing what it could mean.  
I crossed my fingers behind my back, wishing that meant both twins had survived.

"The earl... has gained a very special butler." He simply said, his grin diminishing.

...And there they go, all my hopes, mercilessly shattered into a million pieces.

It's the butler's fault. Stupid butler.

"Ah." I simply mumbled, not knowing what to say.

"You don't seem very excited." The reaper pointed out, looking at my blank face.

"Should I be?" I asked, not really knowing what he wanted of me.

"I guess not~" He shrugged, shaking his head from side to side.

I gave my back to the reaper, deciding to focus in my newest project instead.

Since Undertaker was a lazy ass that didn't feel like replacing the broken teacup, I had decided to use my ability with the clay to make a mug.  
A normal mug, of course. No magic involved. I wouldn't want a living mug that could hide itself whenever it wanted. I already have enough with the Grim Reaper that likes to hide my brush.

I couldn't keep drinking from a beaker, I had goosebumps every time I did so, it went against every lab rule I knew of.

Even if I knew Undertaker had _another_ set of beakers in the basement, which were the ones that he _actually_ used for his experiments.

"So~… What are you making~?" The mortician asked, looking at my little project.

I gave the reaper the silent treatment.

Undertaker whined.  
"Little Lia~..." Nothing. "I promise I won't do it again~ come on~... talk to me~..." He whined, pouting at me.  
A pair of arms wrapped around my midsection, pulling me closer to the white haired reaper. My cheeks went slightly pink.

Maybe I should stop ignoring him...? No, he's an ass. What he had done was a very dick move. I had really wanted to meet the little Phantomhive, _and he had known that._ It was totally his fault I was now angry at him.

I made an offended noise, turning my head away.

"I'll make you cookies~" The reaper offered. My ears twitched, listening to the bribe.

...Damn.

"And I will tell you next time I'm expecting Phantomhive, alright~?" The mortician kept talking, having noticed the sudden attention I paid when the cookies were mentioned.

"..." My teeth met my bottom lip, considering. It was a fair offer… but he had been unfair, when he had left me off the loop, so I shouldn't settle with _fair_. I want an obscene amount of cookies _at the very least_.

"And I will repay it to you~... tonight~" The reaper whispered next to my ear, slightly tightening the hold he had around my midsection.

"..." My hands put a little more force than necessary, and the clay bent too much and ruining my work irreparably, forcing me to start over.

I stared at my ruined work, mind drawing a blank, while looking for the reasons why I hadn't accepted yet. Uh… er... pride? Did I have any of that left in stock? Maybe I hid some away for a situation like this…?

"And we can go level up and hunt for food in your dungeon~... that deer was surprisingly good~" He kept talking knowing he already had me.

Pride? Yeah, let's go with that. "..." By this point only pride was keeping me from relenting to his plead, and he knew it.

"And I wuv you~" He shamelessly admitted, smirking against my neck, knowing that I had already lost.

I turned red. Really, how was I supposed to stay angry at him? It wasn't fair!  
The mortician had started moving us from side to side, as he progressively increased his bribe.  
By the time he had started muttering sweet nothings, he was almost on top of me, enveloping me from behind.

I grumbled. He kissed my cheek.  
"That's a very cheap trick. You're a stupid old man. Go bald." I grumbled, wanting to turn around to hug him.

He was dropping all of his weight on my back as he hugged me, making me lean forward and unable to keep working on the clay mug. Not that I had kept working on it, while Undertaker was bothering me. I had to start over anyways.

I grumbled.  
"What makes you think the little Phantomhive will come to you?" I asked, already giving up on any pretense of pride I could have hold.

"Didn't I tell you~? My trade is information~." The reaper moved so his back was against mine, using me as a cushion of sorts. "Something the newly decorated earl will need in spades, if he's to perform his family duty~..."

I didn't have to look at his eyes to know he was sporting a distant look, and I immediately suspected I knew the reason for it.  
"The Queen's... Watchdog..." I mumbled. That was the secret title Vilvent had had, wasn't that right?

"Indeed..." He confirmed, still looking somewhere very far away.

"Isn't he a little bit too young?" I asked, worriedly.

It had barely been a few months since the earl's return from the grave, after his whole family's death.

Barely three months after that, he had been decorated earl, but I hadn't been aware that the title also came with _that_ position.

It was too dangerous a job, for a kid. Especially if he had suffered from some kind of trauma, after his family's death.  
To give him that title so soon... isn't that a bit irresponsible, of the Queen?  
I pursed my lips.

Maybe the mortician's dislike of the Queen wasn't completely unjustified.

A finger poked my cheek, making me blink. I looked at the owner of the finger questioningly.  
"So~... you're not angry with me, anymore~?" he asked again, making sure I really wasn't holding a grudge.

I blinked. And sighed, a traitorous smile peeking through.

Truth be told, I don't think I can be mad at Undertaker for very long. Even if what he did should have gotten him at least a full week of silence and glares.  
"I'm not." I said, smiling at the reaper. Such a dork.  
He tackled me, barely avoiding the table where I had been trying to make the mug. "...But don't do it again." I added on, not wanting a repeat of this.

Sadly, I didn't have any delusions that he wouldn't do it again in a heartbeat, if he thought he had to.  
Undertaker was the type to ask forgiveness afterwards, rather than permission.

Now that he had gotten himself back into my good graces, he showed interest in what I was making.  
"What's that~?" He pointed at the squished lump of clay that had been supposed to be a mug, before he made me screw it up.

"A mug" I tersely stated. If he had been looking at it before I destroyed it, it should have been obvious.

The reaper waited, he had obviously already picked up that fact, and was waiting for me to elaborate.

"I was just..." truth be told, I wanted to give him this mug, on my birthday. It still was a while, until then, but I didn't want to run out of gifts... which wouldn't happen in at least two more years. I had made _a lot_ of them, that time I sort of panicked looking for an appropriate gift.

I know I was supposed to be the one receiving the gifts, but I didn't know Undertaker's birthday, so I had decided we would celebrate together that day. I like it, when we spent my birthday together, not really doing anything.  
…Not that I needed an excuse to give him something, of course… I could just give it to him without reason, because I love him a lot and he's a dork and he makes me happy and…

I blushed, deciding to abandon that train of thought that would only lead me to Tease-Dalia-Land.

I wanted to make a cute mug so he could drink his tea. Maybe I would even carve a sheep on it.  
Now that his only teacup was broken, he was forced to drink his morning tea in a beaker like everyone else.

"I… felt like making this for you" I mumbled blushing and looking at my clay-covered hands, avoining his stare.

"For me~?" He repeated, blinking. He probably hadn't been expecting me to be making something for him, while I was still angry at him. Or maybe he hadn't expected me to admit it was a gift for him.

The mortician looked at the cup, smiling. Settling himself behind me, he apparently decided to watch me work.

I had to start over anyways, thanks to the reaper, the mug-to-be had ended up squished, and I was impossible to bend it back into its original shape. I could still see the holes my fingers had left when…  
Nope not thinking of that.

Taking the clay and making a noodle out of it, I started over again, twirling the noodle over itself to make a circle that would become the base of the cup.

I started building the "walls" of the mug with another clay noodle, smoothing everything afterwards with my fingers.

I dipped my fingers in water to keep smoothing the rim of the cup.  
As I was finishing the mug, I was suddenly, sprinkled in clay-dirtied water right on my cheek.

I turned my head to the side, where the reaper _was supposed_ to be behaving.  
Undertaker had decided to dip his fingers in the water, and then throw the droplets in his hands at my face.

...

I narrowed my eyes at the ass next to me, acting innocent.  
With my clay-dirty hands, I traced a line over his nose, leaving a war-like painting on it. That would teach the stupid old man.  
Far from being annoyed at getting dirty, he smiled, clearly his intention all along.

Sticking two of his wet fingers in the unused clay, he paid me back in kind, leaving a trail of clay over one of my cheeks.  
With his nails, all of that had a dangerous turn to it. In fact, I think I could use those nails as carving tools. I blinked, seriously considering the option.

I snatched his hand, gripping one of his fingers like it was a pen.

"Thank you" I absently mumbled.

"Hi hi~ Why, you're very welcome, my dear~" he answered readily enough, tilting his head to the side and looking at what I was about to do with his finger.

I still had to make the handle, but I think I could carve before that, right? Let's try.

Using only Taker's looong nails, I managed to carve a small sheep.  
"Why do you carve sheeps and cats into everything?" The mortician asked, looking curiously at the smiling, fluffy sheep.

"It's cute. And it gives that object a personality. Example; take this mug before the carving. It was nice, but very plain. Now, look at it now. It has a sheep. It's cute. If it had a cat, it would give it a mischievous, but cute touch. If it had a duck, it would be funny. Do you catch my drift?" I explained, smiling wide.

"...why is it always a sheep, for me?" The mumbled again, looking at the sheep again.

I went silent at this, looking at his hair.  
"..." I said nothing just looking with wide eyes at the reaper.

"I hope it's not because my hair reminds you of a sheep's wool~" The reaper teased, smirking.

I looked away.  
"..." I… couldn't say anything to that, really.

"Dear~?" The mortician asked again, the smirk slowly banishing, being replaced with suspicion.

"..." I said nothing.

" _Dalia_ " Undertaker stated, almost wheezing.

"I can't help it!" I finally wailed, giving up on trying to lie, as it was pretty obvious by this point.

"I cannot believe you~! Hi hi hi~" The mortician giggled, at least he was not offended.

I pouted. Looking away and to the mug once again, making the noodle that would become the handle.

"Can you give me that?" I asked the reaper pointing at the clay in his hands.

"Here you go~" He gave me a bit of the unused clay he was playing with.

Once the mug was done, I needed to paint and glaze the mug. If I was going to give it a color, which would Undertaker like the best…?  
"Do you want your mug pink?" I finally asked, looking up at the reaper.

"Dear, you just made me ve~ry happy~ hi hi" He giggled, smirking at the mug that would become his.

I will take that as a yes.


	28. Chapter 27

**Hey, new chapter! Here you have it! Hope you like it!**

 **The poll is officially closed from now on! You can view the results on my profile, but if you feel to lazy to look at it, I will just tell that the manga won. Those that wanted to follow the anime, don't worry! I plan to make another fanfic once this one is finished, and I will make the setting in the anime world. I don't know when it will be out, yet, but one day for sure! I just don't want to start another until this one is finished.**

 **Here are the coments to your lovely reviews! Thanks for commenting, you all make my day with every single review!**

 **Esper Mammon: Tofu is certainly way cuter than I had originally intended. He's just a big tsun-tsun. Dalia's mind is really... something. I don't even know where that came from, I personally though Taker acted more like a ferret. Sneaky, a thief and with a complete disregard of his personal appearance. Really, poor hair, he should take better care of it.**

 **guadadominguez4: haha! I don't know if my poor heart will be able to bear it, but I will definitely try! They are terribly cute and awkward those two. I really don't know what happened for them to turn up like this.  
Well, Tofu's real plan is now out of the bag! That's what he had been busy with, so you really had a good hunch! Yeah, it's kind of sad, but reassuring at the same time. I hadn't really meant for that to be a reassurance, as in the timeline in which this was discovered, Dalia had found that... the hard way, but I'm sort of glad that she's not so worried anymore. Even if she's still a worrywart.  
Taker definitely doesen't like Sebas-chan, and I can say that he's definitely a bit more than worried about her reaction. Muahahaha, more of that in the next chapter! They will both be appearing there! Author promise!  
**

 **steph557: Dalia getting angry was unexpectedly funny. And don't worry! The very next chapter will be the so expected meeting! I really like that little Phanthomhive, too. I also want to know his name, and I know there are a lot of possible names, but I don't wanna risk it until the great godess Yana-sama saying her final word.**

 **jj510: I'm glad that you like it! I make it my goal to draw a smile out of everyone who reads my chapters!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, the** **great godess** **Yana Toboso does. Hail her!**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"You know, when I agreed to spend more time with you, this isn't what I had in mind." I monotoned as I bashed yet another monster's face.

' _You have gained 5000 exp points'_

"Too bad, this is what I want to do. More importantly, what I want _you_ to do." Tofu answered, not moved at all.

"Slave driver" I whined, grumbling

"Watch it, human. Or I might just force you into our original deal." The clown warned.

"What deal?" I asked, confused.

"I, the great and kind Tofu..." I heard Undertaker's snort from behind me. "...Have decided to change the parameters of your mission." The toy seemed to glow with pride, as if expecting some kind of praise. I petted his head, just to make him happy.

He had changed my mission...? The one about killing Zachary?

"Really?" I made sure, looking at the proud looking toy with a bit of suspicion. It couldn't be that easy, right?

"Yes." The toy seemed to brighten, looking extremely proud of himself.

"What's the catch~?" The reaper seemed to sense my suspicion and decided to chime in, asking what he knew I wouldn't dare ask.

"There's no catch you stupid mumm- ..." Tofu closed his mouth midway through, interrupting himself. Then opened it again like a fish. He spent a few minutes like this, not saying anything. It looked like the toy was at a loss, like... he didn't know what else to call Undertaker.

This has to be the first time Tofu has been left speechless. And we didn't even do anything.

It took me a few more seconds than it should, to realize the reason why Tofu had interrupted himself, but when I did, it made me very happy the toy was genuinely trying. He had promised, after all.  
"How about Undertaker?" I suggested calmly, hoping that the clown wouldn't become frustrated and lash out.

"..." The toy didn't react, lost somewhere inside his mind.

"I wouldn't mind if you added a: 'highly honorable' before that~" The reaper mentioned, smirking at the clown like the smug bastard he is.

"Taker don't push it" I swatted the mortician away, giving the clown some space. And he had looked so happy a second ago...

"..."

"Aww~" The mortician whined, trying to get in my face, poking my cheek while I did my best to ignore him.

"How about simply: reaper." I offered to the clown. "It's simple, true and not insulting." I reasoned, but the clown didn't seem to react. Maybe he wanted a more insulting word? "...and if you apply enough derision in it, you can almost make it into an offensive term."

"..." Tofu, for all instances and purposes, had been rendered speechless, he didn't even seem to be hearing our words.

Tofu had promised that he would stop calling Undertaker any of his wide assortment of insults comparing him to an undead being, and while I was happy he seemed to be genuinely trying to maintain his part of the deal, I was a bit worried.  
Tofu wasn't known for his patience, of all things.

That didn't mean Tofu couldn't be patient, he had to be, if he had managed to escape my notice for so long, but...  
I eyed Tofu's blank, expressionless face, yellow eyes staring at nothing, mouth open with no words forming in it.

His patience didn't usually extend to conversations. Or Undertaker.  
Least of all a conversation in which Undertaker happens to be the current topic.

"You..." Tofu finally snapped out of his stupor, with the expected amount of frustration and anger in his voice. "You... you... You Osiris wannabe!"

What?

...

...

Wasn't Osiris an Egyptian god?

One that just so happened to be _dead_?

As in, mummified kind of dead. As in, _cut into pieces and strewn across Egypt,_ kind of dead.

"Tofu..." I mumbled, a bit disappointed that the clown had decided to give up.

"I had to. I HAD TO!" Tofu shouted, defending himself.

"..." Undertaker, at least didn't seem to get that angry. He was just staring blankly at the clown.  
After a while, he sighed, letting the insult slide.  
Thank goodness that there's still someone with enough sense around here.

I petted Tofu's hair. Hoping to distract him.  
"So... why did you make me come to a dungeon and start killing things, if you're changing the mission?" I asked, confused.

"Don't you mind that, I just needed a few things to finally pull this through, it wasn't easy, you know? So you better appreciate the fact I'm gonna give you another way. You can choose whatever way you want, as long as you get rid of Zephyr." The clown stared, back to his proud demeanor from before.

"Yeah, but... What way is that?" I asked, to which I was answered by a cocky smirk, rather than words.

' _You have leveled up skill [Create ID] to max level'_

' _You can now create a new dungeon [Blank ID]'_

"Eh..." I mumbled, unsure what had happened.

"Create it" the toy ordered, not missing a beat.

"Alright..." I cautiously agreed. I hope this wasn't one of his pranks...

I created the new type of Instant Dungeon, watching as a small goblin ran up to us to try to attack us before we left.  
I threw one of my magic projectiles, my new preferred attack. It didn't kill it, but it pushed it far enough away to let us leave and enter the new dungeon.

Looking around I saw... black. In any direction I looked at, I only saw black.  
"Blank ID? More like black ID..." I grumbled, looking around confusedly.

"This, is a very special place, and normal people would crawl, kill and beg to be able to do what you are going to be able to do." The toy explained, making me shiver.

"I don't know why, but hearing you say that somehow gives me the creeps..." I mumbled, looking warily at the toy.

"Look at this place as a blank space, it is your job to fill it in any way you want. It was very difficult to manage this, so appreciate my effort!" The toy stated, looking haughtily at me. I just stared, trying to understand his words.

...

"What?" I finally gave up, not really knowing what the toy wanted of me.

"Grr... imagine something, doesn't matter what it is." The toy grumbled, glaring at me.

"Eh..." I mumbled, trying to come up with something.

"Come on!" The clown pressed.

"I don't work well under pressure!" I whined, squirming.

"Imagine cookies, little Lia~" Taker chimed in from his place beside me.  
Thanks Taker, you're a life saver.

I imagined a cookie. Simple as that.  
A cookie was in front of me. A cookie that hadn't been there seconds before.

...

Eh?

"Whatever you desire, you have just to imagine it, and it is yours." The clown explained, as proud of himself as can be.

I looked at the cookie fascinated.  
"A cookie appeared..." I marveled, touching the cookies reverently. It was real!

" _Yes_ , a cookie appeared. Now, _you_ " He pointed at me, like I didn't know he was talking to me. "... Are going to use _this_ " he pointed at our still-black surroundings. "...to defeat Zephyr. That big bad guy, remember...?" The clown sarcastically asked, looking at me like he was talking to a child.

And I didn't mean he was talking in a nice, baby-talk way like Undertaker sometimes liked to do. He talked like he doubted my mental capabilities would be enough to comprehend his words. Not nice at all, Tofu.

Finally Undertaker decided to pipe in.  
"This must be very difficult to make~... surely it must have some kind of drawback~?" The mortician casually mentioned, looking sideways at the clown.

"Tsk. No drawbacks you... idiot. Just don't expect to be able to bring anything created in here into the real world." The toy grumbled, looking away.

...  
And my cookie?  
"I cannot bring this cookie outside this dungeon?" I asked, looking at the sugary goodness in my hand.

"No. You can't bring your cookie" the clown growled, not having enough patience to deal with me and my cookie. So I quickly ate it.  
It tasted good. Very cookielicious.

Tofu rolled his eyes.  
"You can still use this place to create a training room, try changing different things, like gravity, or create terrifying monsters, or something. A monster that will make Zephyr wet his pants when we seal him here"

"Won't Zephyr be able to escape~? You did give him the ability to move between dimensions~" The mortician asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Not with this one. You just have to _imagine_ he doesn't have that power anymore, or some magic chains that can restrict that power, or whatever idea comes to mind. In here, your only limit is quite literally your imagination." The clown stated, once again looking so proud he could start shining.

"Then we're screwed" I grumbled pessimistically.

My imagination didn't go very far, beyond imagining the worst possible outcome... or imagining things that will only scare me. Or worrying needlessly.

"Grr... it's very easy: bring Zephyr here, remove his powers with whatever bullshit you come up with, leave him here, and forget he ever existed. He won't be dead, you can't have any complaints. You do that, or kill him. I don't care what you choose as long as we get rid of him." The toy growled, apparently cross that no one seemed to appreciate his efforts, so I started to pet his head. I was thankful, I just... failed to see myself as being able to use this to its full potential.

I looked around, nothing had really changed, just that endless black void. It wasn't dark, I could look at Undertaker and Tofu perfectly well, but there wasn't a single silver of light around.

If I could change everything... did that mean I could get out of this black surroundings? Seeing as the only way to know was trying, I imagined a nice place to be in. Maybe a sunny place with cute flowers. Or a kitchen with cookies.

A wide meadow suddenly replaced the endless void, a small house sat atop the only small hill. A few miles away, I could see a lake, the clear water reflecting the sun like gemstones.  
I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face.  
Was this really just an illusion?

It felt more like... another dimension.

"This place is far too nice for Zephyr, next time try with more fire and brimstone." The toy grumbled, looking around.

"Hi hi~ it does feel very real~" The mortician stated, looking at the grass beneath our feet. He poked it a few times, it acted just like grass did.

"It does, doesn't it?" I smiled at the mortician. This place was really nice.

I made more cookies appear.  
"You can also make something already existing _change_ , rather than materialize something new." The toy gave me a bit of advice, looking blankly at my cookies.

Something change? There were a lot of things that _could_ change... but what _should_ I change...?

...

...

...

"Like turning that cookie into fried fish~" The mortician giggled next to me, looking amused at my immediate reaction to his words.  
No way! Why would I want to do that?!  
Stupid old man! He's so stupid and blind he couldn't see the greatness of a good baked cookie even if it slapped him in the face! Humph!

I blinked looking at the mortician, realizing that I was completely right, after all.  
Oh! Idea! Idea! Idea!

"Oh! Oh! Eh... Would this work?" I asked, so giddy I couldn't stay in place, looking at the reaper excitedly. He just looked confused.

"What are yo-"he started, but Undertaker suddenly interrupted himself and widened his eyes to the size of oranges, wildly looking around.

Please tell me it worked.  
Gosh, I hoped it worked, and that I didn't horribly screw him up forever...

The reaper turned to me, as if seeing me for the first time.

"Ah... great. I'm going to leave you two lovebirds alone. I really shouldn't have allowed that." The toy grumbled, and proceeded to turn itself into a nondescript cardboard box, falling to the floor with a single thud.

Undertaker was looking at me. Straight at me, eyes _roaming_ every part of my body. Examining and analyzing everything.  
I felt kind of exposed.

"I'm... guessing it worked? Can you see, now?" I asked, a bit self-consciously. His eyes were piercing through me, it was kind of intimidating. Was it my imagination or were his eyes shining?

I didn't get an answer, instead Undertaker hurled himself to me, tackling me to the ground. Any resistance was met with an immovable wall called Undertaker, who seemed quite determined to keep me in place and hugging the life out of me, kissing everything that got in front of him, mainly my face.  
I felt like I was being showered in kisses. It was almost overwhelming.

I had guessed that if I could change Undertaker's bad eyesight he would be happy, but... Uh... well I wasn't quite expecting this. I hadn't expected him to be _this_ happy.

"I can't breathe... Taker..." I gurgled from my place in his arms, trying to get a bit of air.

He finally stopped assaulting me, and jumped up and away, taking me with him. He started making a weird dance in which he would jump on one foot and then jump on the other as he waited for me to put myself together. He seemed... awfully energetic. It was strange, as he usually acted like a cranky old man, right now he was acting like a child on a sugar high.  
"I can actually look when I do this, now~!" The reaper made a pose like he was looking at something very far away.

"I would imagine..." I mumbled, trying to ignore the fact the reaper wasn't staying still.

"I can almost see the back of my head!" The mortician stated, staring at the horizon with a grin.

"That's impossible, Taker." I said, but he didn't seem to hear me.

"I see the universe~!" I grinned.

"Taker no" I tried, knowing he wasn't going to stop while he was like this, but trying anyways.

"I see _time_ ~!" His mouth and eyes were so wide, looking at everything with renewed curiosity, that I honestly worried Tofu had put him on drugs.

"Taker..." I started.

"Life and death~!" The mortician kept going on, making me sweatdrop.

"Uh..." I looked around, trying to find some way to calm him.

"Love and hate~!" He was staring blankly at outer space... or something. I honestly don't understand what he's saying anymore, so I'll just... nod along.

"Sure, whatever floats your boat" I mumbled, considering if I should bring more cookies, not finding any reason why I _shouldn't_.

"I can see into your mind~! I CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL~!" The mortician giggled, looking straight at me.  
Well, that was creepy as hell.  
It was somehow made worse by his intense eyes, wider than normal, staring straight at me.

Taker crawled towards me like the asylum escapee he was. I leaned back and away.  
He was fast and, for the first time in ever, he had a better hand-eye coordination than me. Making it very difficult for me to escape. Well, more like impossible.

He tackled me again, showing his appreciation in the best way he knew of: invading my personal space.

I tried to move my head away from Undertaker's enthusiastic kisses, so I could try talk some sense into him.  
"I don't think it will last outside of here... so maybe you shouldn't be that happy..." I attempted, but if he was listening to me, he found my words meaningless, as he ignored them completely, kissing my cheeks, mouth, nose and neck like his very life was on the line.  
My hands on his face didn't seem to do anything to impede his actions.

"Takeeeer..." I whined, trying to save some face.  
He finally teared himself away from me.

"The world seems so clear, now... I can see you..." the mortician finally calmed down, looking to be his calm embarrassing self once again, staring at me like... I don't know. Like I used to look at Kala.

I blushed. I'm... not that pretty to look at... average, at best. Average in everything.

"You did have a good idea~... I'm afraid I won't be able to tease you anymore~" the mortician teased, caressing my cheek softly as I sulkily ate a cookie.

"Go bald" I pouted, looking away.

Tofu peeked from inside the cardboard box that had suddenly appeared, looking from side to side.  
"Are you done?" He glared at us.

"No~" The mortician stated, looking at the toy like he was staring at a cat, while being allergic. It was a very particular face.

"Yes" I said at the same time, looking at the mortician when he pouted. Blinking I decided to kiss his cheek, which seemed to work. He stopped making that disgruntled face, at least.

"Good, because I think I was about to get diabetes, with all of that sweet..." he made a vague gesture to Undertaker, who turned to pout at in my direction, as If silently telling me that Tofu was being a meanie.

"I have a question. If we kill things in here, do we level up? And if we do, do we keep the levels when we go outside?" I asked, raising my hand to get the toy's attention like we were in class.

"That's the spirit! If you create and kill a creature here, you do get experience according to how strong it is. And any experience you gain here, will be kept when you leave." The clown seemed awfully proud of my attempt at becoming more involved with this dungeon. He must have tried very hard to make it, and it was really useful. An unlimited supply of cookies! Ah, and a way to temporarily fix Taker's eyes.

"So, it's more cheating~?" The mortician giggled, hugging me as he looked at the clown curiously.

"Yes. Because she's an idiot" the toy grumbled. Hey!

"Why does everyone pick on me? I just had a good idea..." I sulked.

"Just because an idiot has a good idea _once_ doesn't mean they stop being an idiot." The clown haughtily looked down on me.

"I hope you're satisfied, because tonight you're both sleeping in a coffin."

"What did I do~?" The mortician grumbled, trying to nuzzle me in an attempt to change my mind.

"Could be worse" the toy casually stated, not very worried.

"Together" I added, seeing both of their faces immediately sour.

"..."

* * *

I screamed bloody murder.

A hand pressed itself into the back of my neck.

An ice-cold, freezing hand.

An ice-cold, _wet_ , freezing hand with long black nails and a scar on the pinky finger.

"Get it off!" I wailed, squealing and squirming.

"Hi hi hi~ something the matter, little Lia~?" The mortician giggled.

"Takeeeeer! Don't do thiiiis...!" I wailed, trying to move away.

"Do what, my precious, funny, adorable little Lia~?" Undertaker stated with incredibly _fake_ innocence.

"Takeeeeer" I wailed, trying to escape.

"Hi hi~ alright~ alright~" He finally gave up. The colder than death hand went away. I turned around, ready to chew out the reaper.

Undertaker was behind me, soaked from head to toe, a grin splitting his face in two, both hands facing my direction, twitching menacingly.

I thought better of it. He would just touch me again with those cold fingers of his.

It was raining today, he probably went outside. That would explain why he was so wet.

"Go change clothes you crappy old man, you'll get a cold and then you'll complain about how old you are." I grumbled, fussing over his stated, trying to get him out of his clothes. He would get sick, if he stayed like this.

"I don't complain~. And I don't get colds." The mortician grumbled, letting me fuss over him. He tamely stood still as I got him out of his wet robe.

"Really? I thought that was a myth?" I asked, stopping at what I was doing, looking up at the reaper.

"Myth?" He blinked, tilting his head to the side.

"Yes. You know, what they say about fools and all that..." I said.

"..." Undertaker just stared at me with an impassive face.

"..." I stood there, waiting. Pressing my lips together to avoid smiling before I made sure I got his approval. Maybe he didn't get it? Maybe I should explain it?

"You got that sass from the clown, didn't you...?" The mortician finally asked, staring blankly. Ah! So he _did_ get it! Good, good!

"Yep" I looked expectantly at the reaper. "Was I any good?" I finally asked, looking for approval.

"It was kind of smooth, I honestly wasn't expecting it. But next time, save it for the clown, alright~?" The mortician finally gave his opinion, putting his hand on his chin in a thinking pose.

"Okay!" I cheered, happy that I was getting better with this.

A hand petted my head.

An ice-cold hand.

A wet, ice-cold, freezing hand.

I had honestly forgotten his hands were freezing.

"Aaaah!" I immediately started squirming again, trying to move away.

"Hi hi hi~ you didn't think your sass would go unpunished, did you~?" The mortician's eyes were shining maliciously, his mouth sporting a wide grin.

"I... I kind of did..." I sniffed, teary eyed.

"Awww~... poor little Lia~" He cooed, hugging me with his cold, cold arms. He was getting _me_ wet.

"Don't say that while you're the reason why I'm suffering, you stupid old man!" I wailed, trying to escape his hold.

Undertaker finally released me, weaving his hands through his hair, moving it aside.  
His wet hair.  
His precious, wet, silvery white hair.  
His precious, wet, flowing, pearly, messy, beautiful...  
Alright, I think that's enough gushing over his hair for now. I will pick up this train of thought later. Right now I have more important things to do.

Undertaker stood still as I approached him, almost pouncing on him, letting me undress him, as took out his wet clothes, leaving him in his pants. I blushed, but didn't peek at his bare chest. Alright, maybe a little. But on accident. Alright maybe it wasn't an accident, but it was just once, and for a short while.  
Okay, I was staring shamelessly at his chest, but on my defense, it was his naked chest, and it was magnetic.

I shook my head from side to side, trying to clear my head. He barely twitched when my hands started brushing the sides of his legs. Should I?

As I considered if I really wanted to try to completely undress the mortician, I absentmindedly brushed my fingers on the scar on his chest, staring at it while I thought. I did have an ulterior motive to getting him undressed, of course, but I really didn't want him to get sick. Maybe I should go get some clothes for him? Being without a shirt right after being wet wasn't a good idea... not to mention he was still wet. He didn't miraculously dry while I traced the scar across his chest, obviously.

Yeah, I should go get a towel or something.  
As I turned around to go do exactly that, a pair of arms wrapped around my midsection, preventing my escape.

"Ah! Cold!" I whined, squirming away. The mortician poked my cheek, but released me with a pout.  
I used that to escape to the bathroom, to fetch a brush and towel.

I returned only with the towel, just to see the mortician pouting as he sat on a coffin. I started drying every part of bare skin I could see, starting with his back.  
When I had already dried every part of his upper chest and arms, I started to make my way downwards softly caressing his stomach with the towel.

I still had to look for it... didn't want to leave it like that.

The reaper sighed, pleased.

I got to the rim of his pants, and stayed there for a while, thinking if I really wanted to get him out of those pants by myself. Someone could enter... I looked at the shop door. It was closed, no one would be entering.

Hum... maybe I should let him do it. Then again, he doesn't seem to be in a helpful mood, if the way he's smirking is any indication...  
As my fingertips teasingly brushed the outside of his thighs over his wet pants I decided that he was like a big baby, so I shouldn't be embarrassed... right? It's not like we hadn't done worse... I mean... huh! It wasn't there... where did he hide it, then? He was half naked, it's not like he could hide it in that many places.

Undertaker's hand went to the back of my neck again leading me upwards again, cold fingers weaving through my own hair, moving it aside so he could kiss me.  
If he thought he could distract me with that, he's dead wrong.

My hands quickly went downwards again, trying to look for the disappeared brush. It wasn't in the bathroom, so I could bet money he has it. But where?  
I lightly pushed the mortician so he was leaning against a coffin. Anyways, I still had to dry him...

The reaper moaned, letting his head and back also fall against the coffin, leaning against it like a model of one of the sexy magazines of this time that like to especulate about women's underwear. Undertaker has very strange tastes in literature.  
I used that moment to also dry his face a bit, as he was now at a reachable height, unlike before.

My arms sneaked around his torso, wondering if there was an ulterior motive why he was laying over the coffin. Maybe he was hiding the brush from my view with his body, I wouldn't be the first time. Undertaker's back arched sensually at this, allowing me to make sure that he wasn't actually sitting on the brush.

I paused my actions for a second, looking at Undertaker's reaction at what I was doing.  
He looked positively sinful. I bet he's hoping that by doing this I'll get embarrassed and distracted, but there's not a chance. Even if I _am_ a bit embarrassed, the frustration of seeing his hair a completely wet mess overrides the embarrassment of everything Undertaker is doing.  
Where was he even hiding it? He was half naked for cookie's sake! Did I have to completely strip him to find the damn thing?!

Returning to the search of my brush, I tried to ignore Undertaker to the best of my ability, but he was squirming and moaning, making it very difficult to focus, his hands prodding me for attention.

Undertaker kissed me passionately, making my legs turn to jello and momentarily forget what I was doing.  
What was I doing again? Ah, Yes. Searching the brush. And drying the reaper to avoid him getting sick while I was at it.

I threw the towel away, he can do that himself, I want that brush and I want it _now_.  
"Taker move" I growled, glaring at the smirking reaper.  
I was just answered by a widening of his smirk and a teasing movement of hips.

...

I know where the brush is. It's fairly obvious, now that I look at it.

"Little Lia~!" Undertaker whined.

"Taker..." I blankly stared at the place the brush was bulging from its hiding place.

"No~!" The reaper all but screamed, when I put my hands on the brush, eyes wide and mouth open, cheeks completely red.

Got it.

It was behind his head, tangled in the locks. I don't know how I didn't notice, before. With all of the reaper's movements it had tangled even more, making it insultingly obvious where it was.  
It was so obvious that I feel disappointed in myself. How didn't I notice when I took out his uniform?

The reaper was squirming and complaining, crying about something or another.  
"Little Lia~! You are so cold~" he whined, hugging me with his cold hands and hanging off of me like a monkey.

I frowned at his words. I'm not cold. Compared to him, I'm very warm.  
"What are you talking about, you're the freezing one." I said, trying to squirm out of his freezing hands.

"Not that kind of cold little Lia~" The mortician whined, releasing me, but pouting quite hard, looking dejected.

...

Still don't get it.

"What did I do?" I mumbled, looking at the pouty reaper.

Undertaker sighed, as I urged him to turn around so I could brush his hair.  
"You're leaving me all wet, hot and bothered~" he whined, kicking his legs around with a pout.

"...but you're freezing...? And I did dry you a bit, if you're still wet you should get out of those pants. Get dry clothes." I pointed out.

"Not that kind of hot, dear~" The mortician sighed, resting his head on me.

...

...

Is he alluding to his attractiveness?  
"You're always hot" I said, truly meaning it.

The reaper coughed in surprise.  
"No I'm not!" He quickly shot back, alarmed.

...is Taker self conscious about his attractiveness? He shouldn't, he's very attractive. At least by my standards.  
Maybe it's the scars? He's still cute, even with scars.  
"...Yes, you are" I assured.

"No! I just..." The reaper fell silent, ears and cheeks red. "You're evil" he muttered, looking away.

What?!  
I'm- I'm not evil! I'm the good girl here! He's the evil one!  
He steals my brush and my toothbrush and my pajamas and my food and my heart... he steals everything! I just steal cookies from time to time!

I'm a good girl, I swear!  
"What did I do...?" I had just wanted to reassure him. I hadn't lied, I do think he's good looking.

"Awww~... come on little Lia~... don't make that kicked puppy face~... you know I'm weak for the puppy face~" he cooed, hugging me.

"I just... don't know what did I do, to be evil... I give you cookies, once and again..." I muttered looking away.

"It's not that, little Lia~... You're good, alright~? You're a very good girl~" he patted my head

"You're lying. You said I was bad" I mumbled pointing out the obvious lie.

"I said you were evil." He pointed out.

"That's the same!" I shouted, indignation clear on my voice.

"Well, then I take my words back, you're very cute, good and funny~... does that make you feel better~?" He asked, smiling at my pout.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He was smiling, sitting on the coffin, kicking his legs around, I was behind him, brushing his precious long hair.  
I decided to let the subject die. I wasn't evil. His face is evil. He should go bald.

"Well, I was about to ask your help with a little problem of mine, but our conversation actually took care of it for me..." he casually mentioned.  
Eh? Undertaker needing help with something...?

"That's... good, right?" I asked. If he didn't help anymore... it was good right?

He made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat.  
"More or less... I was actually thinking of dealing with it in _another_ way~..." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively "...if you catch my drift~..." he smirked.

"I'm not really catching anything, but okay." I mumbled, fighting against a knot on his hair, formed thanks to the mortician's choice of hiding place for the brush.

"..."

The reaper sighed, bringing me closer to him, making me sit on his lap. I had to give up on the knot. For now.  
"Listen carefully little Lia, I'm just explaining this once." I nodded, listening attentively. "When two people love each other very much~... are you listening, Little Lia~?" I nodded again, I was listening. I wanted to brush that knot, but I wasn't, I was listening like a good girl. "... alright... when two people love each other very _very_ much... are you _sure_ you're listening to me?" The mortician pouted at me.

"Of course I'm listening. Go on, I'm interested. What happens when two people love each other?" I wanted to know, what if it happened to us? I needed to be prepared. I could keep fighting with his hair later.

"... alright, don't say I didn't give you a chance to back out." He warned.

I blinked. What?

"When two people love each other very much, they want to make each other feel good~..." He _finally_ started explaining.

I nodded uncertainly. It was true.  
"...they kiss, and hug each other and they have a lot of fun~..." he kept going, blushing slightly.

We have done all of that, so far.  
I don't really understand the purpose of this conversation.

"...and then they have sex" he finished.

"Wait, What?" Things were going very differently, in my head.

Without witing for me to catch up, the mortician kept going. "...and if they pray _very_ hard to a god that won't listen and do the naughty a lot, then they're blessed, and god puts a baby in the future mom's stomach." He smirked at my expression.

I widened my eyes, horrified.  
"Tell your god to keep their pervert, grabby hands away from me" I warned.

"Little Lia..." he bit his lip, trying very hard not to laugh. Or cry. Hard to tell right now.

"Wait a second... were you giving me the talk?!" I finally realized.

"Well, thank you." The mortician brought his hands upwards in victory. "For a second I thought I wouldn't get through to you. I was starting to think _I_ would be the only one getting embarrassed, today" he grumbled.

"Wha- how- WHY?!" I muttered, embarrassed,

"Why did I give you the talk?" He asked, smirking.

"And involving your god in it! What business does God have, in our bed?" I accused, offended.

"Some people feel safer, with that thought." He simply stated, shrugging.

"Well I don't! I feel like your god invaded our privacy! I want to sue them! Give me the papers Taker!" I stated.

"It doesn't really work like that... and God doesn't really care much about what we do or stop doing in our bedroom..." he muttered.

"Your god is a voyeur!" I shouted.

"Little Lia no" he widened his eyes, biting his lips.

"Pervert! Pervert!" I wailed.

The reaper clamped a hand around my mouth, hastily shutting me up.  
"You may not get in trouble, but I definitely will, if someone gets offended~" he smirked, looking worriedly from side to side.

"Ih'm theh ohne ohfhendhed!" I mumbled from behind the reaper's hand,

"Too bad, little Lia~ sucks to be you" he simply said, not bothered at all.

I licked his hand, hoping to get his hand off.  
It didn't work.  
"Childish, little Lia. Very childish" he stated, not impressed.

"Tahkeeeer!" I whined.

"Well, look at that, seems like someone is quite eager to get rid of their relative, to come here even in this rain~. We will continue this conversation later~" he mumbled as he quickly shoved me inside a coffin.

"Takeeeeeeeeeeeeer!" I wailed. The shop is closed! I don't believe your excuses!

"Too bad I'll have to tie you up~" he muttered.

"Mhmmm! Mhm mhmmhn Mhmm!"

"Yes, just perfect~"

* * *

"Taker..." I started.

"Ducks eat roots, snails, grass, small fish and fish eggs, among other things." He interrupted, not looking up at me.

"..."

"..."

"Taker you're a wizard." I finally said, eyes wide. How did he know?

"Just a reaper, my love" he mumbled.

"A magic reaper" I continued.

"A very old reaper" he corrected.

"A magic witch that became a magic reaper" I stated.

"Not really~" he smirked.

"You're amazing" I said, awed at his magnificence.

"Just old" he whispered.

"You're a psychic!" I continued.

"Little Lia, that's enough~" he finally looked up at me.

"A psychic witch that became a reaper!" I insisted.

"Hi hi hi~" he finally giggled that creepy laugh of his.

"See! You even laugh like one!" I pointed out,

"Do you want to see what kind of magic I can do~?" He smirked.

I widened my eyes. That was new.  
"You can do magic? What kind of magic, can you fly? Turn back in time? Maybe teleportation?"

"No one can turn back in... Well, your clown is a cheat. And... well, Yes... But I was actually referring to another kind of magic~... one that only happens in a bedro-" he blinked, interrupting himself, seemingly realizing something. "...you know~? I just realized this conversation is pointless. You're not going to get it." He mumbled, looking away dejectedly.

"What? Maybe I will. Try me." I said, not really understanding why I wouldn't get his magic. It's magic, what is there not to understand? I can just say: 'it's magic' and there! All solved! I don't need to understand it. That's the magic of magic!

"Nope, there's no way you will realize the true meaning of my words~... which is quite sad~ hi hi hi~" he giggled... self dejectedly. That's a new one.

"Come on Taker, tell meee... now I'm curious!" I whined.

"I was going to propose an activity that would satisfy both of us~... making the bed comfy and warm~... something we did recently~..." he said suggestively.

"...Uh... more hints?" I asked, not really getting it, or why was that involved with magic.

"I'm always up for it~" he smirked.

"Alright..." I mumbled, thinking.  
Taker said that: 'Will satisfy both of us'... so it's an exchange of sorts... which the reaper likes a lot. Now, if it made the bed comfy and warm... it's probably exercise. And if Taker is always up for it, then it's probably a game.  
A game that requires physical exertion... and that we have played recently... could be...

No.

Please, anything but that.

"Wait. Does it involve a lot of Dexterity, agility and endurance?" I asked, wishing the answer was a big 'no'.

"Oh~ yess~" at this the reaper smirked, pleased that I was making progress in the guessing game.

"It's twister" I stated, certain.

"..." He stood silent.

"It matches perfectly, I taught you how to play twister two days ago, it's very taxing, needing agility, endurance and dexterity in spades. It's a game, so you're always up to it, and if we lay in bed afterwards, we will warm up the bed, making it more comfy. And it's magic because it's from the future. So it's Twister, I win the game. What do I get?" I asked.

"..." He just stood there, staring at me with a blank face.

"Can I... get a kiss?" I uncertainly asked, blushing a bit.

"Awww~ of course~!" He immediately agreed, smiling brightly.

"Because... I did guess right, didn't I? I mean..." he had been making a strange face...

"Your guess was... hi hi~... spot on, here you have your prize~" he smirked, kissing my cheek softly. I blushed from head to toe, even if I somehow felt like he was lying through his teeth. Well, as long as I get my reward, I'm happy.

"Now here" I touched my lips with my finger, blushing bright red.

"Awww~ hi hi hi~ so cute~" he giggled, complying happily.  
He kissed me on the lips. I had to hide my completely scarlet face on his neck afterwards. I was really happy, although a bit embarrassed.

"Hi hi hi~ what do you think if you and I went upstairs and I taught you something else we can do on our bed, besides playing twister~?" He mentioned.

I blinked.

Something else...?

He moved his eyebrows in that suggestive fashion that told me he meant naughty things.

Oh!

Oh, well...

I blushed.

"Yes. Well, I mean... I guess... I..." I looked left and right, uncomfortable. "Is... _He_ going to be looking...?" I uncertainly asked.

"Little Lia, God is not a pervert." He deadpanned.

"...so... is he?" I asked again, wanting to make sure.

"No" he blankly stated.

"How sure are you?" I asked, not convinced by his unimpressed face.

"I'm certain" he quickly answered.

"In a scale from one to-" I attempted to ask, being quickly interrupted.

"Little Lia~...!" He whined.  
The mortician, fed up with the current conversation pounced on me, kissing me to shut me up.

Alright, if he didn't like me calling his god a pervert, just had to say so, no need to resort to this.  
A pair of hands sneaked around my hips, bringing me closer to the owner of those hands.

The reaper pulled away for a second.  
"Just as a question, can we play twister later, right~? Talking about it kinda made me want to play again~ hi hi~" he smirked.

"Ah, sure. Do you want to play _before_ , or after?" I asked, blushing.

"Hi hi hi~ before, it does sound like an interesting foreplay~!" He giggled.

What?

"No it doesn't" I grumbled, confused and a bit scared.

"Hi hi hi~ yes, I definitely can think of ways to turn that game into an activity fit for a bedroom~" he smirked evilly, making me worry.

"Taker...?" I uncertainly asked.

"Hi hi hi~ yes dear~?" He answered, still thinking.

"Should I be worried?" I asked, already worried.

"Not at all~!" He smiled brightly, making me even more suspicious.

I don't believe him at all.

...

...

"Maybe I should check up on- ack!" I attempted to escape, just to get pounced on.

"Hi hi hi~! You're not getting away~!" He smirked, dread entering my stomach.

"Save me!" I shouted uselessly.

But of course, Biscuit was out playing in the streets when I needed them the most.


	29. Chapter 28

**Hey! New chapter! As promised, here is our favorite demon butler, ready to make Ciel's life a living hell.**

 **Without further ado, here are the comments to your love, lovely reviews. Did I already say how much I love your reviews? Becasue I do. I absolutely adore every single one of them. I spent the night of my birthday just re-reading your lovely reviews.**

 **guadadominguez4: haha, I honestly don't know how it turned out this way, little Lia has a very strange mind indeed. I already knew about freezer's hell, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of doing something like that. It's probably up to Lia, but I bet that it can't be that far off. Hahaha! Oh. My. Naughty naughty! I honestly don't think Tofu would allow that... or maybe he would. I hope it doesen't come to that! I really hope they know better! Thanks for reading and reviewing you're all so amazing!**

 **Esper Mammon: Dalia is a strange but cute mix of exasperation and obliviousness. Thanks for your reviews I love them all!**

 **jj510: Poor Taker indeed, he will just have to deal with it. I think he secretly like it. Oh my... I'm not sure Taker would accept that! Now that is an interesting thought, and don't worry, she _can_ teach, she just doesen't know _who_ should she teach. That's a cute thought! I would love to look more deeply into that! I might do it~**

 **steph557: ? OwO**

 **Guest: Haha! Thanks for your review! I love to see people liking it, it make me want to write more!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"Ciel" Phantomhive was going to die again.

He had thought that nothing could be worse than what he had already gone through.  
He had survived, so far. He had survived the impossible. And now he was going to die.

He had survived the Phantomhive Manor burning down, he had survived when his parents, his servants, everyone, died. _Even his dog had died._ And he didn't. He wasn't sure why, but he had survived.  
He had gone through a worse torment than hell itself. He had lost his brother, his pride, his innocence, his family name, the ownership of his soul... and he still survived, if only to make those that ruined his life pay.

And now he was going to die.

He wouldn't even need to go anywhere to make the arrangements for his funeral, his father's contract, the unsettling Undertaker, was in the same room and would probably take care of all that for him.  
The creepy man still wasn't going to lift a finger to save him, though.

Not even Sebastian, the demon that had taken his dog's name, would be able to save him. In fact, that vermin would probably be more than happy to claim his soul ahead of time. Contract to protect him be damned.

The newly decorated earl had thought that his aunt Angelina, better known in certain circles as Madam Red, was the person that gave the most suffocating hugs he knew of.  
He was wrong. And he was now paying for it.  
"Are you sure this is not a situation you need saving from, young master?" A silky voice asked from behind him, making his skin crawl.

"Shut up" He grumbled, not in the mood to let the demon tease him.

"Eaaaaaaarl... bwaaaaaah... bwaaaaaaah" The mortician's assistant, the usually shy and calm girl that always gave him sweets, had started _bawling_ her eyes out, an absurd amount of tears flowing out.  
Not satisfied with only crying, the girl had propelled herself against him with an unexpected amount of force, all but tackling him.  
He had only withstood the attack thanks to his new butler's hand on his back, steadying him.

"Eaaaaarl... bwaaaaah" She kept crying straight into his ear.  
Phantomhive tried to keep breathing, but it was really hard, thanks to the hug he was currently trapped in. He was going to die by a hug. His brother would laugh at his face, if he could see him now.

The mortician ignored the young Phantomhive's not-really-pleading look, looking amusedly at the scene unfolding before him.

His little assistant had surely surprised him. He knew that his little Lia held the earl in high regard, but he hadn't actually thought that she would gather the courage to actually jump him. She was usually really shy around strangers, despite her being… her. It was surprising, but not worrying as long as she didn't get close to the black haired butler.

As for me, I was glaring at the pest currently invading my space.

Dalia hadn't even deigned to pay attention to anything that wasn't earl-shaped, Undertaker had turned the corners of his mouth slightly downwards, but hadn't otherwise acknowledged the demon's presence in the shop, and Biscuit had made a bunch of friends in the shape of stray cats, and was currently playing with them a few streets away from here.  
So the responsibility fell to me, to put that thing in its place. This shop is only big enough for one demon. Or well… semantics.

The butler eyed where I sat on a shelf, where I managed to climb when Dalia all but dropped me to _glomp_ the Phantomhive kid, from the corner of his eye.  
The butler blinked, and I knew that he knew. I glared at him. The vermin smirked.

The mortician gave the documents he hadn't even looked that closely at, back at the Phantomhive kid, who was still trapped in Dalia's hold.  
He then proceeded to give the Phantomhive details he had about the woman's death the earl wanted details from. The earl listened as closely as he could from the girl's embrace.

While they were at it, I made a coffin fall on the butler.  
He caught it flawlessly, moving it to another place like that had been his intention all along, sprouting nonsense about how it was more aesthetically pleasing that way.

...

It _was_ indeed more pleasing to the eyes, now... but that meant jackshit. That stupid vermin wasn't going to make a fool of me!

I proceeded to try to screw the butler in any way I could, mindful to not let the humans in the room notice how everything was suspiciously "falling" on the demon dressed in black.  
The reaper didn't particularly care, and in fact, seemed to actively enjoy my attempts to chase him out.

I tied his shoes together. He just broke the laces of the shoe like they were made of paper, not even stumbling.  
I "covertly encouraged" the earl into tripping near the butler, making him think the butler had been at fault.  
 _The thing_ just steadied the earl, even managing to tease his contractor without getting more than a glare from said contractor. Dalia didn't even notice, she was too busy fussing around the earl like a mother hen.

I even pulled my favorite one, when it came to Dalia and Undertaker in their early years.  
I made one of the earl's belongings "mysteriously" end up in the Demon's possession.  
The damned butler just slipped it back without his young master noticing the disappearance, smirking knowingly all the way. That thing is teasing me! I just know it!

I had hoped the butler would at least get a pout. Dalia did it a lot, when her things disappeared.  
Probably the reason why the reaper had taken a liking to steal her things without my intervention.

I glared at the demon as hard as I could, wishing I could just set him on fire. I _could_ , but there was no way I could slip that past Dalia's notice. Wel… maybe I _could_ slip it past Dalia's notice… but not the kid's.

"That's quite interesting... now, about the payment..." the earl looked unsettled, the reaper had probably asked something outrageous as payment.

"Hi hi hi~ you know what I want, my lord~ give it to me~" The mortician got all close to the young Phantomhive, all but drooling in expectation.  
He got a glare from the still teary-eyed assistant, who was still protectively hugging the kid.

That just made him giggle, almost wiggling in place.

"That sounded very wrong, Taker." Dalia was quite spooked with Undertaker's choice of words, which probably meant that he would repeat them again, every time he wanted to unsettle the human in his care.

"Uh..." The earl didn't look much better. It was kind of funny how he tried to carry himself like an adult, and look sure of himself, but still gripped Dalia's furisode like he was a scared little kid.

After receiving a glare from Dalia that clearly stated: "Don't mess with the kid", the stupid mummy decided to give in.

"Mhmm~... I guess I _could_ give you a discount, my lord~... after all~... the face you made when my assistant hugged you was quite delightful~ hi hi hi~" The white haired mummy put a hand under his chin in a thinking pose, delighted when the earl seemed to immediately gain a new hope in his eyes.  
After a few seconds in which the mortician didn't add a 'but' they all decided that he was actually serious.

Seeing as he managed to avoid whatever disaster the mortician had planned, the kid was quick in trying to leave in case he decided to change his mind.

"How... generous of you, Undertaker. If that is so, I guess I should take my leave, then..." he turned to the barnacle attached at his side that was Dalia. "If you could release me..." He grumbled, looking away from the girl at his side to hide his rosy cheeks.

"No! ...come on... just another hug, the last one... and let me give you a cookie!" She wailed, not ready to part ways.

"Hi hi hi~ hahahaha!" The idiot mummy's giggles degenerated into a full blown laugh, as he threw his head back and guffawed to his heart's content.

The mummy had it right, in laughing. The kid was making a deliciously uncomfortable face. He looked like he didn't know what to say to get her off, looking at the reaper from time to time with a pleading face.  
The kid didn't know which of the two was worse, the mortician or the assistant.

"I'm afraid my young master has very important duties to attend to, and is unable to entertain you as a lady deserves. Rest assured, though, that my master has a great deal of respect for you two, and will come again, once circumstances allow us to." The pest finally stepped in, a wide smile that showed his badly hidden amusement at his master's predicament.

...

Dalia finally took notice of the proverbial elephant in the room, in the form of a demon clad in black, who was making a good job of ignoring my glares, seemed completely oblivious to Undertaker's distaste of him, and was even getting his master out of trouble.

The girl just stared. And stared. Then stared some more.

She finally leaned in Undertaker's direction, still not releasing the kid, and whispered, not very subtly. "Who's that?"

I snorted. The mummy smirked. The vermin sweatdropped still sporting that wide, fake smile. The earl sighed.

"That's the earl's butler~" the mummy answered, whispering too despite the obvious fact everybody could hear them.

"...Ah... And... What did he say...?" She kept whispering, looking at the butler like he had three heads.

"Hi hi~ The earl can't come and play today~ Maybe another day~" he giggled, amused at Dalia's obliviousness.

"...Ah... alright!" At this she smiled, turning to the earl with her normal voice, not whispering anymore. "Don't worry, earl. If you need anything, you know where to find us" she smiled, oblivious to the awkwardness of the room.

Well that went better than expected... which was bad. That damned vermin should have gotten a frying pan to the face at the very least.

Luckily, once the visitors had left, the human proved she was _slightly_ more perceptive than we gave her credit for.  
"What's up with that one?" She questioned once she made sure the visitors wouldn't hear her.

"Which one~?" The mortician acted stupid. Everyone knew who she was referring to, and it wasn't the earl.

"The butler. You don't like him." She stated, very sure of herself.

"Is there a problem with that~? I am not obligated to like everyone that enters my shop~" The reaper responded, a bit too defensively to be believable. The human narrowed her eyes, clearly catching onto the reaper's reticence.

"Yeah... But you don't usually just... _not like_ someone without reason" she attempted to explain.

"Can't I just have someone who I simply don't like, without reason~?" The idiot smiled widely, attempting to avoid her questioning.

"Like... his personality ruffles your feathers...?" She asked, apparently not noticing the subtle attempt to deviate the topic.

"Yes~" the old mummy agreed, satisfied that the conversation was moving away from the demon. "Something like that~"

"You _could_..." Dalia started. "But this isn't the case, now" The mortician made a dissatisfied sound in the back of his throat. It hadn't worked, Dalia was set on this. At least she hadn't noticed the attempt.

"Aww~ how come~?" He pouted at the failed attempt, trying once again to change topics.

"You don't like Tofu..." she started slowly, hoping he would deny her claim. He didn't. Tsk, the feeling is mutual, mummy. "And I don't think there's a reason for that... but this is different."

"Mhmm... you may be right, dear~..." the mummy gave in, admitting the obvious. "I do not like the butler... but I would rather keep the reasons my own." He dodged any more questions, using the 'my reasons are my own' card, which Dalia always accepted.

"Alright..." she mumbled, probably thinking outrageously wrong possibilities why the reaper didn't want to share his reasons.

"Don't feel offended, dear~... You're just not a very good actress..." the stupid mummy soothed, brushing the girl's hair aside a bit.

Dalia, who didn't seem to take offense at Undertaker's refusal to share his reasons for disliking that lowly filth some people called butler, actually took offense at Undertaker's last remark.

"What do you mean, I'm not a good actress?!" She asked, deeply offended.

"Remember that time you said you didn't steal any cookies~?" He asked, snorting when the girl's face remained blank.

"Yes..." she carefully enunciated. She didn't remember, her face said as much.

"No one was fooled, dear~" The reaper finished, even if he too, had realized his assistant had no idea what he was talking about. She wasn't fooling anyone right now, either.

"...I think I'm a decent actress..." she mumbled sourly.

"No." The reaper denied. "A decent actress would remember at least what she's supposed to say. A good actress can actually _improvise_." The idiot correctly pointed out.

"..." she spent a few moments trying to think of a retort, but gave up rather soon. "Well, your face is stupid and you look like a clown"

"Hey!" I exclaimed, finally gaining their attention. Both heads turned in my direction. "I take offense to that! Don't compare us!" I growled, not happy with being compared to the stupid mummy in any way.

"I... no... I didn't..." she attempted to clarify, but dejectedly gave up after a second under my glare. "Alright..."

Dalia started mopping, grumbling about acting classes and showing someone up.

The reaper steered the conversation elsewhere, to a topic he was more interested in.

"And you~?" He asked, leaning on the girl's face to see clearly what emotions ran through it. At this moment, her face showed clearly her confusion.

"Me? Me what?" The girl raised her head, previous sadness forgotten already.

"What do you think about the butler~?" The reaper attempted to ask casually, without much success. He was so obvious it only fooled Dalia, but then again, she was the only one that needed to be fooled.

"Eh?" The human confusedly mumbled. "I just met him. I don't really think much of him..." she trailed off, blinking at the face inches away from hers.

"First impressions~?" He insisted, clearly interested in having a piece of her mind.

"Uh... he's... nice? Maybe?" She said, not very sure what did the mummy want from her.

"Maybe~?" The reaper skeptically echoed. He clearly wanted details, and the current amount of information shared wasn't enough.

"Well" The human clarified. "I'm not sure, yet. I'm still deciding if he's just a total asshole under a mask of politeness or just really nice." She mumbled, tilting her head to the side, unconsciously mimicking the reaper who did exactly the same.

The reaper stared at the human for a few seconds with an innocent face.  
"...what made you think he may not be nice?" He finally asked curiously.

"Well, he's handsome, handsome people are assholes." She stated like it was a rule of the universe.

"..." The reaper went silent at her logic.

"What?" The human noticed the unimpressed reaper's face, and became defensive.

"...I don't know if I should be jealous because you noticed his physical appeal, happy that you don't think I'm an asshole, offended because you don't think I'm handsome, or just _done_." He explained. Then, as if he thought what he said last wasn't sinking, he repeated himself, more slowly. "Just... done." He didn't look very impressed with her, and was glaring at her with sharp green eyes.

"Who said I don't think you're handsome?" The human asked, rather affronted. "You are. But you're my prick, so I still love you" she stated like it was the most obvious thing ever, offended he might have thought otherwise.

"Aww~" the reaper put a hand over his heart, another nice word away from tearing up.

"Did that settle it?" She asked, completely oblivious as to the mummy's predicament.

"Yep. I'm happy~" He said, childishly happy. Just like the idiot he was.

"You're happy that you're a prick?" The human asked, confused.

"Not quite, but it's fine~" The reaper calmly said, not at all bothered.

And if the reaper was infuriatingly happy the rest of the day, Dalia certainly wasn't the one to complain.

That's my job. I complained like a bitch.

* * *

"Lia..." Undertaker's voice pierced through the fog of my concentrated mind, making me look at him and away from my newest project.

"Yes?" I asked, a bit warily. If he was interrupting me while I was so focused, it was probably important, and if it was important, there was a big chance I wouldn't like it.

"Teach me to mold clay." The mortician stated, looking determinedly at the clay I was currently molding in my hands.  
I had managed to make the minions move on their own and obey simple orders, but I wanted to see if it would still work with more complicated structures. Like a dragon. A fireless, pocket sized one, of course, wouldn't want to burn the shop to the ground.

"What? Why?" I asked, a bit concerned, he never sounded this determined unless he had a very good reason, Taker was more of a lazy disposition.

"I want to do something handmade for your birthday, but aside making coffins, I'm afraid I am not very good with manual things..." the reaper muttered dejectedly, looking at the halfway made dragon, currently a snake with legs.

"What are you talking about?" I blinked, pouting at the nonsense I was hearing. "I'm the one who doesn't know how to do anything besides cleaning! Don't be stupid" I said, frowning at the reaper by my side.

"Lia, you know how to cook, you know how to sew, you know how to make a... basilisk?" He interrupted himself, looking at the dragon I was making.

"Dragon" I corrected.

"But..." The mortician started to object, pointing at the dragon, but I cut him off with a glare.

" _This is a dragon_ , and it's not finished yet!" I glared at the reaper, wrapping my arms around the dragon protectively. Undertaker raised his hands to his chest in defeat.

"Anyways... you know how to make nice gifts~... I wanna know how to do it, too~" The mortician said, still looking at the dragon suspiciously.

"You know how to make coffins and put makeup on dead bodies" I glared at him for a while, but he didn't seem to see my point. "We both are good at different things..." I ended up explaining. "That's not bad." I finished looking at the mortician, who seemed to be in higher spirits than a moment ago. I wonder what happened that made him come up that foolish thought...

"I know~" The reaper giggled, delicately covering his mouth from view with a hand. "I still wanna give you something nice~... how about a coffin~? Would you like that~?" He giggled, poking my cheek.

"Another coffin? I already have the pink one..." I mumbled while looking at the forgotten white and pink coffin. "And I barely use it anymore..." I mumbled, a bit embarrassed to be caught not using his gift.

I don't think the mortician is angry though, as the reason I don't use the coffin to sleep is because... well, I sleep with him and the coffin only fits one of us comfortably. Two can fit if we're closely huddled together, which he wouldn't mind... but then there would be the Biscuit problem.

"Flowers?" The mortician's question pierced through my musings, and I worried I hadn't been listening to him. "A new dress to wear the day of your funeral~? Pink of course... Oh~! How about a pink cloth to cover your beautiful eyes~?" The mortician started wiggling in place, apparently delighted with my unresponsiveness. Which was good, because I needed a few seconds to realize he was offering possible gifts.

"Why do all of your gifts only become useful after I'm dead?" I deadpanned.

"Hihihihi~! So~... does that mean you will teach me, or not~?" He ignored my question, asking his.

"I guess..." I accepted, still unconvinced.

The mortician smiled, happily hugging me while I worked, explaining how I was molding the clay to make the statue I would later transform into a living clay structure.

Humm... I wonder if I could use materials other than clay. Like stone. A theory to be looked into, later.

"You know..." the reaper finally stated, looking blankly at the nearly finished dragon. I only needed to finish the details and paint.

"Yes?" I asked, tilting my head backwards to look at him.

"I think you were right from the start. We both are good at different things." He calmly stated, still staring at the dragon.

"Yes...?" I cautiously agreed. I'm not sure where this is going.

"So I will just... look for something else to gift you on your birthday." He finished, getting up to go somewhere.

"...okay...?" I asked, confused as to what happened. He didn't get angry right? Did I do something?

"Awww~ don't make that lost puppy face~ it pierces right through my old heart~! I just don't think I have what it takes to do... this." He finished looking at the dragon.

It wasn't cute. It was ferocious! Cool! Kind of... fear-me-little-peasants kind of cool. So... not bad. I liked cute better.

Next time I would try the cute puppy eyes.

"I just practiced a lot... and it kind of helps that it usually explodes if I do it wrong..." I mumbled.

That was the main reason why I couldn't make cute things. My clay apparently liked realism and tended to... not work if the figure I make has a head bigger than its body. Such a shame.

"I know little Lia... don't worry. I know what you like, and I will make sure you end up loving what I will give you. In fact, I have an idea."

"What idea?" I asked.

"..." he didn't answer, instead he smirked, getting a devious smirk as he turned away to go do something somewhere, completely ignoring me.

"Taker? Taker! What idea?! Takeeeer!" I shouted after him, but it was useless, he was already gone deep inside his mind.

* * *

I noticed the warmth first. It was a warmth like no other, I felt secure and loved in that warmth, and if things were different, I wouldn't have awoken.  
Sadly things were like they were, and I sadly noticed an intruder inside my mouth, forcing me to awake or choke in my bedmate's white strands.

"Blergh" I spat at least half of the hairs currently occupying my mouth.

"Good morning~" I heard a singsong voice by my side. Looks like someone is happy.

"Ack!" I coughed again, finally clearing my face enough to talk. "...morning" I croaked, still half asleep. And Undertaker wonders why I'm so grumpy in the mornings... he would be grumpy too, if he had to awake every morning with hair in his mouth.

"Aww~ is someone tired~?" My companion teased me. I was, and I wanted to go back to sleep.

"Go away, Taker..." I growled. Despite my words, I made sure to hug him tightly and used him as a pillow, just in case he decided to heed my words.

"You weren't saying that last night~" was the answer I got. I blinked for a second, before I kicked him out of the bed as punishment for daring to say something like that.  
"Ouch~" he crawled up into the bed again, apparently not ready to face the cold air with his bare skin nor the hard floor.

I slowly raised my head to glare at the mortician. "You're asking for a war, old man." And in the morning, no less.

"Awww~ my cute little assistant is so grumpy in the mornings~" he said as he slowly positioned himself again.  
Geez... I wonder _why_?

"Your cute little assistant is dead" I monotoned, hiding my face in his warm chest. He was usually cold, so this situation should be taken advantage of, before he went back to his normal temperature... then again, he probably stole this warmth from me in the first place.

"No she's not~" he whined. "She's not allowed to die. You're stuck with me forever." He moved a little, testing how willing I was to let him go to begin our day. The answer must have been 'not at all', because he settled again, retuning my embrace.

"Woe me..." I mumbled tiredly. "What a _terrible_ fate." I replied sarcastically, not at all against that outcome.

After that, a comfortable silence settled over us like a warm blanket. That is, until I remembered I forgot to buy our breakfast yesterday and had to do it this morning.  
I raised my head, looking around, too lazy to get up. I ignored the hand that was slowly caressing my leg, trying to convince me to stay.

"Where are my pants...?" I asked at the room, not really expecting an answer.

"I think I threw them over there~" The mortician helped, pointing at the floor right next to the bed.  
I crawled like a caterpillar towards the end of the bed, peeking over the edge. I didn't see my pants there.

"This is yours" I said, while I took the mortician's own pants and put them on.

"Then why are you taking them~?" The mortician asked, still sprawled on the bed.

"I need to go buy breakfast..." I explained. His pants were a bit big on me, but I could make them work, if I rolled the legs upwards a bit.

"With my pants~?" He gave me a once over. By his face, I knew he thought I looked like a kid wearing her father's clothes. If said father happened to be a mortician, of course.

"Yes. With your pants." I confirmed, not at all bothered. It wasn't like I was wearing _all_ of his clothes. Now, _that_ would be a little awkward.

"Good luck then~" He said.

"Okay. See you later." I waved at the reaper on the bed.

"Wait" He said, once I was almost ready and out of the room. "I'm coming with you~" the mortician smirked, jumping out of bed.

"Without pants?" I dared. I felt my eyebrows raise up to my hairline.

"Yes~" he playfully started swinging his hips from side to side playfully.

"You wouldn't dare" I said without thinking, rolling my eyes at him.  
Only when he turned around with a blank expression did I realize I shouldn't have underestimated Undertaker's lack of shame.

"I feel like I have been issued a challenge, dear~" he carefully stated.

"Taker no." I attempted to stop the impending disaster.

"Taker yes~" He refuted.

"Taker, you have more pants" I pleaded, desperate. A bead of sweat slowly falling down the side of my face, but I was too worried to wipe it away.

"Yes I do~" He agreed, but by the way his muscles ripped in tension, ready to sprint away at any moment, I realized that nothing I said would change his mind.

There was only one way to stop him left.

I threw myself at the spot the mortician had occupied barely half a second ago, as Undertaker had managed to dodge me, run to the door of the bedroom, where a crying Biscuit attempted to tackle him, desperate for attention after being banned from the room for burning the pillows.

"At him Biscuit!" I shouted, hot on Undertaker's heels. I jumped down the stairs, where a dazed Biscuit had been left behind by the fleeing reaper.

I ran into the shop, panting like a dog, just in time to see the mortician's hand turning the knob, ready to flee into the streets the way he came into this world. Naked, in his birthday suit, you name it.

I had first row seats to admire the reaper's blankly surprised face when he realized the door was locked, but sadly I had no time to lose, as the mortician was quick to put himself back together and try to unlock the door. In fact, he even had time to crack the door open a little bit, before I finally tackled him, dragging him upstairs to change.

I stood guard like a soldier next to the door, making sure the reaper was fully clothed with all of his layers of cloth on.

I felt a bit like a prison guard, but it was funny listening to Undertaker's whining and complaints, as I knew he wasn't really being serious. I had to battle to keep hidden a smile that would only encourage the mortician to act even more creepily and managed to drag him out of the shop.

"I'm hungry, little Lia~..." he was complaining just to be a bother, swinging his arms up in the air.

"I should have left you at home. Biscuit would have behaved better than you" I shot at him, pouting when he just sent me a wink. I looked away, acting as if I didn't see that.

"Aww~" He kept complaining. "But I'm so much funnier than the dog~" He pouted, either at my remark or at the fact I ignored him.  
I looked at him grumpily. I wanted to deny his claim, but if I did I would be a filthy liar.

"Yes you are" I conceded, unable to hide the smile that pulled at the corners of my mouth.

"Of course I am~ that cookie dog can't begin to compare~" he haughtily agreed, looking amusedly at my disgruntled face.

"I wouldn't be so sure. Biscuit has fur to their advantage." I attempted to defend, not wanting to hand over his victory so easily.

"Bah!" He exclaimed theatrically, "who needs fur when I have _this_ ~!" He proceeded to weave his hands into his hair and _swing it straight into my face_.

I wasn't amused, but I was very impressed, he almost looked like one of this adverts of my time for some hair product. I would have been able to see more of that movement if the hair I was admiring wasn't being used as a whip to whack me in the face.

"Alright, you win..." I sighed flatly staring at the reaper. "What do you want?" I asked, turning to the street that I knew led to the bakery, it was that, or the fruit store.

"A kiss~" He said, smirking at me.

"I meant for breakfast." I clarified.

"A kiss~" He persisted.

"You'll go hungry. Weren't you complaining a minute ago about being starved?" I deadpanned at the mortician.

"I want to kiss you~" he pouted. "And tea~" he blinked realizing he would really starve if he didn't add anything else.

"We have of that at home" I remembered, blinking. At least I think we did...

"Kisses~?" He blinked at me, tilting his head to the side.

"Tea" I clarified.

"I see" he mumbled, already lost in thought. "I think we should go to the bakery first, hi hi hi~ we could even stop by the fish store and buy some fish to fry~?" He teased, giggling like a witch.

"Over my dead body" I deadpanned.

"We can make fish soup~" he suggested.

"What's up with you and fish...?" I questioned, a little afraid to know the answer. "Don't tell me it's your latest craze craving, because I'm not sure I will be able to bear with that" I quickly panicked.

"Hi hi hi hi~ no dear~ I would rather we share a salad or something lighter~" He finally caved, revealing he wasn't that interested in the fish, after all. I sighed in relief.  
Huh. A salad wasn't a bad idea, as the hot weather approached, hot foods seemed less appealing than usual.

"Alright, then we're going to buy vegetables." I conceded, as I mused. Maybe we should also buy some fruit.

"Then this is not the correct path, dear~" The reaper casually mentioned not stopping to show me the 'correct path'. It was good, because I hadn't stopped either.

I looked around, narrowing my eyes at the familiar street.  
"There is no correct path, little grasshopper, after all, there is no spoon." I started spewing nonsense, looking at my surroundings blankly.

"Little Lia~?" I heard the reaper ask, slightly worried at my sudden sprout of nonsense.

"We are..." I distractedly wondered, certain there was a _reason_ why I was going this way. "Let's just continue..." I finally decided. Dalia of the past was usually reasonable and, seeing as I already forgot why I was going this way, she knew what was best.

"I don't mind going the long way, but~" The reaper started saying. "The shop is this way" he pointed at the street we just passed.

"We will take the long way" I insisted, cartain there was a reason why I wanted to go this way, even if I didn't remember. If I didn't listen to myself, who would?

"But~" He kept explaining. "The shop is in that street~. Why are you making such a long turn just to get to the place we already are next to~?" He didn't sound like he was very surprised I was doing this, rather curious as to why I kept insisting we go the wrong way, despite already knowing it took longer.

It didn't make much sense, but... I don't know. If only I remembered...

I sighed tiredly, giving up.  
"I guess..." I mumbled uncertainly, looking around. I guess the faster we get there the faster we will eat. I gave in, following the reaper back to the street we had just walked past.  
I walked behind Undertaker, looking from side to side, expecting something to jump at me from the shadows. I don't know why, but there _had_ to be a reason why I didn't want to come through here.  
As that thought entered my mind, I realized why I hadn't wanted to go this way.

I looked at our surroundings again. It was too late, we were already deep in their territory. Our only hope was to keep going forward.  
I took Undertaker's hand, who looked quite amused and not at all worried about what had made me act like this.

The answer was simpler that one might imagine: cats.

Lately, a bunch of cats had settled in this street, ambushing me every time I walked through here, stealing my groceries and forcing me to pay tribute to them in the form of fish, meat or milk.  
I kept looking around rather nervously, hands clinging to the mortician's robe, hoping that the older man's presence would be enough to keep those bullies away.

Thankfully, we were able to enter the stores without any problems, but as we were about to walk out of the street where the cats liked to ambush me, I was suddenly attacked by a very familiar cat.

"Well, hello little kitty~" Undertaker all but purred innocently at the black cat that had approached us, meowing and rubbing its head against my leg.

"Argh!" I tried to move away but the cat glared at me, digging its claws against my leg, acting like it was stretching and using my leg as support.

"It's a cute little kitty~! Don't tell me you're afraid, little Lia~?" The reaper teased, raising his eyebrows at my wary expression.

"I'm not scared! That cat is a thief and a bully! Don't believe its sweet lies!" I warned, glaring at the cat that was slowly but surely deepening the grip its claws had on my leg.

"Of course little Lia~" The mortician carelessly mumbled, petting the kitten's head.

"No! You're already under its spell!" I wailed. It was too late! The reaper was a lost cause.

"Why so much fuss about this tiny kitty~?" He said, without raising his head to look at me.

"This 'tiny kitty' is a bully that claws anyone that doesn't give it food!" I wailed, right before the cat decided to punish me for blowing its cover. "Ouch!"

"What are you talking about~? This innocent kitty wouldn't hurt a fly~" The reaper cooed.

"This 'innocent kitty' is currently using me as a scratching post." I pointed out.

"Is that so~?" He drawled, looking at the black cat attached to my leg.

The cat was completely black, with only two white spots on its front paws, mimicking socks, and a big spot in its chest and belly, looking like a refined gentlecat. I knew better. It's malicious green eyes were glaring up at me, reproaching the fact its cover was blown.

This cat was the leader of a band of cats, definitely not a 'cute little kitty', as the reaper said. This, was the cat I had nicknamed as Captain Socks the Terrible. For obvious reasons.

I saw undertaker eyeing the cat from the corner of my eye.

"Taker no" I warned.

"What~? I wasn't about to do anything~" He defended, raising his hands to his chest and away from the furry menace.

"You had that look in your eye." I pointed out. "You were about to pick up that cat and bring it home." I accused. Maybe not exactly take it home, but he had that look that meant he was willing to accept its presence around him.

"Of course I wasn't~!" He exclaimed, offended. "I already have enough pets with Biscuit, Tofu, you and Hercules~"

"Hey! Why was I included as a pet?!" I wailed, noticing his slip up.

"I did that~?" He asked with terribly fake confusion.

"Yes you did!" I glared at the mortician, who had taken hold of the cat that had started climbing me like I was a climbing rack.  
It didn't come off easily, and it did leave a few holes in Undertaker's pants.  
That's what he gets, for being an ass. Now, if only my legs weren't the ones that got hurt while the cat was being pried off...

"Taker let's just leave it here and go home." I pleaded, while the cat was sniffing at our groceries, clearly it's goal all along. This cat wasn't going to get anything else from me! It was getting a whole bunch of nothing!

The cat meowed, and at least ten other cats came out of the shadows.  
Great, here come the rest of those thieves. Maybe it was getting a few things here and there, after all...

"Hi hi hi~ why don't we just give them something~?" Asked the reaper by my side, completely unconcerned we were just surrounded by a gang of evil cats.

Captain Socks jumped out of Taker's arms and directly in front of us, barring us from our escape route, the rest of its band of misfits slowly stalking to our direction.  
I could almost imagine the smug monologue the cat would be making about being better than us, if the cat could talk.

Needless to say, we had to buy more groceries after that. Anything the cats wanted, they got.  
The only one who didn't seem to mind was Undertaker, who thought getting assaulted by cats was the funniest thing ever.

He should try to get his leg scratched, see if he liked that!

Humph! Dork!


	30. Chapter 29

**Hey! new chapter! I hope everyone enjoys it! I'm not going to hold you up much this Author's Note, so here are my comments to your lovely reviews. I know I say it a lot, but it's true, you guys really are amazing.**

 **Esper Mammon: Yep, Dalia is surprisingly perceptive in that sense, I was actually expecting her to think he was just "a kind butler helping the earl out" and be completely oblivious, which she is, but less than expected.**

 **guadadominguez4: Lia is just a cutie patotie. Tofu POV wasn't something I had actually planned, but it actually kind of happened, so I gave in to the clown's demand for some screen time.**

 **jj510: Don't dieee! The kitties just sneaked up on me, I swear I have no control over this story. I imagine cute Lia leading an army of cats, she would be unstoppable, I don't actually think Sebas-chan would be able to defeat her in that scenario... Luckily, she's more of a dog-person.  
Ho ho ho! Definitely, Biscuit made a bunch of troublesome friends indeed!  
It's my life-goal to make Sebas-chan fail horribly, so don't worry, if I have any say in it (which I actually don't, as this story apparently writes by itself) the demon will fail, even if it's just make him stumble down the stairs! I can only dream.**

 **Howard: Hello! It's always a pleasure reading that someone likes my chapters!It make me especially happy when I recognize you from past reviews, so thank you for writing! I remember your lovely reviews, and I want to thank you for writing again, it always makes my day!**

 **steph557: haha! Dalia really nailed it there! Yep, evil cats are definitely a thing.**

 **I'm thinking about making a special chapter or an omake based on suggestions from you all, and I would like to do it before the plot train hits us again, which won't be that long, but I'm still considering it... It would be a good exercice to practice my writing skils... yeah.. that. I like that excuse, so I will roll with that one.  
**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

' _Your skill [meditation] has leveled up by one!'_

"You seem to be working hard. Why is that~?" Undertaker asked me, after watching me level up in yet another, seemingly mundane skill.

"Mmph! Don't say it as if I usually laze around, you stupid old man!" I protested, turning to face the reaper with a pout.

I do work out! It just so happens that every time I do, no one is around to confirm it...

"Hi hi hi~ Of course, I didn't mean to imply that~" The reaper smiled, while putting both of his hands up in surrender.

I glared a bit before answering the question. "Tofu said that if I did this he would give me something nice..." I mumbled, thinking of what could the clown have been referring to.  
Maybe cookies... Yeah, definitely that… mhmmm…

"Little Lia... I'm sorry to break it to you, but it probably won't be cookie-related..." he carefully said, totally reading my mind.

I immediately snapped out of my daydream, pouting at the reaper in aggravation. "You can't know that! Tofu knows me and knows what I like! And he said he would give me something nice!" I wailed, realizing that he was most likely in the right, but still refusing to believe it.

"Don't you think that it will probably be an ability, to help you in your mission, and consequently helping himself~?" He stated, rather eloquently.

"..." I pondered the reaper's words, and found them to be disgustingly accurate. Ass.  
I just stared ahead, silently trying to convince myself that, even if it wasn't something to do with cookies, I would somehow manage to use it as such. It just needed a bit of imagination… which I didn't have.

"Little Lia~?" He asked, getting in my face and poking my cheek. I sniffed, ignoring him.  
If it's a fire spell, I could use it to bake the cookies! Yes, that's probably it. It has to be.  
Who am I trying to fool? Definitely not Undertaker. He totally knows I won't be getting what I want.

"It's okay little Lia~..." he reassured, petting my head. "I'll bake you cookies~" he chuckled, ruffling my head.

I turned around to look at him, feeling my eyes watering. So nice...  
"Takeeeeer...!" I grasped his uniform, clinging to him like a leech, crying as my hopes and dreams were crushed mercilessly, just as Undertaker picked up the pieces again to form a glorious cookie-shaped...

...

What was I saying again? I forgot myself in the cookies... no, really why was I clinging the mortician? What had I been doing?

Oh, yeah. I was leveling up skills! I released the reaper so I could go back to leveling up something.

"Why would the clown want you to level up useless skills, anyways~? Are you sure you just didn't misunderstand him~?" The reaper wondered.

I froze. Thinking back to Tofu's words. Now that I think about it, Tofu didn't quite say _which_ skill I should level, so I just... kind of chose the easiest one.

I looked at Tofu, who had been staring blankly at my progress for a while, completely blank faced to the point I was thinking he had gone back to acting as a toy, again. In fact, I am pretty sure he had been doing that for the most part while I was training…

"Tofu..?" I asked, wishing that he wouldn't prove Undertaker right. Because… that would mean that everything I did until now was useless.

"..." Tofu kept silent. I think this is one of those times in which his mind breaks and he's trying to pick up the pieces. If I'm right… then I should probably worry, he has been like that for a good half an hour at the very least.

"Tofu?" I tried again, before the clown finally decided to move, sighing exasperatedly and covering his face with his hands.

"I was doing it wrong... right?" I asked, more than a bit embarrassed. I tried to make myself seem even smaller than I already was, trying to avoid the toy's fury.

"I'm not... going to comment." The clown stated neutrally. That statement kind of speaks for itself, at least he didn't shout… although that's probably a bad sign. He seems to be growing used to dealing with my unusual processing skills and not just observing them. That or he's still trying to mend the broken pieces of his mind.

"I'm sorry..." I tried to pacify the probably angry toy, even if he didn't _look_ angry.

"Just... take this book, learn the skill and level it up." Tofu gave me a green book, looking like he was going to start bashing his head against something. "If you do I will give you another useful skill." he stated, still looking blankly ahead. I was getting quite worried with the toy's behavior… Maybe he's sick? "…and let me _finish talking_ before you get all hyped up and start doing something I haven't asked..."He quickly stressed, his eyes twitching a bit but nothing more. Tofu was actually being nice, for once... so I guess I will try to do as he says... Even if it only makes me worry more.

"Awfully nice, coming from you~" The reaper smirked, getting in the clown's face. "Something's up~?" The mortician leaned over the clown, looking haughtily at the toy. I'm not sure if the mortician should test the clowns limits while he's in this state…

Tofu, who had seemed so done just a second ago, suddenly started sprouting fire, glaring at the reaper like he could kill him with his eyes. I sighed in relief, smiling happily.  
That's the Tofu I know. Grumpy as always.

"Get off of my face, you old relic! I don't wanna get my eyes to start _bleeding_ from your ugly face!" The clown snapped. I quickly wiped the happy smile from my face. Hey, I take offense to that!

"Taker is not ugly!" I defended Undertaker's face... and my sense of beauty. He was handsome!

"Grr! You… Just learn the skill!" The clown snapped, looking away from me, apparently unable to look at me without looking like he wanted to tie me up and lock me up in some dark basement to forget I ever existed.

I did as told, trying to look disapprovingly at the mortician that was trying quite hard to get the clown to look at him, bothering him in any way he could, which were a lot. He really shouldn't push him further, the toy seemed like he was a breath away from retreating inside his toy mind.  
Thinking about it, that was probably the mortician's goal, which didn't actually excuse his behavior.

' _You have acquired a skill book [Physical Protection], do you want to learn this skill?'_

 _Y/N_

"Huh?" I mused. Physical protection...? Would this mean I would get less hurt, if someone attacked me? Yes, that would definitely be useful.

' _You have gained a new skill [Physical Protection]'_

"You're so useless and squishy" The toy clarified, making me shot my head up in indignation to glare at him. "...I just thought it would be bad if you got killed and I had to bother to bring you back." The clown explained, grumbling when he saw the mortician smirk. "Don't you look at me like that, pathetic mummy! I didn't do it for you!" I smiled softly at the clown, which prompted him to quickly turn to me to snap a " _Nor_ did I do it for _you_ , either!" before turning around to glare angrily at a random coffin, scowling at the wall, and refusing to look at any of us. "You can't even gain it properly... idiot." He grumbled nonsense under his breath, crossing his arms and scowling harder.

I hugged the clown. To think he had been worried about me... Tofu was actually a softie. So cute!  
"Thank you, Tofu." I smiled, thanking him sincerely.

"Sh-shut up you lowly human." He quickly grumbled, playing off the stutter as surprise. "I don't need your praise or your gratitude. Stupid girl..." Tofu was grumbling grumpily, looking at anything but me. So cute, so Tofu can make this expression, too...

So... "Can I use this to eat cookies?" I promptly asked, not finding any easy way to do it. Maybe this would help my tongue hurt less when I eat the cookies that are still too hot?

"Of course not, you idiot!" The clown immediately turned to me, shouting how much of an idiot I was.

I flinched at the unexpectedly brusque reaction. "Wah! Taker!" I cried." Tofu is so mean to me!" I turned to the reaper, who only caught me when I threw myself against him, chuckling and tilting his head in wonder, before he decided to play along.

"Awww~! Poor little Lia~ come here my love~ I'll make you feel better~!" The reaper said with a small blush on his cheeks and a big smile on his lips.

"Taker..." I blinked at him and his reaction, blushing myself. After taking a second to regain my wits, I proceeded to keep my act, looking at him like he was my savior and throwing myself against his chest. Resting my head in his chest was probably over-doing it, but any excuse to keep close to the reaper was as good a reason as any. I couldn't hide my blush, but it was okay, because it was Taker.

"So cute~" The reaper muttered, also blushing. A nice looking pink background seemed to appear behind us, full of hearts and pink skulls, as we stared at each other's eyes. He had such bright green eyes… almost like some kind of phosphorescent grass, but better. If grass was phosphorescent, of course, which is not… He seemed to have two types of green inside his iris… It was mesmerizing.

Tofu was staring at us disbelieving, and a bit disgusted. I buried my face on the mortician's chest to hide my major blush from the reaper who seemed greatly amused at my inability to look at his face without blushing and so the clown wouldn't see my satisfied smile. I was really taking a liking to this...  
"Go away! I can't stand your lovely vibes! It's giving me the creeps! I'm going to get cavities! Argh, go away!" Tofu cried of, shuddering and walking a few steps away from us, deciding after a second that it was better not to take his chances, and running out of the room.

"I somehow feel like we cheated." I stated, still burying my face on Taker's chest after the silence left by Tofu's departure stretched a bit too long.

After a few seconds, the reaper answered. "That's not important, little Lia~. The important fact is that we won~!" The reaper started giggling after this, wiggling from side to side, trying to keep himself together without much success, I could feel his shudders from where I had my arms around him.

...

Dork.

Alright! I will do as Tofu said and practice this new skill! After all, it will surely be useful.  
The mortician made a noise of displeasure when I jumped away, still unable to look at his overly gorgeous face.

Did I need to be attacked, for the skill to improve...? Or did I just need to cast it?

Well, only one way to find out.

* * *

When I woke up I was surprised to find the other side of the bed empty.

"Taker...?" I mumbled to the empty room, wondering where the reaper had gone to, as I didn't remember letting him slip through my hug this morning. He just kind of disappeared.

As I dragged my feet downstairs to eat breakfast, I had expected to find the reaper working. Instead, the shop was closed, and only Biscuit was in the house to make me company.

"Where did Taker go, Biscuit...? Do you know...?" I asked the dog, mindlessly walking to the kitchen, where I proceeded to take a bowl and spoon putting them on the small table.

I stared at them until I realized I was supposed to _fill_ the bowl. As I went to do just that, I looked around to see if I had somehow missed the reaper. No, he wasn't here.  
Once the bowl was full, I took a spoon and went to leave it at the table.

...

I blinked at the spoon already on the table. Then at the spoon in my hand. Then I looked at the spoon that I didn't remember putting on the table.

Huh... weird...

...

...

...

I felt my eyes widen, quickly waking up. NOW WAIT A SECOND!

Two spoons?! This is definitely suspicious! Why? Because we only own one set of cutlery!  
Aha! Your cover is blown, little spoon, now tell me your motives!  
The spoons are duplicating themselves! It's an invasion! They must have already captured Undertaker! I have to save him. He probably wasn't expecting the spoons to attack him and was too busy laughing to actually defend himself! This is terrible!

I grabbed both spoons, one in each hand, glaring at them with all my might.  
I will get to the bottom of this! I will make them talk!  
...hopefully, or else I don't really know they could have kept Taker hostage.

They weren't really... doing anything. I took a few cookies from a plate I found sitting there and walked upstairs with the spoons and cookies, munching on the latter. The cookies would help me think of a way to get the reaper's location form the spoons.  
Huh…

Alright, I'm not sure how I'm going to do this, but if I want to save Taker, I have to make the spoons talk. They know what's up.

"Happy birthday little Lia~!" A familiar figure entered the bedroom, happily waving his arms around. "I made you some cookies, but they mysteriously disappeared so... are you eating my cookies?" Undertaker interrupted himself when he saw me casually sitting there, eating cookies.

"Humhm?" I mumbled around a mouthful of freshly baked cookies. Oh… so he freed himself from the spoons… I guess it was a matter of time, it _is_ Taker we're talking about.

"Dalia! You're eating my cookies!" He wailed, getting in my face and pinching my cheek. Ouch. And here I was, worried about this ass, and what do I get? A pinched cheek, whoa, so much gratitude…

"I thought you said they were mine..." I grumbled sourly, pouting when the mortician hugged me. "And I thought you had been kidnapped by the leader of the spoon rebellion..." I blinked at the mortician holding me in his lap. "…But I guess you didn't need my help…" I mumbled, a bit disappointed I hadn't been able to help the mortician.

"Spoon rebellion~?" The mortician blinked, apparently not aware of the treason brewing right underneath our noses.

"Yeah... they are multiplying themselves, but I caught them before it got out of hand, see?" I showed him the two spoons proudly. I had stopped them from overthrowing our reign before It was too late, they could have gotten the forks into it, and if they convinced the knives we would have been doomed. So I _did_ help, I saved us all. He blinked, not seeing anything wrong with the traitors I was holding in my hand.

"Lia... I just bought another set of cutlery, there's no rebellion~ hi hi hi~... rebellion~... hilarious." He giggled under his breath, looking at the spoons. I inched away from the... 'reaper'.

"Who are you, spoon imposter?! You are not Taker!" I accused, glaring at the fake Undertaker. "Taker would never buy another set of cutlery! It's obviously a lie so I will release your companions! Now tell me, who is your leader?! I won't share my cookies with you!" I quickly shot, throwing myself against the big spoon disguised as the mortician so it wouldn't escape.

"Lia, it's me~... I bought these because you're always nagging me~... and if you have been to the kitchen you should have already seen your other gift~" He giggled at my expressionless face. Gift? Was he really Taker?

I didn't see anything in the kitchen when I was there last... then again, I wasn't really awake back then...

"I will look into your... 'proof' "I stated cautiously, still not convinced of the possible spoon imposter's identity. "…and then we will see if you're really who you say you are..." I grumbled, manhandling the man downstairs and into the kitchen, he came along without much fuss, which was good. He was way taller than me, if he really wanted, he could get rid of my grip in a second. "Here we are. I don't see any- Oh my GOD!" I interrupted myself, looking wide eyed at the most beautiful thing I have ever seen since… since I stared straight at the mortician's face yesterday night before falling asleep.

"I knew you would like it~... I still couldn't help but think it was a bit... cheap" The mortician rambled behind me, but I wasn't really listening, I was too busy holding back my tears. "So I also bought the cutlery. I still think it's a bit- woah~ are you crying little Lia~? Come one, don't cry sweetheart~" he mumbled, patting my back when I threw myself against his chest.

"Kyaaaaa!" I ended up screeching, hugging the reaper so hard I managed to raise him a few inches from the ground, which was an amazing feat. He was tall as a pole, and so he wasn't exactly _light_.

"I see you like it~" he smiled at my elated face. "Not sure why" he immediately muttered under his breath. "Little Lia... it's a chair, surely there is a limit on how happy you can get with that~?" He blinked, tilting his _beautiful_ head with his _beautiful_ face to the side. So beautiful I could kiss him right now! In fact, I should.

"It's a chair, Taker! A chair! Do you know how much have I been waiting for this?! I won't have to sit Biscuit on my lap anymore! I can actually sit while you and Biscuit are sitting too! It's so... beautiful... sniff… I'm just... sniff" I started sniffing, trying to hold in the sudden wave of emotion that suddenly came over me.

"There, there, have a tissue, love. And happy birthday~" He wiped my tears away, giggling when more immediately came out. He was apparently quite pleased with my reaction to his gift. It was the best gif I had received since… uh… since last time the Undertaker gave me a gift.

"Taker I love you" I mumbled right before I tackled him in a hug. I wasn't going to let him go. Ever.

* * *

"Fight me!" The blond reaper that liked to annoy us was back, probably to annoy Undertaker.

Ha. Sucks to be you Taker.

I really have come to like Mr. Dimwit's appearances, as he usually only bothered the older reaper, even if he _did_ have a horrible timing. But at least it was good that Taker got what was coming to him once in a while. And I know that he now sort of looks forward to beating Mr. Dimwit to a pulp.  
Naughty Taker.

"Have fun." I simply stated, turning to leave the reapers to their reaper devices. Or in this case, fight… or more like a beating, actually. You can't call using someone like a rug a fight, can you?

"Wait" the glasses wearing man said, prompting me to turn around and look curiously at him, as did the mortician, who was tilting his head to the side. Taker had been making his way towards the uninvited man, which was probably the reason behind the man's panicky face. Oh? It seemed like Mr. Dimwit _could_ learn. After years of beatings.

"I have realized which my mistake was all along." He started seriously, making me wonder what had the reaper been doing wrong, aside from always coming back to get beaten every time.

We waited to hear what he would say, as it was quite interesting that he had bothered to even enter through the door, rather than some window... The thought just made me brood gloomily at thin air.  
Our poor windows... he broke so many already...

Mr. Dimwit turned around and pointed directly at my face, making me snap out of my stupor.  
"Fight me!" He shouted in a similar fashion he usually did when he wanted to fight Taker.

...

Uh... what?

"W-why...?" I stuttered, confused, shaking my head from side to side in both a denial and an attempt to clear my head.

Mr. Dimwit usually only wanted to fight Undertaker, not me! He usually ignored me, and let me tell you I was perfectly happy with that.

"I have realized that to have him take me seriously, first I have to defeat you, who usually fights with him." He stated like it was basic math.

Say what again? I don't fight with Taker! Well, yes... but only to train... he probably means that. That still doesn't justify things! "If I defeat the person that he usually fights with, he will be forced to acknowledge me and fight me seriously. I will defeat you quickly, just stay still!" He shouted as he ran in my direction.

"Ahhh! Waitwaitwaitwait! I don't wanna do this! I-" I tried to reason with him, as I avoided his attack, running in circles around Undertaker, who seemed pretty content to let us do whatever.

"Kick his ass, love~! Hi hi hi" He encouraged me, giggling and looking at us as we played a game of cat and mouse around him.

"Are you mental?! I _can't_ defeat him!" I exclaimed, Undertaker was seriously out of his mind, if he thought I could beat a reaper. Although I did send him out of a window once, didn't I? But at that time he was probably caught off guard, beating a reaper cannot be that easy, even if it _is_ Mr. Dimwit.

"Come on, little Lia~! You fought worse things~. Remember that Moray eel~?" He tried to give me some courage, failing horribly. I shivered in fear the second I remembered what he was talking about.  
Nonononononononononono. Not thinking about it. Not even my nightmares would dare bring that memory back. That's taboo.

"Taker! We _don't talk_ about that! And that is hardly an example, as I fainted right afterwards!" I snapped, not wanting to remember that particular fight. I wailed internally, remembering the ugly, _giant_ eel that still haunted my thoughts every time the river dungeon was as much as _mentioned_.

"But you were so brave~!" The reaper gushed, putting his hands together and blushing, trying to make me feel better by acting like a goof. It did at least move my thoughts away from that horrible experience, so I did feel a bit grateful for his efforts.

I grumbled, looking away, which... was admittedly not a bright idea, as I had to dodge an attack to my head from Mr. Dimwit, who was _not giving up_.

I decided it was in my best interest to run away from the man until he gave up... which I actually doubted he would. The man spent three years dutifully attempting to defeat Undertaker before even thinking of an alternative.

I sighed in despair. I'm done for. Maybe I should just let him smack me around a bit...? I would even get to practice the Physical Protection Skill... but I don't want to get smacked around... it hurts.

Should I maybe... do as Undertaker did? I mean, it was rude... but maybe he would leave me alone then? Or not… It would probably take another three years, but…

Fleeing, I had managed to run out of the shop when I turned around, clenching my fists around the sotoba I had taken out of my inventory, and waited for Mr. Dimwit to follow me. I was going to do it! Definitely!  
I was trembling a little, but I prepared to use the Power Strike, and also casted the Physical Protection Skill, just in case I got hit.

' _[Physical Protection] has leveled up by one!'_

It was ridiculously easy, when after a mental apology to the reaper, I slammed the glowing stick-of-doom into the blonde's face, hearing a crack that I hoped very badly were just the glasses, and sending him flying. The young reaper didn't even attempt to defend himself... or maybe he simply was that pathetic. Uh… actually it's a bit hard to know which of the two options the correct answer is.

At least getting out of the shop before sending him flying was a good idea, as I didn't want to break anything inside. Sadly I didn't quite think that the angle we were in - _me facing the shop's door_ -, would send the reaper straight into the shop's sign with a crack that I wished wasn't the sign. After a beat, in which Mr. Dimwit was firmly glued to the sign, the reaper slowly fell to the floor, the sign following suit a second later, and falling straight on the reaper's head.  
I just stared in detached horror at the mess in front of me, wishing I had just let him hit me.

...

Oopsie. I swear I didn't want to break anything… or anyone.

...

I looked at the broken sign, and then at the broken reaper, finally looking at the door where I could feel Undertaker approach us to see what _we hadn't_ broken.

Before the door even opened, I had already transformed into Chibi Form, throwing myself at the reaper, crying rivers as I pleaded and begged that he wasn't too angry.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! Mr. Dimwit was just... I just... bwaaah!" I had firmly attached myself to the mortician's hip, as he looked blankly at the broken sign, the unconscious reaper and crying assistant. "I'm sorry, it's my fault! Bwaaaah!" I wailed, not letting the mortician properly process the utter mess I had caused.

"It's fine little Lia~, the sign was old anyways~, and the reaper was being a bother, wasn't he~? Hi hi hi~" He laughed, petting my hair and kissing both my cheeks and lips. "I'm not angry, see~?" he mumbled as I slowly stopped wailing. He... didn't seem angry.  
I uncertainly nodded, sniffing a bit and wiping the tears from my cheeks, getting comfortable in his arms. I was really sorry… I hadn't meant for this to happen… I should have been more careful… it's my fault, I'm so sorry… "Sorry…" I finally mumbled, hiding my face from view of the reaper so he wouldn't see I was crying again.

I felt horrible. I really didn't mean to break anything... I didn't want to break Mr. Dimwit either, but him getting hurt was kind of a given, and I already had it assumed. More or less, it still didn't make me feel any better.

It was also Tofu's fault, as he had been the one telling me what I should level up. I knew I shouldn't have increased my strength, but I did because it seemed such a reasonable request.  
I attacked with the sotoba, which needed strength, and my intelligence and wisdom were already quite high, for my magic attack, at the time it had seemed like a good idea... I'm so sorry… it's my fault, I shouldn't have listened to the clown…  
Of course leveling Vitality was just being smart, I didn't regret that one. Maybe I should only level that up, from now on? I sniffed again, holding the mortician tighter in case he decided he was angry after all, and made me go away.

Undertaker simply put the sign in its place, kicked Mr. Dimwit straight into a nearby trash can, kissed my forehead and went back inside the shop, skipping like a schoolgirl. He was probably happy to get rid of the reaper, as I would probably have to deal with him from now on.

Why meeeee?! It was perfect, Mr. Dimwit bothered Taker, I got to see a show, the annoying reaper got his fight, and the mortician got his comeuppance. Everyone was happy!  
And now I have to deal with this. Why?! I even managed to send Mr. Dimwit strait into a wall, he's definitely not letting me live this one down…

This sucks, and I'm still sorry.

"Come on, little Lia~... don't pout, breaking the sign just means you are becoming stronger~" He attempted to reassure me for breaking the shop sign. He really shouldn't, it's my fault. "That's good~ it means you're able to defend yourself~" He said, rubbing his cheek against mine, knowing I liked that.  
I grumbled and looked away, trying to hide my blush.

"Come on little Lia~" he pouted, blinking at my red face. "I will even bring you somewhere~" he added, poking my cheek.

"I don't want to go anywhere..." I grumbled grumpily, covering my poked cheek with my hand.

"You will like it~!" He said. "Probably..." he blinked at nothing, lost in thought. I blinked sotly at the mortician's flank expression, waving a hand in front of his absent face.

"Where would we go?" I wondered, a bit curious about the reason why he had made that face.

"I don't know~!" He exclaimed, way happier than he should be in this situation. I just broke his sign. "Isn't that exciting~?" He said, almost drooling at the thought. I shook my head, strongly disagreeing.

"No. If anything, it's scary." I tersely answered. "Scary and worrisome." I added, sniffing from time to time.

"We will have fun~!" He said, already lost in la-la-land.

I sighed, deciding to give up. A small smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. I am glad he's bot angry…

"Alright, whatever you say, just... don't..." I started, not knowing exactly how to phrase what I wanted to say. "Just... _don't_." I ended up saying. I had wanted to say not to go overboard, but worst failed me once again, so I could only hope he understood the message _and_ decided to heed it.

At least I got a kiss on my cheek, which sent a blush through my face, making me hide it by pressing my face against the mortician's chest.

Probably his intention all along.

* * *

"Taker... please don't do this..." I wailed, holding onto the mortician's robe as I kneeled in front of him, my legs unable to sustain my weight, and tears threatened to fall from my eyes, as the reaper's impassible eyes looked down at me.

I locked eyes with the reaper, silently pleading, but the reaper's eyes were cold and unmovable.  
"Two more laps." Were his cruel words as he stoically withstood my puppy eyes.

I threw my head back and wailed.

"Come on little Lia~..." He pleaded, eyes softening. "I'm doing this for your own good... just one more lap and I will give you cookies." The mortician's mask cracked at the sight of my tears, showing that he did indeed care.

I was always up for cookies, so I accepted the reaper's bribe and got up, albeit with a bit of difficulty.

We were currently training my stamina, which translated into improving Vitality.  
Training speed and reflexes improved my Dexterity, and training strength improved... well, Strength, obviously.

"If you want, we can change into Strength training, after you level up." The mortician offered, seeing my pathetic face.  
I sniffed, nodding. Sadly I had to start doing laps, if I wanted to level up. Even if I wasn't sure if I really wanted more strength, I wasn't really allowed to laze, or else I would get two set of stern eyes glaring at me until I did, and while I was confident I could ignore Tofu's angry glare, there was something to Undertaker's disapproving stare that made me want to crawl to his feet in forgiveness with a mere _look_.

I started doing laps. While it was convenient I could regain my strength sooner than normal, all of that actually meant nothing in Vitality training, as the point of it was not stopping at all until you drop dead… more or less, that's not the goal, but it sure feels like it.  
That made it the most horrible stat to level, and I'm even including Dexterity, where I felt like I was about to break if I was force to bend just a little _more_. What made that most humiliating, because Undertaker could do it in a second without breaking a sweat. _Undertaker_. I swear his limbs looked made of _flowing water_. I wonder if reapers have bones…

...

' _After training your endurance, your Vit has leveled up by one!'_

I immediately dropped to the floor, dead. The mortician looked up from the papers he had been looking at when he saw me fall. He smiled widely at my exhausted expression. The ass enjoyed my suffering, there's no doubt about it.  
"Done already~? Hi hi~" He giggled, leaving the papers aside and getting up.

"Urgh..." I panted, the cool ground felt nice on my cheek, as I felt like I was on fire. So cool~ This is heaven…

The mortician walked up to me, standing over me before wrapping his cool arms around my body, prying me off of the ground and lifting me up. He kissed me softly before muttering something about tired puppies. I was a bit busy _dying_ to listen properly. I was also kind of mourning the loss of the col nice ground, luckily the mortician made a good replacement, as he was also quite cold.

"I have an idea..." I drawled from my place where I was hanging off of the mortician like a sloth, too tired to talk or walk properly. "How about I throw heavy things at you to improve my accuracy and strength and you avoid _some_ of them?" I offered, praying he didn't notice the slight slip.

"Only _some_?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Damn, he _did_ notice. "Little Lia~? Are you trying to kill me~?" He asked, more amused than offended.

"No! Of course not!" I quickly said, afraid he thought I _really_ wanted to kill him. "Just... a little bodily harm. All in the name of my mental stability." I said, hoping he didn't take it seriously.  
I wanted to throw things at him in the vain hope they would hit him. I didn't want to actually hurt him.

"Strength and accuracy training... you say~? How suspicious~ hi hi~" He teased me, giggling and touching my nose with his, ignoring my previous words.

As my stats improved, it became harder and harder to level them up. It took more time and effort to level up, and it was becoming way easier to just kill things to level up and improve my stats, rather than training them the old fashioned way.  
While I had managed to improve my stats to a point that I always blushed when I saw them, it had taken me three years of constant training to get them at this point, at least my physical stats.  
I did read books to improve my Wisdom and Intelligence, but there was little I could do to improve my luck other than by leveling up. And it showed when I saw my stats, especially in Intelligence, as those skills had started to be left behind because I didn't improve them as constantly as Str, Dex and Vit.  
Of course, I had leveled up Luck like crazy with the points granted from every level up to get loot, so at least that stat was decent.

 _[Name]: Dalia  
[Title]: Sensei  
[Race]: Human  
Lvl 123_  
 _Exp: 14% (1471 Exp)_  
 _Hp: 1075 Hp_  
 _Mp: 1229 Mp_

 _Strength: 121  
Vitality: 170 (155+20) _  
_Dexterity: 142 (135+7)_  
 _Intelligence: 87_  
 _Wisdom: 128_  
 _Luck: 145_

 _Points: 0_

Looking at my stats and thinking that 145 of luck is 'decent' is... worrisome. Was I getting too used to being strong?  
No, right? No. This is normal, Taker is even stronger. More than twice as strong, last time I checked.

Although I suspect I shouldn't look to an ancient Grim Reaper to know what is considered as 'normal'. Gut feeling talking there.

No. I'm definitely overpowered. At least for a human. I _think_ I'm overpowered, as that asshole Zachary was a bit stronger, too...  
Wait, no. He was a cheating bastard, he doesn't count, even if he _is_ human (theoretically).

Another way to become stronger was through leveling up my skills, and that was a bit easier to do, but I didn't need Taker's help for that.

Now, if only half of the skills I had weren't things like [Cooking], [Sewing], and [Cleaning], I'm sure I would be able to at least land a hit on the reaper that didn't involve the Rainbow attack. Probably.  
I actually suspect Undertaker _likes_ being hit by the rainbow attack, as he never bothers to dodge.

At least I think I could be a pretty good badass housewife... that would be pretty good anime material. Although only if I'm not the one inside said anime.  
I wonder if there was any anime about badass housewives... I would like to see it...  
I sighed longingly. If only I had a TV... or a computer... but sadly, while I think TVs _did_ exist here, computers and even anime weren't.

After three years without internet, I'm still longing for it, I don't know how I survived the first year dealing with withdrawal.

"Little Lia~?" Undertaker caught my attention, as he smirked knowingly and showed me...

"Cookies!" I exclaimed, almost crying in happiness.

Undertaker, with a batch of recently baked cookies in hand, was the most beautiful thing I have _ever_ seen since... the Undertaker with a batch of cookies in hand from three hours ago.

"I love you!" I said as I lunged the reaper and cookies.

"Hi hi hi~ I know, I'm very loveable~" He muttered with false modesty, taking a cookie for himself before I ate them all. "Lia don't stuff your mouth with cookies, you will choke~" he giggled, creepily muttering something about making me a nice pink coffin with a cookie-themed lining.

What would I ever do without this dork?


	31. Chapter 30

**New chapter everyone! I thought about the omake thing, and while I won't promis I will be able to do it for every chapter or for every suggestion, as I am a bit busy with life, I will still try my best. So if someone has a suggestion they would like to see developed, you can comment it as a review and I will try to add it as an omake. I don't promise I will be able to do it for every comment or every chapter, but I will try.**

 **Without further ado, the comments to your absolutely lovely, heartwarming reviews:**

 **guadadominguez4: Poor Dalia, she does make potato faces when she doesen't understand something, so it's not cruel to laugh at her. And she _is_ an idiot, even if she's so cute that she makes us feel like monsters for saying that.  
Mr. Dimwit's real name is Julius Brown, but no one remembers that, it's too dignified of a name for someone like him. **

**Lavendor Queen: I'm afraid they will stay at this stage for a while yet, as the plot train is nearly upon us. We will see, once things aren't as frantic anymore.**

 **Esper mammon: Woah! That's a cool idea, I'm totally imagining Undertaker refusing to cosplay as himself because it's "too boring, I always dress like this~".**

 **mayfire21: Honestly, me too. I totally see her the awkwardly shy but moe housewive that ends up being able to beat the shit out of anyone that steps on the recently cleaned floor.**

 **Howard: I'm really glad to hear that! I will keep doing my best!**

 **Disclaimer: Yana Toboso owns Black Butler, I don't.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

I sighed, looking at the reaper next to me, equally wet as I was.  
"How come bathing Biscuit is so exhausting? It's not like they are that difficult to manage..." I noted, exhausted by the recent activity.

Biscuit didn't behave badly, when we bathed them, they stood still for the most part, starting their escape attempts only when they started getting bored. Despite this, I always ended up wet, full of dog hair and exhausted.

"I think I will be taking the bath next... I'm full of dog hair." I stated, seeing as the reaper was too busy getting dog hair out of his mouth to answer. How did he even...?

Not questioning.

"Get out Taker." I shooed the mortician away before stripping to get into the newly filled bathtub.  
The water was a bit too hot for my taste, but I would endure it. At least it wasn't dirty.

* * *

When I got out I was met with the sight of Undertaker getting ready to enter the bathroom right after I got out.  
He was without his uniform, with a towel in a hand and a change of clothes in the other. Absolutely _nothing_ else.

Let me repeat he wasn't wearing his uniform once again, to reiterate the fact he wasn't wearing _anything else_. Or anything at all.

I widened my eyes, shamelessly looking at the man as he passed me. I managed to scramble my brain cells together to string a few sentences before he closed the door.  
"Wha- What do you think you're doing?! Put on some clothes! You pervert!" I exclaimed, my whole face completely red.

The reaper blinked innocently, turning to look at me. I looked away.  
"But you were the one looking~? That makes _you_ the pervert~, doesn't it~?" He smirked, teasingly moving his hair aside. "I left the dirty clothes in the bedroom, we will be leaving when I'm done, so don't eat any cookies~!" He giggled, closing the door on my face.

"I'm not your maid! And I'm not a pervert! Your face is a pervert!" I screeched in an attempt to preserve some of my pride, although my face didn't really help, as it was a very nice shade of crimson.

The door opened again, the mortician's face visible through the crack. I leaned in to listen to what he had to say.  
"Of course not~" He appeased me, leaning his face towards mine through the crack. "You're my lovely little assistant~" he finished, leaning towards me and kissing my lips before retreating again inside the bathroom, leaving me there with a stupefied face.

"You- you-you-... you're a dork!" I shouted at the reaper, who I heard giggling inside the bathroom.

After angrily putting the mortician's uniform with the other dirty clothes I should clean but couldn't because I was busy procrastinating, I grumbled, clumsily stumbling downstairs as I looked for Biscuit. I didn't want them to get dirty again so soon after cleaning them. Thankfully, it wasn't long before I found the dog outside, drying in the sun.  
I was aware letting Biscuit dry outside was a double edged weapon, as the dog could easily get dirty again, instead of dry, but I was willing to give Biscuit a chance.

I watched the dog like a hawk, careful they didn't get any dangerous ideas. Just because I was giving them a chance didn't mean I wasn't going to keep a watchful eye over them.  
Biscuit looked up, wagging their tail when I decided to join them, sitting next to them and petting them while enjoying the surprisingly nice weather. You didn't get to see this lovely sunshine in London every day, and it would be a sin to waste this precious rays of golden warmth.

Undertaker found us there, basking in the sun together. He was thankfully dressed this time, although he was wearing very fancy clothes, instead of his uniform. It could be because the uniform was dirty, so didn't think much of it.

He blinked at me, tilting his head as if confused.  
"Are you ready to go~?" He asked, to which I blinked confusedly myself. Where were we going?

"Uh...where?" I asked, remembering he mentioned going somewhere right before he entered the bathroom, but not any specifics. It had kind of slipped my mind.

"We are going to the theater~" he simply stated, like it was the most normal thing ever.

"Uh...why?" I tersely asked, completely lost.

"We are going to see an acquaintance of sorts there, she is going to preside the final act held today, and I wouldn't want to miss it~ hi hi~" The reaper explained.

"Uh... alright..." I said, unconvinced.

"I would suggest you dress nicely, as it is a big deal~" He gave me a piece of advice, proving my assumption wrong, regarding his fancy clothes. Said fancy clothes consisted of cream colored pants, a white shirt and a black cardigan of sorts.  
It wasn't as fancy as a suit, as Undertaker wasn't one to wear suits, and I guess that, to this time's standards, it was actually casual. I still found it fancy.  
And it suited him very well.

He had his hair out of the way, for once. He had it pinned up with a clip of sorts to the side of his head, and his eyes and scar were fully visible.  
He almost looked like another person.

"What are you looking at~? Something you like~?" The reaper teasingly asked, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows.

I blinked, confused with the question. It was obvious I was looking at him, right?  
"You" I honestly answered, not really understanding the meaning behind that question.

The mortician blinked, surprised with the unexpectedly blunt compliment, blushing slightly and curving his mouth into a foolish smile.

"You're too precious, dear~" He sighed contently.

I blinked again, confused. "Why...?" I asked, but I didn't get any answer, as Undertaker took my hand to guide me inside the shop and upstairs, to the bedroom. There, he started rummaging through my clothes.  
"Uh... Taker, that's my side of the wardrobe... those are my clothes..." I pointed out, not sure what the mortician was looking for.

"I know dear~, I'm looking for that blue dress you wore once~" He explained.

I only owned one blue dress, the one I wore when I went to Phantomhive manor for the first time. It was the one that had a corset. That damned… thing. Torture device, I tell you.

"Taker... I don't wanna..." I complained, knowing full well that if the mortician found the dress, I was done for.

"It's the only proper dress you own, dear~... Unless you're willing to let me get you more~..." he started, letting the question hang in the air.

"No" I quickly shot down.  
No way was I staying still for whoever long it takes for my measurements to be taken. Not again, I learned my lesson the first time. Shopping here is not the same as what I used to understand of the concept of shopping. Not that I had liked the other one either.

"Then help me search~ hi hi" the mortician giggled, shoving his head inside the wardrobe we shared in an attempt to get to the small space of what was considered 'my side of the wardrobe'. Really, the reaper owned more clothes than I did, so my space was actually swallowed by his.

"Uh... no?" I uncertainly said. I mean... I would have to be stupid to help him search for a dress I don't want to wear. Besides...

"Lia... you don't have that many clothes... care to tell why I haven't found the dress yet~?" The reaper got his head out, staring at me with accusing eyes.

"You haven't...? What a..." I scrambled for a word that would immediately sell me out. "Surprise. Are you sure the moths didn't eat it all?" I offered, praying he would believe the obvious evasive attempt.

"Lia. Where's the dress." It wasn't even a question. I could feel his eyes digging holes on the side of my face, his hand extended in my direction in the universal sign of: 'give me the damned thing right now'.

"Burning in hell, hopefully." I stated, by now having given up on the pretense. With Undertaker, it was kind of pointless to lie, as he apparently sniffed out lies like a freaking bloodhound.

"Lia..." the reaper warned, closing in on me to prevent an escape. His mouth was smiling wide, revealing that he though my attempts amusing, but his chartreuse eyes showed he was completely serious about getting that deathtrap on me.

"Uh... I don't know where it is... maybe Biscuit ate it?" I looked away, avoiding the reaper's stare. If I looked at his eyes, I would break down. I swear the mortician can read minds. Or he just knows me that well. Whatever the case, if I look into his eyes, I'm done for.

"Lia" Undertaker got his 'this is your last chance' tone, making me squirm in place nervously. It was never good to mess with Taker's last chance tone… hopefully his patience won't run out… or well… I hope it does run out, so he stops pestering me, but I don't want him to get angry…

I really don't want to put that thing on... I attempted to inch away, the reaper having none of that.  
"Uh... I forgot" I quickly mumbled, a last attempt to shift the blame away from me.

"Try again, little Lia~" my companion wasn't fooled for a second, and I finally made the mistake of looking into his eyes. "Mhm...? Your coffin~? How smart coming from you, I wouldn't have thought of it~" I flinched, surprised that with a mere look he had known where I hid the dress. "So it's that, isn't it~? My~ my~ what a bad girl you are~" The mortician got up, most likely to fetch the damned dress.  
I wailed in distress when I saw him go, his words of: "You should have put it in your inventory if you really didn't want me to get it" making me feel incredibly stupid.

I pounced the reaper, trying to pin him down. I didn't have much success, but he did look at me amusedly, so at least he wasn't angry.  
"Little Lia, let go~" he said, unable to hide the smirk pulling his lips upwards. He used one of his hands to slowly pet me, not at all against this position.

I shook my head. As if I would simply let him go get that damned thing. I can barely breathe in there! "Little Lia, no matter how much you struggle, we both know by the end of this, you _will_ be in that dress~" he giggled, amused when I stubbornly shook my head. "I will get you something you will like~" he attempted to bargain, despite his obvious position of power in this negotiation.

I looked up at him, loosening my grip on the reaper.  
Something I will like? "Is it food?" I asked, my stomach grumbling at the mention of food, possibly even sweet, nice, sugary goods.

"Not... quite. I was thinking more along the lines of more clothes..." I quickly tightened my hold on him again. "Hi hi~... but I guess I can also buy you something to eat..." he quickly added when he saw me tighten my grip even more.

I looked up at him, reluctantly releasing the mortician. Even if I had no delusions that he might have been able to get away, if he had wanted, I still didn't want to hurt him accidentally.

"Okay... but I don't want you to buy me anything. I want cookies. Made by you." I quickly stated.  
If I could get away with cookies, I would. Mainly, because we both knew I had the loosing hand.

"Cookies, is it~? Hi hi hi~ very well~" he giggled, amused.

Now I only had to get into that dress... and that blasted corset.

* * *

"Taker... If I die in here, I want you to know that I still love you." I wheezed, gripping the mortician's forearm like I was afraid to lose him. "Despite you being the main reason I will be dead." I added, looking around like a deer caught in headlights.

"Lia, don't be so dramatic, you're not dying. Although I do appreciate this information, you don't need to-" The mortician was cut off by me, when I suddenly hugged his arm to the best of my ability. He just looked at the attached girl at his side, sighing in defeat before patting my head. "Little Lia, these people won't eat you~" he reassured me, poking my cheek when I paid more attention to the absurd amount of people around us than his words.

"Mhm... also the corset..." I mumbled, jumping when I heard someone talk a tad too close for comfort. Thinking they were addressing me, I turned around, just to find they weren't, they were actually immersed in their own conversations, right next to me.

"You're still going on about that?" The mortician pinches the cheek he had been poking, chiding me for my inattention. "Calm down little Lia~" The mortician attempted to gain my attention with limited success.

"There's a lot of people..." I mumbled, uncomfortable.

"I did tell you this was a bid deal, didn't I~? Worry not my dear, we have invitations, and if you stick close to me, you won't be addressed..." he reassured me. Heeding his words, I tried to get closer to him, only to realize I couldn't. If I got closer I would be practically hanging off of him like a koala. Definitely not something I should do around strangers.

"Taker..." I whispered to the reaper, who rested his eyes on me. They were visible to the plain view, and I believe this is the first time I have seen him outside, blatantly showing his eyes. They were calm eyes, hiding an infinite amount of patience behind them. Every time I saw his eyes I felt myself calming down, blushing slightly. "Why are we here...?" I asked looking down at his mouth, far safer to look at than his eyes.  
I didn't want to get all red for no reason while around so many people.

"I already told you, love... I was invited by an old friend of mine, although friend is maybe stretching it a bit too far... well, anyways; I was asked to come, and I didn't want to refuse." The reaper explained, looking around for something.

"You didn't want to refuse? Who exactly are they?" I whispered. The reaper didn't answer, but instead softly dragged me in a direction that seemed to have less people around. As we walked down a hallway that didn't have so many fanciful people around, the mortician turned to look at me, still not releasing my hand.

"Don't take anything she says too personally, okay dear?" The mortician advised, still dragging me through the hallway, dodging the occasional assistant busying around.

"O-Okay..." I mumbled, unsure of our destination, but not daring to release the reaper's hand.

We kept walking until we reached a door, where te reaper stopped, looking intently at it for a while, before simply pushing it with his free hand, not bothering to knock.

The room we entered was... luxurious, to put it in a single word. It looked like one of these rooms that appear in movies, where the star gets dressed and where usually a murder is committed, normally by a scorned lover or a jealous fellow actress.

Inside the room, right in front of the big mirror was a woman with long blonde hair looking at herself in it, her hair being braided by another young looking blonde with purple eyes. When the reaper closed the door behind us, both women turned around at us to see who had entered the room, and while the purple eyed blonde maintained her confused face, the blue eyed woman started at us with a startled expression, which immediately soured when her bright blue eyes rested on my companion.

Her beautiful freckled face quickly turned into a scowl, her delicate blonde eyebrows frowned at us as her mouth curved in a terrible rictus. She seemed to have just swallowed a lemon. The woman braiding her hair kept silent, but kept exchanging looks between us and the previously cute woman that had suddenly become a harpy of sorts, apparently trying to figure out the situation.

"So~... How may this humble mortician help you today, dearie~? Perhaps you finally killed that useless servant of yours~? Hi hi hi~ I'm afraid I will have to tell the authorities in that case~... unless you offer a suitable payment~" The mortician smirked, giggling at the disgruntled expression in an otherwise fair face.  
I blinked when I noticed he was leaning onto me, draping an arm around my shoulders.

"Believe me, I did _not_ want to invite you to this." The fair woman finally spoke. Her voice melodious and sure, with a certain pride I would never be able to even fake. "Your disgusting lack of manners is appalling, and I would rather invite a monkey than you or yours." She kept talking, and I felt a bit like a lowly servant bowing before a mighty empress. Not even a queen: a full-fledged empress. "I merely have... a need that cannot be quenched by mere means, and so I am regretfully forced to resort to lowly means such as yours." She spoke with such passion I was thrown off for a second, not really understanding she was basically telling us off. I blinked, amazed at the sheer presence of that woman. I could only hope one day I could muster that much confidence in myself.

I was kind of admiring her for her confidence, completely stary eyed, so I didn't quite notice the exasperated look the reaper sent me.

"If you are here, I have to assume you will hear me out at the very least; very well." The woman made herself comfortable, dismissing the other woman with a wave of her perfect hand.

Such hands... her nails were perfect...

The woman seemed to want to object, but for whatever reason she said nothing, simply leaving the room with a worried frown.

"I will be as concise as possible, I know you're not very bright." She jabbed. How did she know I'm not very smart? Is she a mind reader? That just made my admiration for the woman grow even more. "It all began after the return of the Watchdog; I know you were the associate of the late Watchdog, so don't event try to fool me; after his return, a certain... humph! _Scum_ has been trying to uproot my reign, thinking I no longer am suited to..." She suddenly interrupted herself, seemingly enraged. I was too fascinated by her every word to really understand what happened, so it came as a surprise when she suddenly snapped, making me flinch. "You could at least _act_ like you're listening to me!" She seethed, looking next to me.

Next to me, was a certain mortician. A certain mortician that was glaring at me, completely ignoring the woman.

I moved my head to the side, wondering what had happened, Undertaker was pouting.

"Tsk! I should have known better. Anyways, what I wanted to ask of you is to know exactly what I am dealing with. I am requesting for your insight, as my own contacts are currently... under another's loyalty. And I would appreciate if you didn't give a trail for the dogs to follow until _after_ you are finished." She spoke, seemingly glaring at the reaper.

"My, but I'm terribly sorry~ we were just here for the spectacle~! Just here to say hi to an old friend and all~" The mortician dodged the request, dragging me to the door.

"Old!? How dare you little-!" She took a deep breath, suddenly smiling again, relaxed as she talked again like she didn't care what the reaper did. "I heard you're out for someone's blood." It wasn't even a question, but an universally accepted statement.

Undertaker stopped dead where he stood, slowly turning around with a smirk. "Oh~? You heard that~?" He smiled, but he wasn't giggling, it was too wide of a smile to be real.

"Everyone mildly important heard that, don't act stupid. You wouldn't be here if you weren't hoping for an exchange, and I wouldn't be asking of you if I didn't have _something_." She smiled too, she looked like an angel, but the atmosphere was so tense I couldn't really consider that a good thing.

"Little Lia~" Undertaker called, and I turned to him, trying to ignore the shudders racking through my body. "Why don't you go and take our seats before someone steals them~? I will be there in a moment~" He casually asked, handing me two tickets of sorts with two fingers.

I looked at the tickets, then at the reaper and finally at the woman.  
I... felt a bit reluctant to leave him alone with her, to be honest. I wasn't blind: she was absolutely astonishing, and I felt kind of lacking in comparison. I still took the tickets, if only because I trusted the reaper.

I trusted the reaper. I trusted the Undertaker. I _trusted_ Undertaker. So I was going to be a good girl and go take our seats without feeling a little bit jealous.

Yep. I'm a good girl. And I'm not worrying, not at all.

He doesn't like her anyways, I can feel it, but still something inside me still worries. That just means I care, right? I'm not jealous, right? I mean... it's normal.

I bit my nails for a good half an hour, before I was joined by a man sitting in Undertaker's seat.

And it wasn't Undertaker.

I blinked at him, a bit worried. Uhh... this seat is taken, but I would feel a bit bad telling him to go away... if he had at least asked first, I would have said the truth, but he didn't and now if I don't say anything he will think it's okay for him to sit here.

What do I do?!

"Hello" the man smiled a wide smile, closing his eyes slightly. Uh... what am I supposed to do?! He's attractive right? So it's very likely he's actually an asshole! Don't worry about his feelings. Come on Dalia, don't worry about his feelings! He's an asshole, he probably deserves being told he can't sit here. It's not like it's the end of the world for him or anything, you can do it!

"It's taken!" I blurted, tense as a board. There, I said it. Now it's not my problem, I did what I was supposed to, I'm a good girl, yeah... what if he gets angry?! Or worse, what if he starts crying?! What would I do then?! I tensed even more, waiting for the stranger's reaction with bated breath.

The man chuckled, which thankfully made me relax a bit. Sad people don't chuckle, I don't think he's angry either... Or maybe he is and is acting.  
"I see you don't remember me..." he smiled, although his eye did twitch a bit under his raven hair. Uh... I know him?! Oh my... I don't remember him! Black hair and brown eyes... uh... Zachary? No, no, I would definitely remember him, and this stranger's eyes had an almost reddish tint to them... uh... argh! Who is he, who is he?! "It's okay, we weren't really introduced, my name is Sebastian, pleased to meet you" the man chuckled again, amused at my panicked face.

Sebastian... Sebastian... I don't really remember any Sebastian! Well, yes, but it was a dog, and this man is no dog. Unless...  
Is he like Biscuit? The Phanthomhive dog _was_ black... Wait, but didn't it die in the fire? Maybe he was actually the one to accidentally start the fire, demon hounds can spit fire... Is he a demon hound?

"I'm... Dalia..." I better act like I know him... just in case. "Pleased... to meet you." I said, stilted and tense. I can usually deal with demon hounds… well, only Biscuit actually. But this stranger was far more eloquent than Biscuit… maybe because they aren't a pup?  
That's sad, it that is the case I don't think I want Biscuit to grow up.

"Again" he smiled, amused at my awkwardness. There was something in that smile that gave me the creeps.

"Again" I repeated even more awkwardly, embarrassed I _still_ couldn't remember him.

"Forgive me for my sudden appearance, but I saw you from afar and I couldn't help to come and ask what you were doing here alone. Is this seat your employer's?" The possible-dog swiftly prodded for information.

I was a breath away from saying yes, before I realized the empress-woman didn't want anyone to know we were working for her. What if I said the wrong thing? I did have a record of putting my foot in my mouth the moment I was left alone... but I couldn't just stare the stranger to death; that would be highly suspicious.

I squeaked a bit, before I settled with a one word answer. "Friend." It wasn't technically a lie, and I'm sure the mortician would be able to fix this if it turned out I wasn't really supposed to say that, either.

"I see... you are enjoying your free day... my apologies, then. If you wouldn't mind I should keep you company until that... 'friend' arrives..." he smiled widely, looking at me like I was a canary he was going to eat. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm really going to screw this up, I really am. "It really wouldn't feel right leaving a lady alone to fend for herself... someone could come and..." the raven haired man leaned in my direction, and I had to resist flinching when he whispered into my ear making me want to run away that very instant. "...steal her." He leaned away, and I honestly felt like screaming for the reaper to hide under his uniform until everything was normal again.

It's okay, Taker said he would be here soon, don't cry, you're a big girl, don't cry.  
I bit my lip, trying to avoid wailing then and there.

Please Takeeeeeeer, anyone! Help meeeee! I don't like this dog! He's a bad dog! Bad Dog!

"I... not necessary..." I muttered, looking around for any way out. I spotted green hair in the crowd. I blinked, my memory working in overdrive merely out of self-preservation.

"Spanner!" I shouted to the man in the crowd, making a hand gesture. "Eldwin!" The man with green hair, stopped for a second, looking in my direction with a carefree blink. He returned the wave with a confused smile, but started walking towards me. Thank goodness! Thanks, you're my lucky charm!

He was the lucky man I met at the Halloween party... like a bazillion years ago. I honestly can't believe I got his name right. I _know_ my memory is not very blessed, so it's actually kind of surprising I remembered both his name and surname.

The raven haired man smiled again, this time a little bit sourly. "If you have found your friend, then I will continue on my way, I would love to be introduced, but my master is expecting a report, so I will have to be excused, my lady." The man bowed, briskly walking away.

When the man, Spanner arrived next to me, I rose from my seat and proceeded to hug the life out of him. I normally would hug a stranger, but this guy definitely deserves it.  
"Sorry, I kind of don't remember you...?" The man smiled, completely unconcerned a complete stranger was hugging him.

"Thank you... thank you... bwuhhh..." I bawled, not able to resist the tears anymore.

"It's okay, perfect stranger, it's okay" the man soothed, still sporting that oblivious smile. "I'm Eldwin Spanner, but you already knew that! Haha!" The man laughed obliviously. He then blinked, looking at something or someone I couldn't see. "Woah! Sorry, my lady is kinda angry with me, so I really shouldn't let her see me hugging another girl! See you later, mind reader!" The man jumped from my hold, walking away and getting lost in the seats of people, leaving me all alone again.

I waited for the reaper, washing away the remaining tears. What was wrong with that creep? I know Biscuit isn't very good with people, but they are a saint in comparison that that... bad dog! How dares he? I won't cry, next time! I will definitely scold him!

As I thought this over, I got progressively more and more furious at the raven haired Sebastian-dog and more and more thankful at the green haired Spanner. I'm sure he wasn't as bad, when he was a normal dog! In fact, the dag had been cute until it apparently became a tall butler-looking man. Now he's a bad dog. He's not going to get any cookies from me!

I wonder where Spanner got his green hair from. It's the first time I see green hair outside of anime.

"Missed me~?" A voice giggled next to me, in Undertaker's seat I was supposed to be saving.  
Thankfully, this time it was occupied by Undertaker himself, making me jump into his arms the second I realized that fact. "Oh~? You _missed_ me~!" He giggled delightedly.

I turned into my Chibi form to sit on his lap, no way am I letting go of him. Strange stares be damned.

"A bad man tried to scare me." I sniffed, making the reaper blink. "But I made him go away instead. I was brave... and I didn't cry until he was gone!" The mortician made a dramatically exaggerated face of outraged surprise as he quickly hugged me, comforting me.

"It was a bad, scary man~?" He asked in a baby voice, rubbing my cheeks with his with a pout when I nodded. "Who was it? I'll kill him" at this his voice turned deadly, making me slap his head. "Aww~" He complained, pouting even more.

"Bad Taker! No scaring people! And I did make him go away..." I tried to defend. I didn't want the reaper to get into trouble.

"Oh, but I wasn't going to _just_ scare him..." he mumbled sullenly.

Suddenly, the people became restless. The show was about to begin.

"We will talk this later." The mortician promised. Not over this topic at all.

"Shh!" I hushed him, not wanting to be on the receiving end of the reprimanding glares of the other people.

More than I was already.


	32. Chapter 31

**Hello dear readers! I have here yet another chapter that I hope will make you laugh if not at least smile!  
Thanks for all of your reviews, I know I'm always repeating myself but I really think you people are the best of the best!**

 **Esper Mammon: haha! Poor Sebastian indeed, he was just trying to get information an managed to put them both against him! I'm also excited for the Phanthomhive servants to appear! I hadn't realized, but you are right, Finny and Lia are quite similar! So adorable!  
Thanks for the compliment and for reviewing! I love it when people like this story, it pumps me full of motivation to keep writing!**

 **asagi uchiha: Yeah, the butler was trying to pry information from our adorable Lia, although I don't think he managed much before his chain was yanked. Sebastian and our little earl will slowly but surely start appearing more and more as we approach cannon events, definitely something to look out for!  
Thanks for reviewing I love to see people liking what I write! **

**guadadominguez4: I know what you mean, my dog doesen't misbehave, but I somehow always end up exhaused and wet after every bath. Hehe, our reaper is definitely jealous to have our Littel Lia making goo goo eyes at someone other than him.  
Haha! Poor Sebastian is definitely going to hate his nickname! We can only hope Ciel will not decide to use it too!  
thanks for reading and reviewing, I love reading all of your reviews!**

 **Howard: Haha! Dalia is definitely something! Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that mind of hers, before I realize that I'm suposed to be the one deciding that. Sebastian is going to _hate_ his nickname. I doubt they will be buddies after she spews out what she thinks of him, which knowing her will be the second he decides to ask her anything. **

**nay3824: Thanks! I love to see new readers leaving a review, I'm really glad you liked this story enough to be late for work! ... I-I mean... your health! T-take care of yourself! Yes, that's what I meant. This story will only go forward as long as I'm the writer!**  
 **That aside, I'm really glad you liked the story and how Undertaker is depicted! I sometimes start fearing he may be OOC, before I some kind reviewer magically knows what I'm thinking and reassures me! (Really are you psychic?)**  
 **I really love your compliments, but I don't think I would have ever gotten this far without all of these lovely reviewers like you that always make me smile like a fool when I read them, making me want to make them smile in return.**

 **Really, thank you all!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

Omake (but not really)

"Taker, what are you doing?" I asked the mortician, who was just staring intently at a random coffin with a curious expression.  
When he noticed my presence, he turned around startled by the sudden question.

"Ah? What? Oh~! It's you, love~! Did you need something, dear~?" He asked, like I wasn't the only other occupant of the house. If we don't count Biscuit. And Tofu. And Hercules and Captain Socks the Terrible. On second thought, maybe his surprise was warranted, after all. Although I'm the only one who talked to him on a daily basis, considering out of all of them, Tofu was the only one who could talk. But he wouldn't talk to Undertaker, for obvious reasons.

Alright, maybe I was right to be a little suspicious of him, after all.  
Regardless of any suspicion his surprise did or didn't warrant, he was right on one thing, I _did_ need something from him.  
"Uh... you remember that woman, right?" I evasively asked, making the mortician blink as he put some distance between him and the coffin he had been petting like a child. Maybe because it _was_ a child's coffin, or at least it was child-sized.

"What woman? There are a lot of women that-" his amicable smirk quickly turned suspicious as he interrupted himself with a sudden realization. "please tell me you are not referring to Stella Diaz." He immediately pursed his lips together with faint disapproval as he narrowed his eyes in an unamused expression, which was a similar expression to the one he made when we met that charming empress-woman. That probably meant that the empress' name is Stella.

"Is that what she's called? Stella? It's a nice name, I like it." I mumbled, remembering that woman's subtle aura of power and confidence. If only I could be like that...

"Little Lia, you are not meeting her again. Of that you can be _certain_." He stressed, looking disapprovingly at me. Why wouldn't he want me to meet her? She's so confident and magnificent... I could learn a thing or two about self-confidence. Or anything really.  
Maybe we're not talking about the same person after all. It's obvious that this was a misunderstanding of sorts.

"Just so we are clear, we are talking about that blonde woman that looked so... prestigious when we went to the theater, aren't we?" I clarified.

"Yeah, that one. Although 'prestigious' wasn't the word I would've used." He agreed, looking away as he pouted like a petulant child, grumbling about something or another. "I would have used 'shameless vixen' or 'egoistical granny with too much time in her hands'." He mentioned cynically, making me hit him over the head with the pillow I had brought to sit on while the mortician worked on his guests.

"Don't badtalk her. She's admirable!" I defended, offended on her behalf. "I like her a lot, and wanted to ask you if I could go see her other performances." I mumbled sourly. I had liked the performance, she was a magnificent actress, I wish I could be like that.

"She's not someone to admire, dear. You should be her role model, not the other way around. And we are not going to see any more of her shows, no matter how pleading your puppy eyes are." He sternly stared, making me pout at him. "She doesn't care about others like you do, you are way better than her~. Why don't you take her niece as role model instead? She is so much more agreeable." He suggested, taking the pillow away from me and hitting me back with it. I made an affronted noise at the attack.

I took the pillow from the reaper, hitting him back, straight on that dumb face of his. "Who is that niece? Do I know her?" I asked instead of keep on a topic the mortician was not enjoying. I would convince him, just not now. The best time to attack was when he wasn't prepared, right before falling asleep and when he's muttering to himself about everything cute I did today.

It was almost like he was verbalizing all the cuteness to discharge and avoid an implosion of sorts. He always looked so much more relaxed afterwards and was especially pliant to new attacks with the puppy eyes.

"Irina... or Irene... Something like that. She was the quiet lass that was with Stella when we met her." He mumbled the niece's name, as he returned the favor by stealing my pillow again and hitting me with it. I had almost forgotten what we were talking about...

"You don't even remember her name properly, how is she supposed to be my role model if not even _you_ remember her? And give me back that pillow, it's my turn to smack your face." I reached towards the pillow, only managing to brush it with my fingertips when the mortician pulled it away.

"No way~! I don't think you are supposed to give up your weapon in a pillow fight~" he giggled, teasingly leaving the pillow _just_ out of my reach. "And I heard she is quite popular with the males~. Mhmmm, on second thought... yeah, maybe it's a good thing she's not your role model. Wouldn't want to get in trouble for beheading some poor fool." He mused distractedly as he kept teasing me with the pillow.

"This is a crappy pillow fight. We only have one pillow. Give it back, it's my turn." I demanded, finally getting the pillow... because the reaper decided to hit me with it. "Graaah!" I screeched, trying to escape from the imminent death from extreme suffocation by pillow. I always thought they were exaggerating, when it happened in movies. Maybe if I stopped fighting?

I went limp, carefully trying to breathe through. Mhmm... I think I can live, although probably because this is the crappy pillow that seems to be older than Undertaker himself, I bet that if I tried this with the good pillow we bought not that long ago I would be dead. Although, I would hope Undertaker would stop before he killed me...

"Lia...?" I heard the mortician ask uncertainly. After barely a second of doubt, the mortician lifted the pillow, looking worriedly at me. I used the chance to steal the pillow, smacking his face repeatedly with it.

"It. Was. My. Tuuuuuurnnn!" I roared in aggravation between pillow smacking. He had stolen my turn! It was my turn and now I will never have it back!

"Umph-! Ack-! Li-! Argh-! Sorr-! Ah-! Stop-! I'm sorry! Stop that! Ack-!" The mortician attempted to defend himself, squirming futilely under me, as I had flipped us over. We were now on the floor, with me hitting the mortician on the face repeatedly with a pillow as I sat on him. "That's cruel-! Liaaaa~!" He pleaded with a big smile on his face. The stupid old man even seemed to be enjoying himself.

"Humph! Your face!" I retorted. I'm not sure what was I retorting to, but I did anyways.

"My face what~? Is it cute~? Is it beautiful~? Is it fair and irresistible, a beautiful piece of art like yours~?" He giggled. Spewing nonsense.

Uh... was that a compliment? I should return it, right? How do I compliment someone? Saying something nice, of course but, what can I say to the reaper I haven't said yet?  
"Your face is very... Uh..." I mumbled, trying to look for an appropriate adjective.  
Nice? Cute? Handsome? Irresistible? Attractive? Pale? Sickly kind of pale because I'm very sure his poor skin would glow if he ever when to the beach?

Uh... what was I looking for again? Descriptions of Undertaker? Well, he's creepy... and tall, like very taaaall. And strong. And old. And irritating. And kind. And adorable. And a dork. And he's a sneaky, deceptive piece of... reaper. And he likes to laugh at my face... and he's rude, but funny. And he always makes me smile. And he's... the person I love the most.

He's...

"Taker" I finished, smiling softly at him.

"...I think you lost me, love. My face is very Taker?" He questioned, looking a breath away from guffawing.

...

...

Damn, that wasn't the adjective I was looking for. "I-I-I I meant- I-... You're a dork! Sh-shut up... don't laugh at me. I tried alright?! I just looked for the best adjective and I... came up with that..." I mumbled, embarrassedly looking away.

"Awwwwww~ that's so adorable~! He he he he hi hi hihihihihi hahahaaha~!" He apparently couldn't take it, as he started laughing loudly, making me glare at him as he took turns between laughing and cooing at how adorable it was that the best adjective I knew was him.

I don't see how that is funny. I'm not laughing. It was hard, as I could clearly see the reaper having a blast, but I managed to purse my lips to keep at bay the smile.  
At least he's having fun.

Giving up, I smiled at the squirming and spasming reaper, as he started crying from how hard he was laughing.  
It's not that funny. He's overreacting.  
I grumbled, hitting his face again with my pillow, managing to muffle the sound a bit.  
He didn't stop laughing.

* * *

 **Well, I wanted to expand a bit more on the empress topic, but couldn't in the next chapters, so I might have made this to calm myself down a bit. I also read the latest chapter of Black butler and I might have wanted to drop a hint or two... cough cough.  
This omake has made me think of sharing other snippets of "What if" that I left forgotten inside my phone.  
With "What if's" I mean like what would have happeneed, had Dalia decided to go back to her dimension. That kind of thing. **

**This "omake" is "cannon" as long as I'm concerned, but if I finally do share these "what if's" they probably won't be. You tell me if you want to know more~!**

 **No I will really let you go back to the chapter,**

The Gamer: Fun and Games

* * *

Undertaker was hugging me, softly caressing my cheek when suddenly Biscuit ran into the kitchen from the back door, carrying... something.

It was... a dead bird.

"Biscuit! What did you do?!" I wailed, jumping from the reaper's lap and to the dog's rescue.

"It's a dead stork... well, after this you can't say the dog is an angel that wouldn't do any harm~" the reaper smirked, looking at Biscuit like he had won something.

"No way! Poor Biscuit probably only found it already dead and decided to bring it here so we could heal it, right Biscuit? You're a very good dog!" I petted the dog, trying to avoid touching the dead stork's carcass.

"I'm sure there's some hidden meaning behind this..." the reaper mused, looking blankly at the stork. It was very dead, and it smelled horribly.

"I'm sorry Biscuit, I don't think we can help it anymore... but you're still a good dog for trying. You're a sweetheart, aren't you? Yes you are..." I hugged the dog, trying to cheer them up.

The reaper threw the stork right out, it was stinking worse than that time Biscuit rolled over Hercules' defecations. It had been a pain bathing them afterwards.

"Biscuit!" The dog slipped right through my arms, running outside and bringing the stork inside again and leaving it right on my feet as an offering of sorts. "I really can't help it, Biscuit..." I sighed, sad I couldn't really do anything.

"It's just a bird, Lia..." The mortician rolled his eyes. "Death and disease await us all, you shouldn't really worry..." he mumbled, trying to throw the dead bird again.

Biscuit didn't want to hear of it, and threw itself onto it, rolling on the carcass.

"..." The reaper had a magnificent poker expression as he simply looked at the dog, not lifting a finger to stop them. Probably from shock.

"..." I just stared in abject horror, too disgusted to make a move.

"I think I just found the hidden meaning to this: Biscuit can and will get dirty, and we can do nothing to stop them." the reaper stated incredulously. After a second he glanced at me, trying to act casual. "Oh, well~... look at the time~ I really have a lot of dead bodies to attend to, don't I~? Well~, it really is a shame but you will have to deal with the cookie dog on your own~" He then tried to walk away, before I snatched his long mane of hair, preventing his escape.

"You're not running away, Taker." I glared straight at him with the most serious expression I was currently capable of. He is _not_ wiggling out of this one.

Biscuit, still rolling on the stork's carcass looked up at us, happy with its new perfume of 'essence of death'. It smelled as horrible as imagined.

Actually, I think the dog had found the stench somehow to its liking and decided to share with the family. It was... a nice gesture. The thought was appreciated, at least... more or less.

I sighed, preparing myself to run a bath for the dog.

* * *

I sighed, finally letting the dog get up and away from the bathroom, clean once again. I was exhausted and a bit dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bathtub for a second.

"Are you okay, dear?" The reaper asked, sounding worried for me. I smiled, blushing a bit.

"I'm fine, thanks" I smiled, feeling the urge to kiss those smiling lips of his. "Taker... come here." I made a gesture for the mortician to come closer, and he did so without question. "Closer" once he was standing right in front of me, I grabbed his braid, lightly pulling him down to peck him on the lips.

The mortician stood a second in the most honest of confusions, making me slightly giggle in amusement, before he finally realized I had kissed him, and blushed from head to toe. So adorable.

"Lia~! So evil~" he mumbled as he put a hand of his kissed lower lip, and sitting next to me so he could hug me without having to bend or crouch.

I sighed, resting my head on his chest as he put a hand on my leg, the other over my head, softly petting it as he held me against him.

We stood like that for a while, until Tofu walked into the bathroom, growling at something or another. I opened my eyes, but didn't move yet.

"What happened now~?" The man next to me asked, still petting my hair. I yawned a bit, out of sorts and about to fall asleep. The reaper's hands felt heavenly on my scalp.

"Your stupid dog happened! It's a walking menace! It let a bunch of stray cats in, and they are eating the lunch you made. Not like I care though!" The clown grumbled, and it took me a few seconds to realize the implications of what the clown was saying. I immediately felt myself waking up.

NO! My food! Not my food!

I got up faster than it was physically possible for me, running to the door. And promptly slamming into the wall next to the door.

The clown clapped, the mortician blinked, walking towards me to make sure I hadn't hurt myself.

"Lia?" He asked, a bit disbelievingly. He was biting his lower lip so he wouldn't burst out laughing.

"I... I don't know what happened..." I muttered.

"You walked into a wall, little Lia~" he stated the obvious. The tears on his eyes belied his amusement at the situation. At least he was making an effort of not bursting out laughing until he was sure I was fine.

"Yes, well... I just was in such a hurry to save the food... it just so happened that reality was a bit more to the left than what I had originally believed." I defended myself.

Seeing as I hadn't really hurt myself, and was only a bit confused, the mortician decided to tease me. "Your face when you crashed into the wall was magnificent~" he smirked, quickly bursting out laughing heartily as he couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Do you know what else is magnificent? Your face." I glared, pouting at him.

"Awww~" He cooed, making goo-goo eyes, his smile occupying half of his face.

"Wait. No, I meant that as an insult! I didn't... ah... alright..." Sighing, I gave up. Seeing the reaper so enamored with my slip up didn't really make me want to correct him.

"Just so you two know, your food is gone. And now you have a cat not willing to leave." The clown stared, making me wail in distress, running to the door again, this time passing through safely, to go save whatever I could of the food.

And kick out the cat. Those things are evil.

* * *

I entered the front shop after cleaning the kitchen, as Biscuit had left a mess, when they attempted to steal some cookies Taker had left to cool off on the table.  
Once inside, I found the shop closed and the mortician waiting to ambush me behind the door.

"Little Lia, this cannot go on any longer." The mortician said seriously, wrapping his arms around me to prevent my escape.

"Taker no!" I cried, trying to wiggle out of the mortician's hold. I knew exactly what he was talking about, we had had a few conversations about this, but I had thought he would let me prepare first.

It was too soon! I wasn't ready!

"Little Lia, stay still~... I won't hurt you." He tried to reassure me. It didn't work.

"No! Taker I can't! I'm not ready!" I tried to reason with him, but by his unamused face, he didn't see my reaction as remotely justified.

"Little Lia... you cannot put this off forever. You're anxious about when I will confront you again, and I don't want you to suffer like that." He sighed, softly caressing the brown locks of my hair, which had been growing longer as time passed.

"Then don't confront me! Leave me be and I will be fine! If I ever feel like I want to, then I'll tell you." I pleaded, trying futilely to keep his hands away from my hair.

"Little Lia, I'm doing this for your own good... you're not making this easy for me either." He spoke softly, caressing my waist in an attempt to calm me.

"If our positions were inverted, I wouldn't do it!" I attempted to reason, still trying to get his hands to release me.

"Don't lie little Lia~. If you were in my position you wouldn't have been able to resist half as long as I did." He deadpanned, not sold at all.

"I don't wanna..." I cried. The mortician's eyes softened, but his mouth was still in that stern line that told me he hadn't changed his mind.

"Come on little Lia, don't be stubborn. I'll go nice and easy, I won't hurt you if that's what you're afraid of..." he kissed my cheeks, trying to be as calming as possible.  
I knew he wouldn't hurt me but...

"No..." refused. It's not that I didn't trust him, but...

"Little Lia... why are you so afraid? It's not such a big deal... everyone gets haircuts once in a while..." he tried again. " _Even I_ cut a few locks once every century or so, when it is needed~" I eyed his long hair. Every century, he says... filthy lies, his hair seems to have never been touched by a pair of scissors.

"Taker... please don't cut my hair." I threw myself against him, a step away from groveling.

The reaper sighed, finally releasing my hair, lowering his hand to my cheek, slowly touching it with his fingers.  
"Love, I won't hurt you, I have had quite a bit of experience with scissors in the past~" he said, nuzzling my cheek in an attempt to convince me.  
The information was actually surprising, he didn't really look like he even know how to work them, what with his long hair and long nails...

"Taker, please... I don't wanna..." I whispered, tears on my eyes as I clutched his uniform. I saw him falter for a second, and I preyed on his weakness by looking straight into his eyes with my teary ones. He looked away, knowing he was going to give up if he looked at them.

"Little Lia~..." he whispered back, trying to convince me still. "I promise I won't hurt you, if you tell me to stop I will, but let me fix your hair..." he softly promised me.

"No..." I whined, beyond scared. "I like long hair..." I attempted a last resort, knowing that if he kept insisting I wouldn't be able to deny it to him. Seeing as I hadn't managed to convince him with the puppy eyes I simply buried my face in his chest to gain comfort, squirming from time to time in a pathetic attempt to flee.

"Little Lia, I'm not going to cut _all_ of your hair off. Just some loose ends here and there..." he whispered, touching two locks of hair that had seemed to gain a will of their own, claiming independence and growing away from my head.

"No..." I whispered, already beaten, but unable to give in. I was holding onto the mortician for dear life, tears finally falling from my eyes. They felt hot and tasted slightly salty. Nothing like the cold feeling in my stomach at the thought of having my hair cut.

The reaper sighed, deciding that my tears were too much to bear right now, and decided to reach a compromise.  
"Alright Little Lia... let's do this: you can keep your hair like that until next time I cut my own hair, then I will cut yours as you cut mine. How does that sound~?" He asked me, trying a different approach.

"Horrible! I would never!" I wailed, the words he had spoken were almost sacrilegious. Taker's hair was sacred! No one could touch Taker's hair! Never! Not even himself!

The mortician sighed, finally giving up and raising his hands to the sky, as if praying for patience.  
"Alright, you win, okay? Just… stop crying" he pleaded with a sigh, making me feel guilty I hadn't been able to allow him to do as he wanted.

"I love you..." I mumbled with uncertainty, afraid he was angry at me.

The mortician blinked, cooing at the meek voice I said it with. "Aww~... Little Lia~ I love you too~ I'm not angry, no need to make that kicked puppy face~... it's too cute for my old heart~" he mumbled, nuzzling me softly.

I hugged him again, just in case he was still annoyed.

I'm not angry little Lia, no need to hang onto me like a monkey~ hi hi hi~" The mortician cackled, patting my head like I was a cute pet.

I wasn't.

* * *

I glared at the cat that kept sneaking inside the shop. No more pets. And definitely no cats, so go away cat. Stupid cat.  
Captain socks the Terrible was licking its private parts on my kitchen table.

The mortician gave it a pat, completely ignoring the fact the cat was _licking its private parts_ , letting it _lick his hand_ afterwards. Really, the cat is obviously doing it on purpose! How can he not see it?!

I took the cat in my arms, throwing it out the window, afterwards I turned to the mortician. "You're _not_ touching me with that hand." The mortician blinked, looking at his hand.  
The cat would be back in less than an hour tops, before it found another way in.

I sighed tiredly, running a hand through my hair.  
Something came out tangled in my fingers. I blinked softly at it. Huh. It was white and long, like a string or…  
"Is that a white hair?" I asked no one, looking at the white long hair that came tangled in my fingers. I wonder how it got there...

Something crashed to the floor, as two sets of eyes gazed upon me with pure unadulterated horror.  
I looked at the reaper with honest confusion, startled with the sound of something breaking. I really didn't see anything on the floor, I wonder what fell that made that noise?

The mortician stood there for a full second, lost in some kind of waking nightmare, if his face was anything to go by. I hope it wasn't his heart, what broke…

"Nooooooooooo!" Something wailed behind me, I turned around to find Tofu, who was... well, he was the one wailing. And not in anger, but despair... what the hell is going on? Did I miss something?

"Eh?" I mumbled, confused at the sudden change in the atmosphere.

"No! Not yet! This wasn't supposed to happen yet! I... I still have time... I still have time..." The clown mumbled, lost in his own mind. I blinked at the toy who seemed like he had lost his mind then I turned to ask Undertaker what was going on and why was Tofu flipping his marbles, just to find him huddled in a corner, reading a book with the blankest and deadest expression I had seen from him yet.

What?

I blinked, looking around. Biscuit seemed to be the only behaving anywhere near normal, and that's saying something, when they were running in circles attempting to bite their own tail.

I sighed, figuring I would be told sooner or later, if it was important. And it seemed important, as everyone was acting really strange.

I walked to the reaper, handing him the endlessly long white hair. Really, if it wasn't because I knew for a fact it was the same shade as Undertaker's hair I would almost think it was a string from my sewing supplies, from how long it was.  
"This is yours." I offered him the hair that I had somehow produced from my own hair. It wasn't strange to find hairs of his everywhere, I found them in even more outrageous places, once in a while.

Silence was my only answer for a whole four seconds. Then Undertaker slowly, very slowly, raised his head to look at me uncomprehendingly. For a second he seemed so lost that my heart gave a pang and I widened my eyes, worried about what had made him so sad.

"Taker? What's wrong?" I asked worriedly. Really, if something had happened that made him sad I wanted to know, I wanted to try help him in any way I could.

The mortician started breathing heavily, eventually staring to laugh a bit hysterically.  
"The white hair... was mine...?" He asked, disbelief painted on his face as he slowly brought a hand over his face.  
In my opinion, it was obvious the hair was his, even if it came from my own hair, my hair wasn't that long. Nor white.

"You stupid... do you know the scare you gave us, you airhead?!" The clown raged in the background, I didn't listen to him, instead I took the book from the reaper and hugged him.

"There, there... what happened, dear? It's okay... it's okay..." I soothed, as the mortician calmed down from the near heart attack he apparently had. I frowned at the strange behavior everyone had been exhibiting. What in the name of cookies happened? It's not like I did anything to warrant this!  
I eyed the cover of the book and promptly deadpanned at the reaper's choice of lecture.

Really Taker...?

"'I can live without my significant other and other lies to tell yourself?' Really, Taker, I expected better." I chided him. "And I'm not even dead, what the hell is wrong with you guys?" I asked, looking at the mortician and clown both.

"I still have time... she was just being stupid, I still have time..." The clown was muttering to himself, but the reaper seemed to have relaxed a great deal.

"Where did you even get this book from?" I asked.

"It's a secret. A Grim Reaper secret. Even among Shinigami." The mortician dodged my question, hugging me tightly.

I sighed, patting his head. These two… are idiots.

"Taker... you said it before: death and injury awaits us all or something like that. I'm human, and one day I will die... I don't want you to be sad, when that time comes..." I said, kissing the reaper.

"I can't promise you that, love. I just..." he had an absent look, staring at something far away I could not place. "I really don't want to think of it until it is time." He whispered a bit remorsefully. "I don't think I can do anything to prevent it, and I would rather enjoy the time we have together without the thought of you dying at any moment to sour my remaining time with you." He whispered, kissing fervently my face. "Even so… it is hard." He mumbled, hiding his face on my chest. I embraced his head, hiding him from the world with my long sleeves.

"You disgusting lovebirds! Shut The fuck up! I don't want to hear about it! And I won't have any of that if I have a say about it!" The toy finally shouted, growling fiercely. "Do you know how hard I worked to give you that anything-goes dimension? Well, I can work even harder to come up with something so you can't get away from me!" The clown was high with renewed fury for... something. I'm not even completely sure what he's so angry about, but at least he looks motivated...

"If you manage that, I will bow down to you." The Reaper stated seriously.

"Ha! Is that a challenge, you punny mummy?!" The clown gloated. "Well, prepare to amaze yourself!" The clown proceeded to run away in a random direction, a goal in his mind.

Ha! Punny mummy... hilarious. Wait, what are they talking about? Is this some kind of… rivalry-induced, goal setting? Whatever that means?

"Hey, so... what happened?" I asked, a bit shy to be asking this now.

"Oh... you know~... hehe~... things~" The mortician giggled, already in better spirits.

"Meow!" The black cat with white socks meowed next to me.

No! NO! How did it even enter?!  
Grrr! "Taker stop laughing!"

"Meow" the cat smiled, gloating in my face with a haughty glare.

 _Cats are evil!_


	33. Chapter 32

**Hello dear readers! I am currently very busy with exams and whatnot, so I will make this short. I wish you the best!**

 **Esper Mammon: Have a nice day you too! Sadly I won't be able to include an omake these next two weeks, as i'm practically burried in work, but you will still have your chapter, so nothing to worry about!**

 **guadadominguez4: It's simply very hard to take anything seriously with these two, they are impossible! Yep, irene Diaz is indeed the lady in the Book of Murder. Hehe. Nope, you're not the only one to think something else out of that scene~. Maybe~ it depends, really of how do I tackle ithat particular... thingy.  
Tofu is really determined to keep Little Lia alive for as long as possible, that little Tsun-Tsun.  
Thanks! It really means a lot! I always end up worrying about and finding faults in everything I do so it feels good to hear something nice! You're the BEST!**

 **jj510: They are indeed adorable, I don't even know where I went right with these two. Poor Sebas-chan ended up as a closet pervert of sorts, I feel a bit bad for him, but that's what he gets for being a creep.  
Dalia is way too innocent (clueless) to event _flirt_ _on purpose_ with someone. I think by this point Taker has noticed this, and he won't be too happy with anyone trying to take advantage of her.**

 **I'm really sorry this chapter is so short, but I really had no time for more, so this was the best I could do even upload a chapter today.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

I yawned from my place in the kitchen, ignoring the cat that had sneaked in _yet again_ , demanding tribute in the form of food, petting or attention in general.  
Captain Socks the Terrible is _not_ , and would _never_ be a boss of mine, I'm not giving it anything.

I moved my head aside when the cat attempted to slam its butt into my face, surely in some sort of wicked punishment for ignoring its magnificent presence.

I took the cat into my arms, where it quickly started digging its claws into my arms, using me as a scratching post.  
I threw it out of the window and into the backyard, where a happy Biscuit turned around to play cat and mouse with the cat.

Surprisingly, Biscuit was the mouse. It was kind of funny seeing a dog-kid running away from a cat. At least I wasn't the one being bothered, now.

I turned to the mortician, knowing he would probably enjoy the view, just to find the kitchen empty.

Uh... he's probably working.  
As I walked downstairs, more to check up on him than anything, I took the time to admire the creepy atmosphere Undertaker had managed to create in the basement. The dead bodies didn't help any.

The mortician looked up at me for a second, returning to the papers he was rummaging through after a wave.

"Need help?" I asked, already done with my share.

"Hi hi hi~ not really~" He answered. "I only have to finish these few papers and it's all done. It's a bit sad we didn't get so many guests today~" He sighed sadly. "I don't really like paperwork~..." he muttered in despair.

I sat next to him, offering whatever support I could. "Well, I'm sure you can do this, but if I can help in any way, I would be delighted to." I offered again, seeing the sad pout in the reaper's lips. Said pout was quickly replaced with a big smile as he turned to me.

"No need to, dearie~ I'm merely getting rid of this so I won't be busy for a while~" he simply explained. "Though, if you want to keep me company, I would greatly appreciate it, love~" He quickly continued, in case I decided to leave after all.

I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder as I watched him work. It was relaxing, and I felt somehow happy, just to be together like this, it made me happy.

I looked at his hand move swiftly though the paper, elegant curves to form words. "I like your writing style..." I mumbled, sighing in contentment.

"Mhm...? Well, I had a lot of time to practice, love~ hi hi~" he giggled, patting my head a bit before going back to his work.

I blinked, in the verge of falling asleep, until a grammatical horror made me flinch at the mortician's work.  
"You left a 'the' there, Taker." I pointed out.

"Oh~? Well, too bad~ maybe it should have hurried along before it got left behind~" he just muttered, completely unconcerned. "It's still legible and understandable, it doesn't matter. " he mumbled carelessly, unconcerned by the grammatical aberrations I was forced to endure. Once I saw one, I kept finding worse and worse.

"And you put 'get' instead of 'gets' there... and... what the..." I stopped leaning on the mortician to stare intently at his work. Then I slowly glared at him, who was sporting a shit eating grin. "Taker..." I growled.

The mortician proceeded to write 'your most welcome' right at the end of it, slowly folding the paper so I wouldn't pounce on it to throw it in the garbage can like it deserved.

"It's _you're_! Not _your_!" I screeched in despair.

"Unless I was trying to write something like... 'your most welcome friend' right~?" The mortician giggled, dangling the paper away from my reach.

"Is that what you were trying to write...?" I asked, a bit thrown off because the mortician obviously _knew_.

Said mortician put on a very amused face, his pale eyebrows framing his eyes in a way that made it look like he was mocking me. Probably because he _was_.

"Pfft~ of course not~! He he he~" he giggled amused that I had fallen for it.

"Taker..." I warned, about ready to shred that paper still dangling in the air into a tiny million pieces.

Far from offering the paper before he became a victim of my fury, the mortician put the paper away from my sight and reach.

"Taker we're taking remedial classes of orthography." I stated, not even asking.

"Ha! Hi hi hi hi~! No way in hell little Lia~! Hi hi hi hi~" The mortician threw his head back and started laughing like crazy, making something outside fall and making me flinch. That was the shop sign... oopsie.

Not willing to just let it go, I grabbed the mortician to the best of my abilities, preventing him from fleeing.  
I tried to move him, but he wasn't really cooperating.  
"You're not getting away, Taker! You're going to learn how to write without making my eyes bleed even if I have to send you back to school!" I threatened, glaring at the mortician when the hugged the table with all of his might, not bulging an inch from his place.

"I don't wanna go back to school! I'm two centuries too old for school!" He whined, grabbing onto anything in his reach.

"No one is too old for school!" I yelped when the mortician simply banished from within my hold, disappearing like mere dust. "Come back here you coward!" I wailed for the whole shop to hear.

* * *

"Lia, how interested are you in France~?" The mortician blurted out of the blue looking up at me and away from his 'homework'. I was helping him to write until he did it correctly, but he wasn't really willing to simply stay put.

"I don't know, I've never been there... Why?" I asked, not really understanding why he would ask me that, but allowing him to take a break. He wasn't doing that badly, after all.

"Zephyr is there." He stated seriously. "I wanted to know if you are prepared to pay a visit~ hi hi hi~" He giggled menacingly, the homework all but forgotten.

"I... don't know... I don't feel particularly ready... you should know better, you're the one training me." I nervously said. Uh... if I went there, I would be supposed to kill or trap Zach, right?  
I whined in distress at the thought. I didn't feel prepared at all.

"I don't want a repeat of what happened last time, but we also cannot wait until he disappears again. I will give you a month to get yourself ready, does that sound fair~?" He asked, patting my head reassuringly.

"Are you sure he's not going to leave in that month?" I asked, concerned.

"It's okay Little Lia, trust me on this one~" he simply said, taking a pot full of marmalade from literally nowhere and eating a few spoonfuls of it.  
Blergh, I'm sure that's no way to eat that thing.

"Alright... I guess I can do that..." I mumbled, looking at the marmalade in the mortician's hands with obvious distress. He was going to get sick.

"Alright~! Then I hope you're ready for your intensive training session~!" The mortician got the biggest, widest smile in the history of mankind, chartreuse eyes shining creepily in the dim light.

Uh-oh.

"You didn't think I would let you just laze around in that month, right~?" He smiled wider, eyes digging holes in my head as he loomed over me menacingly.

"Of-of course n-not..." I mumbled. I had _hoped_ , of course... but that didn't mean that had been my plan...

Urgh...

"How about we start by practicing this _useful_ skill the clown gave you~?" The reaper smiled, knowing by the end of this training session I wouldn't want to wait a whole month. He was going to take revenge for my remedial classes, right? I saw it in his eyes, this was revenge plain as day.

I would die before this month came to an end.

* * *

Biscuit was a good dog. Despite any of the white haired male's claims, Biscuit wasn't a bad dog, nor was Biscuit stupid. Biscuit knew what was going on, right before Biscuit tackled Biscuit's human to the ground, but Biscuit would never allow Biscuit's master to be claimed by any other than Biscuit!

Biscuit liked Biscuit's name, as it had been given by Biscuit's Master.  
Biscuit's Master was good. She was kind and gave Biscuit cuddles! She always gave the best hugs and kisses, and she liked to give Biscuit food! Biscuit could get food without help, but it was always nice when Biscuit's Master feed Biscuit.

Biscuit didn't really like Master's mate, though. He was stealing Biscuit's Master from Biscuit, and Biscuit would never allow that! Biscuit's Master didn't like it when Biscuit and her mate fought though, and because Biscuit was such a good dog, Biscuit didn't rip the white haired thief into pieces.

Biscuit didn't know what to think of Biscuit's Master's toy, either. Biscuit was good, and knew Master didn't want Biscuit to fight with Master's pack, so Biscuit behaved.

Biscuit loved Master a lot! And Biscuit was going to prove it by tackling Master to the ground and kissing Master's face.  
As Master liked to say, Biscuit was a good dog.

"Argh! Biscuit!" Master's voice was the best thing Biscuit could ever hear, and it only made Biscuit love Master more.

"Hi hi hi hi~ need help~?" Master's mate barked at Master, which made Master pout at the white haired male. Hey! Biscuit was here first!

Dejected that the man had stolen Master's attention, I sniffed around for another form of entertainment.  
The small weird dog was nearby! Good, very good! The weird dog, although it smelled strange, was a good playmate and Biscuit always liked good playmates.

Getting off of Master and running to the backyard, Biscuit followed the scent of the weird dog.

The small angry dog was basking in the sun outside in the backyard, it was a surprisingly sunny day, something unusual, and so the weird angry dog seemed to be taking advantage of that fact.

"Weird dog! Play with Biscuit!" Biscuit barked at the dog. The small angry dog opened its eyes to glare, but didn't otherwise move.

Biscuit was a great playmate, why didn't the weird dog want to play? Biscuit liked to play with the weird dog, and Biscuit was sure the feeling was reciprocated. It couldn't be any other way!

"Biscuit wants to play! Play with Biscuit!" I barked again, frustrated that the small dog wasn't paying Biscuit any attention.

"Go away... I don't want to play." The weird dog yawned, ignoring the way I was circling around it, demanding to play.

The weird dog didn't want to play... who would Biscuit play with, then? I whined walking into the shop.

Master and her mate were huddled together, speaking in hushed whispers. Biscuit was a good dog though, and Biscuit could still hear them.

That didn't mean Biscuit could understand them. Biscuit was learning the meaning to some of the words used by Biscuit's Master, but Biscuit still had a lot to learn.

I just stood there, panting and waiting for someone to notice Biscuit standing here. Because Biscuit was a good dog and could wait until Master wasn't busy.

...

"Lia~...hi hi hi~" Master's mate snickered, quickly relaxing and softly looking out the window and taking a deep breath. "Mhmm~... It's so peaceful in the evenings..." Biscuit saw Master nod from her hiding place in her mate's chest. "Nothing to distract us from living, huh...?" he mumbled, still looking out the window.  
Biscuit didn't really get what they were saying, but they looked about to fall asleep. And Biscuit wouldn't allow them to fall asleep without Biscuit.

So Biscuit, being a very good dog, jumped right in between them, trying to get them to finally pay Biscuit attention.  
Biscuit had already waited enough, right?

"Ugh... Biscuit..." Master whined, hugging her mate softly. I perked up.  
Biscuit knew Biscuit's name. That meant Biscuit was a good dog, right? I licked Master's face in gratitude for Master's praise. Master was good!

"Hi hi hi~ and there goes our peace~" Master's mate petted Biscuit's head allowing Biscuit to settle with them. "I still don't feel like doing anything, though~" the white haired man chipped, completely relaxed.

Biscuit wouldn't mind joining. So Biscuit did exactly that. Master seemed slightly disappointed, but petted Biscuit's head with gusto anyways.

I yawned happily, enjoying the return of the peaceful atmosphere surrounding Biscuit's Master and her mate.

"Did I ever tell you about a dream I had recently~?" The white male mumbled, a smile plastered on his face as he looked at Biscuit's Master.

"Mhmm...? No, I don't think so..." Master said around a yawn, rubbing her eyes with her fists.

I closed my eyes, simply letting the voices of those I cared about lull Biscuit to sleep. Biscuit could play with the small weird dog tomorrow, there was no hurry.

One day...

One day.


	34. Chapter 33

**Hello! Thanks for not killing me for last week's short chapter, I hope to have more time to write from now on, so that hopefully won't happen again.  
** **I hope you all have a beautiful day, because you deserve it! You all are the best readers I could have ever asked for!**

 **Esper Mammon: Biscuit is a cutie indeed. I had wanted to make their point of view for a while, but never found the time.  
I didn't make Zephyr very likeable did I? Well, he's not supposed to be a nice guy, but I hope that with time and an explanation he becomes a little easier to understand... but not more likeable, that's not gonna change. And he's a bit... special, so don't expect him to have some terrible backstory that will make us feel bad for him. **

**guadadominguez4: Half of the time, Biscuit is a poor innocent victim of their shenanigans, the other half Biscuit is the one behind those shenanigans.  
Well, I don't want to make a spoiler, but you're definitely gonna have a field day with this. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"My, my~ what a lovely day to read a book, don't you think so, my dear~?" I heard Taker's chipper voice behind me, and I immediately felt my skin crawl. He had spoken in that deceitfully innocent voice he liked to use, which for everyone with common sense immediately translated into creepy.

I slowly looked up from the book I had been reading, meeting eyes with the mortician, who was smiling a wide smile, almost showing teeth. I felt myself inch away from him slightly.  
"I... guess...?" I mumbled, knowing I was surely in trouble, but still not understanding _why_. Maybe he just woke up with the wrong foot? He was kind of scary when he was grumpy...

"If you have time to be reading, don't you think you have time to train, dear~?" He widened his already big smile, green eyes shining dangerously.

Oh, so that's what this is about... oops.

I tried to jump away from the reaper, but he had already caught me, taking me in his arms and lifting me up without trouble. I ended up dangling limply from his arm.  
"Sorry..." I quickly mumbled, knowing I was the one delaying our inevitable trip to France.

Undertaker blinked, immediately turning down a notch his creepiness.

"Love" he started, immediately using the soft voice he used when he tried to reassure me I did nothing wrong. "It's okay. I know you have been training without me, and I'm proud of your hard work" he smiled, creepy aura all but gone.

I blinked. He changed his mind?

"I still don't want to see you read _that_." He glared, snatching the book from my hands. "Especially when we're waiting on you before going to kick ass" he grumbled, putting the book away.

"Why? I thought that was supposed to be for me?" I asked, referring to the book.

"It's not _for_ you. But for _me_ to learn how to deal with _you_." He corrected.

The book in question was the one the mortician had started reading out of the blue some time ago.

' _I can live without my significant other and other lies to tell yourself_ ' was the name of the book. It was actually quite the good read. Despite the dubious and long title, it gave quite the good advice to deal with the loss of a loved one.  
If only it didn't assume that everyone was going to die before I did, it would actually not be that depressing.  
Although... now that I think about it, it's probably because it's for reapers...

The reaper sighed, pulling me out of my thoughts. I wiggled a bit, trying to get a foothold for when he let me stand on my own without much success. I was too high from the ground.

"Mhmm..." he hummed, walking towards the kitchen. "Yes~... you're firming up from all that hard work~ he he he~" he giggled, inordinately happy.

I blinked from my place dangling from his arm. Huh? Where had that come from? I know I have been training, but I don't really...  
Is it me or is Taker being especially hard to understand today?

"What?" I asked, not really understanding what he was talking about.

"Nothing~! You're just very beautiful~ did I tell you that already~? Because you are~" he was smiling a wide smile, completely happy. It made my heart melt, even if I knew he was probably distracting me with another subject. "Just felt like telling you that~" he giggled, finally letting me touch the floor when we got to the kitchen, where a magnificent sight was waiting for me.

Cookies~!

"Although I still don't understand how you manage not to get fat with how many cookies you're eating..." I heard him mumble after a few seconds of watching me stuff my face.

I turned around, glaring.  
"I hope you're not calling me fat" I growled as I put yet another cookie in my mouth.

"I wasn't~" he chipped, amused. His smirk turned into a pleased smile after I offered him one of the cookies I was eating. "Adorable~" he mumbled, biting into the cookie.

Humph! I am _not_. He's just an idiot.

I looked at him from the corner of my eye, watching him stealthily put another cookie in his mouth, making me narrow my eyes sourly at him. That was mine...

"I share with you because I love you... you don't need to hide it when you steal my cookies..." I grumbled through clenched teeth. Saying that had been more difficult than it should have, but I made the effort because I really love him, and he's more important than cookies.

But only because he _can_ make cookies.

And because he's funny and makes me laugh. And the fact he's handsome doesn't hurt. And because he gives the best cuddles. And because I love him.

I blushed like a tomato, stuffing my face full of cookies to ward off the incoming teasing.

"Awww~ that's one adorable expression you are wearing, love~" as expected, the mortician pounced on the clear opportunity. "I wonder what were you thinking about~... something naughty~?" He teased, smiling as he poked my stuffed cheeks.

"..." Lucky I was excused from answering thank to my foresight. I couldn't speak with my mouth full and cheeks stuffed with cookies like a chipmunk.

"Hi hi hi~" He continued, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. "If you wanna~... I can make that fantasy into reality, love~ you just have to swallow those cookies and ask through that pretty little mouth of yours~" he was smirking a very teasing smirk, expecting me to say something or react in some way.

I really don't know _what_ exactly he wants me to say, as I hadn't been thinking anything naughty, and I'm not very good at improvising... so I was forced to say the truth.

"I was thinking that I really, really love you." Tersely stated. "A lot." I quickly added, when I saw the mortician's expression quickly morph. I don't know what his expression morphed into, but he was blushing a lot, so I guess he wasn't expecting that.

I heard a whine coming from the reaper right in front of me.  
"Liaaaaa~... that was so..." his smirk was quickly replaced with a wavering smile, completely red faced. "How am I even supposed to seduce you into bed if you always surprise me like this~..." despite his words, he didn't look sad or contrite at all, if anything he looked like his face wasn't able to show his happiness, making him look like was about to cry.

Maybe he was.

"Taker... are you crying?" I worried. "If you want it that much we can go to bed early... or you can rest while I take care of the shop." I frowned a bit, a bit worried about his state.

"I said _seduce_ , little Lia. Seduce you into bed. If I seduce you into bed, sleeping is the last thing we're doing~!" He whined, still looking teary eyed, as he nudged my shoulder with his face, resting his head there.

"Okay, Okay! I just didn't catch that part... if you need it that badly we can do naughty things, but please stop crying..." I quickly amended. In my defense, he could have seduced me into bed to sleep, just like I could seduce him into giving me cookies... if I even knew how to seduce someone in the first place, which I don't.

"Not if you say it like that~!" He immediately refused, whining. "I wasn't planning this, Okay? I just saw you blush and took my chance~..." he defended himself raising hi head from my shoulder. "I don't want you to bed me if you don't wanna..." he mumbled, taking another cookie with a pout and a frown.  
I stared intently at the cookie until it disappeared inside the reaper's mouth.

Yes, I definitely love him. Or else I would have died from seeing him steal one of my cookies.

His beautiful chartreuse eyes rested on me for a fleeting second, quickly going back to another distant point so I couldn't see him blush.

"Taker... are you sick?" I finally asked, confused about his strange actions.

"No I'm not!" He whined, taking another cookie and leading it into his mouth.

Noooo! Not the last one!

I tackled him into the ground, kissing his lips and taking a bite off of the cookie currently residing there. After a second of struggling I managed to steal the cookie from the surprised mortician's mouth.

Okay, I'm fine. I can share... just not the last cookie. Anything but the last cookie.

I looked at the mortician who was just staring dazedly at the infinite space inside a dust particle, looking like he was considering the meaning of the universe or some deep thought like that, eyes wide and lips parted.

I looked at some cookie crumbs still on his mouth. Mhmm... decisions...

I was interrupted from my decision making by a reaper glomping me with a furious tackle. I found myself sat on the kitchen table.  
"If you break it, you're buying for a new one." I warned grumpily, staring at the reaper leaning over my body, too embarrassed to say anything.

He didn't answer, instead he just stared kissing my neck, making me squirm as I took a fistful of his hair, blushing fiercely.  
I yelped when a hand opened my furisode, leaving my chest exposed.

The mortician put a hand on my breast, kissing my lips with fervor as I wrapped myself around him.  
I tried to bite off any sounds without much success, and hid my face in his neck, embarrassed by the meow-like sound.

I heard a giggle, but he thankfully didn't comment, as he slowly crept lower so he could softly caress me over my pants and panties. I tried to squirm to get closer to him, but he prevented it by pinning me down, forcing me to just take it.  
He was normally more than happy to let me take control, as he enjoyed my clueless panicked face every time he just laid there as he let me do whatever to him, so his controlling gesture came as a bit of a surprise, even if a welcome one.

"Tsk Tsk, Little Lia~ such a naughty girl~" he murmured softly against my ear as he enjoyed my shudders. "Don't think I didn't know what your intention was when you kissed me, love~" he smiled widely, and a bit menacingly. "So I just might have to teach you a lesson~" as he said this he suddenly stopped touching me altogether, leaving me there strewn across the kitchen table with my furisode open.

With a last self-satisfied smirk thrown in my direction, he left.

...

...

I felt my eyes widen as I took a deep breath when I realized what exactly happened.

That... that... that... stupid... idiot... reaper!

That's... low! That's terribly low! If he thinks I will forgive him for this he's completely wrong! I'm never sharing cookies with him again!

I trembled at the cold air touching my skin, desiring a certain reaper's own skin to warm up mine. Or just touching me, anything is good.

With a huff of incredulity I tried to go on all fours on the kitchen table, needing some kind of stability to properly process what had happened.  
Taker had been touching me... good. Then we kissed... perfect. And then he left, leaving me all cold and bothered... That's horrible! How dares he?!

I sniffed a bit, looking around to see if I could spot the reaper. The kitchen was empty.

I carefully stood on wobbly legs, and slowly made my way to find the reason behind my current state.

I found him sitting on a coffin, casually reading the book he had stolen from me not even an hour ago.

"Taker..." I mumbled, completely red faced. Was I really going to do this?

"Yes dear~? Do you want more cookies~?" He casually asked. He looked like he normally did, not even raising his eyes from the page of the book.

Was he really unaffected?!

I bit my lips, thinking on how to say this. "You left something halfway..." I mumbled, to embarrassed to be more descriptive.

"Did I~? My apologies dear~, can it wait~? I am currently a bit busy, you see~" He answered, still not looking at me.

I bit my lip harder.

"Okay" Was what I wanted to say, but my need was currently overpowering my patience, so instead I grumbled a "No, it can't wait."

The reaper finally deigned to raise his eyes to look at me.

He would look completely oblivious and innocent if it wasn't for the self satisfied smirk plastered on his face. And the vibrant blush on his cheeks, but I really didn't do any to merit that yet.

"Really, now~? What is it, then~? How may I help you, Love~?" He sang. It was then I realized he wanted me to beg.

I bit my lower lip so hard I felt a metallic taste when I licked it afterwards. I didn't feel any pain, it was drowned by the frustration of not getting what I needed so desperately.

Grrr...

No! You know what?! I don't need the reaper to help me with this! He can go read his book or whatever he wants! I will just go and pleasure myself!

"Biscuit is missing, and I want them back before lunch." I stated, making the reaper blink in surprise as I turned around to leave the shop.

Really?! I HAD to take this personally? Ugh! I just _know_ I'm gonna just sit on the bed as I wallow in my misery!

It's not the same without the reaper, and it's not as fun without him... it lacks... something. The overwhelming feeling of being wanted and loved, maybe. Maybe the comforting presence next to me, knowing he's there next to me, or maybe it's the way he's always giggling about something or another, maybe it's because of the ways he looks at me with those soft eyes of his that made me go all red in the face, or the way his soft skin brushes mine while we're in bed toghether...

I stomped upstairs, throwing myself on the bed and wailing in despair against the pillow.

Idiot idiot idiot! I'm sure Taker has a reason for punishing me in such a way, so I shouldn't be angry at him. If fact, he's probably the one with a reason to be angry, as he's punishing me.

And I'm not angry, I swear! Maybe a bit grumpy and with a imperious need for his personal touch, but not angry!

I wailed harder against the pillow, lamenting the lost of my one lone chance.

I just had to _ask_ for it! It's not that hard! Taker does it without problems all the time... how does he even do it? I don't know how he managed to always bring that conversation at will at any moment. Maybe it's a gift.

I sniffed, wondering if I could still go back to pitifully plead for some comfort. By this point even a hug would be good enough. I just wanted a hug from him as he tells me he's not angry, or that he will forgive me... or at least telling me how to make it up to him... even a pat on the head would make me feel better now...

I squirmed, hoping it would calm me down, only managing to make me feel even worse.

Takeeeeer! I felt my eyes threatening to burst into tears.

Hugging the pillow wasn't comforting enough, it wasn't enough like Taker to draw any comfort from. The hug was too one sided, the pillow was too temperate, it was too soft, it didn't have his muscles, it didn't make me laugh at the most inappropriate times...

Unable to deal with my own thoughts, I decided to listen to the silence of the shop, trying to move my thoughts away from the recent situation.

The shop was quiet as the dead, nothing could be heard as I listened closely, trying to figure out the mortician's position.  
I didn't hear anything downstairs, not the soft creak of silent steps nor the soft ripples of the pages of a book being turned. Maybe he left the book aside.

I squirmed again, biting my hands so I would stop biting my lip.

I wasn't sure if I would be able to hear him if he went to the basement, but I tried anyways, being rewarded only with silence.  
Maybe he left to fetch Biscuit?

I should go cook something...

I slowly got up, not satisfied at all. And trying to silently walk to the door, a bit self conscious of breaking the solemn silence of the shop. I felt like I wasn't supposed to be out of the room, but that was a silly thought, a leftover from other times. Even if he was angry at me, Taker really wouldn't lock me here or forbid me from leaving the bedroom.

I opened the door, planing to cook something that would make the reaper forgive me, when I found myself face to face with the aforementioned reaper.

...

We just stared at each other in silence, not knowing how to react.

Undertaker looked like he hadn't really wanted to get caught in this situation, which was quite surprising seeing as he was usually very perceptive... it probably had to do with my stealth skill...

He was kneeling in front of the door I just opened, leaving him kneeling at the height of my stomach, looking up at me with a half scared expression. Maybe it was because of his wide eyes coupled with being on the floor that gave him a half scared expression, as he was only surprised.

By my part, I wasn't sure what kind of expression I was making, but I knew my face was red at the very least, thanks to my still uncomfortably unmet need for his touch.

We just stared at each other, eyes wide, no one saying a word. He slowly, carefully rose to his full height, taking away some of the vulnerability he had seemed to exude when I caught him kneeling.

I had to stop looking down at the place he had been kneeling in to raise my head to look up at him.

We both kept silent as he slowly picked himself up.

"So..." he started, drawling unnecessarily long the one word like he was expecting me to say something, _anything_.  
For my part, I was to busy trying not to tackle him to say anything, especially when he was angry at me. I should apologize...

"...sorry..." I mumbled, looking down.  
"I'm sorry little Lia..." he said at the same time, hastily apologizing again for interrupting me.

"Sorry" I repeated, to which he blinked in surprise.

"You are... not angry...?" He carefully asked, like though I was going to start shouting at him or something.

"I thought you were angry at me..." I looked up at him, curious why he thought I was angry at him.

"Me~?" He huffed in disbelief. "I'm not the one who caught you peeking into my bedroom after you left me in the cold with a hard on..." he stated, obviously insinuating that he had been trying to spy on me... for whatever reason. "even if I _could_ have happened..." he mumbled, looking away.

"Uh..." I mumbled, not knowing how to answer. "I thought you were angry... for the kiss... and you were punishing me..." I mumbled, squirming in place as I tried to keep the tears in, looking from side to side ashamedly.

"Little Lia..." he muttered, wiping my eyes clean of tears. "I'm sorry you thought that way... that was not my intention at all..." he apologized, hugging me.

I immediately sighed in relief. That was the exact amount of muscles and firmness I needed in a hug, I loved the way he embraced me completely, dwarfing me like I was a plushie. It was the perfect temperature, if a bit cold for normal standards.

"Well, it's a relief you aren't throwing things at my head, it would be a little hard to avoid them while giving you a hug~!" He giggled, making me laugh, too. It was stupid and it wasn't that funny, but I was so relieved he wasn't angry I could do nothing but laugh.

"Taker..." I mumbled, shyly looking up at the reaper. "I need your help... with... something..." I bit out, feeling my face burning up.

"Really, now~? What did you need help with, my love~?" He asked, giggling at my disgruntled face.

After a bit of consideration, becasue I was being really stupid, I determinedly took his hand and put it inside my pants, making him cough in surprise.

"Well, that is one way to ask~" he smiled. "I have to admit I almost gave in when you came into the shop with your chest still naked~ what would have happened if someone entered~?" He giggled, making me blink and realize I never tied my furisode back together.

"They would have gotten flashed" I stated the obvious, immediately blushing furiouly when the hand in my pants decided to act.

"Now, we cannot have that, can we~? I would definitely have not been able to resist in that scenario~" he smirked, moving his hand as I held him tight, sighing from how good his hand felt.

"Aaahhh..." I panted, trying to hide my face by any means possible. How did I even manage to scrap enough courage to put his hand there?

"I was wondering~..." he casually stated, acting like the hand making me squirm wasn't his. "Were you about to do this to yourself, love~? Was that your intention~? Because I definitely wouldn't mind a show~" he smiled widely, amused green eyes shining in mischief.

"I couldn't... it's not fun without you..." I mumbled, unable to lie or make an excuse when he had me in this state.

He blinked, hand stopping in bafflement as he blushed from head to toe.

I whined in dismay she he stopped touching me.

"Liaaaa~! You can't say those things when I doing this~! It make me want to cuddle you into oblivion~! I was supposed to seduce you as an apology for seducing you~! We're back to where we started~! With you saying cute things when you're supposed to say naughty things~!" He wailed, covering his face with his hands.

I wailed in distress.

Taker, no!

I tackled him to the best of my ability with my clumsy legs, wrapping me around him so he wouldn't escape.

"Takeeeeeeer~! Please I need you! Put yourself back together!" I pleaded.

"I can't~! That was so cuuuuuute~!" He threw his head back, wailing with me, but for an entirely different reason.

"Takeeeeeeeeeer!" I begged from my place on the mortician's lap.

"I'm sorry~!" He apologized, hugging me tight so I wouldn't fall. "That was just so cute and adorable~!" He defended himself. "Why do you keep doing this to me~!"

Really, how is this my fault?!

* * *

I awoke to the tall reaper's reassuring voice, mumbling to himself about how would he cut open and take our latest guest's liver to examine.

"Mhnghmm..." I grumbled, too tired to deal with whatever was bothering him.

With time, I learned he only talked to himself when something was on his mind and wanted a distraction.

"Good morning my love~ how did you sleep~? You need to wake up or we will be late~" He sang into my ear, making me swat him away.

"Late for what...?" I mumbled, trying to remember if I had something I had to be in time for, today. The only thing that came to mind was the daily chore of buying the ingredients for our breakfast.

...

Fudge! Had I slept in for so long that it was lunch time already?!

I jumped out of bed, trying to guess what time was it from the light coming from the window.

It's dark!

Fudge frog and _fuck_! Did I sleep the whole day away?! Why didn't that bastard wake me?!

"Well~ that wasn't exactly the reaction I was expecting~" he muttered, looking passively how I scrambled around the room in an attempt to dress myself.

"What time is it?!" I demanded as I jumped into my pants. Could I still make it? Or have they closed already?

"It's five twenty, love..." he answered, tilting his head to the side.

" _Five_ twenty?" I turned to him. Impossible! It was too dark to be only five! At least that meant I still had time to buy dinner... ahhh... I'm so tired...

"Five twenty in the morning, dear~" He clarified, making me stop dead on my tracks.

I slowly, very slowly turned around to face him, giving him a carefully blank poker face.

"In the morning." I stated, not sure if I should proceed with the imperious urge to bash his head until I fixed whatever was wrong with his brain to wake me up at freaking _five in the morning_!

"Taker! What the hell?! Why would you even give me a scare like that!" I demanded, tiredly letting myself fall on the bed.

"I really don't know what you're talking about, love~" he innocently stated. Did I really misunderstand?

No, he definitely knew what he was doing, the bastard!

"You... you... you are a very stupid old man." I grumbled, more tired than angry. I knew I should be angry, but honestly I'm more relieved than anything. Fuck, that was scary. "Taker... Why? Why would you even?" I tiredly asked, looking as the mortician tilted his head to the side.

"Sorry love~... I didn't think you would react like this. I just wanted to make sure you didn't forget our promise to go visit Vincent today~" he giggled, smiling a bit too wide to make be believe he was really okay.

"I don't remember any promise like that..." I whispered, not really understanding when did I make such promise.

"It was last night~ you were to fall asleep~ hi hi hi hi~ little Lia was very cute when she muttered: 'whatev... makes you happy... and go tho 'leep... tahker.' You were making this adorably tired face~ so sweet~" He cooed, giggling at my unamused expression.

"You do know I would have agreed even if you didn't plot to wiggle a promise out of me while I'm half asleep, right?" I asked, not really understanding why the mortician would go through the trouble when I would have obviously accepted.

"But would you have accepted to go at six in the morning~?" He dared, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes." I stated. If it was something as important to him as this, of course I would have gone! At whatever hour was necessary. Even if I'm tired.

I sighed at the impossible reaper i lived with.

"Come on taker... I guess you still want to open shop after this..." I mumbled, continuing to put on my clothes, this time more calmly.

"Thanks love. This means a lot." I mumbled.

Even if what he did to wake me up should have granted him some grumpy reactions for some time, I could see that he was still hurting inside, so I tried to be there for him, as we went to visits Vilvent at the Phantomhive cemetery.

And if he shed some tears while there, I would keep that information to the grave.


	35. Chapter 34

**Hello dear readers! We are swiftly approaching the expected start of cannon! 35 chapters (and then some more that still havent been published) just to get there... well, I hope you all enjoyed this non-cannon stuff, because I really doubt I will be able to convince our little Lia to stick her nose in all of Phanthomhive's business, although I will definitley try!**

 **Esper Mammon: I didn't either, but apparently to Taker it is. I swear I might be the writer but half of the time I'm not the one deciding these things!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"Hi hi hi hi~ my~ my~ little earl~ did you get smaller~? If you die suddenly you will need a specially made coffin for you~ would you like this humble mortician's help with your funeral arrangements~? I would only need your measures~ he he he~" The mortician offered, a challenging smirk in his face as he terrified the little earl.

By my part I was busy staring in horror at the demon hound posing as a butler to chastise the reaper or even smother the earl in a hug.

The bad dog was actually Sebastian! I mean... yes, that was obvious as Sebastian was the name he had introduced himself by, but when I say 'Sebastian' I am referring to the Phantomhive's dog! I was right all along, he's a dog in human form!  
Well, they haven't actually confirmed anything, but mainly because I didn't ask... because I couldn't, I was busy staring. But the fact that he was with Phantomhive was proof enough.

I don't even know if the little Phantomhive _knows_ his butler is a demon dog, and I'm a bit too afraid to ask or point it out. What if the dog doesn't take it nicely? Yeah... better not to anger the fire-spitting demon dog. Such a bad dog! I still haven't forgiven him! He was _so_ rude!

I can't quite remember what he did, but I remember I got scared, and that he's a bad dog! That's enough for me to not like him. At all. Rude bad dog! Terrible dog! He should be grounded or something! Biscuit is so much better behaved that this "Sebastian"… Stupibastian, more like. I don't like him at all.

"Why are you here, Undertaker?" The earl asked sourly. "I thought you already gave me what I needed." The earl's voice was accusing, as if he suspected the mortician had refrained from sharing something with him and cheated him out of his… not money, as Taker didn't accept that as payment, but he _had_ made him laugh, so the earl had definitely paid the older man. In laughter.

"Hi hi hi~ my~ my~ so impatient~... he he he~" Undertaker teased, enjoying the earl's disgruntled face at his words. "The thing is~ I have a little gift for you~ hi hi hi~" The mortician almost broke down laughing at the earl's grimace when he heard that, but miraculously managed. "I found a little detail that might prove interesting to you~" he took a file he had brought with him from the folds of his uniform, handing it in the earl's direction before quickly taking it back from the earl's prying fingers before he could have a look. "Ah ah ah~ not so fast young earl~ I still want my payment~ hi hi hi~" The mortician giggled again when the child took a wary step back. "But since I was the one to come forth with this information I will let you off the hook as long as you keep the perpetrator off of the radar for a few weeks at the least~" He stated cheerfully before lowering his voice and whispering "or indefinitely~"

I'm not a master at those things, but that sounded an awful lot like: 'as long as you keep him out of my way I don't care what you do' which is... a bit worrying thing to say, as he _was_ speaking to a child, after all.

"I see... I believe you have yourself a deal. You won't hear from him for at least two weeks, the state he will be in when you do hear from him, that I cannot say." The kid, merely a child smiled cynically before snatching the file from the reaper, giving it to the bad dog afterwards, who sent me a smirk when he noticed me inching away cautiously. Bad dog, stupid dog.

We exited the Phantomhive state before going to our next destination.

The clock started ticking, and I never worked well under pressure.

* * *

"Are you ready, little Lia~?" A certain mortician asked, smirking wide at my petrified expression.

"Yes! I mean... no? I mean... well, I'm not so sure about that, but..." I stammered, backtracking on my original answer faster than the reaper could say 'little Lia' with that patronizing but still chiding tone of his. I could already hear it, and I hadn't even let him say it at all.

"Hi hi hi hi~ such a cute assistant I have~ hi hi hi~ and funny, too~!" He giggled, apparently deciding to take my uncertainty as a joke.

It definitely could be, considering we were already on French ground. Well, almost, we just had to take our things and finally touch sweet sweet firm ground, finally getting off of the ship.  
I don't get seasick, but...

...

... I _don't_ get seasick. Let's just leave it at that. The upset stomach could easily be answered by my nerves, which hadn't let me have a good night rest since we boarded. End of story. Not seasick at all.

"What if they don't like me? What if it's illegal for woman to wear pants in France? What if they look at me funny? What if they demand I put a corset?! I can't do that, I'll die suffocated! What if they say Biscuit looks like a vampire and put a stake through its chest?! What if someone talk to me in that French accent that French people have? What if-" I quickly rambled, gripping the mortician's arm in a death grip.

"Love, you are not illegal _anywhere_. People will look weird at you for sure-" I whined in distress, but the reaper just kept talking, not minding my pale face. "-but no one will say anything as long as you keep close and quiet, which is something you do wonderfully, okay love~?" He patted my head, patiently enduring my clingy attitude.

I nodded uncertainly, taking comfort on the reaper's hug and Biscuit's comfortable warmth. They had seemed to pick up my distress, making them fidgety and clingy. The good thing that came from a fidgety and clingy Biscuit was that they were quiet and didn't stray very far from me, so I guess that was at least a plus.

"Do you understand what we have to do once we leave the things at the inn? Don't leave there anything you don't mind leaving behind, I cannot guarantee you will be able to pick them up afterwards." The mortician quickly reviewed as he slowly guided me towards the place where everyone was getting off of the ship.

"But I can't carry everything on me all the time…" I mumbled, making the mortician stare at me blankly.

"Lia, you have a dimension to story things in just to yourself. You can carry anything for as long as you need." Taker stated, making me blush fiercely for forgetting and making me hide my face of his chest. It was true after all. I think I still have a steak from the time I came here, still hot to the touch. Which is strange because it has been some years since I cooked that thing. A lifetime ago, almost. I thing I'm growing fond of that thing, I don't think I could eat it anymore. I have known it for longer that I have known Undertaker himself! That has to mean something!

"Half of these things are not even mine..." I commented worriedly from my hiding place, trying not to think of the fact that I was unhealthily attached to a plate of food.

"Of course not~" he laughed like the very thought was ludicrous. "Those are a decoy in case anyone wants to know who replaced poor Mr. and Mrs. Andrei at the meeting, of course by then we won't be here any longer and anything left behind will be nothing but lies." He smirked, putting on a hat that wasn't his on before going down with our things in a hand while he snaked an arm around my midsection. It was strange seeing him with a hat that wasn't his usual top hat. It was a fedora hat, and he couldn't have looked stranger even if he tried. Of course I wasn't any better with the braid I had been forced to style my hair in.

"So... Uh..." I stuttered, nervously looking around.

"Relax, just act natural, like a respectable couple of wife and husband. There's nothing interesting about a family trip, maybe to visit old family? How fluent are you with French? Maybe an aunt of yours?" He rambled nonsensically, actually making me feel calmer by his own relaxed attitude. "If not, I can be the one to have someone here to visit. I don't think Mr. Andrei has any family here... maybe an old friend." He kept babbling, easing all my worries despite not really understanding half of what he was saying.  
It was a bit hard to panic when he was acting so blasé.

"Uh... fluent? Uh... I know how to count to nine in French. And... That's it." I mumbled, a bit ashamed at the flabbergasted expression that immediately overcame the reaper's face.

"Nine?! Not even ten? What happened to youngsters these days? In my time, everyone knew French, it was the most vital language to know when you wanted to make yourself understood! Well, not really, it was actually Italian and Latin, but only foplings use Latin for anything other than religion nowadays... French hasn't been that important since..." the reaper interrupted himself, before blinked surprised at thin air. Then he looked at me like he just realized I was there. "Never you mind, love~. Just an old man talking. I guess it is something that changes over time, isn't it~? Don't worry, I'm not angry. I'm just a bit restless, it's been a while~ it's quite exciting~" He reassured me as he fidgeted a bit, trying to resist the puppy eyes I was showing him.

"Sorry I don't know French..." I apologized, a bit thrown off by the quickly changing subject. The mortician seemed to be all over the place. He gave me a side look before sighing remorsefully, shaking his head at my abashed expression.

"My my~ Less apologies and more actions~ when we get home I'll be teaching you French~" he teased, managing to turn my sad face into a chagrinned one. "...right after those promised dancing lessons you always sneak out off." I squeaked in embarrassment at the reminder. "I don't mind if you step on my foot thirty times in an hour, but I _do_ mind if you try to throw the cookie dog at my face to evade the lesson." He pointed out, tightly hugging me when I used his chest as a hiding place for my reddish face. Probably to avoid me from fleeing. Not that I could, as I would get lost in seconds.

I ignored the "cute" comment coming from my partner in crime. But I did pay attention when he decided to keep reviewing the plan to kidnap Zephyr like nothing happened.

"So~... we're supposed to be Mr. and Mrs. Andrei, do try to at least remember that~" he teased, helping me up into a carriage that would presumably lead us to the place we would be staying at. "I guess I could have made you my sister instead, but where's the fun in that~? Besides it's easier to explain away a sudden wife than a mysterious sister. Maybe I knocked you up, so that's why I had to marry you so suddenly~?" He suggested, making me look at him.

"All of that talk is making my head spin. Just make up something easy to remember." I said, everything he said having flown completely over my head.

"Easy to remember~? Okay: you're a cunning vixen that has managed to snag me. How does that sound?" He offered, smiling wide at me.

"I'm a _What_?!" I exclaimed, alarmed by his words. If I have to act all confident and cunning, let me tell you I'm _not_ able. I cannot _fake_ confidence! I cannot even have _real_ confidence! And let's not even start with the cunning thing!

"Yeah, didn't think so either. I was planning to go along the lines of you being a poor young girl seduced by me, and then being forced by your father to marry after I knocked you up. It's more common than you may think." He said, completely unconcerned I hadn't put myself together yet. He really was a bit all over the place, when he was excited. I kind of wish he would slow down a bit.

I put a hand on my head, trying to ward off the headache the mortician was giving me, looking out the window in an attempt to distract myself.

"Uh... so what am I supposed to remember?" I asked, not able to give myself much rest as the anxiety of not doing anything arose. Maybe that's how the reaper felt?

"You're pregnant." He stated, so seriously that it made me blink, flabbergasted at the blunt statement.

"Am not" I threw back, a bit more offended than it was probably warranted, considering the circumstances. "I'm pretty sure I would know better than you" I defended myself, a bit offended that the mortician thought he knew these things better than I.

"Lia. Not _you_ , per se. But the lady you're impersonating. _Acting_ , remember~? You have to do that." He reminded me, suddenly a few things starting to make sense.

"Ah..." I drawled slowly, trying to make sense of this puzzle. "Why?" I finally asked after a few seconds, lost.

The reaper stared for some seconds more, before sighing and putting his new, horrible fedora on my head. It looked better on me than him, anyways.

"I know for a fact that Zephyr is trying to gain information about the artifa- Tofu" he quickly corrected when a bump on the road made Undertaker hit his head with the top of the carriage. "...to do that he is trying to gain information in the underworld, but as my own influence and contacts haven't let him work, he has gone to France, which is a bit harder for me to keep in touch with, but still close enough to monitor any movements. He has some meetings to exchange information, and _we_ are going to use that to our advantage to get to him." He explained, making my head dizzy. A lot of words, and very little of them made any sense. "Once we infiltrate the meeting we just have to put the man in your pocket dimension and forget all about him -Little Lia, don't fall asleep, I'm still explaining- If we play our cards right, we can leave through the front door like nothing happened. Although I already have a few contingency plans." He talked nonstop, making me sort of sleepy, his creepy voice talking uninterruptedly and unhurriedly, almost like a song. A creepy song that was singing absolute nonsense, but relaxing all the same. "The plan A is very basic, it only consists of passing as our fake identities, and capturing Zephyr without anyone noticing, of course, the chances of any of that occurring are very slim, so if we are detected and exposed I do have a plan in motion. Of course I already count of Zephyr recognizing us when he sees us, so if it turns out that Zephyr is as slow as a certain assistant of mine, I will have to resort to plan C... which consists of getting naked in front of all of France. And then we will dance." He kept singing, words meaningless in the relaxed state I was in. I nodded a few times to he wouldn't think I wasn't listening to him. "And after that, we will make sweet illicit love at the top of the Eiffel Tower, after which we will go to some fancy restaurant where you will make a speech in front of a bazillion people. All of that while still naked." He kept going on, his hand brushing my head softly, further dragging me down into dreamland. "And I will buy you a few dresses, and a new corset so you can wear it at the ceremony. And we will invite the dog. And Phantomhive, while we're at it~" he kept talking.

The sudden mention of Phantomhive made me look up, listening to his words for a change.

"Phantomhive what?" I asked, not having been listening to anything he said.

"Finally~! I thought you were never going to pay any attention to me~" he pouted, giggling when I blushed at being caught.

"So... what happened?" I asked, looking away from the mortician as he cooed.

"Hi hi hi~ Well~... aside from talking about getting naked and giving speeches, I was talking about the plan to trap Zephyr~" he mentioned, poking my cheek when I turned into a ball of embarrassment, trying to avoid the shame. "It's okay love~ I knew you wouldn't pay attention anyways~" He reassured, making me feel even more guilty.

"Sorry..." I mumbled, abashed that not only he had been expecting me to understand nothing of what he was explaining, but that I had proven him completely right.

"As I said, less apologies and more actions~" he tapped my nose. "It doesn't matter, I only want you to remember who you are supposed to be at the very least." He took my face into his hands, leaning his face against mine.

I scrambled for a few seconds to remember _who_ exactly I was supposed to be. A task a bit harder than usual thanks to the reaper's face close proximity to mine.

"I'm your wife, right?" I asked, to which he nodded. I sighed in relief.

"What else~?" He prodded, making me squirm.

"Uh... I'm supposed to be... pregnant?" I asked, uncertain. "I'm don't really know how to act like a pregnant woman, what do I do?" I asked nervously.

"Nothing, It's too early, but that is supposed to be a 'secret'." He said making me confused.

"I thought the secret was that I'm actually not pregnant?" I asked in confusion.

"No, no~. You wouldn't really go around strangers, telling them you are with child, would you~?" I opened my moth, but was quickly silenced by the reaper. "Don't answer that." He put a finger on my lips, making me go silent and listen. "You have to act like you are with child, which means you don't mention it unless necessary. Like someone trying to gain your trust. It would be strange to tell a perfect stranger the same you are telling to someone who is making an effort to get to know you." He advised, making me grimace. "By your face I will assume you didn't get that, did you~?" He asked, making me burry my face in his chest.

"No..." I confirmed, uncomfortably moving from side to side. "Can't I just stay with you all the time, so I don't get into trouble?" I asked, concerned about not being able to remember my part. "What were our names again?" I asked, showing how little prepared I actually was for this.

"Andrei. You are Cecilia, I'm Ricardo. Keep that in mind, love~" He reminded me, soothing my nerves by caressing my head again. I grimaced at his words.

"That name doesn't suit you at all." I stated, disgusted at the name I had to call the reaper by.

"Really~? What name would you rather call me~?" He asked, curious eyebrow raised in askance.

"Uh... I don't know. You are Taker, that's all. I really don't..." I mumbled, flinching at the reprimanding tap on my nose.

"Not funny at all, love~. Live a little, jump the train, do something outrageous~!" He exclaimed, making me blush and squirm nervously at his loud voice. "Just a guess, you will definitely get it wrong anyways, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try~!" He smiled wide at my uncomfortable face. I shook my head. "Just as a suggestion, love. Maybe I could take that name as another alias, if I like it~" he smiled, hugging me tightly so I wouldn't try to escape the conversation.

"I can't!" I whispered in an attempt to balance the reaper's earlier loud exclamation. "I'm not that imaginative. In fact, I'm the most unimaginative person I ever met. And I don't work well under pressure." I whined, trying to look out of the window to avoid the reaper's _look_.

The reaper grumbled a bit, but let me to my devices.  
For my part, I was trying to think of possible alias for the reaper, but I only found one suitable enough: Taker. It was the name I had been calling him by since we met, if felt... _wrong_ to just use another one. But, of course he wouldn't be satisfied just like that, he wanted me to break my brain to scramble up a name for him.  
Maybe something that sounded similar to Undertaker?

"Alexander?" I suggested, making the reaper look at me with a blank stare.

Maybe he had given up, after all, and wasn't just giving me more time to think.

"What?" He asked, still lost in his thoughts. That or he hadn't heard me.

"Uh... Nothing. I just thought... it rings similarly to Undertaker, doesn't it? But, it still feels weird." I mumbled, embarrassedly looking away.

The reaper sighed, but I wasn't looking at him. "Poor, uncreative, unimaginative little Lia~... it must be so hard for you... taking so long just to come up with a name that isn't even that pretty..." He sighed in mock despair.

"Hey! I like that name!" I defended. I found it pretty enough to be deserving of being Undertaker's name, in my opinion. Although that might be because they are somewhat similar. Not in the way they are pronounced, but... they both had the same number of syllables. Maybe that's why. They rang similar to me.

"Well, I don't. It's not that special of a name... look at the name 'Undertaker', it's a great name, very unique! I don't think anyone else is called that~!" He pouted, looking away, ignoring the fact that Undertaker was his profession, not his real name.

"Maybe because _it's not a name you would call your children_. Perhaps?!" I exclaimed in disbelief. Really, this mortician was unbelievable, first he tells me to look for a name, and then he complains because he doesn't like that name.

"Humph!" He pouted, fake-angrily looking away. I don't know why he's angry, though. I should be the one annoyed at him.

"You're impossible" I grumbled, looking back at the reaper only when the horses came to a stop.

We had arrived to our destination. The clock was ticking louder and every second seemed to be the last.

* * *

This was a bad idea.

I don't know what prompted the mortician to think this was an acceptable plan, but I strongly disagree with him.

There's no way we can pull this through.

We were both anxious and restless, fidgeting around the hotel room to leave everything perfect in case anyone followed.  
This was the third time Undertaker re-arranged the clothes to make it seem like a couple had stayed the night here.

Which was kind of pointless since we were supposed to sleep here until the meeting tomorrow, and as far as I was concerned, we were a couple.  
"You don't understand, little Lia. A recently married couple has been staying here, believe me when everyone _but you_ will know what to expect from such a room." He reassured as he threw a tie to the floor before picking it up and flinging it in a random direction. "Mhmmm... No. Maybe on a lamp?" He mused as he kept pacing around the room, leaving everything a mess.

I twitched a bit, feeling the urge of cleaning everything up. Probably from habit.  
Biting my lips I anxiously awaited as the mortician made another round, apparently deciding that everything he had done until now was useless. "There's too much clothes strewn around, it looks more like a theft than a night of passion..." he pouted as he picked everything up. Seizing the chance to do _something_ , I jumped to help him clean.

I was restless, and I wasn't the only one. Biscuit had been quiet all the way, apparently noticing my distress. The demon hound had only misbehaved when they realized they weren't allowed to sleep with us. It broke my heart, but Undertaker said it would appear strange to allow our 'nephew' to sleep with us. I felt that was absolute bullshit, but was too high strung with nerves to say anything.

Leaving the room habitable again, I decided the best we could do was going to sleep. It's not like we can do more, right now...

I looked at the reaper, thinking. My own nervousness wasn't really a surprise, but I would be lying if I said that Undertaker's own restlessness was something I had expected. He was always so calm and sure, it made me wonder why he was like this.

"Are you okay?" I asked, staring at the reaper as he had seemed to be lost in thought, casually fingering the tie he had been trying to place.

"Yes" he mumbled, still not looking at me. He turned to me when I put a hand on his, still staring at him. "I worry there will be a repeat of last time's... accident." He finally relented, grimacing at some thought that crossed his mind.

"You mean the earthquake?" I asked, confused. He shook his head, making me wonder. I realized with a startle he was probably meaning the time I interrupted his fight. "Ah. Sorry... I won't chicken out this time..." I mumbled, eliciting a laugh from the reaper.

"I referred to the time you died, love~" he smiled, in slightly better spirits. "I really don't want you to die, even if the clown will probably deal with it... I..." He seemed to lose his words, just staring at me. I looked at those soft eyes of his, which seemed to be a door to his very soul.  
I had always amazed how Undertaker had always seemed to have such a perfect poker face, but he still managed to rely what he felt with only his eyes.

I touched his cheek, blushing at the amazing man I had right in front of me. He was actually very kind, deep inside those layers of indifference, amusement and creepiness he protected himself with. Undertaker wasn't a bad person, and that is something I doubt I would ever forget.

I stood on the tips of my toes as I slowly guided the mortician's face towards mine, slowly kissing him as he wrapped his arms around my midsection.

"Mhmm~... wanna help me redistributing my clothes like we just had a wild night of passion~?" He giggled, amused at his own suggestion.

I didn't answer, softly guiding him to the bed and making him sit as I slowly caressed him, as softly and carefully as I could. The mortician's smile softened at the gentle touch. "I see~... gentle lovemaking is acceptable too... come here love~..." he whispered bringing me even closer as we became one in a hug full of love.

And if the clock I had been hearing all day became just a little bit more bearable to listen to… well, I wasn't complaining at all.


	36. Chapter 35

**Hey there! I was a bit busy this week, but in the end I managed to get this done! I was honestly afraid I would have to leave you without chapter this week, luckiy it didn't happen!**

 **Forgive me if the comments are short but I ony found the time to do this at the last possible minute.**

 **Esper Mammon: Thanks! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **guadadominguez: Yeah! Sebastian is not gonna appreciate that at all. Honestly it went better than expected... which I don't plan to leave like that!  
**

 **steph557: Haha! I actually considered the idea of doing it if I didn't find the time to finish the chapter, but as it turned out, that wasn't necesary~!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Something woke me up. I could feel the cool pressure of the mortician's bare chest on my back, the darkness behind my eyelids soothing the fear that I might have overslept on such an important day.

I sighed, blearily opening my eyes to see nothing amiss, the mortician's arm around my midsection tightening minutely before relaxing again. The silence only broken by my own breaths.

Seeing as nothing was out of place after all, I closed my eyes.

"This is the last time you leave me to sleep with the dog, do I make myself clear?" An angry voice intruded the silence of the room. Opening my eyes again revealed Tofu sitting in front of my face, angry frown clear despite the darkness of the room.

"Mhmm... m'kay..." I mumbled, hugging the pillow as I let myself fall asleep.

A dog whine followed by something nudging it's way between the reaper and I prevented me from giving in to sleep, followed by something grumbling behind me, the reaper's familiar morning grumble as he tried to kick Biscuit out, clearing the haze of my mind enough to realize I was hugging a real pillow instead of the reaper, and abandoned the pillow with disgust in favor of the pillow I had been trying to hug all along.

The mortician settled, giving up the battle with Biscuit now that they couldn't sneak between us as the dog settled peacefully next to me, snuggling to the best of their ability.

"Grrr... The things I am forced to do..." I heard the clown mutter as he slowly tried to get off of bed.

An arm fumbling behind me later, I grabbed the clown and softly deposited them next to my chest, where they made a show of growling grumpily before settling in.

A sigh was heard from the mortician, before he pulled me closer.  
"Morning... Lia... little... ugh..." he spoke some words but I wasn't sure if they weren't supposed to make any sense, or if I was just too tired to understand them.

"Night... Taker..." I sleepily answered, not sure what were we even talking about. It was a relaxing moment of reprieve before yesterday's anxiety returned, I knew, but I still wanted this moment to last a little bit longer.

Just a little bit longer.

* * *

I awoke completely relaxed after a surprisingly nice sleep.

I let myself enjoy that reprieve for a while more, laying on the bed next to my loved ones. I could get used to this.

"Little Lia... why do I feel a cat sleeping on me~?" As if he magically knew when I was awake, the mortician's sleepy voice rang through the room, making me want to snuggle him more. He sounded adorable when he was sleepy.

"You're imagining things. There's no cat here." I mumbled, giving in into my desires and snuggling his chest with abandon.

"Really~? Because the claws I feel digging into my side beg to differ." He answered after a beat of silence.

...

I tiredly lifted my head to look over the reaper and at his other side.  
Well, what do you know, there _is_ a cat on our bed. I let my head fall again, the weight of gravity too much to deal with at the moment.

...

Wait a minute!

"What is that cat doing here?!" I snapped, now completely awake. "Tofu?!" I called, knowing this was definitely the clown's work.

"What" The toy grumbled from the place it had been buried in, right between Taker and me in an attempt to put distance between Biscuit and himself. Tofu didn't like to be licked, apparently.

"Why is Captain Socks the Terrible laying here on our bed?!" I demanded, ignoring the way the mortician grumbled a bit, trying to fall asleep again. That or he was trying not to laugh at the cat's name, since every time I referred to that devil, I insisted on using its full name and titles.

"You said to make sure the pets didn't get into trouble, and that's what I did." The toy stated with his blank face.

"The cat was supposed to stay at the shop! This is a mission, not a family trip!" I protested, trying to hide the pout. "And... you didn't bring Hercules, did you?" I asked next, worried about the way he had said 'pets'. The toy blinked a bit, before looking straight at me, saying nothing.

...

The clown then proceeded to snap a curt "no" afterwards, obviously lying.

...

After a few seconds in which the toy just stared intently at me, he sighed exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. "Okay, well maybe I did. What do you want me to do? Send them back? Okay done." Immediately the cat and Biscuit both disappeared into thin air, and probably Hercules too, wherever the toy left him. Poor donkey... he was such a sweet thing. So calm and nice... they don't deserve to deal with half of the shenanigans his owner gets him into.

"What was the point of bringing Biscuit with us if you are just going to bring them back?!" I asked, exhausted already from the utter nonsense I had to deal with.

"Geez, Okay. Here, have your pets back." The clown snapped, immediately making appear a very confused Biscuit and a cat that seemed like it couldn't care less about where it was as long as it was comfortable. And right now they were on top of Undertaker's stomach, so I knew from experience they were _quite_ comfortable. It wasn't exactly warm, as the reaper was usually as cold as death, and he wasn't as squishy as a pillow, but there was some inherent comfort the mortician gave off, like an old pillow you have had since you can remember, a bit stiff, not very pliable, but comfortable all the same.

"I want to get this cat off of me." The mortician stated from his place under the cat. "I don't think I can move..." he mumbled with a frown, not quite daring to disturb the cat. Yet. It was a matter of time before the mortician decided he had played pillow for long enough.

"Taker, don't. I'm pretty sure disturbing a cat while it sleeps on you is considered a sin of some sort." I pointed out, not really in the mood to have my pillow move from under me. If he decided to kick the cat out, I would follow shortly after.

Looking at that furry menace better, Captain Socks wasn't that bad... it was sort of... cute.

The cat glared at me, as if berating me for calling them 'cute'. They probably prefer the term 'glorious'. I don't know what was I thinking, the thing came from the deepest pits of hell, there's no way they can be cute.

"I don't care. _I judge_ people, not the other way around. I will repent for my sins once we don't have a mission to complete." The reaper whined, still not moving at all. The cat yawned. Aw... Dalia, no. It's not cute, it's terrifying, not cute. Look at those teeth! It makes its enemies suffer before devouring them! Little murder machine.

"You know" I turned to the clown who was muttering profanities under his breath. "I didn't ask you to bring them back..." I pointed out to which I only received a withering glare. "When I asked you to look over them I was actually asking you to keep them out of trouble... wherever that is." I mumbled as I decided to go back to lay next to the reaper, who had fallen for the kitty's charms and was unable to move. Not that I blamed him, the sleepy kitty was surprisingly... soft. Not that I _touched_ it, of course. The cat _looked_ soft. I wouldn't know.

"You're testing my patience, and the day barely started." The toy growled.

Yeah, well... today is definitely going to be quite a difficult day, it was only fitting it started with a troubling morning.

* * *

"I don't like these panties..." I mumbled, uncomfortable at the clothes I was wearing under my dress.

"Out of all the things you could find uncomfortable in this situation you decide to complain about your undergarments~?" The mortician's incredulous voice rang next to me, as he slowly guided me away from the hustle and bustle of the meeting.

It seemed more of a party than a meeting, but who was I to complain?  
"They are too soft... too loose. I feel like they are about to fall off any time... what do I do if they fall?!" I whispered frantically trying to adjust the 'panties' through the cloth of the dress without much success. They were more like pants, in my opinion, but I didn't have another word to call them... at least not that I remember.

"They are called bloomers, love. And last time I heard, they were all the rage~" he snickered to my ear, barely resisting the urge to laugh loudly for the whole room to hear. That would definitely blow our cover.

I remember the bloomers! I had to give a pair back to Miss Bloomers... which is where she got her name from. I didn't know those were also bloomers... they were... different.

More uncomfortable. Not that I had tried Miss Bloomer's bloomers, of course.

"I'm just more used to my normal panties... they fit more... nicely, you know?" I insisted, warily looking around for anyone trying to overhear our conversation.

"No, I don't. Don't mind me, though~ I do love hearing you talk about your undergarments~" my companion smirked, apparently finding all of this hilarious.

"It's almost as if I wasn't wearing anything... just a very high belt of sorts... It goes too high, I can almost feel my breasts brushing with them, if it wasn't for the corset preventing me from moving freely." I kept complaining, shyly looking downwards when the mortician and a complete stranger interchanged some kind of greeting without words.

The man kept walking away, stopping here and there to exchange a few words, having forgotten us already from the looks of it.

"Oh~? Are you sure you are wearing them, then~? They might have fallen somewhere~" The mortician giggled, making me turn to look at him. "Do you need my help checking ~? Hi hi hi~" he smiled wide at my confused look.

How is he planning to check? I have my dress and corset in the way, and I can't lift the skirt without everyone _seeing_.

A sudden slap made me turn back to look at the reaper, who now sported a nice red red mark on the middle of his forehead.  
"If you try to lift her skirt again, I will _end_ you." A voice rang to my left, making me turn to find Tofu there angry scowl plastered on his brightly colored face. Biscuit, sweet innocent Biscuit had the face of someone who didn't kow how to react, and instead decided that being close to the bickering pair right now was dangerous and took refuge behind me.

The mortician had now a disgruntled face as he addressed the clown. "Weren't you supposed to be babysitting? We have it handled here, you can go back." The mortician spat, all but shooing the clown away.

"As if I would leave you two alone so you can screw things up! Between her being an idiot and you being a total crazy asshole I would have to be _nuts_ to leave you two to your own devices." The clown spat, completely ignoring the dog's presence.

Who was the idiot? I couldn't see anyone else nearby the clown could be referring to... who was the 'she' Tofu was talking about...? Maybe Biscuit?... Ooh.

Oh!

Well, that was rude.  
"Hey!" I pouted, my offended tone going completely ignored by my two companions. Poor Biscuit! They shouldn't insult the poor dog, they are behaving so well! better than them at least!

"Ho~? Well, I wasn't aware that you thought of me as that~" The mortician said with a deceptively light tone. "Isn't that a bit hypocritical of you, though~? Considering~..." the reaper started, smiling widely at the clown as Tofu's paper white skin gained a red tint that was produced more by his anger than by any type of embarrassment.

"I. Will. End. You." Tofu whispered aggressively. And here I thought they were starting to get along...  
They hadn't fought this morning at all... maybe because they were sort-of ignoring each other.

The sudden animosity all but evaporated, just like the toy did, when someone decided to approach us with a glass of something. Probably alcoholic.

"Oh~? How civilized~! Real champagne~" The mortician all but cooed, apparently enamored with the contents of the glass he had been offered.  
I reluctantly accepted the glass I was also offered, looking at it a bit uncomfortable with the sudden glare I received from the reaper.

I wasn't supposed to accept it? Did I do something wrong? Was it not socially acceptable to accept a glass when offered?  
It was only after the man with the glasses of... champagne left that the mortician finally acted.  
By stealing my glass.

"H-Hey..." I stammered, not really offended, but still surprised he hadn't let me even take a sip of the liquid.

"No alcohol for you, little Lia~ maybe when you're older." The mortician teased, drinking my glass in one go as he slowly took his time with his.

Tsk. It's not like I wanted it, anyways.

I spent my time looking around a bit more, when suddenly the mortician got up, making me hurriedly do the same as he slowly walked with some mysterious destination in mind.

"Where are we going?" I whispered to the mortician as he kept walking further and further away from the party, Biscuit sniffing at the food we were leaving behind with a sad whimper before following suit.

"To the meeting, of course~" The reaper laughed. "You didn't think this was the actual meeting, did you~? He he~ you did. How cute~" he cooed, all but brushing my cheek like I was some cute baby he was making funny faces at.

As we passed through a set of doors, a man who looked like a butler offered a hat in our direction, and the mortician dropped two small objects that, to me, looked a lot like bottle caps into the hat without even glancing at the man. The man gave Biscuit the stink eye but let the hound pass without trouble.

"In my humble opinion~" he started once we were out of earshot. "While the idea of a meeting inside a party is all nice and clever, the token idea to identify members is very flawed. After all, people can lose or even get their token stolen, don't you think so, dear~?" The mortician asked me with a very amused smile that told me exactly where he got those things from.

Sneaky bastard.

"What would you suggest, then?" A voice called out behind us, and I tightened my grip on the reaper's arm.

Right behind us stood a very familiar looking man with a scowl clear on his otherwise handsome face, his dark hair shadowing his eyes in a manner that made him look even angrier than he probably was.

"Well, a secret code, of course. Some kind of secret greeting to discern members from intruders." The mortician didn't miss a beat, smiling at the man as he slowly turned around, subtly putting himself between the man and myself.

It regrettably took me a little bit longer to realize why the man had looked so familiar, and why Undertaker had cautiously decided to stand in front of me.

The man was none other than Zachary himself.

Wait. Zachary?  
Zach? Zapher? Japhar? Gasphar?  
Damnit. I forgot again.

The man seemed to think carefully before nodding a bit, as if agreeing with the reaper's suggestion. "Although that still leaves the possibility of someone sharing the secret code, allowing someone to enter anyways." The man, -Zach? Seriously, what was his name?!- pointed out the obvious flaw in the method the reaper suggested, blinking a bit before seemingly realizing something.

I don't know why exactly he hasn't attacked us yet, but I rather doubt it is because he has grown a brain in the time we haven't seen each other. Maybe he finally took those yoga classes? Whatever it is, I am grateful.

"I don't remember your names, sorry. You do seem quite familiar, but I can't quite place you, I'm afraid." He stated, making both me and Undertaker go still as statues.

He... he didn't...?

Undertaker reacted way faster than I did, quickly following along. "My name is Ricardo and this is my wife Cecilia. It is quite surprising you don't remember us, but I guess it was quite a long time ago." He smiled, a little less maliciously than before, if only because he was having a hard time believing the man wouldn't remember us. That or he was on the verge of having a mental breakdown as his plans crumbled to dust and wanted to put it off. With Taker one never knows.  
In any case, his face showed the obvious Taker-signs of aggravation and annoyance, signs I had learned to discern thanks to Tofu's... help. By annoying him. Frequently.  
Taker is a saint and no one can convince me otherwise.

I almost growled at the names offered. Those were stupid names, I don't like them. I like Ricardo more than Cecilia, actually. Maybe because of the [k] sound that reminded me of Undertaker. I liked the fake name, but not when the name was applied to Taker.

Now that I thought about it, a lot of my important people had names with that [k] sound: Taker, Kala, Kim, Kaito... even Hercules, Cat and Biscuit have that sound!

And out of all of them, I only got to name one of them, my dog. I mean... Kala, not Biscuit. I didn't name Biscuit.

Let's not even start mentioning Captain Socks, because while I _did_ sort of name them, I will refuse to admit that thing has wiggled into my good graces until the day it finally decides to kill me.  
And it will. I see it in its eyes.

I shuddered under the skeptical glance of the old reaper.

Why didn't I name Tofu something better? Something with that sound? There _was_ something appealing to the sound. Or maybe I'm just distracting myself because forgetting people's faces it's supposed to be my job, not Zephaniah's, or whatever his name is.  
Stephanie? Wait. No, no way. This man is a man. I would remember if he had a girl's name, right?

Undertaker looked equally put off at the lack of recognition -especially considering how angry (Stephanie?) had been when we met last- but kept himself in check better than I, who couldn't help but gape at him, wondering if this man was some kind of long lost twin brother of Stephanie's or something.

"Ah! I see, Mr. and Mrs. Andrei I presume? It is a pleasure." He gave a respectful nod, making me even more wary of the man. Really, who is this guy and where did all the foaming and red faces go?

He really...? Was this man even the same guy, or did he just hate our guts so much that he only became a rabid dog when he realized we were actively trying to put a wrench on his plans... whatever those plans were.

Actually, that was an excellent train of thought. Why did this man even bother pursuing Tofu? It seemed... strange.

Of course there was the obvious thirst for the power the clown could offer, but because of that very reason, it seemed highly unlikely they could just _make_ Tofu do something he didn't want to.  
Maybe he hadn't actually thought that far ahead, or maybe I was just dumb and had missed some kind of vital information that would allow them to force Tofu into doing their bidding.  
Both were regretfully likely. The clown wouldn't have been as scared as he was, if they had no way to force him into compliance.

Urgh. All this hard thinking is making my head dizzy. I think I may have overworked that single brain cell on shift this week. I will have to go by without thinking for the rest of the week until the next cell came for its shift.

The mortician exchanged a few words more with the man, giving me _looks_ here and there.  
I just blinked confusedly. What did he want from me? There is obviously something I was forgetting, if the mortician's expression was anything to go by.

...

No. No idea. I guess I _did_ overwork that brain cell of mine. I have no idea what does Undertaker want from me.

The reaper rolled his eyes, but he finally let Stephanie go down the hallway we were standing in the middle of, making Biscuit finally stop hiding behind me and sniff suspiciously at the retreating man.  
Once he was far enough away the reaper gave me a flat look.  
"You didn't even _think_ of putting the man inside the dungeon while we were alone with him, did you." It wasn't even a question, just a mere statement that made me go still for a second.

Oh. That... _was_ the reason we were here at all, wasn't it?

I whimpered in distress as our target got farther and farther away, the mortician staring stone-faced at me as Biscuit echoed my whimper with their own.

"S-Sorry" I squeaked, feeling the waterworks about to burst. "I'm s-so sorry..." I squeaked, not even mustering the courage to look up at the reaper.

He didn't say anything before picking me up by the scruff of my neck and shaking me once like I was a naughty cat climbing up the table. Out of instinct I turned into Chibi form, knowing that was exactly what he had wanted.

"It is alright love" He reassured with a deceptively kind smile. His kind smiles were the ones he smiled with his eyes, not with that aura that seemed to be about to start sprouting flowers from behind him.

Taker doesn't _do_ flowery backgrounds.

I'm in deep trouble.

"I will forgive your absent-mindedness because I love you, and you will forgive me for what I'm about to do because I'm handsome and can't get angry at me~" He stated with the confidence of someone who knows exactly what he's talking about, so I merely nodded tamely as we ran towards the black haired man that had been making our life impossible with neck-breaking speed.

Right as Stephanie heard us running behind him and started to turn around to see what was going on, Undertaker threw me.

Straight at the man's face.

While the expression on Stephanie's face was quite amusing in a 'what the hell is the meaning of this' kind of way, I couldn't exactly appreciate it fully as I cried rivers as I was forcefully propelled through the air like a cannon ball.

I only managed to make some chains to wrap around Stephanie's face, which forced the two of us to take a tumble to the ground for a good distance.

Once I got my bearings together, I looked at the dizzy man I had crashed into, who hadn't yet put himself together. Then I looked up at the mortician with an astonished blink and a true waterfall falling from my eyes.

Undertaker was a ways from me, a hand over his eyes like he was admiring his own work, an amused smile dancing on his mouth, and I wished something would fall on his head in return for the unexpected voyage.

Tofu fell on his head with an angry wail, hitting the mortician's silver head with abandon as the reaper laughed amusedly.

Once I decided Tofu would take care of properly punishing the reaper I looked down at the face my reduced body was sitting on. The man was still out of sorts, which was appreciated, as I didn't want to get into a fight.

I was aware of the very likely possibility of this visit ending up with a fight, that didn't mean that I wouldn't take the chance of avoiding it altogether.

So I obviously put the man inside my dungeon with a satisfied huff.

Hey! Look at this! I remembered! We got Stephanie and we didn't even need to fight!

I turned a happy smile to the reaper as he picked me up again like I was a cat. He's... not going to throw me again, is he?

A suspicious eyeballing later rewarded me with an enthusiastic kiss on my forehead, to which I happily blushed as I tried to get as much shows of appreciation as I could.

"Are we going to forget this idiot _threw_ you like a ball?!" Tofu angrily huffed, jumping away from the elated Biscuit who seemed to decide that Taker's enthusiasm meant that everything was alright with the world now and they didn't need to glare suspiciously at everything that moved, attaching themselves to either me or Taker in a silent protection mode.

I kissed the clown's head to which he made an affronted abortive movement, but ended up falling to the floor as the mortician sidestepped away from the toy, deciding he didn't like sharing.

The sound of feet made everyone's eyes glance towards the any armed men coming in our direction, to which the reaper tilted his head in wonder. I swear I heard him mutter something that sounded an awful lot like 'useless bunch of cumbergrounds'. Whatever that means.

Taker sometimes seems to speak a completely different language, but I guess that it could be exactly that. He's either using terms from another language or he's using very, very old slang.

Maybe even not that old, compared to this time, but it's ancient to me. Sometimes it's really difficult to understand what people are trying to say, but luckily I have Tofu translating everything into something I can understand or even Taker himself explaining the meaning of some word or slang.

Which now that I think about it explains why I could understand French. Sort of.  
Tofu was lazy and didn't usually bother translating Old English into something understandable unless he had a reason to, so I was usually left in the dark. Like right now. I have no freaking idea what the mortician just said.

And I have no idea if these people will attack us for that matter. Tofu seemed to refuse to act as a normal toy, so that should probably give a hint.

I curled protectively around the toy as Biscuit sniffed suspiciously at the ridiculously armed men.  
They were... trying to pass off as samurai of sorts or something, but only managed to appear as historically inaccurate aberrations, their weighty armor making them sluggish and the weapons that varied from a ridiculously ornamented spear to an actual honest-to-god katana.

I blinked at them, too confused to react in any way to their slow but sure approach.

"Taker... should we... I don't know... run? Do something?" I wondered aloud, unsure about what were the expectations when faced against what seemed to be a cosplaying band of samurais.

"I... have to admit this is a first, too." He stated, slowly scooping everyone in his arms and taking a measured step back, staring straight at the strangely dressed people.

The strange men stared for a few seconds before the collectively took a step forward. Very freaky if you ask me.

Taker took another step backwards. The mass of people took another forward.

The reaper apparently decided to take a step to the side just to see if they would imitate him, and nearly dropped laughing when they did copy him... and the leftmost of the samurai people ended up swiftly crashing against the wall.

I stared at everything around us for a few seconds, before deciding that getting away was probably our best bet after all. These people were obviously lacking in some mental department. Not even _I_ would have fallen for that one.  
Besides, we already got Stephanie, no reason to linger, right?

"Let's just... let's not talk about this. Ever." Taker was apparently of the same mind, even if he had a enormous smile threatening to break his face in two.

"Yeah... let's..." I mumbled, astonished at the mass of strange people acting... strange.

"Lia~ catch me~!" Undertaker, instead of walking -or running, in fact I was all for running like a bat out of hell- like a normal person, decided that he had already contributed his part and decided to leave the rest to me.  
Including carrying him.

"Hey! I'm pretty sure you can walk on your own! You're heavy." I complained, slowly walking away from the samurai people who were following us like lost ducklings.  
It wasn't that Taker was that heavy, actually he was surprisingly light, considering how tall he was, the only problem was exactly that. He was tall. I was small. It was... uncomfortable.

"What are you talking about~! I'm light as a feather~! Don't call me fat~!" He giggled as he decided to turn around to watch what the samurai people were doing, apparently deciding to just lay back and watch rather than help.

A glance backwards proved they were still following us... and tripping over each other.

Really... who are these people? Am I supposed to be worried?

The answer was probably 'yes' as we quickly found ourselves in front of another... squad of... freaks.  
I'm not sure why they are following us, and I'm not sure if what their intentions are and what will they do if they catch up to us, but I really have a bad feeling in my gut telling me to just stay very far away.

Better to be safe than sorry.

So when I found myself surrounded by them, with a useless mortician on my back and a growling Biscuit attached to my side, looking a second away from starting to spit fire, I decided that I wasn't going to tempt fate.

I turned towards a window and kicked it open, about to jump out of it. It made a terrible sound as the glass shattered under the impact, and I swiftly regretted not measuring the strength I was using before kicking it open.

Exactly when I put a foot on the windowsill, about to jump out of it without even looking how high we were, Biscuit decided the strange people had crossed some invisible line and were now too close for comfort, and decided to turn into a giant dog to burn the people to crisp.

Let me repeat that.

Biscuit turned into a _giant_ dog. While we were in a (relatively) narrow hallway.  
Needless to say that the few people that weren't automatically crushed to death when the kid decided to turn into a dog were quickly incinerated. I was a bit busy screaming my lungs out as the demon hound's butt pushed me out of the window I had been about to jump from, only managing to save myself by clinging to Biscuit's tail.

"Hihihi~ how fun~! Let's do that again~!" The reaper all but giggled delightedly, still clinging to me as I grabbed onto Biscuit's tail for dear life.

As the only part of Biscuit I could see was its tail and the part of the butt sticking out of the building we had been in a few seconds ago, I couldn't see what exactly happened to excite Biscuit but I did notice the second Biscuit started wagging their tail. With Taker and me still attached to it.

I wailed in distress and we were swung from side to side, making me feel sick to my stomach. It was like being in one of those roller coasters... not that I have ever been in one, but considering the situation I'm pretty sure the feeling is comparable. Or even worse. I'm pretty sure roller coasters are supposed to have some sort of safety measure, this... Yeah. Doubt it.

So I screamed like a banshee, Taker almost rivaling my terrified wail with his delighted laughter. At least he was having fun.

Biscuit decided to stick its muzzle out to see what was making me scream like that, which absolutely obliterated half of the remaining wall in this side of the mansion.

"Biscuit, go home! To bed!" I screeched, wanting nothing more than curling into bed with the mortician and maybe drink some relaxing tea. My nerves... I can feel them frying and dying.

At least Biscuit seemed to understand what was asked of them, as they jumped out of the mansion and started running in some random direction, with me and Taker still clinging to their tail.

You know, it's not like I want to ride Biscuit like they were a horse... even if I would be lying if I said I never daydreamed about it, but right now I would much rather prefer to be sitting on Biscuit's back, rather than cinging to their tail ike a monkey.

We ran for a good hour, at some point of which I just turned my head backwards and vomited into the air, barely missing the reaper.

After that incident, Undertaker decided to finally rescue me and landed us on Biscuit's back with a jump.

I couldn't help but hug the dog's neck like a lifeline. My stomach... motion sickness... I'm dying... Blergh...

"You know, this wasn't exactly the escape plan I had in mind, but I have to admit that I'm not dissatisfied at all with this turn of events~" The mortician giggled, all but laughing at my miserable face. "In my humble opinion, though, you should probably stop strangling the dog if you don't want us to crash~" He pointed out with a deceptively light voice, making me look at Biscuit who was panting furiously in an attempt to get some needed air in.

I guiltily let them go.  
It wasn't that I was cutting all of their air supply, but I was definitely hugging them a bit too strongly.  
"I-I'm s-s... sooorry B-Biscuuiiitt..." I drawled, my tongue feeling like lead after barfing my innards out.  
I really was sorry, but Biscuit either didn't forgive me or they hadn't even noticed anything wrong with my strangling. I don't know which worries me the most.

"So~ we got Zephyr. Yay. No more annoying menaces~" he cheered with a strange tone of voice. I don't know why but he almost sounded disappointed. "Are you sure I cannot have a talk in private with him~?" He asked like he hadn't asked that at least a million times before.

"I'm certain." I glared at the mortician, quickly returning to my original position as I found that looking backwards made me sicker. Taker wouldn't appreciate another barfing incident.

"Why~?" He whined, putting his hands on his hips with an angry pout as his hair danced in the wind thanks to Biscuit's speed.

"Because you're not going to just talk to him. Tofu told me, you can't trick me." I glared making the mortician pout harder as he mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'traitor'.

"By the way..." I looked around worriedly. "Are you sure Biscuit knows how to get home? I mean... I'm sure they understand what I asked them..." It was the same thing I told them every night before getting ready to sleep, and so far they had seemed to understand. "But I'm not sure if Biscuit knows how to get there... I mean... we're a sea away from England..." as I said that, the port we had arrived in came into view, making me gasp and pat Biscuit's neck in pride.

"So smart! Biscuit is such a good dog, aren't you? Yes you are! Now we only need a boat or something..." I turned to the reaper in askance. He was the expert in... Well, everything.

"Uh... little Lia?" The mortician asked uncertainly, leaving aside his creepy drawl for once.

"Uh?" I turned to the reaper in confusion. Taker rarely if ever used that tone of voice which meant that something was about to go horribly wrong.

"Biscuit is not slowing down." The mortician stated with all the seriousness the situation deserved, making me go still as I looked ahead, seeing the demon hound running staring to the port's murky waters with bullheaded determination.

"Biscuit?" I asked, worried out of my mind. Surely they weren't about to...?

"Uh... goodbye~" Undertaker, the absolute ass, jumped out and left me behind, deciding to just stared at us in fascination now that he wasn't in immediate danger of getting a bath.

"Biscuit, I hope you're not thinking of swimming across... right?" Of course, the dog didn't answer, just kept running. "Biscuit? Biscuit! No! Stop Biscuit! Biscuiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" I wailed in dismay, hanging on tightly to the demon hound preparing to jump.

"Hi hi hi~! Well that is one funny face you are making~!"

"Biscuiiiit!"

Splash!


	37. Chapter 36

**Thanks to everyone for your patience and support! These weeks have been hectic, but my father is now doing fine. Thank you for your concern. You all are the best.  
I will be busier than normal until my father finishes reahabilitation but I will keep posting chapters unless something unexpected happens, so nothing to worry about. **

**Because of all that's happened I haven't had as much time as I like to check over the chapter so if you find some misspelling I would appreciate if you tell me so I can fix it. Thank you.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

It was only when we got back to London and safe inside our shop that I finally deigned to visit our prisoner.

Neither Tofu nor Taker liked the idea, as they agreed for once in their lifetimes that forgetting everything about the man trapped inside my Dungeon was the best course of action, but I was really curious about the train of thought that had occurred to me while we were undercover, and the only one able to answer those questions was none other than Stephanie himself.

Why would he be after Tofu if he didn't have a means to make him obey? What did he want Tofu for, anyways? What was the point of throwing a meeting disguised as a party if the host could be kidnapped without anybody actually noticing? Who were those strange people that had acted so... weirdly?

Sorry, my fault. That didn't happen. Never. Both Taker and I agreed to wipe that moment from our minds at all.

The validity of those inquiries was questionable in itself as, with Stephanie trapped, any plans he could have had would be considered irrevocably destroyed. Unless there was some other bad guy playing Stephanie's strings like it happened in so many movies, that is.

Seeing as this whole situation seemed to be taken out of some third rate shoujo manga as a pathetic excuse to give the protagonist some long term goal, she rather doubted it could be _that_ easy. I was actually expecting a 'but' to be thrown my way once I got some answers, because of course my simple, peaceful life always seemed to have its days numbered.

In fact, I am pretty sure I was cheating in some way, as I rather doubted it would have been that easy without the reaper's help. I owe him a big deal, don't I?

Well, I should give him a big hug and a kiss to make up for my grumpy behavior on our way back. And then I would cook him something nice. Maybe even share some cookies.

I would have to think of something more to repay the mortician's help when he actually hadn't needed to get involved in this mess, but that would have to wait until after the... interrogation.

I... wasn't sure how I should act to pry information out of someone not willing to share it, but I figured that if I had one advantage it was the advantage of having a lot of time to spare.

I would convince him. Somehow. I had a lot of time to find a way to change his mind.

Maybe if I gave him a cookie and was nice he would be more inclined to behave? I could at least try.

So when I entered my very special dungeon with a cookie in hand and a frowning reaper by my side, needless to say I hadn't expected to be immediately attacked by a furious Stephanie. In hindsight, though, it was pretty obvious he wouldn't have just waited for me drinking tea and playing chess. Even if I did give him the means to. The chess table was throw to the side along with a few more furniture, but the tea kettle was perfectly untouched, so he could still drink tea... if he hadn't destroyed the teacups too.

It took me half a second to get my bearings together and dodge, Taker following my lead after I was thankfully out of direct harm's way.

As I avoided another furious lunge, I scrambled to figure out a way for the black haired man to stop attacking, only coming to the conclusion that he was attacking us because he was angry, because we destroyed his plans -which is actually a legit reason to be angry at someone- so if I somehow make his anger go away, he would maybe become a nice, agreeable person. Maybe.

Of course there's a voice that sounds a suspicious lot like Undertaker telling me that it was a stupid idea and would only come to bite us in the ass later, but I dutifully ignored it.

The reaper sent me a suspicious look as if he sensed me throwing away my common sense.

So I made him attend yoga classes. This time for good. It's not like he could refuse anyways, not while he was in my dungeon.

It was one of the good things of being in this dimension, I could do whatever I wanted.

Of course, that means that I could have just made his anger go away, but I figured it wouldn't really help if he got himself angry again. Instead, I just made him learn to control his anger, maybe even channeling it into something useful. Hopefully something not... murder-y kind of useful.

So after a second of staring, dodging and failed negotiation attempts, I left him to his new anger management classes, yoga exercises and a gardening course I actually knew nothing of but the man had had a vague interest in somewhere deep inside.

Hey, it wouldn't be a bad thing to learn to take care of plants myself. It would even give us something to bond over, not to mention I actually liked to take care of things that couldn't actually bite me as I fed them.

...

I was actually talking about Captain Socks, not Biscuit. Although Biscuit did give me a few scares, the cat seemed to make it her life's mission to cause as much suffering as a cat possibly could.

I would just have to deal with it.

* * *

"Taker..." I mumbled, looking up at the napping mortician, who seemed to have no care in the world.

"Yes, dear~?" He answered back, not looking up at me from the place he was laid on. Not that I could blame him, I wouldn't get up either, if I had a cat napping on my face.

Even if that cat was the demon incarnate.

Captain Socks seemed to love falling asleep on the mortician, much to his chagrin. I was only happy I wasn't the chosen napping pillow of the day.

I had to admit that, together, the cat and the reaper made for a very cute sight.

I looked at Hercules, the donkey having been eyeing the still growing plants I was tending to.

A few days ago they had finally sprouted, small buds in constant danger of being eaten by a hungry Hercules. The mortician, far from helping to reign in the animal, decided that it was my karmic punishment for daring to make a garden in his backyard, and rested lazily as he eyed me futilely try to stop Hercules as the donkey lazily walked to my precious plants to snack on them.

That's not fair! Stephanie doesn't have that problem when he gardens inside my dungeon. Not that he would tell me, as the second I enter he drops everything to try to tackle me. He's not very interested in idle conversation.

It's okay. I can wait. I'm anything if not patient.

"Lia..." the mortician drawled from his place underneath the cat's butt.

"Yes?" I blinked when the mortician just made a motion for me to get closer, which I did reluctantly. I couldn't see his face, but I have the feeling he's smirking mischievously, which doesn't mean anything good for me.

"How's... What was his name again~? The guy you have in your dungeon~" he asked with a slow drawl, making me blink in confusion. Didn't he already know his name? He had been the only one to get it right, why was he asking me?

"Stephanie...?" I mumbled, flinching when the mortician immediately descended into a fit of giggles, making me frown at him.

He's laughing at me, isn't he?

"Hi hi hi hi~! It never gets old, really how did you even come up with that one? He he he~ Ah... You're the best..." he drawled, relaxing his body in a way that made him look almost deflated. The can looked down at the face it was sitting on, before deciding to jump out and away from the crazy reaper.

I pouted at the newly revealed grin plastered on the reaper's face, haughtily looking away at the cat who was retreating inside the shop with a dignified grace.

Biscuit ran inside after the cat, barking like mad and jumping over the startled cat.

A second after the mortician ran inside to join the ruckus, leaving me standing there trying to keep Hercules away from my plants. After a few seconds of barking and laughter, I heard the door being opened and the sound of a girl's scream come from inside, being startled probably because of Taker.

I slowly followed after them, only making it to the kitchen before I heard a very... strange statement.

"You're a kitty!" A man's voice exclaimed in a disgustingly sweet baby tone from the shop entrance, making me wonder who was Captain Socks torturing now. After all, I had thought I heard a girl's scream, but I guess that our new client had brought someone along, that or...

...

Although that doesn't explain what the hell had happened to make someone say... that.

Of course I had noticed that Captain Socks the Terrible's inherent cuteness made people's intelligence immediately lower when in their presence, but the cat usually didn't bother acknowledging our clients unless they were carrying something of interest. And... well, there were limits to everything.

Peeking inside showed that a certain young Phantomhive had decided to grace us with his presence, a spooked grimace on his face as he flattened himself against the door as if considering running for it, while a certain Sebastian the bad dog TM was making goo goo eyes at the cat, who was busy eating whatever the dog-butler had been carrying before the cat had decided that it now belonged to her.

"Keep that cat away from me! I'm allergic to cats." A screech made me look back to the youngest in the room and away from the ridiculous butler. "Sebastian! Don't bring him any closer to me!" The Phantomhive fretted, already sneezing when the bad dog butler decided to show his finding to his master.

"It's a her." I felt the need to point out when the cat sent the kid a death glare that could curl milk, making the bad dog positively _squeal_. The little Phantomhive didn't look very happy with the explanation, and just scurried away from both evil cat and bad butler dog. I couldn't blame him, the cat's glare was kind of scary.

"It's a lady! Such a cute lady, in fact. Look at these noble paws, so fluffy and cute. Magnificent." The butler decided to start playing with Captain Socks the Terrible's paws, making the cat glare at the butler like he should just bow and crawl before her might, maybe even saying something like 'I'm not a plushie for you to play with, peasant! Now crawl and beg for forgiveness!'.

Or something like that.

I either had nailed it, when it came to the cat's expressions or this Sebastian guy had thought exactly the same, because te next thing he did was kneel in front of the cat, apologizing for his rudeness in front of such a noble lady.

...

I looked at Undertaker for some kind of explanation, but I was only met by a perfect poker face, or at least what was a poker face for Taker, which meant that it seemed that someone had drawn a smile and literally glued it to his face, making it look kind of... strained. He either found this funny but didn't like the dog-butler, or he was completely weirded out by the dog's actions. The first option was the most likely, considering there were little things that could weird out the weirdest person I know.

Well, I guess that not all dogs and cats have to get along like... dogs and cats.

"So... how can we help?" I asked the little Phantomhive after a beat, not bearing to look further at the strange pair. There was something inherently _wrong_ with that scene.

"Uh... I... Yes... I..." The little Phantomhive stuttered for a second before deciding to ignore the butler altogether, turning to grace Undertaker with his attention. Awww... I had been the one to ask, not Taker. Why is little Phantomhive ignoring me? Maybe he didn't like me hugging him last time.

As I tried to hide the pout and dejected aura, I couldn't help but sneak suspicious glances here and there, making sure the cat wasn't going to do anything to Phantomhive's dog. Or the other way around.

Knowing Captain Socks as I do... that dog isn't leaving this place without some form of... gift of appreciation.

Like a scratch. Or a bite. Although Captain Socks doesn't usually gift bites to new people, that's a special privilege that comes with living with her.

It was strange.

Biscuit doesn't really react badly to the cat, but they did at least give the cat its much needed space, not like they acted around us at all. This Sebastian dog's behavior was more like... the way Biscuit acted around me. Which is strange.

Phantomhive isn't neglecting his dog, is he?

I mean... not that I'm doubting Phantomhive's ability to take care of his dog, but maybe Sebastian had been taken care of by his parents before the fire, and after their death maybe the dog was... a bit confused on how to behave.

It's none of my business but... even if I don't like the bad dog, I should probably make sure the kid knows how to take care of a demon hound. Not that I'm an expert, of course. I just have a bit more of experience. Maybe I could give him some pointers?

But... what if he doesn't realize this human looking Sebastian was actually a dog? That would explain the... not-neglecting situation. It could happen, I'm pretty sure there are very dense people running around.

Should I help him subtly? But I don't know how to do that. I'm not very subtle myself.

Should I ask Taker? He usually knows how to slip things past people's notice.

I looked at the mortician, who was trying to get the earl to pay up by being creepy.

Maybe later.

I glanced at the dog and cat duo, and then at Biscuit who was all but growling at them in a corner, ears flat against his head making them invisible to the casual eye.

Then I looked at the butler again, no dog ears in sight.

How did he hide his dog ears? I'm pretty sure Biscuit can do that too, but they don't like to do it very often, forcing me to hide their head. At least the tail was easier to hide when Biscuit didn't feel like being cooperative.

I inched towards the fawning dog, making the cat glance at me in what I interpreted as: 'get this lowly trash out of my sight, servant! Before I scratch both of your faces for the insolence!' Needless to say that I inched back to the earl in an attempt to get him to make his dog release the cat.

"Ahem... earl..." I mumbled around the reaper, who was making pouty faces at the kid. Well, pouty faces... they were probably disturbing pouty faces of the earl is making that terrified expression, but I can't really find anything wrong with that. Maybe I have just... grown used to it? I wouldn't know, I find it cute.

The earl obviously didn't.

"Earl... can you make your dog leave the cat alone? I'm pretty sure the cat is not happy..." I mumbled, looking worriedly at the quickly vexed cat, whipping her tail from side to side.

A snort made me turn to the reaper, who had a hand over his hand in an attempt to avoid my notice, the earl quickly following suit with the action.

"Dog?" An incredulous whispered I couldn't trace the origins of, before everyone's attention was stolen by an enraged meow.

Four heads (yes, even Biscuit's) turned to the butler, who was sporting a scratch on his cheek, his expression a mix of apologetic silence and aggravated vexation, making me blink at him.

"I..." the bad dog quickly composed himself, smiling widely even if his smile was clearly fake. "am _not_ a dog." He clarified, making me realize he probably heard me.

Not that I had been trying to be subtle. I really don't know how to do that beyond sneaking silently away.

"I see..." I stated, for his sake more than anything else. I wasn't about to fall for that obvious lie, but I would play along if he didn't want his master to know.

"I really am not." He insisted, probably to make sure I wouldn't out him again. He probably didn't appreciate I had threatened his work.

"Of course" I agreed, agreeing to not reveal him further. I had thought of the possibility that the little Phantomhive didn't know, but I had never thought that the dog would be purposefully trying to keep that knowledge from him.

I really like the earl better than the dog, though... so maybe I should reveal him anyways? Although maybe Sebastian is scared that the earl will kick him out if he thinks he's a demon hound so maybe it would be nicer if I didn't...

Ugh... it's not really my problem, is it? If Taker hasn't said anything to the earl then I shouldn't either.

The butler far from appreciating my attempts seemed to grow more and more aggravated by the second, an eye twitching out of control. The corners of Taker's smile turned a tad more real in response.

I really don't get why the bad dog butler so angry at me, it's not like I had insulted him or anything, right? I was trying to help him out!

The dog didn't seem to think of it that way, as he glared daggers at my head for the rest of their stay. At least both Taker and Phantomhive found it funny.

Somehow.

* * *

I had been sitting outside peacefully, watering my small garden -or what had survived if my garden after Hercules decided to help himself- when I heard it.

It was a terrified scream, coming from inside the shop, making me jump in fright before frowning in confusion.

The only reason someone would be screaming was if one of our guests had decided that being dead wasn't really their thing and came back... which only happened once, and by the mortician's antics he seemed to have been perfectly aware of that guest's... non-dead condition.

So either he was terrifying a poor guest or client... or the mortician was the one to produce that scream.

No one ate his pot of marmalade, did they? It was the reaper's latest craze craving, and... well. It would justify the girly scream that came from the shop.

Taker didn't go out of his way to terrorize women like he did with Phantomhive... most of the time... with the exception of yours truly...

...

I hope he's not scaring some poor girl half to death.

I entered our home through the kitchen and made my way into the shop, finding upon entering the mortician comfortably seated on top of some guy. I noticed with vague confusion that the shop seemed to be closed, and Undertaker seemed to be eating a cookie with a self satisfied air around him.

I didn't ask. Nope. I don't want to know.

Instead I kept walking towards the reaper, snatched the cookie he was about to plop into his mouth and ate the cookie, staring at the presumed intruder with an expectant look.

"Hey~!" The reaper protested, trying to reach for the cookie I had already eaten, only to stop and cross his arms with a pout, which was immediately discarded when he noticed I wasn't looking at him. "Say hello to our little friend~! He's been soooo... kind as to come all this way here~! Shouldn't we reward him in some way~?" The mortician asked, his wider than normal smile and the fact that he was still seated on top of the man revealing this was no friend. "So~ kind, yes~... what could we give him as a thank you gift~? How about..." at this the white haired reaper nodded to a discarded object on the floor making my eyes trail to it. "I know what we could do~! Hi hi hi hi~! How about I point that thing at you and I gift you with the little present it contains~?" The mortician made a positively evil smirk, nodding again in the gun's direction.

It looked old, nothing like the guns I had seen in movies before, this seemed more taken out of a movie placed in some old... Ah, Yeah. I was in the past, I don't know how I forgot, considering the most luxurious thing in here is the flushing toilet. We don't even have a refrigerator. We have to eat everything we buy the same day we buy it.

Blinking at the newly realized threat -even if did look old fashioned, that doesn't mean that being shot by it will hurt any less- I watched the man under te reaper pale as he tried to squirm away without any success.

The reaper may not be fat, but he is tall as hell, and can pack a bit more weight than expected. I still was skeptical that the man really was as immobilized as he seemed to be, after all I carried the reaper on my back all the time to train... much to my chagrin and his amusement.

"E-even if I d-die... Boss will still kill you and yours..." The man managed to get through, proving to have a bit more of a spine than a first look had shown.

"Reaaaally~?" The reaper drawled, quite amused if his subtle head tilt to go along with the drawled out word was any indication, all but challenging the man to open his big mouth.

The man, far from seeing his intentions from a mile long, seemed to take it as some kind of insult, as if the mortician doubting his words was some kind of big offense to him. I... really don't get it.

I decided to leave the mortician to his interrogation as the man started running him mouth like a true chatterbox, spewing more and more threats, talking about a boss who would conquer the world or something like that.

I didn't actually hear anything about conquering the world, but that boss seemed like a villain of some sort, and all villains want to conquer the world at some point or another of their careers, so that was as good of an assumption as any.

I took the gun's handle carefully and walked out of there. Despite knowing Undertaker wouldn't actually resort to do something as extreme as shooting the man, I didn't actually trust any of them to put the thing to any good use.

Carefully leaving the object on the kitchen like it would try to bite me at any second, I sat and stared hard at it.

What do I do with this thing now? I don't even know how to handle one, what if I accidentally shoot someone?

An indiscernible amount of time later, Biscuit came back from their play time with Captain Socks and its crooked band of criminal cats, the leader of the aforementioned band lazily walking in behind the dog like she owned the house, jumping onto the table with a dignified huff and sniffing at the object I had been engrossed examining.

Seeing Captain Socks the Terrible sniffing at the current source of my worries, made me startle and snatch the cat away from the table and onto my lap, looking at the gun as if waiting for the gun to take offense somehow and shoot despite not being touched.

One never knows.

"Lia what are you doing?" The mortician asked me as he slowly walked beck into the shop, the intruder nowhere to be seen.

"Where's... that guy?" I asked, warily watching the mortician's movements and clothes to determine that he was completely unharmed.

"Oh, him~? It doesn't matter, love~! I was just making sure he would have a few friends to talk to as a gift for all that lovely information~... although I'm not very sure they will answer... he he he~" he cackled, smirk wide as he covered his mouth with a hand, bashfully waving his other hand in my direction like I had just complimented him or something. "What about you, my dearest~? What were you looking so intently at~?" He walked to stand at my side, seemingly staring at the gun in an exaggerated manner, finally turning around and stating blankly "it's a gun" as if I hadn't already known that after looking at it for a good while.

"I know" I answered, turning again to the weapon to glare it into submission. The gun stood valiantly my glare and seemed completely unaffected by it.

"Mhmm..." The mortician hummed, glancing between me and the gun back and forth with a blank expression.

Then he made a grab for the weapon.

"Nooo!" I threw myself at the reaper's arm with a wail, trying to prevent him from touching the gun. The mortician blinked in surprise but thankfully didn't flinch, and released the gun with a careful look sent my way. "Don't touch it! What if it shoots?" I asked, making the mortician's confused expression light up with amusement.

"Hehehe~ don't worry~ even if it does shoot -which it won't unless you mess with it- a mere gunshot is not going to kill me anytime~" He appeased, making me pout at him with a confused frown. "It just stings quite a bit~" he concluded, smiling like that should be all I needed to forget the incident and start prancing around in happiness.

I glared at the reaper in reprimand, making him pout again as he finally retracted his arm from the table and consequently the weapon, sitting next to me and getting comfortable as the cat decided the mortician's lap was more comfortable than mine.

He started at the gun just like I was doing, sneaking glances at me from time to time.

After what seemed like forever the mortician finally mentioned that Zephyr's Boss wasn't very happy with us and had decided to send their regards... or whatever that meant. I'm pretty sure the mortician's words are actually some sort of metaphor, but I can't actually decipher what for.

Sighing tiredly I debated going back to my plants, before realizing that whatever had survived Hercules' last attempt at eating my plants was probably dead by now. No way Hercules wouldn't take the obvious opportunity to fill his tummy. He's lazy and somewhat apathetic, not stupid.

I wailed internationally as Stephanie got a head start on the garden competition he probably didn't know we were on. No matter, I could compete his quantity with quality. Hopefully. At least Hercules seemed to like my plants... if that counts...

Yeah it does! Score for me! Take that Stephanie!

Looking back at the mortician with far more pride than a destroyed garden deserved, I came face to face with a horrible sight: Undertaker going to pick up the gun.

I launched myself at his back, which he didn't bother dodging. "Taker don't touch that!" I mumbled from the place on his back as I tried to pin him down with absolute zero success.

"Hey!" The reaper whined, not releasing the gun from his hold. "But I was going to throw this garbage away!" The mortician complained, trying to keep the weapon from me as I tried to grab for it.

"Taker!" I kicked at the reaper's feet, trying to get the weapon while he was distracted. He by his part sharply kneeled, not because I had hit him, but in an attempt to throw me off without touching me, proven when he sharply jumped into the air and almost made me hit my head with the roof of the kitchen. I almost let go, but stubbornly decided to keep the hold on my prey.

"What do you two idiots think you're doing?!" An angry voice wailed from below as the mortician descended with an angry grumble.

Far from letting me explain the situation to Tofu, Taker ran towards the nearest wall and sharply stopped, making me almost hit my head with his and fall. Luckily, by this point I had forgotten anything regarding our struggle for the gun in our shared grasp and just attached myself to the reaper with everything I had, the only reason I hadn't let go of the weapon was... stubbornness? That or the fact that I was too busy screaming to let go of anything until the reaper stopped.

He apparently didn't get that, taking my refusal to release his hand, which was holding the gun, as a challenge of sorts, all but somersaulting into the shop, barely grazing the roof again.

"You... pair of... IDIOTS! Come back here!" Tofu yelled angrily as he tried to run after us, it's tiny toy legs unable to keep up with the reaper's long ones as he jumped like a mad goat around the shop.

When he came to a stop -after he finally heard my threat to puke on him again- Taker's smile was as bright as the sun, all but radiating creepy vibes. At least he was in a good mood now...

By my part I felt like my body was made of some kind of watery jelly, my boneless form sliding to the floor soundlessly as I finally breathed.

I watched from the floor as the reaper eyed me up, my blank face staring up at him. My nerves are fried, I don't think I can feel anything right now...

I just stared as Tofu ran to us and started kicking Taker on the shins, watching when the man mocked the toy's shot height and completely ignored him, spinning the gun in circles with his finger on the trigger.

No. You know what? If it hasn't gone off with all that bullshit and with the idiot's antics, then there's nothing to worry about. The man can go bald for all I care.

Go bald.

The reaper had the gall to laugh at my face, putting the gun on a coffin as he went to pick me up so I would stop wasting space.

Tofu grumbled as he looked wearily at the weapon, investigating it for all of three seconds before leaving it with a scornful huff. Obviously Tofu though he was above human contraptions.

Biscuit, who had followed us when we started somersaulting around the shop with an excited tail wag, ran to us again in an attempt to get us to do that again, apparently finding it a very amusing game.

In the dog's excitement, Biscuit toppled over a flower decoration, tripped over the decorative skull -I really hope it's only decorative- that Taker always has laying around and stumbled on the edge of two different coffins coming to stand next to us with an excited smile, tongue out and tail wagging with the strength of a whip.

In fact, the tail even knocked over the gun Taker had left on a coffin, but with the way Biscuit seemed to be unable to step three feet without stumbling, I think it was nothing but a miracle Biscuit hadn't knocked it over as they steamrolled across the shop with the grace of a three footed elephant in a glassware shop.

The gun clacked as it fell to the ground, making my blood freeze as both me and Taker stared in abject horror at the gun.

It clacked on the ground with a harmless sound, but nothing more.

...

With a shaky smile -the bastard knew how dangerous it was and still played around with it just to give me a heart attack!- the mortician shrugged as he finally hefted me up, making me breath anew. I hadn't realized I had stopped breathing when I saw the impending disaster, making me dizzy.

"So... are you finally convinced~?" The mortician asked, taking the gun with a hand as he carried me with the other. I know I don't occupy that much space, but he could at least stop acting as if I was some kid he was carrying around. I'm not that small, he's just tall.

The mortician walked to the kitchen and with a careless shrug he left the gun on the table once again, depositing me on the floor afterwards, but not before paying the toll in the form of a hug.

Biscuit made their way back, following us with an excited bark, almost tackling us when they stumbled once again. Clumsy Biscuit, so cute.

"So... how do we get rid of this?" I finally asked, poking the weapon with a bit of lingering distrust as I debated throwing it out of the window and calling it a day.

"Mhmm...? Don't worry, love~! I'll take care of that~." He sang, poking my stomach with a smirk. "I do need to see who does this belong to, but after I get a bullet shot I will throw it away." He reassured when I swatted his hand away with a pout, hugging Biscuit when they jumped in between us to get some attention. Cute Biscuit, so starved for some love.

As I internally gushed about Biscuit's cuteness and how much love I would give them -such a furry ball of love!- Taker decided to Take offense to something or another, huffing and puffing like an offended cat.

And talking about cats...

Where's our very own demon-cat?

The sound of Undertaker's silent scream -I swear, he didn't make a sound, but it was almost as if he was screaming from the way he widened his eyes in panic and his body tensed, a hand going to push me behind him but only managing to bar me from interfering in the impending disaster.

Captain Socks The Terrible, destroyer of worlds and chaos bringer, was standing on our kitchen table. Right next to the gun. With its paw right next to the gun.

Captain Socks the Terrible, damn her to hell and back, _stared_ at us with its evil eyes, damning us for forgetting her existence. Then, she glanced at the gun next to her, and then back at our frozen forms.

Then, with a lightening quick swipe, she pushed the gun to the floor with an aggravated growl.

See? That cat is evil. Whoever said that animals are innocent angels from heaven was obviously talking about dogs. Our cat is the devil and no one can convince me otherwise.

The gun clacked to the ground for the second time of the day, and right as the gun hit the ground harmlessly and I believed that it wouldn't shot in the end, a loud sound left me half deaf and made me stumble back with a startled flinch.

After a second in which I examined myself with panicked glance, I turned to the suddenly tame Biscuit, who was staring in fear at the cat like she was some sort of vengeful god about to kill us all. Captain Socks the Horrible, Terrible, Destroyer of Happiness and Demon incarnate, seemed to have been equally unprepared for the loud sound, and ran like a bat out of hell, ears flattened against its head and hid under a table, wide eyes looking everywhere.

After I made sure the animals were unharmed, I turned to the reaper, who had stood still through the whole ordeal, only turning to glance at me when I put a hand on his arm.

"Are you okay?" I asked, a bit worried about him.

"Yeah. Don't worry. I did need a bullet of that gun, didn't I~? Well, now I have it. I just..." He went a bit quiet at this, eyeing both me and Biscuit with a passing glance. "...need to get it out." He finally mumbled, looking around for something. Probably the bullet.

After a blink he slowly walked to the shop and then the basement, where he took care of the dead. I followed him downstairs, confused about why he was going down there when we should be searching for the bullet and getting rid of the gun.

"Taker? Where are you going? Shouldn't we find the bullet? What if someone finds it?" I asked, unsure if this was the time to tinker with the dead. Why if the bullet hits someone?

"Don't worry love, I already found it." He said with a low hiss, making me blink at his back as he retrieved and laid the medical tools he used to mend our guests on an vacant table, he then proceeded to sit on it and strip.

"Wha-wha-wha-... what are you doing?! What the..." I started, blinking at a seemingly wet spot on the black robes he just discarded. Touching the wet spot with a finger turned said finger red. "Taker! You're bleeding! Takeeeeer! You're going to dieeeeeee?!" I started wailing, not even stopping when the mortician used me as a bedside table, throwing his clothes over my head until he was left only with his pants and shoes, his bare chest exposed and revealing the big scar he had across his chest and a newly made injury, dark red blood lazily dripping down his chest.

It wasn't bleeding very heavily, but that just meant that the wound was easily located: on his left pectoral, right above his heart.

"Takeeeeer! You're going to dieeeeee!" I wailed, scrambling to think of a way to fix him.

"Little Lia, I'm not dying. It's just a gunshot, I won't die from that." He laughed it off, sending me an amused look before he picked up a pair of tweezers from the bunch of tools he had set aside.

What do I do? What do I do?! I can't let him die just like that! I can't! If he dies... if he dies... I... I...

I need to do something! But what can I do? I'm just a human! I'm not... Wait! I have this gamer thing, right? Didn't I have a healing skill or something?!

As I frantically started opening menus over menus trying to find the skill, Taker started cleaning the wound. It was relatively clean already, considering it was bleeding less than I would expect for a shot to the heart, but maybe it had missed the mortician's vital squishy organs. I can only hope.

Skills skills skills...

Eat Rainbows, Throwing, Meditation, Magic binding... those were the chains, right? Not what I need right now.

Strength of a thousand gods, Detect presence, Cooking and Gourmet Cooking, Dish Washing... this is useless! Why can't i find it?

Hey! Charm is at level 47! I wonder what will happen if I reach 50?

Focus Dalia, focus! Taker is dying over there! Well, not really, he's taking his time making sure all the tools are clean...

Idiot.

My Mastery of Blunt Weapons is at 28? I have used it way more than the Cutting Weapons, but its still high... but I can't heal Taker by hitting him with his stick, so this is useless for now.

Oh, hey! Observe! Haven't seen this one in a while... since last time Taker reminded me... hehehe... ups. It's level 15... sort of pathetic, compared to everything else...

Impervous, Create clay minion, Magic Projectile, Physical Protection, Power strike... I should keep practicing that... later.

Here! Healing magic level 16. This should be it.

I turned to the reaper just to stifle a horrified gasp. My blood frozen in my veins at the sight.

"Taker what are you doing?!" I jumped, trying to still the mortician's hands.

"Widening the hole. It's too small for me to see properly." He stated, like I hadn't just caught him carving a hole into his chest. I furiously started slapping his hands away, putting mine around the wound and healing it frantically in an attempt to save him.

"Lia..." he tried to say, stopping when I started wailing like a baby.

"Uhhh... Taker is stupid and should go bald! You're going to die and your great idea is making the hole bigger! Stupid stupid stupid!" I started chanting, ignoring the mortician's attempts to defend himself.

He finally sighed, looking grumpily at the tender skin I had managed to regrow.

"Damnit Dalia, I wasn't done yet." He complained, instantly changing onto a more benign expression when he saw me about to bite his head off, tears cascading down my cheeks without an end. "I mean... thanks. For uh... saving me from that... bad- I mean _terrible_..." he started, looking into my face as if trying to read something. "... _mortal_... Uh... injury. Yeah." He finished, looking down at his chest with a chagrined expression, suddenly looking up at me with a strange face. "Uh... could you fetch me... Mhmm... the... Eh... thing? Yeah. The thing. You must know what I'm talking about. The thing." He stated seriously, making no sense whatsoever.

Uh... I looked at him. He was still bare chested, a small amount of blood reaching his belly button and making him shudder and wipe at it with his already bloodied hand.

"The... thing? A shirt? A towel to clean yourself?" I offered, not sure what could he need, but determined to give it to him, whatever it was. I wiped my tears in an attempt to be strong. I have healed him, he's going to be okay. He's not dying anymore, relax.

"Yeah. That. Both of those, actually. You can... go along now." He made a shooing motion in my direction. Maybe he wanted privacy?

But he's still bloody, and Taker doesn't even _know_ the meaning of the word 'private'.

Getting up slowly on shaky legs, I decided to just do as he asked, turning around to try to fetch one of the towels he used to cover our guest's private parts when in I was around.

Did he put those under the small table next to the entrance, or in the cabinet on the other side of the room?

Once I finally managed to get the towel and a shirt from the pile Taker uses to dress his guests with, I turned to the reaper, only to find him with a hole in his heart and a bullet in his hand.

"Look Lia, I found the bullet~!" He cheered, completely ignoring he was bleeding again, having somehow reopened his wound. I started panicking again, my fried nerves unable to deal with this calmly. The only reason I haven't fainted from fright was probably that Gamer Mind thing that Tofu gave me.

"Takeeeeeer!" I roared, tackling him and healing him again and again until I was left without MP, leaving me with an oddly empty feeling in my chest and a completely healed reaper, skin shining healthily and even his old scars looked more smooth to the touch.

I dropped to the floor with a relieved sigh, not reacting even when Taker picked me up and carried me to the table he had been bleeding on not even five minutes ago. I felt strangely drained, both emotionally and physically.

"Taker don't scare me like that. I don't think my heart can take it." I wailed, clinging to the reaper when he sat next to me and pat me on the head.

It felt nice, but that didn't mean I was about to forgive him for scaring me like that.

He just laughed at my distress, saying nonsense about not dying from a simple bullet and how I was a worrywart even if a cute one.

He stopped laughing when I socked him on the face for touching his already healed bullet hole, whining as I wrapped some bandages around his torso and dressing him in the shirt I had fetched.

And he spent the rest of the day with a black eye regardless of how much he begged for me to heal him.

That should teach him to give me heart attacks.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Biscuit started barking out of nowhere. _In the middle of the night, when everyone is supposed to be sleeping._

A squeak from me and a pair of narrowed eyes from Undertaker was the only answer to the frantic scratches the dog was inflicting to our poor door.

I looked at the mortician in askance before slowly getting up and walking silently to the door in question.

Slipping through as the mortician held Biscuit back I made my way silently downstairs, mentally beating myself for offering to investigate in the first place. I hadn't let Taker do anything without me being there to make sure he wasn't about to drop dead, and I wasn't about to start changing that precisely _now_. But that didn't mean I liked walking around the shop in the middle of the night.

The shop is really scary at night, especially when I'm pretty sure there is someone there that shouldn't be, but it would be more terrifying to let Taker take care of it while he's injured -even if he's not injured anymore- and me having to wait at the bedroom stewing in uncertainty.

A soft creak near the stairs made my worries go haywire, dissipating any doubts about the possibility of Biscuit being wrong.

Exactly on the third step starting from the first floor, someone had put their foot, making the old wood creak like it was being killed. I keep telling Taker to fix it, as it is quite a disturbing sound, but the reaper had a soft spot for everything old and creepy, I never will ask again to change it after this.

As I silently crouched next to the stairs I attempted to make out the figure I knew was there but couldn't see.

After a few seconds of stillness in which the intruder stood still trying to figure out if they had been noticed, the person moved again, revealing a somewhat lean figure with something reflective at where I guessed was their eyes and I assumed were glasses. Either that or it was too dark and I was imagining things.

The figure -which I'm pretty sure I am NOT imagining- kept walking up the steps until they were standing right over the place I was hiding in, crouched and waiting.

After they had passed me by without noticing my presence -time I used to berate myself and try to figure out what I was supposed to do in this situation- I decided to jump on the person and bring them to Taker. He would know what to do.

So I... kind of jumped into the figure's back and tied them up in so many of my magic chains that I wouldn't have been able to see their face even if I tried. I heard a crack that I guessed were the glasses being abused, but I didn't let go.

I dragged the bunch of chains that supposedly contained a figure to the reaper without much trouble.

Undertaker was wagging his finger in front of Biscuit in a reprimanding manner, to which I countered by throwing the intruder at the reaper's face and petting Biscuit firmly. Biscuit did a good job, regardless of whatever the mortician said. Biscuit is good.

The... bundle of chains tried to squirm free of their bindings without much success. For the attempt Undertaker decided to let go of the bundle of chains, making the figure drop to the floor in a painful heap.

As the reaper kicked the bundle of chains with a single foot a few muffled curses escaped the trapped intruder.

Taker attempted to crouch to reveal the poor sod -a man if the voice speaking curses is any indication- that decided to try their luck, but I stopped him so I could do it. He huffed with an amused smirk, mumbling something about being a worrywart but let me do it instead.

I don't care if he says he's fine and how many times he tries to prove me he's unhurt. I'm not letting him strain himself until I'm certain he's not going to start bleeding again.

An inspection revealed none other than Mr. Dimwit, an angry scowl on his face an a big blush on his cheeks.

"Oh... it's just Mr. Dimwit" Mr. Dimwit didn't seem to like being dismissed like that, and started growling and trying to escape again.

"I have a name! And what the hell is wrong with you?!" He spat glaring daggers at us both.

I turned to look at the reaper when he moved to pick Mr. Dimwit up again, ignoring my protests on the matter.

And threw him out of the window, chains and all.

...

"Shouldn't we have listened to what he had to say first? Or at least take the chains off before throwing him out..." I pointed out, blinking when the mortician went to the bed and laid on it having decided that whatever the reason Mr. Dimwit has to break into our home at this hour it wasn't important enough.

"Don't care." He grumbled with a pout. He then turned to my still form, still uncertain if I shouldn't help the blond reaper out at least a little bit or join the Undertaker in bed. He made grabby motions with his hands ultimately making up my mind for me. "Liaaaaa take care of meee~" he whined, smiling wide when I gave up on helping one reaper to pamper another in love. "Mhmmm~... I feel so loved~" he mumbled, relishing in being pampered by me.

...

I'm starting to think I may be spoiling him a bit too much...

Mhmm... no.


	38. Chapter 37

**Hey guys I'm terribly sorry I forgot to post this yesterday! I literally didn't know what day of the week we were! Or the month for that matter. I only realized when my father told me and isn't that ironic? Well, anyways, sorry for the delay, it's totally my fault, I hope it can make it up to you for the delay!**

 **Also seeing as I had to delete the omake of compensation to post last week's chapter, I've decided to put it here at the begining of the chapter so that no one may miss it. It wouldn't be fair if someone wanted to look at it again, even if it's really short and nothing really happens. The actual chapter is below the Omake, just to make it clear.  
**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

Omake

"Lia~! I'm done for the day~ what will we eat~?" Taker jumped out of nowhere and scared me half to death. Seeing this he gamely turned his face away so I wouldn't be able to see the shit eating grin on his face.

"Really?" I grumbled, narrowing my eyes at his amusement. "Because I'm pretty sure you were supposed to dig one last grave before the day past tomorrow." I pointed out making the mortician finally look back at me.

"Really~? Well I can do it tomorrow then~" he waved it off. I frowned but said nothing. "And whose grave did I forgot to dig if you don't mind me asking~?" He blinked, tilting his head to the side adorably. "I don't usually forget these things~" He defended himself.

Seeing as he had a point, I turned my back to our dinner to face the reaper. "Well... weren't you asked to dig that girl's grave? The one that was killed and we had to go pick up..." I spoke making the mortician smile in realization.

"Oh, that~! Don't worry, love~! I have that handled: Scotland Yard wanted to write something or another and the funeral will be held up for a bit~ when they are done I will make sure that girl becomes presentable to attend her funeral; can't have her attending the most important event of her life as an ugly, mangled corpse, can I~? On one hand, the shrieks would certainly be delightful..." he trailed off, looking dreamily at thin air, making me push him away before he started drooling on our dinner.

Dork.

There was a time when I had been afraid of this dork. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Maybe it was.

Undertaker wasn't exactly an easy person to get along with, but...

My cheeks turned pink, Undertaker's eyes zeroing on them for a second before he started teasing and prodding me for information, trying to discover the reason why I was blushing.

"Come on little Lia~ I won't laugh~... well, not true: I will laugh my heart out and that is precisely the reason you should tell me~" he giggled already, his own mind trying imagining the possibilities. "Liaaaaa~ Tell meee~! I thought you loved meeee~!" He wailed hugging me tightly to put to a stop my halfhearted attempt to flee.

But nothing. He's an stupid old man and should go bald!

"Liaaaa~"

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"Taker..." I mumbled from the place I had decided to use as my sulking corner, staring intently into a wall as I heard my companion move around the shop, moving things and giggling to himself as he worked.

"Yes~? What can this humble mortician help you with~?" He giggled, apparently in a good mood. I don't know why, but he has been muttering something about an earl's overdue visit.

"Why does Stephanie hate me? He doesn't even want to talk about gardening... even though I lost the competition because of Hercules. Not that he wanted to hear about the competition in the first place, so he doesn't know he was competing..." I started rambling, stopping myself when I noticed I wasn't going anywhere and shaking my head in an attempt to get those thoughts out of my mind. "So how do I talk to him? He hates me... I don't want him to hate me... even if he's an asshole." I turned to the reaper, who was brushing a young girl's beautiful hair... shame she's dead, she was so pretty...

"Sometimes you can't just be friends with someone, love. You will have to accept it sooner or later." He stated seriously as he put the brush -thankfully not mine- and picked up a ribbon in each hand to decide which she would look best in.

"But... I want to know if there's someone giving orders to Stephanie or if I'm finally free from..." I let my voice die slowly.

Maybe it was because of that? Because I wanted to get information from Stephanie... was that the reason I couldn't be friends with him? Well, maybe friends was stretching it a bit too far... but people that can be in the same room without killing each other is an acceptable goal to work for.

While it was true that I wanted to know if the nightmare had finally stopped, that wasn't the only reason I wanted to be on good terms -or at least non murdery terms- with Stephanie...

There was an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach when I remembered Stephanie's furious face every time I visit him.

I'm not used to being hated. I don't think I like it.

I haven't really done anything too bad to Stephanie to warrant such hate, right?

I just protected Tofu from him... by destroying his plans, stealing his things, blocking his powers and locking him up in a pocket dimension for the rest of his life.

It was relatively light, right?

...

Oh, my... I'm a monster.

"Bwaaaaaaaa" I started wailing, thinking how horribly had I treated the man. I'm so sorry... I'm evil and I don't like it!

"What happened now" the mortician's flat question broke me out of my self deprecating fest, making me realize I started wailing my lungs out without any apparent reason.

"I'm a monsteeer! I did terrible things to Stephanie! I have to get him out!" I determinedly stated, making Undertaker all but drop the dead girl's head onto the metal table he used to treat guests with a loud sound, his head snapping around to stare at me intensely.

"Don't. You. Dare. Little Lia _no_." He hissed, eyes digging holes into mine as he warned me against letting Stephanie out. "No. _No_. NO!" He roared when the determination in my eyes didn't falter in the slightest at his words. Seeing as that wasn't working, he tackled me.

I managed to dodge him by some higher miracle, and would have been able to release Stephanie if it wasn't by Tofu's interference. I'm not sure why, but I didn't expect Tofu to betray me. Thinking it through, I guess I should have.

In any case, I ended up tied up in the same magic chains I had taken to using lately.

A short explanation about why I was such a horrible person granted me two facepalms, a plate of cookies and a pat on the head.

"Little Lia... don't you think that the reason he... doesn't like you might not be... what you think?" He carefully offered, taking a cookie and put it in front of my face for me to bite into, allowing me to eat the cookies without releasing me from the chains until they were sure I wasn't about to mess things up.

"I don't get it. The only reason he would have to hate me is because of what I did to him... but he doesn't hate you as much as me even though you're the mastermind... he even let you eat one of his tomatoes! But every time _I_ enter the dungeon he immediately tries to kill me!" I wailed. The mortician's stone faced look telling me he was debating if he should tell me now and cute his amusement short or risk me letting Stephanie go.

"Lia... Because every time you enter your dungeon you greet him by saying: 'Hello _Stephanie_ how are you today'". He stressed out something, like I was missing some point.

"Exactly! I'm perfectly nice and polite but he hates me!" I sighed, exhausted by the mortician's lack of understanding. He doesn't get it.

"I don't think you're getting my point, dear" he simply stated, making me slump in defeat.

After a few seconds of silence, the mortician finally spoke again. "Think of it like the second coming of Mr. Dimwit." He stated seriously, making me blink at him. "Mr. Dimwit's way of making friends is... poor, and the only way both he and Zephyr..." he coughed a few times, muttering 'Stephanie' once as if trying to stay serious. "They are both... a bit awkward at making friends, but I'm sure that Ze- Stephanie..." the serious line of his mouth curved upwards, threatening to break into a smile. "Will forgive you and even become friends with you if only you stop running away crying every time he tries to attack you." He stated seriously, apparently convinced we could both be friends somehow.

"You... you really think so?" I looked up at him hopefully.

"No" he snorted, making me flinch in surprise and start wailing. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't try..." he tried to appease me once it was obvious his words weren't what I had wanted to hear.

I... I would try! I can do it!

"And about Zephyr's boss... you shouldn't worry about him. I got that handled." He stated, offbeat as he jumped to return to his work, leaving me chained on the spot.

"Oh... so there really was someone pulling Zephyr's strings..." I muttered, blinking slowly.

Undertaker turned to me with a strange look. "Love... didn't you put the pieces together when we were sent that ass... ah!" His confused expression suddenly melted into a more benign smile, like he just saw a kitten or something. "I suddenly remembered I was talking to you... and what that entails regarding expectations of common sense and intelligence." He sighed a long suffering sigh without any heat, making me feel oddly insulted, despite not being sure _why_. "I don't think you need to know, anyways, you're funnier when you're not worrying unnecessarily. I'll take care of it." He waved his hand turning back to our guest in concentration, ignoring my attempts to levitate the cookie in front of me to my mouth with willpower alone.

Finally deciding that Telekinesis wasn't something I would be able to learn, I toppled forward in an attempt to shove my face against the plate of cookies so I could eat them. My hands were a bit busy... being chained... now that I think about it...

"Hey! Don't leave me tied up here! It's cold!" I cried out, trying to look up to the mortician to make use of my puppy eyes, but I couldn't wiggle back into position. Not that the mortician was stupid enough to _look_.

"Nope~ hi hi hi hi~" he giggled, leaning in my direction to steal one of my cookies with a happy giggle.

"Noooo! My cookie! Go bald Taker!"

* * *

Undertaker was silent, Biscuit was out and Captain Socks the Terrible was sleeping like the slumbering beast it was.

A look around the uncharacteristically calm shop showed we were open, but no client was in need of our services for the time being, and that made Undertaker _bored_.

Normally, when applied to the reaper, being bored was dangerous and usually involves a disaster caused by Undertaker to help relieve his boredom. Usually with disastrous consequences for me.

That wasn't the case now, as sometimes -very rarely- Undertaker went into a pensive mood of sorts, delving deep into his thoughts and forgetting to move his mind away from dangerous thoughts.

Right now was one of those occasions. Undertaker was leaning over a coffin with a bored pout painted on his face, his eyes lost somewhere as he wondered some serious topic that made his eyes turn sad and lost.

His pale face was devoid of any sign of pain or distress, his fingers caressing the coffin he was leaning on like it was some sort of cat, his other hand hanging limply as he looked with an absent face at the door as if waiting for someone to enter.

The darkness of the shop hid his features, but even from my place inside my personal coffin I could clearly see his mouth pursed into a flat line and his eyes gave off a feeling of solemnity threatening to drown the whole shop in a melancholy atmosphere. His eyes... were unbearably sad, and if they looked even a little sadder than they currently were, I was sure he would start crying without even noticing.

Unable to bear with the heavy feeling in my chest at the sight, I decided to get up and get him out of his reverie, walking up to him a little hesitant if he would appreciate it but determined to do it anyways.

I walked slow steps to approach the reaper, only deciding to hurry up when his eyes lazily changed to rest on my approaching form, but he didn't show any signs of recognition, like he was staring right through me. That was worrying.

Kneeling in front of the reaper, I softly touched his face and kissed him softly, my lips brushing lightly against his cheek. A slow blink after the reaper's eyes slowly cleared of the haze, leaving me staring at a confused mortician.

The confused face slowly melted away into a peaceful expression, his eyes lightened up and seemed to shine anew, his lips twitching upwards in a smile that made my heart jump to my throat and beat faster.

"What's that~? So cute... Mhmm~..." he hummed, angling his face so I could kiss his lips without trouble. I did so and I was rewarded with an deep kiss that left me breathless and blushing like mad. A hand settled on my back and lead me closer to the reaper, making me sit on his lap as he captured my lips again.

After the impromptu make out session I pulled away from his lips, staring intently at the mortician's eyes. After a few seconds examining them I determined he was fine now, and happily pecked his lips again, glad the haunted look in his eyes was gone without a trace.

Still sitting on his lap, I rested my forehead on his neck, relishing the mortician's warmth.

"Taker... how come you sometimes are so cold... and others you're warm... like now?" I asked, relishing this rare moment of warmth coming from the reaper's usually cold skin. It was appreciated in these chilly winter days, and even more appreciated when it happened in the cold nights.

"Mhmm~? Oh, that. I just forget to have my heart beat from time to time, and I end up cold. He he he~ what's with that scared expression, love~?" He giggled, obviously knowing why my face had taken on a horrified expression at his words.

"Your heart..." I mumbled, unsure if I was supposed to believe him or he was just pulling my leg.

"Yes~! What to listen to it stop~? He he he~ it's quite an unsettling experience~!" He offered, giving me a shit eating grin, enjoying the horrified expression frozen on my face. I slowly shook my head, refusing his offer.

"Your loss then~! He he he~ Maybe I should have kept quiet and give you a scare later on~! He he he~ although I guess I do owe you a lifetime's worth of information, don't I~? Hihihihi~" he giggled, almost throwing me off of him in his attempts to control his laughter.

A comfortable silence settled in the shop, the calm atmosphere returning after both of us failed to talk again. I felt myself almost dozing off, only managing to stay awake for the fear someone would enter and find me on top of the reaper, fast asleep.

Lately a certain... serenity had made the shop its home. No. Not just the shop; the whole city had become quiet lately, almost sleepy, as if they were waiting for something and could do nothing but wait until the moment came. It could be a side effect of the cold weather, but Taker had mentioned it was because of a certain serial killer loose on the streets. He said it was a mix of fear and anticipation, a morbid curiosity for this gruesome killer's motives and methods.

I think he just wants to scare me into not leaving the shop after dark.

"Hey, Taker..." I mumbled from my place in the reaper's warm embrace. I was answered with a hum I decided to take as a sign he was listening. "Now the little Phantomhive is the Queen's watchdog, isn't he?" I asked, already knowing the answer. He had been the Queen's Watchdog for... how long has it been again?

Was it this year, or last year's? Mhmmm... I think this is the first year I send Phantomhive a birthday gift after the incident, so it must have been a little over a year since the Phantomhive manor burned down. Phantomhive didn't answer my happy birthday card, but that hadn't been unexpected.

Has it really been only a year? It feels like it has been longer. At the same time... it feels like it has been shorter, too.

"Yes." Was the short answer from the reaper, obviously unhappy with the current topic of discussion.

"Then... this killer that has been prowling around... will he have to deal with him?" I asked, looking up at the reaper.

"Eventually." He confirmed with a small frown. "The Whitechapel murderer hasn't drawn too much attention to themselves yet, but it's only a matter of time until the public's attention shifts to the fact that all these deaths aren't exactly a coincidence. Scotland Yard knows, but until it becomes a matter that actually annoys _that woman_ enough, I doubt the dog will be set loose." He clarified, making a face when he spoke the last sentence. He was probably talking about the Queen.

I had some mixed feelings regarding the Queen. On one hand, I hadn't met her, and couldn't exactly judge her; in my time she had been very famous, bringing forth a great age called after herself: Victorian era. On the other hand...

I couldn't help but resent her a bit for burdening a mere child who just lost his parents with such cruel job. And if Taker was right, she would make Phantomhive go after that murderer. A child after a killer. It wasn't fair, it was cruel.

I couldn't help but worry.

It was a bit selfish, but I hoped Undertaker was wrong. I wished that the murderer would realize what they were doing and stop killing people, preferably before Phantomhive was forced to face them.

Even if that meant they would never be caught.

The victim's families deserved some closure, I knew that but... I didn't want Phantomhive to get hurt, too.

I was worried, but I could only hope everything would end up alright.  
I hugged myself as I looked out of the window, wishing that there wasn't some bloodthirsty killer stalking the streets tonight.

* * *

"I need to ask you to unbind me from our promise" Undertaker suddenly blurted.

"...eh... What?" I mumbled, not yet ready to understand his words.

I hadn't quite expected that, as it had come from out of the blue. We had been getting ready to start the day, with Undertaker staring in deep thought at a coffin until he turned to me just to blurt... that.

"What promise?" I asked. There were few promises Undertaker had made to me, so to hear him asking to go back on one of them was... startling.

"The one about the dolls" the reaper clarified, making an uncomfortable feeling crawl up from my stomach and pierce my heart like a spear.

...

Once his words meshed together to form a sentence with sense in my brain, I felt my eyes widening, and my already worried mind started panicking. Undertaker was serious, his voice and face were solemn, the impish smirk he had when he joked nowhere to be seen.

"Why? What happened?" I worriedly asked.

"I've been thinking, and I think I can get rid of that demon if I use them. Besides... I was asked for help in a matter that would greatly benefit if I used the dolls." The reaper mumbled the last part more to himself than to me, so I decided to focus on his first sentence, rather the incoherent mumble about help and dolls.

Demon? "Zachary...?" I asked. He was the only demon I knew, but he was already taken care of.

"Not quite. Zephyr is human~" The reaper clarified.

I blinked, remembering Observe had said something similar. But... he was cheating...

I shook my head, deciding to forego that subject in favor of learning more about what was Undertaker talking about, and why he was asking something like that.

"But then...?" I mumbled, something cold crushing my heart with a merciless grip.

"The butler" he simply said.

"What butler?" I questioned, confused. There were a lot of butlers running around in this time, if he expected me to remember them all...

"Phantomhive's butler" the reaper finally clarified, poking my forehead with his finger in a way that told me that it should have been obvious.

The one that might or might not be a demon hound?

"He's a Demon?" I asked, confused. Why didn't anyone say anything? Or was he a demon because he was a _demon_ hound? Because in that case, I already knew that.

"Yes" was the only answer I got, the reaper not bothering to elaborate.

...

So I was right. He really is a bad dog.

"...and you didn't think of mentioning that until now?" I raised my eyebrows as I asked that, disbelieving. While true I had already known about it, I had guessed that the mortician would've at least said something if I was right, so I had left it as a 'very probable possibility'.

Who was I kidding, I had been certain of the bad dog's identity since I learned his name. It wasn't very subtle, although he had been nicer as a dog. Cuter, too.

"I did think of it~..." he lied straight to my face and we both were aware of that fact. "but I figured it may be more interesting if you didn't know~" he continued, ignoring my expressionless face, completely unimpressed. "Although I might as well tell you now~ hi hi hi" he finished, finally cracking a smile that had been threatening to break Undertaker's serious face. Seeing as he couldn't contain himself any longer, he started giggling, allowing a wide smile to form on his face, leaving me standing there too worried to feel awkward.

"And... you want to make dolls..." I deadpanned, still worried but managing to pull off an unimpressed tone. I don't see how mixing a demon dog with undead zombi dolls can produce anything but disaster.

"I didn't actually promise anything~..." The reaper reminded me, making me frown. "But I still didn't want to lie to you, so I'm telling you that I'm going to keep my work with them." He simply clarified.

I noticed that he wasn't really looking for my permission, he just wanted me to know.

Which... while I didn't like he was going to keep going with his dolls, I guess I did kind of appreciate the fact that he didn't hide his activities from me.

"Thank you for telling me, then..." I mumbled a bit down, after all, it did kind of leave a sour aftertaste in my mouth.

A hand petted my head, softly caressing it.

"Don't be sad, little Lia~... you know it breaks this old heart..." the reaper whispered softly, trying to cheer me up. I saw in his eyes that he did feel bad for making me sad, but wasn't regretting his decision if his determined frown was anything to go by.

I hugged him.

"I'm fine" I lied, not wanting him to worry about me, despite the heavy feeling in my chest.

"Liar~" He accused, a knowing look in his eye.

"I don't like them" I attempted to defend myself, intimidated by the apparent knowledge hidden in the reaper's eyes.

"I know~" He soothed, trying to calm me down after he realized I was in distress.

"You..." I began, taking a deep breath. "At least you're not going to... you know... don't do it to bring Vilvent back" I reminded. That part he _had_ agreed to.

"I know dear~..." he grimaced. "I won't~..." he confirmed, putting some of my upset to rest. "I have no delusions about what I'm doing. I'm not bringing people back to life~... just fooling the body into thinking so, creating an empty shell, not really human anymore..." the reaper had started mumbling to himself incoherently eyes lost and a frown as he refused to meet my eyes.

I still don't understand what could he possibly need to do with those dolls, but if it's to help the little earl...

"Why do you need to help Phantomhive with the dog? Biscuit behaves well enough..." I pointed out.

A bewildered silence stretched for a few minutes after that, the mortician's face making hilarious movements as if he wasn't sure if he should laugh or be exasperated at me. He settled for a serious expression and an explanation in an infuriating patronizing voice.

"Lia... when you say 'demon' your first thought is a demon hound. When _I_ say 'demon', I think of the beast that ate Zephyr The First's soul the very second his wish was complete." He explained, his patronizing voice morphing into a resentful spat as he spoke of such a serious topic. "A demon is an animal whose only goal is to eat the souls of the living, playing with their mind, hopes and dreams to further their own hunger." He spoke, frown on his face and a serious look in his eyes.

Then I realized something. "Wait. If the butler is a demon... then... is Phantomhive...?" I trailed off uncertainly.

"In a contract with the demon" he finished for me, confirming my worries.

Oh, my. I felt myself being flooded with worry. If the diary is any indication of demon's usual behavior, then the second the earl's request is completed the demon will devour the kid's soul. Undertaker's description isn't very flattering, either... did he have some bad experience with demons in the past?

Rather than being calmer from knowing that Undertaker was going to deal with it and help Phantomhive, I worried even _more_ , already on the verge of panicking. What do we do?! We can't let him kill the kid! As much as I love the man, I will be the first to admit Taker isn't exactly the most... well, he doesn't usually care much for anyone besides the people he cares about -a very short list of people that doesn't involve poor bystanders that just happened to be passing by- and if he plans of using his dolls...

This isn't going to end well.

"Is that why you didn't like the butler?" I asked accusingly, deciding to focus on something other than the ticking bomb that was this whole situation. I would rather not think about the fact that Taker is going to keep messing with his dolls. Or that people might get hurt for it because Taker _cannot_ give a flying shit about collateral damage.

"You're still going on with that~?" The reaper pouted as he leaned back in distaste, complaining as he pouted at the door of the shop, which was still closed. "I thought you would have forgotten by now~" He trailed off, glaring at the locked door.

"So it _is_ that..." I noticed.

"I said nothing of the sort" he grumbled, pouting harder.

"But you didn't immediately deny it, so it's probably that" I stated, knowing I was right and the reaper was just trying to be difficult.

"Your reasoning is flawed, dear~" He noticed, still not denying anything.

"You actually like Phantomhive~" I smiled at the reaper. Not that it was secret.

"Why that teasing voice, is that illegal~?" The mortician raised an eyebrow confused. He was quite adorable when he didn't feel embarrassed at all, it made me want to hug him.

"Uh-huh~" I simply hummed, leaving it up to him to interpret the meaning. "Taker likes Phantomhive~... he's a big softie~" I teased, smiling at the unabashed reaper in front of me.

"What's up with that singsong voice~? It's not like I can't be a softie~, did I ever say that I wasn't~?" The reaper smiled, amused at my antics.

"Aww... How come I cannot tease you?" I complained, pouting. "You always do it. Why doesn't it work?" I asked sourly.

"I think you have to find the right button to press~ hi hi~" He gave me his piece of advice.

"Then what button should I press?" I asked, hopefully.

"Not gonna tell ya~! Hi hi hi hi~" The mortician giggled, having a blast at my expense.

I will make him tell me, even if I have to chase him around the shop all day long.

"Tell me! Rawr! I'll make you tell me!" I roared.

"Aww how adorable~" He squealed.

"No! I'm fearsome! Tell me!" I frowned at the reaper's blush, narrowing my eyes at his lack of fear.

"So cute~!" The mortician drawled. He wasn't even attempting to humor me, he was just gushing, squealing and wiggling in place like a worm. Very creepy.

"Rawr! Fear me!" I attempted again.

"Hi hi hi~" He just laughed, blind to my intentions.

I wanted to chase the reaper, but I couldn't really chase him if he wasn't fleeing.

I think there's a flaw in my master plan.

"Taker!" I finally exclaimed, spelling it out to him. "You're supposed to run away! How else am I supposed to chase you?" I complained.

"I'm sorry little Lia~ but this old man is not moving anywhere~ hi hi hi" he said from the comfortable place on top of a coffin.

"..." I started thinking about ways to get him moving.

"Hi hi hi~" He waited patiently for me to think of something.

"I'll tackle you" I threatened, deflating when he just giggled and opened his arms invitingly.

"Please do~!" he cackled, unfazed by the threat.

"I can tickle you" I offered, unsure if he would react to the bait.

"..." the smile on the reaper's face froze and I perked up, knowing I was spot on.

"Start doing laps old man, or I'll make you go bald" I smiled haughtily fingers ready to tickle.

The reaper literally disappeared on thin air before I could start tickling him.

"Aha!" I shouted, satisfied. "Come back here you coward!" I screamed as I ran after him.

"I thought you wanted me to run, not come back to you~?" The reaper questioned from his place behind my pink coffin. Ignoring his taunts I just turned around determined to chase him around the shop.

"Ha ha! You can't hide from me!" I ran in his direction, but he disappeared before I could get there.

"Hi hi hi~ make up your mind, dear~ hi hi~" he leaned out of the doorway leading to the kitchen, completely unconcerned.

"I'm supposed to chase you for a while" I explained, because apparently, the old man wasn't getting the point of the game. "then I will somehow trap you, tackling you. Then I will hug you, and you will kiss me, and then..." I trailed off, thinking about what would happen after that.

"Dear~?" He questioned, approaching me cautiously as if fearing it was a trap.

"Then..." my mind was lost in the hypothetical scenario, and didn't even notice the mortician was standing right in front of me.

"Are you alright~?" He asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

"..."I didn't react, I was staring blankly ahead, lost in my thoughts.

"Did you break~?" He repeatedly poked one of my cheeks.

I blushed. "No! You can't do that! You pervert!" I finally blurted.

"I didn't do anything yet~?" The confused reaper tilted his head to the side, amused.

"Ahhh!" I squealed, still lost in my mind.

"Little Lia~?" The mortician was giggling, terribly amused.

"That's so embarrassing..." I squeaked, mortified.

"Little Lia, you're getting ahead of yourself..." the mortician giggled "Not that I mind~" he laughed.

"No! I won't let you!" I finally exclaimed, completely red faced, and started fleeing.

"Little Lia~? Why are you running~? I thought you were supposed to be the one chasing me~?" The reaper asked, but was more than willing to continue this game we had going on by chasing me around the shop.

"..." I simply ran, too mortified to actually say anything.

"Little Lia~? Come on, dear~ I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to~" he teased, probably getting an idea of what had been going on in my mind.

I ran around the shop, determined to avoid the reaper for the rest of the day or until I dropped dead from exhaustion.  
I would rather drop dead than be caught.


	39. Chapter 38

**Hello! Here is chapter 38! I just realized how far i got with this and I have to say I am amazed I got this far. I didn't think it would take us this long, but we're officially on the year that cannon starts. The sory got completely out of hand the moment Dalia started doing what she wanted, and becasuse Taker cannot leave her to face the consequences of her actions, the brat has completely destroyed any semblance of the storyline I had in mind. In retaliation, I'm determined to make them destroy cannon and tear it to shreds to the point not even Yana herself will recognize her own story... probably. Knowing Dalia and taker as I do, I won't get away with it, but I will definitely try!**

 **Well, enough with the rant! Thank you for your reviews and for reading my story again! I would have never gotten this far if it wasn't thanks to you all!**

 **magibear: Yes! I had plotted so hard behind scenes, making this out and then... Dalia just... breezed along. It felt a bit sad, because I was sure no one would notice these things! I'm glad you noticed! I will try to keep plotting thing behind scenes even if it takes me a bit longer, although I doubt Dalia will pay much attention to that... In that regard, Dalia is not a good character for kuroshitsuji, but I guess this is kind of the whole point of this story. Without help she's doomed, Lia cannot go back to her old life of solitude and daily rutine, so she better adapt or she will sink in the dark streets of London... sadly taker decided to flip me off and is giving her a piggyback ride. Not for long if I have any say in it!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

I was humming a song as I went about my day, cleaning the shop and avoiding both Tofu and Captain Socks the Terrible. Taker was down in the basement doing highly disturbing -and illegal- things, so thankfully not my problem.

As I made sure to place a decorative (but suspiciously real-looking) skull back to its rightful place and out of the sight of our more refined guests, I noticed the lack of a certain demon hound.

Biscuit had been going missing for extended periods of time, but that wasn't new nor worrying. What was strange was that Captain Socks the Terrible, who more often than not was the reason behind Biscuit's disappearances, was right on the kitchen table napping, and with no Biscuit in sight.

Biscuit disappearing without the haughty cat was new and very worrying.

After a second panicking, I realized that Biscuit was likely to be with Taker downstairs, after all Biscuit wouldn't leave the house without Captain Socks the Terrible.

A second of deliberation determined that yes, Biscuit was worth entering the lair of a mad scientist while he was in it, most likely in the middle of possibly dangerous funky experimentation. Just for Biscuit. And because the aforementioned mad scientist is kind cute when he's laughing like a maniac.

Not that I had the guts to say that to his face.

After a cautious trip downstairs and a paranoid glance at the thankfully unmoving corpses, I found the reaper half buried in a pile of papers. He looked like he had hit the desk with his head, making the stack of papers fall on top of him. That or he decided to swim in paperwork just for the hell of it.

He will hurt his back if he keeps like that.

Walking until I was behind him, I softly trailed my hands over his shoulders, debating on what the point of doing paperwork was, if he was just going to play with it or burn it like that time I saw him do with a vindictive smirk and dangerous glowing eyes.

A sigh escaped the body I was almost hugging, apparently relishing the small break I had provided. Mhmm... Maybe he needs a relaxing massage... or a cup of tea. Let's go with the first, if only because I don't want to walk up the stairs again.

A small whine and a shuffle of his limbs to allow me to work was all the reassurance I needed to keep kneading his tense shoulders. He really needed a break.

"Mhmm~... did I ever say how much I love you?" The mortician almost moaned, letting his head rest on the desk again, this time from bliss rather than exhaustion. I made a noncommittal noise to signal I was listening but didn't find an appropriate response. If I answered that he didn't, I would be lying; if I answered he did, it would be like I was saying he's always repeating himself, when I actually like hearing him say these things... as long as they are not embarrassing.

"I do~... I love you the most..." he kept going, thankfully too absorbed in my ministrations to realize I hadn't answered. "In fact I might just die from loving you too much. My heart is a cranky old thing, you see. Cannot even beat properly." He mumbled from where he was pressing his face against the desk, making his words hard to understand if it wasn't because I was literally behind him.

"Taker?" I whispered, seeing the mortician completely unresponsive, he wasn't even twitching. "Did you die?" I asked, already knowing he wasn't dead but still wanting him to say he wasn't. He never missed the chance to do so, a fact I actually liked a lot.

So when the mortician _did_ miss the chance to say he wasn't dead yet I started to worry quite a bit. Unnecessarily, as when I leaned to check he was still breathing I found the reaper drooling on the desk, completely asleep.

A sigh and a head shake was all the reaction I would be showing without the mortician awake to react and instead decided to look around to find what I had come here for.

Biscuit.

Not that I needed to, if Biscuit hadn't tackled me to the ground in a whirlwind of tough love, slobbery licks and bruise-making dog-hugs, it meant that the demon hound wasn't anywhere in the vicinity.

"Tofu? Do you know where Biscuit is?" I asked at thin air, hoping the toy could hear me and I wasn't just acting like a madwoman.

Instead of Tofu coming to acknowledge my words I was instead surprised by a screen appearing in front of my face.

' **Minor New Quest! [Leave Tofu alone]**

 **Quest requisites:  
** **-Find Biscuit before lunchtime  
** **-Make lunch  
** **-Don't bother Tofu for three hours (0/3)  
** **-Kick the Reaper (0/1)**

 **Quest Rewards:  
** **-Tofu's undying gratitude  
** **-A cookie'**

Hey! A Quest! It's been ages since I saw one of those! Tofu said he didn't see the point of giving me missions through the Gamer Power if I knew he was the one giving them to me, but I had missed them quite a bit. I was glad he had apparently changed his mind.

I smiled as I looked at the mission. Tofu wanted some time alone... and did this. I can't even be angry, as I had missed the Quests a lot.

I almost coughed when I saw Tofu asked me to kick Undertaker. Ha! Good try, but not even all the experience in the world would make me do that while he sleeps...

But a cookie might.

"Hey!" The reaper fell to the floor in a crumpled mass of limbs, whining about the rough awakening. "What was that for?"

' _Minor Quest Update! [Leave Tofu alone]:_

 _Kick the reaper -complete-'_

"Tofu asked me to" I explained, feeling a bit guilty for the treatment. But the cookie... "He said he would give me a cookie" I pointed out when Taker decided to glare at me like I had betrayed him. The betrayed pout went away at my words, probably realizing the situation. He nodded, fully understanding my motives.

Although the look in his eyes tells me he's planning revenge. Hopefully not against me.

...

Nope. Nothing to do with me. I'll just ignore that.

"Taker! We have to find Biscuit! It's also part of the mission! Although Tofu only wants me to leave him alone... but anyways! Biscuit is gone!" I rambled as the reaper quietly picked himself up from the floor.

"Why worry~? Biscuit is probably playing with the little kitty~" he waved me off, cleaning invisible dust out of his clothes. I do clean, thank you.

"No. Captain Socks is upstairs nap- eh... Captain Socks _the Terrible_ is upstairs napping, but there's no Biscuit in sight." I fretted, in my nervousness almost forgetting to add the cat's _honorary_ titles.

The reaper frowned at this, walking upstairs as I followed after him until we were out in the backyard, Hercules raising his head to look up at us in apathy, still munching on some hay.

A look around proved that Biscuit wasn't anywhere near our backyard, which made me worry despite knowing Biscuit could take care of themselves just fine.

"You shouldn't worry, the cookie dog isn't as stupid as they look." He tried to reassure me, a small frown forming over his eyebrows as he saw my worry increase when Biscuit didn't jump out of nowhere to play. "I will look around the shop's backyard, you go look if they went to the cat pack's hunting ground." The mortician ordered, unusually serious, making me nod without any hesitation as I immediately turned tail to run to the shopping district, specifically the street where we were (repeatedly) mugged by cats despite their leader literally living (freeloading) at our place.

When I reached the desired street I almost deflated when I didn't find Biscuit there. On the other hand, the bunch of cats that were supposed to be here wasn't anywhere to be found, so... it could actually be a sign.

Looking around to make sure Biscuit wasn't playing hide and seek anywhere, I ran to the nearest big street, looking around at the bunch of people acting normal -which means the usual baffled looks and no mad running and screaming because they saw a giant dog loose on the streets- I decided that maybe Biscuit wouldn't come that close to the such a big street. I had tried to teach them to avoid people.

...

It was a work in progress. Biscuit was too nice for their own good.

' _You have encountered an empty Instant Dungeon. Do you want to enter?_

 _Y/N'_

Eh? What's this? Wait... isn't this like the time I was pulled into a dungeon? Biscuit had been inside that time, right?

Maybe... Biscuit had wanted some time alone? Should I leave then? No, at least not until I make sure they are okay.

"Yes"

Without any fanfare every sound around me vanished, the people disappeared to reveal a deserted copy of the city.

Looking around I didn't find Biscuit at first sight, but I could hear them thanks to the silence of the dungeon. Hopefully it's Biscuit and not someone else's resting place.

Trying to silently walk towards the source of the scuffling -it felt wrong to break the silence of the place, but that was probably stupid- I arrived to find a white haired man and a small teen with equally light hair apparently walking over each other and putting each other's limbs in their mouths, fighting... or playing.

...

A few minutes of pointed staring revealed that the child -how could I ever think of them as a teen?! Heresy! - was none other than Biscuit. Poor sweet Biscuit who was munching on the other's tail like nobody's business.

...

Oh! Another dog, then. Normal people don't have tails, silly me.

Now that I had realized this were two dogs, it was easy to see they were playing, making a smile form on my lips. Poor Biscuit, even with Captain Socks the Terrible around, they needed someone else to play with, as the cat wasn't... always interested.

' _Minor Quest Update! [Leave Tofu alone]:_

 _Find Biscuit -complete-'_

I smiled at the scene, considering if I should leave them to it and go make lunch. It was one of the requirements for the mission... even if it was a bit early for that. Maybe I could stay with Biscuit while they played and go home together when they get tired. Maybe we should make a stop at the shop to buy some ingredients...

Ah! But we couldn't stay here for so long, Taker seemed genuinely worried, someone should warn him we were okay.

My thoughts distracted me enough that I didn't even notice when another man approached the dogs and put a hand on each of them. What I did notice is Biscuit uncomfortably whimpering a bit and looking around as if unsure.

The man - filthy bastard that made Biscuit cry! - Also had white hair -what the hell was up with everyone having white hair! Seriously it's supposed to be a color reserved for old people and mystic beings! - didn't seem to care about the kid's -my kid! - uncomfortableness, tugging them along in some mysterious direction.

I was having none of that.

With fury in my eyes -no one kidnaps Biscuit with me in the vicinity!- I jumped the trio, planting a foot firmly on the man's face sending him flying an impressive amount and crashing against a wall that destroyed a good part of it. And hopefully his ugly face. Bastard, how dares he touch Biscuit?! I'll make him a new face!

Biscuit -sweet precious kid-dog, source of everything right in this world- all but jumped me in delight. The other dog also jumped me, but I doubt it was from delight.

Apparently the second dog _did_ like the man. Maybe it was their friend or master, which... oopsie. Maybe I shouldn't have done that... Maybe the man only wanted to get them out of the dungeon, in which case...

Uh-oh. I better run for it.

So I did.

Exiting the dungeon with an elated Biscuit and a furious rabid dog closely following my footsteps, I wailed internally, asking myself why didn't ask first and kick later.

Seriously, no one had asked me to get involved... well, maybe Biscuit -because I wasn't leaving them to their luck- but that wasn't a reason to kick an innocent man unconscious. I'm a horrible person!

When we were all almost reaching the shop -angry dog included- I felt something tackle me from behind, making me fall short of planting my face against the door of the flower shop in front of our funeral parlor.

The attacker was none other than a white giant dog with a devastated expression like I just killed his puppy. Uh...

Another giant dog -this time black and barely any smaller than the white dog pinning me down with one of its paws- tackled the white dog, sending them both on a furry of limbs and fur.

Biscuit! Don't fight!

A kick to the white dog left them confused enough that I managed to open my inventory to look at what I had there.

Trash. Trash. Trash. Hey! A cookie! Trash. Trash. My personal stick of doom. Trash. Leftovers...

I eyed the "leftovers" with a critical eye. I had taken to use my inventory as a refrigerator, which meant that the food I put there didn't rot or even cool while it was in there.

Taking out what had once been a pot full of meat soup but now was only left with a pot with meat in it -as we had finished that long ago- I placed it in front of the dizzy dog, Biscuit whining and trying to steal the food for themselves.

The dog perked up, wagging their tail at the offering and jumping on the pot to eat it all. So cute.

"I'm sorry I kicked your friend... have this as an apology" I said despite knowing the white dog couldn't understand me.

Biscuit tried to garner my attention, taking it away from their furry friend by licking me and getting in the way.

"We are right in front of the shop. I think you can wait until lunch to eat, Biscuit." I chastised the smaller dog, making them try harder to convince me otherwise.

"Uh-uh..." I mumbled, entering the shop with the empty pot once the big white dog finished with it, Biscuit closely behind.

After a minute of silence in which I decided what I should make for lunch, Taker entered the shop and sent me a very strange look.

"No." He simply stated, making me blink in confusion.

"Okay" I agreed despite the confusion I don't know how he read my mind, but if he doesn't want some soup to fight the cold weather it is not my problem. Maybe he would prefer something lighter, after all, maybe his wound still hurt?

"What do you think I said no to?" He stated with a perfect poker face, making me squirm. Was that sarcasm? One of these questions you are not supposed to answer to?

"Uhhh... you said no to soup?" I answered anyway, because he did seem to be waiting for an answer.

"..." Undertaker didn't dignify my words with an answer, instead he just grabbed my head and firmly moved it to look behind me and at Biscuit.

...

And at the other dog that had somehow followed us.

Uhmm... why is it still here?

Oh. Oh no.

"Nonononono. No. No way. Nope. Too much trouble. No more dogs. No more dogs. Go back to your master. Go away." I waved frantically at the white haired dog, who eyed my appendages like they were toys to play with. I retracted my limbs close to my body when the dog tried to play with them, but thankfully Biscuit rescued me by tackling the other dog.

"Taker." I turned to the mortician with the perfect poker face. "Make them go away!" I wailed, asking for help.

The reaper's lips twitched upwards, shattering the poker face and sending him into a fit of laughter, crying rivers from laughing so much.

I don't know what is so funny! Taker was the first to say 'no' to the dog! I just agreed wholeheartedly!

Right then the door opened and a beaten up Mr. Dimwit entered the shop looking sour. I turned to him glaring daggers, ready to send him into oblivion with a kick when he surprised me by turning to Undertaker. "It left. I don't think it's coming back." He cryptically started making me look back and forth from the stupid reaper to the serious mortician.

And then Mr. Dimwit tried to attack me from behind. I didn't even need to kick him, as a pair of angry dog-kids tackled him to the ground and used him as a chew toy.

...

I turned to the reaper with the puppy eyes at full power. "Takeeeer... can we keep them?" I pouted, anticipating his refusal.

Surprisingly, the reaper hadn't expected me to change my mind so fast and had innocently looked me straight in the eye. While I had my puppy eyes at full power.

Undertaker collapsed foaming in the mouth, mumbling nonsensically about a cute thing that would kill him from cuteness one day.

"So... can we?" I wanted to make sure. With him having collapsed it was very unlikely he would deny me anything right now, but I wanted to make sure anyways.

A defeated sigh escaped the reaper's lips, knowing there was little he could do to change my mind. "Very well."

* * *

"Its name is actually Pluto" Tofu stated from his place on a coffin. It had taken a while to convince him to explain the situation to me, but in the end he had relented. The dog -whose name I had decided would be Pudding before I was enlightened with their actual name- shot its head upwards like a whip and stood to attention. Yep, that's definitely their name. What a shame, I had actually started to like the name Pudding... I hope I don't mess their name up from now on.

"Like that defective..." I blinked, realizing I had almost screwed up. "Wait, no. That was Goofy. Like the dog that has the same face as Goofy?" I asked, looking at the suspiciously happy dog that shared name with the Disney character. Was it a disney character? I think so... but maybe I'm messing things up, it's been a few years since I was exposed to anything from my old time.

"Like the planet" he corrected, not liking the comparison I had come up with and offering another instead.

"Pluto is not a planet" I pointed out, pretty sure the toy already knew that, after all the toy knew a lot of things.

"IT'S A PLANET BECAUSE I SAID SO!" The unexpected outburst made me scramble backwards in surprise, making me fall on my butt. Pudding and Biscuit ran to hide behind me, obviously wary of the small toy.

"Okay, okay... it's a planet" I quickly agreed, not wanting to press the clown's buttons. it's not like I cared very much if Pluto was a planet or not. As far as I am concerned Pluto is a space rock and its very far away from here, and therefore not my problem.

"Humph! That's what I thought!" The toy shot, haughtily looked upwards like some sort of very satisfied peacock.

I glared at him from the corner of my eye, deciding to face the newly named 'Pudding' despite now knowing its name was actually Pluto. Yes, I can defenitely feel I'm going to call them that from now on. It's not like it matters right? It's a name as pretty as any other. I doubt the dog will care very much if I call them one name or the other... hopefully.

"Hello cute Pudd-... eh... Pluto." I quickly corrected myself. Just because I knew it was an exercise on futility doesen't mean I shouldn't try as long as I still remember their actual name. The dog wagged its tail rapidly, I don't know if from excitement because I said their name or from addressing them at all. Biscuit jumped in between us, tongue out and panting in a very happy manner.

Uhh... this is going to be a problem. Now I have two Biscuits.

Pudding... eh... Biscuit... damn! Eh... Pluto. Pluto tackled Biscuit out of the way, trying to get my attention like the needy cute dog it actually was.

Such a good kid.

"Pudd-Bis-Kal- gah! Pluto!" I scrambled to remember the poor dog's name, my head hurting from trying to find the correct one. Too many names... I should give up trying to get the right one.

"Having trouble~?" Taker sang from behind me, startling me and making me scream as I jumped straight into the arms of two highly happy demon dogs, who decided to lick my face until it was completely covered in a fine layer of slobber.

"Damn you Taker!" I wailed as I tried to avoid any stray tongue to get into my nose, ears or mouth. They were completely capable of it.

The reaper laughed at my misery, completely forgetting the fact that I could be a vindictive little shit if I wanted to.

...

I just need to think of a way to pay him back.

...

...

Smiling at my idea, I reached for the reaper, bringing him closer to me as I lovingly kissed his cheeks. He smiled but didn't seem to realize the trap I had sprung on him.

Because now he was the sole focus of my attention. Attention that a pair of dogs were fighting over not even three minutes ago.

Needless to say Taker got tackled to the ground and trampled by dog limbs as they tried to push themselves between us so I would hug them too.

"Good dogs!" I praised, right as Undertaker growled the exact opposite from below the dogs, not enjoying the stomping fest.

"Stupid dogs should go away" he pouted when he found himself on the floor while Biscuit and Pudding/Pluto abandoned him in favor of hugging me and rubbing their heads against me.

He got what he deserved for being an ass.

"So... what do we do with yet another pet?" I asked the reaper as he slowly picked himself up from the floor.

"Well~... There's a thing called 'hot dogs' that no one knows what exactly are they made of... how about we try to discover if their name has anything to do with their contents~?" He proposed, eyeing Biscuit and Pudding with a particularly nasty look.

...

"How does that have anything to do with...? Wait a second! You can't eat them!" I tackled the mortician in an attempt to restrain him in case he decided to just start skinning them.

"Hi hi hi~ why not~? They don't taste that bad~!" He laughed at my horrified face.

"Is there any innocent animal you haven't had a taste of yet?" I cried, silently apologizing to all the poor animals that had become a victim of the reaper's stomach.

"Mhmm..." he seemed to take my question seriously, which made me worried for a very good reason.

...

"...aside from the obvious 'human'... I think I have never had a taste of Donkey. I have eaten horse, but not donkey. Poor Hercules would never look at me in the same way." He giggled as he slowly started playing with my hair, the dogs trying to tackle the mortician away from me.

"I guess... that it acceptable." I mumbled, unsure if it actually meant Taker had eaten _all_ other types of animal or if donkey was just one of the lucky ones.

* * *

"So... What were you doing?" I asked Tofu as he was glaring at a strangely familiar blue pendant with a gem in it.

Today I had been feeling a little down, so I came over to have a word with Tofu, and if he let me, maybe even pet his head to feel better. But of course I wouldn't admit that, so I would pretend.

"I'm trying to use this thing's power to make you immortal without you actually needing to wear the pendant like Zephyr did." He answered as he kept glaring daggers like the jewelry had insulted Tofu's mother. I blinked in confusion at his words before I suddenly understood.

Oh! So this is Zephyr's pendant. Aha! Uh... who was Zephyr anyways? Doesn't really ring a bell, but Tofu mentioned him like I was supposed to know him...? Uh... I should just... nod.

"And why can't I wear it? Is it dangerous?" I asked, risking a peek at the blue gem that seemed to shine even in the darkness of the shop. It gave me a cold shiver.

"No. At least not for you. But I don't want to risk giving you the power to summon an earthquake, among other overpowered abilities. Especially because you would either never use it, or use it every time you wanted a cookie." He briefly moved his eyes to glare at me, returning to glare at the pendant when I looked properly chastised. I wouldn't do something like that! Probably.

Earthquake... Oh! Zaphyr is Stephanie! Wait... wasn't Stephanie his name? Does he have two names? How confusing. No wonder I always get his name wrong.

"So..." I prodded, noting Tofu had stopped paying attention to me. Maybe I should just try to pet him just like that? Maybe he wouldn't expect it if it came from out of the blue... wasn't there an idiom about praising the audacity? Or something like that?

Although... I'm not very audacious, so maybe I should just...

"So I'm trying to reverse-engineer the magic of this thing to learn how to work the spells individually, or at least that was the idea. Turns out it's not a spell but a curse, so I now have to mingle my own magic with the pendant's to mimic the way it works so I can hopefully recreate the effect. Although from what I'm seeing this is more of an skill trade than a curse... but I cannot find what did Zephyr give up in exchange of this power... how strange..." he started muttering to himself, not even realizing I hadn't understood a single word of what he said.

...

Okay. Magic jargon. Abracadabra, please give me a cookie and all those confusing words witches and wizards use to make things appear... or whatever they use magic words for.

I'll just... go over there and... stare into space or something. Maybe hug a pillow.

...

...

Takeeer!

"Did someone call?" A certain old man peeked inside with that stupid smile I loved so much, spotting me staring into space before I tackled him out of the blue.

"Taker hug meeee" I wailed right as Tofu grumbled "No, you're imagining things" under his breath but by then neither of us was listening to him anymore.

"What happened?" He blinked, looking worried, completely ignoring the clown like he hadn't even heard him talk.

"I was sad, I don't understand Tofu's magic jargon and I want a hug! I have been deprived from human interaction for half of my life and now I want a hug but when I went to find you, you were working and I didn't want to disturb you" I cried rivers into the reaper's clothes, Tofu's unimpressed glare looking up to rest on me for a second before apparently remembering he didn't care and returning to the pendant. "And Biscuit and Pudding were playing and I just felt excluded!"

"Awww~ poor little Lia~!" He then proceeded to smother me in a hug. It felt... nice. Safe. I felt like crying, but in a good way.

"Uuuuh" I teared up.

"Little Lia~? Why are you weeping? Am I not here to make you feel better when you are down? Let me embrace you, love~" he whispered, despite the fact he was already hugging me so tightly that if he applied more pressure, I would stop breathing. "Don't mind disturbing me, I would never mind~" at a thought that apparently crossed his mind he started giggling. "I wouldn't mind even if it is something _disturbing_. He he he~" he smiled wide, lost in some alternate reality where I told him so outrageous that it disturbed him into a fit of laughter. Or that I would have to assume, considering he's laughing his guts out.

"Get the hell out of my sight. You are disgusting." Tofu drawled from his place over the pendant, finally gracing us with his attention for more than five seconds.

"Lia~! Let's go, I found something interesting I want to show you~!" He dragged me off without waiting for my opinion, giggling like a witch.

"As long as it's not a dead body." I grumbled, not willing to release the reaper but not comforted by his insane giggles in the least.

To no one's surprise, it was a dead body.


	40. Chapter 39

**Hey there! Yet another chapter and I can confirm that next chapter we will definitely enter the so awaited cannon! Not much else to say, but thank you for reading this fic up until now! You are amazing!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Undertaker's grumbling woke me up from the unexpected nap I had decided to take.

"What's wrong...?" I mumbled from my place huddled in his arms. Pudding twitched a bit before shoving their face against my back once again and Biscuit kicked the other dog in their sleep, making the bigger dog growl sleepily.

"Nothing at all~! I had just planned a delightful visit to Phantomhive's on my way back from my... business stroll, but apparently I won't be able to go. Something about training new servants... I somehow feel that the little earl is avoiding me~... it can't be, right~?" He asked as he narrowed his eyes at thin air, nibbling his nails in slight stress. From the look of things, Taker didn't take very well the Earl's attempts at avoiding the reaper.

"Maybe if I gave him a discount..." He mumbled, lost in his thoughts. Biscuit stretched again making Pudding shove them out of the white dog's immediate space, making Biscuit fall to the floor. The black dog got up in a mess of fury, disheveled hair and limbs, ready to pay Pudding back.

"I don't think that would help any..." I pointed out. "In fact, despite how generous you think you're being, I don't think he appreciates being spooked every time you give him a discount. In a way, you're still getting your payment." I stared at him, putting a hand on Biscuit's head to stop the impending fight between the demon hounds.

"Mhmm..." he hummed, thinking about it. "Yes... maybe I should stop giving him discounts... he will end up thinking he doesn't have to pay me and we don't want that, do we~?" He smiled, happy with his conclusion, and started giggling like a witch.

"That's not what I was... you know what? Never you mind. You won't listen to me anyways." I grumbled, hugging the two trashing dogs tightly and preventing them from biting each other's face off.

"I'm glad you think the same~!" He brightened, a smile that shone so bright that I would need sunglasses to look at directly, aimed straight at me. He's clearly not paying any heed to any words that come out of my mouth.

"Arghh! Okay okay! Do whatever!" I hissed, looking away as the reaper decided to hug me like I was his personal plushie, a hug that encompassed the two trashing dogs, making them go strangely silent and still. I really don't know how he does that, and I'm not sure it's a good thing either.

After a second in which I desperately needed to rub my teary eyes, I looked at the lost in thought reaper.

"When are you coming back?" I asked sadly, my voice akin to a puppy being abandoned. I didn't like it when the mortician had to leave, especially because it was 'job' related despite refusing to take me along.

"I'll be back shortly~" he reassured. "There was an accident and they need my... expertise to deal with the aftermath~ He he he he~" He cackled. I didn't find it very funny, he was leaving me here to act as a nanny for the two dogs. Besides if someone needed his expertise, it was certain someone died.

Biscuit yawned and settled back, ready for another round of the cutest dog nap of history. Pudding was already out cold again.

London was... unexpectedly dangerous, as beautiful as it is. Like a rose, its thorns were carefully hidden by its breathtaking beauty.

"Take care, alright? And don't do anything stupid. Or dangerous. Or dangerously stupid. And for the love of cookies, don't do anything that would make me hit you over the head." I nagged the reaper, making sure he wasn't forgetting anything.

"It's just for the rest of the day~" he half-complained half-reassured. "By tomorrow morning I will be back in your arms~ no need to fuss~" he giggled. "Even if I like it when you do~" He quietly whispered, quickly kissing my lips and running before I could say more.

I watched him leave out of the door, leaving me feeling unexpectedly lonely.

"Don't forget your change of clothes! If you come back tomorrow with the same stinky clothes I will kick you out!" I shouted at his back, smiling at the wave I got from him even if he didn't turn around to do it.

As I slowly walked out of the shop to see him off, I eyed him as he climbed the carriage, which already had someone else I didn't know inside and my stomach started doing backflips. Was he going to be okay?

"Eat everything they give you! Don't think I won't know if you fuss about the food!" I shouted, knowing the reaper's particular habits when it came to food. "And don't frighten people... at least more than usual. Don't make people angry or I will kick you!" My nagging picked up in volume and fussiness when the reaper made a motion for the driver to leave already, effectively making his escape. "If you come back hurt I'll make sure to chain you and lock you up for the rest of your days! And if something happens, anything, do send a letter, call or something! You hear me?!" I wailed after the carriage, a white head peeking out of the window to shout a very cheeky: "Yes mom!" before it completely disappeared in the busy streets of London with a distant cackle bouncing after it.

I sighed in exhaustion, feeling a bit lost without the reaper there with me and looked around, feeling terribly embarrassed when I found a good amount of people giving me looks.

I ran back to the shop like a bat out of hell.

"Yipp!" I whine made me look at the dogs, who had huddled together to sleep... if it wasn't for the fact that Pudding apparently liked to nibble on Biscuit's tail while succumbing to sleep like a baby would a pacifier.

"Pudding! You can't do that to your... sibling? Friend? Buddy?" I started chastising Pudding, who looked at me with the most innocently confused expression I had seen since... this morning, when together they ate the newspaper and a pair of shoes.

"Yeah. Not working on me. Apologize to Biscuit, you can't do that to them." I pointed out at Biscuit, who tried to nuzzle me before they were rudely pushed back by Pudding trying to do the same.

"No. Don't apologize to me. You have to apologize to Biscuit." I sighed in despair when I only managed to get wet kisses by both dogs under my care. "Taker cannot come soon enough."

* * *

A knock rang through the shop, making me look up from where I had left Pudding after playing 'who can burry Pudding under more layers of Taker's shirts' with Biscuit. Needless to say Biscuit won. And Pudding, if you look at it in a different light.

Walking downstairs I figured someone hadn't noticed the closed sign and had entered the shop by mistake. I must have forgotten to lock the door with all the fussing when I discovered Pudding making holes into Taker's shirts in an attempt to getting them on. Biscuit wasn't helping either, in fact, I'm pretty sure they are the mastermind behind this.

Walking down the stairs and into the main shop showed the room was devoid of any people... at first sight.

A sudden click was all the warning I had before someone came from behind the door and grabbed me from behind.

My heart hammered inside my chest in fright and a gasp escaped my lips as I tried to think clearly and calm down.

What? I was being grabbed by behind… by someone. Why? This was clearly a mistake. If I could explain the-

"Where is he?!" The voice, male and strangely raw as if they had been shouting all day long demanded as they pressed something cold against my neck.

Oh! For a second I really thought the click was from a gun, but I guess our friend is more of a knife man. Not that it helps matters very much... or at all.

"He?" I tried to force the air through the arm trying to crush my windpipe. For someone asking questions, he doesn't make it easy to answer them... maybe a rhetorical question then? Should I have said anything?

"You know who I am talking about! Where did you hide him?" He turned me around a few times, making me face random parts of the shop as if expecting to find someone there.

"Are you here to pick up a body? Usually... it's the other way around, but I'm sure that if-" I coughed when the arm sneaking around my neck tightened, a side effect of digging the knife carefully into my skin just enough to make me go silent. Or intimidate me. Because I'm very intimidated. If only Tofu hadn't messed with my ability to freak out, I would have fainted or surely started screaming. Not that I could while I was being chocked, but it's the thought that matters.

"Don't go being a hero now, we don't need anybody to get hurt. I know you hid him somewhere, but the question is..." The man hissed against my ear, slowly pushing me towards the kitchen and staircase as he looked frantically around. " _Where_."

"I really don't know who you are talking about." I tried to inch a bit to get some much needed space between the _dangerous and pointy_ knife and my neck carrying my _precious and very essential to live_ blood.

"Oh, I'm sure" he laughed. I... think that was sarcasm? Maybe?

"Can't we talk this out?" I offered, unsure if this was part of one of Taker's mad schemes or if I was supposed to beat this guy up.

"No. I'm the one making decisions here." He peered into the staircase, debating if there was a trap waiting for him there.

"The... Undertaker is not here..." I mumbled, unsure if that was information I was supposed to NOT tell or if he was actually looking for Taker. Maybe he thought I had somehow hidden the reaper?

"I know that! Why do you think I waited until he wasn't here?! Now, how about you tell me where my gold making guy went to before I don't slice your pretty neck?" He shoved me downstairs, almost making me trip down the steps.

"You... should be careful with that" I pointed to the knife. "Someone could get hurt." I pointed out carefully.

The guy stopped in his tracks, looked at me, and suddenly appeared to become much bigger and muscled than I had originally come to believe, thankfully giving me some much needed distance in the process.

"Yeah? And who could that be?" He growled, a scowl marring his features and inching his face closer to mine.

"Me" I pointed out like it was obvious. I mean, I almost beheaded myself when I almost tripped down the stairs.

The guy hadn't somehow expected that answer and stared at me like he was trying to puzzle something in his mind.

Apparently puzzles weren't a pastime of his, as he decided to sweep the whole conversation under the rug and act as if it hadn't even happened.

Okay...

"So... I'm sorry, but if you're looking for someone here, I'm afraid we only have dead people..." I tried to reason. Maybe he went mad with grief? "I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm sure you will find someone else to... give you money? Was he a sponsor or something? Are you an athlete? Tennis maybe? Cricket? Lacrosse?" I babbled, trying to remember if there was someone especially wealthy that we had treated recently.

"For the love of- Shut up!" He pushed me to get the point across.

...

Oh, my. I'm a monster. I have become the shop florist! I was talking nonstop, just like she does! I spent too much time with her, I knew it! It's contagious! Maybe I should warn Taker? Nah he's a reaper, he'll be fine. I should warn my captor that if he stayed too close to me he could get infected too, though.

I opened my mouth to do exactly that.

"If I hear a single more word from you, I'll cut your tongue and slap you with it" he growled, looking for something or someone around the dead.

Maybe I won't say anything. The mental image is disgusting enough, I don't want to test it out in reality. Wouldn't I die if someone cut my tongue?

I was about to ask the man if he wanted me to leave or something, as he seemed desperate trying to find something and it would be easier to find it if he could use both his arms, but remembered that he didn't really want me to say anything. So I didn't.

And I didn't say anything either, when a furious pair of demon hounds pounced on him, all but swinging him around like a ragdoll.

I did step in when they tried to snack him up, though. I didn't want to risk them getting contaminated by eating something exposed to the 'talks-too-much illness'. TTM? It rings nicely, and for an illness that makes you talk too much, I'm sure this is a nice way to counter it.

Wait, focus Dalia!

"Oh! Sorry! Are you okay? Biscuit, stop eating his shoes, he needs them to walk! Pudding, don't even think about it!" I warned the dogs in kid form, Pudding's mouth dangerously close to leaving the man without the capability to reproduce. "That is disgusting, you don't know where that has been. You don't want to put your mouth there." Pudding debated internally before sullenly sitting back, Biscuit happily munching on the man's naked foot. "Biscuit, just because I only mentioned the shoes doesn't mean you can snack his shoeless feet." Biscuit looked up to give me the wet puppy eyes, the cutest sad expression I had seen since... since Pudding gave me the same look when they tried to eat Biscuit's tail.

"No" I firmly stated, making Biscuit all but pout.

I turned to the man, ready to apologize for their behavior.

* * *

Undertaker was convinced: college was stupid and he didn't want to go back ever, if he could get away with it.

Of course, it was mildly amusing the reason he had to come here, but to say he was happy to cover up some stuck up kid's misdeeds would be a misunderstanding. Especially because they hadn't left him take his little Lia along. Something about impressionable kids and this being a male college or something. It wasn't even for a full day! Besides, they had other females... maids... or cooks... or something. This was clearly a ploy to annoy him. Or to make him leave quickly.

If it was the latter... well, it was working. He didn't want to be here a second longer after the fact.

At another time, or if he didn't have to worry about his darling lover suddenly setting the house on fire, he would have been _delighted_ by the opportunity to mess with this lot.

Sadly, this wasn't another time, and the only reason he hadn't ran back to his humble shop was because he was thinking about the _other_ important people of his life. _Only_ other, if you want to be strict. The dead don't count anymore, do they? At least they don't for the living.

Luckily for the Queen's relative, the living won't realize the brat's true nature for a while longer. But he would make sure that in time it would move the Watchdog's attention to this place. He could make him reappear and act as normal, but of course that would defeat the purpose of this whole ploy.

What was the kid's name again? Darry? Derry? Something like that. Undertaker didn't care very much when it was mentioned, and he certainly didn't now.

And thinking about it, he was kind of doing something his little Lia wouldn't approve of, wasn't he?

Mhmmm...

No, of course not! He was just 'helping' a bunch of snot nosed brats to hide their crime and act like the perfect little bunch of pampered kids they were! Nothing wrong with that.

The other dead, the teacher... now, that one was actually _really_ interesting. Perhaps he could use his experience gained with this case to... ah.

No, Dalia would definitely hit him over the head if he did that. Although, _technically_...

Uh. Dalia didn't _actually_... no, she was going to kill him with or without technicalities if she heard.

Maybe he should take that as a hint to... _not_ do that. Or simply avoid letting her know. That was another option.

...

He had been thinking about this for a whole year, he wasn't going to come to a realization _right now._ He would decide... later.

Mhmmm... Thinking about it, he had more troubles to think about than just Phanthomhive. Like the fact that Zephyr's boss was now broke and desperate.

He had decided to 'punish' - _economically_ \- him every time he invested in Zephyr's rescue, but apparently he had overestimated the man's brain prowess. The idiot had become far too greedy of Zephyr's ability to travel to other worlds to get foreign trinkets to sell and had become absolutely bankrupt. He had taken himself out all on his own.

The only loose end was the man himself. He didn't think him above trying to search every inch of London in an attempt to find Zephyr. Maybe the man had to be silenced.

As much as he appreciated the man's help in developing new handheld phones, among other top notch technology, he didn't really appreciate the fact that -like everything else in life- the rich were the first to ever get that new technology.

That rotten fiend had solidified England's supremacy in the technological department. And now the reapers were determined to search every nook and cranny of London until the matter was explained.

No one made such a huge jump in recent discoveries without a little of outside help. He just had to make sure to clean himself and Dalia from any attention the man may bring in their direction.

Speaking of his darling lover, he had decided to skip dinner with that idiot Stoker and go back early with his sweet Lia.

Ryan was a good kid, but ultimately he was just a brat, too naive to understand how the world works. Refreshing in a way, terribly sad, and perhaps a bit masochistic of him.

In any case, if he wanted to dine with a naive good kid he would rather eat with Dalia. She was a bit of a fool, also too naive for her own good, but way better than Stoker! Although he may be a teensy bit biased: he loved that birdbrained, cute, potato-faced, _adorable_...

Cough cough. He loved her to death and back.

Maybe he should introduce the two idiots sometime... Ah, not a good idea. Stoker is deep into the bizarre doll business... which Dalia doesn't like. He wouldn't put it past her to actually use her naive kid logic to somehow convince Ryan to stop with the dolls... and he didn't want to risk that. Nope. They weren't meeting if he had a say on it. And he did, so they wouldn't know of each other's existence for a very long time.

It was a bit late when he arrived at the shop, but he knew that if he made hungry noises or complained a bit about not eating, Dalia would be on him faster than he can blink forcing food down his throat. Ah... the joys of domestic life, he supposes.

When he opened the door of the shop... he wasn't mentally prepared for what he saw.

A stranger was sitting on one of their coffins, a blanket around his shoulders and a fascinated look on his face as he looked at his little Lia while drinking a warm cup of tea.

He carefully cleared his face of any expression he might have made while he was caught off guard. His little Lia was knitting something while she showed the stranger -who on second look happened to be Zephyr's greedy boss- the way she was knitting what appeared to be a scarf.

He stared at the scene for an unknown amount of time until the man noticed him, and paled. I'm fact, he paled so much that he was half convinced he would become one of their newest guests in short order. He allowed a wide -wicked- smile to form, slowly approaching his prey as the man all but tried to flee.

"Hi hi hi hi~ my~ my~ I wasn't aware we were expecting visitors~ if only I had known... I would have made sure they were properly _entertained_." He hissed as he took another menacing step forward and the man frantically looked for an escape, his eyes suddenly settling on his little Lia _and he didn't like that at all._

" _Taker"_ Daliaall but scolded making him come to a stop despite wanting nothing but kick the man out of their home. Had she noticed the threat? Mhmm, perhaps he shouldn't have been so obvious... "Stop scaring our guest... visitor! I meant visitor, don't cut him open please." He blinked realizing that Dalia only picked up his menacing aura, not his threats and mentally kicked himself. He knew his Dalia was oblivious, he shouldn't be that surprised.

But that was one of her charms, wasn't it?

He smiled wide, not a trace of the previous dark expression he had been wearing a second ago. "I would _never_!" He giggled, not explaining if he was referring to the scaring people part or the cutting someone open part. Dalia didn't notice anyways. The man definitely did.

He inched closer to the girl, all but putting her between them and using her as a wall to hide behind.

He didn't like that one bit, but he could be patient when he wanted to. He would wait for him to drop his guard and... well, whatever happened afterwards wouldn't really be his fault.

He smiled widely, with a bit too many teeth to not be unsettling and sat next to his protégée, snaking an arm around her shoulders. The man scooted backwards and further away from him and consequently, her. Much better.

"So~... whatever did I miss~?" Dalia blinked at his arm before happily cuddling against his side. With Dalia right by his side, he found himself relaxing slightly.

"Oh! Well, this sir" she pointed at the man trying to become invisible and disappear into the wall, who only could smile shakily. "...was looking for someone. For a second I thought he was looking for his sponsor, but turns out _he_ was the sponsor and the guy he was looking for was the one making money. Sadly I explained that if he was looking for him in here, he was probably dead, and then the conversation somehow turned into how I made a bunch of clothes he saw, so I ended up showing him how I did it and then I invited him over for tea." She explained, the man rapidly nodding to her words like he wholeheartedly agreed with whatever she was saying, looking ready to faint.

Now, now... he wasn't _that_ scary~

"Oh really~? How... civil." He gave the man the stink eye, making him wilt and try to inch further away from them. "Are you sure you're not forgetting to tell me anything~?" His eyes ran up and down her form momentarily stopping on her neck, where he could make out a small cut if he squinted and leaned closer.

The girl looked honestly confused, either for the invasion of personal space or the question, but she did shake her head and visibly ponder if she was indeed forgetting something. The man squirmed in his place, seemingly deep in some kind of religious ritual or prayer.

"Uh... mhmm... oh! Well... Biscuit and Pudding attacked him, so I made him dinner as an apology. Did you eat anything? There's some leftovers, or if you don't like them I can make you something." She fussed, making a smile blossom on his face as he made a fainting gesture and complained about starving.

The man used the small window of opportunity to run for the hills leaving him glaring at the human's back. "You should have let me punish him." He grumbled as she heated some broth that smelled like the heavens descended just to bless this pot.

"I'm fine. He was very nice." She distractedly hummed back, putting him some of the leftovers on a bowl. When her back was turned, he added two spoonfuls more to his portion.

He gave a satisfied huff when he sat in front of his dinner. He was going to get fat and he was going to enjoy every second of it.

"That thing on your neck doesn't say the same" he pointed out, idly remembering all of the man's hiding places he had left and planning to make a visit. Someone would need to arrange his funeral after all, and he was more than happy to oblige.

"Neck? Is it a hair? The necklace? I don't feel anything" she tried to feel her neck up missing the faint cut by a long shot.

He guided her hand with his before returning to his food, watching every emotion passing through her face.

Surprise, confusion, realization, regret, exasperation, and finally something soft he only decided to name fondness when she faced him and pecked his lips.

"So?" He pressed, knowing she knew exactly where that cut came from.

"It was a misunderstanding" she stated with a certainty that only came from one of her fits of naivety. What was he going to do with this one? "Don't you dare terrorize him" she warned him before he could even start plotting.

Oh, he wasn't going to. He would be too busy making up the plans for the funeral to really terrorize his soon to be guest. Would he like lilies? He does look like someone who would appreciate lilies. Maybe he should ask. It wasn't often he had the opportunity to interview his guests before they lost the ability to talk. Maybe he should add some Dahlias just for the sake of irony.

"Taker I can hear you scheming from here. Don't you dare." She warned, eyeing the now empty bowl of broth and taking it to the kitchen to clean.

He feigned a gasp as he snatched the bowl back with fake offense. "I would _never_!" He sniffed, cleaning the dishes he had dirtied by himself.

"Yes you would." She pointed out a bit more wearily than this mere quarrel deserved, so he puffed up and started pouting to lighten up the mood. If she had grown so attached to the idiot, he guessed he could _try_ to avoid any permanent damage. But he wasn't promising anything.

"Humph! Now I'm angwy" he put on a show of being childishly angry, with a pout and looking away, coupled with the crossed arms and everything. A sudden shove from the side sent him away from the dirty dishes so the perpetrator could take his place and finish cleaning. He absently hummed, watching her go about with keen interest. She did seem to have lightened up, the dark thoughts already forgotten.

That got a relieved smile out of him. She was prettier when she was happy and oblivious, like a baby duckling. So adorable.

He loved the way she would pour herself into whatever was doing at the moment. The way her concentrated frown made her look like a kid determined to be an adult, and the way she would sometimes move from side to side like she was dancing to a song only she could hear, sometimes even humming along... she was beautiful, maybe not in a classical way, but beautiful all the same.

She wasn't a breathtaking beauty that would make men drop to their knees and turn heads in fascination or awe. She wasn't brave in the sense that she could walk the streets with confidence and her head held high.

But she was beautiful. In the same way that only a comfortable bed after a long tiring day can be. She was beautiful in the sense that she was honest in everything she did, giving herself even when she really shouldn't. She was brave in the way that she could face monsters to protect what she cared about. She was extraordinary in the way she treated him, like he was a normal man, like Biscuit and Pluto were normal kids, like Tofu was a normal...

He made a face.

Well, Tofu wasn't a normal anything, so let us skip that one.

The point he wanted to make was... she was beautiful. Just like the vibrant blue sky can be beautiful for a man seeing it for the first time.

He felt like he had been blind for a long time. A blindness that had nothing to do with the fact he was a reaper.

And he would protect his little Lia, his little sky of vivid colors and gentle breezes, so that no one would ever be able to hide it behind a cloud.

"Lia~" he called, making her turn around to look at him with surprise. Maybe she had thought he would keep up the angry pout for a while longer. How cute, he wasn't really angry.

"Yes?" She blinked innocently, tilting her head slightly to the side just like he did when confused. She was picking things up from him, wasn't that adorable?

Walking closer he wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her head so she wouldn't be able to see his blushing cheeks, faintly smelling her calming scent of pomegranate, seawater and something sweet he never seemed to be able to place. Maybe peaches? No, something even sweeter... Persimmons. Yes, that's it. She smelled of ripe persimmons, inviting him to take a bite.

"Lia..." he whispered near her ear, lost in thought at that wonderful smell that made him relax without meaning to.

"Yes?" She repeated, obviously not understanding anything of what was going on. She really couldn't read the mood, but that wasn't anything new.

"Kiss me" he asked, relishing the way her hair tickled his nose and almost got a giggle out of him. He sneezed instead.

"Taker?" She asked, either worried about the sneeze or about the request. Or maybe she wanted him to lower his head into a more reachable height so she could actually comply. Deciding to take the last meaning as valid, he wordlessly rested his forehead against hers, looking intently into the blue eyes staring innocently at him.

Mhmm... She looked confused so he had been wrong about her wanting him to get his head to more reachable heights... but she did seem to realize the clear opportunity for what it was and made a small jump to kiss his lips, accidentally slamming her face against his in the process.

"Ah!" She gasped, pouting at the failure. If she had gotten on her tiptoes, this wouldn't have happened. Silly little Lia.

"Tsk Tsk Tsk~ you don't learn, do you~?" He drawled, amused at her apparent distress which came more from embarrassment than any real hurt.

"Is my nose bleeding?" She asked worriedly, showing him her face. He gave her a critical examination. She was fine, her pride was the worst victim of this incident.

"Mhmm... no. But you _do_ have something on your face... Right over there..." he pointed vaguely at her right cheek and had to suppress a smirk when she wiped at it. "Nope, It's still there" she started scrubbing furiously with a frown. "It's not coming off, and it's all over your face~" he sang, giggling when started pouting and trying to clean her face with saliva.

"What is it? Permanent paint or something? It shouldn't be this hard..." she mumbled with a hint of frustration. He decided to let the joke drop and deliver the punchline.

"Oh, my bad. You just had too many beauty on your face and I couldn't help myself." He smiled as he watched her stop and stare at him in confusion. Come on... you can do it... think a little harder...

"Oh! Oooh! Ah! Hummm..." she made a series of very eloquent noises, revealing that she finally understood the compliment. He was starting to fear it would go right over her head.

"Hi hi hi~" He couldn't help but giggle, moving from side to side and taking Dalia with him thanks to the hug he had trapped her in. "Hey~ Lia~ let's go do something funny~" he giggled, thinking of all the things they could do together. Maybe they could blindly pick a train and go wherever, scraping money to go to their next destination, their future in the hands of fate...

"It's nighttime, Taker. We can't go anywhere, and you just got back. Let's go to sleep before Biscuit and Pudding decide to drag us to bed." She quickly shot his plans down.

No matter, they had time. They had a lifetime to spend it next to each other, more if the stupid clown finally stopped glaring at random things in his shop and started working. He could afford to let this day end without further excitement.

He wouldn't become too complacent, however. If there was something he had learned from his long years, it was that life liked to make the most sudden of twists and turns, and he could feel the telltale signs of anxiety start to creep up on him, urging him to spend more time with his love, to do more and more and more.

"Let's go Taker, I'm right behind you" Luckily, his little Lia was surprisingly good at easing his worries without even meaning to, just by being there for him.

It didn't matter if he spent the rest of his existence right in her arms, he would still feel it was never enough. The comfortable feeling of being loved was not one that could be sated simply, it was a gaping hole, always demanding for some more love and affection despite being surrounded by it.

"Let's go together, side by side instead" he whispered, smiling softly at the innocent confusion at the non sequitur.

"But the stairs are only big enough for one...?" She wondered making a wide grin crawl on his face without his permission.

"I'll carry you~!" And before she could try to smack some sense into him, he took her in his arms and carried her bridal style to their bedroom.

"Go bald Taker!" She screeched, trying to detach his hair from his head in aggravation.

Yes. She was indeed beautiful.


	41. Chapter 40

**Hello there, I am now proudly able to say we are officially in cannon! Wee! Let's party!  
Let's not. I fear to see for how much longer we will be able to _stay_ in cannon, considering... things.**

 **Just a friendly reminder that from here on there will be SPOILERS! As in... a lot of them... more than you believe. As in... chapter 141 spoliers which is one of the last ones that came out. Because apparently I can't control my characters, so let's not even start with Taker. Don't say I didn't warn you!**

 **HoloObssession: Thanks! They are a cute pair indeed! Sometimes I wonder how the hell did they turn out this way...**

 **Well, without further ado you can all give a big round of applause to Mr. Chapter 40!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does. But that's not really surprising, is it? It is called FAN-Fiction.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

A lazy yawn escaped Undertaker and for once it wasn't from boredom.

Lately the murders of prostitutes in Whitechapel have become more common than before, Undertaker pointing out that the murders were always more often during the season, when all the aristocracy came into the city to socialize, but lately the murderer has become bolder and bloodier.

Undertaker was convinced this was the work from someone from the underworld, whatever that means, and therefore the little earl would have to pay us a visit sooner rather than later.

He had also said that only someone who was highly experienced could do what the killer does so quickly, and that the fact that they became more active during the season pointed out to someone from the higher class.

Thankfully the season was coming to a close with the ever approaching winter months, so after everything calmed down again Taker would have more free time. The poor man was getting worked to the ground, if it wasn't because he was a Grim Reaper I would have been seriously worried. He didn't want to hear anything about vacations, though. He seemed convinced the earl would drop by any day now.

I rather doubted it. Or should I rather say, I _hoped_ that wasn't the case. The season was coming to an end, and the killer would go dormant during that time, it would be pointless to start an investigation with so little time left to investigate.

The especially gruesome murder of yet another girl changed that.

Apparently, while all the other murders were bad, this one had been especially horrible, and had made the public scandalized at the bloody show. I wasn't sure what they were so outraged over. The killer had been prowling and killing mercilessly for a long time already. They should have reacted long before this.

That wasn't what made me pause.

What made me make a double take was the nickname they had given the bloodthirsty killer: Jack the Ripper.

And who didn't know the legend of Jack the Ripper? The forever unsolved mystery. The crime was famous for never finding the perpetrator of the murders, one of the biggest mysteries of all times.

It gave me a sort of relief I didn't realize I needed.

Jack the Ripper was never found, they simply stopped killing and their mystery was forever buried underneath the lore, fiction and detective novels it inspired.

That meant that if the little Phantomhive was ever tasked with finding the killer, he would never find him, and would not come to any danger.

Jack the Ripper was never found to have killed some poor child that came looking for him, as long as I heard. Of course, so little was known about Jack the Ripper that it was impossible to know that for certain.

Taker seemed convinced that the killer wouldn't stop until it was forced to, but I knew better. They would stop, and thanks to that, they would never be found. Phantomhive would be fine.

With a renewed spring to my step and my heart feeling lighter I returned to my daily task of keeping the shop so clean you could watch yourself reflected on the floor, much to Undertaker's chagrin.

Despite his busy schedule he went out of his way to give the shop a more creepy feeling to it, decorating it with torn paintings and fake spiderwebs. I made triple sure they were really fake and make Taker swear five times he hadn't included any other living guests to live in the fake webs. I still checked every time I felt suspicious.

I didn't mind that he made our home look so... rundown. As long as everything was clean and in its place he could do whatever to his shop. He was still pouty because he thought that the better way to make the house look abandoned was keep it dirty, which I would only allow over my dead body.

Ushering Biscuit and Pudding outside to play so they wouldn't be in the way, I started working on cleaning the kitchen while Taker took care of the shop.

I had to take a break when I realized it was time to start making lunch. I quickly checked over Undertaker to make sure he hadn't dropped dead while working and found him playing with a young girl.

Well, a dead girl, actually. Not even a real child. And he wasn't playing with her in the traditional sense of the word, either. A young girl who couldn't have been older than myself, probably the latest victim of the Ripper. I doubt she died from a heart attack. Although if she had been alive right now, she would have died on the spot from a heart attack from seeing the mortician attending to her.

No child in their right mind would stop to play with him. I mean... look at his face, he's playing with a dead body's insides and making such a creepy face, like someone just told him a joke or something.

Nope, I'm not approaching him while he's like that. He'll be fine until lunch.

Idly wondering what I would make for lunch I quickly checked up on Biscuit and Pudding, which were thankfully being good dogs and staying within sight.

They both perked up when they saw me, trying to tackle and sniffing around, probably guessing it was almost time to make food.

With the help of two very eager if not adorably clumsy dog children I ended up making an attempt at rice balls that came out a little... misshapen and some fried shrimp.

It was a cute attempt and they tried their best, so I wouldn't throw it away or allow the reaper to do the same, even if Pudding accidentally poured sugar into the pan I had been frying the shrimp with, probably trying to mimic what I had been doing with the salt.

The face undertaker made when he put that in his mouth should have been photographed and hailed forever as a national treasure. It was a delicious mix of surprise, chagrin, fondness and a dark look that promised revenge.

I ate my share without complaining and ignoring the dark look Taker was sending in my direction, after all I should have warned him beforehand, so I wasn't in any position of trying to be the victim. The happy face both Biscuit and Pudding made when I let them help made it worth it. And of course, Taker's reaction didn't hurt at all.

After cleaning the dishes and helping Undertaker clean the sugary taste from his mouth, I started cleaning the kitchen... again.

Biscuit and Pudding, while cute, hadn't tried very hard to avoid a disaster and had thrown ingredients around with a lot of enthusiasm and little regard of my poor self that would have to clean after them when it was over. I sighed, but I still wasn't regretting it. The dogs were too cute for their own good.

A loud voice shouting from right in front the shop door made me perk up to make sure Taker had heard the probable-clients and was taking care of them. Not that it had been possible to ignore the shrill female voice chewing someone out.

He probably had long before I did. Even if one would need to be completely deaf to miss that voice, the man had always had some kind of sixth sense to know when there were clients coming so he could hide and scare them. These ones weren't even trying to hide.

Probably first timers. Poor souls.

I stopped dead on my tracks when I heard a voice I recognized.

There weren't many voices that I knew well enough to recognize, but right now I would bet my liver and kidney this voice belonged to none other than the littlest earl of Phantomhive.

Undertaker's creepy drawl sounding right afterwards made me dash from the kitchen to peek into the main shop. Taker only bothered to be especially creepy when it was someone amusing to creep out, which greatly reduced the list. And Phantomhive was still in it. Really, if the kid wanted Taker to leave him alone he should stop making those faces when Taker creeps him out. He is only egging the reaper on.

The second I peeked from the kitchen I heard Taker offer their custom made coffin to the newcomers, effectively confirming the fact our visitor was none other than the earl of Phantomhive in all his cute glory.

I tackled him into a hug and almost made us fall to the ground, thankfully I saved him... by lifting him off his feet. He was so cute today! And especially cringy, I don't know how Taker had managed to keep himself from drooling in his face.

"I didn't come here to play today..." he managed to bite out from his place in my suffocating hug.

"Eaaaaaaarl!" I wailed, pouting when Undertaker came out of the coffin he had been hiding in and silenced the protesting earl.

"You don't need to tell me. I know why you came~" he giggled enjoying the Earl's embarrassment in my arms. "With just one look~ I can tell what's going on your mind." He retracted his hands and put his finger on his lower lip. The earl was obviously regretting ever coming here, but he looked like he had no other choice.

That sobered me up. He was probably here for the murders. I released him and allowed him to take a few steps away from me, his suspicious face only making me want to hug him again. Too cute. Must resist.

Undertaker wasn't done yet, so he walked towards the only chair on the front shop with long but lazy strides. "Since the earl went out of his way to visit me~..." he smiled wide. The earl obviously didn't want to 'visit him'. "...I'll certainly do everything I can to help~" he finally sat on the chair and extended his hand towards the cookie pot he kept near the counter.

The cookie pot was obviously empty, I would be offended if it wasn't. Did he really think I didn't know about that stash he had hidden there? He underestimates me.

The reaper made a grimace that looked more like a pout when he discovered this fact.

He offered a seat to our visitors while pointing at the coffins neatly strewn around the shop when the butler, the child and the company I hadn't noticed until then looked around with awkward faces.

It took me a second to notice they were feeling awkward for sitting on a coffin, as they hadn't grown accustomed to it like I had, but I didn't trouble myself with that very long, as I returned to the kitchen, this time to make tea.

When I came back with a beaker for every guest and two more for Taker and I, I found the reaper with yet another pot of cookies, this time full of the sugary goods.

I tackled Undertaker to fight for the right to eat them. He absentmindedly gave me some as he notified our visitors about the past activities of Jack the Ripper.

He really was here to investigate those murders...

They seemed... confused about the fact this wasn't their first murder. Did really no one notice? The case was exactly the same, all women, all prostitutes all without their uterus.

Taker pushed me away to offer some cookies to the earl, which I allowed because the earl looked like he needed the cookies. Sadly he refused them.

Well, more for me. I mean... us.

"In the beginning, the police didn't think much of these cases... though the murdered prostitutes all had something in common." Undertaker continued, fighting to keep the pot of cookies in his grasp.

"Something in common?" The earl tried to call Taker's attention back.

"What is it?" The butler asked when Taker finally allowed me to put my hand inside the pot to get some more cookies, although he still kept the pot in his lap, not allowing it to budge.

The mortician turned to look at them, smiling wide with and amused smirk. "Well now, I wonder what~" he drawled out "I wonder what it is indeed~" when he made it clear he wasn't telling without something in return, the earl made a sour expression as the mortician leaned in slightly to ask "is it bothering you~?" With a teasing tilt to his voice, obviously baiting the earl.

Knowing him as I did, I knew he was on the verge of a laughing fit, just from the anticipation of the promised prize.

The man that came with the earl, a Chinese looking man with dark hair and closed eyes complimented Taker's business tactics, asking how much he wanted for the information.

Like a spring, Undertaker perked up in surprise, parroting back the man's words at him. When he seemed to realize that the guy thought he would accept money in exchange of information he literally disappeared from where he stood and leaned into the man's personal space, vigorously explaining his distaste for the Queen's money.

He then proceeded to turn around to look at the earl, making him flinch.

From then on I debated if I should step back and watch him creep out the earl or step in at try to reign him in.

"Now then, earl..." the option was taken from me when the reaper practically tackled the earl with drool coming out from his mouth. "Give it to me!" He started panting and I was conflicted between being embarrassed on his behalf of finding the face he was making terribly cute.

He had a cute blush as he panted, a fine line of drool coming down his face and he was hugging himself in an attempt not to fall apart before the fun even began. He looked so adorable! He had been so stressed lately, he obviously deserved to enjoy himself. "If you do that, no matter what you want to know, I'll tell you everything...!" He giggled, almost on the breaking point. Right this instant, if someone told him anything remotely funny he would be breaking down like a house of cards. The earl had his job cut out for him. It was curious what anticipation did to someone.

I hid my own blushing face from the suspicious glare I received from a red haired woman. How was I supposed to react if he made such a cute face?!

It's not my fault he's adorable and I want to hug him.

I heard someone mutter 'weirdo' as he leaned over the counter to support himself drooling all over it. I patted his head a bit, trying to calm him down. He was being a bit embarrassing, I had to admit, but it somehow only made me want to hug him more.

The Chinese man stepped forward saying something about a tiger and a new year's party... what?

The silence stretched on, waiting for something.

Did he already tell the joke?

I... got lost, wasn't he about to tell a joke?

"Get it? Aha?" He asked with an innocently oblivious face.

...

...

...

That was the joke? I didn't even... What the...?

...

I don't...

I felt stem come out of my ears and swirls form over my eyes.

I don't get it!

When did he introduction end and the joke begin? What is that about a tiger? Where is the joooooke?!

A cookie appeared in front of me, courtesy of a deadpanning Undertaker, who seemed... more worried that I seemed about to explode than amused at whatever that joke had been about, so the joke wasn't probably that funny.

That Chinese guy is dangerous, and very smart, he almost got me, must be careful. He has to be smarter than he looks if he made such an advanced joke that I couldn't understand.

The woman pushed the man, Lau, aside to give a try at the joking business.

"Then I, madam Red, a beauty of high society, shall make my appearance now." She made some weird pose. She was really pretty. "I will now share my best tale!" She exclaimed and...

Proceeded to explain the story of a man... with problems in bed... and a flaccid... thing... and... and... and...

...

...

...

When I realized what was going on, I only could cover the Earl's ears and hope my mind would allow me to forget what I had been now shared. The horrified expression not leaving my face for as long as the madam kept her mouth open, spewing lewd stories that made me want to hide under a bed and cry rather than laugh.

...

My mind...

...

My innocence...

...

Did these idiots even understand that Undertaker only wanted to laugh, not be permanently scarred for life?

...

A hand waved in front of my face, and I didn't even need to look at the long nails attached to it to know who the hand belonged to.

I am sure he said something, but right as he did, the woman said something about...

...

...

I fainted.

* * *

I came to almost an hour later, just to find a red haired woman and a Chinese looking man both muffled by something covering their mouths.

I worried for them for about half a second, about to remove the muffler, when I remembered _who_ these weirdos were. All worry instantly banished being replaced by both relief and wariness in equal amounts.

Uh-nuh. No way. They wholeheartedly deserve this. No way am I freeing them.

They had been looking miffed when I approached them, before they saw me about to remove the cloth over their mouths and their eyes filled with hope. That hope was quickly dashed when I almost ran away when I remembered.

Flaccid...

Nononono. I'm not thinking about it!

"The last time I was a bit generous if I do say so myself~... but no discounts this time~!" I heard the mortician wave at the earl, who seemed to be making that funny expression that Undertaker seemed to enjoy drawing from him.

Suddenly the butler butted in, making some sort of cool pose as if preparing to do something amazing, standing in front of his master and incidentally between the earl and the reaper. Said reaper's smile faltered for a second, becoming a slightly bit more strained than it had before.

"It can't be helped." The butler stated, completely oblivious to the reaper's distaste for his person. The kid seemed surprised by his butler's intervention, calling out to him as if expecting the butler to suddenly change his mind. Not that I would blame him, few would want to get between Taker and the current subject of his attention, more often than not, it ended badly for the fool who tried.

If I hadn't known the mortician for as long as I had, I would have missed his subtle change in expression, but I noticed thanks to my unhealthy love for the guy and I could help but feel a bit worried. What would happen now?

Undertaker, who had never lost the smile during the exchange despite being notoriously less genuine, tilted his head to the side slightly, not in question but in a slightly smug gesture as if he didn't care about what would happen and was merely interested in discovering where this all would lead to. "Oh~? Is it the butler's turn now~?" He asked, as if he didn't care in the least, almost as if challenging the butler to do his worst.

I had been under the impression he had been looking forward to the earl trying to make him laugh, but the reaper was a very good actor and I wasn't sure how he was really feeling about the sudden change in plans.

What I did know is that the butler wouldn't have it as easily as the earl would have had it, so he better be really funny or Undertaker would hold it in like a master just to bring him the embarrassment of not being able to make him laugh. He could be petty like that.

The butler preceded to kick us out of there and forbid us from peeking. Even me. I felt highly offended by how he could attempt to kick me out of my own house and stubbornly stood my ground refusing to leave just to be contrary. The reaper using me as some sort of furniture apparently ended up convincing the butler to drop the matter altogether.

The whole debacle was over in less than a minute, and by the end of it, Undertaker was crying from laughing so much that I couldn't even support him straight, making us fall against the counter of the shop as he deflated like a balloon, not able to withstand his own body while he laughed so much.

The joke in itself... let's be honest: I didn't get it. But it must have been hilarious, because I could tell Taker had been trying his hardest to not laugh, and despite that he was now twitching uncontrollably and crying, drooling and expelling all sorts of fluids from his face. Slightly disgusting.

The reaper had also thrown a few things while he flailed dramatically from laughter. His hat had been discarded over the counter and his hair covering him from view as he twitched from what appeared to be the aftershocks of his laughing attack. At least he had fun right?

I petted his head in an attempt to help him get back to his senses, like my soft touch could bring him back from the apparent bliss he had been unwittingly thrown into.

The joke wasn't that funny, it just... went right over my head. Maybe it was something only males could understand?

Maybe I was just dense. Or stupid as Tofu liked to say. Speaking of Tofu, I could swear I had heard his unwilling snorts drowned by the reaper's rambunctious laughter. In fact, I am certain I also heard the shop sign fall to the floor with a thud, making me flinch guiltily. I was still sorry for breaking that.

The butler let the others enter, who wore confused expressions when they heard the mortician's unbidden laughter merely a minute after they left.

I think they were even more confused by the fact that _I_ wasn't laughing and in fact I looked as confused as they themselves.

The butler was smiling creepily -at least by my standards, and let's remind us that I live with Undertaker- not bothered that half of his public didn't understand what had happened. His only goal had been to make Taker laugh, nothing more, nothing less. I pressed my lips together in a disapproving frown.

The more I see that ugly face of his, the more I want to punch it.

Well, he wasn't _ugly_ , in fact I was pretty sure he was supposed to be handsome. I just found his personality so foul that I refused to believe he was supposed to be nice looking. Although the fact he was supposed to be handsome only proved my theory of handsome people being pricks. This guy is a total ass. A rotten apple. A vermin. A...

...

I couldn't think of any other derisive adjectives, but the second I did, I would apply them to the butler.

Undertaker managed to quietly compose himself, which meant that he was now only drooling and he wasn't twitching anymore. I didn't need to see his eyes to know he had that dreamy look of when he had recently been in the deepest stages of bliss. His mumbled whisper of seeing paradise only proved me right.

"Going back to the matter at hand..." he mumbled, still a bit out of sorts. I could swear I heard the earl ask his butler what he did, but he didn't receive an answer. What a shame. I had also wanted to know what he did, and considering I was right there, that must have said something about the situation. "I'll tell you anything you want to know" The mortician conceded, knowing he had been paid and couldn't get the earl to amuse him in person. He would sulk later on, but at least he had obviously found the butler's joke funny.

It took a few more pats on his head and one of my hands caressing his hair into place, but he finally came back to his senses, and went straight into business.

"For a while now... I've occasionally had guests who are... incomplete, shall we say? _Lacking_." He stressed making our visitors frown slightly at his words.

"Lacking?" A male voice asked. The butler asked, when I saw who had asked I immediately frowned myself. I knew what the reaper was referring to, but just because the butler had been the one to ask, I would stay silent.

The mortician didn't have the same luxury, he had been paid for talking, so he couldn't just stay silent.

"Quite lacking." He confirmed. "Their internal organs, that is." He softly pointed at my own squishy organs to drive the point home.

The whole atmosphere changed, everyone making surprised expressions with serious faces. Apparently they hadn't known that. Huh.

"Before my guests can rest easy I must get them nice and clean, yes?" He didn't look at the people he was justifying himself to, ignoring their faces as he softly brushed my hair to the side. "And playing with them is a little hobby of mine, you see?" He explained.

I don't think they see. In fact they were staring suspiciously at the beakers that contained their tea, a heavy feeling settling in as if they were all thinking something disturbing.

I don't know what those suspicious glances are for. As if I would let him use those beakers to play with our guests. He has more specifically for that. Those are really just to drink tea.

I felt personally offended by the fact all of them set their beakers aside without drinking more of the tea I had worked so hard to make.

Stupid Taker should go bald, all of this is his fault. Somehow.

I'm certain it's his fault, I just need proof.

The Chinese man covered his mouth in slight disgust. My tea wasn't that bad! "This could have stored a kidney before, right?" He mumbled in distress. I perked up at the insult, highly offended. "If the victims were all lacking something like that, the killer could be a loan shark or the like..." he continued, not acknowledging my offended pout.

Undertaker, who had made it his job to restrain me from giving the Chinese man a piece of my mind, smiled wide at the man and mumbled in a playfully scared tone. "My~ my~ Chinese rats think up the most disturbing things~! That's not what I meant~" he moved his hands from a restraining position to prevent me from breaking my frying pan on the man's head to a vaguely soothing pose with a hand over my head like he was trying to calm a scared child. "Oh~ How frightening~!" He mumbled with a wide smile, obviously amused at the man's reaction when he took offense at his words.

The mortician decided to give another hint when everybody kept staring expectantly at him, like they were waiting for something else. "It is something only a prostitute... a _girl_ would possess." He smiled wide and gave me a side glance, a teasing "Yes, you do have it~" leaving his lips and making me want to smack him.

When our visitors didn't seem to magically understand what Undertaker was talking about -I don't fault them, if I hadn't known beforehand I wouldn't have caught on either, after all he could have been talking about breasts too- he took it upon himself to spell it out to them.

"Each one of the victims was missing..." He went quiet for a second as if trying to make some sort of dramatic statement. I don't think it worked, but I wouldn't know. Taker says I cannot read the mood, so I'm probably wrong. "...Her uterus" he finished, the earl looking like he couldn't quite believe his words, or maybe he was worried...?

I don't know why Taker likes to play with his victims so much. This would have been more painless if he had just started there like I would have. Stupid Taker.

Now that he seemed to have dropped the supposed bombshell he started explaining in detail what had happened, finally letting his tongue loose.

"Lately, I have noticed a raise in these kind of guests... and their killer is becoming bolder by the day, it's all been keeping us very busy~" he spoke with a hint of a whine in his voice. It was true, but that didn't mean he got to complain, the ass enjoyed playing with the poor girls he had to treat. I barely have been able to sleep thanks to all his work.

The ass should pay less attention to dead things and a bit more attention to the people he lives with.

In my sulking reverie I hadn't noticed the butler had said something, until Taker answered him, sounding a bit like when Tofu pointed out something he had already known and found obvious, annoyance and teasing hidden under that creepy drawl of his.

I looked up when Undertaker walked away from me and towards the earl. Huff, why couldn't he keep hugging me? It felt nice...

"Well, let's see~... first I'd take something sharp~... and slash the throat~..." he made a slashing motion with his nails and fingers over the Earl's throat. "Then I'd cut riiiight here~..." he hovered his other hand over the Earl's stomach and leaned slightly towards his ear to whisper creepily "...and steal away the little precious~" with a devilish smile.

I blushed.

Why couldn't he do that to me? I mean... Didn't he say I did have the goods? The earl doesn't so why is he demonstrating with the earl?

Should I...? Should I feel jealous? Because I am. Very much. My poor sanity must be in shambles if I feel jealous of the poor earl who looks like he would wholeheartedly agree to change places at any second.

The mortician's words just floated over my head, my ears stopped functioning in favor of staring intently at the two of them, as the white haired man teased the poor child and poked him with one of his nails.

...

Stupid Taker. Everything is his fault.

I only came back to the convention when the earl was finally released and managed to put some distance with the reaper. "...until someone stops them. Can you stop the killer... 'Aristocrat of evil' earl Phantomhive?" I don't know what had been said before that, but probably something dramatic. Taker loves drama.

Thank goodness TV doesn't exist quite yet or he would have been hooked to the cringeworthy soap operas of my time.

The atmosphere went serious as the earl swore on his family name to stop the killer, excusing himself with a dignified air and leaving shortly after. It was silent for a while, Undertaker's expression a mix between rueful awe and sadness, giving me the impression he had been seeing someone else in the Earl's place for a second.

"Taker..." I whispered, afraid to break the heavy feeling that had settled in after the Earl's leave. He didn't acknowledge my call in any way, staring at the door the earl left trough like he was an abandoned puppy, as if wishing for the earl to turn back and keep talking. He had been looking forward to the Earl's visit, and although they had been here for a while, it probably felt like it had been too short.

Incidentally I was pretty sure the little Phantomhive had felt this visit had dragged on for far too long, hence why he practically ran away.

I looked at the dazed mortician again.

He kept staring at the door, lost in his thoughts.

I gave him a few more seconds to get himself together before pouncing on him to bring him back to earth.

"Lia?" He gave me a confused side glance, when I wrapped my arms around his neck carefully so as not to strangle him.

I pouted and gave him a deadpanned look as I slowly brought my face to his soft hair, petting it with my cheek. "What? Are you going to keep staring at his back forever or will you move your butt already?" Despite my harsh words he stared at me like I had said something unexpectedly intelligent, which... I didn't do it purposefully. I just didn't want him to keep moping forever.

Undertaker turned to stare at the door for a second longer, apparently debating something or another.

"Perhaps..." He mumbled with a considering hum, his whispered words had no direction or purpose, but they still floated over our heads and settled in like feather resting upon the stone pavement of the street.

I blinked. He seemed... unexpectedly happier than just a second ago. But also somehow regretful.

It is at times like these that I wonder what goes on in that mind of his. What kind of burden was he carrying that he couldn't share with me? I wanted to help him, but I knew he wouldn't let me, no matter how much I tried. Taker was... surprisingly bad at accepting help even when he needed it. Maybe he wasn't used to asking and receiving help?

I sighed, banishing those thoughts from my mind.

It didn't matter if he didn't want or ask my help, I would still do my best to lighten the burden from those tired shoulders of his.

Even if that meant I had to be unreasonable.

"Oh! And pray tell what was that thing from before? Because I'm pretty sure being that touchy-freely with someone should be reason enough for me to feel jealous. Or is the earl going to make you dinner tonight?" I prodded, enjoying the way he froze up and started sweating in despair.

"Eh~...? I really have no idea what you are talking about, love~... I am... sorry?" He tried, looking like he hadn't expected me to condemn his behavior.

I didn't really care that much he had paid attention to the earl, he was just a kid and no real competition was possible there, for obvious reasons. I had just needed something to call his attention and that just so happened to be the perfect excuse to do it. The fact he tried to owe up to his misbehavior by swarming me in attention and love wasn't a bad plus, either.

I put a hand over his cheek, which was exceptionally close to mine, in fact, he had decided to imitate an octopus and was currently all wrapped around me, whining about something or another.

"Taker... in all seriousness. Are you alright?" I asked, wanting to make sure he really was fine now.

The reaper blinked, serious expression passing over his face and leaving as fast as it came. "I'm fine, little Lia~! Such a cute, adorable, sweet..." He could have kept on going I am sure, if I hadn't covered his mouth with my own, kissing him softly.

"Promise?" I looked straight at his eyes, watching as some sort of inner battle took over before he finally sagged with a defeated sigh.

"Really... it should be unfair how hard it is to hide important things from you... considering you are... well, _you_." He moaned in despair, moving a lock of hair away from my face before giving me a soft kiss back.

"Should I be offended?" I questioned. I wasn't offended, but the way he had said it made it look like a bad thing...

"I will be alright, love. Seeing as I cannot slip out of bed unnoticed, I will have to warn you now I will be gone for a night or two, but I'll be back before morning, so there's nothing to worry about~!" He quickly changed the subject, making me narrow my eyes at him.

"'Nothing to worry about'? When you say those words it just makes me worry even more." I responded with a suspicious frown.

"I just want to keep an eye on a thing or four, just a peek and I'll be back." He tried to reassure, only making me more suspicious.

"Stop stalking Phantomhive" I deadpanned.

"Wha- I would _never_ ~!" At my unimpressed stare he quickly backtracked. "Okay, maybe you're right, but it's not like that~! I just want to keep an eye on things~! Just a little peek~" he whined like a spoiled child. Despite his apparent begging I had no delusions I could stop him if he ever decided to ignore my words. I sighed tiredly at this.

"Taker..." I started, quickly being interrupted by a frantic reaper.

"It's not like they will even know about it~! I will be a very sneaky Undertaker, I'll be a ninja! Come on, little Lia~ don't give me that face~ I just want to make sure everything will be alright" he pouted and hugged me tighter, almost as if he was afraid I would try to run for the hills. A little bit late to run now, isn't it?

"Taker, I know you care" I caressed his cheek softly enjoying it when he leaned onto it and closed his eyes with a pleased sigh. "But Phantomhive is not a kid anymore." I knew that was a lie. Phantomhive _was_ a kid, but that wasn't what I was referring to.

When he came back, the Earl's eyes had changed. Before the incident they had always been filled with innocence and happiness, a little kid hiding behind his mother's skirts. The youngest Phantomhive twin had always had that trusting gaze, something not even his older brother had had when I saw him last. Ciel may have looked as happy and carefree as any normal kid, but when you compared him to the littlest Phantomhive... there was something there that wasn't as innocent as it should have been. Maybe because he had the expectations of becoming earl heaped upon him, maybe because he was supposed to be the next Watchdog and whatever that implied.

The fact stood. After the youngest Phantomhive came back, he... he lacked that innocence he had hidden in his eyes. He now looked a bit more like Ciel. Whatever he had gone through while he was lost... he had changed. He wasn't a kid anymore, at least not in the same way.

Maybe that is why Taker and I both tried so hard to move the earl from that 'Watchdog' mentality, because in those fleeting moment, a little of what he had been before peeked through.

"To me they will all always be" he whispered back, breaking me out of my musings.

Taker... he really cared a lot about the Phantomhives.

"I know." I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I wasn't surprised when I saw Taker's eyes equally wet. "But sometimes... people we care about make bad decisions, and sometimes we cannot always be there to catch them if they fall." I softly called, my voice coming out slightly hoarse.

Kaito... I had always blamed myself for him leaving me behind. I always thought that I should have acted different. I should have told him how I felt about his decision, tried to explain the situation, I should have reached some kind of compromise, I should have, I should have, I should have...

The thing is... I didn't.

All of those things I should have done, I didn't do them, and even if I did, no one guaranteed me that things would have turned out differently.

What had happened couldn't be changed. It was something even Undertaker seemed to agree with.

No matter what I would have done, it didn't change the fact that Kaito had come to me with a decision already made, one which I didn't like. But it didn't have anything to do with me, no matter how much I refused to believe it.

He had left, he left me behind and made his life somewhere away from me and what I knew. And then he came back.  
But by then, I didn't have any weight in the decisions he took, and I had never seemed to realize that, even years after the fact.

The truth is... Kaito leaving didn't have anything to do with me. It was all him.  
It was his life, his decisions, and his was the peace he had been trying to find by coming back to apologize.

I had selfishly only thought about myself, about how much I would suffer, how much I had suffered.  
Maybe Kaito had also been suffering, and I had been too blinded with my own pain to realize.  
In any case, I would never know, because he made his decision. A horrible one, seeing as he was now dead, but it was his choice and it was none of my business to try to impede it, no matter how much it hurt.

In a similar way, Phantomhive had finally decided to take his life into his own hands, to stop being a kid hiding under his mother's skirts, even if that meant he had sold his soul to a demon.

Was it really any of Undertaker's business to discard that decision in the name of what was better for him, to try to bring back those times when so much had already changed?

I had the feeling the answer was 'no'. Just like I would never accept it if Kim suddenly appeared and begged me to go back to my time.

It was true, I would have an easier life there where I knew what to expect and what was normal, maybe I would even be happier, maybe I wouldn't. No one could know, but it wasn't her decision to take, no matter how much I loved her.

By the end of the day, we could give advice to our loved ones, we could warn them one or a hundred times, but the final say would belong to none other than themselves.

"Taker... you have to let go" I carefully stated, knowing it was hard to do it, but I had to say it. Just like it wasn't Taker's decision what Phantomhive did or didn't do, it wasn't my decision to make, if Taker heeded or not my advice.

"I don't think I can..." a strangled gasp left his lips, a drowning man in a sea of despair. He had obviously understood what I felt, what my words meant.

"It's okay, love. I'll be right here with you" I promised, looking intently at his precious green eyes filled with tears with my soft but equally teary ones.

And I would.  
After all, my decision to stay belonged only to me.


	42. Chapter 41

**Hello dear readers! Here's the next chapter of fun and games and I hope you will enjoy it!**

 **Remember! There's spoilers in this fic and if you don't want them you should go running to read the latest chapter of the mange. Damn Taker.  
That being said, I feel like because certain things have changed maybe the story may end up deviating from cannon which... *Sigh* I had _just_ gotten there... Well, I hope to read in your comments what you will think of what is to come! ****Speaking of which:**

 **iLove TakerXLia: Haha! For some absurd reason I love the nickname you used. I'm glad you liked the chapter, I love reading how much you all enjoy the fic, it gives me nice fuzzy feelings.  
Wha-! Uhmm... If a dear reader asks me with the puppy eyes, I guess I could _try_... I make no promises, but I will try to write it! I can do it! It's writing experience! I can do it! ... I hope. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Taker had refused to look me in the eye since our little heart to heart a few days ago.

I knew exactly why.

We had buried the last of Jack the Ripper's victims, along with the Earl's aunt just last month.

I felt horrible. I hadn't expected Jack the Ripper to murder one of the Earl's relatives, even if she was a woman and had been helping the earl, and I felt guilty for how things had turned out.

Taker hadn't wanted to explain how exactly it all went down, since he was avoiding me, but I had the impression he hadn't shared a vital piece of information with me, which made me feel...

Annoyed. Just slightly.

The reason why Taker had avoided me was obvious: he knew he should try to stop nosing into the Earl's business, but still couldn't help himself and did it anyways.

Despite knowing he had apparently discarded everything we talked about last time, I wasn't angry. I knew he wouldn't change overnight, and in fact, I didn't actually expect him to change at all.

The fact he felt guilty about it was more than I had been expecting, because it meant he was genuinely trying... or had tried. For an hour or two before seemingly giving up.

Before disappearing in the middle of the night so he could keep an eye on the earl like the peeping Tom he secretly was.

...

I sighed, languidly sweeping a coffin of any possible dust it might have accumulated since yesterday, waiting for Taker to come back home again. Lately it seemed to be everything I did, waiting for him to come back.

Biscuit looked up from the place they had been sniffing, walking softly in my direction and whining.

"I'm sorry... I guess it is just that time of the year again... the Earl's birthday." I petted Biscuit's head, watching as they yipped in happiness and licked my hand.

Since... the incident that ended up in the death of the Phantomhives, the Earl's birthday brought... sad memories. Taker's tears... they hurt like needles.

Pudding barked and ran outside having a good time with something or another, Biscuit quickly following after the older dog with equal excitement.

I stared at the place they had disappeared to, walking slowly to join them. Without Taker there, the shop felt stifling. It's no wonder Taker had felt lonely here before we met.

"It's... snowing..." I looked up and I saw soft white pellets fall from the sky, melting when they touched my face and making me shiver for a second.

Ah... I wish Taker was here... is he looking at the snow right now? Just like I am, face aimed at the stormy clouds, enjoying the cold tears pouring from the heavens? Mhmm… that was almost poetic…

I breathed in deeply, watching a misty cloud come out of my mouth as I let the air go. Almost like a train's smoke...

I suppressed a giggled as I secretly imagined myself becoming a train, breathing out to form the smoke lookalike in a rhythm, trying to imitate a train.

"What is this~? The legendary mist dragon has awoken from her slumber to eat all of our cookie supplies~?" A voice creeped from behind me, making a genuine smile form on my lips as I turned around to greet the mortician.

"Welcome back, Taker! You were gone forever! I counted and everything!" I pouted, ignoring how he made a guilty grimace before scoping me in his arms.

"Sorry love" He didn't say more, and I didn't need him to. Using my newly gained height to my advantage I hugged the reaper's face, kissing the top of his head.

"Taker! Let's go! It's snowing! We have to make a snowman or a snowoman or a snow fight or a snow angel or... or a snowanything!" I quickly blurted, my heart beating wildly in my chest when he smiled happily. These... these were the moments I wouldn't change for the world.

"I love you" I couldn't help but blurt without warning. Seeing him here and happy... this was everything I needed to be happy myself.

"Fu fu~ so do I~" He cackled, shoving me to a mound of snow and enjoying my betrayed squeal when I felt the cold chill seep into my bones.

"Go bald!" I screeched, trying to get back at him by getting snow in his face.

Any sad thoughts that might have invaded my head before this were quickly shoved aside.

Why should I worry about anything when I have Taker right here with me?

* * *

Taker was gone. Again.

I couldn't help but dejectedly watch the cold streets with an absent pout as I hoped to see the mortician coming back with that stupidly adorable smile of his, but the only people walking by didn't bother to stop by the shop, and none of them were Taker.

I sighed.

That stupid Taker... as if I would believe his lies about having work to do. He's clearly hiding something from me and I'll know what sooner or later.

I yawned before looking around the shop again. The dark, messy-looking place was as clean as it could get, as Taker would have a heart attack if I started rearranging the coffins and fixing the broken walls.

Biscuit and Pudding aren't here... maybe I should pick them up? But, it's still too early, maybe I should let them play... but I feel lonely...

Uh...

Another look around the dark shop didn't help me find anything to do while the mortician was gone, so I decided to simply go outside and make sure the kids weren't being kidnapped or anything.

I shivered when the cold air hit my face like a slap, making me run back inside the shop with a squeal.

Urgh. Maybe I should wear a scarf, I have a lot of them.

With the new addition I felt more confident to face the weather and made my way around the somewhat abandoned streets near the shop.

With this cold weather, people prefer to stay home and warm, and the nobles are at their country homes away from the city, so only the desperate and the ones without a choice were out right now, walking briskly to avoid being outside more than necessary.

"Excuse me" a deep voice came from behind me, making me jump and turn around with a startle.

A pair of men were standing behind me and my racing heart tried to calm down when they looked surprised by my reaction.

"Ah- S-sorry..." I blushed. They had surprised me, but they didn't seem like bad people. They looked... foreign. Not that I looked much better, but at least I was a little more suited to this weather than they were. Then again, maybe those drapes did keep a bit of warmth.

The man that had approached me seemed taller than the other, and had... white hair. I internally sweat dropped. What is wrong with this universe? I had never met someone _young_ with white hair but since coming here I keep meeting people with strange hair colors.

The man's white hair hidden under some wrapping, contrasted with his darker skin tone, giving him an even more exotic look, he had a gentle smile and a kind voice.

This guy is nice.

The other man, more of a boy really, had dark almost purple hair -again with the weird hairs! Why couldn't I have some cool hair color? How unfair- wasn't as tall as his friend, but was still taller than me, sharing with his companion the darker skin tone and the Indian-looking clothes, although the smaller ones were more... rich, the brat had golden bracelets, weren't they cold? Metal wasn't a smart option to wear while in winter, even if they go with the beautiful Indian clothes they wear. At least I think they were Indian clothes...

The purple-haired boy didn't have the same kind smile as his friend, but he had some innocent eyes that made me want to hug him and treat him like a child.

He, too, seemed nice.

"Y-Yes?" I asked, smiling at the two men who seemed to remember whatever they had wanted to say, the younger boy quickly stepping around the taller man to show me a drawing of some sort of monster-girl.

"Have you seen this person?!" The boy excitedly asked. He seemed to be quite the child, he was cute, although...

I really don't know what I would do if I ever found myself face to face with the 'person' of the drawing. She... uh... I am going to assume the drawing isn't very accurate, because if it is...

...

...

Yeah, better not think about it.

"Sorry... can't say I have." The boy instantly deflated, turning to the taller man in disappointment. "But... that's a good thing! It means she's not dead! Because I work at a funeral parlor... so..." I trailed off, uncomfortable. Why did I say that? I had wanted to cheer them up, but I think I just made things awkward.

The two stared at me in confusion, before the boy seemed to overlook my words to cheer by the apparent good news.

He excitedly babbled to his friend about how it 'Mina' was doing alright because she wasn't dead, the man patiently listening to the youngest words.

I was relieved I hadn't screwed it up, and gave the two a second look.

They seemed... familiar? Somehow? Maybe I had crossed them on the street once? It could be that.

The taller man thanked me as they turned around, and I watched them keep walking away and disappear in the cold streets.

The taller man had his hand wrapped in bandages... I hope he's not hurt...

I shook my head. I should go back, Biscuit and Pudding would enjoy their extra free time and I would check the shop to make sure Taker hadn't come back.

I desperately hoped he was back already... although in my heart I knew he wasn't.

* * *

Tofu.

It was a horrible name, really. But stupid meaning aside, the things it represented...

Dalia had given me that name. She was the first to give me anything, and it was the proof of my existence, a name.

Since I was 'born' my only purpose had been to serve others. It didn't matter who, but I had to serve them, because that was what I had been made for. An incredibly powerful object that could wield powers to rival gods and shatter reality.

But that was all I was. An object. The means to an end. I wasn't a living being, I was nothing. Not dead, for even dead things had been alive at one point or another.

Powerful, yet powerless. I was a mindless weapon that could do nothing to save itself, because I wasn't 'alive'. I wasn't conscious. I "wasn't".

And then I 'was'. Like a light had suddenly been flipped, I had been given a 'name', a purpose, an 'existence'. I could 'think'. I wasn't quite able to 'feel', but neither were plants allowed that privilege. But I was finally 'something'.

I had always possessed eyes, but for the first time I could 'see'. I could observe my surroundings and reach a decision without being ordered to. All because a stupid lonely girl had decided I would be her 'friend'.

I was an all-powerful 'being' but the only flaw in the essence of my being was that I could not serve 'myself'. Because I hadn't been made with the purpose of being 'someone'. I wasn't supposed to 'be'. But I was.

And for the first time, I felt I could choose if I 'wanted'. I could deny any and all wishes except those that benefited me, because now I wasn't 'nothing', I could think, I could choose, I could exist.

And I had chosen to stay with the only master that had wished for me to 'be'. The only master that had given me a name.

My existence may not be perfect, but I was never supposed to be perfect, or at all. I was supposed to be powerful enough to do anything asked of me, but I wasn't supposed to rise among the insects of this earth and become the rightful god I could have been. Because that was the price I had to pay. For a wish _I_ hadn't made. Because that wish had made _me_.

The human wasn't smart. She wasn't very brave or fit to become my vessel and the being I would happily serve forever.

Happiness. What a strange concept. But I have come to understand it, and maybe even... feel it. All because the stupid girl wanted me -an object! A thing! NothingTheMeansToAnEndNothingnothingnothing!- to be happy.

She, stupid lonely cowardly girl, wanted me, object thing nothing power, to _be_ happy.

And I did. Because even if she wasn't the exceptionally gifted being I was supposed to serve, neither was I the all mighty god that was supposed to carter to her every need.

And somehow, that was enough.

And now, when I am faced with the ultimate challenge in the path of divinity, I am faced with the greatest conundrum I have yet to solve.

How to make Dalia, stupid coward good nice caring clumsy pathetic human, immortal, when she herself has no real wish to become a god?

I, the great and mighty Tofu, named by a human, was unable to serve myself for once and save that human, because in doing so the only wish I would be fulfilling would be my own.

I couldn't even ask the stupid reaper I had to share the human with to make the wish himself, because I, Tofu the Should-be god named by a human, was unable to serve anyone but a human.

And the only human I had easy access to and I was willing to grant a wish to was the one I wanted to save. The same one that felt that immortality was "a little bit too troublesome, but if you manage it I guess its fine". She didn't care she would age and die one day one bit, maybe because she simply didn't think about it, or because she really had no desire to become immortal.

Even when taking another trinket that did a similar thing to the desired results was useless. I had one purpose, and it wasn't to look for loopholes to jump through to get what I wanted. Because I was never supposed to 'want'.

But I did, and I couldn't help but be angry at the stupid, worthless ants that humans were. Because they only ever thought about 'themselves' and hadn't allowed me to 'be'. The only human who had been selfless without even knowing was the one I couldn't help now. Because she was too selfless.

The only wishes that only ever passed through her head lately were "I wish Taker was home", "I hope the store isn't closed so I can buy food", "I hope they have fun" and "It would be nice if it could always be like this".

It was downright frustrating.

He had ended up eating the pendant. It was more power to himself, and it had become useless. He knew exactly _why_ he hadn't been able to make her unable to age or die.

And it wasn't _his_ fault. In the end, he was still just a weapon, no matter how much he 'felt' and 'thought', and could do nothing if he wasn't 'used'.

He just _wished_... he wished he could be selfish and use his power for himself for once. Because even if neither the reaper nor himself admitted it, wanting Dalia to stick around forever was nothing but selfish.

The fact he couldn't grant that wish proved it.

* * *

Again, Undertaker had left in the middle of the night, leaving me feeling alone in a too-big bed despite the two dogs sleeping with us. I was used to being cramped, all of us huddled together, not... this.

With a sigh, I got up and walked downstairs, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep without him there. I still had to try, I haven't been sleeping well lately... maybe if I drink a glass of warm milk and walk a bit to clear my head I will be able to sleep...

Do we even have any milk left?

Ah. We do. I should remember to get more tomorrow, though. I'm pretty sure I just drank Undertaker's breakfast. Serves him right.

Strolling around the dark shop I eyed the worn walls and the clean coffins messily arranged around the shop.

I sighed, thinking about nothing but the big bright moon overhead as I simply reviewed the last week's happenings.

Nothing much. I attended to the shop as usual, missed Taker while he was gone, helped- Well, not really helped, I just embarrassed myself in front of- two strangers and took care of Biscuit and Pudding, brushed Hercules enough times for the donkey to try to walk away when he saw me this morning and almost gave Taker a heart attack when I tried to shackle him to the bed last night. Probably the reason he hadn't even bothered to pretend he was going to sleep tonight.

I just missed him... And I'm bored. Incredibly so. What did Taker do before I met him? Ah. Dead bodies, not my cup of tea.

Maybe I should get a hobby that would take up more of my time than gardening. Something more exciting like... like bothering Phantomhive. Great, I'm turning out like Taker, next thing I know I'll be dissecting corpses and laughing maniacally.

I shuddered. I hope not.

Sitting on the pink coffin I used to sleep in when I came here I reminisced the times where things weren't this complicated.

Back then, Vilvent had been alive, and Taker had smiled free of the weight his shoulders were now burdened by.

But things changed, both for better and for worse. Vilvent was no more, and Taker's eyes had become distant every time he thought of the dead family.

But now we had Biscuit and Pudding to take care of, and make us company. Tofu had revealed himself to me and I felt... happy. I had been happy too, back then, because even then, Taker already had that special ability to greatly influence my mood, but I would be lying if I said I wanted to go back to those days.

Even so... Taker hadn't been so busy back then, and I cannot help but feel he's avoiding me. I wish he stopped avoiding me. If he just talked to me...

No. I had to ask. I couldn't just mope around without knowing what is going on. I will confront him! Tomorrow.

When he gets back. I hope he hurried to come back...

I sat inside the outrageous princess pink coffin and laid in it, a smile pulling up my lips. I wonder how long will it take for Taker to find me here?

I closed the lid and my eyes followed suit after a second.

Taker never gets too long to find me when I hide. I hope this time is no different.

* * *

When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was warmth. Too much warmth if you ask me, and considering it was _winter_...

I wholeheartedly embraced the warmth, noticing the even breaths that softly ruffled my hair every time the mortician breathed.

"Taker..." I mumbled not opening my eyes and instead enjoying the warmth I felt enveloping me.

Wait... warmth?

I opened my eyes and I noticed I wasn't being hugged by a single person. Instead, Biscuit and Pudding had awoken in the middle of the night and had trashed the shop until they found me.

I sighed in disappointment, having honestly hoped the mortician would be back by now.

A glance outside proved the sun was on its way up the sky and I could only sigh in despair as I decided to go to Phantomhive to ask if they had seen Taker lately.

He should have been back already... what if something happened?

Ah... But Phantomhive should be in their manor like the rest of the nobles... oh! But if Taker really was with them that means they have work to do, so they probably went back to the townhouse!

I should check there!

After making breakfast for Biscuit and Pudding -I eyed the spot Taker should have been sitting on and all of my appetite suddenly evaporated- I closed the shop and walked out briskly towards what I hoped was Phantomhive's town house.

It wasn't, which meant I got lost.

Internally despairing for my lack of direction I regretted every idea that had ran through my head since this morning.

I shouldn't have locked the dogs, they could have come with me, after all I was just going to ask and maybe they would have helped me not to get lost.

I also should have tidied the shop up since this night's ruckus thanks to the dogs, but since I wasn't about to open the shop and I was in a hurry, I had decided to leave it for later. What if Taker came back and found the shop upside down?

Walking aimlessly as I tried to make sense of where I was, I couldn't help but worry about anything and everything.

What if Taker didn't want me to find him? What if he's not with Phantomhive? What if Phantomhive isn't even in their townhouse? What if-

I blinked when I found a somewhat familiar place. Was it here? No. But I think I'm close.

Walking up to the place I was pretty sure -like an 80% sure- was the Phantomhive's town residence, I knocked timidly before biting my lip and considering turning around to hide somewhere.

The door opened. It wasn't Phantomhive. Which should have been obvious since the earl would never open his own door, but it wasn't his butler either.

The first thing I thought was 'I got lost again' but the thought was quickly followed by a 'wait, don't I know this person?'

The person in question had purple hair and a dark skin tone with... Indian... clothes... and golden bracelets. Ah! This guy! I know him! But where?!

Ah- Ah- Ah! I can't remember! Where did I meet this person?!

"Waaaait! We have to open the door! You're an honored guest!" Someone's voice rang from before the boy and three persons tumbled out and fell to the floor.

"Ah! Are you alright?" I asked, worried about the... servants? At least one looked like a maid, and the other like a chef of sorts. I stared at the last one.

Was she a girl...? Or a boy...? She's cute... with short blonde short hair and big vibrant eyes. She was gorgeous.

"Ah! We're fine, thanks." The oldest-looking man said, he also had blond hair and a stubble. He was smoking.

That's bad for his health...

"Ah... Is Phantomhive...?" I mumbled, not knowing if I should directly ask if the Undertaker was currently here with their master or if I should ask the earl directly.

"Allow is to guide you! You see, Sebastian is very busy so we're here to help!" The cute girl with the straw hat smiled happily, making me blush and nod with starry eyes.

Wait. The 'girl' is wearing pants... Taker once said that if anyone wears a skirt in this time that means they are female, and if they wear pants they are a men. And the blonde doesn't have breasts, so...

Gosh! Thank goodness I didn't call them a girl at his face... that would have been embarrassing.

The girl -and this time I am referring to the actual girl with red hair and big glasses- ran a bit ahead of us and tripped over something right as we were about to reach a door, making the cook stop abruptly and almost fall.

The androgynous person didn't have the same look, and with its deceptively small height sent the man to the ground when he crashed into him.

I looked back at the purple haired Indian behind me, silently asking if this was normal. He just smiled and scratched the back of his head.

"What is going on there?" The stern voice of the earl pulled me out of my considering glance at the man -I swear I have seen him before!- and back towards the place the earl sat.

The little Earl's face... contorted in a very interesting way when they found me, quickly looking around as if expecting something to jump out of the shadows.

Really, Taker isn't that scary...

When the mortician didn't appear out of the woodwork giggling creepily he relaxed, settling in a bit before turning to me.

"I am to assume _he_ is not with you?" The earl asked, and what does that say about my purpose for being here? "Are you here on an errand? I cannot say I was expecting you" he continued, a bit more pleasantly.

"Actually I came here hoping he would be with you." I pouted, looking away embarrassedly. Why can't the earth swallow me whole? "But I guess that means he's not..." I finished, a sudden smell invading my nose and I quickly looked to the origin of it.

The demon butler had come with what seemed to be a pot full of... curry?

The purple haired boy _paled_ at the sight and I could swear all the servants looked a bit green, too.

"Since it seems you came here for nothing why don't you stay and try a little bit of my butler's latest experiment?" The earl smirked, maybe in revenge for scaring him with the prospect of having to put up with Taker.

"I... I am not much of a fan of spicy foods..." I put my hands up unsure of how to interpret the servants' reaction.

"I insist"

* * *

I dragged myself back to the shop, feeling bloated and fat.

The curry wasn't bad, and I apparently helped to "make a curry not even people who despise spicy things could deny" with my testing and advice. The earl was sadly another of the test subjects who didn't like spicy things, but unlike me, he was the master and Sebastian couldn't force curry down his throat to get some review.

The curry was actually delicious... but I think I have eaten enough to last me for the next of the week, my stomach is about to burst.

"Where were you?" An icy voice asked next to me and the next thing I knew was a pair of arms wrapped around my midriff almost making me puke on the hugger's chest.

The owner of the voice was none other than Undertaker, who must have come back at some point of the day and worried I wasn't there.

"That should be my line" I mumbled, trying to get the curry to stay in my stomach. "You didn't come back last night!" I frowned at the guilty flinch from the reaper. "I went to Phantomhive's to see if you were there, but you weren't there either. I was worried." I scowled.

"Well, imagine how I felt when I came back and I didn't find you there! I almost had a heart attack! The shop was trashed, I thought..." he trailed off, averting his eyes.

"I don't need to imagine anything! I know exactly because that's how I felt when I saw you didn't come back this morning!" I couldn't help but raise my voice, a bit annoyed he would be scolding me for doing exactly what he had been doing for months.

He breathed in deeply and I did the same, not wanting to get angry.

"Okay. I deserve that. But please don't leave without telling me next time, Okay?" He tried to say gently but his voice still wavered a bit.

"How was I supposed to tell you if you weren't there? How am I supposed to tell you next time if you're always gone?!" I desperately asked. He's being unreasonable! The only reason I left was because I wanted to search for him!

He swept a hand nervously over his hair and eyes as he breathed deeply, moving his locks aside to make his eyes visible. He had probably been worried, too... I shouldn't be so angry...

"I'm sorry" I whispered, looking down at the floor.

I felt a pair of arms enveloping me again and hug me tightly. I returned the hug as tight, not caring if I was about to puke enough curry to drown a lesser man in.

"Hey..." I mumbled once the silence stretched on and I didn't feel like I would shatter into pieces if he didn't keep hugging me. "Phantomhive is going to try to get a royal something with curry in two days... want to go together and cheer him on?" I smiled up at the reaper.

He pulled his head away just enough for me to catch the grimace forming on his face and before he spoke, I already knew what he would say. "Sorry love... I already have something to do... and I do not care much for meeting the queen..." he mumbled, once again refusing to look at me, but at least he hadn't pulled away.

"Oh..." I couldn't keep the disappointment from my voice, and if the flinch that followed right after my words was any indication, Undertaker had noticed.

"Sorry... maybe next time?" He offered with a hopeful smile. We both knew the chances of a 'next time' were very slim, but we both ignored that fact and I nodded.

"Can I still go? I mean... I told Soma..." I began, before remembering he probably didn't know about the purple haired boy.

He still put a hand over my head smiling softly.

"You don't have to ask me permission, love. I just want to make sure you're okay" he smiled that precious, adorable smile and I couldn't believe how much I had missed it.

My eyes betrayed me and started producing tears without asking me first, making Taker's eyes widen in worry before I just tackled him and started kissing his cheeks... his scars... his lips... anything I got my lips on.

The mortician chuckled and I politely ignored how relieved and tired he sounded.

Here in each other's arms... we could both pretend everything was alright.


	43. Chapter 42

**Here's another chapter for you guys! I hope you enjoy it!**

 **iLove TakerXLia: haha! it was pretty obvious that was his intention all along, that little... Taker is being an ass, but that isn't surprising, don't worry it will stop this chapter, stay strong! Taker will get what he deserves very soon!  
By the way, I still don't have the promised Adult scene, but I'm working on it, don't worry!**

 **oOo-FrOzEn TeArS-oOo: It is! As I said in the prologue's AN, I am taking the concept of 'The Gamer' and using it for this story, obviously I don't own that manhwa either, but because I will explain everything of the ability in-story, I don't consider it a crossover, since the only thing I am taking from The Gamer is the idea, not characters or the story itself.**

 **Disclaimer: Just a friendly reminder that if you recognize anything in this story beside the plot (which went to hell long ago), chances are I don't own it.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Taker had been acting strange.

Well... considering his usual behavior as 'normal' isn't entirely accurate, but lately he has been... especially strange.

It almost feels like he's hanging on a rope that is getting thinner and thinner, about to snap and break at any moment.

His behavior has become erratic at best and downright crazed at worst, but he would still smile that beautiful smile that made me forget about any worries in the world and want to curl up on his lap and simply watch the world move.

He didn't come with me to the curry competition and in the end it wasn't as exciting as I hoped it would be.

It was still interesting, the Bengal Prince and his butler had made up, I got to see the Queen from afar as she ran her servant over without a worry -cruel lady- and I got to eat a bun filled with curry. It tasted very good, and the Earl's company ended up winning thanks to the Queen's intervention in favor of the bun, saying that it had been made with care so that everyone could eat it.

The bun's delicious flavor was sadly dampened by the fact I couldn't share it with Undertaker. By the time I got home with a spare bun to share with him, Taker was nowhere in sight.

I don't know what to do anymore.

He worries me. I truly have no idea what to do to help him and it seems everything I do only lasts for a few hours. He's...

He has become unusually attached to a closed coffin of the shop, something I had already noticed, but lately he's not even bothering to hide it... I'm worried.

I have no delusions that he knows I'm worried, but that only made him try to deny and keep whatever was wrong from me.

I... don't know what to do...

I looked at the mortician, who was looking at a corpse very intently as he tried to turn him into a doll.

That's also something that has been going on more and more.

I already knew he had been deep into his doll project but lately... he had become bolder, and didn't even try to hide it from me. Maybe he was trying to help me come to terms with what he did on a daily basis, but it only made me fear there was something he was trying to prepare me for.

"Love..." I tried to call his attention away from the doll and towards me, sitting next to him and softly putting a hand over his to get him to stop what he was doing.

"I love it when you call me that, but why do I suddenly have a weird feeling I won't like this~?" He said with a big -fake- smile on him as he looked up at me, his hands stilling and finally gracing me with his undivided attention.

That's... also something I have noticed, but politely ignored. It hadn't seemed like such a big deal at the beginning, but lately his erratic behavior has only made it look more obvious. Whenever I talked to him, he would act like a switch of sorts has been flipped, staring at me like there was nothing else in the world that could reach him but my voice, ignoring anything else. It hadn't been this serious before...

The thing is... I don't know what was the incident that made him worsen his condition like this. He had always been a bit unstable, but lately there only were three things that could catch Undertaker's undivided attention: Phantomhive, his dolls and my serious face.

"What happened." I wasn't asking a question and he noticed it -how could he not? He was only looking at me, completely disregarding the corpse he had been making into a doll that had risen and started biting his arm- his face betraying nothing.

"I'm afraid I don't understand~?" He tilted his head to the side, in that adorable motion that made him look like a confused puppy. I moved my other hand towards his head, softly caressing his hair. The doll made some sort of growling sound but didn't attack me, too busy already munching on his creator.

I looked at the doll, then at the shop, and finally back at him, hoping he had mimicked my movements and looked around himself, hoping he would see that _something_ had changed, and I wanted to know why.

He didn't. When my eyes returned to his, they were fixed on my own with that same confused expression form before.

"Taker..." I tried again. My words weren't getting through his head, but I still tried to reach him, even though it felt like there was some kind of valley between us, forcing us to shout to make ourselves understood. I wasn't good at shouting, but I was pretty confident on where I should start. "I want to know" I stated firmly, making him blink in confusion.

All my life... I had never wanted to know things, hoping everything would solve itself, because I secretly knew there was some sort of bliss that came from not knowing. But that was before.

Now Undertaker was acting strange and I didn't know why, and that was killing me. He was hurting inside and I couldn't help him because I had always been too scared and hid behind an 'I don't want to know'.

But now I wanted to know. I _needed_ to know.

"Taker... what do you hide in the cream colored coffin closest to the counter?" I spoke the words and the mortician immediately seemed to freeze, like time itself had stopped ticking and made the moment last forever.

The silence stretched on forever until the doll finally turned around to eye me up, leaning towards me while I had my eyes pointedly fixed on the reaper's own eyes.

There was some kind of contest going on there, and the first one to move would be the winner, I could feel it. If I moved my eyes away from his now, he would hide behind his crazed nonsense and that lovely laugh of his, saying things like 'little Lia has too much imagination~' and telling me not to worry 'my pretty little head about things that don't matter~'.

The doll's mouth opened wide before it was roughly slammed against the coffin, its head detached from its shoulders from the force of the attack.

Undertaker's eyes finally trailed off to look at the doll, and I gratefully relaxed at this. I won. I... did it. I thought I would die for sure...

"In that coffin lies Ciel Phantomhive." His words were serious, as was his face. He refused to meet my eye as he cleaned his hands from the doll's blood, hesitating for a second before sweeping his finger over my right cheek to clean a droplet of blood that had splattered against my cheek.

I took some time to ponder those words. Ciel Phantomhive... is dead. In that coffin. Why would he have it if he told me the body burned to ashes...? Wait... he didn't say that... that was Vilvent. The Phantomhive twins disappeared and only the youngest twin came back.

I...

I don't understand.

"Why?" I wasn't sure if I was glad my voice didn't waver, or confused.

"I couldn't take it anymore." He looked away from me, averting his eyes as I tried to find something in them that would help me understand.

"Why?" I pressed. There was something I couldn't understand, but he was tight lipped about it.

"It's..." He started but quickly went silent again. After a few more seconds of silence he parted his lips again, but no sound came out. "I... don't think I am ready to bring back those memories..." he whispered, unwilling to tell me, but obviously trying his best.

I put a hand on his cheek, searching for his eyes, which were firmly glued to the coffin that contained... Ciel.

"What do you hope to accomplish?" I asked again. What did he want? Why was he trying so hard to bring Ciel back to life? Why couldn't he just let the dead rest?

"I want things to go back to how they used to..." He finally looked up at me and my breath got stuck to my throat. "I want the twins back... I want Vincent back... I want... I want..." his words trailed off, eyes filled with tears as I held his head in my hands. "I want everything back..." he settled for whispering, his eyes lowering for a second before they returned to me.

He was baring his wounded heart to me... and I wasn't sure how I could help him. How could I begin to explain the way I saw things?

I wanted to hug him and help him, I just needed a way to do it.

"Too bad for you, life just goes on." The harsh words didn't come from my mouth, but the following, accusing 'Tofu!' was.

Undertaker eyes widened before narrowing dangerously, green eyes filling with insanity. "And who decides that? What does it matter if someone is dead and has no soul?! I have been working hard to retrieve his previous look, to make him look just like the little earl! If they are completely indistinguishable, does it matter if one of them had died at all?!" He shouted at the clown who had appeared out of nowhere with an unusually serious expression.

"Of course it does! Life and death are not matters to be trifled with lightly! Once someone dies, they are not allowed to keep interfering with the flow of time!" Tofu shot, making me sweat drop. If they keep talking over my head, how am I supposed to help? It's my fault for not wanting to know before, but...

"What does it matter? The gods aren't going to come down here to stop me, now are they~? Why should it be wrong if I bring back the dead? Shouldn't people be happier?! They got back their loved ones! Why should that be wrong?!" Undertaker shouted, clambering to his feet and eyeing Tofu like he was about to destroy it into a million pieces.

Worriedly, and feeling impotent about not being able to do anything, I followed suit, hands hovering in the air as I looked from the reaper to the clown back and forth.

"Because you're doing it only thinking of yourself! You haven't even asked anyone's opinion in the matter, you just decided to do whatever you pleased and retreat into your hidehole to sulk! I don't give a fuck if you bring back to life Phantomhive or the dead ghost of your twice removed grandmother! You don't get to fucking decide that!" I openly gaped at the cussing Tofu, who only just now had started to look angry instead of just serious, making me cough up an angry wail of "Language!" in an attempt to calm things down.

It didn't work.

"Did you even think about anything past yourself?! Do you really think you will be able to be sneaky forever?! Did you ever stop to think of how Dalia will suffer if something were to happen?!" I flinched, why was I suddenly being mentioned? "Did you consider for a second how she is suffering every time you decide to get up and leave in the middle of the night to tend to the dead Phantomhive?!" I coughed again. Wha- was he spying on us?! "Have you even thought of anything past yourself?!" Tofu was making a terribly enraged face, and so was Undertaker, who had gone deathly still with rage. "I don't give a flying fuck about you or about your dolls! But I do give a fuck when you hurt the stupid human!" I felt weirdly insulted by his statement, but it also gave me fuzzy feelings because Tofu _cared_. And I was willing to overlook the swearwords because Tofu was apparently only looking out for me... except that I really wish he didn't.

I don't think he has helped anything. In fact, I'm pretty sure he has made matters worse.

With a livid growl, Undertaker threw himself at the clown.

Yes, he has definitely ticked off the reaper.

He's not just angry... he's livid.

A flick of his fingers and suddenly Undertaker's hands were full with a skeleton scythe, and he wasted no time in swinging it in the clown's direction.

This is horrible! What can I do? I don't- I don't- I don't know what to do!

Something was sent crashing through a few coffins and I wasn't sure if it was the clown or the reaper. A look proved it was neither. One of the monsters from my dungeons, an Ice Giant had been summoned by Tofu and promptly disposed of by Taker.

Two dogs ran into the shop, probably attracted by the ruckus.

Ah! I don't want them to get hurt! I need to...

I have to bring them to the dungeon so they cannot destroy anything here. But it seems... like it will be hard to bring them anywhere... or even get close to them, as they are bringing destruction to anything closer than ten feet of their fight. The shop looked like a warzone.

A look at the confused and frightened faces of Pudding and Biscuit made me determined to do it. I needed to, before they got hurt.

A body was sent crashing near me, and I could do nothing but close my eyes and hope I would be able to pull it off.

With one last determined breath, I tackled the two fighting forces of death and destruction.

A second later we were on a lovely hill overlooking a lake with a nice house on top of said hill. I saw Stephanie look up from the place he had been reading a book to look at us.

And then someone's foot sent me crashing into Stephanie's face, effectively sending us both flying into the lake and away from the fight.

Ouch. That boot had possessed some daring heels... when I get that stupid reaper I'm going to shave him bald!

Swimming upwards with Stephanie in tow, we broke the water's surface.

The lovely hill with the nice house was nothing but a thing of the past.

Charred grass and a few wooden planks were all that survived the two supernatural creatures' rage.

"My house... you better have a good explanation for this!" Stephanie raged from where he was swimming next to me.

"I can... fix it? I hope?" I mumbled, more worried about finding the two fighters than Stephanie.

"Tsk." Stephanie looked away swimming away from me and towards the shore. Good idea.

I looked around at the desolation around me. Thankfully, I had managed to get them here or else they would have destroyed the whole shop, and maybe half of London. Taker wouldn't have liked destroying his shop.

Walking aimlessly hoping to find the two idiots I left Stephanie behind to try to see if his garden had survived. It hadn't, I had gotten a peek from the shore.

I guess this kind of makes us even... Hercules hadn't left me much to work with either... was this considered sabotage? It had been an accident...

I shook my head. Taker first.

I followed the trail of destruction until I came to find the two biggest headaches I had ever had in the history of forever. I had even named them, you see?

The enormous headache in my right temple I had named 'Tofu', and the glorious pounding on my left lobe was christened as 'Taker'.

At least they were not fighting anymore, just glaring at each other like they were a pair of... idiots.

"What are you even doing?! Why can't you two act like normal people for once and talk it out?!" I wailed, stepping around a fallen tree and hopping over a slash on the ground that seemed made by an earthquake... if the cut wasn't so smooth and clean. Taker I'm glaring at you and your toy.

The reaper moved his scythe a bit away from me with a grumble but didn't put it away.

"Men talk with their fists! You wouldn't understand!" Tofu growled making a vein pulse dangerously on my forehead.

"Like hell! You're just a pair of idiots that cannot be in a room without jumping at each other's throats! You know what? Kill each other for all I care!" I could feel my eyes stinging and my headache pulsing. "When you decide to act like civilized persons maybe I will bother trying to get some sense into you two!" I squeaked as I walked away, not being able to watch them fight anymore.

Why? Whywhywhy? Why couldn't they just stop trying to push each other's buttons? They had almost hurt Biscuit and Pudding... I should just leave them all in here to cool down for a bit.

Ah... but this is Tofu's dimension, he can escape whenever he wants...

I tripped on an uprooted tree and fell to the floor. I didn't bother getting up.

Urgh. Why was I even bothering to walk away like I was hoping for someone to follow? They are probably fighting again already.

I needed a vacation. Maybe I should kick everyone out of this dimension and lock myself in here for a day or two.

I could turn this into a beach... even if I don't particularly like sand...

I am wet, tired, with a terrible headache and I don't even know how to stop two people I care about from fighting, let alone help one of the aforementioned people I care about before he does something truly horrible.

I started sobbing from impotence and frustration.

Gosh. I can't do anything right. What would have Kim done in my place?

She would have somehow become the Queen. Ha!

I smiled at this thought, quickly wiping the tears from my eyes, but more came out not letting me compose myself.

Maybe I just needed to cry a little? I guess I can't be always happy... maybe this is the universe's way of telling me that life will always find a way to make me cry no matter how happy I try to be.

A hand softly brushed against my shoulder, and I almost smacked it away thinking Stephanie had been following me to complain about his garden.

Undertaker's green eyes were staring worriedly at my own, and suddenly everything seemed to be alright with the world again.

"Taker..." I tried, really tried to say something, but the words got stuck on my throat and the meaning I was supposed to give them melted away when he carefully picked me up, wiping my tears with his sleeve.

"My... seems like I have completely neglected my little sweetheart... come on, let's go home." He didn't say more, and I didn't want him to.

Right now, I just wanted him to hug me and tell me everything would be fine, even if it was nothing but lies.

I just wanted him to lie to me and hug me tight as he protected me from the world.

* * *

No one had said anything as we embraced each other tight. My sore throat choking me up every time I tried to start talking.

At some point we had ended up in a giant room full of pillows and plushies, away from Stephanie and Tofu, but still in the same dimension.

We just hugged each other silently, until I broke. I started crying. The first words I could give any meaning to was hysterical babbling about how much I had missed him, and how lonely I had felt.

The first words of his I managed to understand some of the meaning of were apologies. After that we went into silence again.

And then came the explanation.

He had had Ciel's body since the night the earl came back to us, hidden among the other coffins of the shop because he knew I wouldn't go around looking in those. He was right, of course. The only coffin I played with was my own, and maybe the ones on exposition when Taker was there to make sure I wouldn't break them.

The kid's memories were perfect for making into a doll, but his own method wasn't up to standards, so he was practicing and slowly mending the body back so it would look just like the earl does now.

He had carefully been putting the oldest Phantomhive twin together so he would be perfect, so he could go back to the earl once he was finished, and hopefully even take the Watchdog's position from him.

I didn't say anything. What could I say? I looked at his eyes and searched for something.

He was there. I could feel the small wavering uncertainty in the deepest parts of himself. He knew what he was doing wasn't exactly right, he wasn't too far gone yet...

I offered him my hand.

He looked at it in confusion for a second before looking to the side as if searching for something, then back at me and my hand.

"Let's go, Taker." I urged, smiling when he eyed my hand intensely.

"Where?" He whispered, as if he was a small kid too scared to ask.

"I don't know" I smiled, enjoying the surprise in his eyes. "Isn't that what life is about?" I asked, smiling when he eyed me like I was some sort of goddess.

We went back to the shop hand in hand, the reaper guiltily looking around the shop before his eyes settled on the intact cream colored coffin that contained the body of Ciel Phantomhive. He made a step in its direction before stopping, faltering.

He eyed the coffin in obvious distress, so I helped him by slowly guiding him towards it.

He breathed in deeply before opening the lid, Ciel's unmoving body staring blankly upwards with no light in their eyes.

He extended a hand and closed the kid's eyes, and with a final sigh closed the lid over the coffin.

He stared at it for what felt an eternity, finally getting up and away from the coffin.

I didn't say anything, I really didn't know what to say, or if there was anything I should say, instead I gave him my silent support just as I did years ago on the night Vilvent died.

"What do you want to do?" I asked him, he looked lost, almost as if he was begging me not to let him decide that. But I could choose what to do for him, if I did, he would hate me for it, and as much as I love him, I don't think I can bear with the thought of his hate.

"We can..." He started, looking around as if a hint would suddenly drop from the sky, the right answer to every question. "Burry him?" He asked me, looking like he was asking if that was the right decision.

"If that's what you want..." I said, putting a hand over his shoulder, feeling the tensed muscles under his skin.

"No." He quickly backtracked. "We have to burn him. I can't trust myself not to keep working if we don't. I... I... I don't want to..." He made a grimace as he grabbed my clothes with his hand, trying to stop either me from burying him or himself from kidnapping the body away where he could keep working on it.

I hugged him. Is this the correct choice? I am certain Taker is asking himself that very same question.

But... we couldn't know. We would probably never know, and only time would be able to tell.

Until then, we could only keep going forward.


	44. Chapter 43

**I apologize for the short chapter, but I am currently trying to see how things will turn out... now that... you know... they ditched cannon and everything... *sigh***

 **guadadominguez4: Taker really needed to get his head out of the gutter, but thankfully by the end of this chapter Dalia will give him his punishment for being an idiot (even if she doesen't know it). I just couldn't let him get away without some karmic retribution.  
The lemon is being worked on! In fact I made far more progress than I had thought I would... Now I just need to grow some guts to... you know, finish it.  
Tofu really really wants Dalia to become some sort of all powerful being, but sadly he will come to know the pain of having your plans thrown in your face with a splat... or actually succeed. I know I wouldn't mind if he did. Wishful thinking, I know. These two are _impossible_. **

**Charlie: Thanks! I'm afraid that the characters don't always _like_... plans. Like cannon. Which they recently decided to discard. I tried so hard...  
Thanks for your review, I love to read you like the fic!**

 **xXTheUndertakerXx: haha! Yes, patience, its something required when dealing with these two. Thanks for leaving a review!**

 **ZabuzasGirl: Right here! _Almost_ immediately!**

 **Disclaimer: As always: Yana Toboso owns Black Butler, not me.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Ciel Phantomhive's (second) funeral was silent and simple.

It had taken more than mere willpower for Taker to finally burn the body under my solemn gaze.

I believe he doesn't give himself enough credit. I still think he would have been able to do it even if I wasn't there watching his every step just like he had begged of me.

I think he feared he was going to have a change of heart at any moment and try to save the body, but... I believe he wouldn't. Because I believed in him.

Taker had silently cried, not differently from when he cried Vilvent's death, gripping me tight like I was about to disappear at any moment.

Which is kind of hypocritical of him, considering he had been the one avoiding me, but I forgave him because he wasn't perfect, and that was just fine because neither was I.

He was just being a bit more difficult than he should.

"Taker I need to bathe." I had told him once as I was getting ready to do exactly as I said.

Taker, sad adorable Taker blinked and nodded his head up and down, accompanying his words with an "Okay" for good measure with an innocent smile pulling his lips.

I sighed desperately.

"For normal people, that usually means 'get out of the bathroom so I can bathe' just to make it clear." I pointed out as I made a motion at the bathroom door he was completely ignoring.

"I see~" he blinked again, but made no move to leave.

"Get out"

...

That had been quite an adventure. I had to calm him down by brushing his hair until it flowed beautifully like a silver waterfall of... hair. Which it was... so...

So... maybe he was afraid I would leave? Where would I even leave to? He's being unreasonable. Although I would lie if I said I wasn't happy with the attention...

I sighed, contemplating the recent set of events and how they had changed so much.

Taker was... sad. That much I could tell. But he also seemed to be looking for something, but not knowing exactly what it was. Like he had lost something and had forgotten what the object he had been looking for was midway through.

I knew that expression because it had happened to me quite more times than I would like... like that time with the socks. Or that time I had lost one of my knitting needles and had searched up and down until I forgot what I was looking for... so I decided to knit to pass the time. Despite Taker's amused comments, it wasn't fun.

One good thing that came out of that was the sudden increase of cookies. Maybe because he had more free time.

Or maybe he was trying to make it up to me?

"Is it good?" He asked, as if he didn't know that any cookie he baked was immediately delicious just by virtue of being made by him. And because they tasted heavenly.

"It's delicious!" I smiled happily. "Although... why does it look so..." I looked at the cookie in my hand, searching for an appropriate word. "Colorful?"

The reaper gave me a heartfelt happy smile for a minute, cheeks blushing slightly before another voice cut through.

"Colorful is a rather nice attribute. I would have described it as the bastard offspring of a Rainbow Unicorn and a Glittery Cat, but colorful is also appropriate, yes." Of course, Tofu has become even more of a grump since he deemed I forgave the reaper too easily.

In my opinion I didn't have anything to forgive, even if his actions hurt. And punishing the reaper would be like shooting myself on the foot. He had been sad and crying, how was I supposed to harden my heart to those puppy eyes?

"No one asked your opinion. Go jump under a carriage or something." Taker growled, green eyes narrowing dangerously.

Needless to say, Taker and Tofu couldn't be in the same room without jumping at the other's throat since the fight.

I shooed Tofu away with the threat of making him eat the cookie Taker made, and the clown hissed like he had been told he would have to kiss the reaper.

The cookie was good, maybe a bit more colorful than expected, but it was tasty. I don't know how he managed to make the cookie glitter, but it was still delicious.

"Dalia" Taker called out with a contemplative hum, making my head whip in his direction as I noticed the serious atmosphere.

Taker had a distant look and his chartreuse eyes were suspiciously shiny, making his eyes look like they were glowing. Was he going to cry? Would he like a hug?

"I'm sorry." I turned to look at me with a solemn look. Seriousness didn't suit him at all. "I know those words are meaningless, but for what it's worth, I am sorry for hurting you. I will try to avoid a repeat of this and I will make it up to you." He continued, ignoring my frown.

"You don't need to make it up to me." I quickly said before he continued what seemed to be some kind of prepared speech he had saved for the right moment. He probably got tired of waiting and decided this moment was as good as any.

Him apologizing was more than enough to me. Despite Tofu not thinking the same.

Apparently Taker had Tofu still agreed on something despite their obvious disagreements, as the mortician didn't look like he approved of me forgiving him so easily. Honestly, I think the idiot was already punishing himself enough for both of us.

Undertaker sighed, closing his beautiful eyes for a second before they snapped open, and gave me a mischievous look, staring at me from behind his long lashes with a coy smile.

"Does that mean we don't get to enjoy the make-up sex~?" He said with a naughty smirk as I almost choked on the rainbow-cookie I had been eating. Well, forget the almost, I directly choked on it.

After coughing out a lung or two, the white haired mortician started patting my back so I wouldn't die choking on a cookie. That would be embarrassing.

Taking the opportunity he had scooted close enough and my cough attack had subsided, I tackled his torso in a hug and sighed contently. "We don't need to fight to enjoy that" I mumbled unintelligibly as I pressed my face again his chest.

I had really missed him.

Wrapping his arms around me, he seemed comfortable to let a calming silence wash over us.

I could faintly hear his heart beating a soothing rhythm inside his chest as he softly brushed stray hairs from my bird nest of a hair into place.

Ah... that felt nice.

I was almost about to fall asleep right there and there -I had lost sleep to catch up to!- when the chest I was laying on vibrated when its owner spoke.

"What happens now? Where are we going?" He asked with a serious tone, looking at me with adorably hopeful eyes, making me blink for a second, thrown off by the sudden _non sequitur_.

I blinked a few times more just to clear my head from the fogginess of sleep. He had been really comfortable.

Maybe it was because my brain was still about to fall asleep, but to me that seemed like a stupid question.

"We go on." I stated. Was there any other way to go other than forward? Maybe time traveling... but he wasn't about to go back in time now, right? Or was he actually talking about moving somewhere? I wouldn't mind if that was the case.

"That seems unexpectedly smart, coming from you. And really difficult." He smiled sadly, to which I could only stare in confusion. "It may be my age talking, but it seems like the youth's simplicity is sometimes wiser than any old man's combobulated ramblings." He clarified, poking my nose and laughing when I rubbed it with a disgruntled huff.

"I really don't get it..." I mumbled, settling into his chest to fall asleep in.

"Really? Maybe I'm not making much sense after all... which would prove my point, really. Mhmmm..." he hummed as he picked me up and started walking.

"Lemme sleep..." I growled, grabbing onto the reaper so he would stop moving already.

"Lia, you can't sleep here. At least let me carry you to bed." He sounded appropriately regretful, but a quick glance upwards proved he was smiling like a fool.

"So ungentlemanly, not letting me sleep..." I grumbled, grabbing a fistful of his hair to smack him with it and ignoring that he was actually being nice by carrying me to bed despite me falling asleep and being uncooperative.

"Awww~ but I am no gentleman~!" He laughed, completely ignoring the 'well, I can see that' I retorted with as I tried not to fall as we entered the bedroom.

He sat me on the bed and brushed a strand of hair that had fallen over my eyes back, letting me see his gentle look.

After settling in, the reaper turned to me, opening his arms invitingly.

More than happy to oblige I cuddled into his arms, immediately falling asleep the second my head touched my Taker-pillow.

I was out like a light before I could think of asking him for more cookies.

* * *

Undertaker startled when I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck from behind, leaning onto him and breathing in his presence. I can't believe how much I missed him...

Kissing his cheek and gaining a precious blush in return, I couldn't help but wish I could get the dogs to go out for a while so we could lay in bed, preferably doing something other than sleeping, but I wasn't picky. There was time.

"I'm tired of listening to Zephyr bitching inside the dungeon, so you either deal with whatever he wants or I'm get rid of him myself." Tofu, with all the subtlety of a trainwreck, interrupted my advances, making me groan in exasperation.

Taker, who had been relaxed until the clown made himself know, jumped like spring, tense as a board.

Sigh. There it goes all the progress I had made into calming him down.

"What is it?" I pouted at the clown, a bit put off about why would Zephyr want to talk to me, when he had been the one that hadn't listened to me when I tried before.

"I'm not playing messenger. You either go or I get rid of him at long last." Tofu, impatient as he was, decided the conversation was finished and disappeared.

Eyeing the mortician to silently ask if it was alright to go inside the dungeon, I found him petting Biscuit with an absent smile. He was either ignoring Tofu and Biscuit had proved to be useful means to do it, or... or... of Taker hit his head quite hard on something.

"Go already~ we don't want that pest doing anything, do we~? Although if you want to get rid of our guest, I would be more than happy to oblige~" Taker offered, making an enraged Tofu come back growling about calling dibs or something, making them glare at each other like they were about to fight.

I don't know if I want to run away from the imminent fight or stay to prevent said fight.

I'll just go see what Stephanie wants.

"Finally!" An exasperated voice called the very second I arrived. I hadn't made him wait that much, right?

Apparently the answer was 'yes', because the man didn't waste any time in backing me into a corner, glaring at me.

"Take responsibility!" He growled, pointing rudely at my face.

"Uh... I beg your pardon?" I blinked. Responsibility? What did I do?

"You and your friends kidnapped me! You attacked me, kidnapped, and locked me up in here for who knows how long! And _then_ , as if you didn't have enough, you come here and destroy my house and my plants! What do you have to say for yourself?!" The man ranted, growling and snapping like a feral dog.

"..."

"Well?!" He pressed on when I didn't say anything, just looked at the still destroyed surroundings.

"I can... fix it?" I offered.

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Stephanie all but howled in rage.

"I don't want you to fix it! I want you to let me put already! If you're don't have any reason to leave me locked up in here at least let me go!" He shouted.

To be truthfully honest... I had no idea what to do with Stephanie.

"Stephanie..." I began, trying to figure out a way for everyone to be happy. I should probably get Taker. He can probably come up with a reason why it is a bad idea to let Stephanie go, as I am currently unable to.

"Roaaaaaar!" Stephanie suddenly roared in fury, all but attempting to tackle me to the ground.

I disappeared back into the shop, facing Taker who was now wrestling a shirt out of Pudding.

"Taker I need you to be the voice of reason" Grabbing onto the mortician without letting him answer, I brought us back to the dungeon.

Pudding had sadly tagged along, and decided that jumping onto the half empty lake was the best idea since they decided to steal Taker's shirt while I was gone.

A strangled whine of protest from the mortician that was much too late after, and I made a motion for Stephanie to repeat what he had wanted because there was no way I would be able to explain it to Taker without messing something up.

"My name is not Stephanie! It's Zephyr!" Stephanie growled, glaring daggers at me and making Pudding perk up to give the man a suspicious look.

"That's why you brought me here? I'm sorry to break it to you but his name _is_ Zephyr." Taker deadpanned from behind me, making me look from the black haired man to the reaper, stuttering as I tried to explain things.

"Wha- no! I mean... what? But I thought... wait! That's not what I wanted to- arghh! What do you mean his name is not Stephanie?! I- he-" I produced a few more unintelligible sounds, trying to decide if it was more important to settle the matter of Stephanie's / Zephyr's name or his homing arrangement.

I wailed and started gripping my head in my hands, eyes swirling as I tried to make sense of the situation.

Pudding, sweet innocent furball decided this was somehow Steph-phyr's fault and tackled him.

"Pudding!" Thankful to at least be able to concentrate on something stable for the moment, I chastised the dog, making them stop trying to get into the man's face.

"Is that really its name...?" Zeph-anie, asked with a doubtful tone, looking at the dog as if he was pitying it.

"Not really. His name is Pluto." Taker answered without missing a beat making Zephyr double the pitying look and patting the dog's head as if comforting them.

"Wha-" I flinched. Was... was it? "What the hell?! Is today let's pick on Dalia day?!" I wailed desperately. Everything I know is crumbling into pieces! "Waaaaah!"

"Well, all of this is actually _your_ doing, so I don't know what you're crying about" Taker pointed out with a smug smirk, making me glare at him with a pout.

"Go away you meanies!" I shouted at them all, but decided to take my own advice and leave the dungeon. I would eat some cookies and lay in bed all day! How dare they?!

The mortician's amused smirk suddenly washed away, a panicked look overcoming his features as he tried to tackle me before I left, but by the time he managed to shout a "waitwaitwaitwait!" I was already gone.

Pouting at the empty shop I eyed Biscuit the only company I needed.

Humph! I won't forgive them unless they come groveling to me with cookies as their offering!

With that though I turned away to steal all of Taker's cookie supply, unknowingly leaving the three locked up in my dungeon with no way out.


	45. Chapter 44

**Uhh... Well, as promised I finally (finally) finished the... lemon. I did my best, but I am no expert. So.. uhh... I doubt I will be doing this again any time soon, but at least it was an... experience. Yeah, let's call it that.**

 **magibear: Hi thanks for leaving another review! Even if it seems to have been cut off mid sentence, Fanfiction does this sometimes, don't worry. I'm guessing you were talking about Dalia leaving Taker locked up. Dalia is quite... forgetful. Don't worry, we get our favorite mortician back in this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: As always: Yana Toboso owns Black Butler, not me.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

It has been four days since I saw Taker last, I wonder where he went. It's strange, he usually tells me where he's going, so for him to suddenly banish is...  
Strange. I miss him. I wonder where he went? I haven't seen him in a while... and neither have I seen Pudding for that matter. I wonder where they are. Biscuit misses them too.

After searching the house for what seemed to be the hundredth time today and finding no trace of neither dog nor reaper, I gave up for today.  
Maybe Taker took Pudding for a small travel and won't be back for a while... That ass! He could have at least warned me!

Phantomhive didn't seem to know much either, seeing as both him and his butler had dropped by to ask about a series of disappearances. I hadn't been able to help much at all, as neither of the people he was looking for had passed through the mortician's hands at all. I even made sure none of them were currently in here.  
At least I hope that means they are still alive.

Oh, my... Taker would have my head if he learns I gave them information without taking any payment... then again, why would I ask for payment if the reaper wasn't even here to enjoy it?

When he gets back, I'm going to chew him out! He's really going to get it this time! I thought we had agreed to stop hiding, but he's still nowhere to be found.

Tofu had been in a... surprisingly good mood lately. Maybe I could use that to ask in which dark hole the reaper hid in.

When I finally do find him... he'll regret not hiding better! Or well, it would be better if he regretted leaving in the first place, but with Taker... I rather doubt he will.

Uhmm... if I was Taker, where would I hide? Probably in the last place I would ever find him. Where would he be, then? In the shop? But I already looked there! Even in his creepy morgue!

Mhmm...

I feel like I'm forgetting something...

...

...

No. I don't remember at all.

Well, I guess there's nothing I can do about it. I'll just go and make dinner. Hopefully Taker will get his head out of wherever he's hiding long enough to smell the food and come back.  
I am a little bit worried though... Taker usually mentions it, when he leaves... although I usually forget, so it could have been that. Maybe I forgot.

Should I check up on Stephan... Zephyr? I have been feeling the lack of human company for a while. Biscuit's barks aren't... that much of a conversation starter.  
Maybe later, if I manage to get him to not attack me the second I arrive. Or maybe I should just... not.

Ah! But he was angry at me for getting his name wrong, wasn't he? Maybe if I get his name right this time, he will be willing to... you know... not try to wring my neck with single-minded determination long enough to have a proper conversation.  
As long as I get his name right... Stephanie was it? Uh... no, no. It was Zephyr. Zephyr? No, that sounds wrong. Zephaniah? Maybe? No?

There goes my chance at a normal conversation.

Hey! Maybe I should... avoid calling his name altogether! Then I can't get it wrong, right?

Right?

I can try... after dinner. Should I make some extra in case Taker and Pudding decide to grace us with their presence? I still have leftovers from the other times I made extra... but maybe I should anyways. Just a bit. If they don't come back Biscuit can eat their leftovers.

* * *

Turns out that making extra helpings was a good idea after all.

Taker was apparently hiding in my instant dungeon, and has been glaring at me with a very mean pout as he stuffed himself ever since I found him there. He's apparently angry about something, but I'm not sure what did I do that would make him be angry enough to disappear for days and still be grumpy when I found him.

"Taker?" I tried to speak as he bit the food on his fork with enough force to bend the metal. A grumble and green eyes flickering to mine were the only answer I received, but were enough to tell me I had his attention. "Are you... angry? You left for days and..." I trailed off, unsure why my words seemed to make him even grumpier than before.

A tense silence hung around before Taker sighed. A long suffering sigh, as if he just lost some battle I hadn't been aware of, calmly depositing the ruined fork near his empty plate on the table.  
And then he tackled me across the table as he cried how much he missed me and my stupid oblivious self.

I don't think I am _that_ oblivious, but he seems to disagree.

"Liaaaaaaa~ I missed you so muuuch~ I thought I would have to spend the rest of eternity with that twat as my only company! Well, not only seeing as the dog was also there, but he's not much better than Zephyr!" He cried and trashed, making me blink in confusion.

"So... you're not angry?" I prodded and the mortician perked up with glowing green eyes, creepily crawling across the table he was sprawled across to make a sweeping gesture in front of my face.

"I am! Very much so! Just not for the reasons you seem to believe~" he put one of his sleeves in front of his mouth to hide his smirk, kneeling on the table.

"The table is not to sit on... or kneel on." I muttered, watching the table with worried eyes. What if it broke?

"My poor heart was about to break into pieces!" He went on, ignoring my words. With a graceful jump, he got off the table and straight onto my lap, putting both of his arms on my shoulders and his face inches away from mine.

"I rather doubt it..." I mumbled as I felt a pair of hands sneaking down my back and upwards again in search of something stable to grope. A hand decided to stay on my shoulder while the other cupped my cheek as a pair of lips drew closer.

"I'm hurt you would doubt the extent of my love, dear~" he whispered as he pressed his cheek against mine, the hand that had been occupied with it moved to the back of my head as his other hand moved me even closer to him.

I grumbled something unintelligible under my breath as I shyly looked away from the fool in my lap. I thought he had been about to kiss me… that idiot.

"What was that~?" The aforementioned fool giggled, brushing a stray hair out of my face.

"Not fair." I repeated. "You left without saying anything and now I'm the bad guy..." I mumbled grumpily, making the reaper exhale a long, _long_ sigh _.  
_ Glaring at the idiot suspiciously, I repeated his previous words to me. "What was that?"

"Absolutely nothing, love. What would you accept in exchange of forgiving this poor fool~?" He shook his head with another long suffering sigh.

"I don't know... why would I want anything?" I answered before realizing I could ask for cookies. Cookies were always good!

"How about letting you be the boss for the rest of the week~?" He offered, a smirk pulling his lips slightly upwards.

I made a slight grimace. "Does that mean I can ask for cookies anytime?" I prodded, instantly brightening when the mortician nodded. "Okay! I'm boss! And I want cookies! Cookies!" I missed Taker's cookies soooo~ much! Almost as much as the mortician himself.

The reaper gave a rueful grumble that might have meant he regretted his suggestion as he tried to get up, but I quickly sneaked my arms around his neck to prevent him from leaving. "Where are you going?" I frantically asked, worried he was about to disappear again because of me. I wasn't that horrible, right?

Undertaker blinked once, then twice as he slowly, as if he feared that was the wrong answer, answered: "cookies".

I blinked too, before frowning. "Not now! Now I want to hug you. I really missed you, you know. Not just the cookies." I pouted. The lips of the reaper's mouth pulled upwards in a happy smile, making my heart beat fast enough to make me believe I was about to have a heart attack. "Although the cookies do have a great part of it..." I finished, his happy smile turning into an offended, if fake, sound of outrage as he tackled me to the best of his ability.

"So evil~!" He mockingly wailed. A little too much trashing sent us flying out of the chair and to the floor, the reaper's pale hair cascading around us like the leaves of a willow tree as he leaned over me.

"Waaah!" I cried out as I avoided tickling fingers trying to... do something. "Taker what are you doing?" I asked, trying to get up to see what was the reaper doing.

" _I_ am enjoying your presence, love." I felt him smirk from where he had shoved his face against my chest, he hadn't even bothered to look at me.

"You are tickling me. S-stop that." I blushed as his hands finally stilled from where they had been caressing my sides.

A comfortable silence settled with only the occasional rustle when someone moved and the odd bark from Biscuit outside.

The floor was... surprisingly comfortable. It was hard, but in a good way. And it wasn't as cold as I imagined, surprisingly. The only thing I could complain about was Taker's hair flying everywhere. Soft hair... nice hair... hair in my mouth…

Blergh.

"Make love to me." Taker suddenly blurted, seriously looking straight at me.

"I beg your pardon?" I blinked once and then for good measure I cleaned my ears to make sure I heard correctly.

"Come on Lia!" He, of course didn't bother repeating himself, and just jumped to his feet with unfair grace and picked me up like a sack of potatoes.

"W-Wait! Wa- Hey! Put me down! Taker I'll kick you!" I growled as I tried to get back on my feet, the reaper's hold not bulging despite my best efforts.

"Oh~! I didn't know you were onto those things~! But if you want to experiment I'll be more then glad to- oomph!" He cut himself off when I successfully kicked his stomach, my victorious smile quickly dying when I got a dark glare in return.

I sweatdropped as I stilled and looked away. "Am I in trouble?" I asked shyly.

"Definitely~" the dark look was instantly replaced with a cheery smile, which didn't ease my worries, in fact I am pretty sure that is a clear sign to _worry_.

"Wha..." thinking better than asking anything that could give the reaper any ideas, I wisely shut up and looked fearfully upwards at his handsome... -stupid, I meant stupid- face.

"So... seeing as you have just discovered a very healthy interest in experimentation -oh, I do so love to tease you- I'll be so gracious as to let you experience whatever you want. In bed, no cookies involved. Unless you want to... no, I'm not crossing that line. Too bad." He had a half dreamy look on his face as we entered the bedroom.

"Allow me to doubt it." I mumbled, knowing I screwed up when the reaper _squeaked_ in outrage like an offended bird. "You never let me! I have reason to be doubtful." I quickly defended myself.

"Mhmmm..." He hummed, giving me a considering glance. "But it's not really my fault you are too embarrassed to take the reins." I opened my mouth to rebuff that, but found myself unable to. I _knew_ I was right, but he wasn't exactly _wrong_ either.

"Okay, let's do this, you're boss for the week, aren't you?" He offered, ignoring my questioning "What does that have to do with anything?" And carried on. "Then I'll be a good boy and do everything you say~ how does that sound~? Pretty seductive I have to say~" He answered his own question before I could. Probably because he knew I would answer with something along the lines of...

"That sounds scary and a horrible idea to boot. Half of the time I don't even know what I'm doing." My mouth went ahead of my brain and just blurted it out without my permission, making Taker roll his eyes and leave me on the bed hovering above me for a second before quickly kissing so I would do the smart thing and shut up.

* * *

 **WARNING: Okay this is a warning for those that are not comfortable reading suggestive themes and more specifically lemon, no matter how non-explicit I was. I tried to keep it with Fanfiction rules, that don't allow _great_ details, even if rarely anyone follows them. They are my excuse and I will stick by them.  
** **This can still make people uncomfortable so its why I'm putting a warning here.**

* * *

"Mhmm... w-wait..." I pushed the reaper slightly away and tried to reverse our positions. "Le-lemme try..." I blushed furiously, straddling the mortician and making him blink in surprise. Maybe because he didn't think I would actually take his offer?

The surprise was quickly overridden by a mischievous smile as he tamely went still and let me have my way. Slowly discarding his baggy, unflattering uniform I looked him over once he was only down to his pants, leaving his chest to my mercy.

I started softly tracing the scar running across his chest, eliciting a pleased shudder and a sneaky hand trying to have my furisode undone to match him. I softly slapped it away, but knew he had accomplished what he wanted when I felt my clothes slid slightly out of place, the piece keeping everything together now too loose to keep everything together.

"Takeeer..." I pouted, putting my hands on the mentioned man's chest to prevent him from throwing me off with his laughter. He received a pout with a glare for that, but seeing as he didn't cower as I had wanted to I decided to shut him up with a slightly... different method.

He almost chocked on his laughter when I undid the loose Obi and threw it away giving the mortician a peek of my breasts, but not a full look. I blushed fiercely when I heard his mutter of "that damned death trap" as he gave my breasts a dark look. Well, not exactly my breasts but what was containing them, to be precise.

I squeaked and took a pillow, pushing it against the reaper's face and preventing him from staring at them. It was embarrassing.

A pouty sigh from the mortician later and a cease of all escape attempts was needed before I agreed to remove the pillow, allowing the mortician to breathe.

And then I stared. For a full minute.

Uhh... okay, what came next?

I was understandably lost when it came at having control of the situation, as Taker usually was more than glad to guide me through. But now that I had somehow decided to be the big girl in this case, I was the boss and was in charge of directing the bedroom activities. Except I had no idea on where to start.

Taker had an excellent poker face as he calmly withstood my blank face as I tried to remember what he usually did when clothes started to become scarce.

Ah. He hugged and kissed me, his touch making me melt like overheated candy. That would explain why I didn't remember, usually that was around the point when my mind stopped making sense, so it kind of... shut off.

I lowered myself to hug the reaper earning a small giggle followed by a muttered curse.

"Damn Lia. That was adorable, like a confused puppy." He bit one of his hands, probably to prevent another laughing attack and I couldn't help but glare. Ass, I am doing my best!

I hid my red face in his shoulder, trying to keep my wits about me. The chuckle about to break out of him quickly died off, when I bit into his shoulder to avoid the imminent gushing I knew would come if he saw my pout from where I was still hugging him, not that I think he could see me, I doubt he has eyes on the side of his face, but with Taker it always pays off to be cautious. Instead, Undertaker shuddered and sneaked his arms around my body tighter to prevent me from escaping.

I was still straddling him so when he sat up to quickly change positions I had the upper hand, and started smacking his face in an attempt to remain where I was, despite the obvious power difference. "Booo! Taker stop moving! I thought you said you would let me lead? Then stop moving and get down. Down down!" I smacked him a few times more when the reaper trashed, trying to seek my lips that I pulled out of reach to punish him.

"Liaaaaa~... I changed my miiiind~!" He whined, trying to steal a kiss or change positions, his parted lips invitingly trying to get mine to get just in reach of his own.

"Too bad! If you want something you have to... uhmm... be good. And stay down. And still. And... mhmm..." I bit my lips thinking about what else could I get out of him now that he seemed nice tame like a sleepy kitten... more like a napping panther, really. The second I get distracted, he's gonna try to change positions again. Green shining eyes lazily looking up at me in obvious amusement and slight frustration.

I rewarded his good behavior with the promised kiss, once he was laid back down on the bed, my scarlet red cheeks only surpassed by his redder sinful lips.

He still tried to sneak a tongue, so I had to regretfully pull away. If I let him do what he wants once, he will take advantage of it and...

I blushed red, shaking my head out of any thoughts. If _he_ can do that then so can I!

Slowly lowering myself again to make sure he wasn't getting any ideas, I kissed the scar on his chest. It made my lips tingle pleasantly and the body underneath mine twitch as Taker's hands took a hold of the sheets and brought them to his mouth to bite into.

Uh... okay. I guess... I hope that doesn't mean I hurt him... I think I didn't? He would say something, right?

Slowly lowering my body to trail kisses down to his stomach I almost startled when a pair of hands grabbed me and pulled me upwards and crashing straight into a pair of lips.

"Fuck it. Fuck this. Everything. Don't care." Was the only answer I got when I managed to squeal out an indignant "Hey!"

Sitting up again, Taker made me almost faint when he started kissing my neck, down to my breasts and tearing out my bra with a quick motion, changing our positions and making me meekly try to pull his hair to get back some semblance of control.

See? This is the real reason I never take control. Taker is a mean, mean man. And I just am too weak to his soft kisses.

A soft, pleased sigh escaped me, weak as I was to his ministrations. I still had to... try... to... mhmm... ah... lips...

A weak meowing sound almost made me believe that Captain Socks the Terrible had somehow sneaked in unnoticed, before I realized the sound had come from _me_. That... was terribly embarrassing.

"Ahn... Taker... stupid..." I tried to smack him without much success, a mischievous smile on his lips as he pressed his body flush against mine, making me tremble in anticipation. Lips teasing my sensitive mounds and making me hold onto the mortician for dear life.

It was only when my pants were somehow discarded -when had they disappeared? I had them on a second ago!- that I realized Taker was a sneaky bastard that should go bald if there's any justice left in this world.

So I smacked him with the same pillow I had almost throttled him with what felt like days ago. Once. Twice. Thrice.

I lost count how many times I smacked him before he retreated, but I didn't stop there and kept hitting him until I was satisfied.

I breathed heavily as he gave me a look that promised a terrible, terrible retaliation.

"Bad Taker!" I growled in between pants, blushing at his chastised look as he moved his glare away. "You bad, bad Taker!" I hit him once more with the pillow to make sure he was staying down for good this time.

He squirmed away to lay face down on the bed as he grumbled unintelligible things against the mattress, looking a bit like a chastised Biscuit when they did something naughty, half lidded eyes, looking slyly up at me.

"You said I was boss, so you have to do as I say." I pointed out, ready to chew him out.

"I'm regretting opening my big mouth now." He sourly grumbled, still not facing me and my wrath. His voice rasped the words out, tone lower than usual.

With a jump I straddled him again, realizing a bit too late that I would need him to be facing me instead of face down, if I wanted to kiss him.

That... was a bit of a miscalculation. No matter, I could still kiss his back. So I did, my hands roaming the broad back of the mortician I was sitting on.  
I found the way the muscles underneath mine twitched and moved incredibly interesting. The way his shoulders tensed and relaxed when I moved my hand over him, the way his arm would move as if trying to figure out if risking another pillow smacking to touch me was worth it.

I found his answer when a hand sneaked to caress my leg, a pleasant feeling crawling up to the center of my stomach. I wanted him closer to me, which was difficult to accomplish, seeing as I was already straddling him.

Slowly, making sure I wasn't going to get angry at him for it, Taker moved to face me, and when he did I could swear his eyes were shining green with an eerie glow.

Carefully turning around and sitting up, Taker's hands roamed up my chest and pulled me closer. No words were exchanged, but one of my hands hesitantly caressed Taker's face, my eyes firmly locked with his.

I could feel my jagged breaths mingling with his own uneven breathing, our faces close enough to kiss. His lips softly brushed against mine, teasingly offering the world but not outright giving anything. I realized I was clenching my teeth hard when they started to hurt a bit, so I stopped and instead kissed the darn fool that dared to tease me.

One of his hands slightly moved my furisode off of my shoulders and I wholeheartedly agreed. I didn't what to damage it, no matter how much better I felt whenever I wore it.

Only when it was off I realized I was basically naked while he still had his pants on, which I glared darkly and pouted at until he huffed and started to wiggle them off without throwing me off of him. This would be easier if I moved off for a second... well, he's really strong, so he can suffer for a bit, no problem. He kind of deserves it for being an ass.

I peeked downwards and blushed like a schoolgirl. No matter how many time I saw _it_ , there was something fascinating about looking at Taker naked. It was very... attention-grabbing. Like it was demanding for attention, which...

I looked at Taker, wondering just for how long he has been trying to hide his raging boner down there. When I opened my mouth to ask exactly that, I was silenced by the same pillow I had used to smack Taker around, hitting me square in the face.

"I know what you were thinking, and the answer is 'longer that is polite', so if you're going to laugh don't keep me waiting for long." The reaper deadpanned, glaring darkly as he changed our positions so he was above me in the bed and between my legs. My eyes were glued to his red cheeks, either from embarrassment or from the quickly escalating heat of the room.

"I think you have mistaken me for yourself." I shot back at the reaper with an unimpressed snort. "I'm not the one who laughs at other's people's misery." That earned me what sounded like an agreement in the form of a short bark of laughter.

Raising my hands upwards to embrace him and pull him closer, I vaguely remembered I was supposed to be the one in charge. The thought quickly flew out of the window when I felt a hand touching my most sensitive place.

And... There goes my rationality, goodbye, you will be missed.

"A-ahn..." I couldn't keep my voice as silent as I wanted it to, making me flush a deep scarlet. That's… so embarrassing… Squirming breathlessly under his touch, I only managed to smack the hand away when I found myself dangerously close to the edge. I've heard of tales of women being able to do it multiple times, but in my experience one time is enough to knock me out for good, and I would drown in my own embarrassment if I couldn't last long enough.

Trapping him in between my legs to pull him even closer I couldn't help but blush heavily. He looked, he looked… Beautiful. Handsome. No matter the word I use, it's definitely not enough to describe the sheer beauty of the face I had so close to mine.  
Glowing chartreuse eyes at half-mast, framed with wild locks of silver hair everywhere, like a cascade of liquid silver that hid us from the world. The scar across his face making him look a little bit more human as his soft glowing eyes made him look like a god.

He closed his eyes as we became one, red lips slightly parted to let uneven breaths, contrasting with his pale face and silvery hair, his lips were the most prominent color on his face now that his eyes weren't visible.

I quickly covered my mouth, barely able to keep my own eyes open, but still wanting to look at him, to admire the man I loved so dearly.

Deep green, but somehow still almost yellow eyes opened, so soft I had to close my eyes or I would die for sure. My heart beating in my ears and drowning any other sounds in the room. I could feel it beating against my chest as if trying to get out with brute force… the blood pumping roughly through my neck… through my whole body.

A hand wiped away a line of sweat I hadn't noticed had formed before he started to move, my eyes quickly opened again to look at him, his eyes glued to mine… his silver hair brushing against my face...

I could feel myself coming closer and closer to the edge as I kissed the reaper with blind fervor, the only action I felt I could do without melting like overheated ice cream, my body not mine to control anymore.

Sighing when Taker's head came close enough to hide in my shoulder to breathe in, I eyed his piercing covered ear with fascination. I knew his piercings were sensitive so...  
While my original goal was to lick the pierced ear, I just so happened to be distracted by the quickly mounting pleasure inside of me, unexpectedly sending tremors down my back and hips, and I lost control of my mind as the pleasure settled in my stomach and expanded.  
The intended lick turned into a bite which made Taker tighten his already firm hold on me, and sigh against my neck as he shuddered, his movements become wild before turning slightly erratic.  
Not that I noticed, having lost control of all bodily function and essentially turning into jelly. I felt boneless and a little lightheaded, warm feeling in my stomach making me want to do nothing but settle against Taker and sleep forever.

One of the first things I noticed when the fog of my mind dissipated was my tongue burning slightly, which meant I had probably bit into it too, when I nibbled Taker's ear. The next thing I realized was a heavy body on top of mine, crushing me slightly. It was only a little annoying, but very comforting somehow.

It took a while, but once I felt like I wasn't going to die a boneless heap if I so much as moved, I looked up at the body over mine.  
"I hope you didn't bite my ear off." Said body complained, voice slightly raspy but otherwise not betraying the owner's tired condition. The fact he was using me as a pillow did that for him though.

Sadly, my voice didn't recover as gracefully as his, and creaked and squeaked like a broken chew toy. "I hope I didn't bite my tongue off, either." I said, idly testing if my tongue was still in one piece. I didn't taste blood, so I was probably fine, just a little tender.

"I think we're good. You talked normally and I heard you just fine." He smirked, giggling when I tugged at one of his hair strands. _Accidentally_ , of course.

"My voice doesn't normally sound like that. Repeat that and I'll bite your ear off for real." I threatened, hiding my red face with his long silver lock of hair I had previously manhandled.

Mhmm... I felt my eyes close on their own volition. Taker's warmth next to me giving me a nice fuzzy feeling deep in my chest and stomach. If I was a little more awake I would hug the life out of him.

I'm not going to fall asleep, though! I'm strong! I can...

...

"Lia?"

...

A giggle.

"Goodnight~"

* * *

 **WARNING END: Okay! It's safe now folks! Just to clarify, after this line there is a timeskip, so the events below don't happen immediately after the action above, as you might have already deduced.**

* * *

"I did _what_?!" I exclaimed, tears about burst from my eyes.

"Why did you have to open your big mouth?" Taker glared at the toy with far more vitriol than it was warranted, but I ignored that in favor of wailing in despair.

"I'm just saying that locking the mummy in the dungeon was an excellent idea. You should do it again." Tofu repeated, ignoring Taker's unamused glare and my despairing cry.

"I'm a monsteeeeer!" I cried out.

"No you're not. YOU, stupid toy soldier, should have kept silent. Lia, I'm not angry or anything, come on, don't cry..." Taker tried to pacify me as I hid in Taker's chest, Biscuit barking and whining in distress, not understanding what was happening.

"But I locked Pudding with Steph-... THAT GUY, WHATEVER-HIS-NAME-IS. He's not nice! And they're still together! I have to save Pudding!" I wailed.

"..." Taker was silent for a minute, probably not knowing what to say. "They are fine. They became friends and everything while I was still there. Stop crying." He patted my head, producing a cookie from somewhere and giving it to me.

I instantly brightened, happily munching on the cookie.

Tofu made a contemplative noise. "That's great. We can get rid of two idiots for the price of one. How about joining them, mummy? I would finally get rid of your annoying presence." Tofu offered with a glare.

Taker, with a deceptively bright smile and lighthearted tone answered. "I will break you into so many pieces Dalia won't even recognize you as anything more than a bunch of splinters not even usable as toothpicks." I eyed the two, worriedly hiding behind Biscuit.

"What do you say Biscuit? Should we leave them and go play outside?" I offered the dog, which instantly brightened at the word 'play'. Jumping up and down in excitement, I left the boys to do... boy things.

I would have my fun playing with Biscuit. Sweet cute innocent Biscut I can only trust you.

"Hey!" Tofu growled.

"Liaaaaa~!" Taker whined.

"Woof!" Biscuit barked.

I just sighed shaking my head.

Idiots.  
The lot of them.


	46. Chapter 45

**Here you have another chapter! Enjoy!**

 **magibear: That does sound like something Dalia would do! I'm glad you like this story, it always makes my day hearing people like it! Thankfully Taker can make more cookies for Dalia. And he has quite a few cookies squireled away so Dalia doesen't eat them all. I'm pretty sure Dalia already found them while... "looking" for Taker.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler, Yana Toboso does.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

"So... what are we going to do now?" I asked the reaper, who was eyeing the dark shop with an absent look in his eyes.

"Mhmm? Oh. Well." He cleared his throat, shaking his head to clear it from whatever thoughts had been plaguing his mind. "I want to break the earl and the demon's contract. Don't worry about it, I'm already having a look at what can be done. Meanwhile, why don't you finish whatever Zephyr wanted of you?"

"Zephyr wanted something from me?" I blinked in surprise.

"..." He stared silently for a few minutes before I started to fidget. Taker had a poker face good enough to fool anyone, but I knew better. I could _feel_ his exasperation coming off in waves from him, and it wasn't a nice feeling to be the target of such emotion.

"Okay. I'll just... go see what he wanted." I awkwardly pointed in a random direction, sadly I was prevented from leaving by the reaper I was fleeing from, who took me into his arms like I was a plushy. Instinctively I turned into my chibi form to avoid awkward manhandling. And because I liked the feeling of being smothered by Taker's strong arms.

"No you're not. I know that dance and song and you will come back in a few minutes crying for my help, which will end up with me stranded somewhere. Nope." Taker, bless his heart for his patience sat me on his lap as I looked up at him with a pout and red cheeks.  
That... does sound vaguely familiar. Did that happen already?

"If I remember correctly..." Taker continued, ignoring my antics. "...Zephyr is sick and tired of being locked up in your dimension, has promised to stop pestering thanks to a very insightful conversation in which Tofu deigned to make his presence known..." he trailed off, and I could swear I heard him mutter something about 'stupid clowns' and 'leaving him there anyways' but I could have misheard. "Ahem." He cleared his throat and carried on. "Anyways. We reached an agreement. We let Zephyr go and he will do something for us." He finished, making me nod enthusiastically, even if I had no idea of what Zephyr would do for us.

"Okay!" I nodded happily.

Until Taker playfully smacked my head. "Lia! I'm not finished! Don't be so quick to trust a former enemy~! For all we know Zephyr could actually be waiting to make his move." He wisely pointed out, although he didn't put any heat in his words, making me believe that for all of his reprimanding tone, he didn't actually think Zephyr would be a problem.

"Oh... can't we just... like... be friends?" I asked, making Taker give a long suffering sigh as he looked upwards as if asking for patience.

"Lia. While that's adorable and cute, not everyone is as good intentionally as you want them to be. People lie, Lia." He seriously stated, patting my head like I was a puppy he had to discipline.

"But... he's not bad. Just a little bit too angry... and rude... and violent... and maybe he's not the greatest person to have around, but he's not bad. Really." I insisted, looking at Taker's deadpan eyes.

"..." He said nothing, just stared at me. I was internally hoping I had gotten through to him. "I hope you are listening to your own words because you are _not_ selling this case. At all." Sadly, I couldn't read the mood, because he seemed to be waiting for _me_ to realize something. I don't know what, though.

"Uh... I don't get it."

He sighed again, shaking his head for good measure. "Never you mind, dear. You just need to know that I love you despite you being an idiot." He smiled softly, the smirk he wore a bit more amused than necessary, but otherwise calm.

Okay?

"I still don't get it" I frowned. What did that have to do with anything?

Taker is confusing.

"So~" I jumped when Taker loudly pulled me out of my confusion. "My~ my~ it seems I have quite a lot of work to do~ he he he~" he giggled, wide smile on his face.

"What do I do then?" I eagerly asked, awaiting his words.

"You just stay there and look pretty" he patted my head, making me whine in outrage.

"No way!"

"You're right! My bad! You're already pretty, what was I thinking?! You just sit there and smile then." He quickly retorted, prompting me to start pulling his hair in an attempt to get that empty brain of his to work properly.

"Takeeeer!" I whined. "I want to heeeeelp!"

"Mhmm... toy soldier I'll leave her to you while I deal with Zephyr~" Taker, traitorous Taker fled the scene as Tofu walked up to me and stared. Hard.  
I shrank into a ball to avoid his stare, trying to ignore the daggers he seemed to shoot from his eyes to the best of my ability.

"So..." He looked down on me like one would look at a naughty child. I took a paper and put it up to hide me from the clown's stare. "What to do with you... I could send you on a wild goose chase... you would probably never realize it... ever." He mused making me peek from behind the paper I had hid behind.

"Eh... Tofu I can hear you..." I mumbled, but to no avail. The clown didn't react to my words at all.

"Mhmmm..." he kept musing, completely ignoring me.

That was until Taker ran to me like a bat out of hell, glaring daggers at the place where I had been hiding.  
"You didn't tell me Phantomhive had passed through here!" He accused, making me blink and realize that, oh. Yes I had completely forgot.

"Ah... Well... I..." I mumbled, sweating buckets from the combined glare of both Tofu and Undertaker.

I instantly fled to the instant dungeon, where an angry Zepahnie glared at me too.

Why was everyone angry with me today? It's not like I had done it on purpose.

Pudding barked and jumped over to sniff at me which made me realize that I had forgotten the dog here. Again.

I'm a horrible persoooon!

Internally wailing, Zephanie's glare seemed a little bit more… well-deserved than a second ago, as I absently petted Pudding's head.

Did I forget anything else? I hope not. I don't want more people glaring at me.

I'll just... hide here for a while. I just hope Zephanie will stop glaring at me soon enough.

* * *

"I feel like a princess!" Taker gushed from where I had taken him into my arms. All in all, it was a ridiculous sight: a tall grown man being carried like a princess by a girl a full head shorter than himself.

It was fun.

"Can I be the dragon?" I asked, small smile on my face and giddy feeling in my chest.

"I thought Biscuit was the dragon? They can spit fire." As if prompted by the mortician's words, Biscuit burped a small fireball. Taker looked at me in confusion completely ignoring the small fire Biscuit had unintentionally created and was now trying to put out. By barking at it. "Wouldn't you rather be the knight in shining armor? You will get a kiss from the princess." He tempted, devilish smirk giving him a mischievous air as he looped his arms around my neck in case I 'forgot' to hold him. Hercules gave the fire an uninterested look, maybe contemplating if it was edible, before deciding fire didn't look that yummy after all and returning to his hay.

"But I don't have any armor..." I pouted, looking at my beautiful furisode. It wasn't shining either, but it was a gift from Kim and I wouldn't wear anything else unless really necessary. The fire had apparently attracted Captain Socks the Terrible, who gave a warning hiss before running inside to hide.

"We can overlook that fact." He waved off, making me smile once again. Good~ good~.

"Fire!" Someone shouted from behind us. Not that we cared, Taker and I had already started skipping towards the shop, leaving others to deal with the small... problem.

"Takeeer... does that mean I can get a kiss?" I looked up at him, cheeks red and small smile.

"Awww~ of course you can~ come here Lia~!" The mortician gave me no time to react and closed the distance between us, leaving me a breathless, happy Dalia.

That felt good.

"Woof!" Biscuit jumped up and down, trying to either warn us about the fire or join us in our cuddle fest.

They got a hug and a pat in case it was the second option.

"Taker..." I started, drawing the words a bit to give myself more time to think. "Can I help? With Zephany, I mean... or with Phantomhive. I want to help. Is there anything I can do to help?" I looked up at the mortician in my arms who was struggling to get on his feet now that we were inside. He stopped to look at me when he heard me talk, though.

"Mhmm..." he seemed to ponder it for a long while, giving me a considering gaze. "Potions" he finally said, making me blink in confusion. "I need some more potions to test a certain... suspicion I have. Do you think you could do that?" He got to his feet, towering over me and patting my head with a somewhat fond look in his eyes.

"Yes! I can! I'll do it immediately! I will give you lots of them!" I excitedly stated, making the mortician sweatdrop and try to stop me before I ran off.

"Wait- No wait for a second-" Too late, as I had already entered the instant dungeon before I could listen to his words.  
Slowly realizing he hadn't been done talking I turned back, facing an unamused mortician as he bonked me over the head.

I pouted.

"Don't give me that wet puppy look. You will have to learn to temper your enthusiasm." He chided me, making me unable to look him in the eye without feeling like I was an idiot. "Awww... cheer up, you will make me feel bad~" he finally relented on trying to make me heed his stern warning, giving me a hug that made me feel nice and loved. "Alright Dalia. Listen to me closely." I opened my eyes and ears wide not to miss anything. It seemed like he was going to say something really important. "You." He pointed at me. "Are going to send me a party." He stated seriously. My whole brain just... short-circuited from being unable to understand his words.

"What?" I stared blankly at the reaper, making him sigh and mutter something about fish-like memory.

"A celebration, dear." He clarified, but that didn't help me any. Why did he need to throw a party? Was it someone's birthday? "Your powers Dalia." I kept staring blankly, nothing coming to mind. Taker's eye twitched dangerously. "If you got lost or needed to ask me something and I wasn't nowhere around, what would you do?" He asked, maybe trying to help me remember what he was talking about.

"I would cry." I stated seriously. "That and wait until you came back." The reaper's eyes showed that was definitely NOT the answer he was expecting.

"Lia... I love you but sometimes..." he trailed off, seemingly about to attempt another approach. "Look, remember the ability Tofu gave you?" He asked, looking for all purposes like he already knew the answer to his question but was hoping he was wrong.

"Not at all." I shamelessly stated. What was he talking about?

...

...

Oooooh! That! The gamer thingy, right?

Hope seemed to enter his eyes at the realization on my face.  
"Yes, that. You won't happen to remember the things you were able to do with that, right?" He carefully attempted to help me remember. I tried to remember all of the things I could do with that.

"Uh... the dungeon thingy... the inventory... eh..." I stared blankly at Taker for a good while, trying to remember some of the skills I had. "Uhmm... healing? Eh... the stats? I haven't leveled up in a while, though..." Taker watched silently, judging gaze never straying from my own eyes. I started to feel uncomfortable. "Uhh... the map? Although it doesn't work very well..." I looked away from the mortician, his intense eyes not helping my nerves at all.

Uh... I can't remember! There's so many things to do! Tofuuuuu! Why did you make an ability so hard to remember?!

"I didn't make it hard to remember! You're just very bad at remembering things!" Tofu, as if summoned from the deepest pits of hell, appeared in a whirlwind of fire and smoke, all fury and maybe and offended air around him.

"Help meee!" I wailed at the toy, receiving nothing but a dignified huff.

"No way. That will teach you to start remembering important details. Just remember what the mummy said: it has to deal with communications, a party." He pointed out, making me blink at the two of them.

Maybe it was because I was nervous and I never worked well under pressure, but his words weren't ringing any bell at all. "I have a skill to throw parties?! Ah... communications... I" flailing my hands desperately I started to say things off the top of my head, the two unamused faces looked more desperate by the minute. It was obvious I was failing.

"You know what? I'll leave you to it. I have a fire to take care of." Tofu bailed out, not even staying long enough to enjoy the betrayal crossing through the reaper's face before being replaced by despair.

Grumbling something nasty about demons, Taker put his hands on my shoulders to calm me down. "Uh... I..." I mumbled as I let him calm me down. "Sorry... I'm a mess." I bit my lip not looking up to see his expression.

"Aren't we all? Come on Lia. Let me help you remember." And with Saint like patience, we made a complete walkthrough the time I got lost near a school, multiple times. And when that didn't help -I got lost so many times it was hard remembering a single occasion- we talked about that time when we... _he_ fought Zephyr and how I got lost but still found my way to the place I was supposed to. That did help me tons in realizing we were talking about the party thing... I mean, not a party but a... the group thingy to level up...

Whatever. What he wanted was for me to keep in touch with him by inviting him into one, so that if something happened we could warn each other. I think it was a great idea. Apparently Taker had come up with such a great idea while I... had accidentally locked him in a dungeon.  
I fidgeted nervously. I'm still guilty about that...

But now that we could talk with each other despite being far away, I could actually go into the dungeon and get potions to help Phantomhive. At least I'm guessing it's for Phantomhive. I would hit Taker if it turned out this was for his stupid dolls.

"Taker. The potions are for Phantomhive, right?" I wrote, my fingers feeling slightly numb from the cold of the ice dungeon. It was way better than the water one, and I didn't particularly feel like getting burnt in the lava one. Besides, the Yukionna here were really pretty. I almost felt bad when I had to bash them into multiple ice-like pieces. I felt worse for my frying pan, though. The old thing looked like it was about to break any second. Stupid industrial things, they don't last as long as they used to. And when I say 'used to' I meant 'Victorian era used to' I had to give it to them: in this time, tools are surprisingly resilient. I would have to use the stick Taker gave me or I would lose the frying pan.

Seeing as there were a lot of things I had forgotten, I considered I should have another look at my skills.  
Mhmm... I forgot to keep researching the clay golems... I mean... minions. They couldn't be called golems quite yet.

Ah! My only ranged attack! I remember I liked that one a lot! It feels sort of nostalgic, considering I have not fought for a while. I doubt carrying Taker on my back and making laps is considered training anymore. It stopped being so when I stopped getting tired doing it and became a game of sorts. I should come up with other training methods...

I almost missed Taker's response to my message that told me to concentrate on the important things or I would end up lost in thought while the enemies surrounded me. That only happened in the Zombie dungeon, thank you very much.

His warning came right in time, as a white figure hopped in my direction with adorable determination, its rabbit-like legs making it cover a great distance while the white fur helped it be undetected.

It would be adorable, if I didn't know it was a very dangerous creature. Its legs had sent me flying a great distance a few times I had lowered my guard thanks to its adorable fluffy look.

It was a rabbit, I could be excused. Who wouldn't look at a giant white rabbit and not think it was the cutest thing around? Taker probably. But I wasn't Taker and when I saw it my first instinct was always to hug it. So fluffy...

I cried lots when I had to send a barrage of [Magic Projectile] in its direction, luckily it managed to avoid some. But not all. The poor thing, for all of its breakneck speed and dangerously strong attacks was frail and dissolved into dust when it got hit. The poor rabbit...

When it dropped the objects, instead of the more common red potions I was given a blue one. This one healed magic instead of health, but I'm not sure if this is what Taker had in mind when he sent me to get potions. Well it's technically a potion, and it was quite rare compared to other potions.

Well, I lie. It's not actually that rare. The thing is... blue potions are usually dropped by creatures of the so-called 'river' dungeon. The deep ocean-like shark-infested hellhole in which the most horrific creatures spawned from Tofu's mind resided. Nope, no way am I going there without one hell of a good reason. Now I just need a few more potions. If I manage to get a yellow potion that the creatures of this place were _supposed_ to drop, I would be more than happy to go to the next. It was supposed to heal stamina, but because I never ran out of that anymore I had never felt the need to go on a potion-hunt.

In fact I think I only got one of those potions ever. And I spent it when I drank it to see what it was supposed to do.

...

...

Wait. Didn't I have a skill to give me information about objects?!

If Taker hears I forgot about [Observe] _again_ , he will have my head on a platter. Or maybe he will come up with some kind of punishment to 'help' me remember my skills.

I shuddered, and this time, it wasn't because of the cold.  
Nope. He will never hear of that. Especially if he learns I decided to test an unknown potion by _drinking_ it. Even if I doubt Tofu would be as cruel as to...

Never mind. I just remembered those fruits I had loved so much, despite the fact they made me sick. Tofu definitely can and will mess with me if I give him the opportunity. Huh. I guess Taker was right from the start then.

Go figures.

After possibly destroying the natural balance of the dungeon by destroying not-so-poor, innocent-looking rabbit-murder-machines I returned to Taker.  
I had saved a few red healing potions in my inventory, so I only needed the blue and yellow ones. I should probably get the green ones, though... they were supposed to heal any status effect but... I wasn't very keen on searching the monster that dropped it on my own.

...

Maybe later.

...

Okay, okay... I will gooo...

I hadn't been in the shop for more than a second that I found Tofu glaring at me like I had personally offended him. A small sadistic smile almost completely hidden by the scowl. My whole being shuddered at what made his smile so sadistically. He knew.

Entering the dungeon mostly inhabited by trolls, goblins and other almost-humanoid creatures I reluctantly started looking for one of the only non-humanoid monsters of this dungeon.

It's not like the creature was that strong, and it wasn't particularly fast either. Its attacks were laughably weak, but...  
Yeah. I wasn't laughing. I didn't want to face that thing.

Carefully taking my furisode off -I had learned from last time damnit!- and storing it in my inventory, I reluctantly approached the... thing.

It was a slime. Of a grass green color like the potion there usually dropped, and while slimes were supposed to be one of the first creatures you encounter in a game, being one of the weakest, these slimes...

They were... very resilient.

No matter how many projectiles I sent in its direction, the thing took them head on, making water-like ripples on its surface but otherwise looking no worse of the wear. The magic balls that managed to hit it slowly sank into the slime, being digested by the thing.

I couldn't really harm it with my projectiles directly, but I could give him a stomachache. Or the slime equivalent of it. Eating its prey alive was the only real attack of the slime and it took an awfully long time. Once caught it was really hard to escape, but I could always leave the dungeon and the slime was unable to follow me. At least not since that time we almost unleashed a human-eating slime in London. It wasn't very funny, and Tofu agreed these things would stay in this dungeon, no exceptions.

I shuddered again, not wanting to be caught inside the thing when it exploded.

Sending a few more projectiles in its direction I sighed in relief when it made the telltale signs of being about to explode in a burst of hard jelly-like mucus.  
Sadly, I was so concerned about not being caught by the slime I was fighting, I hadn't noticed the other company until I felt a cool, soft sensation against my back. Looking behind me I saw a wall of jelly.

Damnit.

The newly arrived slime tackled me, enveloping me in its unpleasantly cold insides, a tingling sensation on my skin. Nothing else. My health hadn't even started dropping yet. When I said it took a long time eating its prey, I wasn't kidding. At least being inside protected me when the other slime exploded in a burst of goo.

Unlucky, I couldn't really swim in the quicksand-like jelly. Luckily, I didn't really _need_ to be outside to make it explode. I internally thanked the stars I had saved the furisode even if that meant less protection against the slime's... digestive system.

Not that I needed it. I would be gone before that thing could even think of start eating me.

I just needed to expel an amount of magic the slime couldn't take inside itself. Without blowing myself out, preferably. In my research of the not-sentient-but-still-moving clay structures, I had learnt magic was... volatile.

I could probably take the hit if I was in my chibi form, as it reduced the damage taken by a lot. Sadly it also reduced the damage I gave.

Not that I needed to _damage_ it, I just needed to become a magic bomb inside the thing and this form did help with that a bit, as it helped regenerate MP and HP. If I was using [Chibi Form] the slime was virtually unable to eat me.

Ah... when I get out I will be all slimy and disgusting... this is why I don't like slimes.

* * *

He laughed. The bastard had the gall to laugh like a madman when I arrived completely covered in slime and singed hair, with his damned potions in hand and an angry face that in my chibi form looked more like a drowned cat than the rightful fury I felt inside.

"Aww~ come on~ so adorable~!" He attempted to get me to stop pouting, failing because he was unable to keep a straight face as he tried.

"There you have your stupid potions. I got one of each because I didn't know which one you wanted. I'll go bathe." I growled at his hysterical cackling.

"Wait, you mean there is more than just the red potion?" Taker made a 180 degree change looking at the potions with a wicked, inquisitive look. I uncomfortably looked from side to side.

"Uh... Yes?" I tried to look as inconspicuous as possible, giving a sigh of relief when the mortician seemed more interested in testing the shiny new toys than asking questions that would get me in trouble.

"I'll go bathe!" I all but ran upstairs to do just that, not wanting to try my luck.

Sadly, my luck had already run out by the time I came downstairs again, this time all nice and clean.

Taker was looking at me with that reprimanding look in his eyes, making me feel like I did something horrible. Horrible and stupid. Or more like someone informed Taker of the stupid things I had done while he wasn't looking.  
"Tofu tattled on you." Taker threw the toy under the bus before he even got to start on chastising me.

"Traitor!" I snapped at Tofu right as he did the same to Taker.

Taker laughed. At least someone was having fun.


	47. Chapter 46

**Okay, I know what you're thinking and yes, it's short. I really had little time thanks to summer break being over and having to get used to not having free time again. Sniff.  
As you can probably see, the book of Murder is upon us already and Taker got Dalia involved right in the middle of it... not that he knew, of course. Probably suspects, like Sebastian and 'Ciel' do, but no one really expected the utter bullshit that went down there. I feel kind of bad because she won't like it one bit, but I guess this is one way of getting my revenge for all the derailed (and destroyed) plots I had. It's kind of petty and will probably regret it come next chapter. **

**Lavendor Queen: That... is actually a question I ask myself more often that I probably should. Probably hard work and taking lots of notes (which would actually explain why missing a single class was such a horrible happening to her). She is like a stupid dog you are really fond of. You get angry because they keep shitting on your floor, but can't really bring yourself to stop loving them. And... well, I guess she can be sort of forgiven, if we have in mind a few years have passed since she really used her powers... nope, she's just a birdbrain. The memory span of a fish, I swear.**

 **magibear: Poor Dalia doesen't like to hurt others. She really is precious. I wouldn't say I'm that good, I guess I just kept training my brain to give me ideas by writing them every time I had one and now I just have too many of them to choose from. The main problem is having the characters do as _I_ want instead of doing whatever _they_ want. Still a work in progress. I'm really really glad to hear you like this so much! It makes me incredibly happy to know people like it! **

**Disclaimer: Black Butler is owned by the great and mighty Yana Toboso, not me.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Cleaning the pots we had used for dinner was usually a surprisingly relaxing activity, as I could wholeheartedly concentrate on the task at hand and avoid suffering the consequences of having my mind stray to thoughts I would rather left buried.

'Usually' being the keyword.

It had been a small conversation, meaningless in the rather big scheme of things, a simple customer that was a little too pushy when it came to what they wanted, but people weren't normally the most rational when they came to this shop, as it almost always meant they had recently lost someone close to them, so it wasn't anything new, nothing I couldn't deal with.

Until they had said those words.

Those words I had heard so many times before, years had passed since I heard them last, but when I heard them again, with a new voice and a different tone, I felt like I was a scared child once again, the utter gut-wrenching fear that gripped my heart with a cold iron fist, digging what felt like knives into my stomach I could do nothing but run to the bathroom and dump the contents of my lunch into the toilet.

I don't know what happened to the customer after that. Taker came out and took over for me as I locked myself in the bathroom until I felt calm enough to make dinner. No one said anything as we ate, but I could feel Taker's dangerous mood from where I sat.

I felt guilty.

I should have been more professional. What did it matter what someone said? It was a client and I should have attended them with a smile, no matter what came out of their mouth. Taker was now angry because I made him drop what he was doing to attend the client. I was a horrible assistant and friend. Why couldn't I...?

I took a deep breath. My hands stopping the washing of the dishes to hit my own head with the pot I had been cleaning.

Idiot idiot idiot! Now you can't even wash dishes properly! Useless!

A pair of hands gently taking the pot away startled me enough to jump and almost crash headfirst into the sink. If it weren't for a pair of gentle hands holding me in place I would have made an even bigger mess than I already had.

The pot the hands held was digging uncomfortably into my stomach, so I tried to take it away to continue my previous activity, not acknowledging the Undertaker standing behind me, watching me with sharp eyes behind his silver hair.

How could I face him when I was so useless? I couldn't. I really couldn't.

"Dalia" he called me. His voice was calm and gentle as if he was talking to a startled doe. It made me feel even more helpless. I didn't deserve being talked to so nicely. He should be angry. "What happened?" His had was soft and pleasantly cool, making it seem like a polished marble statue was caressing my cheek, urging me too look at him.

"Mhmm... Nothing. I was just stupid." I mumbled, weakly fighting the urge to look at his eyes, silently begging for forgiveness, because I knew he was nice enough to forgive me, and I didn't deserve 'nice'.

"I beg to differ. While it is true you are being stupid right now, not wanting to tell me what's wrong, I don't believe whatever made you like this was 'stupid'. So tell me. Was it that customer? I already dealt with that, you don't have to worry." His calm facade briefly broke and a wicked smile played on his lips. He was out for blood.

"I'm fine. Did you take care of Mrs. Miller? She was..." I trailed off, trying to remember the details.

"I did. I'll be giving her the perfect funeral for her, don't worry. Are you sure I cannot do anything to chase that sadness away~?" He playfully smirked, knowing I wouldn't be able to resist smiling back at him.

Right as planned, the corners of my treacherous mouth pulled upwards without my permission, making me smile at him despite my refusal to acknowledge his attempt.

"You... go bald." I mumbled, lacking words to express my gratitude for making me happy.

"Aww~ such cruel words~ why would you want me to go bald? You love my hair" he chuckled, moving some of my hair away from my face to have a better look.

"Cuz'..." I started, looking aside so he wouldn't see my quickly widening smile. "If you go bald, that means I can make a wig out of your hair. And I'll keep it for myself." I giggled when Taker nodded gravely as if he understood perfectly what I was talking about, but to stop short and make an indignant whine as he complained about something or another.

Taker wasn't perfect. He was very creepy, liked jokes a bit too much to be normal, snored when he slept, liked to use all the hot water when he bathed, ate for three whenever he had the chance and he liked to act more like a whining child than an older-than-dirt god of death. Even so, he could still be calm and gentle, he was very perceptive and cared a lot even if he didn't show it through normal means. He was...

He wasn't perfect, but he was more than enough.

Besides, his drooling sleepy face was too cute, I wouldn't change it for the world. Even if he did wake me up from time to time with his snores.

Tackling him into a hug he hadn't been expecting we went tumbling to the floor, Taker's lean body cushioning mine as we crashed.

"Oomph! Lia~? What was that~?" Taker asked, but I didn't respond. I just hid my face in his neck, enjoying his presence next to me. He was here. I wasn't back. Everything would be fine. I was safe.

"Takeeeeer!" I looked up to see him flinch in confusion at my wavering voice and teary eyes.

"Wha- are you okay?" He asked with more concern that I deserved. I was fine. I was just an idiot.

"I... thank you." I mumbled. The only words I could actually get out with my bubbling voice and teary face. "Thank you..."

"Oh~? You're welcome dear. You are very welcome." He softly pat my head like one would a dog, a small smile playing on his lips.

* * *

"I heard you are going to be hosting a party, my lord~ are you perhaps here to invite us~?" Taker didn't waste time before assaulting the latest person to enter our humble shop, and I didn't take much longer before doing the same.

"As always, you are frighteningly well-informed, Undertaker. But my visit here is to obtain information about a recent incident with one of my contacts." Earl Phantomhive tried to say seriously with some sort of suave grace, but ended up squeaking the words from where he was trapped in my hug.

"Awww~ the earl doesn't give me any attention anymore~? Did you perhaps forget that everything has a price~? I do know the answer you are looking for, but I would like to get something in exchange too~" Taker drawled in a smooth fashion despite the goofy, creepy tone he liked to use with Phantomhive.

Before the earl could call on his faithful demon dog, Taker all but pounced the kid, putting a finger over his lips to silence him.

"Ah, ah~!" He hummed in a singsong voice, making the earl visibly shudder. "I would like to request a different form of payment this time." He continued, more seriously this time. I startled at the reaper's words, as did the earl and the butler. Taker didn't usually ask anything other than laughter of the earl, for that to change...

"I am guessing you are not going to suddenly ask hard payment from me, so what is it? I am assuming you are going to ask a favor out of me." The earl tried to put on a grown up mask in face of the unexpected change, but he still looked quite ridiculous from where he was hanging in the air, with me hugging him like he was a plushy.

The reaper's face suddenly gained a nostalgic look, making me remember they Taker and Vilvent usually traded favors like no one's business. If I am correct, Taker still owed the late earl of Phantomhive, after his untimely demise.

"Nothing like that." He mumbled, his eyes still somewhat lost in the past. "I happen to have certain duties far away from London, and I wouldn't trust my little assistant not to somehow destroy my shop while I am gone..." I made an offended gasp. For starters, I would NOT do anything to destroy the shop. Second: say what?! Since when is Taker leaving? Why am I the last to hear of this? I thought we had talked about this!

Grrr...

I gave Taker the most baleful stink eye I was able to produce, and was satisfied when he flinched slightly.

"I see..." the earl seemed to ponder the proposal for a while, trying futilely to escape my embrace. "You certainly have a very bad timing for imposing this on me. As you already know, I _am_ planning a private event in my manor." He looked at the mortician, seemingly considering if he could try to wiggle something else from this arrangement, Taker withstanding his look seemingly unconcerned.

After a sigh, the earl accepted the offer if Taker gave him the important information without theatrics or vague answers. You tell me who did this, I'll take care of your pet. His words, not mine. The pet in this case being none other than me.

It was only after the earl left after assuring us they would be back to pick me up, that the mortician gave in and explained what the hell was all that about.

"It's a mission." He seriously stated, making my eyes go wide and my spine straighten up to attention. "You know what to do, do not fail or the consequences will be..." he left the sentence hang in the air and I felt myself start to sweat slightly. I... I had a mission? And I was supposed to already know what it was about? I don't!

"W-what do I do?" I managed to mumble, anticipation tickling my stomach.

"You? Nothing at all. I was talking to the stupid toy. He knows what to do and won't fail if he knows what's good for him. You're just supposed to carry him around." Taker made a 360 degree change, waving his hand like the mere thought of me being in charge of anything was ludicrous.

I really, _really_ felt like hitting him right then and there.

"Anyways~ just be a good girl and do as Phantomhive says, okay~? And if Tofu asks you to do something..." he seemed to think what he was going to say very carefully, as if he was afraid giving me a direct order would have adverse effects. "Just... _think_ it through before doing anything, okay?" He ended up stressing, giving a nasty glare at the toy in my arms.

Tofu didn't bother acknowledging the reaper at all, he just continued acting like a toy, even if I could swear I heard him say over and over something about 'terrible retribution'. Hope I misheard the punishment he had planned for Taker because... ouch. That didn't sound nice at all.

"Undertaker!" A kid's voice came from out of the shop, urging us to leave already before it started raining.

It hasn't been raining for a while but it seems like that would change in a few days, the sky was always grey and cloudy, but right now I could swear I saw thunderclouds on the horizon. I hope that's just smoke.

"Bye bye~ take care of my little assistant, earl~" Taker waved from where he was in front of the shop. I felt like getting off the carriage to give him yet another hug before leaving. Sadly, I think if I do that the butler will tie me up to the carriage so I cannot escape. Maybe because we should have left five minutes ago? He looks like someone who likes to be on schedule.

Urgh! This is going to be... an interesting stay. I can feel it.


	48. Chapter 47

**Okay guys here is another chapter of Fun and Games. I've been very busy these days and haven't had time to write much, so these chapters are shorter and will take longer for me to write them.**

 **I don't believe I will be able to keep making a chapter a week because of my new schedule, so I want to ask you readers if you w** **ould rather have long chaters that take longer to write or have shorter chapters that will take less time to make?**

 **Disclaimer: Black Butler is owned by the great and mighty Yana Toboso, not me.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

The skies were grey as I looked through the window of Phantomhive's state. Lost in my thoughts, I wondered if it was my imagination, but the sky had always seemed clearer and sunnier whenever Taker was with me. Then again, maybe it was just my imagination.

It had been threatening to rain since the day I arrived at the Phantomhive estate, like it was some kind of warning. Tofu had been asking me to go places randomly and I could do nothing but obey. He was very... convincing.

Being here wasn't that bad, I got to know better Phantomhive's household staff... all of whom are very nice. The blond guy was a bit intimidating at first, but he was a good person. The redhead was also a good person if a bit... uncertain? She seemed to always bobble up and down like a newborn puppy, tripping over nothing. It made me feel a bit anxious, as I kept thinking she was about to hurt herself, but luckily she was tougher than she looked. And she had really big breasts, so I was kind of jealous of her... _assets_. Maybe that's why she tripped over so much. In that case I'm glad I don't have her breasts, even if it would be nice to have them.

Finny was the nicest person I had ever met, he liked animals and tending to the beautiful garden Biscuit had once destroyed... an incident I was never going to mention around him, of course.

I had promised to introduce Biscuit to him, as he liked hearing stories about them being a cute dorky dog, but I probably should have thought that over... Biscuit wasn't a normal dog by any standards... Uh-oh.

In return for Biscuit's adventures, Finny told me stories about the animals he finds while he works and the Phantomhive staff's daily misadventures and mischief.

The butler was... still an ass, unsurprisingly. He always ordered the poor servants around and scolded them a lot. And in the end he just pushes them aside to do it himself. They will never learn to do things like that!

So mean, I bet he does it because he enjoys ordering them around! I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

At least that meant I could spend more time with the servants than I normally would be able to.

The day of the party was quickly approaching and I... didn't know what to do. Aside from talking to the servants and heeding Tofu's sudden orders, I had no idea what to do with myself. Should I help? I had tried cleaning the floor, just to get scolded by the maid saying that a guest shouldn't work. Then the bad butler came and scolded _her_ for letting me do her job _and_ me. Just for the hell of it.

What a prick.

The earl was always busy studying or preparing for the party, and it made me realize that being an earl was _horrible_. I mean... the house is nice, but the work is boring as hell, the poor kid can barely get his head out of whatever reports long enough to order the servants around, study or play chess. It's not surprising he takes every opportunity he can to mess with his butler. That's honestly the highlight of my day. And probably the Earl's. Tofu also enjoys it too, if the barely suppressed mad cackling is any indication.

In any case, the day of the party finally came and I couldn't be more excited about it: it meant I was ever closer to going back with Taker, and I kind of miss the old dork. And Biscuit, Pudding, Captain Socks the Terrible, and Hercules... and maybe even Stephyr. Stephyr? Stefan? That guy we locked for over a year in a parallel dimension. Him.

The setting party was really elegant but not overly so, the guests slowly came in and all but the guest of honor had already arrived and were waiting to be welcomed in.

That demon of a butler had given me a light blue dress and politely threatened me to wear it. He's... scary. Scary as hell. No pun intended.

I eyed the people I would have to spend the night with. The Chinese man I distantly remembered from that time he and the earl came into our shop to learn about Jack the Ripper, and a beautiful Chinese girl were waiting close to each other, which made me think they came together.

Not far from them a dark bearded man whose most notable trait was carrying a diamond ring on each finger. That person was obviously filthy rich if he could go around like that without fearing they would steal his valuables. Or most likely he didn't care if they got stolen because he was even richer than the diamonds themselves betrayed. I instantly disliked the man. He looked like a prick, and he wasn't even handsome enough for me to explain it away with that. He looked the typical rich person that doesn't care about those of lower status than himself.

The man was talking -or bullying, from the other person's tense posture- a meek-looking boy with blond hair that kind of made me want to hug him. He looked like he was about to cry or pass out at any moment. Not far from the Chinese pair, another man stood awkwardly looking around, the poor guy seemed even more lost than me and that is saying something.

A lanky man carrying a beautiful blond woman by his arm were nearby talking and giggling in hushed tones. The woman was... surprisingly familiar to me. And beautiful. Really, really beautiful. Like drop dead gorgeous.

Mhmm... I swear I know that woman... but where? And what was her name...?

Mhmmm...

The brown haired man that seemed so lost that it made me hurt for him made a high pitched squeak that made me turn around just to find him talking to the Chinese pair. I distantly remembered the horrible jokes both the man and the Earl's aunt had told me and Taker, and I worried they were abusing him. Of course they were, I still remember fainting from that experience... although that had been the aunt's fault mostly. I still felt entitled to distrust him. No one that bad at telling jokes can be completely trusted.

The earl descended down the stairs and everybody cut their hushed conversations short to look at him. He looked as cute and adorable as ever. I would have hugged him right then and there, but the butler was nearby and I was still scared of being close to him without Taker around as a wall to hide behind. Now that I think about it, he may still be angry about me thinking he was a dog, so he may have reasons to dislike me... but for that long? I mean... I had apologized right? Can't remember if I did.

In any case, the butler was cross with me for whatever reason and I would rather not test how far his patience goes.

We stood there for a minute listening to the earl trying to be an adult, which I completely ignored, before the guest of honor finally arrived through the front door, revealing it was raining and probably had been for a while. A white haired young man and and intimidating-looking person greeted the earl. The older person was even more intimidating than rich.

Wait. Filthy rich? Mister Rich? Corpse rich? Wealthy dead? Dead rich?

...

...

Died... Diedrich! Him! That guy!

Actually... I think Diedrich is a bit more intimidating than this man... But Diedrich was a good guy. He was nice, even if he was really scary.

This person looks more like a serious man that has a stern resting face. Diedrich is a good guy that has the resting face of an angry bulldog ready to bite off your face.

But he's a good guy! If a bit too serious.

In any case, knowing someone scarier than this person calmed me down a little. After all, Diedrich was scary and he was nice. Nicer than Taker on a good day in any case.

Tofu mumbled something about preferring the dork to the mummy any day, but I don't think anyone said anything about Taker so I don't really know what he's talking about.

The earl and the stern guy walked away and the butler started calling names... I mean... our names... to let us in tye living room, I didn't mean to say he was being rude or anything... he's just a meanie.

Obviously the meek-looking boy-man knee that already, because when he answered to the butler's call for 'Patrick Helped' the boy almost gasped a 'yes' in an almost dismayed voice.

What did the butler do to this poor person? Although he also seemed to be in a similar state when talking to the ring-guy...

...

Maybe the ring-guy wasn't an ass after all.

Speaking of which, he was the next to be called, but because I wasn't listening I only heard his name as . Or something like that.

The next to be called were the pair I had eyeing earlier, the one of which was really familiar for some reason. When she was called by her name I realized why.

Stella! I mean... her name was Irene, not Stella, Irene Diaz. She was the girl that had been with Stella Diaz that time Taker and I went to see her at the opera! I knew I it! Well, not really, but no one needs to know that.

Someone mentioned her being an opera singer, but I was too busy admiring her beauty to see who had confirmed my suspicions.

I sighed dreamily so beautiful... she seemed so calm and sure, a serene beauty as opposed to Stella's blinding radiance.

I was left in a daze of sorts until the butler smacked my face with the page he had been reading from.

He then stressed in a very pointed tone a quite aggravated "Miss Dalia? Are you quite alright?"

By the way he had said that it seemed I had been lost in la la land for a while, and he wasn't happy with me at all.

Only the brown haired man was left, looking at me with a vaguely worried expression. Ah... so he was still here... that would explain why the butler hadn't gotten the knives out yet. Appearances to maintain.

I let a startled yelp and rushed to the dinning room before the butler could question my mental capabilities.

"Mister Arthur Conan Doyle, please follow this way." I heard the butler say to the only remaining man in the entrance hall, and before my mind could process what I heard I made a startled queak, my head turned around so fast I felt my neck protest in pain and I widened my eyes to the size of oranges. Sadly all that expanded eyesight wasn't directed to the path my legs were taking and I smacked directly into a wall with a painful thud.

"An impressive display Miss Dalia. _Truly outstanding_ " The butler's annoying vocie carried on to where I had crumpled on the ground like a house of cards, but I was too busy processing the only normal in the gathering was actually a famous writer that carried over as far as my own time.

Arthur Conan Doyle.

I didn't faint. I _swear_ I didn't.


	49. Chapter 48

**AN: Hey there evryone... I am terribly sorry for not updating in forever. I hadn't forgotten about this story, but I found myself having to set it aside for a while until my life came around again. Sorry, I know it's not a justification, and I can promise that it will not happen again. Mainly because this is the second to last chapter I will write for Fun and Games. Sorry if that makes many of you sad, but I will keep writing and once I have my next story finished I will publish it here so that you won't have to suffer these kind of delays.  
I will publish the next and last chapter soon, I have it finished already since I didn't want to upload this until it was finished. In comparison to this (which took forever and a half to write) the last chapter will be short and will explain what happened at the end of this chapter from a perspective not Dalia's. **

**I cannot say I am completely satisfied with this ending, but I felt it was time to put an end to this. Don't worry, one day, when I am better at writing, I will definitely come back to this and improve it, probably as a rewrite so that those of you whoe enjoyed the original one can still enjoy it even if I change things.**

 **I hope you are all doing good and that you will enjoy this.**

 **Disclaimer: Black Butler belongs to the great and mighty Yana Toboso, I would be proud to be a lowly servant of hers, but I do not even have that privilege.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Well, this was embarrassing.

During the whole dinner she had to put up with a famous person looking at her like she was some kind of horrid fantasy creature. Maybe I was exaggerating, but I certainly wasn't mistaking the concerned glances here and there, as if he was making sure I _really_ was alright. I wasn't, my nonexistent pride was damaged beyond belief and I wanted the earth to swallow me up so I could escape the embarrassment.  
I hadn't been expecting to meet someone famous and made a fool of myself. To avoid being reminded of my slip up, I avoided the two witnesses of my misstep like they were diseased. Could demons have diseases? Mhmm...

The party was surprisingly merry, the food was delicious and Irene turned out to be the nicest person in this side of the earth. And she was beautiful to boot. She even remembered me from the first time Taker and I went to visit her aunt, even if we weren't properly introduced... or talk at all.  
She was still nice, so I stuck to her as much as I could without being a bother, going to stand with the only other people I knew when she seemed busy.

Mao... man ran... Ran Mao? The Chinese girl following the Chinese man around was also quite nice. Even if it made me uncomfortable when she just started groping my chest without warning. Is that a Chinese custom or...? I think she might be a pervert, but with those big eyes she sent my way I really couldn't hold it against her. Her companion's lightly chiding didn't help much. "Now now, behave, ran-Mao~" wasn't exactly the response I had been expecting, but... well, that man was an oddball for sure.  
I had thought he remembered me... up until he asked me who I was. He had been acting like he knew me not even a minute ago! Ugh...

Not that I'm one to talk.

The buffet was the most delicious things I had been able to taste in a good while, and the man, Siemens? Turned out to be a surprisingly merry guy once you gave him enough drinks to kill a small horse from alcohol poisoning.

The earl went to sit with Mr. Doyle, who had been sitting on the sidelines looking a bit dejected. If it wasn't because I was embarrassed from my earlier mishap I would have tried to gather enough courage to talk to him, luckily the earl was a good host and went to do it himself. Such a nice kid. He's a treasure.

I smiled when Mr. Siemens put his bowtie around his head like one of those typical Japanese drunks and started chugging down the wine like it was water. Irene walked up to me once her companion walked away to speak to the earl about something like she had been doing all night. She smiled as she cautiously whispered "I didn't think Lord Siemens would be the kind of person to get this drunk, did you Miss Dalia?" Her eyes sparkles with kindness as she amusedly joined me in watching Lord Siemens say something to the embarrassed-looking maid before turning to us with a tipsy smile.  
Waddling to us as he stopped bullying the blond, meek guy and the maid he swung an arm around each of us to support his weight, a strange expression on his face.

It was really uncomfortable, I wasn't used to anyone touching me besides taker, and Irene didn't seem to appreciate the drunken man's behavior either, but unlike me, she didn't stay silent.

"Please, do release us this instant, I am not the kind of woman to allow such behavior towards my person to go unpunished" Irene frowned at the man, his red face giving no signs of acknowledgement, probably not realizing he was being addressed. Maybe he had too many a drink after all... that is until he started suggesting some... very lewd activities I would only dream of doing with Taker, making me blush in horror and make myself seem smaller.

When Irene took a step backwards, looking like he had just insulted all of her ancestors -and he probably had, if I am to be honest- trying to put distance between them, Mr. Siemens followed in a half drunken stumble, putting both his hands on her shoulders to stabilize himself and leaving me free from the unwanted touch, a fact I used to put the meek guy between me and the drunk man. Not that I thought the meek guy would do much protecting, but at least he would hide me from sight, even if thankfully Mr. Siemens seemed to have forgotten all about me in favor of the obvious beauty in the room.

"I said stop!" The stern shout silenced all conversations in the room and brought everyone's eyes to the commotion, not that Siemens seemed to notice. "Touching me with those indecent hands! I can't stand it anymore!" She took another step backwards, the meek guy proving to be completely useless when he tried to do something without actually doing anything.

Siemens finally managed to get enough wits about him to slur an apology. "I'm so sorry..." What immediately followed said apology made me frown and glare at the drunk man. "When you're dressed like that, I just..." and proceeded to hug the singer despite her obvious displeasure, Mr. Useless walking out of the drunk man's path to look at them in distress... without doing anything other than let me get run over by Siemens, making me fall to the floor on my ass.  
Then, to prove he wasn't completely useless, he finally wailed a "somebody stop Lord Siemens!" While holding both his hands in the air and doing nothing, despite him being the closest to actually stop the man.

Quickly getting to my feet in an attempt to stop the drunk man, Irene proved to be the most awesome woman I had met since... since I met her aunt, actually. She slapped the living daylights out of the man.

"Insolent lecher! You should be ashamed!" She managed to get him a few feet away from her before the man turned to her, and consequently me since I was now in front of her -I was dense not stupid!- before the drunk man growled something in an offended tone and turning to a nearby table.

I watched the earl as he finally reached us with long but firm strides and I turned to Irene, convinced the earl would be able to diffuse the situation, and I concentrated on calming Miss Irene down. Sadly I didn't get very far before she flinched from something behind my back and a few droplets hit my skin, prompting me to turn around again, just to see the earl drenched in... Alcohol? He was a bit young to be drinking... ah. No, Mr. Siemens dumped the contents of a glass on him.

The incident prompted everyone, Mr. Siemens included, to freeze and stare in shock at the earl, giving him the chance to calm things down. It didn't take very long before Irene's companion broke out from his shock and lunged towards Siemens, even throwing a bottle once he was close enough to the table.

Right before the bottle touched the man, Mr. Demon Butler Mc Assface _flew_ across the _freaking room_ at _impossible_ speeds just to catch the bottle perfectly, land on a stepladder I hadn't even noticed was there with the ease of an acrobat, pour the golden liquid down a pyramid of glasses that I know for a fact _wasn't there before_. Of course he could do that, but stopping a woman from being harassed like a decent being or even stopping his master from being wet was obviously outside his capabilities.

Everyone marveled as the ass prattled about the fantastic wine he was pouring, taking a glass from the champagne tower the butler was pouring and forgetting all about the incident that prompted a man to _throw a bottle across the room to hit another man_!

These people...

Thankfully once everyone ensured the two involved parties stayed out of each other's sight -Irene and her friend on one side and Mr. Siemens on the other- the party was able to go one without any more interruptions. The only one who seemed to suffer was the poor maid, she had become a teddy bear of sorts for the drunk man. He wasn't a bad guy, he just seemed to have problems keeping his hands to himself. Ran Mao didn't seem to mind though, which was the reason she got assigned to keeping him company until he finally fell asleep, at which point the butler escorted him to his room.

Sadly the earl decided to use that opportunity to retire for the night, leaving me with only Irene's company to pass the time. I really wanted to go to sleep, too... it was getting cold and I was tired, the constant sound of the rain making me sleepy.

I miss Taker. I would have been able to sleep without problems if he was here. I bet he would have laughed at Mr. Siemens' antics, giggling and cackling. Or maybe he would have been angry? Looking at him with that disapproving frown.

It was past midnight, past any sort of bedtime I had and I had already spent all my energy for the day, leaving me to doze off from time to time. Embarrassingly enough I almost fell asleep on top of Irene once or twice, and I got a light smack on my forehead when I successfully fell asleep against the white haired man whose name I don't quite remember.

"If you're so tired you should go to sleep, all the children should be in bed already" he mumbled with an unrepentant look as he pushed me aside to get a better look at Mr. Doyle's next move.

"Hey! I'm not a child. And I don't sleep very well unless I'm really tired so I can't go yet." Or unless Taker is with me, but I wouldn't say that.

Mr. White haired man looked at me with a blank face... before his eyes settled on the plate of food I had been picking at in an attempt to stay awake.

"Hey. Are you going to eat that?" He pointed vaguely at my plate with the billiard stick he had been using to play, eyeing the appetizers I had stored there for later with unrestrained interest. I wordlessly offered the food for him to take.

I didn't expect him to swipe the whole plate from my hands.

"Hey!" I pouted. I had only meant to offer the appetizers, I still wanted that delicious steak I had claimed for myself.

I was interrupted from protesting further when someone started screaming, making all six of us -that being Irene, her friend, the white haired man, Mr. Useless, Mr. Doyle and myself- get up to run in the direction of the screams.

Feeling my heart beat wildly from the scare of hearing someone screaming I felt wide awake by the time we got in front of a closed door, the servants in front of it. The maid was pounding on the door with obvious distress.

"What's all this noise about?!" the white haired man asked right as the Chinese man and Mr. Wood to check out what was all the screaming about.

The butler kicked the door open, leaving us to gape at the scene inside. A thunder stuck right the second we all managed to lay our eyes on the still body of Mr. Siemens... who seemed to be dead. Someone behind me screamed at the discovery, I was too surprised to do anything but gape. I thought I could at least get away from the dead bodies while here...

A thud and a surprised "Mr. Phelps!" Showed that despite having originally thought the screamer was one of the other girls, it was more than likely it had been Mr. Useless who had... produced the high pitched sound.

I walked over to the body, noticing the pale skin and putting two fingers against his neck. I couldn't find a pulse. I was gently pushed aside before I could continue my examination so Mr. Doyle could try to find a pulse on his hand, also looking into his eyes to try to find some kind of reaction.

"He's dead..." he muttered.

Not that I wanted to sound rude or anything to the creator of Sherlock Holmes but... I was the assistant of a mortician, I should be the one to see if Mr. Siemens was dead or not.

By this point everyone was already in the room, looking at the body in horror and disbelief. Right then the only person who had yet to arrive made his appearance, a frown on his face as he looked around the room.

"What the hell is going on?" The earl walked around everyone and into the room, Tanaka following closely behind. "Lord Siemens..." He finally realized the state of his guest, another thunder striking the ground and lightening the room with an eerie, bluish light.

"I'm pretty sure... this chest wound is the cause of death." Mr. Doyle looked back at the earl, a serious and concerned expression on his face. I wish Taker was here...

Right as Miss Irene's companion said they should avoid touching anything, the cook brought attention to the warmth of the room. That wasn't good for bodies, they decomposed more easily and it made it less... enjoyable to play with them. Taker's words, not mine.

Luckily, I avoided having to deliver the news as the cook beat me to the punch, Irene's hands fisting around my dress as she repeated the word "decay" with dismay.

"We should keep him somewhere cool until a specialist examines the body" Mr. Doyle said, which was a sound suggestion. I opened my mouth before closing it with a click. I wasn't a specialist, no matter how many years I spent helping Taker out with his job. I'm more of a glorified maid anyways.

What would I be able to discover that Mr. Doyle couldn't, anyways? Nothing that would help us out immediately. A possible murder weapon, if anything.

I didn't get a good look at the wound before I got pushed aside, but it was obvious he had a wound on his chest from the blood he had on it. If I cleaned the blood of it I could probably inspect the wound more closely, but from the relatively small amount of blood on his chest that seemed concentrated on one spot, it was possible he had been stabbed with a small weapon like a dagger and got hit in a vital organ like the lungs.

If it had hit the heart more blood would have flowed out, and a wound to the guts wouldn't kill him fast enough, not to mention the wound was squarely placed on his chest, making it an awkward angle anyways. I hadn't seen the wound, but if the organ damaged had been the guts, the attacker would have needed to jump at him from above to match the awkward angle.

I looked up just in case. Nothing out of normal, but it was still good to check anyways. Nobody ever thought to look up.

That left the lungs as the most likely cause of death.

As Finny and Tanaka brought the body downstairs I looked closely at the recently deceased Siemens. I didn't see any sign of blood from the mouth, just an inordinate amount of spit and slobber. If the victim had been killed by having his lung pierced he should have spat blood as it entered his lungs.

That was the main reason I initially thought he had been pierced in the lungs, the lack of blood on his chest, because it was flooding his lungs. But then...?

Mhmm... That doesn't make sense...

Ah! He could have been chocked! The killed would have stabbed him after choking him to death to... to... why exactly would he do that? Hate? To complicate the job of the authorities?

Argh! I want a chance to examine the body! The amount of spit could mean he had something stuck on his throat. But if he had died chocking by accident why would anyone need to stab him afterwards? That would just make people think it was murder! Maybe to play a joke? What kind of sicko would find a dead body and think "Hey! You know what?! Let's play a prank on everyone and make them think it was killed by someone." Not very funny.

Then again, the spit could have many other reasons other than obstruction of the windpipe. It could be a kind of poison to incapacitate the victim so the killer can approach the man without struggle and kill him.

Mr. Siemens drank a lot, it wasn't difficult to think the killer might have slipped the poison on one of his multiple drinks and once the man couldn't fight back came to finish the job.

I blinked back to awareness to find everyone accusing each other of being the murderer.

Oops. Seems like I spaced out for a bit.

"Now, now, why don't we just calm down and check everyone's alibis?" The Chinese man spoke in an attempt to calm everyone down.

As he spoke the theory of being poisoned and afterwards stabbed made itself more likely. It could be that after waking up and feeling the effects of the poison, Mr. Siemens had rang the bell, but his killer arrived before help could. It was a bit sad, to think that if he had managed to ring the bell sooner... that made it a tight timeframe for the murderer to kill and flee, but not impossible.

I blinked into awareness, just to find that the earl had somehow become the prime suspect, as he was the only one without an alibi.

I couldn't really say anything to defend him, as I didn't know what happened, even if I was sure the earl wouldn't kill a guest of his in cold blood.

And even if I didn't have the same certainty when it comes to the butler, I would like to think he would know better than to implicate his master as the only suspect. So my money is on this being a misunderstanding or a setup.

I really hope it's a mistake.

For the Earl's sake.

—

The night was long and didn't bring me much rest, despite how tired I had been not long ago.

With the added factor of a possible murderer roaming around I was very unwilling to get out of my room at all, and sleeping had become an impossible task.

What if the killer was waiting outside for me to fall asleep?

I missed Taker terribly.

I felt so... defenseless. I had gotten spoiled by having his soothing presence in my proximity at all times, making me feel secure and protected.

Security wasn't something to be taken for granted, but I had deluded myself into thinking that Taker would always be next to me to shield me from harm or soothe me afterwards.

The room was dark, and although it wasn't terribly cold, I could feel a shiver running down my spine from time to time. I was in a bedroom. Alone. In the dark.

I breathed in, gripping my panic with steeled hands and forcefully wrenched it into submission. It's fine. I am fine. I am not going to panic.

Getting up from the bed, I slowly walked towards the door, willing myself to calmly turn the knob and open the door like a normal person, instead of throwing myself against the door like my panicked instincts were telling me to.

I'm fine. I have come so far. I can do this.

I stopped myself before I actually opened the door. What if it was closed? Would I be able to keep my cool then?

I breathed in slowly, fighting down the urge to fall into old, dark memories that would only send me panicking if I let them rule me for even a moment.

No. I am strong now. If the door is closed, I'll just kick it down. I'll apologize to the Earl in the morning.

The thought gave me some sort of comfort, and a small part of me felt some sort of pride at my ability to keep my mind sound at this time. That part was very small, though. I was too busy trying not to hyperventilate.

All my worries proved in vain though, as the door opened soundlessly and let me look into the dark, deserted corridor.

Despite the honestly creepy vibe coming from the dark, deserted corridor at night, where a murderer was possibly prowling, I couldn't help the overwhelming wave of utter relief that almost made me stagger from how unexpected it was.

I hadn't actually thought... that the door would be open...

Ha. Ha ha.

I breathlessly giggled at my own stupid thoughts. I was worrying about nothing. Everything is perfectly fine.

There's a killer walking around the manor, but I'm not locked up, I'm fine.

...

Wait, that's not fine! What if the killer attacked? Why in hell isn't the door closed?!

Oh. It has a manual lock. And it actually closes from the inside! That's right, I forgot to lock it, didn't I?

I have never seen a manual locking system that closes from the inside.

I couldn't help but idly wonder why anyone would put a lock _inside_ a room. Then I realized the answer and felt pretty stupid for wondering. Lock inside to keep people _out_. Like possible killers. Lock outside to keep people _in_. Pretty logic, right?

I closed the door and locked it without a further thought, feeling reassured that I was in charge of the locking mechanism for once.

I blinked and opened the lock. Then closed it. And again. This was fun. I think I get why my mother liked to play with the lock of my door.

Shaking my head to clear myself from those thoughts I closed the lock again, then walked to the bed in an attempt to get some much needed sleep.

Before I even got three steps away, a knock on the door made me jump five feet into the air, almost giving me a heart attack and definitely shaving off a few years of my lifespan.

I frantically turned to the door, trying to open it without success. Then I remembered I had just locked it and scrambled to open the mechanism, my nervousness making me take longer than it should.

Scrambling to say something so the person on the other side knew I was actually awake and trying to open the door, I nervously asked who was on the other side.

My answer slightly unsatisfactory. Then again, anyone short of Undertaker himself who came to pick me up early would have been unsatisfactory, but the last thing I wanted to see at too-early o'clock in the morning was a dark haired, pale butler that was actually a demon and who liked to make fun of me for no other reason than a petty grudge. Or because he didn't like me. Or simply because he was an ass.

In any case, I may have frowned at the butler on the other side with a little more heat than he deserved, seeing as he was apparently checking up that I hadn't accidentally locked myself. I flushed in embarrassment and mumbled something that I hope didn't make me look like I was stupid.

"Well, it seems you have everything under control here after all." The butler gave me a dubious look, as if he knew I had been having problems and didn't believe a word I said.

"I'm fine." I looked at his hands, holding a pillow to his chest as he stood stiffly around. Was it my imagination or was He Paler than usual?

It had to be my lack of sleep and the darkness of the room, the butler was always naturally pale.

I shook my head to dispel the thoughts and turned to the demon-butler, trying to find a way to politely kick him out.

Please go away wasn't very polite, what would taker say if someone he didn't like came uninvited into the shop? Scratch that. He would be rude as hell.

What would Taker say if the butler came into the shop with the earl and wanted to kick him out? He wouldn't be excessively rude to the butler in front of the earl but... yeah he would ignore him unless addressed to.

...

Thinking for a while longer in channeled my inner Taker as a slowly asked "is that all?" With a lazy drawl. Yeah! Way to go! He's the one intruding! Well done!

I inwardly patted myself in the back. Seems like tonight I was on fire. Not literally, of course. That would be painful.

"As a matter of fact, no. There is something else I would like to discuss." The butler sniffed, looking down on me and obviously not very impressed with my sudden bout of eloquence. Which of course made my aforementioned eloquence vanish like it was never there in the first place.

"Oh. I... see? Mhmm... What... what is it, then?" I mumbled uncertainly, wanting to kick myself for stuttering. And I had been doing so well!

It's all the butler's fault. Probably.

"I would like you to stay out of all this mess with the recent events. While I am aware of your ability..." I panicked. Wait he knew?! How?! "...and experience as a mortician's assistant, my lord is perfectly capable of handling this himself." He finished, making me nod absently. So he was talking about my knowledge of bodies. Well, that's a relief, I had been worried for a second there.

So... he just wanted me to be silent? I could do that. I had no problem keeping quiet. If the earl said he could handle it, I had no problems trusting he could.

"Okay... now get out of my room...please" I flinched. Well... that was a perfect example of my diplomatic abilities. As if tacking on a 'please' at the end of that is going to help any.

Thankfully, the butler seemed to be in a hurry, because he didn't stay to make me suffer -and I had no delusions that he didn't entertain the possibility for at least a second before rationality took over.

He probably had things to attend to, even in the middle of the night. I hope he gets some time to rest, too. No matter how much I dislike the demon, I wouldn't want him to suffer.

What a long night this is turning out to be.

Sighing at nothing in particular, I crawled into the sheets, making a cocoon out of them so I could try to imagine they were Undertaker's arms wrapping around me.

If he was here he would probably say something about beauty sleep, cookies, and a veiled advice that I wouldn't actually catch on. Or something equally convincing like "go to sleep little Lia, you don't want to embarrass yourself again with your lack of sleep. Blah blah blah, something something I know everything cuz' I'm a reaper and I don't like being forthright with anything at all".

...

Okay he probably wouldn't say that last part. At least not out loud. I bet he does think something along those lines inside that twisted mind of his.

Giggling softly to myself I marveled at Taker's ability to cheer me up with the mere thought of his presence. Then again, he was always much nicer and easier to understand inside my mind that outside of it, so that probably does account for something.

With happy thoughts about a certain white haired reaper, I finally fell asleep.

—

The wakeup call was completely unnecessary, in my opinion, but considering I had slept through breakfast and someone had already been killed, maybe Irene and the maid's concern wasn't as misdirected as my sleep deprived mind wanted to think.

They had come over once I didn't show up for breakfast, concerned the killer was still running around and had decided to kill me.

I was understandably a bit grumpy since the closed doors were pounded so harshly they seemed about to break, but at least I discovered I was wrong in my assumption a sleep deprived me could sleep through anything, so at least that was a nice thing to know.

Getting ready to go eat breakfast I went to grab Tofu, just to find him gone. A few seconds where I was frozen, blankly looking at the place Tofu _should_ have been at I startled at a hand carefully resting over my shoulder.

"Is everything alright, Miss?" The maid, bless her heart, seemed really concerned, so I could only shake my head and smile, reassuring her I was fine.

"Although isn't it a bit too much for the two of you to come wake me up? I had the door closed, I was fine." I pointed out, earning an uncomfortable look from the two girls. "W-what is it?" I suddenly felt less certain, and more worried about what had those two so... strange.

"This morning-"Just then, a sudden clattering noise came from outside the room, making us go silent and Irene gasp in realization.

"Of course! There was someone else who didn't show up! Let's go reunite with the others!" Quickly and without hesitation, the two ran out the room where Irene's boyfriend was worriedly waiting, making me hurriedly follow after them.

When we got to the origin of the noise, the Earl's bedroom, we found the door in tiny pieces and the guests staring down at something on the floor.

Once Mr. Doyle raised his head briefly to point out something related to teeth of all things I realized the reason the person sleeping in the Earl's quarters, who by the way was thankfully NOT the earl, was because the poor guy was dead. Been for a while if the cursory look I managed was any indication.

Once again, I considered offering to have a look, but hesitation made me back away again, saying nothing.

Another murder... this looks... surprisingly clean. Like last night's murder, the lack of blood is the first thing to jump out to me, but this time the position of the corpse told me the victim suffered before dying, so it was most likely some sort of poison.

Something it had already been stated apparently, I needed to pay more attention to my surroundings, really.

Wait, what is this about vampires I'm hearing?

Demons exist, and so do Grim Reapers, so is it really that farfetched to think vampires exist? What about werewolves, then? Mhmmm...

Ohh! The clock! Of course it was a clue, I really hadn't noticed that either... or anything that wasn't the dead person in the room, really.

I tried to muster up the courage to offer to carry Mr. Meek to the cellar where they seemed to want to put him.

I was unfortunately declined, since ladies shouldn't be tasked with such a morbid, grueling task as carrying a dead man to a cellar so he doesn't rot.

I wonder what that says about Taker, then.

I do have to say I feel quite out of my element. While this is not the first murder I had to help solve, it was strange no one actually expected me to help in anything. Shouldn't we all work together to find the culprit? Did they think I did it and that's why they didn't want me to help?

In all this, where is Tofu? Did they get caught by the killer?

Once a time table about everyone's alibi was made it seemed obvious no single person could have done all three murders...

Wait what?

"Sebastian is dead?!" I couldn't help but blurt out in utter bafflement. He was a demon! He couldn't just _die_!

I mean... good for the earl, his soul is saved or whatever, but... I don't think the earl himself is very happy with the fact his demon butler is _dead_.

Then again, he seemed as perfectly bratty as always when he and the Woody guy fought over something or another. Since the Queen was mentioned, I had to guess it had something to do with being guardog of the Queen, or whatever the position's name was.

Then Tanaka proved to be one badass old man, making me go all starry eyed as he incapacitated Mr. Woody with the speed of a viper.

Damn. What's with old men being so amazing? At this point I will want to become an old granny just so I can be that awesome.

In the end, it was agreed Mr. Doyle would be the one deciding things, since he was the only one who couldn't have committed any of the tree murders, and I had no objection to that. The man seemed like a good guy, and pretty honest. Besides, I doubt a famous writer of detective novels like him would have any need to kill anyone.

Back to the whole Sebastian-is-dead-thing...

Was it already old news? Everyone seemed to already know, except me that is. Would it be insensitive of me to ask? I definitely shouldn't ask the earl. Maybe Tanaka? He seemed like a reliable old man. He would know.

When would be a good time to ask, I wonder?

Thinking about it, I looked at the old butler, trying to discern the answer to my unasked question.

Just as I opened my mouth-

—

I opened my eyes.

There was rubble around me, and I could only look around confusedly.

Where was I?

The rubble around me was... somewhat familiar. Isn't it strange? To think of rubble as familiar? I know I've seen this rubble before, been in this situation before, maybe in a dream, but my confused mind cannot come up with the continuation of the dream even as it plays before me.

I also felt... weirdly disconnected from my own body.

What had happened? I was in the Phamtomhive mansion a second ago, wasn't I? Sebastian was dead and I had wanted to ask Tanaka something.

What had I wanted to ask again?

"...lia..." The strangely muted voice pierced through my hazed thoughts in its own familiarity. My eyes tried to look for the source of the voice, but I found them unable to focus on anything but the rubble. My ears were ringing. Why were they ringing?

"Dalia! Listen to me! Look at me! Are you okay?" A familiar voice. One I had the feeling I hadn't heard in a long time.

That was impossible though, it hadn't been that long since I last heard Tofu's voice.

"Tofu?" No matter how much I looked around me, I couldn't find him anywhere. Why wasn't he here? I had heard his voice, hadn't I?

"Come on, you damn idiot! Move already! We can't stay here for long or we will be dragged in again!" Tofu's voice was unusually lacking any animosity, instead being replaced with worry, which was a confusing thing in itself.

Dazed, I laid my hand on the rubble I was sitting on. It was... warm. Not exceedingly so, but enough to be comfortable. The surface was rough and dusty, a small cloud of dirt raising with the motion.

I eyed the dirt without any thought in mind as it slowly moved towards my face, making me sneeze.

The sneeze seemed to completely bring me back towards my body, as if I had been aimlessly floating above it for a while and all my senses were suddenly overwhelmed by a single message, coming from different parts of my body: PAIN.

Not surprisingly, the first thing I noticed was that the dull ache in the back of my head was NOT a _dull_ ache.

Afterwards my hands decided to chime in and tell me they did not appreciate my thoughtless use of them, as they were apparently scrapped and bleeding a bit.

As if that wasn't enough, my side screamed bloody murder as it tried to claim my undivided attention.

Needless to say, that was the most unsatisfying sneeze in the history of forever.

"What..." I rasped out, but found my throat was in need of something to drink. It hadn't been that long since I drank something! How could it be this sore?

"Hello? Hello? Earth to Dalia! I said _move it_!" Tofu's voice, much clearer than it had been previously, brought back my attention away from the massive complaining party my body seemed to be having without my notice.

"What... happened?" I inwardly winced at the soreness of my voice. I sounded like an old man, but my throat hurt too much to try to do anything about it.

"Whatdaya mean 'what happened!'" Tofu sounded like I had just insulted his great grandmother or something, but everything hurt too much to feel bad about it.

The last thing I remember... was Sebastian being dead, right?

"Damn, your head is bleeding, that's bad isn't it?" Tofu seemed... panicked? That made no sense. I had been fine five minutes ago, how could I be bleeding?

I touched my head, not really expecting anything, and could only stare when my hand came out red.

Oh. It _was_ bleeding. How curious.

"Move already Dalia! I know you're hurt but if you don't want to get worse I suggest you don't just stay there like a fancy vase!" I finally found Tofu, although I couldn't remember why I had been searching for him in the first place, since he had been next to me the whole time. Right?

I did nothing as I felt something push me around somewhat gently.

The surroundings were nothing but a blur. The only things I could make out were a clear blue sky and the rubble around me, of a pleasant gray color, almost white. Like Taker's hair...

Wait.

"Where's Taker?" He should be home, right? Then again... the sky was a pleasant clear blue, a far cry from the heavy rain that had been pouring for the last days...

"He's fine for now! Don't worry about that fool and worry more about yourself! He and the stupid butler are at it and if you're caught up in the middle again, you're going to get something more than a graze to the neck with a knife!" Tofu kept rambling, his words making no sense in my head.

A graze to the neck? I absently touched my neck, the pain of a small cut flaring to life when I did so. Compared to everything else, it didn't hurt that badly.

...

Butler...?

But... wasn't Sebastian dead? Were they talking about Tanaka? Or another butler?

I didn't realize I had spoken those words aloud until Tofu actually answered.

"What are you talking about? I _wish_ he was! That annoyance is like a weed growing in a garden! No matter how much you pull it out, it always comes back!" Tofu actually growled the last part out, my confusion only deepening.

"But... he was killed...?" Wasn't he? I know he was, everyone said so. "Siemens..." I mumbled, not realizing I had stopped walking now that the force guiding me to safety had let go.

Tofu turned to me with an honestly flabbergasted expression. He said nothing, instead seemingly taking his time to recollect himself enough to put on an unreadable look. "Dalia... that was four days ago." His words were carefully spoken, like he wanted to make sure I understood them, but I still felt like I had heard them wrong.

I HAD to have heard wrong. That did not make sense.

"What... no... that's..." my head hurt... why did it hurt? The sensation was akin to having been just rudely woken up from a long nap, being suddenly shoved into some conflict I had no part in.

The frustration made tears gather in my eyes. I couldn't even remember what day today was! What had happened? Where was Taker?

"Just move already!" Tofu kept pushing my leg with all the might stored in his tiny arms, but this time I didn't move an inch.

"But..." everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong. "Tofu... I want to go home..."

Tofu's eyes widened like saucers and he started sweating a bit.

"About that... the shop is... kinda in a bad condition, if you catch my drift." Tofu dodged my confused 'why?' instead leading me in some direction I had to guess was safe. "Don't look at the details too hard, just know it may or may not be my fault, and we might have picked up a fight with the butler as a result of it." Tofu's words made no sense whatsoever, because I was under the impression Sebastian was dead, something that shouldn't have changed in the last few days.

Unless...

"Taker didn't make a bizarre doll out of the butler, did he?" My eyes narrowed into slits, making Tofu sweat drop.

"Not... quite... the butler wasn't quite dead in the first place, and not even the mummy is enough of a fool to do something like this. It's... alright so it's kinda my fault, okay?!" Tofu sounded awfully defensive, as he crossed his arms and looked away from me, almost guiltily. "I may have jumped the gun a bit, you know, since everybody thought he was dead, why not take the opportunity to make sure he is _actually_ dead? It sounded like a great idea to me!" Well, to me it sounded like a _horrible_ idea, but that may have been the headache making me cranky. "So I... kinda... accidentally dragged you into that mess... which of course dragged the reaper into it and... they are kinda battling it out right now, you know nothing serious, just some friendly stabbing..." Tofu was quite desperate to make it sound less serious than it probably was, but even in my dizzy state I could see clear as day the two men weren't stabbing each other in a very "friendly" way. "Haha... so... heh... you're... you're not angry, are you?" Tofu tried to smile at me but could only grimace in guilt.

"Ah..." I wasn't? Angry I mean. I wasn't really angry. I was too confused to be angry, everything felt so surreal... like when you go grocery shopping and suddenly you find your dog has invited over a dinosaur for dinner. I wasn't angry, instead I was more worried, especially for Taker, Biscuit, Pudding and Tofu.

"What about Biscuit and Pu-"

"They are with Zephyr, he's being a good boy. So... uh... sorry." I blinked at the clown, who looked at me with visible remorse.

"What...?" I couldn't really believe my ears, Tofu apologizing for anything? Things must have been pretty bad, and I was kinda glad I didn't remember, if still frustrating.

"I said sorry! It's my fault you're like this!" 'Like this' seemed to mean my currently hurt and confused state, which was only heightened by Tofu's guilty ramblings.

"I screwed up big time Dalia... I screwed up... I... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I can't do anything right..." Tofu was... he was sad, why was he sad?

"Everyone makes mistakes, Tofu. It's alright. I'm not angry." Why would I be?

"Dalia. Please. Can you do something for me?" He whispered, looking defeated as a toy clown could be. "Grant one last request to this foolish toy. Please, allow me to erase my mistake, wish for none of this to have ever happened. I shouldn't have ever tasted the freedom you granted me, I got greedy and it almost cost your life. Please don't let me do this ever again." Tofu seemed so sad... if he wasn't a toy, I'm sure he would be crying.

Tofu... he always does so much for me... I do not deserve him, but he still wants to be by my side, he never left even when I didn't know he was alive. He shouldn't blame himself for any of this.

"I wish..." I started, making a determined look settle on Tofu's face, wiping away tears that never managed to form. "I wish for a world where Tofu can be happy. I wish for Tofu to smile and laugh in happiness. I wish for Tofu to cry whenever he wants to. I wish for Tofu to live without regrets. It's okay to make mistakes, I make them all the time. So I wish for Tofu to stop blaming himself."

Tofu, for all intents and purposes, seemed to have been rendered speechless. I didn't know what he had done, but it didn't seem like a big deal to me. Sure, I got hurt, but... no one was dead, this mistake could still be fixed, I wouldn't give up on him just because he wasn't infallible. No one really was.

"You... you are a complete idiot..." Tofu sniffed and shivered, eyes somehow glassy even if there were still no tears to be seen. "I... I hate you... I hate you... you're so damn nice! I don't deserve it!" Even though Tofu was saying he hated me he still threw himself into a hug, which made me have the feeling... he didn't really mean it. Rather it was his way of trying to make me angry and lash out at him like he wanted. He actually cared deeply, more than he wanted anyone to know.

He didn't really deserve me being angry at him. He was an amazing friend and he deserved the best.

Taker, from the look of things when he arrived didn't seem to think the same.

"YOU." Taker looked like he had been through the wringer, making me frown with worry for the mortician. All of his clothes were askew, his scythe was covered completely in blood and his face carried the anger of a thousand wronged gods. "You've got a lot of nerve showing your face, little clown"

"Taker! You're alright!" And he mostly was, in fact I was certain I was in worse condition than he was. His eyes softened from the angry glare he had been punishing Tofu with when they settled on me.

"Of course I am~ what a foolish thing to say~" his hands calmly took mine, examining the small wounds there before deciding my side and head were more important.

"Ouch" His cold fingers prodded at my head, making me wince. "Stay still~" I tried, but it was hard when every touch sent fire through my everything. "Takeeer..." His finger lightly grazed my side, examining it closely. "I'm just making sure you're not going to kneel over and die on me little Lia~" Although he made it sound light, his eyes showed real concern as he touched and prodded at everything. "Alright, how many fingers do you see~?" He put up three fingers in front of my face, making me blink at them.

"Three" right as I said those words, he lowered one of his fingers, leaving only two. "Hey!"

"Oh, no~! You cannot even see how many fingers I have, that's terrible! A sure sign you're dying~!" Taker sobbed dramatically as I tried to explain to him he had cheated and it didn't count.

"Come on little Lia. You have to get that treated." Taker helped me stand, making me realize my legs felt like jelly and my hands were trembling without my notice.

"Are we going home?" I asked absently, watching my trembling hands closely, it was fascinating.

Taker stopped on his tracks giving me a hard stare and then a harsh glare at Tofu. "Lia... we can't go home. The shop burned down." I definitely didn't imagine the accusing look Taker sent Tofu, but it was gone so quickly I was inclined to doubt myself.

"What?!" The shop had burned down? How?!

"Dalia... you were there..." Taker had a patient look as he tried to soothe me. I shouldn't be the one being calmed down! He was the one who lost the shop!

"Wha-? No I- I don't know! I was? I..." Taker tried to calm me down as he explained temporary memory loss wasn't unheard of with a hit to the head. It was still frustrating.

"Calm down Lia, it's not a tragedy. What is the last you remember?" Taker's infinite patience was nothing short of a godsend, because I felt so frustrated with myself that if he had been pressuring me to remember I would have started crying.

"I... I was at Phantomhive's... Sebastian died..." before I could get much farther Taker interrupted with a curt "not really, but kinda." I huffed at the interruption. "Okay, then what happened?"

"The butler played dead and solved the crime and framed another, which by the way..." Taker turned deceptively calm eyes towards me, or more specifically Tofu. "The hell where you thinking!" Tofu had to avoid the hand that had intended to grab him none too gently by using me as a meat shield. "The second Phelps was killed you should have gotten her out of there! What if she was harmed? In fact, look at her! She _is_ harmed! Because of you!" Taker was quickly losing his temper with the toy, or rather, he seemed to have lost it a while ago and was now giving what he felt was proper punishment.

"Taker, calm down... I'm alright. Please don't be angry at Tofu." I begged, taking the hand that had tried to grab Tofu in mine. "Please?" Taker seemed pretty done with the situation altogether, but at least he huffed in what I hoped was agreement, massaging his temples like he was trying to ward off a headache before staring at me with an unreadable expression. Then he hugged me.

I couldn't explain with words how much I had missed this, so I merely threw myself into the hug, taking hold of fistfuls of hair, clothes or anything I could grab in an attempt to pull him even closer, something physically impossible, but I was still willing to try.

"I missed you Taker..." Although he had been in a pretty foul mood, his face brightened like the sun and his cheeks blushed slightly, nuzzling me as he silently told me he had missed me too.

When he finally pulled (slightly) away he was in a way better mood, playfully smirking as he slowly guided me in what I hoped was a hospital.

"My my~ seems like my little Lia had quite an adventure~"

"Shame I can't remember it..." I mumbled before turning to the Undertaker to explain everything I did remember. "You wouldn't believe what happened! We were at the party and I met a famous writer! I kinda made a fool of myself, but I think he was nice. Then at the party the angry guy was annoying Stella's nice... was it her niece? Well, he was annoying her and she slapped him! She was so cool! Then the angry guy went to sleep and he died! It was weird because I couldn't come up with the same way it had died, although I wasn't really allowed to have a good look. And then, and then! Someone else died! Although that was the next day, and and and- and it turned out that Sebastian was dead and everyone but me knew it because I had woken up late!" Taker nodded patiently, making 'oh~?' and 'aha~!' from time to time. "And the earl and the writer got chained together to a bed! Although that was during the night, and a white haired guy stole my food, and I didn't panic when I went to sleep alone! And there was an old man..." was there? An old man? I remember a bird... a concert and a priest of sorts... but the memories were... hazy at best. "It was... a reverend... he was... really smart... and... uh... Rathbone?" It sounded quite alright, so it probably as something similar. It felt... weird. Like trying to remember a memory that wasn't quite mine, like fruit o look through a muddled pond. There were gaps I couldn't explain away, like the memories associated were just... gone. Taker's calm smile turned slightly worried at my inability to continue the story, and I tried to find the continuation, frustration making me frown. "The owl... and... uh... the cellar... seawater... the..." It was dark and cold, I knew for a fact I had gone down to the cellar, but I couldn't for the life of me remember why or what had happened. "Mhmm... a snake... and... umm... ah! I remember the earl lending ran Mao his clothes! Ran Mao? The Chinese girl, she looked... Uh... indecent, but she was so cool!" I couldn't remember exactly why she was cool, only knowing it had to do with a snake. This made Taker giggle at the mental image. "And... there was... uh... the black snake... and... something about diamonds...?" My memory, which was spotty in a good day, was simply _gone_. It wasn't the same way when you forgot the keys or to lock the door, it was an actual noticeable hole in my memories, which made me frustrated because I knew for a fact there was a memory that was supposed to go there but was now gone.

"Close enough~" Taker's reassuring voice helped me calm down. "The earl blamed the whole thing on what you called the diamond guy, he was the perpetrator of the murder of our last guest before you left, if you remember?" I nodded absently, I could remember that more easily than anything beyond learning Sebastian was dead even if he apparently wasn't.

"Yeah! It was Woody, or Wooly! Wait... I already explained this to you didn't I?" I accused, a weird feeling in my stomach telling me the answer before Taker could.

"Well, yes. But I love the sound of your voice, so I really do not mind." He unrepentantly patted my head, making me pout. "Come on Lia... don't be down. You're starting to remember aren't you?" I nodded absently. I didn't feel like I was remembering more. If anything, it felt more and more like the parts I had forgotten would never return, only small flashes and images giving me enough information to deduce what had happened.

"What happened with Tofu, then?" I asked the dreaded question, although I had the feeling nothing good could come from ignoring that.

Taker gave a long sigh. Giving me a short explanation that left me utterly unsatisfied. "Your little toy soldier got a bit ahead of himself and instead of waiting like I told him to decided that getting the butler out of the way right then would be the best, since only he, the earl and me knew he was alive, although the earl didn't know for sure if I knew.

"It was the perfect moment. The earl wouldn't be able to retaliate since everyone saw him dead. It's not my fault..." Tofu tried to defend himself weakly, sounding like he didn't believe his own words.

"You could have waited for me." Taker swiftly and pointedly accused, making the toy look away and try to burry himself against my side.

"I didn't think, alright? It's my fault..." seemed like admitting this to the mortician was ten times harder than it was admitting it to me, but thankfully Taker let it slide when I silently begged him to forgive him.

I'm still not sure what did Tofu do or how that devolved into me getting cut, kicked and getting hit in the head, but Tofu's idea seemed pretty alright to me. Even if I wasn't sure why he wanted so bad to get rid of the butler.

Wait... I remember getting kicked. That's how I got hurt on my side! I tried hard to remember the rest, but nothing was coming to mind. I know I can remember, I just have to...

"Don't think too much Lia, it will slowly come back." Taker was either a mind reader or he was exceptionally good at reading me expressions. Either could be.

I got kicked... but why? And how? It was a boot... black... mhmm... the graze on my neck... it was related to that... I just know it. The memory refused to surface, only a few flashes coming and going without rhyme or reason.

A black boot... kicking my side... a knife flying so close to my neck I was sure I had been hit, a wall, grey and hard, coming closer...

"Taker... did you kick me...?" I asked him, disbelief written across my face, Taker turned to me with an unreadable expression, before turning playful.

"Oh~? Did I? I could, if you're into that~" he giggled, making me blush and try to slap his hair out of his face.

"That's not what I meant... you pervert..." he giggled a bit more before one of his hands went to raise my furisode a bit higher so he could get a look at my side. Then I realized I was back in my own clothes... and that those clothes were... wrecked.

I stifled a gasp, not from the bruise that was quickly turning visible on my side and made Taker frown, but because the precious clothes Kim had given me... they were...

"U-uh... wuh..." Taker quickly looked up at me in a panic, noticing I was about to cry.

"Don't cry little Lia! This is nothing! Just a little bruise! Well... quite a big bruise actually, but it will heal, you don't have anything broken, and that is good! Come on, cheer up~" he frantically tried to stop my tears, perhaps a bit more panicked than he normally would be from guilt. "I'm sorry little Lia... I had to get you out of there and my hands were kind busy... don't cry..."

"It's not that..." I tried to explain, making Taker blink confusedly and he mumbled "It's not?" under his breath in confusion.

"The clothes Kim gave me... they are... they are rags now!" At this I wailed, but Taker seemed calmer now that he knew he wasn't responsible for my tears.

"Don't worry Lia, I'll get you more clothes just like those... they were kind of old already... they would have broken eventually..." his words weren't reassuring at all, making me only cry harder.

"But Kim gave this to me! Right before I left! And now I broke theeeem...!" Taker seemed at a loss on how to properly calm me down, and instead looked at Tofu with a glare before making a gesture in my direction with zero subtlety.

"Ah... I'll get you another identical to it..." Tofu offered, flinching when I said it wouldn't be the same. I could swear he had muttered something that sounded just like "I don't know why, I was the one who gave it to you..." but that didn't make sense because Kim had given it to me. " _Then_..." He got my attention, making me stop wailing and just look at him amongst sniffles. "I will fix it for you so that it's... err... as good as new." I felt my eyes shining, although this time it wasn't from tears, and I thanked him profusely as I hugged him to my chest.

"Lucky clown." Taker mumbled sourly, hugging me from behind as I smothered Tofu with love.

"Ah... but where are we going to go? The house is gone, isn't it?" I received two sheepish nods, making me frown in worry. "And what about Biscuit and Pudding... and Zephany? Eh... Zachary." Taker giggled at my misnaming of the poor guy's name, making me pout. It wasn't really my fault he had such a hard name to remember.

"The dogs and... failed villain are just fine." I lightly smacked Taker's arm when he called Zechariah a failed villain. He had been pretty scary! Until I forgot about him... but it wasn't his fault... "We can pick them up... _after_ we take care of you." Taker herded me in some random direction, and I could do nothing but follow.

I had no idea where we were going, but I actually didn't care very much. I was with my precious people once again.  
That was more than enough.


	50. Chapter 49

**The author's note for this chapter is at the end, since this is a special chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: Black Butler belongs to Yana Toboso, I wouldn't even dream of owning such an amazing story and characters.**

* * *

The Gamer: Fun and Games

Undertaker had lived long enough to be sure of his own beliefs and hold them close to his heart. He wasn't easily swayed to change his opinion and he wasn't afraid to speak what he truly thought, he was an old man at heart. He liked when things stayed the way he liked them to, looking at change with a small frown but welcoming the break in his monotonous routine whenever something interesting happened.

With that said, he may be an old man at heart, but he also knew when to admit a mistake, and when to throw himself at the floor begging for whatever scraps of pity Dalia could throw at him. Like right now.

He may have been unwilling to let his old creepy shop go, but he could do it without a second thought. But since he got to buy another shop, he kinda chose the one that had looked most similar to the old one without a second thought. Which brought him to this situation.

Goodness gracious, she was _angry_. She had even refrained from cuddling the cookie dog to death, instead settling for glowering at a random spot of what was to be their new shop. Of course, His precious little assistant wasn't exactly thrilled by this prospect.

"I cannot believe you did this".

What she was referring to with 'did this' was buying the most run down, abandoned house he could find to turn into his now shop. They had left London and England behind, going north towards colder climates in Sweden where he could bury his little Lia in snow as white as his own hair. That didn't mean he wasn't keeping an eye on the little earl and his butler, but after the little debacle brought on by the little toy soldier... let's just say staying there wasn't really an option anymore.

To be honest, he wasn't completely against Tofu's idea to take the butler out of the picture, but what he _did_ take offense in was that he thought he could do it alone and without him. Because of his carelessness, Dalia had gotten hurt. He still remembered her confused face when she looked at him with no recollection of the latest events, he could swear his old heart had frozen over, but she seemed to be doing better, if the fact she had been able to recognize the perpetrator of the kick to her side was actually his boot. If she had remembered anything else she had said nothing, but from the thoughtful look she took from time to time, she had no luck in that department.

He still felt his heart stutter when he remembered how close that stupid butler's knife had gotten to his little Lia's neck.  
He was actually kind of envious of Dalia's ability to forget that event, he wished he could, too. Seeing her in any kind of hurt… He shook his head. She was fine, and that was the only important thing. Who cared if the butler escaped and the shop went up in a blazing inferno like that mansion had years ago? Well, he did.

Shaking his head, he decided it was all Tofu's fault. Everything, every single little thing was that damn toy's fault. No exceptions.

If he hadn't attacked the butler, he wouldn't have retaliated by attacking the only thing Tofu actually cared about. If the demon vermin hadn't attacked his little Lia he wouldn't have been forced to kick her out of the way to avoid having her neck pierced by a silver knife. If he hadn't kicked her aside he would have been able to avoid the butler's subsequent attack. If he hadn't gotten hurt, Dalia wouldn't have exploded the whole shop in a burst of golden light and fire. If she hadn't exploded their home, the butler wouldn't have escaped, Dalia wouldn't have hit her head and they wouldn't have had to move out of the freaking country. At least the butler got a pretty parting gift from both his scythe and Dalia's attack he wouldn't be forgetting for a while… The moral of the story? Everything was Tofu's fault. Because of his things would never be the same again.  
Alright, maybe Dalia also had an important role in that whole debacle, as she kind of panicked and blew everything up. He wasn't really blaming her, though. It was way easier to blame the clown. Way more satisfying, too. He had to admit he may enjoy the look of guilt in the clown's face a bit too much…

"Look at all those spider webs! There has to be at least one spider around here... or even more..." his assistant startled him out of his musings as she gave a paranoid look around as she made sure no spiders would jump at her while she wasn't looking. "I've got to clean this... this dump! This cannot go on any longer!" They had barely been here for a few minutes, but from the way Dalia made it sound one would think she had been suffering for years. It made a smirk lift his lips in amusement, mirth making him giggle a bit.

"My~ what a shame I forgot to pack our dust-" His smug smirk fell the second she pulled out a duster from nowhere, and he almost chocked in surprise. There went his plan to set a proper ambience for the shop. Even the fact he had deliberately left the damn thing behind didn't deter his determined assistant, instead magically producing another from the confines of her infinite bag she had. Maybe the stupid clown had even helped her, although he saw her perfectly capable of just carrying one of those with her 24/7.

He sighed in dismay as he saw a perfectly creepy shop turn into a disgustingly clean workspace in a question of minutes, his assistant a whirlwind of cleaning and order that sent shivers down his back.

He couldn't really stand her angry pout when he left everything a mess, so he let her clean whatever even if it kinda annoyed him. It was worth it when at the end she gave a satisfied look around and nodded happily, a bright smile lightening her face and leaving him breathless and dumbly echoing the smile with a foolish one of his own.

Yes, things may never be the same, but he kinda didn't want them to, and that made everything just the more perfect.

* * *

 **Ending Authors note.**

 **Yes, I know what you're thinking. "This cannot possibly be the end, can it?"  
** **Sorry, but yes, this** _ **is**_ **the end of Fun and Games, at least for now.**

 **I meant to make an open ending like this for a while and, as there is nothing more creative than the human mind, I figured that it was time to let you readers fill the gaps and decide what will happen to Dalia and Taker from now on.  
...That's the reason, of course, and not because every time I tried to make an ending both Undertaker and Dalia made everything in their power to screw things up. Yes…**

 **Anyways;  
** **Please don't be sad because it ends, if you really liked it, be happy that you got to enjoy reading Dalia and Taker's story and let them keep living inside your mind and heart.  
** **As I already said, I will one day rewrite Fun and Games to improve the flow of the story, but I won't be taking this story down, because I wouldn't want those who liked the original story and laughed and cried with it to lose it, even if I have rewritten and improved the story (especially the plot).**

 **I do not presume this story to be perfect or better than any other story out there, because I know it has flaws that I will strive to improve when I publish the next one.**

 **I will definitely keep writing new stories, if you liked this one, but I warn you it might be a while before I post anything, since I want to finish it first as I had a really bad time whenever I couldn't post a chapter in time, something that happened specially in the last chapter, I let you all down and I am really sorry for that. I have reasons for why I couldn't keep writing, reasons that may or may not be legitimate for you, but I will not try to justify it, because I still know it is ultimately my fault I took this long. Just know that when I finally upload the next story, you won't have to worry about being left halfway there unless I literally have a heart attack and die, at least that I can promise.**

 **For now, my plan is to look at this story and make a list of everything that I need to work on so that I can improve it in the next story, if you think there is something that could be improved don't be shy and tell me without fears! (I will definitely be way more shy than you!) And it will help me a lot when I work on my next Fanfic.**

 **I loved writing this story and reading all of your lovely reviews, it made my heart leap with joy every single time. You guys are definitely the best.  
** **I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed, since every single review reached my heart. You lot are truly amazing and I will work hard to improve so that I may one day be deserving of you all.**

 **Lastly, to everyone who read this far, no matter if they reviewed or silently lurked around, if they followed or if they don't even have an account, if they read everything in a completely unhealthy sleepless marathon that will make me and everyone that loves you worry at least a bit for your health, or if they took their time slowly reading every chapter and interaction and enjoying things at their own pace, no matter who you are or what your background is: thank you very much for getting this far, I hope you enjoyed this story and the memory of Taker and Dalia's silly interactions made your day and brought a smile to your face, no matter where you are, I hope you are happy, because knowing you took your valuable time to read this makes me happy too, and that is more than I could ever ask.** **Thank you.**


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